My chest feels a little tight and I feel a little nauseous, but at the same time I feel better.

He’s just started college recently, and I have of course told him that I’m here and not pressuring him to give me all of his attention, that I want him to do well in his classes.
The thing I didn’t say to him that has been on my mind though, is that he has a lot of time to do other things, like go out and talk to friends. I don’t mind that at all. But it was obvious that I was definitely not top priority.

I thought he was cute, smart, and funny, (I’m also trans, and he was one of the first relationships to treat me like a normal person in that regard) but then it wasn’t really long enough for us to get to know each other before the emotional and communicational distance started to tank the relationship. I’m glad we called things off now.

I’m really proud of myself for how I communicated everything and handled it. I’m very much a people pleaser, so this experience feels like gaining control over my life, and I do think I’ll be better for it.

I think the thing I’m most frustrated about (or that I’m trying to focus on instead of the breakup itself) is that I spent money on him. 😤

So today I (24M) just had a video call with my LD girlfriend (25) for the first time. I'm in Norway and she's in Georgia. We're not more than two weeks into our relationship, but we wanted to see each other this way so much that we decided to do a call already. I was so incredibly nervous, but oh my god I love her even more now 😭 Its hard to do small talk when English is the second language of both of us, and we had some awkward silences where we just looked at each other, but it all went fine and we laughed a lot and talked about all sorts of stuff, and she's thankfully way more of a talker than I am. The line even broke in 10 minutes in and I thought I was done for 😔 But she simply called me back. This is the first serious relationship for both of us, and this feels like a great step on the way. I finally feel like I have a direction in life..

Hi all, I need some advice or tips or something to help clear my mind. These last 2 weeks of seeing my boyfriend for the first time have been amazing! He is everything he has portrayed across calls and texts, he is sweet and kind, he's bought me gifts and thought of me daily since I've been here, I have too of course! I'm heading back home in a week (26th) on an early flight. Whilst I miss my cat (I left them with a neighbour to look after) and would be happy back home as well, I know I will miss my boyfriend and I will miss his company and just being around him. I'm autistic, an over-thinker and I just know I will miss him so much. How do I handle/overcome or anything that can help ease my mind with traveling back and going back to just calls and texting.

Also have a picture of the sunset tonight

My mom took us to a Halloween themed trail, we went to an indoor waterpark, and did some shopping in Frankenmuth. All around a great time together 🩷

My first time meeting my sweetheart!!! My plane leaves tomorrow and its about a 12hr flight (Texas to Dublin) ill get there around 8am on Monday ive never been on a plane this long before and I've never even been out of the country beforeeee I'm a little nervous about the airport and everything and im still finalizing my packing so I'm getting anxious I won't have everything done in time 😭 but I know ill be okayy!!! Im so beyond excited to go over and see himmmm!!! I know the second we see eachother all my nerves will disappear! I'll be over with him for 3 weeks so we have a bit of time together. We got our own Airbnb and everything and its going to be so fun cooking together and playing house and watching movies all cuddled up like awwww😭😭🩷🥹 im just so excitedddddd my heart feels so full🩷🫶

What activities do you and your partner do while on call?

We have tried

- playing video games

- 'streaming'

- movie/TV show

These activities have uncovered their own issues/limitations so we are looking for new suggestions :)

I have my phone and a TV with Xbox.

He has his phone, laptop, pc and TV with xbox.

I’m currently in the process of moving to my partner’s country so we can get married and start building a life together. ❤️

I’d love to hear from those who have gone through something similar! What has your experience been like, both the good and the challenging parts? I’d really appreciate hearing your stories, advice, and anything you wish you had known before making the move.

He’s extremely hesitant to give therapy and medication a chance because he’s convinced he doesn’t need it even though nothing else he does substantially helps him. I support people managing their ADHD without therapy and without medication, as some people genuinely don’t need either to drastically improve their lives, but considering how severely he’s struggling and how long he’s been trying to change his life without any assistance, myself among other people think it is time for him to pivot and try something new.

His procrastination is off the charts. For perspective, there’s an important exam he’s been needing to study for since last year and he hasn’t studied for it at all… and the exam is happening next month. It will determine if he can move up in his career and get a pay raise. He’s super stressed about not making enough money, and his job has already cut his hours due to his procrastination at work, yet he’s still not studying for this exam.

He tells me that he needs more alone time to get things done (which includes more alone time when we are physically apart), but there’s been countless times that I purposefully don’t call him or put off seeing him for the sake of giving him the space to do what he needs to do since me being physically around him is too much of a distraction even if I leave him alone, and it frustrates me and hurts me how often he won’t utilize that time wisely, especially when we already don’t get to see each other to the extent that we want to due to the distance.

During this additional alone time, he typically only gets a little bit done, gets nothing done at all, and/or he’ll choose to spend time with family and friends. It makes giving him more alone time feel pointless cause literally the only reason I do that is for him to be productive. I’m not saying he shouldn’t spend time with other people, but he needs to prioritize his responsibilities more, and he needs to schedule time with his loved ones during our original agreed upon time apart instead of spontaneously socializing to further avoid his responsibilities during the additional time apart that is meant for him to get shit done.

So when we do see each other, our time together is often negatively impacted by the fact that he procrastinated when we were away from each other. He’ll be stressed, moody, and/or overthinking and unable to fully enjoy himself with me because of what he didn’t get done. Of course, not always (hence why I said “often), but this happens way more than it should and can be prevented if he makes different choices.

I have two important exams myself next week, and I’m so mentally and emotionally affected by this specific issue that it’s making it difficult for me to focus on studying today. I’ve already studied a lot, but I need to continue studying up until my exams to ensure I pass.

she said she won’t talk to me until i do something which will make her very happy.
we are in a long distance so without communicating i don’t know what we can do
i sent her food yesterday
i started writing long paragraphs on how much i appreciate her and how much i love her.
what else can i do can you guys help me out.
Thank you.

(Me 39 F) (M 35)
So we finally met, after talking for a year and never meeting we had only face time calls, and texting pretty much every day.
When he first pulled up he seemed very nervous. And he kept smiling saying “is that really you i cant believe it☺️”.
From my pov i thought it was going to be this great thing, lots of hugs and kisses etc since we’ve been official since like the first day we met online. I had to ask for a hug. Mind you I’m in a different country. I moved from America to a place in Europe. Although where I’m at it’s still 5h from where he works. Initially i was moving here and we decided what days would be best for him to take off to see me. However his family lives in this town. So I’m splitting time with them. He stays with them a few days and then comes to see me.

He has a drinking problem and seem to be less shy when drinking. It’s been 5 days and we have only had sex 1 day which was the first day we met.(and he was drinking). I asked this morning why we haven’t had sex, which is kind of a big deal for me, he said he’s waiting on me to initiate. When i have told him I’m not good at initiating. And before we met, he’s always told me that’s nothing i will have to worry about cause he’s got it 😂. BUT in reality, it seems like he doesn’t. Our connection just seemed so much stronger online. He’s actually shocked how petite i am when I’ve told him how small i was in stats. And i do social media so it’s pretty visible. When he left this morning i mentioned he didn’t even kiss me goodbye before he went to his mothers. He texted me back with “😘”. lol i don’t know if i should break up or not. He seems very socially awkward. Which is fine for me. But i don’t know how to handle that. Im at the point in my life, do you like me or not? If not tell me. We had a deep talk last night and i asked how will we handle the distance etc. and he said he’s ok with it and he likes me. But for me sex is super important to me. If we don’t have that when we meet up, we have nothing. When i was in the states we hardly let 30 min go by when we were communicating now that hes here sometimes it will be hours before he text me. And im not the type of person to just keep texting. If i dont get a text, im not texting. Anyway i just dont know what to do or just tell him im not feeling this.

My boyfriend and have been dating for 2 years and we have been long distance for 1.5 years. In the past 1.5 years, we saw each other once last October. We’re meeting soon and then I’m also planning to fly out to see him more now that I saved money.

We had a conversation about him being really sex deprived. He had been saying it every so often but this time he came to me asking for help or suggestions. He basically told me he’s overly horny, he’s not going to be okay, and his hormones are going out of control.

I get it because we haven’t done it in genuinely a year. But he mentioned seeing a prostitute “jokingly” and then said “but i guess not because you’d hate me forever” and didn’t give any other solution besides that. He’s been acting weird lately…

1. He’s been asking me what I would do if he cheated on me, and then told me to forgive him if I ever did. I never even mention cheating on him bc I know I won’t
2. He’s been messaging random girls on discord to be friends. Originally he told me that girls and guys can’t be friends and so I purposely don’t respond to guys in my college trying to text me, even if they are super innocent texts that are from guys I have mutual friends with. He showed me his messages with one girl because I was curious. She genuinely sends him selfies and then they have these super long back and forth texting conversations. She wanted to call him last midnight to watch him screen-share a game 💀

He said no though since he was about to sleep. But

1. he keeps texting her even though he says she probably likes him. She lives in the same city as him too :/.
2. He has this kink that I told him I’m not comfortable doing. So he mentioned (maybe as a joke???) wanting to have sex with another girl to do it with instead. But says he doesn’t want to hurt me.

And then that in combination with him saying he’s needs to have sex. Like he’s needs to fuck and fulfill his physical needs. Although he told me “I don’t want to fuck whores”. He also thinks I’m being confusing when I say that I’m going to break up with him if he fucks someone else and also say that it’s his choice to make though if he wants to hook up with other people. (If he’s going to want to cheat I rather it happen sooner than later).

I just feel very doubtful right now. I genuinely don’t trust him well and we are seeing eachother so soon so I want to feel better but I just haven’t the last 5 days. Additionally, he told me that I come to him when I’m sad too much that it looks like I’m seeking attention. And it reminds him of the boy who cried wolf. So i don’t feel comfortable telling him how much this hurts me. I just feel disrespected that he even believes these things and feels the desire to talk or fuck other girls. I know he values a relationship with me but still feel bitter.

What can I do to make this relationship better? I’m already planning to see him more often but he brought this up genuinely a few days before meeting me.

My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 3 years. Whenever we have an argument or a problem, instead of talking things through and fixing it together, he disappears and stops communicating with me.

The longest he has gone without talking to me was 2 and a half months. After that, he comes back as if nothing happened, and somehow we continue the relationship. He even promised me that he would never do it again, but when we had another problem, he did exactly the same thing and disappeared again.

I’m emotionally exhausted because I feel like I’m the only one willing to communicate and work through our problems. I understand that people sometimes need space after an argument, but I don’t think disappearing for weeks or months without any explanation is healthy, especially in a long-distance relationship where communication is so important.

What makes it harder is that he keeps promising to change, but his actions never seem to match his words.

For those who have experienced something similar, what did you do? Should I give him another chance, or is this a sign that I need to walk away? How do you stop holding on to someone you love when they keep repeating the same behavior despite promising to change?

I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been in long-term LDRs or dealt with a partner who repeatedly disappears during conflicts.

My boyfriend (28) and I (23) have been in a long-distance relationship for almost a year. Because of the distance, we FaceTime every moment we can, often for hours at a time. We’re very comfortable with each other, share pretty much everything, and have a very close and deep bond. He often tells me how much he loves me and we have a strong bond.
However, there’s something that has been bothering me for a while, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting.
He followed over 1,600 people on Instagram. A couple of months into our relationship, I noticed that he followed dozens of “spicy” accounts. I was shocked and asked him why he was following those kinds of accounts. He explained that he had followed them when he was single and that he isnt really active in insta nowadays, so he hadn’t really thought about it.
I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with him following those accounts. A couple of days later, I noticed that the number of people he followed had gone down a lot, so I assumed he had unfollowed them. However, a few weeks later, I got curious and checked his following list again. I discovered that he was still following 20+ spicy accounts.
When I confronted him about it, he said that following over 1,600 people meant he had a lot of accounts to go through and he didnt really say much more. A few days later, I noticed that his following count had decreased again, so i assumed he had taken care of it. That was months ago.
Fast-forward to a couple of days ago. Because I only follow around 30 people on Instagram, I sometimes see posts on my feed that people I follow have liked. While scrolling, I came across a slide post from a verified actress that had been posted a few days earlier. She was wearing quite revealing, somewhat see-through clothing, and my boyfriend had liked the post. I saw that he also follows her. I looked at her profile and saw that most of her content consists of revealing pictures, often showing off her body ect. Seeing that he had liked her post genuinely upset me.
After that, I decided to look through his following list again. I discovered that he still follows more than 10 spicy accounts, despite our previous conversation. On top of that, he follows quite a few female actresses, athletes, influencers, and streamers.
To be clear, I have no problem with my boyfriend following women. My issue is specifically with women whose content mainly revolves around showing off their bodies, posting revealing pictures, or having their breasts and cleavage on display in almost every other post.
What bothers me even more is that I noticed he has liked multiple recent pictures of women posing in revealing outfits, bikinis, tight dresses, or tops that show a lot of cleavage. Most of the posts had been uploaded quite recently.
I keep wondering why a man who is in a committed relationship feels the need to follow these kinds of accounts and actively like their revealing pictures.
I also find it difficult to understand why he would continue doing this after I had already told him that it made me uncomfortable. I’m not sure whether he genuinely forgot to unfollow some of these accounts, whether he doesn’t see anything wrong with liking these pictures, or whether we simply have different views on what is appropriate when you’re in a relationship.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days, and I’m starting to question whether I’m making too big a deal out of it. I don’t want to come across as jealous, controlling, or insecure, and I definitely don’t want to be the girlfriend who tells her boyfriend what he can and cannot do. At the same time, I don’t think I should have to pretend that something doesn’t bother me just to avoid looking unreasonable.
Part of me wants to bring it up with him again, especially because we’ve already discussed this before. But another part of me worries that he’ll think I’m crazy for looking through his following list and noticing the posts he likes. Let me know your opinion. Thanks for reading!

I love my gf but the relationship has become toxic. Its harmful for both no matter what i try. My gf needs alot of attention from me that i cant give which in turn makes her think i dont love her. I need my personal space and i have explained it but she wants to talk for atleast 3-4 hours everyday more if possible. It feels like i am in a cage. But i love talking to her for atmost 30 minutes daily. But she needs more attention.without it she basically gets mad and ends in a brkup and then patch up and brkup and patchup. After every brkup she will talk to other guys just to hurt or make me jealous….nothing serious just casual…she also sometimes open bumble to make me jealous…i know she wouldnt cheat on me (she is obsessed with me)but she does hurt me like this caz she knows i hate when she talks to guys even any casual interaction. No male interaction was just some boundaries i set which i constantly brk by patching up with her caz i love her. But its getting hard. I just dont know if i should brkup with her for good..i love her positive parts so much but i also dont like parts of her.. nobody is perfect…but i just don’t underestand what to do? And i also dont know if she is as obsessed and in love as she acts…she seems like she wants to talk to me forever but also talks to other guys when we brkup to make me feel jealous…maybe there is some part of attention craving from other guys too but she does love and care about me…she keeps random guys in her following list and some of them are also from bumble

My boyfriend “Grant” (28m) has been in the military the past 6 years. I (28f) have known him since we were 8 because he was my brother’s best friend growing up.

I’ve had a crush on him since we met and he started having a crush on me in high school. Long story short (I’ll just skip with the details) we’ve been in a relationship the past 3 years and I am so happy he’s coming home for good!

I am so excited to see him! He’s driving home so he can have his car and it’ll be a 2 day trip. I have a random question though.

I will be at his family’s house with them waiting for him when he comes home and when he comes out of his car, should I let his mom hug him first or could I be the one to hug him first?

I don’t know the etiquette if there even is one. He’s got a younger sister too that I’m sure wants to run and hug him but I hate to be hugged last😅

His family knows that we are planning on getting married and we’re gonna look for rings while he’s home, so it’s not that this isn’t a serious relationship.

What should I do?

Im sure everyones dealt with this before but I just need to get this out there.

I(M19) have known my gf(F19) about a decade. Weve been friends for so long and about Sophmore year she moved away. We later reconnected online and started talking and calling. We met online and found out we live in the same place when we were kids so playing games agajn just like old times was great. Eventually we grew feelings and now have been in an ldr for a year and a half. Ive met her entire family and they all approve of me. But my parents strongly dissaprove. Ive jsut had an argument with my mother until my nose bled and have been sobbing for an hour because Im tired. They always send me stuff trying to make it seem like my gfs untrustworthy. My mother today told me directly long distance doesnt work out. And that words are just words like I love you and I care about you. Shes always telling me things trying to get me to overthink my relationship which doesnt ever work. My girlfriend and Is plans are that we marry and move within 2 years. My parents dont know this and theyre doing everything in their power to try to convince me to break up with her. They wont let her visit, they wont let me fly and visit her, they wont even let her come to holidays with the family. Im miserable and dont know what I should do.

My boyfriend (31M) and I (29F) have been together for around 7 months in a long-distance relationship. We live in different cities and haven’t met in person yet. He recently asked me to travel to him soon when he’s available instead of him coming to me.
2 weeks ago, he posted a screenshot of an engagement ring on his WhatsApp status, but deleted it shortly afterwards.
The ring wasn’t even the colour I like, which made me wonder whether I was wrong to assume it could have anything to do with me in the first place.
For context, he has spoken about marriage before, so seeing the ring caught my attention. However, our relationship has also had issues and I sometimes feel uncertain about where I stand with him.
Now I’m wondering why he would post an engagement ring and then remove it. Was he simply browsing? Was it meant for someone else? Was he trying to hint at something? Or could it have absolutely nothing to do with our relationship?
I know I can’t draw conclusions from one WhatsApp status, but given the uncertainty I’ve already experienced in this relationship, it’s bothering me more than I’d like to admit.
I haven’t asked him about it…it’s already been weeks
Am I overthinking this, or would you be concerned too? How would you approach this situation? I’d appreciate honest opinions.

Being in long distance is no new me. My dad always been working overseas, and I only get to see him for like a month long in a year. I found little details before that my dad might have been talking to other women while being away from us, but i never confronted him (due to lack of evidence) and i never talked to any family member about it.

Now having an actual long distance rs makes me feel fear sometimes that no matter how great this love and care I have for him, someone out there who is near to him and can give the same thing. Tho I really trust him a lot. I would doubt him in some days, but the time and attention he is giving always says I shouldn’t be.

I probably have deep rooted insecurities that I’m still trying to unlearn. My past relationship ended over a third party, and it wasn’t even long distance. Then here goes the thing with my dad… so it really gets to me sometimes.

How do you manage from it?

Hi everyone! I'm 21F, currently an international student in Canada, and I'm expected to graduate in 2027. I've been living here for a few years now, and my long-term plan has always been to finish my degree, gain Canadian work experience, apply for permanent residency, eventually obtain citizenship, and pursue a master's degree here. My parents have invested a lot into my education, and I genuinely want to make the most of the opportunities I've been given.

The thing is, I've met someone who lives back home, and we've developed a really special connection. He's also an international student in another country, but he'll be returning home much sooner than I will. We both genuinely see a future with each other, and he's honestly one of the kindest, most loving, and thoughtful people I've ever met. He treats me incredibly well, makes me feel loved and appreciated, and I genuinely believe he's worth putting in the effort for.

However, we've been trying to figure out how we could realistically make this work because, with my education and immigration plans, we could potentially be looking at another 5–6 years of long distance before we can permanently close the distance.

He's expressed concerns about what that would mean for us emotionally. It's not that he doesn't believe we could do long distance, but he's worried about all the little things we'd miss out on together. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, career milestones, celebrations, and even something as simple as being able to hug each other after a difficult day. He's also worried that, over time, constantly missing each other and being unable to share those experiences might turn into frustration or resentment, even unintentionally, and he doesn't want either of us to end up hurting the other because of circumstances beyond our control. I completely understand where he's coming from, and honestly, those concerns scare me too.

To make things a little more complicated, I intend to pursue a thesis-based master's degree in Canada, which means I won't necessarily have the same scheduled holidays or flexibility that students in course-based programs might have. My research commitments and time off would largely depend on my supervisor and the nature of my project. I'm trying to figure out how to make visits possible, whether that means spending longer periods together during certain months, visiting during approved time off, or potentially finding remote work in my field that would give me some flexibility while still meeting my Canadian immigration requirements.

I don't want to give up on my education or the future I've been working toward, but I also don't want to give up on someone I genuinely see myself spending my life with. And I don't want him to feel like he's constantly waiting for me while life passes us by. I want us both to feel loved, supported, and fulfilled even while we're apart.

I know six years is a very long time, especially when we're both still young and trying to build our careers. But I genuinely believe this relationship is worth trying for, and I want to explore every realistic possibility before deciding that the distance is too much.

So, for couples who have successfully navigated long-distance relationships for several years, especially those who had very limited opportunities to see each other, how did you make it work? How often did you manage to meet? How did you handle missing important milestones, the lack of physical affection, and the fear of eventually growing resentful of the distance? Were there any routines, boundaries, or compromises that genuinely helped?

I'd especially love to hear from people who were international students, pursuing demanding degrees, or living in different countries with complicated immigration situations.

I'm not looking for people to tell me to abandon my education or for him to simply suck it up and wait. I want advice on how we can make this work together, without either of us feeling like we're sacrificing our happiness or future.

TL;DR: I'm 21F, an international student in Canada, and the person I see a future with is also studying abroad but will return home much sooner than I will. Because of my education, thesis-based master's, and Canadian PR/citizenship plans, we might have another 5–6 years of long distance ahead of us with limited opportunities to meet. We both care deeply about each other, but he's understandably worried about missing important moments and eventually resenting the distance. I genuinely think he's worth the effort, and I'm looking for advice from couples who've successfully made long distance work for several years. How did you manage the limited visits, emotional challenges, and uncertainty while working toward eventually being together?How do you make a long-distance relationship work when you know you might have to wait another 5–6 years to finally be together? (21F)

Hello world

Long story short:

I (F32) fell in love with a girl (F31) a few months ago and we’ve had a beautiful romance since then. We can see a future together. Problem is she had to move overseas and we are now living apart for at least some years. We’re not monogamous but she’s in a big city where she has way more options than me and I’m scared that there’s gonna be a huge imbalance where she dates a lot and has lots of hook ups and I don’t. I feel insecure and jealous but I am really in love with her. How do you deal with this?

Hello! We’ve been in a long-distance relationship (LDR) for 11 months. My boyfriend is asking for space because he wants to focus on his career and figure things out. I get upset when he disappears for hours without updating me. Have you ever experienced something like this? Do you think they usually come back, or do they not? Or is asking for space just an indirect way of breaking up? 🥺