You know what’s actually crazy?

You can love someone with everything you have…

and still be the wrong person for them.

Not because you weren’t the ‘right person’

But because they simply didn’t want you the way you wanted them.

And no amount of love can fix that. 💔

My bf at the time and I, had sex the day before he broke up with me. I was never made aware of how he felt until he was breaking up with me, saying he had been thinking about breaking up for the past couple days. What makes me sad is that he chose his own pleasure over being honest with me. I don't get how one can be intimate while strongly considering breaking up with their partner. I understand that it might've not been done with malicious intent, I understand that he might've been uncertain about breaking up at the time, but his lack of consideration of me/my feelings comes off very disrespectful. It feels so dehumanizing. I feel like I've been deceived and like a choice was taken away from me, all because he chose to withhold important information. I wish he had voiced his doubts sooner, why wait one more day? and after being physically intimate?

Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this?

For context:

• This happened a bit more than a year ago
• We were both 25 at the time (we met in high school)
• He didn't act differently the day before the breakup
• His reason for breaking up was that he doesn't love me anymore

Our last phone call felt messy and disrespectful

I wish you were in a state where we could have had a healthy and respectful conversation

I think I get triggered when something doesn’t make sense

It reminds me of my mom and then I get angry

There’s a lot of things that I wish were different

Should have listened to this podcast sooner

Should have asked you more detailed questions

If this is how you want to leave our relationship/friendship (yes I remember the post I made earlier this year but I didn’t think how I would react. Now I’m just confused and sad) okay.

I thought we were into each other

I thought we liked each other until you said I’m not your person

The Christmas thing was confusing AF

Getting over a breakup doesn’t mean forgetting about your ex. You can actually have them in the forefront of your mind a lot. A common characteristic among those that truly healed is that their exes still occupy their mind from time to time! However, instead of the usual heartache, their ex is a reminder of their inner transformation. 

They saw their ex as a key to something much greater. Because of the heartache and loss, they were able to tap into their most deeply repressed aspects of themselves. They solved their innermost insecurities as they brought it to the surface, gradually reframing the past and beginning their path to emotional development. 

It was not just their innermost insecurities they rediscovered. They also rediscovered repressed talents and ambitions they once buried. By re-practicing these hobbies, they became more aligned with their authentic selves. 

The result of the breakup in the long-run was a renewed sense of self-love. They learned that true self-respect is not merely about standing up for yourself. It embraces complete internal transparency and being able to be content with it. 

Your ex can still be an occasional or even frequent voluntary guest into your head. Let’s be real here. How are you supposed to forget someone that’s helped you grow so much? Therefore, rather than trying to forget, build peace with the mind that constantly brings reminders of your ex. However, giving them space in your head should not be triggering any negative emotions. It should not be obsessive, where you constantly dive into what-if scenarios. Most importantly, it shouldn’t be keeping you trapped in a negative behavioral cycle that reinforces self-limiting beliefs and destructive patterns.

We met at a gas station, she was stressed out about being late to class. I was lost on vacation in a new city, in a rented Ferrari. I pulled up at the pump next to her to put directions in my map & top off my tank. I started pumping my gas, and walked out in front of the car to take pictures. Then she honked at me, she asked if I had a lighter she could borrow to light her blunt. I gave her one, and pulled out my own joint too, she laughed. Then she asked for my number, I gave it to her, something I wouldn't normally do. Why only ask the guy in a Ferrari for a lighter, just go buy one? I went against my gut & did it anyways, she seemed genuine.

Later that day I text her & we started talking. She said all the right things, and on the surface looked like she was living up to her claims. In medical school to be a doctor, running a non-profit, owns a clothing brand. She seemed like she could match my life, my energy. We got along well, so I met her in her parking garage to smoke a blunt & talk about life. We sat in my rented Ferrari for 3 hours, just talking. That night is when I first started to fall in love.

Over the next couple weeks we got close. Our first official date was at a nice rooftop bar. There was a lady there taking pictures for the bar, she came up to us. She had us pose for a couple pictures. She had us cheers, then told us to kiss. I kissed her on the cheek, camera lady laughed, and said in Spanglish "no no, kiss for real", so we did. After that we couldn't keep our hands off each other, ever.

The next couple months were great. We did everything together. We ran all our errands together, I helped take care of her daughter, she cooked for me every night she could, I made sure she always had gas in her car, she made sure I wasn't overworking myself. I was in love, and it felt like she was too. The conversations were turning into planning our future instead of our day, and our bond felt unbreakable. We told each other how we weren't looking for anything, but when we met we felt something different. I did, but now I realize she didn't, it was all a lie.

This all started during my week long vacation to the new city. I extended the vacation 3 times, then signed a lease, just so I could stay with her. She was scared to be serious with me if I was going to go back home, so I didn't, and we got serious. The entire moving process cost me about $250,000. Then the relationship quickly started turning sour. She kept asking for money for things, and I'd give it to her. $2,000 car note, $500 a week in gas, $1,000 for her mom, the list goes on. I paid it, money isn't a problem for me. I'm a provider by choice, it's my duty as a man. She was meeting her duties as a woman so I had no problems with it, until she wasn't.

The texts got shorter & further apart, she was too busy to see me more than once a week, phone calls left unanswered. The only times I heard from her was when she needed something, and I started to realize my mistake. I trusted her, and she took advantage of it. She made me believe she wanted something real, when she just wanted her bills paid. She convinced me she loved me, when she just loved my wallet. She told me she wanted a future with me, when she just wanted my financial future to be hers. She never wanted me, she wanted money. All I ever wanted was to give her the world.

We went back and forth for a couple months, because I was struggling to let go. I was, and still am to an extent, in love with her. I now realize I'm in love with a facade, but that doesn't make it any easier. I've had many relationships in the past, but I don't miss any of them like I miss her. I really don't understand why it's so hard for me to let go. It's been 2 months of no contact, by my own choice, and it's only getting harder. I don't want to relapse and text her again, she's made it obvious now that she doesn't respect me. I want to let go, I want to be happy, but I don't know how.

How can I be in love with a manipulator that doesn't respect me? I don't understand why I can't just let it go, and realize she's not the one for me. I know she isn't, but my feelings don't change, no matter how hard I try to convince myself. I've been in a depressive isolation state for 3 months now. I have no friends, I have no social life. I wake up, I make money, I eat, I get high, and I go to sleep. I leave the house once a week. I don't want this to turn into my life, I just can't find a way to push myself to get back out there.

I miss the girl that ruined me, despite how badly I don't want to.

I want to move on from an unrequited love and I want to unfollow them but I’m afraid of regretting it later on. This relationship would be the end of me and the only way I can get over is through completely isolating myself from that person. Btw I’ve liked them for over a decade.

Broke up exactly 1 month ago. Had stayed away from all his social media.. then today, I was going thru my feed... And his friends game live came up on my feed. And I saw him.. at first I felt nothing. I thought. Heh. I'M FINE!! then. Hours later... My itchy backside. I went to his profile. And then I saw it. Another girl. Every single game, she was with him. I was being replaced so quickly.

Suddenly all our gaming memories just flood back. All the time we spent playing together. And then as the relationship progress, the less time he played with me because he was busy hanging with his friends and family.. suddenly after we broke up, he was constantly playing every single day. Where was this when we were together? Maybe he just didn't want to spend time with me so he avoided playing the game.

Suddenly I felt stupid. While I was pining for him, missing him, and he had replaced me. All the time I was thinking of posting stuff for him to notice.. I realized.. his attention was already on someone else. I felt sad.. I was the one who made him laugh in the game. Now some other girl is doing it. I felt like I never mattered.

I went to our discord to look at our pictures (to make sure nothing explicit was left behind) and.. damned, I broke my own heart again. I saw how our relationship progressed. From strangers to friends, to lovers. It just felt.. sad. A low hum of sadness.

His hugs, his kisses, his I love you sayang. I've boxed them up in a box in my memory.

I unfollowed him, deleted him from friendlist in the game, unfriended him in discord. Deleted my profile pic on discord, deleted my picture on tiktok, logged out of TikTok and deleted it, deleted discord where our memories were so I will never go back again. Each click, my finger just hovered there as I whispered goodbye.

Damned. I broke my own heart tonight saying my last goodbye again.

so this is gonna be long. there was this guy who was a security guard at the building I used to live in. I was in a really toxic relationship back then, abusive honestly, and I was so into him but couldn't do anything about it. I knew he liked me too. he was so decent though, never did anything inappropriate, just very sweet and kind.

2yrs back he started eyeing me out. at that point it didn't mean anything emotional to me yet. I was wearing a top I crocheted myself and he asked me if I made it. I said yes. same day a psychic from india collecting donations for his charity did a reading for me even though I had no money, and he told me there were two guys in my life, one older and one younger. I was so confused.

then we started talking and that's when it changed. one night around 3am I was crying at the beach because I couldn't sleep, and he came outside from inside the building just to check on me and told me it was dangerous to stay there. I wanted to put my head on his shoulder so badly. I found out that night he's like 6 years older than me. after that he became my lifeline. I fantasized about him just to get through my abuse.

the last time I saw him I went over there without my boyfriend, under pretense of taking the dog out.

I couldn't go anywhere unsupervised I was literally in hell. Also every time I broke up he fought for me and wouldn't leave me alone so there was no exit.

It was coercive and controlling abuse among so many other forms of abuse and violence.

I didn't see him (the security guard) for a long time because we had moved somewhere else. He was happy to see me and he literally goes "but you're coming back, right?" and I said yes. my heart was pounding and I wanted to kiss him so bad but I was being a good girl and stayed faithful to my man. now I'm like I should've just done it. and then I never saw him again.

I moved overseas, like 10,000 km away. it's been over a year and I never even touched him and I still miss him so much it's insane. I've been thinking about him this whole time, even back when I was still with my ex, but I never actually saw a point in trying to find him. a couple weeks ago I decided to give it my all and now I'm doing the most. messaged my old neighbor, asked a cleaner at the building, got a friend involved, tried the company he worked for. nobody can get a message to him. I have no number, no socials, nothing.

This feels worse than a heartbreak. I haven't even touched this guy and I will never have a chance to see him again.

His presence and stability meant so much to me when I was going through the worst time in my life.

Even if I could just say thank you it would mean the world to me.

I'm sure he's out there living his life. I wish him all the best.

This guy literally cheated on me. I reached out to the girl I had doubts about on Instagram, and she confirmed that they had sex. When I confronted him, he denied it and character-assassinated her, claiming she had tricked him. He had even lied about his age to her. Despite doing all of this with her, he continued giving me regular attention, affirming his love for me, and talking about marriage, our future, finances, and all that bullshit. And apparently, maintaining a normal conversation with me after cheating was an angelic deed on his part.

I recently found out she was getting married. I found out that he was smarter, better looking, taller and a successful engineer. She upgraded big time. She moved on quick and dated him within few months of break up.

I figured if I looked them up, I’d feel hurt enough to let go, but it only worked a little. I feel like a failure. I was anxious/avoidant and regret not trying my best in relationship, taking it for granted and keep blaming myself. My life went to shit, during the relationship. I lost my father, and fell into depression, and I started abusing weed (which affected my personality). I still made a lot of efforts for her, but I became distant and things weren’t compatible. She eventually broke up with me.

After break up, I became a mess. My weed addiction led to schizophrenia and self harm. I ended up in psych hold 8 times. Due to the voices, self violence and weed, I didn’t think much about her. Fast forward, I finally got treated and stopped weed for good. On top of that, my local police department had filed a civil lawsuit against me during a psych hold for confiscating my gun. They said it was illegal because I didn’t purchase it California, but I bought it while I was in military on base. My name was published online as part of a public record. This ruined my reputation and had to leave my last job because I was getting treated badly.

I know it’s really bad stalking exes and unhealthy but I looked her up to see if she was doing well. Turns out she’s doing great for her self. I’m really happy for her and don’t want her in my life. I wasn’t even in love with her, but for some reason I felt like I let a good one go and it’s all my fault. I’m improving myself with traveling, back to college and getting therapy.

Does anyone have regrets in their past relationships? Or has anyone looked up their ex profiles/lives?

Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago due to us having a lot of problems. So we found out that she was pregnant during our relationship and then a couple days later I discovered that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend for a long time during the relationship and telling him how much they miss each other and as soon as I found that she was cheating on me, I broke up with her however I still wanted to be with her (not in a relationship but just with her) for the sake of the baby so that's what I did I somewhat made things work at the time, but as was also single, I started talking to other people. She found this out and was furious. We had a big falling out and I moved out of our place (we were co living but not in a relationship at this time).

we began to have a lot of problems and then we ended up losing the baby. we then were going through a lot of On and Off in the relationship she moved back to her home country, and then I went on holiday to go and see her as she told me she wanted to be with me. When I was there I found out she was flirting with other guys on the phone and also received naked photos from them. I was of course furious and didn't want to be around her. I then solo traveled the rest of it and flew back to my home country. After this I fully ended things as I didn't want to be around her and I felt I couldn't trust her at all.
And she recently called me telling me that she still has feelings for me and would like to get back with me and has a lot of interest in me.

However, I felt incredibly hurt over the past couple of months after everything that happened.
I also found out in during our time when we had broken up she dated another guy for a week and they slept together and he bought her many luxury gifts so he's evidently richer and apparently younger than me too.

However she has been calling me every night for almost a week now telling me that she wants to me with me and that she wouldn't be calling me if she didn't want me and that she's 100% serious and committed to wanting to be with me however she keeps saying "many boys want me but I choose you" which makes me feel like I'm competing.
I know I didn't do some right things in the past like when we were going through the baby issues I started to talk to others because I was single and I really regret it and she always brings it up. I do feel terrible and I have told her that If things go forward I would do everything I can to reassure her and make her feel stable.

To summarise I need someone to read this and tell me if it's a good idea to be back with her as I do miss time v with her, the good times, but also there was a lot of messy situations

I loved you, but all you gave me was waiting. I gave you my words and my time; you gave me nothing but empty assurances. Sometimes it feels like you were just pretending to be a good person,,and I, being a fool, believed it and fell for those reassurances. I wasn’t in the wrong; I simply found what I was searching for but was it truly what I needed? You said you wanted to get to know me, that you wanted to meet me, that you wanted to sing songs with me, that you wanted to understand me deeply. You were the one who asked, "What’s the rush?" Yet, here I am, left waiting for you. I was the one who took your words seriously i lost my time, and my heart was broken. And still, there is no apology from you; you didn’t even say a word you just left. Did I deserve this?

You kept me longing, you kept me waiting. You inflicted all this pain upon me pain you never should have caused. I know you aren't even aware of what I’ve been going through, but you never even asked. You just vanished after saying all those things. You are truly cruel the worst of all. No one has ever treated me this badly. Yet, in a way, I am just as much at fault, because I misunderstood you I misinterpreted your words. Perhaps I am even worse than you, for I was the one who let my heart fall for you.

So, this is not a break up from a relationship. We were never together.

For context, im a 23F who has never had a bf, never had any form of physical contact, never been on any date and, before this guy, never talked to a guy for more than a week and never even had a call.

Last February, I added back a guy and we started talking. We vibed, we clicked, it was all very instant, we continued talking regularly, we had a bunch of calls. I really enjoyed all of that, for the first time ever I felt like it was my turn to have something about a guy happen to me. I developed a big crush on him overtime, to this day I still think he is the funniest, coolest, and most attractive guy I have ever seen. He always presented himself as single no matter how many times I asked and I believed him.

At some point, he suggested meeting in person; we are from different countries but he wanted to visit me where I live. He told me he had been here before and loved it, he even sent me pictures.

Unfortunately, one of the very first days of June, it happened on my birthday, I got a message from a girl I didn’t know at all who had a profile picture that matched the one he had ever since we started talking. She said: Hi, I’m his gf, we have been together for almost 2 years, he liked to have an open relationship but now, not anymore. He then immediately called me, to explain himself he said, saying the same thing she told me, he also told me that she didn't talk to anybody besides him and that now he realizes that what he was doing to her was wrong. Later, it took him 3 days to admit that what he did to me was wrong because before that he only called me crazy and asked me to move on, and on the same message he told me that what he did was wrong, he added that they agreed on blocking me, and thats what he did. The thing is, to know that he had a gf all along and he was telling her about it, to think that he lied to me for months knowing how much in need I was for connection, affection and feeling seen and chosen… and he never apologized. He never told me he was sorry.

Today is October 17th, its been more than two months now, and I still cry, I just finished having a good cry minutes ago. I cry a lot, almost daily and sometimes multiple times throughout the day.

I miss him, part of me still wants him, but oh how I hate him. I can’t move on, I feel like he is the one I really like out of all men and no one can make me feel the same way again.

I’d like to hear your opinions, advice, reassurance or just thoughts. I feel very damaged, hurt and broken. I can't stop crying and I'm even starting to have s....... thoughts because I feel like all of this made me feel even lonelier and unchosen, it burns my heart how much I envy her. Will he ever come back? I miss him.

I got broken up like 2 weeks back it was a short relationship but idk i was really very serious about him unlike my past ones i texted him sm cause like genuinely the only thing he said was i cant do this anymore lets break up i really wanted to talk with him one last time but he ghosted me sm even tho i begged lol he broke up with me on the day my grandad passed away as well i just have complex feelings idk how to deal with this i really want to talk to him i dont wanna lose him too i resent him but at the same time i really love him.... idk how to feel better i cant do anything properly cant do my work nor gym only been eating stuff from out to feel better to fill this emptiness in me xd i wonder is he happier without me? even though he was the one who wanted this first lol

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, and I need advice from people who have been in similar situations. I’m not just looking for people to tell me to break up or to keep fighting for love. I genuinely want to understand what I should do, what I need to change, and how to know if this relationship can still be healthy for both of us.

My boyfriend (25M) and I have been together for a while, and I love him so much. He’s someone I genuinely see a future with. But lately, things between us have been really difficult, and I feel like I’m slowly losing the relationship while still being in it.

I know I’ve made mistakes. I’ve struggled with anxiety, insecurity, overthinking, and needing reassurance. Sometimes, my reactions and fears have affected him, and I understand that constantly dealing with those things can be exhausting. I know I have issues I need to work on independently, and I don’t want my boyfriend to feel responsible for my happiness or mental health.
Recently, he told me that he isn’t happy with how things have been between us.

He feels drained and has expressed concerns about whether I’m relying on him to feel better about myself. He has also said that he’s tired and needs space to deal with his own problems. He has told me that my attempts to comfort him sometimes make him feel worse rather than better.

At the same time, he has told me that he’s still holding on, that he hopes things will improve, that he still sees a future with me, and that he can imagine marrying me. That’s what makes this so confusing for me. He hasn’t explicitly said that he wants to end the relationship, but I can feel how much things have changed.

He’s become more distant. We don’t communicate the way we used to, and the affection that once came naturally now feels different. There are moments when I reach for his hand or try to hug him, and I don’t feel the same warmth or effort in return. Sometimes, his tone sounds irritated when I want to spend more time with him. I miss feeling close to him, and I miss feeling like he wants to be close to me, too.

He’s also dealing with his own struggles, work, and other responsibilities, so I know he has a lot on his plate. I don’t want to make his life harder. I’ve been trying to give him space and stop asking for reassurance because I’m afraid that even expressing my needs will make him feel more pressured.

But now I’m struggling with the other side of it. I don’t know how to give him space without feeling like we’re becoming strangers. I don’t know whether I’m being patient with someone I love or holding on to a relationship that’s slowly falling apart.

I’ve been asking myself so many questions…

How do I take accountability for the ways I’ve hurt or exhausted him without making myself responsible for fixing everything between us?

How can I help him feel less alone in this relationship when he’s the one who currently feels drained? What does supporting a struggling partner actually look like when they don’t seem receptive to comfort?

How do I work on my insecurity without suppressing every need for affection, communication, and reassurance?

If he needs space, how much space should I give him? Should I let him initiate conversations and affection for a while, or would that make him feel like I’ve stopped trying?

How do I approach a serious conversation about our relationship without making him feel pressured to reassure me or make a decision before he’s ready?

How can we rebuild trust, emotional safety, and affection when there’s already resentment? Is resentment something couples can genuinely work through, and what does that process look like?

How do I know whether he’s emotionally exhausted but still willing to rebuild our relationship, or whether he’s gradually checking out and doesn’t know how to let go?

At what point does being patient and understanding become abandoning your own emotional needs?
How do I know whether I’m fighting for our relationship because we still have something worth rebuilding or because I’m terrified of losing him?

I recently saw someone say that both partners can be tired at the same time, and that one person’s willingness to stay doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is still healthy.

That really made me think. I don’t want to use the fact that I still love him as a reason to ignore how he feels, but I also don’t want to assume that our relationship is beyond saving just because we’re going through a difficult period.

I want to become a healthier partner. I want him to feel loved without feeling responsible for me. I want to learn how to manage my emotions, respect his boundaries, and support him without losing myself in the process.

But I also want a relationship where we both still choose each other, where affection doesn’t feel forced, and where we can communicate honestly about what’s happening instead of silently drifting apart.
I’m scared that if I keep trying, I’ll pressure him further away.

But if I stop trying, I’m scared that I’ll be letting go of someone I love when there might still be a chance for us.

For those who have experienced something similar, especially couples who have gone through resentment, emotional exhaustion, or a period of serious disconnection…

What helped you figure out what to do? What did rebuilding actually require from both partners? And how did you know when it was time to stop trying?

Please be honest with me. I know I have things to work on, and I’m willing to hear difficult truths. I just feel lost, and I need some perspective on what a healthy next step would look like.

So outside toh, not saying it to brag, i look very attractive (been signed as a model etc).
I have manyy guys like me. But then they know me more and they pull away.

Truth of the matter is i have suffered a lot from mental health and i have a bunch of childhood trauma that affected badly my life.

When i open up about it, it ruins the "pretty, cute princess" figure.

And it hurts. As if to know me more, is to love me less.

I don't even care that much about relationships but when a guy i really like, likes me back and then he knows me more and pulls away, makes me think about what that could have been, if i was stable.

​

It is very easy or it is very difficult to maintain a relationship with someone because we want to keep moving forward with new things and new ways, but sometimes it happens that we become old..

It's not that we don't try, it's that we just become old for them...

But yes, the initial moments spent with them, those movements, those laughter, those memories, those songs When we share pictures and laugh after seeing their pictures and have similarities, look into their eyes and love, it feels so good, isn't it?

It's not that we don't try, it's just that sometimes trying isn't enough.

I don't know what it is, but my fate is such that every time I meet someone, I fall in love and the person in front of me breaks it and walks away as if it is a stone lying on the road and someone has thrown it at me.. I know it isn't making sense but understand the feelings because this is what I wish I had someone else, but now with the help of bad luck , life cannot move forward nor do I have to move forward, but still we have to move forward

Why is it that only boys have to let go of their true love?

Because till date I have not seen such girls who yearn for their love, it is not that it has not happened but I have never met one so how can I believe it😜 just joking

I wish there was someone who would scold me and say, you are mine, you will not leave me, I would have also agreed to and say yes mam 😂

Anyways:)

Thanks for reading it..