r/whatdoIdo • u/[deleted] • 2h ago

Moved back in with my mom, struggling to accept her new lifestyle

I (26M) have recently moved back in with my mom (57F) to save some money. My father passed away a few years ago. I’m living in the basement for the time being. When I moved in she explained to me that she has taken up a new kind of lifestyle where she is very sex positive. She’s made friends with new people who are into having casual sex, and sometimes they do this at her house. I didn’t judge or anything, and in my mind figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, but now I feel differently.

She’s hosted some of these nights a few times now, and each time she’s only brought home one of her female friends, but several male friends. They get incredibly loud upstairs, and I can hear it even from the basement. It is incredibly awkward. I don’t know how to bring up how it makes me feel. Advice?

7 Upvotes

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11 comments sorted by

16

u/Roverette4751 2h ago

She told you what was what when you moved in to her house. I suggest ear plugs & ear phones or you find other more quiet accommodations.

10

u/Least-Leading2457 2h ago

Get a second job and a place of your own.

3

u/jggg24062000 2h ago

There is no secret, you have to talk with her

3

u/DntgiveaFck13 1h ago

Could always ask her to bring a “friend” home for you and join the party 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Pokemon_Roe 20m ago

Username checks out

2

u/KoalaClassic1152 2h ago

So, your mum is finally enjoying her sex life and that annoys you?

Are you aware of how hard it is for a woman to have a good relationship with sex? We are taught that our orgasm is "more difficult", that if we don't cum it's on us, that we cannot have too many sexual partners otherwise we are sluts and the list goes on

She is finally having a free, and I am 100% confident healthy sex life and that upsets you?

My man, you should chill a bit. Also because it his her house.

Maybe you should ask her to let you know when she has sex parties at home so you can be out for the weekend.

;)

1

u/Mors-Official 38m ago

You are living under her roof by her grace and her rules, so do not march upstairs swinging a moral hammer. But a basement with thin walls and a parade of noise is not a home, it is a kennel, and you are the dog listening to the hunt. Say it plain to her in daylight, no accusations, just the truth. Tell her you respect her life and you need the house to be quiet on those nights, or you need a schedule so you can be gone. That is not judgment. That is a fence line.

If she will not give you that, then the answer is not a speech, it is your feet. You moved in to save money, and a man saving money while his spine rots is a man losing more than he gains. Set a date and a number and get out. Until then, keep your door shut and your eyes on the exit. You march, and you do not let her choices become the noise that drowns your own.

1

u/Very_Awkward_Boner 20m ago

Her house, her rules.

1

u/Pokemon_Roe 19m ago

OP going to lose his shit when he finds out where he came from. In all seriousness, i would get another job and a second entrance.

1

u/Mysterious_Oil2761 1h ago

It is not your business. Either get ear plugs or move out. Good for your mother!

1

u/CleanSnake 1m ago

So just have a conversation with your mom and let her know how it’s making you feel without any judgment.

Maybe ask for some advanced notice so you can be out when she brings friends over or even find ways to improve the soundproofing of your space until you move out.

I will say the takes of just suck up the wild orgy and loud happening above you are kinda wild to me but to each their own