Long story short, My boyfriend(29 m) who I’ve been with for 3 years asked me(29 f) if his best friend(28 m) could stay with us for 3 days and it’s now 3 weeks. Around the 4th day, I confronted my bf about it and he pleaded with me to extend the time and be understanding and I did for him. His friend has a place, but one of his roommate is insane and they’ve even gone to court. The court ruling was supposed to happen a few days ago and I haven’t gotten any updates from my boyfriend, which now make me think this is going to be an indefinite situation. It’s an unfortunate situation and while I sympathize, I’m exhausted by it. Not trying to be mean, but I just want my space back, so I told my boyfriend that I’m tired of this situation and his friend has to go. It’s also a small space. My boyfriend spends most of his day after work with his friend, leaving little or no time for me and I mentioned that as well. I even sent a long list of places for rent to my bf to share with his friend. He told me he’ll tell his friend he has a week and that he didn’t realize he hasn’t been spending time with me and will do better. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and believing him because they’re truly like brothers. However, I’m noticing he’s being very to himself and quiet today after that conversation and I’m not sure what’s going on and how to approach it. Should leave the situation alone and wait to see if the friend leaves in a week and if my bf will give me more attention or should I confront him again?

TL;DR told my bf(29m) his friend(28m) has to leave our place and that he’s hasn’t been spending much time with me(29f) since his friend came. My bf agreed to tell his friend he has to leave in a week and apologized for not spending time with me but is being very quiet and to himself today.

Together six years.

We're currently going through a turbulent phase because I'm unhappy enough to consider breaking up. One major factor in this is our communication.

Our communication does not seem to be aligned a very well. He has continuously made me feel like it would be a bad idea for me to stand up for myself because it just ends up being a big hassle and he doesn't understand me and then gets frustrated over not understanding me. He doesn't see it that way though, and is of the opinion that he's always a supportive boyfriend and wants me to be open in our communication.

I'm currently trying to have it out over everything I used to sweep under the rug because otherwise I'm basically dying on the inside and am building up a lot of resentment. But especially since I've started to push back more, we've been clashing a lot.

Example: I'm sick today. When he came in in the morning I told him I felt sick in a very "aw dang, I didn't feel well yesterday evening and now I'm worse." type of way. He immediately told me that I should go to the pharmacy today and ask them if they have anything for me to get better soon. I told him that I might do that, but that what I'm sick with will not get me more info or something to get better by from a pharmacist. They will most likely just tell me to go to a doctor about it according to my own experience with them.

He then went on to tell me that he felt like I didn't accept what he said and that I immediately shot him down. And I'm just thinking "???" because sure, I didn't say "of course, what a great idea!", but I did engage with his suggestion and it's not like I'm physically dying and should go to a hospital or something. I understand that he cares for me, but I'm a grow woman who's been sick numerous times throughout the years and I have managed to pull through so far. Me having a different opinion over my own health and what I want to do to get better shouldn't be a major point of shared discussion in my opinion - especially if we're talking about me having basically a bad cold and not something like cancer.

I thought we had a low stakes discussion or sharing of thoughts, but he felt dejected and frustrated instead. He feels like my answers don't match what he said to me.

If the roles were reversed, I would've suggested the pharmacy and if he didn't feel like it or didn't see the point in it, I would've left it at that.

We constantly have tiny issues like that. He easily gets disappointed or will feel dejected when I don't engage with him in the way he wanted me to engage. He'll put his own needs first and expects me to put my own needs first too, and then we should see what comes out of that. (Took me ages to figure that one out because I am not familiar with that sort of conflict of interest resolution tactic.) I'm feeling like I used to bend a lot to have us work on issues as a team, and now I'm no longer able to do this sort of self sacrifice - and now he calls me inconsiderate or tells me I'm rejecting him or insinuates that I'm not a team player. I just feel like there seem to be some basic value differences that come out in how we communicate and what we want from communication.

And to refer to the title: I feel like there are a lot of emotions that he puts on me with a looot of things. There always seems to be some deeper emotional meaning of high importance to everything, and it stresses me out. I used to just talk to people if we had an issue and I always felt like I could contain my emotions to myself pretty well. Putting shame, guilt, rejection, disappointment or frustration onto someone else is something I only ever did if there was no way around it and I needed the other person to understand my emotional space. If I couldn't get through to someone with just explaining what happened on a logical level, then I would unpack the emotional level for a couple of minutes with them and then return to the much less exhausting and less painful logical level. That way I felt like we would understand each other, respect each other and truly meet each other as equals because no one felt like they were forced to react a certain way based on the strong emotions of the other person.

For my boyfriend, it's the opposite.

He doesn't contain his emotions, he'll freely make me responsible for them and he seems to have an emotional reaction to a lot of things - especially when I don't do what he expected me to do, or react in his expected way. An "alright, you sound like you know what you're doing with the pharmacy" becomes "you don't engage with my suggestions enough and I feel like you don't hear me". An "Oof, the handyman is coming in the day you're working in the office and I'm at home - I really wanted to do something outside of the house that day, but it's the most logical for me to stay home for this although it sucks" becomes "I really don't want to stay in that day. I already have other plans and I feel like it's unfair that I'd have to stay home for this". A "you were in the bathroom for 15 minutes and we don't have cell service here, so you didn't scroll on your phone - is your stomach alright?" becomes " It's so inconsiderate of you that you didn't take your wallet with you when you were gone for that long. I could've also used the restroom in that time but now I had to look after our valuables instead. And you didn't tell me either that you'd be gone for so long before you went.".

There have been many conversations during which I thought we would solve the issue at hand in a pragmatic way without involving deeper emotions and meanings about who we are as partners, and left the conversation feeling like the world's worst girlfriend because he usually has to argue the emotional case first (and always has an emotional case, it seems), and my reactions and ways of discussion don't match with what he wants from me.

Just constant small to large accusations and his feelings at the center. And he does not see it that way at all - I've tried to broach that topic. He is instead proud of immediately bringing up issues he has with someone because he feels like he is being honest that way. I don't know if he truly understands that him making me feel bad for ever thing he feels uncomfortable with or doesn't agree 100% with, is wearing me down. The vast amount and emotional intensity about it is what makes it especially hard to deal with.

I can feel that I'm exhausted about this. I didn't communicate with him properly for the majority of our relationship because it always felt like I was getting into a boxing ring over the smallest issues when I didn't nod and align myself with him in some way, and I was tired of feeling like a bad person whenever I stood up for myself - whether that's because he turned it on me or because he wouldn't contain his own feelings when he felt ashamed or sad about something he did, and I had to comfort him.

And he just doesn't see it the same way even remotely.

How would you go about a communication difference like this? Did anyone experience something similar and has some words of wisdom about it? Am I not seeing something here? Is my communication style completely incompatible with his? Do I need to work on my empathy and compassion and understand here and focus on the emotions first all the time?

TLDR: My boyfriend seems to put a lot of emotions into every conversation we have, and feels constantly disappointed, dejected and frustrated over minor things. Even low stakes conversations often end with us having a tense conversation about how I could've reacted better and been a better communicator. I'm not sure how to handle this any longer.

Me (22M) and my gf (21F) are in our final year of university, and we have been together for almost 3 years. Things have been amazing during these years, we've never really clashed and we've had so much fun together. We've talking about our future, and we've always said that we will be with each other forever.

But recently things have changed, and it's a long story.

TLDR: after getting a glimpse of what working entails, she isn't sure if she sees me in her future especially next to her parents who she is very close to, and is acting distant and not very communicative which had never been the case before. She is scared of arguing and her mind is probably racing with so many anxious thoughts. What do I do to help?

She just finished an internship and realised what her future job would entail, and ever since then she's been acting distant and a lot more independent (not a problem at all when we're apart, but it is when she's doing it while we're together - things like letting me carry her bags, sharing a umbrella etc. that she used to do and were cute she never does anymore because 'she's independent' and 'her own person').

We had a conversation about our future after the internship and I started by saying 'I promise I will be with you forever no matter what, we just need to figure out how we're going to do that now that we have to consider our future properly'. We both want to live apart for a few years with family (1.5hrs away by train so very easy to see each other, especially as her future job will be closer to me than her family anyway) to save up money to buy a house together (we already have experienced living together), and that's never ever been a problem. We've always been very committed to this future. Until that conversation.

She told me about how she thinks our lives are too different, and about how she doesn't want to 'replace' her family with me, and now she's even considering living with her family forever. She's always been super close to them, and I have always said I would love to live near them and that's always been OK. Now it seems like that isn't OK enough for her. She even suggested she wouldn't want to meet up after work or spend weeknights at mine as she'd just want to go back to her family. I know it was probably a reaction to the stress of an internship, but it scared me and I told her I'm worried she'll 'move on' in the future because of this. We didn't resolve anything then.

We then couldn't talk about it for 2 weeks as we were on a family trip with her parents. When we moved in to our university hall of accommodation (where we're staying together in a couple room), we were able to.

On our first evening there, we talked about it again. It was less emotional this time, but she said she doesn't know if her future includes me anymore. I said I'm confident that mine does, and I trust her to figure things out. She said she doesn't know how she feels and can't talk about it now, so I agreed to wait.

But I couldn't just wait endlessly, so 2 weeks later I brought it up again and said we need to talk because I need to know where she stands on our future. This was the big conversation.

She said out of the blue that she 'thinks we might be better as friends', something I'd never even considered as a possible thing she'd say. She said it was because we kept getting on each other's nerves, especially because the place we are staying in is quite cramped. And it's made worse by the fact that I booked it for both of us on a tight deadline during her internship, at a time where she hadn't made a decision and couldn't in time for the deadline. I booked it instead of another place because I felt it would be better for both of us, but she wishes she was at the other place because it's more cramped here than we expected (we've both stayed at the other place before and it is nicer - but it involved us staying in separate gender double rooms). So she resents the room we're in, and she says she resents me a little for choosing to stay here. She said I 'pressured her' into saying yes to staying here while we were discussing it over call, but she never told me that as we were chatting and I never felt I was acting that way (in fact I thought I tried my best to make sure I didn't). I was just trying to share all the pros and cons of both places which I felt she hadn't considered.

So her frustrations, and the cramped place leading to us arguing more than we ever have before, meant she thought we would be 'better as friends'. She said she didn't want to 'change me' to fit what she wanted, and that wouldn't be fair on me. I said that's ridiculous, and all relationships go through bumpy stressful periods, but the important thing is how you get through them and that you get through them together, and you work on yourselves during that. She said 'I don't want to always feel like this', meaning frustrated with me, resentful and stressed. I said once we've solved this, we shouldn't be feeling this way forever. Once again, a relationship will always have bumpy patches and we're very lucky we haven't had one yet.

So we told each other what we both need, and I have been trying to improve upon my things. And we agreed to wait and see how we feel in a month or so.

Things were getting a bit better after, although we still weren't saying 'I want to be with you forever' etc. and it still wasn't like normal - mainly on her part. Everytime I try to act cute etc. is met with significantly less of a reply than before. I know it's because she processes things slowly and it takes her a while, but it's not easy for me, which she does know.

A couple days ago we had another discussion, this time initiated by me. It started over something tiny, and became a bigger issue. She didn't like something I was doing, I apologised and then she immediately shut off (she does this a lot after I apologise, I think it's just the way her brain works). So I apologised again because I thought something was still wrong, and she got frustrated that I'm apologising too much, but she didn't tell me that. So then I tried to do something nice to apologise (unnecessary I know, but I felt like I should) but she got even more angry at that and told me I just need to apologise once.

That bothered me, so I said that I don't want to apologise more than once, but I don't know what to do when she just closes herself off so much and feels so awkward anytime we have an apology, conversation or argument. I told her I need her to communicate better with me, especially now. I said I need us to be fully open and honest with each other now because of everything that is going on between us, and that is how we'll get through everything. I told her, and tried not to be rude in doing so, that being more honest maybe would have resulted in us staying at the other nicer place, and it would prevent future things from becoming bigger issues.

She told me 'I shouldn't have to ask' and that she doesn't think arguments between couples are healthy, and that she doesn't want to be arguing with me forever. I told her that's what it means to be in a serious long-term relationship. I told her I know she gets stressed when we argue, I know that she finds it hard to express her emotions, but I really need her to try. I want to do everything I can to help her with that, but I can't if she just shuts off entirely and waits for things to 'resolve themselves'. She says she understands and she will try. We had that conversation, we ended it, and hopefully things will get a bit better on that front now.

But the issue still remains that she is acting so differently towards me now as she did a few months ago before the internship. She doesn't snuggle as much (I know the bed we have is small, but still), she doesn't initiate sex almost ever now (she says it's because she doesn't want to be stressed before her period, which she was before - but it was never an issue then), she doesn't say I love you with as much love as before, and she just overall seems more distant. She has made jokes about how 'that's just the person she is' and she's 'independent' and doesn't like 'kissing in public' even if it's a small goodbye kiss - even though she did before. I want to bring this up to her, but I don't want to just keep making it seem like she's the problem. I also don't want her to think we're just constantly arguing. I love her more than everything, and I want this to work because I am so sure that it can. In my eyes our life ambitions are very similar, and our lives are very compatible. I look up to her so much and do genuinely trust her, but I know she's got so many thoughts racing through her mind right now about our future, her job, her family, the cramped place we're in etc. that it's making things very challenging for her. I've told her we need to 'work together' not 'against each other' and she agreed, but little has changed.

I don't want to lose her as she makes me so happy, but I don't know what to do or say to help get her back. I don't even know if there is anything I can do.

How should I approach this now?

I am confused on what to do. Stay with my girl. We have been together since high school and I’m confused on how I feel. I love her and she’s my best friend but last year she went through a bipolar episode which lasted a few months and she has never been the same really since. she doesn’t really cook, or clean, she has trouble staying awake during the day due to her schedule. But she’s my best friend and after being together for so long idk. I sometimes feel more like a caretaker than a lover. it really makes me think about the future like if we get married and have kids and she goes back into another episode then what do I do? I I’ve spoken to my family and friends about us and they all basically say they don’t think we should be together without actually saying it, which makes everything worse.

TL;DR;
Should I stay with her or move on and just try to work on myself then find someone else?

I honestly don’t know where else to turn, so I’m writing this here because I really need some advice.
My girlfriend struggles with severe anxiety. She’s seeing a psychiatrist and currently takes Anafranil (clomipramine). Before starting medication, she used to cry almost every night because of her anxiety. Since starting treatment, some days are much better, but other days are still extremely difficult for her.
I love her so much, i know she is the one and I know she’s genuinely struggling. I don’t blame her for having anxiety, and I understand that what she’s going through isn’t something she can simply control.
But lately, I’ve been struggling too, and I feel like I have absolutely no space to express it.
Whenever something bothers me in our relationship, even something relatively small, I try to bring it up. Sometimes she responds defensively or snaps at me, which turns into an argument. Then she becomes extremely overwhelmed, starts crying uncontrollably, and sometimes has what I can only describe as an emotional breakdown.
At that point, whatever I was originally upset about completely disappears from the conversation.
Instead of talking about my feelings or resolving the issue, I immediately switch into trying to comfort her, calm her down, and make sure she’s okay.
And I genuinely want to be there for her. Seeing her in that state breaks my heart.
But here’s the problem: My feelings never get addressed.
After these episodes, she sometimes becomes completely unresponsive. I try talking to her, comforting her, asking what I can do, but she barely responds. I know she’s probably overwhelmed and feeling terrible, but the silence makes me feel like I’ve done something horribly wrong.
I start blaming myself for bringing up the issue in the first place.
And even after she eventually calms down, I can’t bring up what originally bothered me because I’m terrified of triggering another episode.
So the problem just stays unresolved.
This has happened so many times that I’ve started feeling like I’m not allowed to be upset in my own relationship.
I can’t be angry. I can’t express frustration. I can’t tell her when something hurts me without worrying that she’ll have another breakdown.
And it’s honestly exhausting.
The worst part is the internal conflict I’m constantly having with myself.
I keep telling myself:
“You’re overreacting.”
“Just let it go.”
“She’s already struggling. Don’t make things worse.”
“Stop being selfish.”
“Maybe you’re the problem.”
But then another part of me thinks, I’m a human being too. I have feelings too. I get hurt too.
And I don’t think wanting to express those feelings makes me a bad boyfriend.
I want to make something very clear: I don’t think she’s doing any of this intentionally. I don’t think she’s trying to manipulate me or make me feel guilty. I genuinely believe she’s overwhelmed by her emotions and doesn’t know how to handle them.
I also know I’m not perfect. Sometimes I get frustrated, and I’m sure there are things I could communicate better.
But I feel like I’ve become responsible for managing both her emotions and my own, while constantly suppressing mine to protect hers.
And I’m slowly becoming emotionally exhausted.
I don’t want to break up with her. That’s not why I’m writing this. I love her, I care deeply about her, and I want us to figure this out together.
I just don’t know how.
People often suggest having an honest conversation about your feelings, but that’s exactly what we’re struggling with. Even trying to explain how this situation affects me can lead to another emotional breakdown, and then we’re right back where we started.
I don’t want her to feel guilty about her mental health. I don’t want to make her anxiety worse. But I also don’t want to spend the rest of our relationship being afraid to communicate how I feel.
Has anyone been in a relationship where one partner’s anxiety or emotional reactions made it difficult for the other person to express their feelings?
How did you work through it?
How can I support her without completely neglecting my own emotional needs?
And most importantly, how can we learn to communicate and resolve conflicts when even small disagreements can become emotionally overwhelming?
I really want to make this relationship work. I’m just tired of feeling like I have to fight my own emotions every day.
Any genuine advice would mean a lot.

TL;DR: My girlfriend struggles with severe anxiety and often has emotional breakdowns during even minor disagreements. Whenever I try to express something that’s bothering me, the conversation turns into comforting her, and my own feelings never get addressed. I’ve started feeling guilty just for being upset, and I’m emotionally exhausted from constantly suppressing my emotions. I love her and don’t want to break up, but I don’t know how to communicate my needs without triggering another breakdown. I’m looking for advice on how we can work through this together.

Hi, Reddit. I'm really looking for some honest advice because I love my boyfriend, and I'm scared that I may have damaged our relationship because of something stupid I said.

My boyfriend, J (25M), and I have been together for a little while, and I genuinely see a future with him. Recently, something happened that I deeply regret, and I can't stop worrying about it.

We were lying down together after having sex, talking as we normally do, when he told me he had to leave to pick up his nephew but would be coming back.

Before he got up to get dressed, he leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my face away. When I later tried to kiss him, he playfully moved away. This wasn't unusual for us because we often tease each other by moving away when the other tries to kiss us. It's something we've always done jokingly, so I didn't think anything of it.

After he finished getting dressed, he came back to kiss me. I looked at him and said, "Oh, now you want to kiss me?" He then said he had to leave, and for some reason, I responded with, "I'm going to call my ex."

I honestly don't know why I said that. I wasn't planning to call my ex, I don't want my ex back, and I had no intention of entertaining anyone else. The words just came out of my mouth, and I immediately regretted them.

J got up and said he was leaving. I followed him, apologising and telling him I loved him and didn't mean what I said. I tried to hug him, but he moved away and continued towards the door.

I got dressed and followed him outside to his car because I didn't want him to leave while we were on bad terms. I kept apologising and telling him that he was the only person I wanted. I even offered to let him search my phone because I wanted him to know I wasn't talking to anyone else.

I became overwhelmed and started crying because I was genuinely afraid that I had hurt him so badly that he might leave me. I begged him not to leave me and promised that I would never make a comment like that again.

Eventually, he agreed that he could forgive me, but he still needed to leave. Before I got out of his car, I asked him for a hug and a kiss. He gave me both, and then I let him go.

When I went back inside, I was still crying. I messaged him to apologise again and called him, but he didn't answer. About 20 minutes later, he messaged me asking whether I had finished talking to my ex.

I reassured him that I wasn't talking to anyone and told him I had blocked my ex. For context, I had never blocked my ex after our breakup because there was no particular reason I felt I needed to. However, after what happened, I decided to block my ex and a few other people who had previously expressed interest in me. I wanted to make it clear that I was serious about J and wasn't interested in anyone else.

I apologised again, and he told me he could forgive me. However, I could tell that he was hurt. The way he looked at me that night was different from how he normally looks at me, and that has been bothering me ever since.

The following morning, he messaged me good morning, which reassured me a little. However, he didn't call me "baby" like he normally does. I know that might seem insignificant, but because he has never done that before, I can't help wondering whether he's still deeply hurt or whether something has changed between us.

Our anniversary is coming up on Tuesday, and he is supposed to come and see me. I don't know whether I should plan something special for us or give him the space to decide whether he still wants to see me.

I understand why my comment was hurtful. I can see how mentioning my ex during a disagreement could make J feel disrespected or make him question whether I would turn to someone else whenever I was upset. Even though I didn't mean it that way, I understand that my intentions don't erase the impact of my words.

What bothers me most is that I genuinely don't understand why I said it in the first place. I wasn't thinking about my ex, and I wasn't trying to threaten J or make him jealous. I wish I could explain what was going through my mind, but I honestly can't. I know that not understanding my own behaviour doesn't excuse it, and I want to make sure I never repeat it.

I also realise that constantly apologising and begging him to forgive me won't necessarily make things better. I don't want to overwhelm him or make him feel responsible for reassuring me when he's the one I hurt.

I genuinely love this man. This isn't about being afraid of being alone or simply not wanting to lose a relationship. I love him for who he is, and I want to build a future with him. I'm willing to take responsibility for my mistake and put in the effort to make things right.

So, Reddit, I need some honest advice.

- How can I rebuild his trust and help him feel secure in our relationship again?

- Should I give him space to process his feelings, or continue reassuring him that I love him?

- Should I plan something special for our anniversary, or let him decide whether he wants to see me?

- How do I show genuine remorse through my actions without constantly bringing up what happened?

- And, honestly, how do I understand why I said something like that when I didn't mean it?

I'm not expecting him to forget what happened overnight, and I know forgiveness is his decision. I just want to do what I reasonably can to repair the hurt I've caused.

Please be honest with me, even if it's something I might not want to hear. I know I made a mistake, and I'm not trying to justify it. I just want to learn from it and become a better partner.

TL;DR: I jokingly turned away from my boyfriend's kiss, and when he later tried to kiss me, we teased each other as we normally do. But when he said he had to leave, I stupidly said, "I'm going to call my ex." I didn't mean it and have no interest in my ex, but my boyfriend was hurt. I've apologised, and he says he can forgive me, but I'm worried things feel different between us. Our anniversary is on Tuesday, and I don't know whether to give him space or do something special. How can I make things right and rebuild his trust?

TLDR: Friend blew off my 40th bday party, which was important to me. Started talking to me after wishing me a happy bday very late on my bday, was talking normally for a few days then ghosted me. We WILL run into each other as we run in the same social circles. Do I leave it as it is or try to talk?

_____________________

I don't know what to make of this. I've had this friend (40F) for about 4 years, she would tell me (40F) all the time I'm her bestie. She's very flaky when she has a boyfriend (she goes through them a lot) but very present when she's single. I told her months in advance about my 40th birthday party so she could find a sitter (She regularly gets sitters when going out with her bfs) She's missed my last two birthdays but this one was important to me so I gave her lots of notice.

I found out the week before my party she wasn't going. I have a habit of trying to make sense of peoples actions, so I thought she didn't want to come because she feels anxious in groups of people she doesnt know (she's expressed this to me before). That made sense to me as a reason not to come. Just not caring enough to get a babysitter didn't make sense to me.

We were hanging out and she started talking about how she's not coming to my party because she has her sons bday party the next day (his bday was two weeks before but they were having it the saturday after my bday for whatever reason). Her sons party was in the afternoon the day after my party, she doesn't work so she has tons of time during the week to prepare so in my mind, she was covering for the fact that she didn't want to be around strangers. I told her that I realize she's probably anxious and thats why she isnt coming and that I'm totally fine with that! She denied it and I just said 'honestly its totally fine! I know you have anxiety, etc.'

She then gets this horrifically angry look in her face and yells at me "YOU ARENT MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY KIDS, NO ONE IS" and I just could not believe what I was hearing. That was NEVER up for debate, obviously your kids are important!? She's been rude to me in the past but I always let things go because I'm not one for confrontations. But this really rubbed me the wrong way - I told her she was being fucking rude and walked away. As I was walking away she said "birthdays just aren't important to me". Folks, I literally threw this girl a birthday party for HER 40th because she was sad nothing was going on and then the MORNING OF THE PARTY she said her boyfriend wasn't going to go (a different bf from the one she has now) so to cancel it. I had spent close to $80 on shit for her party.

We didn't speak that week then on my birthday she sent me a message at 11:45pm at night saying "Despite everything, happy birthday". I said thank you. She started talking to me as per normal, complaining about her car troubles the next day. I commiserated with her and was almost as friendly as I always am. She all of a sudden stopped replying to me and in fact messaged my husband about something she had dropped off in my mailbox. (They never talk, he didnt even know her #)

I didn't say anything to her again but then sent her a reel the other day as a sort of peace offering. She saw it and didn't reply.

We both hang around in the same social circles in our town so I am GOING to run into her. I'm surprised I haven't already!

Do I reach out to her to talk? Do I just leave it as it is? I am the type of person who always tries to see other peoples perspectives but maybe my judgment is clouded and I'm the issue here.

My boyfriend (24M) and I (27F) have been dating for six months and officially together for three.
He’s a wonderful boyfriend in many ways. He’s physically affectionate, thoughtful, consistent, makes me dinner, and includes me in his life and family. I genuinely feel loved when we’re together.
However, he’s extremely reserved when it comes to verbal affection. He rarely spontaneously expresses how happy he is with me or how much I mean to him. We’ve discussed this several times, and he says he cares about me a lot and will try to express himself more.
I’m starting to fall in love with him, but the difference in how we express emotions makes me insecure. I sometimes worry that my feelings are developing faster than his, although he says we’re continuing to grow closer.
I don’t want to pressure him to say “I love you” before he’s ready, but I also don’t want to feel like I constantly have to ask for emotional reassurance.
How can I distinguish between a communication difference we can work through and a genuine emotional compatibility issue? How can I approach this without making him feel pressured?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months, and I’m falling in love, but he’s not verbally affectionate. Despite discussing my needs, I struggle to know whether our feelings are progressing at the same pace. How do I navigate this difference without pressuring him?

Me (29F) and my boyfriend (31M) just got back together after a small pause, but overall we are together for 8+ years. I caught him lying and creating fairy tales many times and he won't ever listen to my complain. However I feel deeply sorry for him because I think he is unaware of doing that...

Is that even a thing? Can someone really be this ill and not see through their own lies? Or am I actually apologizing for a pathological liar?

Some days I am confused, other days I am angry. Other than that he is a loving person.

For context he is mainly lying about his experiences with clients. He sees a lot of people during a day, and let's say 25% of them are dumb or trolls. But what can make me angry is, when he is lying to my eyes about how he handled the situation, and he is flexing what he had told them. None of it happened, I see he is fabricating reality. He is doing this to me, to his family, to his friends. No exceptions.

Is there a way to talk him through it?

TL;DR: Boyfriend (31M) is lying to make himself look better. I see through his lies but I am unable to tell if he is doing it on purpose or not. I don't know how to resolve the situation.

As the tittle states, I am having thoughts about ending my relationship with my partner. We’ve been together for a little over a year. In that time we have broken up multiple times. From him thinking he’s gay to me worrying about the future or lack of future children to him thinking I’m better off without him, we’ve had a lot of downs. We have also had a lot of ups. From new jobs, new homes and finding light within each other.

Recently I have relocated back to my childhood home after some problems with old living arrangements and our relationship has been a bit rocky. First, not a month after I moved back home, he broke up with me because he thought I deserved better than him and we were apart for a bout 2 months. We did get back together and it’s been good. Or so I thought.

This past weekend we had our second monthly weekend together. We made it an early Halloween weekend and watched our favorite movies, made Halloween themed snacks and carved pumpkins. We had a good time together except for the fact that I had this fake smile on my face. I just couldn’t be truly happy and I don’t know if he noticed but I did. I have been having these hours that since I’m not happy then we should break up. I have been racking my brain for a way to talk myself down from doing it and my only reason is that I hate being alone but that is not a reason to stay in a relationship. I know that. I just feel like I’m stuck and my heart wants two different things. I don’t know. I need some advice and I can’t ask on my main socials because he follows me on all of them except here. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!

TL:DR I am having conflicted thoughts about ending my relationship with my boyfriend and need some advice

Update: I broke up with my boyfriend this morning. I am going to focus on myself

I'm 30M, and my girlfriend is 29F. We've been together for almost 14 years. I love my gf a lot, probably more than she realizes. I work around 13 hours a day, but I still try to make time for her. Even when I'm at work, I reply to her messages whenever I can, sometimes within seconds. I do this because she's important to me, and I want her to feel that she's a priority in my life.

However, I often feel like I'm putting much more effort into our relationship than she is.

She is online but wont reply to my messages for a long time. We sometimes barely talk for 30 minutes, and even then, I'm usually the one carrying the conversation. I'm the one asking questions, starting discussions, and trying to keep us connected, while she mostly just responds.

Another thing that bothers me is how little I know about her daily life. She rarely shares what she's doing or how her day is going. I'm not asking her to tell me where she is every minute, and I don't want to control her or make her feel suffocated. I respect her independence. I just want to feel like someone she naturally wants to share her life with.

Most of the time, I'm the one asking for time, attention, and meaningful conversations. I understand that people have different communication styles and that she has her own responsibilities. I don't expect instant replies all the time, but I do wish she would sometimes initiate conversations or make an effort to spend quality time with me without me having to ask.

Marriage is another major concern for me. I've asked her to marry me several times, and she tells me that she wants to marry me but not right now, perhaps in the next few years. I understand that marriage is a serious decision, and I don't want to pressure her into something she's not ready for. However, after almost 14 years together, I'm finding it difficult to understand what our future looks like or when we might actually take that step.

I sometimes question myself and wonder whether I'm too attached or becoming possessive. Maybe because I make so much effort, I unconsciously expect her to show love in the same way. I understand that replying quickly isn't the only way to demonstrate love, and I know that everyone needs personal space.

At the same time, I feel that wanting regular communication, emotional closeness, and clarity about our future isn't unreasonable in a long-term relationship.

1. Am I expecting too much by wanting more consistent communication and attention after 14 years together?
2. How can I distinguish between being emotionally attached or needy and having reasonable expectations from my partner?
3. Is it common for one partner to initiate almost all conversations and make most of the effort, or does that suggest an imbalance in the relationship?
4. How should I approach the marriage conversation when she says she wants to marry me but keeps postponing it for a few more years?
5. How can I communicate my needs without making her feel controlled or pressured?

I'd appreciate honest advice, including perspectives from people who have been in long-term relationships or have experienced similar situations.

TL;DR: I'm 30M, my girlfriend is 29F, and we've been together for almost 14 years. I work 13 hours a day but still make time for her, while I often feel that I'm the one initiating conversations and asking for attention. She says she wants to marry me but needs a few more years, and I'm trying to understand whether my expectations are reasonable or whether I'm becoming too attached.

I am dating someone, my boyfriend. It's been 3 months. He knows about my past relationship, which was kinda toxic. My ex used me financially and physically and made me so emotionally destructive.

So, my current boyfriend knows about my past. But my ex sent him a Facebook friend request, and he accepted it. Now, they are talking in a friendly manner, as he said.

I told him that it hurts me because I put so much effort into getting out of that toxic relationship. I was also physically and emotionally isolated throughout my teenage years, with no romantic or physical connection.

I think my ex used me.

So, my boyfriend told me today that he had a talk with my ex about maintaining boundaries and not pursuing any romantic intentions. It seems like they are talking on calls now, too.

He knows my feelings and how much I was hurt, yet he still wants to keep in touch with him.

I didn't tell him to cut things off because it's his freedom to choose who he wants to talk to. Yet, it's affecting me.

Whenever he talks about my ex, I feel like I am distancing myself from my boyfriend because I want to close that chapter of my life. I have closed it, but I feel like my boyfriend is trying to reopen an old wound.

I am 23, and he is 26. We started dating when he was going through a breakup with his ex. We were friends before we started dating.

What do you think? What should I do? Any suggestions on how to handle this?

TL;DR: My boyfriend knows how toxic my past relationship was, yet he chooses to stay in contact with my ex. I respect his freedom, but it hurts me and makes me emotionally distant. Am I wrong for feeling this way, and how should I handle it?

I'm looking for advice on how to better support my girlfriend(22F), while I'm 24M. She's in her final year at UCLA, but had to take some time off because of mental health struggles. Over the past four weeks, I've noticed she's been sleeping a lot, like a whole lot. Sometimes for up to 14 hours a day. And she takes naps throughout the day as well. She's been neglecting things like laundry and washing her sheets, and sometimes doesn't wake up to get ready and go to her morning classes. Doesn't text back for days at a time. She often tells me she didn't go to class that day, and it's becoming and common occurrence. She stays in her apartment all day, and doesn't go out.

I want to ask her if there’s anything I can do to help, but she always says she’s fine and that it’s not a big deal. I worry about her because it doesn’t seem normal to skip classes and sleep so much. I feel like I’m always checking in on her, but she seems pretty relaxed about everything. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, whether I should back off and let her do her own thing and just be there for her, take a break, or end things. If anyone has any advice or has a similar situation and what did you do? Do you think you did the right thing?

TLDR: Basically I'm(24M) worried about my gf(F22) because she's been skipping classes, not going to school, not doing laundry, and sleeping for 14 hrs. at night then she she is up during the day, she says she's still tired and takes more naps. She struggles with depression and says she's trying tog et better but I'm concerned if this is going to become worse or what should I do to best support her?

I (36/F) have a friend (35/F) who I suspect is struggling with her mental health (possibly postpartum?) but who also is a bit exhausting and even mean. I'm running out of ideas for how to not only help her but also stay friends with her, if I even want to do that.

Context: Friend is part of a larger group of 7 girl friends who went to school together. We are all mid-30s, about half are now married with small kids, some in relationships but without children (like me) and 1 single. 4 of us live in the same city and see each other somewhat often, but everyone lives within ~3hrs and visit each other for special occasions. She has 2 healthy kids under 5 and moved ~2hrs away to have more space and a bigger house with her husband, who is a nice and responsible guy and they are both healthy and AFAIK financially pretty comfortable. I don't see her often anymore but she's still part of group chats and invited to things, friends on social.

The problem is that in the past few years she has seemed kind of miserable in an aggressive way, refuses help, takes everything very personally and seems to lash out even when it has nothing to do with her. Things like:

• I mentioned going to a play with my boyfriend and she replied "Must be nice. I'll never get to do anything like that again." I don't know how to respond to things like this, other than make sure I don't accidentally tell her about doing anything fun, which isn't how friendship works.
• Another friend sent photos of outfits she was considering for a family wedding to the group chat asking for help deciding and Debbie Downer turned it into a conversation about how she doesn't fit into her old clothes and can't be stylish and is just a frumpy mum forever now etc. Everyone rushed to reassure her and she kept saying things like "I don't need your pity, I understand that I'm ugly now. I'm completely disgusting but I'm actually at peace with it."
  
• One of our friends has been through the wringer with IVF, which has caused her a lot of anxiety and disappointment. This woman has the gall to respond to her talking about the struggles with reminders that if she doesn't have kids at least she'll still be able to have fun, which I find rude because the other friend is really quite upset about it all and very much wants children. I'm actually very upset on the other friend's behalf.
• If any of us who live nearer together do things together (girls night, kids birthday party, etc) post a photo of us online, she'll usually leave some sort of offputting "good for you" type comment.
• Two of the mums in the group invited her and her kids to go to a children's museum recently and she lashed out saying that they didn't understand how taxing the long drive would be for her and the kids, that her kids aren't going to know how to behave at a museum anyhow and then very sarcastically told them to have fun without her.
  
• After another similar incident this summer of her angrily turning down an invitation, I suggested a few of us visit her town (area known for great hiking, skiing etc. lots of cabins and such for rent, fun outdoors activities for kids, it would be a nice weekend.) She got very angry (nobody was asking to stay with her, just vacation nearby and visit) because it would be so much work to clean the house to have people visit and so we abandoned the idea because it escalated so quickly.

Multiple times people have offered to visit her, watch her kids, help find a sitter, send her things or money, or gone out of their way to try and include her. She always refuses, even acting offending that people have offered. She didn't used to be like this, and another friend who is also a mum who struggled with postpartum gently asked about her mental health and if she needed help, and Debbie Downer lashed out saying that she's fine just nobody understands how hard it is to have kids.

It's really hard to talk to her, because every conversation gets redirected to how she can't have hobbies, be alone, listen to music or podcasts, wear nice clothes, go to restaurants, go to the movies, socialize, watch tv shows for adults, etc as a mum. I want to be sympathetic but it's far above and beyond what other mums in our group seem to experience, and some of them are quite a bit worse off than she is. She's rejected so many offers of help and solidarity at this point, and I find some of the things she says mean and difficult to tolerate. Others in the group agree with me but we also believe that she is having a rough time so we don't want to exclude her, but it's becoming difficult. What should I do?

TLDR: A friend seems very depressed and resentful about her children, refusing offers of help and lashing out at people when we invite her to things, offer help or even just mention doing something she feels she can't ever do again now that she has kids. I want to be supportive of my friend, but I find her miserable, aggressive comments offputting and even sometimes cruel, and she's rejected offers of help and concern about her wellbeing. How do I handle this?

TL;DR- My bf is basically unemployed and lazy and I'm sick of it

Me and my bf have been together since we were 18. We're polar opposites but we've made it work and it was going good, we were madly in love and everything. We've been together for 5 years. But lately, my bf has changed. Like, he has given up his career goals, given up his health, exercise, hobbies and everything.

Everyday he's out late partying and hanging out with friends. He basically does no work and is just out with his friends the whole day. I've tried communicating with him, but he says he needs time and needs to explore more about what he really wants to do in his life. This has been going on for an year now. I am okay with him not going to college or not working right now, but a person should do something meaningful with his life, right? And this has been such a turnoff for me. He's getting more short tempered everyday and that shit triggers me a lot. These days I just keep quiet instead of fighting to preserve my energy. I've been feeling like breaking off, but I'm afraid to be alone as I've no other friends and I'm not close to my family. What do I do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 1/2 years. We met online; talked for about 2 months before dating. We’ve had our share of ups and downs in our relationship, as well as bad fights where the relationship was either going to end or not.

The first 6 months of our relationship I wasn’t aware but noticed a handful of behavior patterns that didn’t seem normal and uncalled for. Fast forward, I learned and he confessed that he has an alcohol problem. In the beginning of our relationship it was bad when it came to fights; he would shout and scream. I chose to stick through it but set clear boundaries with him about how he talks and treats me. He had 2 bad withdrawals and I was through it all with him as when he was sober he was amazing, and a great partner but when he was under the influence it would be bad and cause me to shut down, be quiet and very weary of how to be around him.

He’s done a lot better and we thought if maybe he could find something else to help he could ween off of alcohol and be better. So he chose weed, I told him he can’t do both and he told me he wouldn’t and will only use weed so that he’s not drinking. I gave it a couple of months but caught on that he was going to continue drinking. His consumption wasn’t excessive as it use to be, and I would tell myself he’ll stop.

I confided in him in the past that I deserve a sober him and that it’s not fair for him to supposedly not drink during the week but when I get to see him he’s drunk. I told him I’m scared that I’ll grow to resent him.

He’s half way through school, he doesn’t excessively drink like he used to but I also feel like that’s a lie. And I think I’m starting to resent him. We talked about marriage, having kids, and me moving in. But with our recent bad arguments I told him and I tell myself I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. I want to have hope that he will stop and be the man I fell in love with; but at the same time I’m worried that all the hard work he put in to drink less and work to become sober, on top of going to school again. I’m worried he will go back to drinking excessively and destroy his life… he’s informed me in the past in casual conversations of what he hypothetically would be doing if he hadn’t met me. And let’s just say it’s terrible.

I care and do love him; but I feel like I’m losing myself and him. How does one continue to work on a relationship like this? I feel bad as I saw him last weekend and I couldn’t find myself to be intimate with him.

I know this road isn’t easy, I don’t expect him to be perfect as I’m not either; I see him putting forth his effort in being better. But I’m at lost…

**TL;DR;** :
My boyfriend has an alcohol problem which he’s been trying to work on stopping, I’ve given him time; chances and setting a firm boundary that since he’s starting weed to help him stop drinking he can’t do both. Which he hasn’t kept his promise on. I’m starting to resent him and the relationship; but I love and care about him but unsure of how to proceed with the relationship as I fear if I leave he will destroy his life by going back to excessively drinking. What do I do?

I have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 1 year.

Most of arguments stem from me crying too often because things are not in my favour. When I cry for such reasons, he says that i’m too immature because i’m crying to get what I want, which is not entirely true. Sometimes, I cry when i get icked but it doesn’t mean I hate him, I just needed the time to accept it. I realise I’ve been too dependent on him for my emotions, and I would have to work on this (any advice?) A practice I’ve been doing is thinking he loves me regardless and unconditionally which helps to regulate my emotions other times.

Though the frequency has lessened, a recent incident has caused our relationship to hit rock bottom. We both still love each other very much, but he doesn’t want to see me cry (especially for stupid reasons) or get upset because he feels bad when I do. He only says this when he thinks the reason I’m crying is not substantiated. There are also instances where I’ve cried and he’s been there for me! He had suggested to break because our relationship has been unhealthy. He feels like he’s not good enough for me. But I just can’t because we both still love each other! Idk what to do because our arguments always stem from me crying too often so he feels like there’s still going to be a next time.

I want to grow and have a future for us. Emotion is what’s dragging me behind, it’s embarrassing for me.

TLDR: I cry too often for stupid reasons, bf wants to breakup.

Hi Everyone, I don’t post to Reddit. So I apologize if I make mistakes in terms of how posts should be written.

I am a (21M) who has a (22F) girlfriend and have been very fortunate to have a great 2 years relationship and career prospects right now. We are both in our senior year of college and I am currently picking between two job offers.

One of them is the exact career that aligns with my goals however I have to move away. (I won’t say the amount, however it’s roughly 70k more take home pay than the offers to stay in my location). The other one is staying here with her, and making ends meet.

My thought process I can’t turn away that much money, at the end of the day I love this girl a lot but a college relationship in the grand scheme of things is not enough to throw away something as life changing.

She has vocalized that she could never do long distance and wouldn’t come with me (ofc she has family here and I don’t).

How do I tell her I’m taking the job and then what?

I’m thinking something like “I love you, but I have reached a point in my life where staying here requires me to turn away from the future I need to pursue. I’m going to take the offer with xyz”.

Ofc it needs to be more refined, but I care for her so much and I just want it to hurt as little as it can.

TL;DR I am taking a job and moving away from my GF, who vocally has stated can’t do a long distance relationship. How do I tell her?

Edit - Thank you all for the comments, I did not realize how fast people respond on Reddit. My follow up question is do we continue dating for the rest of our senior year?

I’m 22M and my girlfriend is 25F. We’ve been together for 5 years, and I love her more than anything. I’ve travelled to see her many times and am currently attending college with the goal of transferring closer to her.When we met, I was immature and had poor communication skills, but I’ve worked hard to become a better partner. I try my best to support and understand her, but whenever she feels overwhelmed or worries about the future, she blocks me on everything. I understand she struggles, but it really hurts because I put so much effort into our relationship. I feel lost because I love her and want to help her, but I don’t know what else I can do.

TL;DR I love her more than anything and just want her to be okay. I’ve done everything I can to support her but I feel lost kind of because what I can do to help her

For context, we started dating in grade 10 of high school and it is now our final year of university.

For the majority of our relationship I feel that we have been extremely in love and have shared some incredible memories. I would not trade any of my time with him for anything else and would never regret how we have spent university and previously our high school experience.

There have definitely been ups and downs of our relationship, especially following one year of being with each other and during our first year of university. Most of these issues arrised from mental health issues related to depression and nearly dropping out of university. Through this time, he has helped me stay in school and has supported me and cooked for me and hangs out with me when I am sad. I have also tried my best to support him when he is going through similar emotions and working through them together.

As our time in school ends together, I am trying to think of the next steps in our futures. I see a divergence in our paths and him more inclined to city life while my career will involve travel and time in more rural areas. We are both unsure about kids and we both agree that we would not consider marriage till we have lived with each other for two years. Through the entire span of our relationship (7y) we have never lived together although we spend a lot of time at each others places and are thinking of moving in together after school. He seems pretty set on continuing our life together however my gut is telling me that things may not work out and I don’t want to waste his time or mine.

I have been thinking about future issues of us both never being single as adults and how this could build resentment or difficulty figuring out who I am as a person before committing. I also would like to get a better reign on my personal mental health issues and goals but I can’t decide if I will be able to figure this out with him or if I need time alone.

I also feel like he may be in a similar state and is unsure of what he wants fully after school, and he also has difficulty making friends. I felt emotionally stunted with him in our first and second year of university as we pretty much stuck together and have had difficulty branching out which I feel could happen again after school if this pattern continues.

I genuinely want the best life for him and I want him to make friends and realize his goals but do not want to hold him back or hurt him.

I have had difficulty finding people in similar situations so I am reaching out here for some advice or opinions. Thank you.

TL;DR
Can’t decide if I should break up with my boyfriend of 7 years before university ends. I am worried about differences in where we want to live and growing as a person who has never been single as an adult.

I m 18 and currently in 12th grade and due to some reasons i joined online gc and found a beautiful girl named x
She is 17 and she lives in a different state than me
i kinda like her and find her attractive and i wanna be in a relationship with her but I don’t think she would be in online relationship
She is a good English speaker and is in 11th grade from some days she is kinda replying me dry and i feel like losing my connection with her but i like her and I don’t want her to stop talking with me and yesterday she send me a voice note and her voice is sweet ❤️
She has no past or had any relationship and thats the thing i like most about her
I wanted to tell her i like her but I don’t know what she wants?
tl;dr i wanna be in a relationship with my online crush but I don’t know what she wants’

I don't know how to feel about it, we have been extremely close friends for over a year and recently we've started to say more sexual and intimate things to each other. I don't want to lose my best friend, and i don't want an online relationship (she lives halfway across the country.) I have always had trust issues with people, but I met her at a low point in my life and she was there for me, so I trust her more than anyone. She is who I would go to if I wanted to get something off my chest. I say this because I can't help but trust her a lot less now that we feel this way.

It should be known that I'm the one that was pushing the boundaries, testing the waters to see what I could say to her and have her reciprocate it, but I think it's gone too far. Every "intimate" thing I say to her, she says something just like it. It's not longer testing the waters we are neck deep lol. I enjoy my time with her, and I enjoy the things we say to each other, but I miss just being close friends. It feels a lot different now and I don't know what to do or think about it. Nevermind the age gap haha

TL;DR: Fell in love with best friend, miss being friends, don't know how to feel

I (m27)want to start off by saying I have a disease that has caused me significant brain fog and memory problems throughout the years. I have recently gotten on medication that made me able to process and remember things, and one of these is how my friend has treated me. I've always noticed she's done weird things but I never assumed she did it with bad intentions, I always assumed she was sweet and nice. We had what seemed like good times and enjoyed doing things together, but it seems like she would trash talk me behind my back. I lived with my abusive mom and during this, she sent me a picture of a dead mamed animal on a burner account through messenger. She confessed it was her when I said I was going to call the cops and I asked why she did it, she just said idk. I never brought it up again, I'm not sure why. We stopped talking for a bit after that then she found out I was going to get a job and contacted me to be her roommate. I was desperate to get out of a physically abusive home and moved in with her and her bf. This is when things kinda start going bad. Her boyfriend and I got along well and had a similar sense of humor, and we became friends. He told me she complained a lot about me behind my back and felt like she was trying to get him to hate me. We didn't hate each other and became friends, especially because she was apparently kind of mean to him and he would tell me about her behavior and we would drink. I started dating his friend as well and we all hung out. Her bf ends up telling me he likes me while they are dating but it's been a dead bedroom and they've been fighting for months. I immediately tell him we are both in a relationship and I would never do that, and I immediately tell her what he said. She then decides to tell me that her and my at the time boyfriend were in her room while he was telling her I was ugly, and she'd known about it for weeks and didn't tell me. It feels like they were probably shit talking me. She tells me this and I immediately realize something was off but I wasn't able to put it together, but I realized I didn't want to be her friend. She made me sit down with him and interrogated us on the couch, they dated for a month or two more and then broke up. This is where I messed up. I was depressed and drinking with her ex, and we ended up sleeping together. I immediately felt guilty and told her, and she didn't care or react at all, then told her entire family and freaked out over it, and said she did want to be friends anymore. We stopped being friends and she showed up at my place crying saying she wants to be friends again. I tell her we need to build up trust and we can talk again.

She recently got engaged and I fell ill with sepsis and she didn't really call or text much, I ended up spending Christmas in the hospital and she didn't call or text much. I notice she didn't put much effort in at all, just enough to keep our friendship going I guess? She said she was very busy planning a wedding and didn't have the time. Meh whatever. I got really sick, all of my hair fell out and I really didn't think I would recover but I did and I'm doing much better now that they put me on new meds while I was there. She invites me to her wedding and I show up, she tells me her husband was complaining about having to come get me even though they invited me, but I feel like it was more her complaining or the both of them. During the wedding, things felt like old times and I actually had a good time. While I was there, our friend wanted to take a picture of her and my friend said that "I should take it, my phone is probably better than yours" in a really snobby way in front of his family. I tell her we have the exact same phone, and she just stares at me with this "caught" look. The wedding happens, I had a good time and went back home. Now she barely calls, we don't hang out and this Christmas, she tells me she isn't coming down because gas is too expensive. (She lives a state away) I feel like I should cut this off? How do I go about talking to her about this? We've been friends for 10+years since middle school.

Tl;Dr: health got better, realized my friend was mean to me and taking advantage of me while sick.

Hi guys, so me (F22) and my gf (F20) have been going out for a year and for the most part it's been bliss. However I've noticed cause of an argument yesterday that whenever we have an argument and she gets mad at me she basically shuts down and doesn't communicate or leaves me on read.

I've noticed she in general struggled with communicating when she's mad and she has also admitted it. An example is how once where she told me she was mad but refused to tell me the reason she was until I was omw home even though I kept asking her for several minutes.

I know people need space sometimes after an argument but I always find myself in these situation left feeling like shit or this urge to spam texts into the void hopping she'll respond. I think it's due to the fact that she doesn't say that she needs space or anything and just dissappears. So how do I not ig let the silence get to me so much and how do I bridge the topic of how her silence hurts me without upsetting her or trying to sound like the victim.

TLDR: How do I (F22) not let my GF's (F20) silent treatment get to me and how do I talk with her about it without upsetting her or sounding like the victim?

I (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been in a relationship for quite a few months now. We met at work, and despite not initially wanting to be in a relationship after he asked me out, a few months of friendship and casual dates eventually changed my mind. He’s sweet, considerate to my feelings, and I don’t really have to ask for things. We share similar political opinions which is important to me, and we’ve generally never had any big issues. A few months into our relationship we both moved for college, but for the most part the distance hasn’t been an issue and we’re excited to plan visits to each other. However, there’s one main problem. Since we’ve officially gotten together, I’ve noticed he has a habit of complaining about ALL of the problems he creates, but is willing to do absolutely nothing to fix
it. Like picking up three full double shifts in a row at work after weeks of us agreeing he hates it and doesn’t need it (no bills,) and then constantly saying he feels like death and is sick, nauseous, didn’t eat after reminding him to, hates work, is miserable there, nobody will take his shift two hours before, etc. Or he will spend $500 on card games in a month, and then complain people don’t trust his spending habits.

The last major factor is the way he depicts himself to me. He will randomly talk in a baby voice, which most people do occasionally, but in reference to himself. Like he will switch into a baby voice to describe what he’s doing or what he’s going to do, and it’s such a small thing I don’t say anything but it really irks me for some reason 😭 along with that he is so sensitive towards what I say. As an overly sensitive person at first I understood him wanting reassurance, but it’s like if I don’t say “I love YOU more” for the 7th time, he gets genuinely upset. And you can apply that same logic to any other normal conversation or question. It all really hurts him, or he takes slight sarcasm like it’s a declaration against him and his feelings.

None of this was a real issue at first, but it’s driving me crazy, and he’s supposed to come visit and stay with me for my first Halloween at college, which I’ve been excited about for years. He’s more introverted than me, hates parties, and will definitely want to leave after 20 minutes. I’m worried this visit could either make me lash out at him or ruin my entire excitement towards the weekend plans. Last time he visited, all my stress towards him left and we had a great time, and it took two weeks for me to feel agitation towards him again. I have NO idea what to do. Reddit, what do I do? 😭😭

Tl;dr, boyfriend pisses me off until we visit in person, worried about Halloween plans.