Please resist the urge to reach back out. Do not shatter your silence just because loneliness creeps in during a quiet evening and tricks you into believing you need to hear their voice. I understand completely. There were countless nights I sat frozen with my phone in my hand, debating whether to type that message and convincing myself that this time would somehow be different.

It only ever left me feeling more empty.

I actually caved about a month ago. I told myself I just needed some finality and that a brief conversation would bring me peace. It did not. The exact same dynamic resurfaced immediately, leaving me disappointed all over again.

That was the exact turning point when I knew I had to break the cycle.

Since then, I have poured my energy into my own life. I am picking up extra shifts, hitting the gym regularly, catching up with loved ones, writing in my journal, rewatching my favorite movies, and staying active whenever the temptation to reconnect flares up.

The absence still aches. Some days are still heavy. I am not completely healed overnight. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that reopening communication every time I feel lonely will never take away the pain of the breakup.

And quite frankly, I am exhausted from staring at a screen waiting for a notification. I refuse to let my happiness hinge on whether they reply or what they choose to say.

Maybe they return one day, or maybe they stay gone. I cannot control that. I am actively trying to let go of those thoughts because I refuse to spend the upcoming months waiting around for a door that might never open.

If you are currently debating whether to reach out, pause and put the phone down. Find any distraction possible. Call a family member, step outside for fresh air, take a long hot bath, put on a comedy, or type out what you want to say in your notes app instead. Just buy yourself a little time before you make a move you will wish you could take back.

I promise the weight lifts over time. It feels unbearable right now, but this pain is temporary.

6 MONTHS LATER UPDATE:

Wow. I am amazed by how much my world has transformed. Things truly do improve. I moved into a place of my own, secured a career I actually look forward to, and surrounded myself with a support system that shows up. I feel lighter and at peace. I am still unattached, and I love it. I am taking a break from dating because my life feels full already.

My ex did try to reconnect down the road. We spent time together a couple of times casually, but I quickly recognized it was holding me back. I communicated that I had to prioritize my own well-being and walked away for good. They still reach out every once in a blue moon, but it no longer shakes me. I do not even need to overthink it anymore.

I stand by every word I shared before. Maintaining distance saved me. Pouring that energy back into myself changed everything. I am proud of the person looking back at me in the mirror, and I am genuinely thankful the relationship ended. They were not meant to be my forever, and that is completely fine.

Also, someone named Shannon in this subreddit recommended Uncling, a breakup recovery app, during my healing process. It honestly helped me stay consistent with no contact and self improvement, so thank you to Shannon for sharing it.

Soon it will be 20 years since I was dumped after 8 years together. It was especially difficult because I had no support system near me, but after a few years, tons of pills and lots of other curve balls, I begun to get back on my feet. 

It also took several relationships until I retired my go bag, but eventually I found my person, got married, had kids and so on. Make no mistake, I love my person, my family and how my life turned out.

A therapist once told me it takes as long as the relationship lasts for one to forgive, and twice as long to forget. I am still waiting.

I doubt they remember me, but I do know that even if they did and somehow we crossed paths, they would pretend not to see me (They used to do it with close friends after minor falling outs). Yet, all it takes is a moment of distraction, the interval between moving from one task to another and there they are, living rent free in my head.

Maybe it is because they were my first real love, maybe it is because we made a big life change together, maybe I am just a fool or more than likely, all 3. 

But aside from sending an email to an address I know they no longer use to celebrate an anniversary of the big project we accomplished together (yes, I was very drunk), I have kept NC. Mostly because as someone else posted, NC is for me. For them it is a normal day. It was true on the day of the breakup and it is true today.

And for some of us, apparently NC never becomes a normal day.

The relationship ended. The lore continues. 💀

My ex has apparently entered the “let me see what they're up to” phase again.

No texts. No conversations. Just random appearances around my social media like a recurring character nobody renewed the contract for.

At this point, I'm not in a relationship. I'm in a post-credit scene.

Has anyone else's ex ever returned as a spectator instead of a participant? 😭

Saw my flaws, most specifically my anxious attachment. I got psychological help for myself, especially towards my ADHD and anxiety.

Learning to control my eating habits, my impulsivity, my emotional reaction and finally see the relationship as it is. Bad for both of us.

While my ex was textbook DA, I also hurt her a lot. Her behaviors caused me to have a traumabond. I noticed then, I didn't suffer for the break up, I'm suffering from the future I thought I had and the treatment I received.

For now on, I will never see anything related to her anymore. Definitive block to avoid triggering my traumabond.

One thing I noticed (great news!!), I am not getting triggered by lack of effort, I just mirror them or give them space.

I 25F just got dumped by a man 27M. He broke things off with me because we were moving too fast. He was recently (6 months) separated from his ex who his was getting divorced from.

Now before you get into me and tell me I’m dumb for even entertaining that. Let me explain. I’ve been on the dating scene for around a couple years now and when the spark is there I can’t ignore it. I fully went into this relationship knowing that it may not work out due to his circumstances and it being so soon.

We started things and I felt such a strong connection with him. I didn’t even have to try it was all natural. I was never not myself with him. I trusted him and saw a future with him.

Things started to fall apart around the 1 month mark. I know it’s dumb to get so attached so quickly but I couldn’t help it. He just felt so right.

He broke things off with me but I told him I loved him. I did, I still do but I won’t let myself get hung up on him.

After we broke things off the first time he came back and for about 3 weeks we were happy. He even said he loved me back but we needed to take things slow. I understood. I was willing to do anything for him. But, I got so happy and excited. I knew he loved me and he admitted it. I was on cloud 9.

A couple days after he told me he loved me he posted a pic on Instagram. I knew I shouldn’t but I couldn’t help myself I wanted the world to know he was mine. I commented “you look so cute!”

I knew I shouldn’t have done that we literally just talked about moving fast and here I am declaring to the world he is mine. What am I doing?

After that things changed he got distant and two days after that he broke things off with me. Now I’m not a saint. Break up with me one time I’m nice break up with me twice I get nasty and hurtful. So I was. He blocked me on everything. I have no way of reaching him. Do you think he’ll come back? I want him to even though I know it’s not good for me.

My ex and I were each other’s first love. We broke up 10 months ago, mainly because of timing and our capacity to maintain a relationship then. There was no third party involved, and the breakup was respectful, even though it hurt.

When we last spoke in March, we both said we still loved and cared about each other. It’s now been seven months without contact. I removed him from some social media because I thought he wanted distance, and he blocked me on some platforms too.
We never explicitly agreed not to contact each other again. I’m worried there may have been a misunderstanding—that my attempt to give him space came across as wanting him out of my life. I also wonder whether he assumes I’ve moved on or have a boyfriend, even though I don’t. I haven’t heard that from him; it’s something I worry about.

I still have feelings for him and would consider trying again if we’re both ready and the things that led to our breakup have changed. Part of me wants him to reach out first so I know he wants to reconnect, but I also wonder whether we’re both waiting because we think the other wants space.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you decide whether to reach out, leave the next move to them, or let go? If you reconciled, what actually changed that made the relationship work the second time?

do you think this is a sign that she still cares, or am i overthinking it? what does she want?

Honestly I thought I had all the closure I needed, a little over a year and a half ago I (20f) sent him a final message. I didn't expect a reply, after how things ended I knew I didn't deserve one either. Now however I moved back to the town we met and a part of me can't help but wonder If bumping into him or just reaching out would be a bad thing. I know plenty of people on here say not to reach out but after 2 years no contact (minus my text) it's stayed with me; a part of me holds onto that need for closure and I can't seem to let it go. Is it wrong of me to want that even though I know I don't deserve it?

she recently reached out to check up on me. we talked and called even, it went well. even her telling me she missed me as a friend or even muttering boyfriend. after that day 3-4 days passed with no texts

then i was blocked

i stupidly reached out to her through my brothers account asking why and for what i was blocked. she was just checking in and seeing how i was and didn’t think i would notice, yeah right. it got emotional and it ended up me asking if she resents me, she said yes and i was hurt. ended up getting blocked and saying i love you. she was overwhelmed and i did push my emotions onto her even knowing that. i was just so sad about it

then 2 days later i create a fake account. which i tell her what she did was mean and why she would reach out if she resents me. i said i wished for accountability from her side when we last talked since that was what i’ve did. and told her i’m moving on but if in the future we could ever have a honest talk and maybe start fresh i would be open.

i feel stupid i feel dumb. i messed up by finding 2 work arounds and now i think this is fully over.

When is it gonna go away these memories gahhAaaaHhh

I'm over it, I swear I'm over it, I'm over her , I swear just let me go.

She didn't even care man fucking stopppp!!! it's been years let it the fuck goooo what pointless reason do I latch onto this heartbreak why am I pouring energy into the fucking past!!

It sucks, because I don't want to forget about them. I have a hard time understanding how some could move on pretending like somebody who was very important to them and meant a lot to them never existed. I refuse to do that. They were a huge part of my life and I still care about them and wish the best for them. Everyday I hope they are doing well, and I wish I could catch up, just to know what they're up to. And what's even worse is that they wanted to stay friends, but I could not take it at the moment due to how incredibly hurt and traumatized I was. I needed time to heal. And after much time alone, I've realized that I still miss them. Not romantically, but platonically. I miss their humour, and their interests, and the way their brain worked. I miss our inside jokes and the stupid things we found hilarious. But now I can't go back. They blocked me. Last thing I told them was to not communicate or contact me, and so they blocked me. I don't know what to do. I've never blocked anyone and have never been blocked. With all my past exes, hook ups, situationships, etc, I always stayed in contact with them or at the very least casual/civil. This was the first time I got out of a relationship not being able to even look at them, and now not being able to contact them. I know one day I will run into them again, and I will go up to them and ask them how they are. I care. I want to know. But until then, I have to remain in mystery and accept the unknown.

She ended our turbulent five-year relationship five months ago. We lived together for four of those years. It took up most of my 20s.

I still get surprised by the feeling of waking up and realizing she isn’t next to me. Coming home to what used to be our cute little apartment now just feels like a four-walled box I’m surviving in until the lease is up. The ghost doesn’t slam doors or rearrange furniture. It just sits in the places she used to occupy and waits for me to notice.

Our cat has been the hardest part. We adopted him when we were still new. He was never just a pet. He was proof that we built something small and ordinary and good together. Every time he curls into the exact spot on the couch that used to be hers, I have to decide whether to look away or let it hurt. He still looks for her. So do I.

The last time she texted me was four months ago. She said she’d let me know when she was ready to see me. It’s been radio silence since. I’ve been partially blocked. Being half-blocked feels like standing in a hallway with half the lights still on. It makes me feel insignificant sometimes. Like maybe I was never that important to her after all.

I expected bitterness to show up eventually. It never did. What stayed instead is quieter and harder. I can hold the reasons it ended in one hand and the fact that I still love the person she was in the other. Both are true. Neither cancels the other out.

I miss the stupid little things the most. Peeling her orange. Reaching for the second mug in the morning before I catch myself. The made-up words only we knew. The way she’d stop in the middle of the street just to take a picture of the sunset.

I’m five months out now. The anxiety has evened out. I know I’ll be okay. I’ve been focusing on getting back to myself, spending time with friends, and taking care of my health. But I still see her when I close my eyes and smile through it. Not because it feels good… but because it still feels true.

I’m not waiting for her. I’m just still learning how to stop looking for her in rooms she no longer enters.
The porch light in my heart for her will never be off.

Has anyone else had a breakup where the anger never really showed up, just this quiet missing? What’s the smallest reminder that still hits you — and did it eventually fade, or does it still stick around?

I feel like the past decade of being with her was so hard and just an all around terrible experience that I feel like the caveman that was frozen for the past decade and that time of my life just isn’t there. It sounds weird but like I just draw a blank. Honestly I feel better and bad that it’s hard to recall anything about our relationship for so long but I just finished defrosting yesterday 🤷

Bonjour à tous, je vous écris aujourd’hui suite à ma récente séparation. Je souhaite me mettre à nu et à recevoir vos réponses et surtout de personnes qui se sont déjà séparés, qui ont essayés de passer à autre chose et qui pourtant se sont retrouvés après un certain temps. Je sais que ça n’arrive pas souvent mais je tiens à connaître votre histoire pour m’éclairer.

J’ai déjà eu plusieurs relations, plusieurs ruptures. Mais celle-ci est la première que je vis de cette manière. C’est aussi la seule de mes ex-partenaires que j’ai autant aimé. Je dis ceci en toute objectivité non car j’essaie de m’accrocher. Je viens de sortir d’une phase où lorsqu’elle m’a annoncer qu’elle voulait passer à autre chose pour de bon, j’ai tenté d’apaiser la situation, je suis très à l’écoute, très empathique et compréhensif. J’ai écouté tout ce qu’elle avait à me dire. Cependant la voyant comme la future mère de nos enfants, mon cœur lui a refusé d’entendre. Suite à de longue discussions j’ai réussi à calmer un petit peu la situation, ça commençait tout doucement à aller mieux, un jour passe, deux jours passent, nous reparlons, nous nous taquinons, on se donne de petites attentions l’un à l’autre, nous partageons nos corps mais je sens qu’il y a toujours une gêne. Dans ma lancée un matin, je me réveille tôt, je pars acheter ses fleurs préférées je lui écris mes sentiments sur papier dans sa langue natale qui est très très complexe et que je ne parle pas énormément. Je lui commande son café préféré, je lui fais à manger, je prépare des petits jeux à faire pour raviver la complicité et je pars pour son appartement. Je toque à sa porte.. Et aucune réponse. Je suis donc un peu surpris car c’est son jour de repos et elle dort souvent plus tard. J’attends quelques minutes, je frappe à la porte à nouveau mais rien. Je l’appelle sur son numéro, je regarde sur les réseaux et suprise, je suis bloqué de partout. Je ne comprends pas vraiment en présumant qu’elle n’est pas chez elle et j’attends donc devant sa porte pendant 6 heures en attendant qu’elle rentre chez elle. Lors de sont retour, elle est en pyjama, elle me voit et comprend que j’étais là depuis un moment, que je savais qu’elle n’était pas là et qu’elle n’avait pas dormi chez elle. Je vois à son visage que ça ne va pas. Elle me fait entrer et je lui pose donc la question « Où es-tu aller dormir ? » et après quelques seconde de silence, elle me dit que cela faisait depuis notre dispute qu’elle parlait à une nouvelle personne et que cette nuit elle était chez lui. Je lui pose donc la question pour savoir si il s’est passé quelque chose et évidemment, oui. Je ferme les yeux, je ne m’énerve pas, je ne hausse pas le ton. Je pleure simplement et je m’excuse auprès d’elle. Je lui dis qu’elle n’a pas à se sentir mal de faire ce qu’elle a fait. Elle essaie de me réconforter avec des caresses mais à ce moment là pour moi tout est brisé. Je prends 5 minutes pour la calmer et je me lève pour partir. Juste avant de sortir elle me demande si je veux aller manger avec elle une dernière fois et ne plus sachant quoi faire j’accepte. Nous partons tels quel manger. Lors de ce repas nous avons eu la discussions la plus sincère que nous ayons jamais partagé. Sur le trajet et pendant le repas je prends sur moi et je détend l’atmosphère pour au moins partir en laissant une belle image. On rigole un peu, on ne mange pas vraiment. Puis elle me regarde et me pose des questions sur les erreurs que nous avions commis dans le passé, chaque erreur une à une, et nous parlons. Pour la première fois depuis le début de la séparation, elle pleure, je vois qu’elle a mal. Elle me demande pourquoi ces derniers jours j’ai été irréprochable, parfait, et surtout pourquoi je fais tout ça seulement maintenant. Je m’en veux terriblement, je m’approche d’elle et la prend dans les bras, je lui dis à quel point je l’aime, à quel point je comprend sa frustration et a quel point je vais regretter toute ma vie ces erreurs. Nous nous calmons et demandons l’addition. On se lève et s’apprête à partir chacun de notre côté. Je lui demande si c’est la dernière fois ou non que l’on va se rencontrer et elle me répond qu’elle ne veut pas me dire oui, mais elle ne veut pas me dire non aussi. Pour moi cela veut dire qu’elle a pris sa décision, elle veut passer à autre chose à l’heure actuelle mais ne sait pas si elle prend la bonne décision et ne veut donc pas fermer le futur. On se fait un dernier câlin et cette fois-ci, c’est un vrai câlin, elle me serre fort contre elle. Je lui dis que si jamais elle change d’avis elle sait où me trouver et elle acquiesce. Je prends une direction opposé à elle pour rentrer et une fois que visage regarde dans une autre direction, je relâche tout, mon visage se couvre de larmes en 0,5 seconde, ça dégouline de partout jusqu’à mon torse. Je me tourne vers elle une dernière fois et elle voit mon visage. Et je pars.

Suite à ça je ne l’ai pas contacté. En revanche elle m’a appelé en appel vidéo depuis son compte Instagram secondaire (elle m’avait bloqué de partout) pendant qu’elle travaillait le soir même, elle ne disait rien, j’avais le sentiment qu’elle voulait simplement ma présence, j’ai donc souris, rigolé un petit peu pour qu’elle se sente mieux et après 5 minutes elle raccroche. S’en passe quelques minutes de plus et elle me rappelle et reste avec moi pendant 40 minutes. Elle me montre à ses collègues, rigole avec moi et il y a même des remarques que ses collègues qui disent « Ah il est vraiment beau ton copain, etc.. » et elle sourit sincèrement. Moi après ça, mon cœur s’emballe, je le dis que peut-être il y a une dernière chance. Je laisse l’appel se terminer naturellement et j’en parle à mon meilleur ami qui est un ami que nous avons en commun. Et là désespoir, apparement elle m’appelait bien que je n’avais rien demandé car elle ne voulait pas que je sois triste. Et elle confirme à notre ami en commun qu’elle tient sincèrement à passer à autre chose et surtout à essayer une nouvelle relation avec cette nouvelle personne. Je le prends au pied de la lettre et effaces ce que j’écrivais. A la place je lui ai envoyé « Va faire ta vie comme tu le souhaites, ne t’en fais pas pour moi. Je suis heureux que tu ai pu rencontrer ces quelques derniers jours la personne que je veux dorénavant être pour toi. Et cette nouvelle version de moi sera toujours là pour toi. Maintenant va, et sois heureuse. Je vais passer à autre chose moi aussi pour respecter ton choix, je ne t’écrirais plus pour que tu puisse partir librement, mais sache que mon cœur continuera toujours de battre pour toi, je t’aimerais toujours et tu seras toujours celle que je choisirais, j’espère que tu le comprends sincèrement. Si nous nous revoyons dans le futur, je serais ce nouvel homme que tu as tant rêvé d’avoir. Avec tout mon amour, aurevoir. » J’ai attendu qu’elle le lise et une fois lu, je l’ai supprimé (pas bloquée) de mes contacts. Elle ne m’a pas répondu et ne m’a jamais débloqué de ses réseaux sociaux principaux (cela fait 2 jours). Je n’ai sans doute pas fait les choses parfaitement mais ça n’a pas été une fin bâclée, au contraire, c’était poétique et beau je trouve. Nous avons étés tout deux sincère à la fin et avons fermé la page.

Aujourd’hui j’ai décidé de vraiment moi aussi passer à autre chose, rencontrer de nouvelles personnes, retourner à la salle de sport, faire ma vie tout en arrêtant de l’inclure. Cependant mon cœur lui appartient toujours et j’ai longuement réfléchi à ça. Je voudrais continuer à l’aimer mais sans jamais lui en faire part. L’amour est tellement un sentiment merveilleux et je tiens à honorer ces sentiments jusqu’au bout. Je compte devenir une meilleure personne pour moi-même et sincèrement pour moi-même. Pas pour elle. Mais malgré tout je veux croiser son chemin dans quelques mois juste pour qu’au moins elle puisse constater le changement que j’aurais fait en total silence. Je ne me mettrais pas en avant, je serais simplement naturel sans essayer de bien paraître et je pense que cela aura un impact. Si cet impact a lieu et qu’elle soit avec cette nouvelle personne ou célibataire, cela pourrait bien raviver quelque chose et assez pour qu’elle fasse un premier pas. Et si jamais il ne se passe rien, j’aurais malgré tout atteint mon objectif de devenir meilleur pour la prochaine personne. Bien que ce sont mes sincères intentions, aujourd’hui je travaille encore sur le deuil de la relation, ça ne se guérit pas en seulement quelques jours. C’est pourquoi aussi dans toute cette confusion qui m’empêche de fermer l’œil, je voulais connaître vos histoire de réconciliation, dans quelles circonstances ça a pu avoir lieu, si vous aussi l’un d’entre vous a été voir ailleurs entre temps, si tout semblait perdu à 100% et malgré tout vous vous êtes retrouvés. Je voudrais vraiment apprendre de vos histoires personnelles. Je sais que c’est personnel mais je me suis ouvert à vous dans les moindre détails, s’il vous plait partagez moi vos expériences.

Merci beaucoup !

I met this guy, I’m going to call him B, online out of nowhere, and developed feelings for the first time in years. He seemed like he wanted to know me, we wanted to spend a lot of time together and for the first time I actually felt wanted and I wanted him too.

He was in a bad place at the time of our connection, he said he loved me extremely early on when we didn’t really know each other, and at occasions he was passively suicidal. I was extremely cautious about this and didn’t want him to use me as an escape from his depression, so despite all of the closeness and vulnerability I tried offering him I tried waiting up until he’s in a safer better place, and seeing how things go in real life to be sure

That said, I was affectionate with him, I repeatedly provided him with reassurance during his low moments, I would make gifts for him and little ways to show him how cool and deserving he is. I only had doubts with him when he was quite cold and critical to me about my drawing I’ve shown him and some other backhanded remarks, but he was really sorry and didn’t repeat such behaviors again. All of the other times he’d hurt me after I felt calm and that I trust him to have my best interest in mind, so I never got heated.

When we just started talking, I did something stupid to provoke a jealous reaction in him. For some reason I’m always someone who compliments appearances of people and characters a lot, regardless of gender, maybe to an extent I feel like it’s something that makes me seem easygoing. We do that often among friends, mostly as one-liners. So I sent him a reel of some dating show where the audience wooed for a pretty guy that acted very well put together, and said that I understand why the audience wooed.

B was upset with me and told me it made him feel terrible about himself, but for some reason instead of being understanding I told him that all I’ve ever done was compliment B’s appearance and I didn’t want to be responsible for his insecurities if I imply someone else is handsome/pretty.

For some reason after a period of time when I thought things had settled down I wound up telling him that I watched a football match with the corner of my eye and players on one team are beautiful like gazelles. I’m not sure why, I do want to state that I’m very demisexual and me finding people beautiful is about it, and he knew it, but I don’t know why I insisted to have that wiggle room, I’m not proud of myself and those remarks are something I’ll cut down on for certain.

He also mentioned that he couldn’t see himself with someone liking pictures of random dudes on the internet, and subsequently reproached to me the in a bit of an aggressive way fact that I liked a post “10 lethal facecards on football players” and an edit of Jude Bellingham. I told him I didn’t want to be attacked for how I interact with my social media.

I once told him about something that made me feel really nice at work, a client complimented my nails and told me I was pretty, and it was the first time something like that happened to me at work, came from a person seeing me in real life casually and I told the B that it made my day. He got very upset and told me I never react the same when he compliments me (I usually get a bit flustered and compliment back).

We had other issues, like me bantering when he didn’t appreciate it, and in general I should’ve been much more sensitive with him. I was scared of seeming overcommitted or delusional before we even knew how we feel about each other in real life. But I spend most of my time doing things with him and getting to know him, I cared about him knowing the real me so I’ve told him the worst things I’ve done and that happened to me.

For a time things were really nice because we talked through some of my issues and I realized that I could be avoidant about certain things and I got to fixing my act. I stopped justifying everything and would say sorry right away if he expressed being hurt, I’d explain and show how I plan on doing better. Whenever he would hurt me I never took him being defensive personally and calmly explained to him that he is still loved and worthy of understanding even if he can hurt me sometimes.

All that before one day I was feeling really great about my performance at work and myself, and mentioned it to a friend of mine with whom we aren’t really close but we hooked up once, a year before I met B. It never led to anything and I am friends with his girlfriend and I’d even tell them how much I liked B. Anyway, I ecstatically told him that I was really cool at my job and he ended up making a funny joke where he also mentioned me being beautiful and great at my job. Well, for some reason thinking it was funny and charming, I have shown the conversation to B and he got really angry asking why I was inconsiderate enough to show him that.

Ever since then there was just fighting, he repeatedly told me I didn’t care about him, and for a month I tried showing him that I do, re-explaining all of my intentions and owning up to toxic behaviors again and again even though he didn’t want to hear from me. I feel very ashamed of that. He’d always let me explain, leave the door half-closed half-open and I would always come back trying to show him that I care. He wound up calling me a bad person, making me really doubt my intentions with people, told me I just wanted to use his vulnerability against him. I thought about it a lot, I tried owning up to everything he said I’d done poorly, I felt like a horrible person and genuinely got all my strength to reprocess all of my behaviors, talk it through with my therapist.

We got into a big fight, he ended up blocking me. At that point I just felt angry because the things he would call me were cruel, and for the first time I actually felt that he only wanted me to feel bad about myself. I was angry and didn’t even consider trying to contact him, but then he suddenly unblocked me. He was calm and understanding for the first time in a month, and we actually talked things through. I offered to provide him with security through little gestures and explanations and he let me. Eventually he said he wanted to trust me fully, just couldn’t at the moment and needed time to think. We agreed to check up on each other after two weeks of no contact. I told him that if we don’t really have a sense of direction and security, it’s best we part ways right away, but B said that it would be unwise after such a productive conversation.

I was the one who reached out after two weeks. At that point I was very calm and understanding of the pain I’ve caused, never expecting him to magically stop hurting, but ready to care for him on his terms and show up in any way he wanted me to to build a sense of security for him. First day he was quite friendly, it felt nice, but he didn’t initiate any of the conversations we discussed having. He explained that he was in a bad situation and I extended a helping hand, a small finance aid because I know he’d been struggling in exchange for the classes he provides, even though frankly I was never interested in these classes. We never got to have them but I don’t regret it because I wanted to help, it was more of a way for him to actually accept a bit of help without feeling indebted to me.

But the two weeks we actually talked he was a bit dry, rarely reaching out himself. I stayed caring and consistent, until he told me we want different things and he cannot see himself being close to me again. I asked if we could have the conversations we told we might have, he said sure, but some things are beyond processing and talking. And then he told me he could never give me the closeness I need again, because he’d always think to how I hurt him. I told him I could take it, because he mentioned he wanted to trust me, but he said he was uneasy so I told him goodbye

I just feel awful about not being sensitive enough, I genuinely loved him and wish I would reflect more before acting

So I have an ex (don't we all) but mine was handsome (as some are) he was rich, in a good school and we met at work. I had my kinks and fantasy and he loved them we were a duo but he broke up and I had my moments but I got over him. Apparently he didn't, he would find me on any piece of social media and talk to me, asking for nuds and what not and I'd push him away and block him. But same thing he would find me say he was going to do things to me, he knew how to talk to me things that you would see on tiktok or in books it's something I've always wanted in a guy and he knows that he knows me and knows every part of me it's sick and disgusting. You see it would be hot if he wasn't my ex and a stranger or someone I know as a friend who liked me for a long time but he's an ex. I've been in a relationship with my bf for over a year and he's getting pretty sick and tired of my ex crap. Obviously so am I he even went as far as to email me on different accounts and snap and insta me on different accounts but the worst and recent one is that he FOUND MY PINTEREST wtf dude! I'm so sick of him I wish I never met him and what's even crazier is the girls he's dated after me look like me! Almost like me like body and hair wise! He even thinks about me when he does them. And they also had my temper?! I met up with him and ofc I told my bf and he wanted me to yell at him, hit him, in his words "walk him like a dog" bruh wtf obv getting mad at him would just be giving in and I said "look I don't want to talk to you anymore can't you get the hint I don't want you" and ofc left at that and then that's when I blocked him on insta he then found my Pinterest later and started telling me to unblock him and that he needs me and he wants to do things to me and I blocked him there too.

Having a stalker can be romantic and sometimes hot but only in different scenarios. In my case ts was not hot there's other things he's said to me but I've probably made this story long enough. Do y'all have crazy stories?

Holding on. Turned down a date with someone else this week.

I’ve had serious lows before. But this is so much more disgusting
And my ex texted me about a jury notice for me that got sent to his place (my old address) by mistake asking if I went him to send it/forward it/tossed, but also to “update my address” . it I told him I appreciate it and acknowledge he has no obligation, but asked if these were the only mail (one was from a hospital visit months ago when i was there, one was a jury notice not sure why sent there, two were traffic tickets. All my work/banking/and some of my car mail is sent here? So genuinely I’ll call the traffic? Number for my city and see what’s up? But if that’s all there is I feel that was overkill and if it’s not I need to know what else hasn’t transferred properly (I tried to distance myself as much as I could, physically, socially, literally)
And he never responded
I didn’t expect to have a conversation but it’s responded to the point, polite, and with a reasonable question.
And he never answered
And now I’ve been thinking about him for hours
And everything he did to me and everything I did and how everything I touched turned to shit and I kiss him even though he was terrible to me and oh god please someone keep me from texting him or trying to contact him

i just found out, my ex did a blindsided breakup. and in the mix of me wanting to do better for myself and get back with her. i did see her with another guys hoodie on. so i do think it’s over for me.

we’ve been on no contact for quite some time now. but i just want to send her a message saying like how im not bitter anymore and i am genuinely happy for you. i know that you and another guy are in the mix and stuff, whatever it is, i just want her to be happy, and ill still be supportive. and that i hope we can just be friends.

it really really hurts. but i don’t know man.

It's been 10 months and I can't get over my ex. Especially because it was a short term relationship of 3 months. I feel so stupid.

He broke up, kept me warm for another 2-3 months changing from we can get together again to I can't have a relationship with anyone. He played toxic mind games and stuff. Got blocked like 100 times. He then monkey branched to his long term friend of 10 years and blocked me for good. He was keeping me warm while building the relationship with her.

He was probably emotionally cheating on me as he never told me about her but I kept seeing messages from her all the time. 4 months NC.

She broke up 2.5 months later and he came back again in July. He was being nostalgic about the relationship.

I was stupid and let me pull in again. I felt good by then but then I had to start at 0 again when he came back. At my birthday, August 28th, I cut the ties for good because he didn't congratulate me. And he was crying about that girl while I still had to heal.

I confronted him about everything few times when we messaged because I wanted him to apologize so badly and having him feeling the pain I went through. He called me psycho. I never got one.

All this stupidity for a dating period of 3 months.

Go with her and leave me alone. An affair of over 6 months, all those times before you cheated on me! And you really think I will be good and wait for you? Your sick really

Between trying to be his friend and going NC. When someone is such a huge part of your life for so many years, how do you pretend they don't exist anymore?

I don't know what I'm doing. Over 7 years of relationship. He ended it. 3 weeks of NC. Then gradual contact and somewhat friendly, occasional conversation for the last 3 or so months.

I keep contact because I can't bear to lose him completely, but keeping contact means I'm constantly waiting for him to give me something that might make me feel less lost, less lonely, less miserable. Every message becomes a possibility. Every silence becomes another disappointment.

I don't know what I'm doing.

So, 2 years ago i dated a very good friend of mine. I was very clear from the beginning that i was looking for a serious relationship and told her i wouldn't be comfortable if she had anything to do with her ex. She had come out of a long term relationship 5 months ago.

Through out the dating period she was inconsistent, emotionally unavailable and showed avoidant behaviours. I low-key had a crush on her and caught feeling for her while dating. Initially, we had 2 months of talking stage and later 3 months of dating, She told me she's not ready for a relationship as she feels empty. I was actually a rebound. She hadn't moved on. We used to go on dates, have deep conversations, it was all fun. I was serious from the beginning.

When i confronted her, She told me she was filling a void and blocked me. Didn't even breakup up in person. She's a family friend of mine. I feel like telling her friends what she did. I don't know them personally but we're from the same college.

Need some serious advice, I strongly feel like telling her friends that she rebounded me. Meanwhile, i'm taking therapy to process this. I feel very wronged because i had my dating intentions clear, She still proceeded to date just to say she isn't ready.

We were long-distance while he was away for military training. I wrote him letters with perfume and sent him supportive voicemails because I genuinely wanted to show him I cared. But over time, things started feeling different. I noticed a pattern of him leaving me on delivered while being active online, and our last two calls felt so off. I eventually lost trust in him and realized I wasn't comfortable being myself around him anymore.

I ended things through a short voicemail and blocked him because I didn't want to wait for a response. Now I'm embarrassed about how robotic I sounded and keep worrying about what he'll tell his friends, especially after how vulnerable I was with him.

Part of me wishes I had just blocked him without saying anything.