r/whatdoIdo • u/Content-Month4154 • 10h ago
My mom said she won’t be coming home today and is done being a mother
Sorry if my words are a bit everywhere, I’m freaking out rn.
I 19f have been doing my own thing recently trying hard to find employment but Im finding it a bit challenging. I haven’t had a job before so me being almost 20 with no work history has seem to become a problem because even grocery stores want at least 6 months experience. Me and my mother has had a close relationship the past years, almost like a Gilmore girls type of relationship. One thing Iv told her that I didn’t like though, where her choice in men. We’ve figured it out together and all has been well.
Ever since the start of September though Iv noticed a change in her. Being happy about turning 35, going out, talking to people. Iv been happy for her, finally being out there. She has spent all her time dedicated to being a mother and she’s done a great job doing it all alone. She’s always drank alcohol so she can handle her stuff, but for some reason this past month she hasn’t been able to remember what she did the previous night. Shed already come in from work intoxicated and be on the phone talking to men. And when she’s not on the phone, I would try to tell her something about what’s been going on inside the house and she just states that she doesn’t care and she doesn’t know what the rest of us (me and my 3 siblings) expect her to do. That she’s already working 40 hours and there’s nothing more she could do. She says a lot of the time that she’s the only parent taking on 4 children by herself and that it’s been hard and exhausting.
Today, she asked me why Iv been distant the past 2 weeks and she feels that I’m mad at her. I told her we can talk about it once she gets back home but she kept pushing and pushing so I told her. About how I don’t care for her drinking the past month and how’s she’s been aggressive and put her hands on me for no reason. She said she has no recollection of this whatsoever and wth I’m talking about. I gave her a bit more details and she said she couldn’t believe it and why didn’t I say anything. Like I said before, the next day she tends to not remember anything she does the previous nights. And I know she’s been stressed and sad lately so I didn’t want to come off as if I’m calling her a bad mother or an alcoholic. I also told her about how I don’t appreciate that when I do try to talk to her, she dismisses me and goes back to talking to whatever man she’s otp with. Mind you this all happened on a call today while she was on her way to work. I kept trying to stir the conversation away but she kept telling me it’s okay and just to say it. She ended up angry and sad saying how we want her to be alone and miserable in the house, how she can’t have a social life now after all of these hard years, and how she won’t drink anymore. Then hung up. Minutes later she sends me an alarming text saying she won’t be coming home and that’s she’s done being a mother, that she hopes we’ll see what it’s like without her.
I’m not sure if I was in the right, telling her all of that at the moment, I told her we can talk more at home so I can explain better because I know she’s has a history of depression and suicidal thoughts but even so she’s never done this before. What do I do from this point, should I give her space and see if she comes home later. Should I leave a text or try to call her. This just happened the past hour so she might come back, and if she does she would probably be very angry with me and everyone.
Edit: I just want to say that she’s the only person we have to rely on, when it comes to family they are all either estranged or deceased. Also we are all teens (13,14,16) so we can figure it out for a few days if need be.