This question comes from curiosity. And maybe I’m biased because I am a woman 😂 but I’m wondering if it’s all the same thing breasts and butts just different shapes and sizes, some fake some real, some regular and some fit, at some point does it get boring?

We've been together for nearly 30 years. We've been married for almost all of that time. We've got teenagers, a house, cars, jobs and all the routine stuff that comes with that life.

For the last several years sex has been routine and mechanical. She will genuinely want it and is eager to have orgasms every few months, but besides that it's just her providing me with a service. She says she enjoys the intimacy of sex, but without her actually being into it for her own physical pleasure it's hard for me to enjoy myself. I feel like she's just meeting some obligation and crossing a chore off the list. Taking advantage of that isn't erotic.

Having a strong libido myself, some sex is better than no sex, even if it's not the sex you'd like, but there are many, many things we could do sexually that she just doesn't enjoy or appreciate. She would do them if I asked, but it's not much fun knowing she'd otherwise not do those things.

I've just settled into the same blowjob and the same couple of positions to bring me to climax and satisfy her need to meet her obligation, but I've just really gotten to where I don't want that anymore. I want to do other things, but I don't want to if it's just going to be an obligation she meets. I certainly don't want the headache of her protesting what I request and then begrudgingly giving in.

I've just been saying it's too late to have sex, or pointing out she's really too tired and I'd feel better if I let her get some sleep, or I'm too tired or preoccupied... It's been a couple of weeks and I'm sure she's aware something is going on.

I just don't want to deal with the bullshit that would come out of the honest conversation about how she has a narrow sexual spectrum. I'm just phasing sex out, or at least I'm trying as best as I can without having the obvious conversation about it.

It's very sad... I have a voracious libido. It's just easier to throttle myself and come down to meet her when she's genuinely hot for it.

How many of you are in the same place and how are you handling it?

I am 27f dating a man who is 30m. We've been dating for about six months and exclusive for the last two. He's everything I want in a man and this is my first stable and healthy relationship. The only issue is sex. We didn't have sex until we were exclusive and even then it took like a month. It was mostly just cuddling and kissing, which I was totally fine with. We have such a great time with foreplay, but when it comes to moment of sticking it in, he goes soft immediately.

We have introduced toys into our bedroom which helps take off the pressure of him having to give me an orgasm. I am more sexually experienced than him and I wonder if that's the case? Or maybe he's scared of getting me pregnant (I am on birth control) but he should just by condoms? Or maybe he thinks I have something because I am more sexually experienced than him? There's so many questions and I know the only way to figure it out is if I ask him, but my question is how?

How can I ask him without making him retreat back into his shell? I feel like we've made such strides in our relationship and we're both able to orgasm at the end. But I just want to feel connected to him in that way. How can I ask without feeling like a sex-crazed Jezebel and also not making him feel guilty for not pleasing me in that way?

The whole dating/social skills seems like the hardest thing to change up or get better at. I fall into the same awkward patterns every time I go on one. I have gotten better at my work and making friends but dating idk how to do. I do have autism, possibly moderate and not just mild. I have a learning challenge and visible social challenges, I can’t fully iron them out.

My profile has picked up and I’ve gotten matches and dates though.

To other guys, what’s worked or helped? Does it get better?

There are lots of men that are early 20s, even mid 20s, that struggle with dating issues. For some maybe they're too shy or awkward. Others could be too unattractive and have low self esteem or confidence. Unfortunately I feel like I suffer from all of these, making dating pretty much impossible for someone like me.

So what are some ways to overcome these potential issues that may hurt some guys dating chances? And if you used to deal with any one or multiple of those issues, how were you able to overcome it and drastically improve your dating life?

25M who has tried dating apps for two years and is part of sports groups. I’ve also tried speed dating irl and keep running into people who are older who don’t wanna date younger people/don’t mesh with me that way or people who are already coupled up. I’ve made plenty of friends including friends with women but they don’t know anyone who is single and who would be a good match for me. Feeling super lost and don’t know what to do dating wise. I go to the gym often, have a good income, and have followed all of the other advice. Got dates off the apps but they never lead anywhere and the swiping and constantly failing is frustrating to the point that I deleted the apps as they ruined my mental health for a while. Looking for any advice on what to do as I want to try dating again.

Do any other men care about milestone birthdays? I have my 60th coming up and the last time my wife organized a party for me was 30 years ago. Does this matter to anyone else? For me, it's more about the intention and the effort. I just don't think she cares enough to do anything special beyond going out to a restaurant. I always get the feeling that my birthday is an annoyance that she just wants to get past. It's not the money - I don't need a rented venue, but having a few people over to the house for something organized would be nice. I've had a rough year and it would be nice to feel appreciated, even if we're not that close anymore. Just curious if anyone else feels this way.

My background:
29 yo guy. Got a girl when I was 20 and she was 18, has been my wife ever since and I got no eyes for another.
For the past 5 years, ever since I got a stable and quite well paying job she hasn't worked a day in her life ( by both of our choice ) and I couldn't feel happier and more proud about it.

The issue is that we both hate the country we live from the bottom of our hearts and the burden is on me to save up and leave. We want to move to Spain ( we are Eastern-Europeans and part of the eu so it's quite a straightforward process ) and I am determined to buy a property there as rent prices are insane and I'd be shooting myself in the foot paying rent there.

I have saved up around 40k euros, need about that much more in order to even qualify for a down payment. If my calculations are correct and nothing bad happens I should be able to save this money after 2 more years. The issue is I am getting so God damn anxious about it. I make around 3 times the average salary of my country, by many standards I'd be considered rich here, yet I live like a poor person. We only buy essential groceries, clothes, limit heating and try to cut out on all expenses. I work 2 jobs with a total of about 60 hours per week and my mind is fixated on saving every last penny I can get my hands on to reach this fixed idea that I will finally escape my country.

But it's really getting on my mental health lately. Because I know I haven't magically completed life if I buy a home, even though it's a huge step. What if I fail afterwards, what if something happens and I cannot provide no more, I want the absolute best for my wife. We are both determined on not having kids, ever, so I am not worried about that one bit. But given how every media around me screams at me how a huge, inevitable and catastrophic financial crisis is approaching I can't stop panicking and thinking "what if I fail".

Is it even possible to get over this?

Just need to vent/get some insight. I finally got dinner with a friend I’ve liked for a while. I thought we had a vibe, but my execution was terrible. She gave me multiple openings to get closer—telling me a story about hurting her finger, shivering in the park—and I just stood there like a statue. I did pay for the meal and joked that she could get the next one to imply a second date.

Well, a few days later I found out she's dating someone else. It's safe to say I missed my window, but I can't help but wonder if she chose the other guy because I didn't make a move. What do you guys think i should do to bounce back from missing obvious signals?

I have been called ugly and laughed at in my face multiple times in my life. I have dated a few pretty girls, but they were always super short term, and always ended with me getting cheated on with a better looking man. I feel as their is no point of even trying to make friends or get dates as a ugly man. Even on the weeks I am feeling happy and confident, I am always brought right back down to earth when someone calls me ugly or makes fun of my appearance. I am 26 years old and supposed to be in the prime of my life, and yet I haven't even kissed a girl in over 2 years.

Basically the title- I want to be able to have a woman run their fingers through my chest hair and grab it without it being painful. Right now, even just kind of scratching it tends to be on the edge of painful. I’ve tried dandruff shampoo, lotion-ing, conditioning and nothing seems to get rid of the sensitivity. Thoughts?

First of all, I want to say that this week I saw a post about this here on the subreddit, but I can't find it anymore. If anyone else saw it and remembers it, please let me know here.

I’m 35 and starting to experience some difficulties with this aspect of my health. I know it’s time to see a urologist (I’ve been before) because I’m feeling some internal discomfort, and another new symptom is that my urine keeps dripping for a few minutes after I pee. I have to be very careful not to get my underwear wet.

I recently bought some medications and supplements at Kroger, and they’ve helped a little. I’d like to read about the experiences of others who’ve been through this and what the process was like. Is it possible to fix this?

Hello everyone.

So I just barely jumped back into the dating scene, dating apps. I haven’t really talked to anyone except this one guy. He’s in his mid 30s and I’m in my mid 20s.

We exchanged numbers and I am very interested to know more about him. I ask him what he’s looking for, he wants someone loyal, mhonest, and genuine. Not talking to anyone else. I fit the bill! Perfect.

Then we get into a conversation on hook up culture, we’re on the same page, we both don’t agree with it. Cool!

He wants a lot off the bat, pictures, talking about doing things already, and I just feel like I’m not ready. I also don’t want to just hook up, we’ve only been talking for a few days and we both don’t agree with hook up culture so why would I start doing anything sexual right away?

I bring up it’s a lot at once, I wanna go slow, and just get to know each other.

He says he’s not trying to be friends, doesn’t want his time wasted, and I understand that. I can only imagine how many people have wasted his time. But we both disagree on hook up culture and I feel like it’s safe to see I don’t want to start hookin up right away?

Is there something I’m missing? I feel like ever since I put a firm boundary of taking things slow he’s gone basically. So I get maybe he just wanted to hook up and that’s it, but why not just say that?

Thank you!

22 years old British bloke.

Bit of context. I got Body Dysmorphia, particularly around my genitals. I’m far outside the norm (really skinny, lol) and I don’t date because of it, so I get pretty sad now and then. Like whenever women ask for me socials or hit on me or whatever I pretty much spiral. Sometimes I just get myself depressed and spiral without any outside factors. That’s not the point of this post though.

When I get depressed, everything feels really hard. Eating, going to lectures, going gym, seeing friends etc, literally everything. This past week, after a girl asked for my socials, I got hella depressed and basically just stayed in bed. It’s rough.

I know I’ll probably have these “episodes” for the rest of my life. I’m not gonna magically grown my penis, so I’ve gotta learn to live with these episodes basically. I want the strength to keep doing what I need and want to do even when It feels worthless.

For example I’m really chubby for my height and want to lose weight and get a good physique. And I’m currently trying to get a degree and need to study. I’ve done none of this at all this week.

Do you have any general advice for coping with the depression and feeling of everything being pointless?

I’ll take every little bit of help.

I do need to go to bed though now, so I’ll read this in the morning. Cheers guys.

I have to be completely honest. I just don't know if I'm attracted to women.

I mean, I am definitely physically attracted to them all my life, in fact, but I just find it really hard to be interested in the vast majority of people in any meaningful way. There's no desire within me to have sex, and I never have. Also, I know that people are extremely diverse and that no two people are the same personality-wise, but I also find it undeniable that there are some gender divides which very few people are able to ignore.

I just don't feel any interest in chasing women or making the first move because I don't really care about being romantic or anything like that. It genuinely just cannot keep my interest. It's clear that the vast majority of women do not approach on their own, but I really, really just have never cared enough to approach anyone in that way. I find it extremely hard to talk about things that don't seem to be meaningful to me. I mean, I've talked to women who were initially interested in me in the past, and I tried to have those conversations be related to shared interests like learning languages or maybe playing instruments or whatever really, but it seemed to me like interest simply dies out really quickly because I'm not someone who cares about flirting all that much. I just find it a bit cringeworthy, and I feel bad for saying that.

I've talked to my female friends about this before, and they usually say that I talk to women as if they're men (sometimes they even just tell me this in passing without me warranting it). It doesn't mean I make crude dick jokes or say anything sexist. They just tell me I behave as if I want a boyfriend in a women's body.

I've never been into hookups or anything like that either. In fact, I've avoided relationships because I know I travel a lot due to going to school in different states and countries, and that lack of permanency makes me feel like I just don't want to invest time in leading someone on who I would have to dump after a while, knowing that I simply don't stay in one place for long periods of time.

That's not even to mention the fact that I ultimately have a place where I would like to move to in the future, but that just means I would be separating someone from her entire family and friend group to live on an island in the Pacific Ocean. In my mind, I just shouldn't be trying to date anyone until I actually move there in my 30s (I'm 23 now) because I just can't be bothered to have temporary relationships. It just doesn't feel right to me.

In general, I can't say I care too much about having a girlfriend or wife. I do get lonely a lot, but I also could just have friends. The only annoying bit is the fact that my family and many others do genuinely judge me for this. It feels humiliating when people act like you're a terrible person for not having a girlfriend.

Maybe this post is a bit convoluted and incoherent. My thoughts on this are kind of like that too. I crave intimacy, but I just genuinely don't feel much pull. No, I'm not gay. I've never felt any attraction towards anyone but women in my life. Is any of this normal, and is any of it my fault?

There’s this girl in my class whom I confessed my feelings to, but she rejected me. That’s okay, and I respect her decision. The problem is that now I feel nervous, uncomfortable, and uneasy whenever I see her.

I don’t talk to her anymore, but even just seeing her brings back these feelings, and I don’t know how to deal with them.

Has anyone else been through the same thing? How did you handle it? What can I do to stop feeling this way and become comfortable around her again?

I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences you guys could share.

For context: 24m, works part time- full time depending on time of year.

I started going to the gym about a month ago and was feeling great, but in the evenings I'm exhausted, not like "I'm sleepy, 5 more minutes", by about 9pm I'm literally falling asleep during whatever I'm doing, be that reading, cooking or walking around.

The problem is when I inevitably fall asleep, I wake up at 4am and can't sleep anymore, still feel tired but not sleepy

I do the morning shift at work 7-3 so I suppose it's not a huge problem, it just feels like a cycle and I don't know how to fix it?

Main issues now - I've had to sell my car and my gym is about 6 miles away so I can't travel to it reasonably (have 3 kids, responsibilities and spending time with my partner) I just need help understanding why this sudden change and what I can do about it to fix it. Going to bed later isn't an option I tried that last night and woke up about an hour ago (4am)

I don’t know how else to describe this but sometimes I just feel like a 28 year old kid. Not in an “identity” sort of way (I know I’m not actually a kid), but more like, I just don’t feel grown up.

I’m 28 and I work as a lawyer in a big law corporate law firm. I’m a good performer and the Partners in the team rely on me. I show up on time, put effort into my work, and I have received excellent feedback in the 3 years I’ve been at my current firm.

I live with my mother but I pay all the bills — electricity, gas, internet, her phone etc. I have done since my dad died. She works too, but she couldn’t afford the bills on her own.

She does the housework but that’s mostly because it’s part of her identity. I don’t neglect cleaning or other chores; it’s just she’s a bit OCD and gets to them before me. I can be a little lazy and therefore be like “she’ll do it”.

I have wanted to move out but I’m from a South Asian background and it is a cultural expectation that someone will look after the mother. My dad died, and my brother moved out and has his own family. So I’m left to do it. I can’t afford to move out and cover 2 houses bills (and my brother would not split my mums with me).

I guess part of it is I don’t feel fully independent because I live at my mums home, but it’s not like I’m getting a free ride. I know lots of people my age who live at home but don’t contribute to the bills etc.

Sometimes I just don’t feel mature, or like I have my shit together.

But some men my age seem a lot more mature and like they have their shit together. Maybe it’s because they have their own families and sometimes I feel like I can’t have that until I’m done looking after my mum. She’s not sick or anything but she’s pretty overbearing, pessimistic, lonely, and doesn’t have anything going on so I feel bad and guilty a lot.

She’s also keeps saying I need to get married and telling me I’m getting old. I don’t have too much of a problem with dating but I think I can procrastinate because I think my type of girl wouldn’t wanna live with my mum, and the type of girl that would (more cultural or religious) is probably not my type (I’m a closeted atheist).

Shits kinda been hurting inside, but I don't want to tell them because no one likes feeling forced to be around a person. I'm more sad they naturally don't want to hang out with me, the same way I do with them.

I almost always hit up the group when doing stuff, because more the merrier, but what hurts is they won't do stuff with just me. If someone else isn't there, we can do it next time - but I know many of them hang out just as two all the time, so it's hard not to take it personally.

Like am I not cool? Am I not interesting enough to hangout with solo? Shit kinda hurts idk

So, like the title says, how do I know if my boyfriend genuinely loves me or loves the way I make him feel? I'm a big lover, a big giver, attentive, flirty, and genuinely enjoy making him feel good (in all ways). He is not as verbally expressive as I am but is really funny, helpful, honest, and makes my life better in a lot of ways.

How do I know if he loves me for me or loves the way I make him feel? I think he may be conflating the two without even realizing it.

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice about my relationship because I'm feeling really lost at the moment, and I'd appreciate hearing other people's experiences and perspectives.

My boyfriend (40M) and I have been together for several years. Outside of conflicts, he is genuinely a lovely man, and I love him very much. That's what makes this situation so difficult for me, because I know his good qualities, but I really struggle with the way he handles disagreements.

Whenever we have an argument or even a relatively small conflict, he sometimes completely shuts down and stops communicating with me for weeks. This isn't the first time it's happened, and honestly, I find it incredibly difficult to deal with.

Our most recent argument started when he sent me a picture showing that he had been putting letters through people's mailboxes asking whether they would consider selling their houses. When I asked him why, he explained that he wanted to live there.

I was confused because we have been together for years, and he hadn't discussed these plans with me beforehand. I couldn't help feeling left out and wondering where I fitted into his future plans.

A couple of weeks later, he mentioned that I could move to the city he wanted to live in. However, this city is quite far away from where I currently live, and moving there would be very difficult for me because of my job.

I told him that it felt like he was already looking for a house for himself and that there didn't seem to be any room for me in his plans. From my perspective, I wasn't trying to start an argument. I just felt that such a major life decision should be something we discuss together, especially after being in a relationship for several years.

The conversation escalated, and he responded by saying something along the lines of, "Okay, then I won't bother you with the question anymore."

Since then, we haven't spoken.

It's now been two weeks. I've tried reaching out several times, apologised for my part in the argument, and explained that I would really like to talk because I think we've misunderstood each other. I've also told him that he can let me know when he's ready to talk.

But I've heard absolutely nothing from him.

I initially gave him space because I thought he might need some time to process everything. However, two weeks of complete silence have left me wondering whether we're even still in a relationship.

What makes this particularly difficult is that this is how he sometimes deals with conflicts. He shuts down for days or even weeks. Yet, outside of these situations, he can be a very loving and caring partner.

I find myself constantly torn between these two sides of our relationship. I love him and don't want to give up on us, but I also find it incredibly painful to be left in this uncertainty whenever we have a disagreement.

I understand that some people need more time and space than others to process their emotions. I'm not expecting us to resolve every disagreement immediately, and I don't want to force him to talk before he's ready. But I struggle to understand how completely cutting off communication for weeks can be a healthy way to handle conflict in a relationship.

I also don't know what else I can do at this point. I've reached out, apologised, and made it clear that I'm willing to talk things through. I feel like I've done my part, but I'm still waiting in silence.

I'd really appreciate some honest advice. I don't even know if I'm single now..

so she basically tried to play me and say that she needed healing and I started talking about it more and then she said well you don’t spend enough money on me basically and I told her what I said you can look at the screenshots yeah I think overall I just dodged a very very, not expensive or even bother some but just stressful situation

Hi, I (f) 23 am currently in a now long-distance relationship with my (M). We've been dating for 3 years, and our relationship has slowly decayed because of me hyper focusing on work, lowkey being depressed and accepting living a boring mundane life, and my avoidant attachment style From what I've asked to do better, I'm a horrible listener, I overthink my actions and words to the point where I do basic things wrong, i honesty dont communicate enough and I just don't make him feel wanted in this relationship.

I don't understand why I don't change, but I don't even change to give myself a better life. I just wake up and keep doing the same things I usually do. I want to change myself. I want to be able to be romantic, spontaneous, and emotionally available with him. However, he's rightfully so lost a lot of patience with me. I've asked for breaks multiple times so I could try to improve myself on my own without getting stuck in the loop. He's said no before, but now I believe he's essentially granted me one more chance. I'm obviously not getting any more support or encouragement anymore, and I'm supposed to figure it out.

Can anyone please give me advice on what huge changes you wish your partner made if they were like me? That could have saved your relationship.

How do you just do better without messing it up and overthinking it in the moment?

I just want as much advice as possible to see the changes as actionable steps I can take. I am planning on going to therapy for myself to figure out my dysfunctional patterns. If you're generally skeptical of my pov and just want to tell me, I'm a horrible partner. I know, but just downvote and move on. I am taking a risk by posting, knowing how I come off I however I am taking that risk to hear advice from outside perspectives. Not bad faith comments. I asked in another subreddit, and someone tried to dm me saying, "You are not motivated." Why would I be here if I could effectively self motivate and fix my actions by myself.

I'm 28F and not a mom, but I sometimes babysit my 2 year old cousin. He has two older brothers who fight and hit each other a lot, and I wonder if roughhousing has become their way of showing affection.

One day, while we were watching TV, my little cousin randomly pretended to hit me. It wasn't aggressive, just playful, and I laughed because I found it cute and spontaneous. But he seemed to feel bad, as if he thought I was laughing at him.

Now I'm curious whether he was just playing or if he's learned to express affection this way from his brothers. Should I gently correct him so he learns that hitting isn't okay, even as a joke? I'm not his mom, so I don't want to overstep, but I also want to be a good influence.

I decided to ask here on r/AskMenAdvice because I honestly wasn't sure where else to ask, and since he's a little boy, I thought getting some male perspectives might be helpful.

Parents and men, have you experienced something similar? Is roughhousing sometimes a toddler's way of showing affection, and how would you handle it?

It's been 4 years since I discovered self improvement and I've experienced no growth in body, mind or soul.

Its just always the same I try to be disciplined, i try to be consistent but nothing works.

I used to try hard from 2022 to late 2024. From late 2024 it's like I psychological gave up. I basically just stopped trying and became worse.

It also hurts that I graduated high school last year so the whole of 2026 I've just been home and I've had a lot of fee time. But now I've wasted it.

Unfortunately next year I have to start university so 2026 was the year where I would have the most free time before the next 6 years or more of my short life.

I don't know what to do. I know I have to change because there things about myself I genuinely don't like and I want to stop being insecure about the same things all the time, but change is hard, I feel sad and meaningless.

I have nothing to show for. No change, no friends, no achievements, no happiness.