I’m from Russia, she’s from Ukraine. We met thousands of miles away from home, here in the USA. And somehow in the middle of all this madness, we found each other on fckin Bumble 🤦‍♂️😅 I hope our story reminds you that you can always find your person ❤️

Moved in together after 1 yr of long distance.
Engaged on Christmas Eve.
Married in May. 🥰

I (27M) met my girlfriend (23F) online at the beginning of July, and I genuinely think I’ve never fallen for someone this hard in my entire life.

It was one of those connections that just happened naturally. We clicked almost instantly, and before we knew it, we were spending pretty much every waking moment together.

And when I say every moment, I mean it.

We spent the entire summer on Discord calls, sometimes 10, 12, even 15 hours a day. We’d wake up together, spend the whole day talking, laughing, playing games, watching movies, doing absolutely nothing together, and eventually fall asleep on call.

We’d literally sleep together on Discord and wake up still connected.

Looking back, I genuinely think I spent about a month and a half of those two months on the phone with her. It sounds insane, but it never felt like too much. We just couldn’t get enough of each other.

Then September came.

She’s currently in university, and her studies are incredibly demanding. I’m working, doing different jobs here and there, so our schedules and responsibilities are completely different.

And suddenly, we went from spending our entire lives together to sometimes barely having 30 minutes to talk before bed.

I’m not gonna lie, that transition has been hard for me.

I miss the random conversations, the hours of laughing over absolutely nothing, hearing her voice throughout the day, and just having her around.

It’s been almost two months now, and I’m still getting used to it.

But something I’ve realized is that loving someone isn’t just about how much time you spend together. It’s also about what you do with the little time you have.

We still make time for each other whenever we can. Sometimes it’s just a short call at night, telling each other about our days before falling asleep. And honestly, those 30 minutes have become some of the most precious moments of my day.

We’ve also started finding little ways to make the distance feel smaller.

For example, I recently had flowers delivered to her, just because I wanted her to smile.

We’re also preparing surprise packages for each other. We’ve both been secretly ordering little gifts, and we’re going to exchange boxes full of things that remind us of one another.

I got her a few books about vintage fashion because she’s really into it, a Michael Jackson vinyl because we both absolutely love his music, and a little music box that plays Married Life from the movie Up.

That last one is particularly special to me.

We watched Up together, and at some point, we talked about how beautiful it would be to play that song at our wedding someday.

So I thought it’d be cute to give her a little piece of that dream already.

It’s such a small thing, but to me, it means everything.

And I think that’s what I’ve learned from being in a long-distance relationship. Sometimes, the smallest gestures carry the biggest feelings.

A surprise delivery, a random message reminding them you love them, watching a movie together, finding ways to be intimate despite the distance, or simply staying on call until one of you falls asleep.

None of it replaces actually being able to hold the person you love, obviously.

But it makes the waiting a little easier.

We’re finally going to meet in person in January.

And I genuinely cannot put into words how excited I am.

Sometimes I catch myself imagining the smallest things. Seeing her standing in front of me for the first time, hearing her laugh without a microphone between us, holding her hand, hugging her, or simply sitting next to her without having to stare at a screen.

Things that most couples probably take for granted.

Things I’ve been dreaming about for months.

Of course, there’s a little nervousness too. We’ve shared so much of our lives already, yet we still haven’t physically met.

But I know how I feel about her, and I know she loves me too.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I know that I want her to be part of mine.

I didn’t really write this post to ask for advice or complain about the distance.

I just wanted to share a little piece of our story with people who might understand what it’s like to love someone you can’t physically be with yet.

Long-distance relationships can be frustrating, lonely, and emotionally exhausting sometimes.

But they can also be incredibly beautiful.

They teach you patience, communication, trust, and how to appreciate things that might otherwise seem insignificant.

And despite how much I miss her, I’d rather have 30 minutes a day with her than an entire lifetime with someone else.

I’m completely, ridiculously in love with this girl.

And I really hope January is just the beginning of a very long adventure together.

To anyone else counting down the days until they can finally hold their person: I hope the wait is worth it for all of us.

Hey guys, apologise if this is written poorly, I am in such a mess right now. There is a TLDR at the bottom.

I (26M) met my now ex girlfriend (22F) on a language learning app whilst I was on a 6 month backpacking trip. Things developed quickly and we started talking everyday and it appeared as feelings were developing mutually between us.

She asked me if I could go visit her after two months of speaking, I felt this was soon, but as I was already travelling around Asia and I felt my trip was coming to a natural end, I agreed. She also asked me to be exclusive at the same time, to which I also agreed, she said she would stop speaking to anybody she had romantic interest in the past and for me to do the same, fair enough.

We met and spent 10 days together and we both agreed it felt amazing, I asked her to be my girlfriend officially, she said yes and she expressed how happy she felt. Tragically, during this visit to her, my dad who was only young unexpectedly passed away so I returned to my home, the UK, sooner than expected. We agreed to be long distance and that we will wait for eachother and see eachother again shortly.

We spent roughly 60 days long distance, and this is where the problems started. When we first met online the texts were super frequent and enthusiastic, this had stopped. I believe it’s natural for things to die down a little so I eventually accepted it although it caused a lot of arguments and uncertainty between us.

I am now currently in her country, in her apartment. I’ve been here for just over two weeks, the first few days felt really exciting and then gradually, it felt I was a burden to her and I didn’t feel loved, okay, I thought, living with somebody else is a big adjustment so I gave her time. But then I did something stupid and insecure.

Three days ago, she was sleeping and I went on her phone. Yes, I’m not proud, I realise it’s an invasion of privacy and a violation of trust, but I don’t regret it. I found saved messages of conversations between her and ChatGPT three days before I flew here on this occasion. They stated she “felt forced to stay with somebody they don’t love” she “often doesn’t feel any love at all” and “she’s worried she doesn’t even feel any love at all, maybe she just values me as a person”. This hurt to find out after feeling so unwanted and unloved for the 60 days of long distance. But then I scrolled further.
I found messages of her comparing me to a guy she was obsessed and infactuated with for the last nine months, a guy from the USA. She claimed I was uninteresting compared to him, she doesn’t feel the same connection, she’s upset our conversations aren’t the same as her and that she’s really struggling to get over this guy. While she is exclusive with me. I also found out, after she asked us to be exclusive, she video called and texted this guy and deleted the evidence, after we agreed to not communicate with anyone we were romantically invested in which was also her idea.

So that was three days ago, and I’ve tried my hardest to forgive her and we’ve tried living normally. She seems really remorseful, upset, she claims she wants to try and she wants a future with me, she won’t doubt her feelings again and she will stay loyal to me. But then today I found something truly heartbreaking.
I was looking in her note app, which she asked me to do, to find something for her. I came across a long letter about the previous guy again, so I read it. She was listing all the great qualities of this guy before me. After writing a huge paragraph of all of the precious guys admirable qualities, she wrote this about me;
“So, I decided to try an app and met a guy from the UK. We really hit it off—he likes me a lot, and I feel the same way about him. He's kind, responsible, understanding, and truly caring-it's clear he has genuine feelings for me. He's planning to visit my country again soon; he's been traveling the world, and he decided to return to Central Asia specifically for me. With him, I don't feel like I have to remake myself; it's as if l've known him for a hundred years. He's even said that I'm worth the effort.
You know how it is-for me, there's really only one way to move abroad right now...” Before she wrote this she wrote about how she’s in a transitional period in her life and that she wants to leave her country to pursue the same opportunities others get in the western world, maybe she only wanted the previous guy for his passport too?

At first, maybe it seems a nice message, but the last sentence is especially troubling for me. I brought it up to her. She admitted that at first my passport was one of the most attractive things about me. She admitted when I asked her to be my girlfriend, she thought about the opportunities she would get from my citizenship. But now she claims it’s different, that she’s truly fell in love with me and she feels so guilty for ever thinking like that. Apparently she doesn’t even want my passport, I can move here with her, she just wants us to work out. I don’t believe her. I broke up with her there and then. I’ve constantly felt anxious and insecure in this relationship, I’ve given her everything I had even with my family circumstances and I feel cheated and lied to. I look back at every happy moment we had like it was an obligation of hers for a better life in a western country.

I’ve probably missed a lot of context out, I found a lot more hurtful things about me written on her phone, such as I’m not even her type and I’m uninteresting, and that every other guy before me she felt obsessed with and infatuated but with me she doesn’t, she’s just calm. I didn’t want this post to turn into a list or an essay, so I’ve written what I thought was most relevant. I guess I wanted people’s advice from the outside, because a small part of me wants to stay here with her and try to work things out, she still wants it also. Would I be stupid? Is what she has done unacceptable? The thought of never seeing her again and deleting all our photos and the future I imagined with her no longer existing is really painful. If you’ve read this far I’m really grateful and I appreciate any replies and advice.

TLDR : my LDR gf has written messages which has led me to believe she’s not been truly faithful to our relationship, her feelings were never genuine for me, she’s never felt true attraction or desire for me and initially met me for the prospects of my passport

With all the unfortunate negativity in this sub, I thought it might be nice to make a post about how much I appriciate my other half despite the gap between us.

Let me start of by saying I was NEVER someone who thought I’d be okay with the idea of long distance - I figured no matter the person I’d always needs consistent intimacy and in person time together to maintain and connection / relationship . This girl has genuinely changed that for me because I don’t want anybody else and I’d be willing to wait so long for her until we can figure something out, going on trips together in the meantime…

After we first met when I flew over to Canada I left feeling rather unsure about doing the distance thing because it hit me like an absolute truck how tragic it was that she wasn’t next to me anymore after spending 3 weeks glued to each other. Then we went to Thailand not long after and I saw she was someone capable of genuine change and growth and along with the extra time we spent together and getting to know each other even better, I ended up falling for her even harder… and I really tried to give the LDR thing a go after that trip.

We were on and off for a while afterwards because of confusion about life decisions and when we’d be able to see each other again , but recently we came SO CLOSE to losing each other forever which has ironically pulled us even closer together. I’m now at a stage where the distance between us does not bother or concern me AT ALL because I have so much love and affection for her, a feeling that is mutual, and we both want to try and make something work out no matter what. We genuinely would move mountains for each other which gives me so much hope for the future.

She’s coming to visit Australia for the first time soon guys and I love her so much, more than anybody I’ve ever known and I really can’t imagine being with anybody else which is why the distance really just does not concern me anymore. I know that eventually our hearts will pull us together one day :)

I hope this post can motivate couples and encourage them to give things time to work out if they are unsure about the distance. It’s ultimately a tough situation but if you are really sure about the other person then the distance should never be a deciding factor.

If anyone is spending Christmas apart like us, I’ve been putting together a little list of things we could do to make it feel like we’re spending some of it together. Thought I’d share it here in case anyone else is looking for ideas.

Christmas movie night
Pick a Christmas movie, get some snacks, and watch it while on a call. Teleparty lets you sync playback. I like the idea of getting the same snacks so it feels a bit more like an actual movie night together or recommending a snack/drink to the other person.

Playing something together
We’ve been playing Sledding Game quite a bit recently, so we’ll probably spend some time on that. Other ideas is doing a snow world in Minecraft or starting a farm in Stardew Valley. There’s also Board Game Arena and board game simulator if you’re more into board games.

Sending a postcard
My idea is to have pictures from my fav memories of us together with a nice note maybe about what I’m looking forward to doing together next year. Just check delivery times if you want it there before Christmas. You could make one yourself or look at MangoPostal, Canva, or MyPostcard. my S/O in Canada, which is why I use MangoPostal as a Canadian option.

Trying to bake the same thing
Find a recipe and make it at the same time on a video call. This is already a thing ppl do a lot but I find it fun so in case you didn't hear about it here you go lol. I’ve put these Christmas sugar cookies on the list.

Taking each other out to see Christmas lights
I thought it could be nice to go for a walk and bring the other person along on a video call to see the lights around our neighborhoods.

We probably won’t get through all of these, but it helps having a few things to look forward to. Enjoy your Holidays!

so basically we are in a relationship for 5 months approx but after the first month we part away to a ldr.. now
even its working perfectly as like a proper relationship with love,fights,intimacy and all the stuffs but we never officially called it as RELATIONSHIP but we are in
ik perfectly that he is not cheating on me atm and he sees me seriously
during this 4 months ldr about 2k km distance.. he came visited and spent with me for a week when i said him that i miss him
and now ik that he left his job and now he is broke partially atp and yesterday when i said him that i miss him and asked to visit me at my place he said bout his condition still he is willing to come asap…
😭
is he a green forest or what

Me and my ld boyfriend have been together over a year now. The first visit has always been something that’s been ‘one day’ and now it’s getting to the point of planning something for this year. I have bad anxiety as it is but the thought of meeting is terrifying. I think things such as ‘what if he thinks I’m ugly in person’ ‘what if the language barrier ruins things’.

How did you all overcome this nervousness? I am so excited to move things into in person but I am also terrified!

My 2 year anniversary with my GF is coming up in about two months, and I am considering ending things soon.

We initially met at university, where we were together for 6 months straight. Then, I transferred to another university as part of my degree plan. We thought we could manage the distance.

We are both at separate universities, many hours apart with very few chances to see each other. Every time, I’m always the one going the distance and spending large sums of money to see her. Currently, I feel financially stretched to keep making arrangements to visit. Likewise, these meetings are very few and far between (3-4) months at a time. Said meetings are maybe only 2-3 days long at most.

Our relationship has been entirely online otherwise, (phone calls, video, etc) and we basically never get intimacy unless physically together.

In recent months, I’ve been considering breaking things off, but I feel morally unable to do so.

My GF is very emotionally reliant on me, as she has a troubled personal life. We’ve made some idea of eventually living together, but those plans can’t come into fruition for almost a year and a half from now, and I’m desperately lonely. I don’t really know if I’m even ready to accommodate so much change, and I’m beginning to feel exhausted hearing about her constant personal struggles.

I don’t know what to do. I feel trapped. I still love her, but I want to put myself first. I can’t bear the weight of all the problems she brings but I also don’t know how to feel about breaking her heart by asking to leave. I know we’re both young, but she asked for marriage within a few months, which honestly scared me. I feel she is almost too reliant on me, which makes this weight in my chest heavier.

What do I do?

TLDR: Considering breaking up with LDR GF of 2 years, but feel conflicted because she has a lot of emotional baggage and attachment to me. Not sure if I want the weight of distanced relationship atm.

I’m 19M her 22F, and I’m in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend. I love her more than I can explain, and our relationship means a lot to me.

Lately, though, I’ve been struggling with something that is becoming emotionally exhausting.

For the past few days, I’ve been feeling extremely anxious about our relationship. I’ve noticed that my girlfriend seems a little less affectionate than usual. She still talks to me, tells me she loves me, calls me when she can, and shows me affection, but I’ve been missing those little spontaneous moments of sweetness that usually make me feel close to her.

I talked to her about it, and she reassured me that she isn’t falling out of love with me. She explained that she’s been dealing with a lot lately, including classes, family problems, and general exhaustion. She also told me that sometimes she needs time alone and can’t always be available like we used to be.
I understand that. I really do. I don’t expect her to spend every waking moment with me, and I don’t want her to feel pressured to give me attention constantly.

The problem is that, even when she reassures me and shows me affection, I struggle to feel okay. For example, this morning she kissed me, playfully teased me, told me she loved me, and was affectionate before leaving for class. It was a genuinely sweet moment, but my anxiety didn’t go away.
Instead, I keep thinking things like: What if she’s losing feelings for me? What if she gets tired of me? What if she eventually finds someone else? What if something has changed and I’m just not seeing it yet?

I know these thoughts might not reflect reality. In fact, I genuinely believe that 80–90% of this problem might be my own anxiety making everything feel much worse than it actually is. But knowing that intellectually doesn’t seem to make the feelings go away.
What’s especially confusing is that I don’t remember feeling this intensely insecure a few weeks or months ago. Something seems to have changed recently, and now I feel like I’m constantly looking for signs that something is wrong.

I’ve also been struggling with anxiety for a long time, and I take medication for it, although I’ve been inconsistent with taking my daily medication because I keep forgetting. Recently, I’ve felt so emotionally exhausted that I slept through practically an entire day and still woke up feeling anxious and unable to do much.
I should also mention that we’ve had some difficult conversations in the past, particularly about my health and exercise. Sometimes I’ve felt pressured by those conversations, and I wonder whether that history contributes to my fear of disappointing her or not being good enough for her.

I don’t want to make her responsible for my anxiety. I know she has her own life, responsibilities, and feelings.
At the same time, I don’t want to dismiss every feeling I have as irrational anxiety if there are genuine issues I need to address.

\*\*So, for people who have experienced anxious attachment or something similar:\*\*
How do you distinguish between anxiety making you imagine the worst and actually noticing a change in your relationship?

How do you learn to feel secure when your partner is less available or affectionate than usual?
How do you stop needing reassurance to feel okay, even when your partner is already showing you love?

And how do you cope with the physical exhaustion that comes from feeling anxious about your relationship for days?

I love my girlfriend more than anything in this world, and I want us to be okay. But I also want to be okay within myself, instead of feeling like my entire emotional state depends on whether I think everything is fine between us.
I’d genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been through something similar.

My fiancée and I have been long distance for a while now. When we started dating, she could have visited me in the US pretty easily, but visa policy changes over the last couple of years mean she can’t come here right now, and now I've had to move back for work. We’re working on a plan to live together again, but in the meantime I want something that feels like actually sharing a space, not just talking.

We do video calls and watch shows together, and those are great, but I want something where we’re doing something together. Gaming feels like it could be that. We both were casual gamers as kids. She loves Pokémon. I haven’t really played since I was about 10 because music took over, so this would be a fresh start for me too.

I’m leaning toward getting us both a Nintendo Switch 2. It’s handheld, has lots of co-op, and she can play Pokémon on it. We thought about PC gaming, but I’m on a Mac and she’s on Windows, and I like having something separate from my laptop.

I’d get Nintendo’s online service so we can voice chat while we play and race each other in Mario Kart. What I like is that it gives us options: games we play together, and games we each play on our own and can talk about.

Two Switch 2s would be about $1,000 just for the consoles, before any games, so I’m reaching out to see if there’s something better before I commit.

For those who’ve done this:

• Did gaming together actually make you feel closer?
• What games or setups worked for you? Cozy games, co-op adventures, anything that felt like hanging out?
• Any shared-space ideas beyond gaming that worked for you?

I’m also asking in a couple of gaming subs about the tech side, but I wanted to hear from people who understand the long-distance part. Thanks.

Has anyone played any co-op games that are available on steam that they would recommend for a long distance couple? Doesn't need to be free, but preferably ones that can also be played on IOS and Windows 🙏.

We met through a singles' dating group for people who don't want kids. He posted a sweet bio, and super bonus that he and I have plans to relocate to the same area on the same timeline. I DM him, figuring he might just be like "oh cool let's get together when we're both there"

I WAS WRONG.

We've texted daily for 3+ months and video called every few weeks. Our situation: turns out we grew up within an hour of each other. Our parents both moved several hours away... To more or less the same spot. 1) small fricking world and 2) cool - we have neutral ground if we want to meet! However, he moved west and I moved east and we currently live 10 time zones apart.

We're getting to know each other on a friendship basis first and don't want to decide on anything further before meeting (of course, this was only clarified on his end after he was quite flirty with me and got me a little riled up, but anyway...)

We discussed meeting over the holidays, when we'd both be visiting family. Neither of us could confirm dates yet, but I understood we'd be meeting if our dates overlapped.

And they do, quite a bit, but he just told me he won't even be in the area. Seeing friends and family elsewhere. Nothing but a sad emoji to express any sadness over it. No explanation. I don't expect him to prioritize me over his best friend and his family, but he also seems to be seeing someone, idk who, in another part of the country, which was never mentioned before and I suspect was a decision made after we'd talked. (Idc if it's another woman or some random friend, the point is, I've been deprioritized and Idk why).

I feel led on. I feel played with or at the very least not considered. So I told him it had been clear to me we were going to try to meet up, that Idk what changed but this doesn't feel good to me and that I needed time to think.

He then proposed 2 days where he'd be free to meet, which is confusing af because he literally just said he wouldn't even be in the area and the specific timeline he shared basically makes a visit to where I'll be impossible. Still no explanation for the change in plans or acknowledgement of how cancelling might have made me feel, or expression of any real regret, even a little defensiveness, which makes me think he's offering just because I got mad. That he doesn't really value meeting. I'm not looking to associate with people who meet me out of a sense of duty or just because I got upset. I deserve to be with people who are excited about me.

I have a long ass message sitting in my phone that I'll send when I'm less fired up and have the mental space to deal with difficult stuff. It'll maybe end things but if this is how it's going to be, where I have to beg for his interest / effort, it's better that way.

Hey I'm a 21M and I met this 25 year old girl on hinge 2 weeks ago. It's a long distance thing we've done a few phone calls and everything was going really well, but she randomly called me tonight drunk. She told me she wanted to fuck me. And how I would feel about that She had a friend with her too, and they were asking if I had a friend with me for her friend. I kept the flirty energy alive but told her I don't think she would keep this energy in person Lol, but she insisted on it I'm suppose to fly down to see her in a few days. Now I'm wondering if she only said that because she's drunk or if she was genuinely feeling it. Is this regular for a 2 week thing how would you guys reaction

Edit: she did say over text that before she didn't want me to be uncomfortable and wanted to be honest today, but I'm still uncertain

Hi everyone. Im looking for advice on how to approach growing distance from my long distance partner and communicate.We have been together more than a year and have met up a few times already. Recently, we have been talking less and less due to college and personal life issues. I would say its mostly her thats been stressed with college and financial issues but im also struggling as well. We used to talk so much and now its mostly calls every few days or whenever she is free.

Keep in mind, were two opposite people when dealing with stress . I go towards her more and she keeps to herself more. It has gotten better especially me having to learn to not overthink as much but it's starting to really stress me out and scare me. Im not the best communicator neither is she as im to scared to speak up my feelings most of the time and she tends to prefer not to talk about her feelings. We both have grew with it compared to the beginning of our relationships though i still need some work on my communicating. She has told me in the past to tell her what im feeling as well.

Im starting to feel like shes too busy for me as she tends to be online texting people like on instagram but most of the time she never texts me back. Its been hard to try to convince myself its normal and temporary when i really just want an answer. Im super patient with her which is also why i refrain from saying anything. It has become a pattern in the past and we just made new friends online but the texting and calling has been getting less. Its also not helping as im starting to feel a bit depressed due to the fact im pretty much lonely without her. I know its not right for me to put extra pressure on her but i do want to communicate about my feelings. I do update her a ton but she would respond later in the day and has specifically told me she does not mind me updating her and shes to busy to update me . Im also scared of conflict as i dont want to lose my person. I do know some part of this is on me for not saying anything as well.

We see each other in a week but i do want to say something before. Just looking for other peoples opinions if they have went through the same thing with their partners.

TL;DR: My long-distance girlfriend and I have been talking less due to college and personal issues, mostly on her end. I tend to seek comfort from her when stressed, while she prefers to keep to herself. I’ve been trying to be patient and not overthink, but seeing her online talking to others while leaving my messages unanswered has been hurting me. I’m scared to bring up my feelings because I don’t want to cause conflict or lose her, but the loneliness is starting to affect me. We see each other in a week, but I want to communicate how I feel before then and would appreciate advice from anyone who’s experienced something similar

We both want to date and be together but neither of us have been in a relationship before let alone long distance, what do we do now? We're planning to meet again but neither of us know what "to do" in a relationship. Do we just keep doing what we're doing?

Hello. I (19) am dating my girlfriend, M (21), who I love more than I have ever loved a person. I'm usually quiet and reserved - never been interested in the dating scene. We met at our job and have felt a deeper connection ever since. She makes me feel safe and calm like nothing else. I truly see a future with this girl and, I would like to reiterate, have never felt this way about anybody.

So, here is the issue. I started this first year at college in my state. In-state tuition and scholarships make the actual tuition means nearly nothing is coming out of pocket. The catch? I have to stay an extra year working in this state before I can move or I lose the scholarship.

Since starting here my girlfriend has gotten a job offer a few states away and has had to move. Since she has moved, I have physically felt that distance and it has torn me up.

I thought college would be fulfilling for me here. Its not. She isn't feeling fulfilled with her new job. I know we could survive five years of long distance, but the thought is tourtorus. Especially knowing those five years is just trudging along to the same end where, once we are together, life is so much fuller and brighter.

Would it be more difficult? 100%. But I think it'd be so worth it if I switched to a college near her. We could live our happy life and actually feel like we are living.

I'm just worried if that transition and, namely, not living completely alone would set me back as an adult. Which would I regret more though? Not living by myself or missing five years of happiness - much less if something were to happen to her? Unfortunately, my anxiety does create those thoughts.

This is the most base explanation without going into a million other factors. I'm hoping to get advice from others in my actual life who know us and know we don't make impulsive descions, but alas, I was curious to see the opinions of Reddit.

Extra tidbit : I would be rushing to complete college early here to move over with her, but if I did school there, I could take my time. Maybe go out more.

TLDR; My girlfriend got a new job stated away and I started the first year of college. Should I switch schools early on since life is depressing where I am at?

I have been dating for 1.5 years now. We recently got into a long distance relationship and he went to IIM calcutta. I always had trust issues and he sometimes reassured me and mostly made me feel like it was my fault for not trusting him. After 4 months of ldr, we met and i sneakily logged his insta account in my phone. He sent me a post “Missionary cause her face cute” but sent the same post to another girl at the same time. I texted that girl from his account and it was proved that these two are sexually involved. I took screenshots and called him. He denied for 10 mins and the. accepted it and told me that they had met and were physically involved. I dont know if i am angry anymore I have given him a second chance. But trust me, never trust a man who says he will stay loyal to you. The first chance or reason they find, they will jump on another woman and they wont care for you. My parents are very involved in this and he had no shame whatsoever doing this to me. I am not heartbroken anymore. I am just ….. there.

Yeah. I (28f) met a guy (27m) on Bumble over the summer. He lives about a two hour drive away.

He suggested a FaceTime and we both clicked so well. Conversation flowed so effortlessly. It was easy to flirt and we could make each-other laugh.

The reason we’re only friends is because of our living situations. He owns a house and I own a rural property I’m planning to build on, each in our respective locations.

He said he’d never particularly felt a desire to live on a farm and that he wanted to live in his house for at least another 10 years until he paid his mortgage off.

Meanwhile, I don’t really have any desire to live in a new-build suburb with a tiny backyard. (I want a garden and chickens.) So that was kind of that.

But again, we had an undeniable connection and kept talking and having fun even after that revelation. So, he suggested we hang out and keep in touch as friends. That’s what we’ve been doing for a while now.

The banter is still impeccable. Both of our minds move 100mph and we’re very much on the same wavelength. we can stay up talking for hours without running out of topics.

We’ve also gotten closer and talked about deeper topics. He’s opened up to me in a way that he likely wouldn’t have if we were dating.

I’ve seen so many different sides of him. Every time I learn more, I find myself getting drawn into his mind more, and I’m catching feelings.

We’re basically on the same page for every major life factor (kids, politics, etc.) Just not location.

I’ve not had much success dating locally lately and neither has he. (We actually call each other to vent/laugh about shitty dates.)

I’m considering asking him if he’d ever be willing to reconsider the romantic element.

I know it sounds like utter insanity. But I wonder if he’d be open to it, if there could ever be a compromise on the living situation where we’d both be happy long-term.

Like maybe finding a place that’s in between the cookie-cutter subdivision and full rural that’s closer to his work. (I have a fully remote job and could live in a different place. And my property is fully paid off and would always be there.)

Don’t get me wrong here. I am VERY much aware that part of why our friendship is easy is because of the distance. We can pop in and out of each other’s lives. That and the ‘just friends’ label takes the pressure off.

I know a real relationship would take work and effort and compromise, and it might not survive even if he was interested. But also… wouldn’t it be cool if there was a universe where it could work?

Idk. I’m just feeling like I need someone to talk me through this moment of girlish insanity and tell me if it’s worth a shot, or better to let things lie.

So me and my girlfriend have been doing long distance for around 2 months now, it was all going really well up until recently I’ve started feeling really really insecure about a lot of aspects of myself.

This insecurity makes me really anxious about our relationship, like I’m worried she loses feelings, she cheats, all of that stuff and I feel horrible about it. She’s been perfect to me and has never done anything to make me feel this way which is why it makes me feel even worse, we talked about it in length and she told me she’s willing to stay with me through this until I get better (I did start therapy) but I’m still really conflicted on if this is the right thing. I really do wanna be with her but will I be able to change? It just feels really unfair for her no matter how much she tells me that she’s chosen to stay. I’m just looking for some advice on what I should do and unbiased input. Thank you

My boyfriend of 10 months and I just got much closer distance-wise, since I moved to a city 45 minutes away for my studies. And now it sucks even more.

This is something I’ve been looking forward to for the past 10 months. It’s what kept me going. The thought that soon, we would finally be closer. Last year, I took a gap year, so I would travel to him every month and stay with him for a week. That month apart was hard, but that week together gave me enough to keep going.

Now we see each other about once a week, and I’ve never been this sad. I miss him so much, and it’s so much worse now than it was before. First, because now I don’t have that feeling of “it will get better in X amount of time.” We have no idea when or how we’ll eventually be able to live together. We have long-term plans for our future, but for the next five years, I’ll be studying and he’ll be working, and we don’t have any plans to move in together.

And now I only get to see him for about half a day at a time. We go out and have some fun, then come back to my place and hang out some more, and then he leaves. And I’m left heartbroken.

We’ve talked so much about this, and I don’t even know anymore. I feel so dumb for feeling this way. I see him so much more often now, and realistically, I could just hop on a train and go see him. But I miss our lives together. I miss waking up next to him every morning, working on my thesis while he’s at work and then being happy when he comes home, cooking together, playing together. That one week together meant everything to me.

Now I feel like we don’t have a life together anymore. We have two separate lives. We meet for six hours, and then we go back to our separate lives.

I don’t really know what I want out of this post. I think I just want to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’m so scared that I’ll ruin our relationship with my sadness. He is truly my person, and it breaks my heart not being with him.

And just to be clear, this is something I’ve communicated to my partner, and we’ve talked about it for hours. He loves me to pieces and wants to help and make things better. But we’re both lost. It hurts him to see me hurting, and we just don’t know how to make things better.

​I feel like the longer we’re apart, the more my feelings start to fade, and it’s becoming so exhausting. Every time he says he’s going to visit more often, I end up being the only one who is super excited and talking about it all the time. It’s not that I think he doesn’t love me – we managed to see each other a couple of times early on with a month-and-a-half break, but now the gaps are getting longer and longer. He got a job, and now we only talk for 2–3 hours in the evening, sometimes just half an hour. I often fall asleep while he’s at work, so we miss that time together. We only have weekends, and I feel anxious and overthinking all the time. For him, it’s just normal – he’s working for our better future, and while I’m glad for that, it still makes me sad and so lonely.

​Because of my illness, flying to him is impossible, and it breaks my heart knowing that’s the only option. He could easily fly over every 2–3 weekends, but instead, it feels like I’m begging. I have to wait another month and a half, and it’s already been almost two months since we last met. I love him, but I feel so empty and alone. He doesn’t act very lovey-dovey anymore, and sometimes I feel like I’m annoying him, even though he calls me often because he does want to talk. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but it doesn’t help. Maybe I’m just overreacting, but I’m so sad – not just because of the missed visits, but simply because I don’t have enough time with him. And it’s breaking my heart.

The gap closing is becoming more and more real by the minute, and I’m terrified after all this time we won’t be compatible living together.
I didn’t use to have these thoughts until the people in my life started telling me that we wouldn’t last 6 months living together.. I don’t believe them, but I have terrible anxiety plus hearing their words hurt me a lot and I want to know what to expect or what to prepare for

Hi everyone! I will preface this by saying the guy I’m talking to I met about a few months ago at a bar. I'm not sure what it was about him but I just felt like I couldn't leave without introducing myself. He ended up getting my number and we went on one date before he went back to his country for work. He was such a sweetheart and made me believe that nice guys still exist. We've texted everyday since we met and he is coming to visit me in December for about a week and a half. Some of my friends/co-workers think I'm crazy for even considering this. I keep getting told that he could only be using me, have another girlfriend, etc.

My question to y'all is, how did y'all ignore the hate/ negative feedback you get from wanting to pursue a long distance relationship? I feel like this could be something and it scares me to feel that but seriously, it feels so real and so right. It all just lined up so perfectly when we met and I jokingly told my friend that night the second he walked into the bar before even introducing myself, “I'm gonna marry him!" Of course it was a joke but I am really happy and I can't help but feel like my long, tearful prayers have been heard. Our morals/values align and I was in a past relationship where I was told I was crazy for wanting those things and I wanted some "fairytale." However, it seems so easy with this person that it finally does feel like a fairytale. I feel like our talks are meaningful and intentional. He is such a sweetheart and I know he's been told the same thing from his friends as he's mentioned it before and how he really doesn't wanna regret not ever trying. I'm so scared that everyone thinks I'm so stupid or I'm being so dumb and that honestly makes me feel like I’m dumb for even feeling a bit happy and excited to see him again soon. But seriously, how will I ever know if I don't give it a proper chance? Isn't love always a risk, no matter if it's 5 miles apart or 5000?

Thanks in advance! I love reading this thread and am so happy so many of y'all found love in LDR! This would be my first so any advice would be greatly appreciated! 🫶

Hey Reddit. I've posted before about my long-distance relationship, but I'm back because I'm honestly struggling with what to do, and I could really use some outside perspectives.

I'm a 37-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is a 30-year-old man. I'm in California, and he's in Texas. We've been together since August 2025, so we've been together for over a year now, and we still haven't met each other in person.

I know some people are probably going to wonder how you can be in a relationship with someone for over a year without meeting. Honestly, I ask myself that sometimes, too. But I love this man, and there's a reason I've held on to this relationship.

The biggest obstacle is that my boyfriend is afraid of flying.

He's never been on an airplane before, and he's never left Texas. He also doesn't drive. I understand that flying can be genuinely frightening for some people, especially when they've never done it before. I'm not trying to dismiss his fears or make him feel bad for having them.

However, I'm starting to worry about whether I'm going to be the one expected to do most of the traveling and making the sacrifices in this relationship.

I actually tried discussing alternative ways for him to travel. I've had people suggest that he could take a Greyhound bus or a train to California instead of flying. I brought up those possibilities with him, but he told me he doesn't want to take Greyhound because he thinks it's too sketchy, and he feels the same way about taking a train.

So flying is something he's afraid of, but the other transportation options aren't things he's comfortable with, either.

I don't know what else to suggest. I want to be understanding, but I also don't know how we're supposed to close the distance if every possible way of traveling makes him uncomfortable.

A little background about our jobs and finances:

I work in automotive manufacturing, in an assembly and production environment, and I've been at my current job for about five months. I have a decent-paying job and work long shifts. My boyfriend also works in a technical field, but his position is on-call, so our work situations and incomes are different.

He lives with his parents and his older brother. My boyfriend is 30, and he doesn't currently drive. His older brother does drive, though.

My boyfriend has explained that the cost of living in Texas is different from California, and he doesn't want to leave his current job because he's comfortable where he is. He doesn't feel like starting over somewhere else is something he wants to do.

Recently, I found out from coworkers that my company has its annual shutdown sometime around the end of the year or beginning of the new year. It's a regular maintenance shutdown, and we may get a week or two off. I thought this might finally give us an opportunity to meet in person.

I mentioned this to my boyfriend because I thought it might give us a chance to finally see each other.

He suggested that since we've been together for over a year without seeing each other, maybe I could use that time off to fly to Texas and visit him.

I understand why he suggested it. I've flown before to visit family, whereas he's never flown anywhere. From his perspective, I'm the one with the experience, and I have a better-paying job, so traveling might be easier for me financially.

He's also told me that he would be willing to pay half of my plane ticket. I want to be fair about that because he's not expecting me to cover absolutely everything. He's thinking about my finances and doesn't want me to spend more money than I need to.

However, I've been wanting him to come to California to see me. I told him that I don't want to always be the one traveling to him, and I asked him what would happen after I visited Texas. Would he eventually work up the courage to fly to California to see me?

He told me that he knows he'll have to do that eventually and that he will. He's scared, though, and I know this isn't something he's comfortable with.

Part of me wants to be understanding and give him time. Another part of me wonders how long I'm supposed to wait and whether his fear will continue to be an obstacle every time we want to see each other.

Now there's also the question of where I would stay if I actually flew to Texas.

My boyfriend doesn't want me to spend a lot of money on a hotel on top of buying a plane ticket. He has suggested that his older brother could drive them both to the airport to pick me up when I arrive.

I appreciate that he's trying to help me save money, and I don't mind meeting his family. I understand that he's offering to let me stay at his parents' house because he wants me to be comfortable and doesn't want me to spend unnecessarily.

However, I also want some privacy when I finally meet my boyfriend in person for the first time.

I told him that I'd prefer to get a hotel for at least a day or two so we could have some private time together. He said he understands and that he's fine with me getting a hotel for a couple of days.

His suggestion was that if I can afford to stay in Texas for a whole week during my work shutdown, I could book a hotel for the first two days, and then spend the rest of the week at his parents' house, staying in his room with him.

He lives in a three-bedroom house with his parents and his older brother. His brother's bedroom is next to his, and his parents' bedroom is across the hall. He told me his parents wouldn't mind me staying there and that he doesn't think it would be an issue.

I'm not against meeting his parents or spending time with his family. I just don't know how comfortable I would feel sleeping over at his parents' house with his brother right next door, especially when this would be the first time we've ever met.

I want to be able to spend time with my boyfriend privately and get to know what it's like being together in person. I also want to feel comfortable and have a space of my own.

I don't even know if I could afford a hotel for an entire week, especially with the plane ticket and other travel expenses. I understand his concerns about money, and I appreciate that he's willing to help with the airfare. I'm just trying to figure out a reasonable arrangement that works for both of us.

Part of me wonders if I'm overthinking the accommodation situation, but another part of me feels that having my own hotel room would make me more comfortable and independent during my first visit.

The other major issue is our future and where we would eventually live.

My boyfriend is very close to his family, especially his brother, and he has told me that he doesn't want to leave Texas. He wants to stay close to his family, and I understand that because family is important to me, too.

He's mentioned that after we finally meet in person, if we still feel the same connection, he hopes we could eventually live together. He's suggested that I could potentially move to Texas, find an apartment, and bring my children with me.

I'm a single mom with two kids, and their lives and happiness have to be part of any major decision I make. I can't just pick up and move across the country without thinking about what that would mean for them. I don't even know if my kids would want to move to Texas.

I also don't want to move somewhere I've never lived, leave my support system, and uproot my children for a relationship that we haven't even experienced in person yet.

When I asked whether he would ever consider living somewhere else, he explained how important it is for him to remain close to his family. I understand his reasons, but I don't know if he understands mine in the same way.

I'm not necessarily demanding that he move to California. I know California is expensive, and I'm willing to consider other possibilities. Maybe there's another state where we could eventually build a life together that works for both of us.

But that would require both of us to be open to compromise, and right now, I'm worried that I'm the only one seriously considering what it would take to make this relationship work long-term.

So why am I still holding on?

Because he's been sweet and kind to me. He understands me in ways that previous partners haven't, and he accepts that I'm a mom with two children.

I've had experiences with men who weren't interested in pursuing a relationship with me because I already had kids. It's painful when you feel like being a mother makes you less desirable to someone you want to build a life with.

My boyfriend hasn't made me feel that way. He's interested in me, he cares about me, and he doesn't see my children as a reason not to be with me. That means a lot to me, especially after the things I've experienced in previous relationships.

I love him, and I don't want to give up on someone who has made me feel understood and accepted.

At the same time, I know love isn't the only thing that matters in a relationship. We need to be compatible in our goals, our willingness to make sacrifices, and the kind of future we want.

I'm hoping that once he finally gets on a plane and we meet in person, he'll realize that traveling doesn't have to be as frightening as he imagines. Maybe he'll become more comfortable with the idea of visiting California. Maybe, with time, we'll both be more open to figuring out where to live.

But I also realize that I'm hoping for things to change, and I don't know if it's fair to either of us to build our future around possibilities that haven't happened yet.

I don't want to pressure him into doing something that genuinely scares him. I want him to feel ready, too. But I also don't want to spend years in a long-distance relationship waiting for the next step to happen.

I'm 37, I'm raising two children, and I want a relationship that eventually becomes something real in everyday life. I want to experience being with my partner in person, spending time together, and eventually building a home and a future together.

I don't want to be the only one taking risks, making plans, or figuring out how we're going to close the distance.

So, Reddit, what would you do in my situation?

Would you use the opportunity during your work shutdown to fly to Texas and finally meet him, even though you've been asking him to come to you?

Would you give him more time to work through his fear of flying, or would you be concerned that you're already seeing a pattern that could continue throughout the relationship?

Am I being unreasonable for wanting to book my own hotel for the first couple of days, even though he's offered to let me stay at his parents' house and is trying to help me save money?

How would you approach the issue of where to live when one person wants to stay close to their family in Texas and the other has children and an established life in California?

And if we do finally meet and everything goes well, how long would you wait for your partner to take the next step and make an effort to visit you?

I know that ultimately this is my decision to make. I'm not asking strangers to decide whom I should love. I'm asking because I'm emotionally invested in this relationship, and sometimes it's hard to see things clearly when your heart is involved.

I love this man. I want us to work. I want to believe we can figure this out together.

But I also need to think about myself and my children, and I don't want to confuse loving someone with waiting indefinitely for a future that may never happen.

Please be honest with me, but I would appreciate advice that considers both sides. I know his fear of flying is real, and I know relationships require patience. I also recognize that he's trying to consider my finances and has offered to contribute toward my plane ticket.

I'm just trying to figure out where patience ends and where I need to start protecting my own future.

Thank you for reading.