my boyfriend had recently said that i make him hate his life sometimes and tbh that entirely changed my perspective on him.

he said hes tired of my drama but its not drama i just feel like he lacks effort and time and energy with me i moved in cuz he kept insisting but now recently all he ever does is goes with friends and leaves me here waiting for him.

im not saying hes not allowed to have fun i just want balance cuz id like to feel included into his life yesterday we had gotten into an argument and i wanted to tag along with him and his friends but he said he’ll rather breakup than have me go cuz im controlling him idk what to do i really love him but i wanna be better too

we’ve had these convos twice and i feel like there isn’t change the before last week,last week and this week he just keeps going out and i feel like it’s cuz im home :(

okay so there's a girl who goes to the same bar i go to she's probably at the very least like 3 inches taller then i am although tbh this sounds dumb i think she's low key wearing height boosters.

Cause I stg I remember seeing her and she was shorter then what i was told.

Anyway i mean what have your guys experience been with this ?

Its a dumb question and honestly i know the answer just shoot your shot and whatever happens happens but thought I'd ask.

for reference im like 5'7 like 5'8.

I am constantly angry and frustrated, everything in my life is a source to get angry about. The older I get (currently 40M) the more things in life make me angry. The less patience and interest I have in life.

My hobbies, my work, my friends, my coworkers - fuck just using the bathroom pisses me off.

I'm always angry, I'm always pushing it down I'm always trying to think calm thoughts and deep breaths and slow my heart.

Yet despite that I still just explode with anger and frustration every few months. Every few months I'll get set off by something, I'll break things I'll injure myself, I'll scream and shout and go into a blind rage.

I tell myself "Don't do this again, stop doing this, stop being angry" I think I'll have a hold on it and then without fail within a year I'll find myself with broken bones again because I punched something harder than my hand, I'll have broken my wrist again bashing my arm into something, I'll need stitches again because I've scratched open my legs.

It does not stop, it does not get better as I get older, it does not change. I am tired of this being what life is.

I don't know if any other neurodivergent guys feel this way, but sometimes I feel like I just can't win when it comes to interacting with women. I'm always worried about coming across as a creep, even when I have absolutely no bad intentions. I just want to talk to people, make friends, and hopefully find someone I'm romantically compatible with. But it feels like there's so much room for misunderstanding, and I'm always worried I'll get something wrong without even realising it.

One thing I struggle with is picking up on hints. I see women complain about men not taking hints when they're not interested, and I get why that's frustrating. Nobody wants to feel like someone is pushing unwanted attention on them. But as someone who's neurodivergent, I genuinely struggle to understand some of these hints. Sometimes they're so indirect that I wouldn't even realise they were hints in the first place.

For example, if a woman starts giving shorter replies or acting differently, how am I supposed to know whether she's hinting that she's uncomfortable, she's just having a bad day, she's tired, or she's simply not that talkative? I can't read minds. Sometimes I take things at face value because I don't realise there's another meaning behind what's being said.

The same thing happens with flirting. If a woman smiles at me, laughs at my jokes, or seems happy to talk to me, I honestly don't always know whether she's interested in me or just being friendly. I know some people might think the difference is obvious, but it really isn't always obvious to me. I'm scared of misinterpreting friendliness as flirting and making a move on a woman who was just being nice. I don't want to be that guy who mistakes basic kindness for romantic interest and makes someone uncomfortable.

But there's another side to this. If I always assume a woman is just being friendly, I might miss out on someone who actually likes me. And she might end up thinking I'm dense or completely oblivious because I didn't pick up on her hints. If I make a move, I might be misreading the situation. If I don't, I might miss an opportunity with someone who's genuinely interested in me. It feels like I'm expected to somehow know the difference, even when I genuinely can't tell.

The worst part is that if I get it wrong, I worry that I'll be seen as a creep rather than someone who simply misunderstood the situation. I've had moments where I've only realised afterwards that someone might have been trying to tell me something indirectly. Looking back, I wonder if I made her uncomfortable without even knowing it at the time. That honestly bothers me because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or make women feel pressured to entertain me.

But there's a difference between deliberately ignoring someone's boundaries and genuinely not realising what they're trying to communicate. Sometimes it's ignorance, not malice. I'm not saying being neurodivergent means I should get a free pass for making mistakes. I still have to learn, and if someone makes it clear they're not interested, I need to respect that. I just wish people understood that some of us genuinely struggle with social cues that others seem to pick up on naturally. It's not always a matter of refusing to take a hint. Sometimes we don't even realise there's a hint to take.

I also wonder how much harder this must be for Black and Indian men, who may already have to deal with racial stereotypes portraying them as aggressive, intimidating, or violent. I'm neither Black nor Indian, so I don't want to pretend I know what that experience is like. But I imagine that having people interpret your behaviour through those stereotypes, on top of struggling to read social cues, could make an already difficult situation even more stressful. Something as simple as approaching someone or expressing interest could carry an extra layer of anxiety if you're worried that your actions will be interpreted as threatening because of your race.

Honestly, all of this makes me hesitant to approach women at all. I overthink everything because I don't want to be perceived as creepy, but at the same time, I don't want to spend my entire life avoiding romantic opportunities because I'm scared of getting things wrong. It's lonely, and it can make you feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with you when all you're trying to do is connect with another person.

I understand that women have their own reasons for being cautious around men, and I'm not dismissing that. I just wish there were a little more understanding for neurodivergent guys who are genuinely trying their best to navigate social situations that don't come naturally to them, and for those who face additional prejudices on top of that.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Especially the whole thing about not knowing whether someone is flirting, just being friendly, or indirectly trying to tell you they're not interested? How do you deal with it without either making someone uncomfortable or missing every opportunity because you're too afraid of misreading the situation?

Was in the gym early this morning. It’s a very big gym and my section is usually very quiet. My treadmill was facing a mirror and for the hour I was walking this guy was working out in front of me. When I was leaving the gym, I heard someone behind me saying “see you”. It was mirror man going to a nearby bin. I turned and said “good luck”. Was he just being friendly?

Hi. My bf has spent quite a lot of money on women he has either dated, had a fwb or who were sex workers. He has paid their rent on a few occasions, given them money to hold them over til the end of the month or just given them money because they asked. What's odd is that he also explained that many of these women didn't treat him good but that he still helped them.

His explanation as to why he was doing this was that he didn't have proper boundaries with himself. Also, that he felt good when he could help women but that it was also about feeling sorry for them. I can understand how we evolve and that makes sense...

For myself I am about making memories. That being said if it is his love language then does it mean he loves me less because he isn't as finacial generous?

It took about a year and half for him to start feeling comfortable enough to offer to pay fully pay for things (mostly dinner/food dates). I am always very appreciative when he offers and will reciprocate in different ways.

*The only time I felt a sting and a need to compare myself with these other women was when I was looking into purchasing a much needed medical device (I have a chronic health issue). I didn't have enough money but luckily the company had a promotion, so I was able to pay half. Thing is, the half owing was about the same amount he helped one women from his past with pay her rent... I don't want to be "that person" but it was difficult not to compare myself. He gets it but stands firm that while he cares about me he doesn't want to be "that type" of guy anymore.

Are his points fair/valid or is it a matter of him not feeling that he has to try as hard to impress me? Most of the women from his past are much more attractive and closer to his preferred body type preference, which adds more confusion about his behaviour.

Without coming down too hard on me, could you please share some male perspectives on a healthier way I can approach this situation. My bf isn't wealthy, so some of that money he gave those women were from his savings or just from his monthly paychecks.

Thank you

P.S. We have had a lot of ups and downs in this relationship. There was emotional baggage we both brought but we have worked through a lot. My post is intended to help me gain perspective on healthy ways to analyze my relationship.

I (20f) am kinda into this guy(21m) at my uni. We met doing a group project and I think we got on well. We're not friends, we haven't even spoken in a year and a half (since the project ended) but I noticed that he started going to the socials for our uni course so I thought I'd go and talk to him.

I'm nervous as it's been a long time since we've spoken so I don't want him to think I'm weird or something? The social will probably be a bar crawl, so the alcohol should help make things easier I'm hoping.

I have no clue how to go about this. I have 0 dating experience and don't go out drinking often. I don't want to come off too strong but I also want him to be able to tell I'm potentially interested so he can reciprocate if he feels the same. Does anyone have any advice on how to flirt, send signals that I like him and how to know if he may like me back? It would be greatly appreciated.

​

I (22m) am a virgin and haven't had a girlfriend since high-school.

As of recently I've been thinking about making changes to my life. Ive been introverted for a long time and while i do still like my alone time i thought i should other things such as going to college, trying to be more social, etc.

I have been trying to get out of this redpill mindset I got pulled into during my teens years. However I have some thoughts that I can't let go of.

1. Should I try hooking up? because I am ashamed of being a virgin and I worry alot of women don't like virgin men. The thing is I don't like hookup culture is always wanted to wait till atleast the second date to be intimate not do it right off the back. Am I wrong for this view?

2. What are some things can I do to let go of my old redpill mindset? I don't watch it anymore but I still have some views from. Examples being:

3. women only want big(im average "down there").

4. Women dont like short men (im 5'6)

I wanna move on and try to be happy but I feel stuck.

Okay so my whole life I've watched porn but now I'm in a relationship where the sex is good but most of the time I'm unable to orgasm. I stay hard and can go the distance and she has a good time but i eventually run out of energy and just have to give up. Which sucks. Occasionally i will orgasm through sex and it's amazing, but its like 1 in 40 times or something like that, pretty rare.

Now i know my porn habit is bad, i will masturbate once or twice a day usually, and most of the time it takes about an hour. I do enjoy it but sometimes it can be a pain taking up so much time.

Now I'm not sure what a good solution is to my problem. Ive tried giving up porn (which is very difficult) and that doesn't really solve the problem, i think the issue is ive trained my brain to be stimulated very visually and when you're having sex is not easy to step back and appreciate the body that you're with. The longest I've gone without is maybe two weeks.

Any advice would be great. Anyone had the same experience, situation as me I'd love to hear from as well. I would happily try a program or something to help me get through this, and that's partly why i made this post, i had an ad for Rhino app come up but then when i got to the end of the very annoying questionnaire it seems like it's not really designed to help with my kind of problem.

My husband likes to sleep in but I keep wanting to wake up and get busy… I’ve said this and he doesn’t really give a clear response on if he’d be ok with this.

Would you be annoyed or unable to really perform if you were in the middle of sleeping and got woken up?

Sorry for the flair, I don't know if it fits.

Well, I am man 26 yrs old and I was working this summer with a woman in her early 60s, she was sth like my supervisor. We had a very good communication, we share many things, even the place we are coming from is the same. We had some picky conversations here and there, not very serious, sometimes I got her looking down on my p@nis and one time she slapped my behind. The point is we only worked together for 2-3 weeks because I had to leave for an other job. Nevertheless, we have been talking sometimes via social media so we have kept in touch. Now that we both came back, we are planning to go out. Sex is not the first thing that comes in my mind, I am like 50/50, but she said by herself to go out together at night and this is what intrigued me. Is she really into sex or sth ?

I am okay with relationships, I can feel out women's intentions, whenever she wants to date me or not, but this specific situation got me off guard. What are you people thinking ? Thanks in advance

Is it selfish of me to break up with her, when she has her first day at work on Wednesday?

I’m not in the right headspace at the moment nor the right mental state, I’ve been struggling quietly, painting smiles all that stuff. I don’t want to drag her down with me, she’s already noticed something is up, but I haven’t had the guts to tell her. I can’t tell her that she is stressing me out with what she’s been saying as of recent.

Would I be a dick to do this? Some advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I really feel like I should be able to have straight male friends. But I have never had one that didn’t end up with a weird flirtatious dynamic or me feeling like he was into me. That’s not a large sample size though, but it’s true. In one case I knew for sure he was into me because he hit on me and another other threw out some indirect flirty comments that my husband is sure sounds like flirting. (There was a mutual attraction in both situations but in the later, I was fine being disciplined because I’m in a relationship.) He also progressively stopped talking to me after coming to my wedding and breaking up with his gf. So that one is gone too now and we had great conversations. He literally lives around the corner from me.

I’m not a model either, I’m a plus size girl with a nerdy, intellectual and bubbly vibe. People do tend to think I’m pretty, but I would think the fat part would make this at least somewhat doable 😂

So far, I just have casual associates in groups where I do volunteer/political organizing work. But I don’t really have any straight dudes I am friends with. I also think I could be a great wing woman!

I think the obvious way is to be friends with guys who don’t show any sign of attraction to me at all. But I think those guys might avoid being closer friends because they don’t want me to like them lolol

It’s just a thing I’ve felt is odd. Like as an adult, I should be able to have friends who are straight men. My husband doesn’t really have women friends right now, but he has had them before in his life. I literally never have, outside of casual associates I see in groups.

This will seem like a very weird question regarding how old I am. I saw this video of a man sitting in a garage looking at a spool of copper wire and describing to his wife how it almost symbolized all the time he's been alive.

I had a similar situation with my wife. Where I found an old rite in rain notebook I used in the Army with all the work and dumb shit I wrote in at at 18 - 21. I was feeling kind of emotional about it but she just brushed me off. Here I am now 26 years old fully disabled from the Army and with 3 beautiful kids.

That conversation and realization has been stuck in my head as much as my PTSD from the Army. How do you reconcile men or women that you're getting older?

So me and my girlfriend are in a medium distance relationship. She's only 54 miles away from me and a 2-3 hour trip by train and coach bus. Honestly since we can't have sex all the time I was masturbating, always with her in mind.

She was at my house yesterday because she had a tour, nobody was home and it happened. At first I thought it was the condom, but we went for about an hour 45 (with breaks) and I started to feel like it wasn't just that. It felt good but during the breaks I lost some hardness I guess and it made it a little difficult until I got back in and everything was back to normal, but we chalked it down to it was our first time and I didn't think much about it because she said she was more than satisfied.

Then I searched about it and many other reddits were saying there was something called death grip and it stemmed from porn stimulation and masturbation, but I never was a porn watcher, so now I'm worried that I somehow damaged my nerve endings by just masturbating as they describe. I also havent done it for a week now so I have no idea what to do.

I still feel like the condom had some play in it because it was a regular one, I'm gonna try to get one of those thin sensitive ones to see if theres a difference. But if anyone has any idea or had a similar experience, PLEASE reach out to me or leave a comment man.

I’m 34, unemployed, living with family, and struggling to find a way forward.

I’ve survived homelessness, a rare muscle disease that left me bedridden, abusive relationships, losing my father, and business failures.

I built a 15-year career in copywriting, worked with executives, and generated millions for companies. Yet I’m back at square one.

I’ve lost my ambition, confidence, independence, and enthusiasm for life. I want financial stability, my own home, marriage, and a family, but everything feels increasingly out of reach.

I’m not looking for pity. I’m looking for practical advice from people who’ve rebuilt their lives in their 30s or later.

Where would you start? How do I regain financial independence, rebuild my career, and find purpose again?

I could genuinely use some guidance, resources, or mentorship.

Good morning,

I'm here to kindly ask the experts for some advice 😊

With Christmas approaching I've been googling moustache grooming kits, as my darling partner has the most gorgeous stache, and I'd love to get him the right tools and additionally, a kit that he can travel with if needed.

His current "kit" is a cat brush, a thin comb, and wax (that part hes all good on). I'm not sure what he's using to trim it, probably the kitchen scissors I can't find. All the kits I look at don't seem to be what he'd use.

So please good sirs, I value any and all input 😊

For the past few months, I (25M) my ability to have a full erection and I don’t really know why.

The left side of my penis has dramatically less sensation than the left side now. When I get an erection, I am not at full mast with length and way thinner in girth (which is a stark contrast because I’m above average in that department).

It seems to be rooted in pain somewhere near my tailbone & hips on my left side. My groin and left hip are incredibly tight.

I have been able to regain sensation once for a few hours when I was massaging around trying to release tension.

I've always been an extremely passionate person with strong ideals and very romantic with regards to ALWAYS wanting a long term relationship that leads to marriage and possibly kids. It's something I wanted so badly and obsessed over my entire life and now since starting medication I don't care for it anymore, I don't view relationships with the same earnest lens and I'm more likely to see it as transactional as opposed to romantic. I used to vehemently be against the idea of dating older men because I want to be with someone my own age and grow older with them and have something warm and nice and have something in common with. But now I just see dating older men as more practical, especially since I live in Canada and both men and women my age are struggling, like it'd be nice to at least date a guy with a car or a job.

I'm more open to short term and casual relationships which is something I detested prior to getting medicated. I never understood the point of short term relationships especially since it's not normal in my culture and I grew up religious but in modern dating culture it's the norm.

Now I know deep down it's not what I want so I still don't date older men even though I have more to gain in a financial way. As of now I've just put dating on hold as a whole to focus on my own life.

I feel very lost, I honestly just want someone I can hug after 6pm.

33 Female, 32 Male. We have been together for 2 years.

We were supposed to plan for our wedding at March/ April, but when I was planning for it my man showed 0 interest which something hurt me as a woman.

I asked him do you think of our future, and he said not as often as you, I said ok, when u think of it what plans come to ur mind? And he said the marriage isn't a priority for him but if this will make me sleep at night, he will do it and he is FINE with me plans. I said but this is our wedding why u r acting like u r a guest in it?

And then from here to there, I said man should do everything for the woman to accept to marry her, flowers, being on one knee, etc. And you make me feel like less of a woman and I won't pressure someone to marry me. He said it's not strict no, but it's just not priority now, marriage doesn't make me happy and I can wait 5-7 years without marriage, it's normal.

My question is, what should I do in this situation, should I keep planning as most of the men could have cold feet before wedding, or everything eventually will collapse and at some point he would gell me this is not what I wanted?

Thank you!

Both my bf & I are late 20s. Lately the past few months I’ve been feeling extremely fatigued and I told him about it and he said I need to make lifestyle changes and would help me. A major reason I have been fatigued is because he keeps me up until 1-2am on weekdays even though I like waking up at 7am to get things done & relax the rest of the day. My bf always said I was cosplaying being a blue collar worker and that I’m not one, therefore I don’t need to wake up that early. He also prefers I stay up until he knocks out when we do finally head to bed cause he has anxiety, so that’s me waiting like 5-15mins. Anyways, he was kind and considerate the first few days encouraging me to sleep, then after that was back to normal…and he always tries to be intimate at that time and I’m exhausted, and on weekdays he has to wake up at 6 for work.

He also calls me names when mad or upset at me, like wench, broad, the b word (idk if I can say it in this group. I’ve asked him to stop several times over three years. That or he’ll spell the b word and say “I didn’t say it!”

He doesn’t want me to kiss up to him - which is a valid thing, but then he says I never listen and am too much or difficult.

When we have a tiff, he talks over me and interrupts when I try to speak, but I intentionally wait 10-15secs to see if he says anything, if he doesn’t then I’ll say what I have to say. I’ll be five words in and he’ll start talking again and tells me “stfu I’m talking, you’re interrupting me.”

I know after disagreeing on something (nothing major like politics, morals, etc) some people don’t want to be affectionate. That’s totally fine and it doesn’t bother me. But I’ll try talking with him about something unrelated and use “babe” “hun” or whatever and he’ll snap at me saying “I’m not a baby” or do a one chuckle like “ha right.” Or if it’s several hrs later, I’ll give a kiss and half the time he’ll return it or the other half he’ll do the chuckle or he’ll say “yuck.”

And if it’s a day we had a disagreement, and his mom makes his mad, he’ll be going on and on “I hate women” “ha women can’t live with them” etc etc.

He knows I walk on eggshells with my mom and he’ll make jokes about it. And he’ll use things I told him I don’t like against me if we argued that day. Like I don’t like when he calls me “bud” or “buddy” and he’s been saying that nonstop to me cause he knows I don’t like it compare to his usual pet names.

I’m not perfect but how can I be better?

For men who married older women by 3-5 years, how was your experience in the long term? I'm asking because I'm currently involved with someone who is older than me by 5 years, and I would like to know the experience of other men, what should I expect in the future regarding this type of marriage.

I was with my ex for around 2 years and although he went down on me a few times, I kinda got the feeling he didn’t like me there that much.

A year after breaking up with him, I met a guy on a dating app and we’ve been out 5 or 6 times. I really like him and the more I speak to him the more I like him. We‘ve recently started intimacy and I enjoy it with him.

The only thing is I get a little embarrassed about him seeing and feeling there. My labia is quite big, and my ex thought that too. I feel a little shy when he keeps the lights on and looks there. He was gonna go down once but I told him no because I felt self conscious.

Any advice on how to feel more comfortable would be appreciated. I just hope he finds me a little bit pretty there because my ex didn’t