- Charles Bukowski

Pretty much the title. The person you fell in love with no longer exists. The person you're begging to, trying to convince and pining for, they're somebody totally different in the same skin. It's not worth it. Mourn for a month, mourn for a year, but mourn them like they're dead and f*cking move on. You have a worth, a soul, a conscience and a life it live to its fullest.

I asked my ex to break up, and his response was, “Are you sure? If that’s it, I can’t argue with that.” The smoothest breakup I’ve ever had.

My ex and I recently broke up. He pushed me away, treat me as if he didn’t love me, and keeps saying it’s over. If this was the scenario, do you guys still love us women or you’re totally done like we don’t exist in your life anymore?

I miss you so much, and am so sad to have lost you. I am grieving, reflecting, and trying to grow from this moment. I am thankful for what the space has provided me. Time to take accountability, show up differently, reflect on the hurt, and think about who I want to be, my needs, what I want in a partnership, and how much pain was driving my decisions.

I want us to have a better partnership. I want to make decisions out of joy not panic, because I love you. And yes I wish that we could grow while apart and figure out a way to come back to each other in a transformed way. But that is not the only way to move through this.

Just know, you have a home in me. If you want it. But only, truly, if after this space and time, after thinking and reflecting, you truly want it.

So I was broken up with suddenly and violently via text message and then blocked. I got a vague reason for the breakup. I have now come to the insight that I don’t want to be in a relationship with this manipulative and emotionally distant person (I was limerent). However, pretty much instantly after the break up I started planning what to say when I (accidentally one day?) run into my ex again. Basically there is still a need for me to express my emotions and get some sort of validation that I matter (which I obviously don’t, well maybe I do but not enough to be kept). So my thinking now goes, can I get validation elsewhere and why should it matter so much that my ex knows about my emotions ? I suppose this is part of the grieving process….anyone can relate to my thoughts ? Anyway I think when you look at it this way you get some perspective and perhaps it’s a good step forward to eventually letting go…

When he broke up with me he said that he still loves me and that this is going to very hard for him. We were both very in love, he just believes we were in different places. And he said maybe in the future we could try again. I want to reach out to him, but I want to respect his space to heal.

All I want is him back and for us to work on things, but I don’t want to live my life hung up waiting for him. It feels like we aren’t done, like he’s gonna reach out, but I can’t wait around for it incase it never happens. What do I do to start to get over him?

my ex of 4 years cheated on me months ago, I was too afraid to confront it and eventually resentment built up and I ended it. no closure, no apology. no contact for a month now and im finding out she is now seeing the person she cheated with. it is soul destroying and i dont know how to cope it just feels like my whole world is crumbling.

I was scrolling on my phone earlier and came across something about how breakups aren't always hardest during the big emotional moments, but during the random little things you used to do together. And that thought really stuck with me. It's not always the big memories or special occasions. Sometimes it's seeing something funny and realizing you can't send it to them anymore. Or hearing a song you both liked. Or having something exciting happen and instinctively wanting to tell the one person who used to hear about everything. I think that's what makes breakups so difficult. You're not just losing a person. You're losing all these tiny routines you didn't even realize had become such a big part of your life. And the world just keeps moving like nothing happened. I wonder if that's why moving on takes so long. It's not just about getting over someone, it's about learning how to live through all those ordinary moments without them. What's the smallest, most random thing that made you realize how much you missed someone?

really need to know, need some light

I'm very sure I don't want this guy back, but I keep flipping back to reminiscing positively about the old times, and he just shows up in my mind a lot still, even though it'd been nine months and I don't feel heartbroken anymore. I think I still miss him/our connection, and I don't think I would ever take him back because of the way it ended. Is it normal to miss and think of someone this much in such a good way, or am I not over him? Lmk if more details are helpful. We had a rather unconventional relationship

Tbh this is a huge achievement of mine because looking back at myself in July I was a literal mess.

What they said is true, that healing isn’t linear.

Im a first yr college student, I live at my apartment near at my uni, but every time I go back to my hometown it all comes back again, the pain, the memories, the image of myself suffering.

Still learning and still moving. I have a long way to go.

this is a bit of a long read but bear with me.

i met this girl from my society in oct 2025. i was the one who approached her and started talking to her. i somehow got her insta during my first talk. we used to talk in insta for 2 hours cause she only had that much time during the day as due to jee prep. i was in 11th at that time and she was in 12th. i asked her about her previous relationships and she said i have had 3 fwb. 1) a guy from society who she kissed and she didnt even like him 2) her batchmate who she rejected and she told that he was the one who kissed her 3) drunk kiss with someone of her class. ALL OF THESE WERE MAJOR REDFLAGS but my dumbass ignored it

we got into a relationship and she after one month her redflags really started showing. idk it was me exaggerating it or not but she used to crush on celebs and other guys in our society and ask for their insta from me even though we have gotten intimate with each other. when i used to ask her abt clg she used to say ill block you when i go to clg and why would i talk to you when i am in clg (at that time idk if she was being serious or joking) she used to say that im not good looking enough compared to her and she always used to bring me down. and she never gave me her insta and she always made some excuse when i asked. IDK IF I WAS WRONG OR NOT

after all that it used to make me feel like ill never be enough for her or i am not good looking enough for her and the comments about clg and other guys made feel way too insecure. now i really dont know what to do. i feel like ill never be enough for anybody please help

I’m dumbfounded and don’t even know how to feel anymore.

I feel like they were so sweet when we were together but just turned in to this cold monster out of nowhere and discarded me.

I don't even know where to start. We were together for 2 years. It was my first serious relationship and I thought we were going to make it. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago.

The reason was he said he lost feelings. There was no big fight, it just ended. And that's what hurts the most. For the first few days I was in shock. I kept checking my phone, thinking he would text back. Now I m just stuck in this loop where one minute I m angry and the next minute I miss everything about them. I have deleted photos but I haven't blocked. I don't know if I should.

My friends say I need to go no contact but its so hard.

For anyone who has been through this - how long did it take you to feel normal again? What actually helped you? Because right now I can't even sleep properly.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this out somewhere.

I did the grieving, I did the anger, I’m past the point of wanting to reconcile. You’re a broken person. Wanted me to seem as horrible as your mind made me out to be. But I wasn’t. One day you may realise, maybe the delusion is so strong you won’t. Either way I don’t hate you. All the time spent you threw away. It is what it is, I have made many come backs in life. Praying for you. Get the help you truly need. Living in the idea that everything is perfect and okay in your world will only last so long.

I still love you, but I’m disgusted.
I’ll still be polite if you reach out someday. You know that too. Learn to think about your actions.

​

My girlfriend broke up with me just over a week ago.

We met in college just before the pandemic hit and got together quickly. After barely a year, we moved in together. We talked about getting married someday, maybe building a house and having kids. We helped each other through a lot. Nobody knows me as well as she does, and we share memories I can never have with anyone else.

Now I feel lied to. Every time she told me how much I meant to her and how much she cared about me seems like a lie in hindsight.

We still live together, but I sleep in my home office now. I avoid her as much as I can, but I can hear her moving around the apartment, going about her day. It hurts. I spend most of my time in my room crying and feeling sorry for myself. She seems to be fine, and that makes me angry.

On top of that, I can't focus on work. I'm self-employed and have deadlines and clients waiting on me. I don't know what to tell them. "Sorry, I couldn't finish the work because my girlfriend broke up with me" sounds childish. I also have a few appointments outside the house next week.

There's no real point to this post. It's just a stream of consciousness, a lot of thoughts going through my head and nowhere to put them. If anyone has good advice, please let me know.

I 21F met his 20M friends only twice ever. LITERALLY. And we broke up after 8 months. He broke up with me, at first it wasn’t mutual because I still wanted to be with him, but I came to terms with it and now it is mutual. Once he had a hangout at his friends and took me, one month in the relationship. I met all of his boys, we had some interactions and chit chats, talked mainly about music and joking around. They seemed okay with me, and one of them said we have such good chemistry.

Then after the breakup, he says that his friends apparently didn’t like me that much (also as a match for him) because I’m “too much” and too “outgoing”.??? All I did was be friendly, I never said anything out of line, I wasn’t TOO friendly, and I only spoke when spoken to. Sometimes, I like making conversations, so I did that, like for music. Our interactions were pretty basic overall.

Particularly, his friend’s girlfriend apparently “hated” me. And all I said to her ever was “Hi, nice to meet you!”. And her boyfriend (his buddy) also didn’t like me, and we never even interacted. I find that so weird. I’m pretty sure he never badmouthed me with them. And it’s funny because his friend’s girlfriend also hated him, even before I was in the picture. But now apparently they’re cool since we broke up? He said when he told her we broke up, she was so happy.

On the flip side, I spent WAY WAY more time with his parents. His mother and father loved me, and were pretty upset he broke up with me.
He said that they said I am the best he ever brought home. They also made me feel welcomed into their family, as someone who is coloured, I believe it’s tricky when dating a white person because you never know how their family could react to you.

There many huge issues in our relationship, which I believed could have been solved by sound communication, but he was already checked out from the relationship before I was.
I just think this is so perplexing, because the people I spent most time with were his parents and they really liked me, and the people I barely knew just hated me. Humans are weird.

Im probably an a*hole because im the dumper.. I love him but I broke up because we drifted away and he took me for granted after 10+ years, but he started dating someone else after 3 weeks only!!!

I want him to be happy and find somebody that better fits him, but couldn’t he take a few months to heal?! If this relationship ends up working, it just means what we had wasn’t that important, because how else would you forget all our years and just walk to the next best thing?! If this had started after 6 months I could understand.. but 3 weeks?! Come on!

So yesterday I couldn't take it anymore and I messaged my ex and asked her if we could talk. I expected her to tell me no but surprisingly she accepted, though she told me she has nothing else to add but that she was willing to listen to me.

I don't expect anything to change, I'm almost 100% sure she's done but at the very least I want to tell her the whole truth about how I felt and why I lied about my health and stuff and how I always felt I wasn't good enough for her. I also want to apologize because I think I've been very selfish and never really stopped to think how she felt. I was too occupied with wallowing in my misery.

Hopefully we can rebuild trust but I really don't expect it.

Hey all. I'm currently 3 months out of a 12 year relationship. GF decided to cheat on me and she got caught. Tried explaining to me but I wasn't having it. She tried friend-zoning me while keeping up with her side dude. I told her she was delusional and that I no longer trust her and that's the basis of any kind of friendship and relationship. I will admit that I did harbor feelings for her and didn't go non-contact right away. Until last week that is. She called me crying that she knows she's losing me and after a 12 year relationship, she can't imagine me not being in her life at all anymore. I snapped. I went off on her, basically telling her that she is the cause of this. That if she ended the relationship BEFORE anything happened with the other guy (who is married btw. So add Homewrecker to the list of what I call her now) then maybe down the road we could be friends, but she ruined that too. That's the moment I said I was done giving myself and my love to people that do not deserve it.

In short, to the heartbroken, please take a step back and really analyze the situation. Does this person really deserve your love and time? Most times they do not. So stop giving it to them. Block them, heal, and move forward. Have a great weekend everybody.

Just went through a breakup about 18 days ago. It was a three and a half years relationship (2 years long distance) and he ended things saying he couldn't see any option that could bring us together anytime soon. Weak passports only made it harder. I have been trying to be as understanding as I can. I know and even I have felt how distance can be draining at times. I have been trying to believe that only thing that led to us breaking up was circumstantial, forces beyond our control.

But I am also confused and still trying to understand, how a person can say that they love you so much and truly saw future with you until the end but somehow leaving is an easier option for them. To not even try, while I was loosing my mind trying to make it work, trying to show him every option I could think of. His line of reasoning was that he was going crazy that I wasn't there with him, and he was afraid that he might do something that might be hurtful and disrespectful towards me.

I keep revisiting our last conversations, how all I wanted was to be with him and I was fighting until the end, but to him, it seems like I was replaceable. I cannot help but feel so discarded. It makes me wonder if he ever even loved me. But another part of my brain refuses to believe that what I felt with him was not love. How is he not having hard time as I am? Why was it so easy for him? I have so many questions and I want to ask him but deep down I know, that will make me feel even worse. I just came here to rant, because I really needed to let it out somewhere. This is driving me crazyyyyy!

He was my first love and I truly loved him so much, I still do.

Well a few days ago I dumped my partner as I feel that he is just avoiding me for no reason during this LDR or maybe lost interest in me because the communication gap has been stretched from a few days to weeks... So I just sent him many paragraphs and ended to which he just left on seen.

Well he made me the happiest when I was with him, he was the best in sex too, and very brave and straight forward and my favourite travelling companion.

I'm scared I'm never gonna find someone like him again or even if I do find someone maybe I'll not enjoy my time with others how much I did with him cause we just had a great time with eachother.

I guess maybe he can find someone else and recreate those moments but for me even if I recreate i don't think I'm gonna find that much comfort and happiness again how much I had with him.

The way I used to speak, behave, etc it was all unfiltered with him because I felt so safe with him and the way he just pulled back entirely in LDR breaks my heart.... He didn't even care to reply to my breakup texts which breaks me even more and I also don't have any hopes that he will ever reach out + I don't know how to move on from such a person who literally made me feel the best and then suddenly pulled back.