I’m sorry unless yall broke up because of abuse, serial cheating or theft, tell that person happy birthday.

It doesn’t have to be long or thoughtful, just a simple happy birthday text.

Not to sound tone deaf but life is too short to have too much pride to not tell the person you once loved, shared a connection with, shared a genuine bound with and many more, happy birthday. You never know if they’ll make it to their next birthday and you’ll be sorry if that happens.

It shouldn’t be anything long. Just a simple happy birthday and move on. And if they don’t tell you it back on your birthday, that’s when you stop doing it.

(Some parts I used google tradutor. I'm brazilian and I sent parts of it to my friend).

Finally noticed. How sad you are. You made me handle a relationship alone for 9 months! Carrying a relationship all by yourself—who can handle that? Who can manage taking on the role of two people?

What the hell! I’m the one who made everything work! I deserve to give my love to someone who’s actually worth it! Not you!

I was the one sending messages, I was the one trying to find out about you! No way! You don't deserve—and never deserved—someone like me.

While you were prioritizing friends, making me, a secure person become depressed, I was still wanting to make it work! I forgave every single abuse you gave me, forgave every single thing wrong you made me.

You made me traumabonded! While you are "enjoying" life, I was anxious, scared and addicted to you.

I knew this from the very beginning. I realized myself that what I perceived as love was a clear indication that I have a secure attachment style. I don’t regret having been in that relationship. Going through hell was worth it, as it provided me with so much insight and self-knowledge.

Another thing I’ve noticed—wherever I go, I leave a positive impression on everyone. Everyone I meet ends up liking me. So, why suffer over someone who’s known around the neighborhood as "trouble"?

And if anything, I’m the one who "won" (not that there’s such a thing as winning when a relationship ends—no one wins and no one loses), because those who love the most and are the most honest genuinely always grows.

BYE BYE LOSER! You lost someone who loved you really. Now be happy! Goodbye! Hope we never met again. I'm happier and more in touch with myself than you will ever be. Sayonara!

Red flags observed
Stayed in contact with her ex for months despite being asked repeatedly to stop, including calls lasting one to two hours.
Unblocked her ex from a second account to send him money, without telling you.
Threatened to leave or demanded distance whenever there was minor conflict, using it as leverage.
Made you feel guilty or in the wrong for having normal reactions, like being upset after waiting hours with no explanation.
Called to talk about her ex during a family emergency (your mother being unwell) instead of asking how you were.
Chose other plans (e.g., ludo night) over rare time to talk, then threatened to leave when you were hurt by it.
Name-calling and dismissive language during disagreements.
Major effort, crying, begging, hugging, only appeared after you had already lost interest, not consistently before.
The 4 a.m. unknown-number calls and inconsistent explanations around them didn't add up.
Begging her to stay during the Ludo incident left you feeling like you compromised your self-respect.

She broke up with me but she still texts me sometimes and at same time she speaks to another guy who I think she liked because she dated him for like 2 days but things didn't go well between us but they spoke for a while during our break up. Yet she sometimes texts me even tho she said the worst things to me and disrespects me she talks to me as if ntg happened but I don't curse her back and when she texts we speak nicely but even tho I think I moved on I still get bothered by the idea of her talking or being with another guy. Tell me guys your opinions

So I broke up with my girlfriend two months ago and she seems to be stalking me idk. A couple days she showed up at my work just to tell she saw me at the store cause someone told her. I said to her why do you care and ignored her as I was walking into my work. I even saw her parked waiting for me to leave and saw her sitting in her car watching me and got out when I left.

Shes even asked people that I work with if I was working today almost as if she is trying to keep tabs on me she's basically breaking every rule I told her to no contact and she's breaking It's only starting to get to me and I'm tired of it.

She said she just wants to be friends but I want no part of it also to make matters worse she works next door. Part of me wants to just go and tell her personality to leave me alone but idk I'm not very confrontational person so I'm not sure.

I'm 29, lost a 7-year relationship to meth addiction, and I don't know how to rebuild my life.

I really am trying. Every day, every week, every month. I had been clean for a month and a half before my latest relapse.

A year ago, I lost the longest and most meaningful relationship of my life. We were together for seven years, lived together, worked at the same place, and grew up together in many ways. She was the most incredible person I've ever met. She was goth, covered in tattoos, incredibly smart, artistic, well-read, and someone I genuinely wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

But we had a terrible problem: we were both addicted to crystal meth.

We used it constantly, at home, at work, at parties, everywhere. We even romanticized our addiction because we always did it together. Eventually, the drugs changed us. I became paranoid and convinced myself she was cheating on me, even though I had no real evidence. I planned to cheat on her, and when she found out, I hurt her deeply.

She eventually quit using, but I couldn't. Our lives became incompatible, and our relationship slowly fell apart. She got tired of the addiction, my insecurities, and the person I had become.

We tried couples therapy, but she eventually ended things.

We continued working together for a while, so we still saw each other every day. Then I found out she was dating someone else. I lost control, yelled at her, broke things, and quit my job. I haven't seen her since.

That was a year ago.

Since then, I've struggled to keep a job. I'm an accountant, but I haven't managed to stay at my recent jobs for more than a month. I've tried therapy, going to the gym, and playing music with my old band, but nothing seems to make me feel better.

I've managed to stop using meth daily, but I still relapse every month or two. Every relapse leaves me feeling terrible.

Sometimes I check her social media and see that she seems happy and is doing well. I can't help thinking that my absence has been good for her, while I'm still struggling to put my life back together.

I'm 29, broke, unemployed, and I feel like I've lost my motivation for everything. I don't feel excited about work, relationships, music, or even the things I used to enjoy.

I've been having suicidal thoughts because I don't know how to move forward. I'm scared of getting another job and failing again. I'm scared of dating someone and hurting them or ruining another relationship. I'm even scared of being happy again because I don't know how to deal with losing everything once more.

I know I can't go back to the life I had, and I don't want to romanticize what happened. Our relationship had real problems, and our addiction hurt both of us.

But I miss the person I was before everything fell apart. I miss having someone to share my life with. And I don't know how to build a life that feels meaningful without her.

For those who have struggled with addiction, lost a long-term relationship, or had to rebuild their lives in their late twenties: how did you start over when you felt like you'd already missed your chance?

I’m 20F, and my ex is 20M. We dated for two years, starting the summer before senior year of high school. He wasn’t my first relationship, but he was my first and only boyfriend. Our first year together was genuinely great. We rarely argued, communicated well, balanced time together with our own friends and activities, and made each other really happy.
Things started getting difficult during our freshman year of college. He had some trust issues from being cheated on in a previous relationship, and he also felt he hadn’t spent enough time single working on himself before dating me. We tried to work through things, but he broke up with me in February.
After a week of no contact, he told me he regretted the breakup but didn’t want to get back together until he’d worked on himself. We agreed to be friends, but things gradually became like dating again, and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend in May. Unfortunately, when school started again, our problems returned, and we broke up a second time in September.
After about a month of no contact, we reconnected and became friends with benefits. That ended in December after a party where I felt he was done with me. I started talking to another guy for a couple of months, but that ended too. My ex eventually showed up at my door and apologized for the ways he’d hurt me. I appreciated his apology, but I was scared of getting hurt again and wasn’t ready to try again.
We slowly started talking more as friends, hanging out, and discussing our past. Looking back, I realize I was still very hurt and sometimes brought up the past in ways that hurt him rather than helped us heal.
In July, I asked for no contact because he was struggling emotionally, and I didn’t want to hold him back. He kept saying he wanted to be with me, but I was afraid he’d change his mind again, and I said some hurtful things when we stopped talking. After a month, my stepdad was in the hospital and might not survive, so I reached out to my ex for comfort. We saw each other, but by the end of that conversation, it seemed like he’d accepted that we might not get back together and wanted to focus on himself. That’s when I realized how badly I wanted to be with him.
We went back to no contact until my birthday, when he wished me happy birthday. We later saw each other at a football game, and things felt awkward. I apologized for the ways I’d hurt him, and he told me I needed to move on because he knew how painful it was to hold on.
I genuinely regret the ways I hurt him, especially when he was already struggling, and I sometimes feel like I ruined our chance of being together. I still love him and feel like he’s my person. Part of me believes we’ll find our way back to each other someday, but another part of me knows I need to move on because I’m crying constantly, getting headaches, and feeling sick to my stomach.
Everyone tells me I’m only 20 and have my whole life ahead of me, but that honestly makes me sad because it feels like more time I’ll have to spend without him. I know I can’t make him want to be with me, and I don’t want to keep hurting either of us, but I don’t know how to let go of the hope that we’ll end up together.
I’m looking for honest, unbiased advice. Am I holding on to something I need to let go of? Is there any realistic chance of reconciliation after everything we’ve been through, or do I need to accept that this chapter is over? How do I move forward when I still love him this much?

Hey everyone. I’m new here, and honestly, I have no one to share my feelings with. I’m here because of him, because he used Reddit too, and somewhere in my heart, I hope he’ll see this post one day.
It all started when he followed me on Instagram. Somehow, we started talking, and slowly, I fell in love with his personality. I wasn’t interested in love, but he came into my life and changed everything. He cared about me, checked on me whenever I seemed sad, and made me feel loved in ways I never expected.
He lived in the UK, and I lived in Nepal. Despite the distance and different time zones, he became my comfort, my happiness, and my whole world.
Then came that day in Kartik. I was exhausted and fell asleep, not knowing that he needed me. I wasn’t there when he needed me most, and that guilt still hurts. I wish I had stayed awake. I wish I could go back and be there for him.
When I woke up, I discovered that he had deleted his Instagram account. I tried finding him on TikTok, but he had disappeared from there too. Suddenly, the person who meant everything to me was gone. No goodbye, no explanation, nothing.
I keep wondering if he was hurt or if he decided to leave me. I miss his messages, his care, and the happiness he brought into my life. I wish I could tell him how sorry I am and how much I still love him.
If you’re reading this, please know that someone still remembers you and hopes you’re okay. I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again, but a part of me will always hope to find you.
If anyone can help me reconnect with him, please help me. I just want to know he’s okay. ❤️

This came after the comment. I need desperate help for this instead I won't rest. I'm getting annoyed.

last tuesday we talked after being blocked. the talk was great and honestly felt super good. even had a call. then i got blocked.

i reached out because i was confused and honestly saddened. i asked why and she said she only wanted to check up on me. things got emotional for me, by me telling her i wished we could’ve worked it out and i changed much over the course of 6 months. she said she had no feelings and i asked if she resents me. she said yes.

before thst she said she was overwhelmed maybe she said it because of the moment and because she was emotional since she’s done it before.

how can you check up on someone and simultaneously resent them? how?

​

Day 8 and I'm losing it.

Day 1 I was strong. Day 8 I'm arguing with my own brain.

I've typed "hi" and deleted it 10 times. Unblocked him to check his last seen, blocked again like nothing happened.

Saw a couple in the supermarket today and almost cried

Someone tell me when does this get easier?

I have found myself posting to reddit about this because it feels like a fever dream. When I was teenager/young adult- I dated a guy who I thought was the end all be all. I am now over 30. I recently moved back to my home town with my spouse and children. Yesterday I reached out to a small company for a quote on a job that my company needs complete. It turns out that the company I reached out for on a quote was owned by the guy I dated years back.

I originally spoke to a receptionist when I called. He must of recognized my name and called me back almost immediately. When my phone rang- I instantly recognized the phone number (he has never changed his cellphone number). I answered the phone and pretended to not know who it was.

Long story short- he went on to ask me about my children, spouse, and family. He told me that he thinks about me all the time. He brought up old music and memories. He then went on to apologize for everything wrong that he had done to me. He told me that anything bad that happened to him and everything bad that will happen- is what he will deserve for how he treated me. He told me that I was a wonderful person and the most kindest person and deserved a life of happiness and that he hoped I had gotten that. He went on to tell me if I ever need anything or if he can ever help me- to call him.

I hung up the phone in shock. I went no contact with this guy after we broke up over 15 years ago. I went through probably 2 years of being heartbroken after our breakup. Now as a full grown adult with a spouse and a parent- I never think of him. He did not owe me all of the things he said but he obviously knows that he was not the best boyfriend back in the day. I believe if I hadn’t gone no contact- I probably would have never gotten the apology. It took over a decade- but it does happen.

My Ex Called Me and Somehow Turned a Normal Conversation Into This

So today my ex called me and we were talking normally

During the conversation I told her that I feel like we broke up for a very silly reason because she was not considering my efforts and instead started humiliating me by calling me a man child and other things

You can check my reposts on my profile to understand the reason behind our breakup

Anyway we were talking normally and she was the one who called me but somehow she brought up the topic of boys being the same and how all boys are cheaters

I am not someone who hates girls and I genuinely respect them but when she started saying that all boys are the same I simply replied by saying that I guess even girls can be the same

I was not trying to say that all girls are cheaters or that girls are worse than boys

I just wanted to point out that you cannot generalize an entire gender based on your personal experiences

But as soon as I said that she started lashing out at me

She called me a man child and told me to come out of the closet and started asking whether I was transgender or fucking gay and how I could even say something like that

Honestly I was confused because I did not understand how saying that both boys and girls can have bad people turned into a personal attack against me

Now I want to know whether I was wrong for replying that way

Was I being immature by responding to her generalization with another generalization or was I right to point out the double standard

I understand that there are good and bad people in every gender and I do not believe that all girls are the same or that all boys are the same

I just want an honest opinion from people here

Was my response wrong or was her reaction completely unnecessary

I wish my ex wasnt such a bich we could of had a good life together. Never fall in love with potential and how a person could been even if it could been good for her.

Honestly, I'm still struggling. My 5 year relationship ended in October 2024. My ex moved on in under a year and I last heard from her last year around this time on her birthday (which is also this month). She breadcrumbed me and texted me looking for validation before disappearing again. Haven't heard from her since nor do I really want to since I found out when I last talked to her that she had someone new. It still eats me alive a year later. Ive tried dating, have had a few first dates and a few second dates that went ultimately nowhere. I haven't felt the same kind of connection since. I've been in therapy, been trying to distract myself the best I can and I just can't shake the feeling that I lost my person. Dating seems harder than ever and I'm starting to feel like I just need to accept that maybe that was it for me. The grief hit me again last weekend and it was rough. Not really sure what to do anymore.

Shouldn't have done that, i don't recommend this at ALL.

It'll hurt like HELL guys...

I once took girl serius and havent smiled for year and half i feel im the only who gets emotional and like intro the rls and want to make it work. mby bc eyrey girl i been with has been a lession idk but learned to just go with a flow yk and that i give my all when i love somene even if i have a crush on somene i want them to feel loved that why i dont take it that serius no more..

I found out he’s talking to another girl, and he’s already using the exact same phrase he used to tell me all the time. And he’s still in contact with her. I don’t know how to explain what that makes me feel, but it has absolutely nothing to do with jealousy. I don’t want him back. I don’t want her place. I don’t want anything from him. It’s pure disgust. The thought of him taking words that once meant something to me and handing them to another girl like they were never special in the first place makes me fucking sick.

It’s the hypocrisy, the audacity, the way he can move around like none of it ever happened. Like he didn’t make me believe in him, like he didn’t make promises, like he didn’t leave me with all this fucking damage while he gets to carry on with his life and repeat the same bullshit to someone else. And what makes it worse is knowing the kind of people surrounding him. People who watched, people who knew enough, people who still stand by him as if none of it matters. A bunch of fucking hypocrites.

My hatred keeps growing, and honestly, it scares me how little sympathy I have left for any of them. I hate him. I hate what he represents to me now. I hate that someone I once admired so much has become someone I can barely think about without feeling physically sick. And I hate that all this anger is still inside me, taking up space that he doesn’t fucking deserve.

I don’t wish death on him or any of those people. That’s too cruel, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. But I genuinely hope life gives them exactly the kind of misery they deserve. I hope they experience disappointment, betrayal, loneliness, and the kind of pain that makes them question everything they thought they could trust. I hope they learn what it feels like to be left picking up the pieces while the person who hurt them carries on as if they never mattered.

I want them to live with the consequences of who they are. I want life to humble them in ways I never could. I want them to lose the comfort of believing they’re good people just because they’ve never had to face what they’ve done to someone else.

Maybe this much hatred makes me a bitter person. Maybe it makes me ugly on the inside. Right now, I honestly don’t fucking care. I’m tired of trying to be understanding toward people who have given me every reason not to be. I’m tired of swallowing my anger to make everyone else comfortable.

I don’t miss him. I don’t want him. I just fucking hate him. And I hate that he gets to exist in my memories as someone I once trusted, when now all I feel toward him is contempt.

John and I had an amazing connection from day one, with incredible chemistry and attraction. We spoke daily for about two months, and although we never officially became boyfriend and girlfriend, he repeatedly assured me he wasn’t interested in anyone else. He knew I wanted a serious relationship built on loyalty, and he told me he liked me and wanted to take things slowly.

Before leaving New York for a work trip along the East Coast to Florida, he started becoming distant. Less texts, slower replies, less of “i miss you” less of everything. When I asked if everything was okay, he explained that he was overwhelmed with work and that there were too many unknowns surrounding his trip and my recent divorce. I’m completely over my marriage and ready to move on btw. I was very communicative about my 1 and only ex, that i left cuz he cheated and he knows i have only 1 body too. Which he said was a good thing.

I told him I felt like I was the only one making an effort and was disappointed because we had Halloween plans and even matching outfits. He replied, “It’s not that I’ve meant to be in this situation, my life is very chaotic and I’m not saying those plans won’t happen if we still wanted to do that :( I have feelings for you.”

I didn’t respond because it felt like rejection. It’s now been 10 days since our last conversation. I miss him deeply, love him, and hope we can reconnect. He recently liked my Instagram picture and continues watching my stories, but we haven’t spoken. We also still have each others location

Do you think he’ll reach out when he returns to New York? and that maybe we can start over and eventually have a solid relationship? I need some hope, but I’m afraid that his pulling away after I asked for reassurance means he’s lost interest.

My ex and I dated , broke up, and eventually got back together. However, he became inconsistent, so we ended up becoming FWB.
I noticed he was pulling away.

The last time we met up, he told me he would text me afterward, but he never did. I decided I wasn’t going to chase him, so I stopped reaching out. I even went as far as not wishing him a happy birthday.

Honestly, I’m proud of myself because stepping back has allowed me to detach. I don’t feel the urge to reach out anymore, and I actually feel relieved. I’m no longer waiting around for him to communicate with me.
Now I’ve noticed him liking my posts randomly and viewing my profile.

It's been 10 months

10 whole months of ups and downs in my healing process

Even began therapy

Got diagnosed with depression and started taking medication

Still

Still miss him

He ended things 10 WHOLE months ago, I begged and he still didn't stay, and still I want him back.

When will this end?

I've genuinely had

Enough

I hate this feeling

Of my chest eating itself

The anxiety

I hate it.

Hey!

So me and my ex broke up 17 months ago. We ended badly with a huge row. Prior to the big row we were pretty happy. During the break up he said his part and didn’t allow me to say mine.

I feel strongly I didn’t get to take accountability for the things I wanted to, I feel strongly I didn’t reclaim my voice. I’ve done therapy, I’ve done a lot. I’ve tried writing letters and burning them. I’ve tried writing poems, doing paintings, etc. I’ve tried speaking to him in the empty chair in therapy and still feel strongly that I need to send it to him.

I thought about attaching it to an email so I don’t ambush him and give him the option to read it.

It’s been a long time though.

He sent me messages in April saying he missed me with videos of us. I didn’t reply. I was annoyed because he didn’t take any accountability. I ignored them. Then in August I replied and said I acknowledged his emails but wasn’t ready for a conversation. He didn’t reply which was expected.

In October I wished him a very contained happy birthday not on the day as I didn’t want to ruin his birthday if he hated me or something, and I also wanted to test the grounds to send a letter. He replied within 2 mins and said thank you and sent me a warm reply said he hoped my dog was okay as he heard he was unwell. It was very contained, polite. It didn’t go any further.

I feel so unsure about sending it. I understand why I want to send it but also I know if I send it I need to be
1. Happy to receive no response
2. Ready I might accept a defensive response
3. Fully accept and know this is the last exchange then need to fully let go and close this chapter.

I have OCD and it feels this needs to happy to close the loop.

What would you do in my shoes? I’m struggling to be certain on it as my opinion changes with menstrual cycle. Is it disrespectful to myself to send a letter to someone who treated me badly in the end? We both ended things badly. It’s so sad.

this tuesday she came back and just to see how my trip to korea and japan was, and honestly the talk we had was super nice we even called for 1 and a half hours and it went with no issues. i told her that i’m sorry for my part and how much reflection i did and i grew as a person when we were apart. she also said how i could i stayed with her when she cussed me out and i said because i loved her, silence for 5 seconds.

anyway the talk as a whole went super well before it i was blocked.

fast forward to saturday i’m blocked again. i reach out through my brothers account because this time i wanna know why she did this. telling me she just wanted to check up on me that’s it and didn’t think i would notice the block. kept talking which she seemed super defensive she said she was scared what i was gonna say and i asked if she was overwhelmed, she said yes. long story short i got emotional told her how i wished we could’ve gotten back to talking and maybe rebuild what we had. she told me she doesn’t habe any feelings and it’s too late. i asked her if she resents me, she said yes.

how? how could you resent me and still check up on me? did she just say yes to answer to what i’ve said? why would she do that?

at the end i still shouldn’t become so emotional and i pushed her away with that. also i ended it with saying “i love you” which i regret, because she doesn’t deserve this when it’s one sided.

i’m blocked again. not back to square one but still hurt for the fact she comes back when she feels like it.

side note i told her she might have avoidant attachment and she took that as a insult, i don’t know if i’m wrong for it but i meant this as something she could look into, since this is not the first time.

Once you get into no contact please don’t go back opening wounds and cans of worms come here and read some break up stories you’ll eventually be better.

You still have her pictures, her number, and her memories… but you can't have her back. 🥀

The hardest part is that she's still just one call away, but you can't call her. 🖤

You can keep the memories, but you can't keep the person.

It's strange how someone can be everywhere in your phone but nowhere in your life. 😭