Will I always be stuck in limbo? I'm so tired, destroyed, damaged and I feel crazy. I'm so exhausted! That's all.

Once you get into no contact please don’t go back opening wounds and cans of worms come here and read some break up stories you’ll eventually be better.

i've been getting these sex bots in my story views on instagram since probably april. i just recently found out this week that if they all show up on the last/latest story, its probably someone viewing it through a 3rd party site. well, that is exactly what happened last night. the bots skipped all the other stories except for the last one. my ex and i have been separated since february and have remained in no contact ever since.

am i overthinking this, or is my ex using one of these sites to view my stuff?

You still have her pictures, her number, and her memories… but you can't have her back. 🥀

The hardest part is that she's still just one call away, but you can't call her. 🖤

You can keep the memories, but you can't keep the person.

It's strange how someone can be everywhere in your phone but nowhere in your life. 😭

I have found myself posting to reddit about this because it feels like a fever dream. When I was teenager/young adult- I dated a guy who I thought was the end all be all. I am now over 30. I recently moved back to my home town with my spouse and children. Yesterday I reached out to a small company for a quote on a job that my company needs complete. It turns out that the company I reached out for on a quote was owned by the guy I dated years back.

I originally spoke to a receptionist when I called. He must of recognized my name and called me back almost immediately. When my phone rang- I instantly recognized the phone number (he has never changed his cellphone number). I answered the phone and pretended to not know who it was.

Long story short- he went on to ask me about my children, spouse, and family. He told me that he thinks about me all the time. He brought up old music and memories. He then went on to apologize for everything wrong that he had done to me. He told me that anything bad that happened to him and everything bad that will happen- is what he will deserve for how he treated me. He told me that I was a wonderful person and the most kindest person and deserved a life of happiness and that he hoped I had gotten that. He went on to tell me if I ever need anything or if he can ever help me- to call him.

I hung up the phone in shock. I went no contact with this guy after we broke up over 15 years ago. I went through probably 2 years of being heartbroken after our breakup. Now as a full grown adult with a spouse and a parent- I never think of him. He did not owe me all of the things he said but he obviously knows that he was not the best boyfriend back in the day. I believe if I hadn’t gone no contact- I probably would have never gotten the apology. It took over a decade- but it does happen.

For months after my breakup, I was terrible at no contact. I would make it a few days, then relapse late at night by checking their profile or typing out long messages and deleting them.
What finally helped me turn a corner:
Separating no texting from no checking socials. Checking their Instagram was hurting me just as much as texting, but I grouped them together. Splitting them stopped the whole "well I already ruined my streak so I might as well text" mindset.
The 10 minute rule. When the urge hit, I forced myself to wait 10 minutes before doing anything. Most of the time, the acute panic passed before the time was up.
Writing it down without sending it. Dumping everything into a locked note scratched the itch without destroying my progress.
I also ended up using an app called No Contact: Closure that a friend recommended, which helped a ton during the worst weeks.
How are you guys surviving the late nights? What is working for you?

when i was dumped almost 6 months ago, that was the most devastating pain i have ever experienced. i am loved and appreciated my people my entire life and i always show up for them. I literally drive hundreds of miles just to celebrate important events of my family and friend. but for the first time in my life, I wasn’t able to stay even for 30 minutes in a party for my family and friends. i felt like dying inside. And for some days, it felt like, i am just a walking dead that needs to function as i have companie to run.

i chased l, begged and pleaded to fix our relationship. Until one day, my ex’s parents came to my ex’s house to asked me to leave while im outside the gate and wasnt able to go inside and talked to her. that was the most humiliating time of my life but i left quietly and started my healing journey.

it wasn’t easy. my first attempt of no contact last for 7 days and i broke it with one email. This is the worst part of my healing journey. but when I didn’t receive a response, i went to another no contact for 30 days and broke it again with an email. Again, no response. Another attempt was 78 days and within these days, I believed my ex orbited and sent breadcrumbs indirectly but was able to ignore it. but when i found out that she is emotionally down, that was the time i broke my silence and sent her messages for 10 days straight. the usual, no response. Went back again for no contact but this time, im more eager to be healed. I blocked my ex’s accts and restricted the common people from her side. it really killed the hope that my ex will reach out. So for those who are asking if they should block their ex, as long as your reason is to heal and not to play games with them, it’s worth it.

this is the moment my ex posted the new relationship and a part of me died once again but was able to manage it. When my people are discussing it to me, i talked to them seriously that i dont want to hear anything about my ex and thank God they listened. For 12 days, i am getting better. 2 days straight that i woke up without thinking about my ex first thing in the morning. No rapid heartbeats, no tingling sensations, no nervousness. Then boom. That was the time my ex sent a message and called. My heart jumped from my chest and was too nervous. I asked my best friend to answer the call and she did. the call was about logistical stuffs and my best friend asked me to call back so i did. we talked for 9 minutes and i sent her a message not to call me again next time.

for a night i wasnt able to sleep but for a week it’s hard for me to eat. I was affected but was able to manage it better. if that call landed months ago, maybe i chased, beg and pleaded again.

now, im hitting the gym, laughing because of the nonsense video contents, meeting new people and ver focused with my family and friends. my companies are going well.

am i healed? not yet. Am i near to be 100% healed? Not yet. just last night i cried not because i lost my ex or im hurting but because im tired of the up and down emotions. im tired of doing the hardwork to be better. It is like i need to release it all.

but i am better. I am getting back to the old me and im loving myself again. i still think about my ex but the expectations and hopes are gone.

this time, im moving forward without looking back,

for those who are thinking if the pain will end, i don’t know yet because mine is still there. But one thing is for sure, it will subside and you’ll feel better.

Though it hurts so bad, fight for your dignity. Fight for yourself.

always choose the path of healing.

Honestly, I'm still struggling. My 5 year relationship ended in October 2024. My ex moved on in under a year and I last heard from her last year around this time on her birthday (which is also this month). She breadcrumbed me and texted me looking for validation before disappearing again. Haven't heard from her since nor do I really want to since I found out when I last talked to her that she had someone new. It still eats me alive a year later. Ive tried dating, have had a few first dates and a few second dates that went ultimately nowhere. I haven't felt the same kind of connection since. I've been in therapy, been trying to distract myself the best I can and I just can't shake the feeling that I lost my person. Dating seems harder than ever and I'm starting to feel like I just need to accept that maybe that was it for me. The grief hit me again last weekend and it was rough. Not really sure what to do anymore.

My Ex Called Me and Somehow Turned a Normal Conversation Into This

So today my ex called me and we were talking normally

During the conversation I told her that I feel like we broke up for a very silly reason because she was not considering my efforts and instead started humiliating me by calling me a man child and other things

You can check my reposts on my profile to understand the reason behind our breakup

Anyway we were talking normally and she was the one who called me but somehow she brought up the topic of boys being the same and how all boys are cheaters

I am not someone who hates girls and I genuinely respect them but when she started saying that all boys are the same I simply replied by saying that I guess even girls can be the same

I was not trying to say that all girls are cheaters or that girls are worse than boys

I just wanted to point out that you cannot generalize an entire gender based on your personal experiences

But as soon as I said that she started lashing out at me

She called me a man child and told me to come out of the closet and started asking whether I was transgender or fucking gay and how I could even say something like that

Honestly I was confused because I did not understand how saying that both boys and girls can have bad people turned into a personal attack against me

Now I want to know whether I was wrong for replying that way

Was I being immature by responding to her generalization with another generalization or was I right to point out the double standard

I understand that there are good and bad people in every gender and I do not believe that all girls are the same or that all boys are the same

I just want an honest opinion from people here

Was my response wrong or was her reaction completely unnecessary

I'm also looking for advice on maintaining no contact and understanding my situation.

I'm in my mid-20s and met a girl. We hit it off immediately and dated for about a month. We went on great dates, met each other's friends, talked about meeting family, and discussed wanting something long-term. Everything was mutual. We both planned dates. She said she loved all of our dates. She seemed more excited to see me than anyone I'd dated before. I'm usually the one who gets doubts when a relationship starts getting serious, but with her, I genuinely saw a future.

I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. The next day, she broke up with me over text. It was a pretty boilerplate message, and I was completely blindsided.

A few days later, I asked if we could talk in person because I wanted to understand whether I'd missed something. She told me she'd recently started experiencing anxiety and panic attacks for the first time and wondered whether our relationship was causing them. She said I was the perfect guy, that I'd shown her how she deserved to be treated, and that she meant everything she'd said about liking me and wanting a relationship. She was nearly in tears, apologized for how she'd handled things, and admitted she didn't understand why she felt that way either.

My friends say I dodged a bullet, but I don't think she was lying or playing me. I believe she meant what she said, which somehow makes this harder to process. How can someone seem so sure one day and leave the next?

It's been almost two months. Most of that time has been no contact, although we never explicitly agreed to it. I still think about her every day, often for most of the day. It's honestly nauseating how much I miss her and how deeply this has affected me, especially considering how short the relationship was.

I know this is r/ExNoContact, and I understand why no contact is recommended. But I'm struggling with the urge to reach out. Part of me wants to see if she's doing okay, especially with the anxiety. Part of me just wants to talk to her again, even if it's only to catch up, or to get some closure beyond what I got (which was pretty much nothing). We didn't have a fight or an ugly breakup. We talked openly, and I listened to what she had to say. I let myself get vulnerable with her in a way I don't usually do, and now I'm struggling to reconcile how things ended with how they felt while we were together.

For anyone who's experienced something similar, on either side of the breakup, does this make sense to you? Can someone genuinely want a relationship and then abruptly pull away because of anxiety or uncertainty? What happens after that?

And for those who've been in my position, how do you resist reaching out when things didn't end badly and you still care about the person?

I know I can't make her change her mind, and I'm not trying to pressure her. I just miss her, still don't understand what happened, and am finding it much harder to let go than I expected.

Start accepting that your ex is a human being, not a god. Like everyone else, they have their strengths and shortcomings. Romantic feelings are always subjective. If your ex was truly someone special, then isn’t it only logical for everyone else to fall in love with them? Why is it only you? Realistically speaking, you are just the one in only a few hundred thousand people they've come across with that has fallen in love with them.

The person you are talking to has their own set of positive and negative aspects. Realize that if you keep comparing others with your ex, it will bring you to see others more negatively. It clouds your judgement, preventing you from appreciating their good aspects while overemphasizing on their bad aspects. Understand that comparing others with your ex gradually reforms you into being colder and more distant the longer it goes unchecked. It hurts your chances of developing meaningful, positive relationships.

Finally, realize that this comparison habit isn’t broken in one day. You're like a drug addict going through withdrawal. The only thing that relieves the symptoms at the moment is your ex. As time goes on and you take proactive measures to heal, your brain becomes accustomed to its new surroundings.

For the vast majority of people: don't reach out, just hang in there. You will heal. Time does heal all wounds. Day 42 out from a two year relationship with someone who I was going to marry, and I don't really think about him too much these days.

Hey!

So me and my ex broke up 17 months ago. We ended badly with a huge row. Prior to the big row we were pretty happy. During the break up he said his part and didn’t allow me to say mine.

I feel strongly I didn’t get to take accountability for the things I wanted to, I feel strongly I didn’t reclaim my voice. I’ve done therapy, I’ve done a lot. I’ve tried writing letters and burning them. I’ve tried writing poems, doing paintings, etc. I’ve tried speaking to him in the empty chair in therapy and still feel strongly that I need to send it to him.

I thought about attaching it to an email so I don’t ambush him and give him the option to read it.

It’s been a long time though.

He sent me messages in April saying he missed me with videos of us. I didn’t reply. I was annoyed because he didn’t take any accountability. I ignored them. Then in August I replied and said I acknowledged his emails but wasn’t ready for a conversation. He didn’t reply which was expected.

In October I wished him a very contained happy birthday not on the day as I didn’t want to ruin his birthday if he hated me or something, and I also wanted to test the grounds to send a letter. He replied within 2 mins and said thank you and sent me a warm reply said he hoped my dog was okay as he heard he was unwell. It was very contained, polite. It didn’t go any further.

I feel so unsure about sending it. I understand why I want to send it but also I know if I send it I need to be
1. Happy to receive no response
2. Ready I might accept a defensive response
3. Fully accept and know this is the last exchange then need to fully let go and close this chapter.

I have OCD and it feels this needs to happy to close the loop.

What would you do in my shoes? I’m struggling to be certain on it as my opinion changes with menstrual cycle. Is it disrespectful to myself to send a letter to someone who treated me badly in the end? We both ended things badly. It’s so sad.

this tuesday she came back and just to see how my trip to korea and japan was, and honestly the talk we had was super nice we even called for 1 and a half hours and it went with no issues. i told her that i’m sorry for my part and how much reflection i did and i grew as a person when we were apart. she also said how i could i stayed with her when she cussed me out and i said because i loved her, silence for 5 seconds.

anyway the talk as a whole went super well before it i was blocked.

fast forward to saturday i’m blocked again. i reach out through my brothers account because this time i wanna know why she did this. telling me she just wanted to check up on me that’s it and didn’t think i would notice the block. kept talking which she seemed super defensive she said she was scared what i was gonna say and i asked if she was overwhelmed, she said yes. long story short i got emotional told her how i wished we could’ve gotten back to talking and maybe rebuild what we had. she told me she doesn’t habe any feelings and it’s too late. i asked her if she resents me, she said yes.

how? how could you resent me and still check up on me? did she just say yes to answer to what i’ve said? why would she do that?

at the end i still shouldn’t become so emotional and i pushed her away with that. also i ended it with saying “i love you” which i regret, because she doesn’t deserve this when it’s one sided.

i’m blocked again. not back to square one but still hurt for the fact she comes back when she feels like it.

side note i told her she might have avoidant attachment and she took that as a insult, i don’t know if i’m wrong for it but i meant this as something she could look into, since this is not the first time.

i found out recently that my ex is throwing dirt on my name and i plan to go clear that out. he hates me now and i do too. is it better to break nc and speak up or would that end badly?

I really need to get this off my chest and hear other people's opinions because I don't know how to deal with this situation anymore.

My ex and I were in a relationship last year. After we broke up, I returned to work this year at the same hotel where he works. When I first came back, I didn't speak to him at all. I acted as if he didn't exist, even though it was difficult for me emotionally. Eventually, I got used to not talking to him, and I reached a point where I felt like I no longer cared about him.

Then, about five months after returning to work, I found out that he was married and had a child.

I was shocked and angry. I had no idea he had hidden such an important part of his life from me when we were together. Because I had blocked him on WhatsApp, I contacted him and asked if we could meet so I could confront him about it.

When we met, I asked him directly whether he was married. He asked me who had told me, but I told him that it didn't matter who told me and that I just wanted an honest answer. He admitted that it was true.

I asked him why he had been in a relationship with me if he was already married. He told me he had been afraid to tell me because he thought I would leave him.

I told him, of course I would have left him, because being involved with a married man is wrong. I kept reminding him that he was married, that he had a wife and a child, and that I couldn't ignore that fact.

During that conversation, he hugged me and apologized for everything. He told me that his feelings for me had been genuine.

I didn't get back together with him, but I would be lying if I said I felt absolutely nothing. One part of me knew that I shouldn't be involved with a married man, and I didn't want to do something that could hurt his wife. Another part of me still wanted to talk to him, even though I didn't want to resume our relationship.

After that, we met outside again one day. He asked where I was, and I told him I was outside sitting somewhere. He asked whether I wanted him to come and see me. I told him that it was up to him and that I didn't care whether he came or not.

He came anyway. Later, when I was going home, he drove me back. He stayed for a long time and seemed reluctant to leave. He hugged me again and started behaving in ways that reminded me of how he used to act when we were together.

That brought back feelings I had been trying so hard to forget. Despite that, I kept resisting because I knew I didn't want to cross that line again.

Then came the incident that hurt me the most.

One day, we were talking on WhatsApp and arguing about something. I told him that continuing to argue over messages wasn't going to solve anything and that we should meet face-to-face and talk calmly.

He said he would let me know when we could meet. I told him that he couldn't always be the one deciding when we met. He then said I could choose the time myself.

When the day came, I messaged him about meeting. He started asking why we should meet when it was raining and cold. He suggested meeting in a hotel room instead.

I refused. I know myself, and I was afraid that if we were alone together in a hotel room, I might give in to my remaining feelings for him. I didn't want that to happen, especially because he was married. I wanted to talk to him, not put myself in a situation where I might do something I would regret.

I suggested meeting at the beach instead. He kept bringing up the cold weather and the wind, and he suggested the hotel room again. I refused again and told him we could meet at the beach or somewhere else.

Eventually, he told me to choose the place. I chose the beach.

After that, he stopped replying.

I messaged him again, telling him I was going out and that we should meet there. I also tried to clarify where we were supposed to meet. I waited for two hours at the beach, sending messages and calling him repeatedly, but he never showed up or answered me. My calls weren't going through properly, and I couldn't get an explanation.

I was sitting by the sea, crying and wondering why he had left me waiting there like that. I felt abandoned and humiliated. It was an awful feeling, especially because I had only wanted to have one honest conversation with him.

The next morning, he turned the situation around and made it seem like I was the one at fault. He said I had decided on my own to go to the beach even though he had told me he didn't want to meet there because of the cold and wind. He also said he hadn't seen my last message, had fallen asleep, and had his phone on silent.

I still don't know whether that was the truth. Part of me suspects that he never really wanted to meet me in the first place, especially because I had refused to meet him in a hotel room. But I can't know for sure.

After that, we argued again.

At one point, I told him that someone had asked me for his phone number, but I hadn't given it to her. I reminded him that he was married and had a child, and that he was my ex. He asked why I hadn't given her his number.

I asked him whether he would give my number to someone else if they asked for it. He said that would be difficult and that he probably wouldn't. When I told him that I felt the same way, he said it wasn't the same situation.

Then he started asking me repeatedly, "What are we? What are we?"

I didn't want to answer because, in my mind, he was a married man. I kept reminding him of that fact, but he insisted that he wanted an answer even if he was married.

He then asked whether I wanted him to be my boyfriend or my friend.

I told him I had never been friends with an ex-boyfriend before, and I didn't know what to say. I was confused because I still had feelings for him, but I didn't want to be in a relationship with a married man. I didn't want to be the reason another woman suffered.

Eventually, we started arguing. He said he didn't want to continue fighting and that we should speak calmly and respectfully. I agreed that we should talk properly.

But while I was still typing messages to him, I discovered that he had blocked me.

He blocked me everywhere.

I was shocked because I didn't understand why he would do that without giving me a chance to finish the conversation. I contacted him from another account and explained that I wanted us to meet one last time, clear things up, and let me move on with my life. I told him I didn't want to argue; I just wanted to understand what had happened.

I also told him that if I had done something wrong without realizing it, I wanted him to explain it to me. I felt hurt that he had treated me as if I were his enemy when all I wanted was a conversation.

He read my message but didn't reply. Then he blocked that account too.

The thing that makes this situation even harder is that we work at the same hotel, so I see him every day.

After he read my message, I noticed him looking at me through the reflection in a window, even though I wasn't looking directly at him. I don't know what that means, and I don't want to assume that he still has feelings for me just because he looks at me.

I am not trying to get back together with him. I know he is married, and I don't want to be involved in that situation again. I just wanted an explanation and a chance to close this chapter of my life peacefully.

But now I feel hurt, angry, confused, and exhausted. I had already spent months trying to move on from him before I discovered the truth about his marriage. I had finally started to feel okay, and then everything came back.

Part of me wants him to realize that he has lost me for good. I want him to look at me one day and see that the girl who kept trying to talk to him, who wanted answers and who was hurt by his actions, is no longer there.

I want to reach a point where I can look into his eyes and feel absolutely nothing.

But another part of me is still hurt because I don't understand why he treated me this way. I don't know whether he genuinely cared about me, whether he was just afraid of losing the attention I gave him, or whether he simply doesn't want to take responsibility for what happened.

I know I should stop trying to contact him, especially after he has blocked me everywhere. I don't intend to contact him from another account again. But it's difficult to let go when I see him every day at work and when things ended without the conversation I had hoped for.

I would really appreciate honest advice from people who have been through something similar.

1. Why would someone ask whether I still love them and insist on knowing what we are, even though they are married, and then suddenly block me?
2. Do you think he genuinely had feelings for me, or was he just keeping me emotionally attached to him?
3. How can I move on when I have to see him at work every day?
4. How do I stop caring about whether he regrets losing me and reach a point where I genuinely feel nothing when I see him?

I don't want him back. I just want my peace back.

Like everyone I had a very messy break up just around this time last year. Last year on her birthday I left an important interview for college placement without telling my parents just so that I can come to my hometown to celebrate my ex's birthday, only to find out that she is talking to her ex and this was the reason that she started ghosting me.

After that we stopped talking and she didn't even wish me on my birthday. But during summer break we met again because our families are really close and sometimes it gets really tough to avoid functions because of our parents.

Now her birthday is coming up next week and i am curious whether I should wish her or not.

I fell in love with someone I met naturally at the gym, and what made it feel so special was how unforced everything seemed at first. She was my gym crush, someone one year below me, and through our small interactions, gestures, conversations, and time around each other, we gradually developed feelings. By June, we started dating, and for those two months, I became deeply attached to her. We had dates, played billiards, went to cafés, looked for flowers for her church, studied together until dawn, laughed, talked, and created small memories that felt extraordinary to me. I genuinely believed she could be someone I would keep, and losing her felt almost impossible to imagine. Then, on August 17, she ended the relationship, telling me she couldn't handle the pressure, responsibilities, expectations, and the feeling that she needed to become someone she wasn't. She told me I hadn't done anything wrong, that I had been kind, patient, gentle, and sincere, and asked me not to blame myself. I still chased for a while, hoping there was something I could do to change her mind, until eventually I went no contact and tried to accept that she was gone. After about a month of no contact, I was considering sending her a simple message to ask how she was and wish her well for her college. Instead, I decided to look at her story first, and I saw what appeared to be confirmation that she was back with her ex. That moment hit differently. It was painful, but it also gave me a kind of relief because the possibility I had secretly kept alive, that maybe she still missed me, maybe there was still something between us, maybe one day she would come back, suddenly became much harder to believe. Looking further into her ex's highlights, I saw what appeared to be photos and dates of them together from January through April 2026, shortly before I met her in May. This made me question the timeline she had previously given me about their breakup and led me to suspect that perhaps she had never been completely finished with him, that I may have been a rebound, or that there were things about their relationship she hadn't been honest with me about. I can't prove every detail of what happened, but seeing her with him made me feel like I finally understood the reason behind the breakup: perhaps she didn't simply leave because she couldn't handle our relationship, perhaps she left because she was returning to someone from her past. That realization hurt, but it also freed me. For weeks I had been asking whether I wasn't handsome enough, funny enough, big enough, successful enough, or simply enough for her. Now I could see that maybe the answer had never been about my worth at all. I was grieving not only her but the feeling of being loved, chosen, excited, and having someone to look forward to. Even now, I still miss certain moments, the billiard table, our laughter, our little challenges, the feeling of having someone beside me. But I'm beginning to understand that I don't necessarily miss her as much as I miss who I was and what life felt like when I had someone. If she truly did return to her ex, then that's her choice and her life. I don't need to investigate every detail or understand every inconsistency to move forward. Whatever the complete truth is, the relationship ended, I survived the worst part of it, and I'm beginning to realize that I don't have to keep staring at a closed door. She was a chapter that changed me, but she doesn't get to determine what the next chapter becomes.

I know checking socials is nothing but hurt for me; i found out my ex of 2.5 years is engaged to a friend he talked about while we were in together. they started dating less than a month after he left me for the second time. we were still talking at that point, he even wished me a happy birthday 3 months after our breakup swearing he wasn’t with anyone new despite me seeing them walking tg hand in hand a few weeks prior. he blocked me 5 months after the breakup for no reason as I haven’t reached out or texted him. he continues to unblock and block. please don’t lecture me on how checking socials is not no contact…. I know I know. I just feel so betrayed that he could change for someone else so quickly when he was beyond abusive to me (ie isolating me from my friends; punching a wall next to my face etc) for two years. anyone have any insight what is going through his mind? I needed to rant bc my friends and family are sick of me talking about him when they hate him for what he put me through:/

Hi - I've been out of the relationship I am referring to in the title for a bit less than two years now, and recently I logged on a messaging platform that I don't use very often but used to use while I was with this ex (I have them as a friend on there).

In the platform, you can indicate what music you're listening to without needing to direct this to anyone in particular. She's used this before to kind of send me indirect "messages" after we went no contact by indicating songs she was listening to that were super applicable to our break up/relationship (many were songs that had been "ours" during the relationship, or ones she had told me she was listening to after we broke up but before no contact).

I would try not to look cause it made it tougher for me to move on too (seeing all the songs and stuff) so I stopped after a while and would only occasionally check back in out of curiosity. It had been about 6 months since the last time I logged into the platform or saw anything that seemed related to me, until a few days ago. As soon as I got online, she connected to her spotify and played a playlist she had created for me after we broke up (I know this with certainty), and after that a couple of songs she'd play back when we had first gone no contact, whose lyrics are to the effect of "I still love u, let's try". I know this doesn't necessarily mean they want me back, but I really doubt it's random. If they are indeed still lingering I'd wish they would move on but I don't know if there's anything I can do about it.

The relationship had its ups and downs and certainly got very populated by "downs" by the end of it, but it did teach me a lot of things & did bring me a lot of happiness in the beginning. I wouldn't want to go back, but I wish the best for them. I know I probably should just leave it and do nothing, but I want a second opinion.

What would you do?

My ex and I were together for almost four years. We previously broke up for 3–4 months before reconciling, but I recently ended things again.
Our relationship had several trust issues. Last year, while my dad was being diagnosed with brain cancer, my ex lied for three days about who he traveled with. I found out through social media.
Another incident involved discovering a video of him at a rave dancing with another girl on his shoulders. He later admitted he was so high that he didn’t realize he was crossing a boundary in our relationship.
During the confrontation, I took his phone, and when he tried to get it back, I physically held him back. I also scratched him during the incident. I recognize that my actions were unacceptable regardless of what happened beforehand. I’ve since been attending therapy and working on my reactions during conflict.
We eventually tried rebuilding our trust. He promised to stop attending raves and distancing himself from certain friends, but recently considered going again.
I’m also recovering from nicotine and THC dependence, while he continues smoking. I’ve compromised on certain boundaries because I wanted our relationship to work.
Over time, I became increasingly resentful, anxious, and emotionally detached. I started realizing that our lifestyles and expectations for the future might not be compatible.
I finally ended things because I felt emotionally exhausted and unhappy, despite still loving him.
My biggest realization is that I might love the familiarity of having him in my life more than I actually love being in the relationship.
Now I’m sad, anxious, and second-guessing myself. I’m especially afraid of getting lonely and returning to the relationship, which contributed to our reconciliation last year.
How do you distinguish unresolved resentment from genuinely falling out of love? And how do you cope with missing someone when you know the relationship wasn’t making you happy?
I’m open to honest criticism of my own behavior, too.
TL;DR: I ended an almost four-year relationship after repeated trust issues, lifestyle differences, and growing resentment. I also made serious mistakes during arguments and am working on them in therapy. I still love him, but I’m afraid I’m confusing love with attachment and familiarity.

last tuesday we talked after being blocked. the talk was great and honestly felt super good. even had a call. then i got blocked.

i reached out because i was confused and honestly saddened. i asked why and she said she only wanted to check up on me. things got emotional for me, by me telling her i wished we could’ve worked it out and i changed much over the course of 6 months. she said she had no feelings and i asked if she resents me. she said yes.

before thst she said she was overwhelmed maybe she said it because of the moment and because she was emotional since she’s done it before.

how can you check up on someone and simultaneously resent them? how?

I’m struggling big time. I want to contact him and see him because I know he will let me and I know it would make me feel so good in the moment.

Hey everyone,

My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. Our relationship lasted almost one year. The last week we spent together was mixed. During the week things were great. There was a lot of cuddling and lovey dovey stuff. But during the weekend, things changed. There was an accumulation of smaller problems, misunderstandings and frustrations rather than one big argument. You know the thing. You get up on the wrong side of bed and nothing is wrong per se, but every small thing just annoys you. Looking back, most, if not all, of it could easily have been avoided but instead it turned into a fight and then we broke up.

For the past month and a half, I have been having a hard time coming to terms with it. Mainly because I still love her a lot, and I feel like there's still something to build on. I tried bringing it up right after the breakup, but it only seemed to annoy her more. Then she wanted to go no contact, and she blocked me on every platform.

And here's what I'm struggling with. I still want to work on this. I know that I should respect her wish for no contact, but at the same time, the more time passes, the more I feel like I'm losing her. A while ago, i tried reaching out but it got met with annoyance.

Should I stay no contact and pray to whatever deity is out there that she'll someday reconsider, or should I contact her one last time? I want to reach out and see if I can at least get her to talk to me, but I don't want to annoy her even more.

In my opinion, if something can be rebuilt, then why not try? I feel like these days, people are too quick to throw something meaningful away and move on to something else, just to avoid putting in the work.

I know that all of this heavily depends on the situation and the reasons for the breakup, but I need some advice on what to do. Have any of you guys ever broken no contact and managed to get your ex back by doing so? Or would you consider breaking no contact again a bad idea and should i just cut my losses and get out of there?

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Day 8 and I'm losing it.

Day 1 I was strong. Day 8 I'm arguing with my own brain.

I've typed "hi" and deleted it 10 times. Unblocked him to check his last seen, blocked again like nothing happened.

Saw a couple in the supermarket today and almost cried

Someone tell me when does this get easier?