r/whatdoIdo • u/jackhanch12 • 8h ago
Girlfriends phone addiction is getting out of control and I have no clue what to do anymore
As the title says my girlfriend has a major phone addiction I’m talking on her phone 18 hours a day, can’t go to sleep without TikTok playing and on it the very minute she wakes up
I’ve tried many times to bring this up asking if there is something she needs help with and why she’s on it so much, but every time I just get dismissed and get told I’m overreacting about everything but it’s something that has really started to bother me. Does anyone have any advice for this, I love her very much and don’t want this to cause a big fight but im at a loss for what to do.
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u/freshesttofu 8h ago
My girlfriend told me that my doomscrolling was making her feel hurt and emotionally neglected. Hearing that broke my heart and made me put the phone down. Talk to her and tell her how it’s making you really feel. Like others have also said, just give an ultimatum.
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 8h ago
I set aside time daily where my phone is in a complete other room and all I’m doing is giving attention to my family.
Maybe propose something like that to start, OP, and if she can’t do it, well looks like you got some bigger issues.
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u/SillyGayBoy 8h ago
I was overdoing fb stuff and after a number of talks I have stepped way back from that stuff. It is possible but some stuff is just too interesting. I try to only do phone for audiobooks now whenever possible and put it down quickly.
To me if I start with chores or audiobook with my day, I am going to be a lot more productive. Coffee too.
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u/Safe-Character-5846 8h ago
Its an addiction. Treat it like one. She needs to take a day off just to prove she can, outside of using the phone for calls. Then she needs to challenge herself to do it for 3 or 4 days. Maybe you can get her to just leave an hour for checking the socials and close it. You'd be surprised how it goes. I did it...and ended up deleting FB back in 2016ish.
Instagram a week later. And that little used Ello just after that. I only use reddit now and on it just reading the things I follow with the lack of actual discussion forums outside of reddit. Its purely a physical addiction luckily no "chemical" addiction which is harder to tamp down. Break the habit forming part of it and youd be surprised how easy it is when you take accountability for your actions
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u/too_many_shoes14 8h ago
If she won't cut back you should suggest mental health counseling to help with her addicted and break it off with her if she does not immediately agree to go
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u/baby_bottoms 3h ago
Taking the time to talk to her and tell her how her actions are directly affecting you could definitely help! You could even come to a compromise, or work it out yourselves. If being honest doesn't phase her, the hard truth is that you might not be good for each other. But you got this !
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u/Prestigious-Algae876 1h ago
tell her what you’re missing, like having dinner or going to bed together without scrolling, and ask how she feels about it. if she wants help setting a boundary, twilock can lock her chosen apps at bedtime. it needs to be something she chooses too.
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u/Hot_unicornfarts 8h ago
Plan a vacation where there’s no reception. See if she starts jonesing.
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u/SpiritImpossible2753 6h ago edited 6h ago
My boyfriend gave me an ultimatum as well.
Most of my responses were “Yeah” and “uh huh” and it got to the point where he made me repeat what he said. Which held me accountable (bc I would never know what he said).
I changed my ways bc it wasn’t worth losing him or our relationship.
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u/Flat-Replacement4828 8h ago
Unfortunately, you can't make someone change, even for the better. The most you can do is give her an ultimatum