Just want to say guys and girls. Never ever ever ever take back an ex that left you. It almost ends up the same way and you’ll be in the same predicament especially as the dumper. Life goes on it’s hard right now especially a break up being fresh but choose someone who chooses you and someone who is worth it. Stop dwelling on your ex. They are an ex for a reason. Good luck to everyone on their journey.

Ps I got back with my ex multiple times thinking it would be different every time yet it always ended the same way and now I despise her. Haha

You were the best partner I’ve ever had—the healthiest person who ever entered my life. Yet, because of my own insecurities and the lies I told myself, I sabotaged the relationship. I was selfish, controlling, jealous, irritable, ungrateful, and constantly needy for attention. I acted this way because I felt I wouldn’t be able to live up to the life we ​​had promised each other; I feared you would eventually realize I was a fraud and that I didn’t deserve that life.

The truth is, I hated myself and didn’t know how to accept healthy love. You always went to the ends of the earth for me—you gave me everything you could and even sacrificed things of your own—but I couldn’t appreciate it because I was trapped in my own anxiety and negativity. I created a toxic, push-and-pull dynamic and held you responsible for my pain, which only pushed you further away—even though you never gave me any reason to feel that way; it was all in my head. Naturally, you grew resentful and left me, and I said and did things that I now deeply regret.

You were "my person"—the love of my life—and I was terrified that I wasn’t enough. I am so sorry for all the hurt I caused you and for everything you had to go through because of me. Life doesn’t make much sense without you, but you are happier now without me, and that is the best thing I could wish for you.

I didn’t realize any of this until after the breakup and after I started therapy; I only wish I had sought help sooner.

Basically title,

I guess maybe she had intentions of doing it but we were watching a movie and I heard scratching.

My cat's been missing since last week and I was devastated.

I open the door, let the cat in, smother her and start crying. 2 hours later my now-ex girlfriend says something in lines of:

"you're way too emotional, this isn't working for me".

Whatever lady, my cat is back. I feel a bit sad over the gf but the joy of my cat being here is overwhelming. I've had this cat since 2020.

I'm a 30 year old male for context, my ex is 25. It might hit me later but as of now, I think I'm good.

Everybody says otherwise, but I think it can bring closure even if its painful. Its a different kind of pain, its like a peaceful acceptance pain instead of an anxious pain.

Today I texted my ex and expressed my feelings. We love each other but it’s over. We were going to be friends but it wont work so the conversation became a goodbye. Felt really sad to say goodbye, but it was also liberating to open my heart. I was wanted to express myself, i told him i wasnt expecting any reply, i just wanted him to know how i felt. His replies were caring and polite, but nothing over the top. In the end, I actually felt grateful that I was able to love someone unconditionally in my life, that I experienced true love. Didnt work out, but im still grateful. The truth shall set you free. So live and speak your truth!

5 year relationship, broke up 3 months ago. We were still talking until yesterday, he was helping me with some things. We were (or maybe only I was) still too attached to him and couldn’t let him go completely so I was still clinging into any connection I could from him.

Im 36, he is 35. We were born on the same day, same time, same city. Yet, we met in another country where we both live. I thought it was destiny. This will be my first bday celebrating alone in 5 years. This was a very special date for us.

He is an actor. He is very handsome and charming. Girls would even hit on him in front of me. I was very insecure about my own appearance and was always scared he would fall in love for someone else, specially in his field since he is always surrounded by beautiful young women. All his exes were gorgeous and some are famous.

He works out a lot, and wanted me to be healthy and fit, and my low immune system would make him very worried of growing old with me. He was afraid I would be a sick person that he would have to take care of. I do get sick a lot, and I my endometriosis affected our sex life.

On top of being handsome, he was smart and uplifting, everyone around him loved him.

In the beginning of our relationship, he wasn’t a very good boyfriend. But with time he did improve a lot. He would listen and that was very important to me. We had the same sense of humour and I never had the connection I had with him with anyone else, we could be our childish selves together.

I opened my business 2 years ago, and I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I was extra stressed during that period and he helped me with everything I needed until my big opening, and the day after one of the most important days of my life, he broke up with me, because I was a very stressed person that didn’t make time to take care of myself (workout, eat well, etc). This shattered me.

The moment I was supposed to be growing my business, I had to pick myself up from the ground and take antidepressants to be able to function and not let my business fall. He knew us breaking up would mean I would have to take on 2 rents (my apartment + my business = 4k a month) by myself. I felt incredibly abandoned when I needed him most.

I did everything I could to try to fix things and we got back together, but that feeling of abandonment never left me. He was never willing to commit to anything. Didn’t want to buy a car together, didn’t want to have investments together, didn’t want to work towards a down payment for a house, didn’t want a dog, wasn’t ready for even thinking of talking about kids. He was never ready, but he gave me hope that he would be ready at some point, if I proved that I could get more financially organized, or if we stop having discussions. If we had a discussion, is like we were back at the beginning. I had to walk on eggshells all the time, to try to be the girlfriend he wanted me to be.

2 years later, my business is booming. It always bothered me that he didn’t show too much interest in getting involved in my business, but I would always help him with auditions any time he needed. We actually did two commercials together.

So he was showing less and less interest in our relationship and getting emotionally distant. The final straw was due to a trip that he refused to go with me even though it was really important for me, and I realized that I would always prioritize him, and he would always prioritize himself. So we broke up.

Although he always criticized my financial disorganization (I spend too much, but never been in any debt and I have savings), I paid all the large bills while he would pay for other expenses like food and going out. I never felt it was even or fair, but I felt very uncomfortable talking about money with him. I was open about my finances and he never shared how much he had in savings, while I knew commercials were paying him very well.

He never posted me on instagram. That really hurt me. His insta always looked like he is single.

So, fast forward to today (thanks if you are still reading), to my biggest fear coming true: 3 months later, he is dating a gorgeous actress. He will be a better partner thanks to my patience (he never been in a long relationship before, whereas Ive been married for 10 years before meeting him). He is in a better financial position, while he was broke when we met, and I endured a lot.

So I feel like shit. I feel like I was just a ladder and now he can be with someone that understands his career better than I, someone who is hotter and can probably satisfy him better than me.

Week 9 of the breakup. Safe to say I didn’t want it - I tried to fight for us but he believed it was the right choice. Now I’m fighting the want to reach out almost daily - I don’t even know what I’d expect from it in all honesty. I know he’d just say he’s fine. Currently thinking of sending a letter so I can unburden myself without the expectation of a reply.

Like the title says…anyone got a story to share so I feel less alone?

Four years of laughs, love, talks, hugs, the quiet morning or night we share just in each other’s company. 2 months later I am a blip and you already are talking and dating other guys. How, I wake up everyday and have to remind myself you are gone. How can you change how you act and behave so fast. In the end you burned me to feel warm and I could never do that to you. I hope you are ok but I hope more I can just wake up 1 out of 3 days and be ok and get out of bed.

as the one who ended the rs (was definitely a needed bu due to personal reasons), it’s been 7 months and i want her back more than anything. She told me she doesn’t want a rs but i am willing to wait, even if it ends up not being me she chooses.

I’m really struggling icl, i know i can’t reach out and i know i have to be patient but holy fuck i miss her so badly.

I’d appreciate some motivation or just advice in general as i really am going through it

It’s been two weeks as of today. Realistically I know it’s too soon to truly start moving on but everything is so painful. Two weeks of crying every day. Two weeks of hardly being able to stomach food or sleep through the night. Two weeks of mourning the loss of my partner, our future, the kids.

This man was everything I’d ever wanted. So sweet. So kind. So thoughtful. So funny. Actually communicated and expressed his thoughts and emotions. Cared about mine. Expressed love in the way I’d always wanted to be loved and he loved my affection too. I’d never seen so much love in someone’s eyes before, in his smile. I felt it in his embrace. And I’d finally felt comfortable enough to be myself and let my guard down. Finally allowed myself to experience and accept true happiness. No doubt in my mind that this was my person, that this was my forever. He’s truly the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

I never saw it coming. Admittedly life is complicated. There’s struggles. But we’d stayed by each other’s side. He asked not to give up on him and I never did. I knew what I was signing up for. But now he doesn’t have the capacity to continue the relationship. I’m over analyzing all of my perceived flaws, anxious that somehow after all this time I finally became too much. That I no longer brought him comfort. But he said he still loved me. Just that he needs to focus on himself and life.

So as much as I hope that we’ll make our way back to each other I need to accept that we may not. But I don’t know how to even begin moving on. I don’t even want to. But I do want the pain to stop. There’s hardly a second that goes by that I’m not thinking of him. Missing him. Crying at the pain of losing him. He needs time to work things out, and that’s valid, but in that time I need to work on myself too. Maybe be a little less anxious. Maybe communicate even better. Maybe love a little less intensely.

I need to learn to be okay with being alone because it feels like that’s what life is giving me. But I’m scared. And idk where to start.

I don’t blame you for not reaching out over the week or for not meeting my timeline. I genuinely hope everything works out for you. I really wanted things to work, but over the past week, I’ve had time to reflect on our relationship, and I think it’s for the best that it’s over. I’m not telling you any of this to get a reaction or make you feel bad, but maybe one day you’ll look back and reflect, too.

I feel like I was emotionally abused. Even if it wasn’t intentional, the impact it had on me was still real. I deserved a space where I could communicate openly when something hurt me without having to spend days worrying about your reaction, carefully rehearsing my words, and trying to approach you as gently as possible just to be heard. Instead, you hung up on me mid sentence and would ghost me, refused to talk to me, and made me feel like I owed you an apology for bringing up things that hurt me. Somehow, the conversation always became about how I annoyed you by bringing it up instead of what you did to hurt me. I spent so much time questioning myself and trying to make things easier for you that I lost sight of how much I was hurting.

I didn’t deserve to beg for the bare minimum, whether that was flowers, affection, reassurance, or feeling acknowledged as your girlfriend. I didn’t deserve to feel like I was competing with other women for my own boyfriend’s attention, to have my concerns dismissed when you continued giving them attention, or to feel like you wanted to keep our relationship private on social media to leave the door open to other sources of attention and validation. I wanted to feel chosen, respected, and secure in my relationship. Those weren’t unreasonable things to want.

I spent so much of our relationship protecting your feelings while mine went unprotected. I gave you chance after chance, made excuses for things that hurt me, and constantly tried to find gentler ways to communicate because I believed our relationship was worth fighting for. I was willing to work through our problems because I loved you and wanted a future with you. But I rarely felt that same effort, empathy, or willingness to understand me in return. I was so busy trying to be a good girlfriend to you by protecting your feelings that I didn’t stop to ask whether you were being a good boyfriend to me.

And after everything, I didn’t deserve to be broken up with and have my experiences twisted into making me out to be a bad partner. I tried to communicate my needs and feelings, but you treated them like an inconvenience and labeled me as unreasonable, crazy, micromanaging, etc rather than acknowledging the ways you were hurting me. I wasn’t trying to micromanage you. I wanted respect, honesty, commitment, and consideration. You were allowed to have feelings about my anxiety too, but I deserved the same willingness to listen and understand that you expected from me.

The breakup hurt so deeply because I wasn’t just losing you. I was watching someone I loved turn the very things I had been trying to work through into reasons why I was the problem. You twisted your inability to be a good partner into me being the bad partner just because I wanted to communicate. And afterward, I kept begging you to choose me, hoping that if I explained myself one more time, you would finally understand. Every rejection made me question my worth even more. I deserved better than having to plead with someone who had already hurt me so much to want to work things out with me.

I deserved to feel safe communicating with my partner. I deserved to feel loved without having to beg for it, respected without having to argue for it, and chosen without having to compete for it. I deserved someone who cared about how his actions affected me, even when he didn’t intend to hurt me.

I deserved better then, and I deserve better now. I can be sad about losing you and angry about how you treated me. I can miss what was good without wanting to return to what hurt me. And I can accept that this relationship is over without believing that losing it means I lost something I will never find again.

I'm scared that I might never fall in love again.

It's been a while since my last breakup. I've stopped looking at our old chats, photos, and even the discussion accounts we used to share. I stopped revisiting all of it a long time ago, and I genuinely thought I was doing better.

Recently, I started talking to someone new. For the first time since the breakup, I actually found myself interested in having long conversations with someone again. But then I noticed something that honestly broke me a little.
Throughout our conversations, I'd catch myself thinking, "if he were the one, he would've responded differently. If this were him, I know exactly what he'd say".

And I didn't even realize I was doing it until recently.

I think a part of me is still comparing everyone to my ex, even though I'm not actively trying to. We ended things on good terms. I haven't reached out, not even once, and neither has he. I guess he's moved on too, or at least he's continuing with his life without me.

The thing is, I've never met anyone I've felt so compatible with. My ex genuinely felt like my twin flame, if you believe in that kind of thing. We just got each other in ways I've never experienced with anyone else.

And the part that scares me most is that I'm still afraid of him coming back. Not because I want to chase him or because I'm waiting around for a message. I mean, I'm scared of the possibility that he'd come back genuinely wanting to fix things and work through everything together, because I know there's still a part of me that would want that too.

I'm angry at him sometimes. I hate that someone who isn't even in my life anymore can still have this much influence over how I see everyone else. I hate that I can be genuinely interested in someone new and still find myself measuring the conversation against something that no longer exists.

Two days ago, I cried so hard over all of this. It felt almost ridiculous because I thought I'd already processed the breakup. I thought not checking his accounts, not rereading our messages, and not contacting him meant I'd finally made peace with everything.

But apparently, there's still so much grief sitting underneath all that.

I know I probably don't need a new partner right now, thanks to that talking stage guy, make me realize this phase. I think I need to figure out how to stop being afraid that the best kind of connection I'll ever experience is already behind me.

But how do you actually do that?
For those of you who have loved someone you genuinely thought was your person, especially when the relationship didn't end in some dramatic betrayal or a situation that made it easy to hate them, did you ever fall in love like that again?

Did you eventually meet someone who made you realize your ex wasn't the only person you could feel that way about? Or did the way you love people change permanently after that?

I don't want to get back together just because I'm scared I'll never find anything comparable. But I'm also terrified that I'll spend the rest of my life looking for something that only ever existed with him.

Please tell me this is something you can actually heal from.

My ex and I were together 5 years, from 20-25 years old. We’ve lived together for 2.5 years and still do now, though that’s something we’re both trying to change.

A week ago, I was blindsided by a breakup. I noticed things were slightly off in the week(ish) before that, with less physical affection and less saying “I love you”, but didn’t think much of it.

What I’m struggling with is that the breakup is two things at once.

1) My ex was no longer happy with me, and apparently had not loved me or found me attractive for 2 months.

From what I could find out, this is in part due to them taking on a lot of the house work in recent months. I 100% own up that I’ve carried less stuff but in my honest opinion, it’s because work has been a nightmare and other personal issues have put me in a really bad slump. When roles were reversed I was not angry to look after my ex, and if it had been brought up seriously (rather than “it’s nice when you cook but it’s fine either way!”) I’d have changed it.

My self esteem was also raised as an issue. Again, it’s something I’ve been working reaaaally fucking hard on.

2) My ex caught feelings for their coworker and had what I’d consider an emotional affair - ranting to her about me, flirting, sending flowers behind my back.

They’re going to be working together for the next multiple years, and I had asked the question if anything was happening between them and been told no to my face. It came out when the coworker confessed her feelings, and my ex confessed back rather than shooting it down. My ex still has feelings for her and might pursue it.

Basically, after finding all this out I did the usual crying and begging. I was willing to make it work, to do anything, but they just didn’t want to try. Not even after five years.

The whole situation has left me feeling discarded, ugly, uninteresting and like a really bad person. I still love my ex, and the fact I’ve put too much pressure on them this year makes me so sad. The idea of them moving on without me makes me ill, and I would genuinely do anything to fix things - even forgive what I see as a pretty big betrayal.

And the whole two month thing is really messing with my head. In the span of those two months, my ex booked me a holiday, we celebrated birthdays, slept side by side, were intimate, etc. I don’t know how I’ll trust anyone again.

I’m basically just looking for any advice, anyone who’s dealt with a similar situation, and some hope that it gets better because I’ve gone completely numb inside.

If you’re ever feeling bottled up and down, please go out and do something for someone.

A friend, a relative, a stranger. Anyone.

It can be holding the door open, getting lunch for someone, or giving a compliment.

Being hurt doesn’t mean you have to stop giving love.

My ex and I were together for six years, starting in our freshman year of college. We essentially grew up together, and I genuinely believed we would build a future together.

Throughout our relationship, we struggled with communication, but her insecurities were also a significant issue. She often felt threatened by me making female friends, following them on Instagram, or finding other women attractive. I never had romantic intentions with anyone else; I was simply meeting people and expanding my social circle. I tried reassuring her, but these issues repeatedly led to arguments. I would become defensive or shut down, while she sometimes insulted me or refused to believe me. We developed an unhealthy communication pattern that we never fully resolved.

Things became harder when we moved in together during the last year of our relationship. I was working around 50 hours a week, adjusting to a demanding job and a new city, and struggling with stress and exhaustion. We argued about household responsibilities and unmet needs. She felt I wasn't doing enough, while I felt my efforts weren't being recognized.

Looking back, I know there were times when I could have communicated better, listened instead of becoming defensive, and been more understanding of her feelings. I wish I had handled certain situations differently, but I also felt that my efforts to reassure and support her weren't always enough. I think we both had needs that weren't being met, and we struggled to communicate them in a healthy way.

Despite our problems, I loved her deeply. She was my first love and best friend. I tried showing my love through thoughtful gifts, planning dates, and doing things to make her happy. I never stopped loving her or believing we could work through our problems.

Near the end, she became increasingly close to a male coworker and started confiding in him emotionally. Eventually, she broke up with me, and I realized their connection had crossed emotional boundaries while we were still together. I felt blindsided because I knew we had problems, but I genuinely believed we would work through them together.

Now I'm struggling with the fact that I can see so many of my own mistakes. I keep wondering whether things would have turned out differently if I had been more mature, listened better, and understood her needs sooner. At the same time, I'm deeply hurt that after six years together, she developed an emotional connection with someone else rather than communicating her unhappiness and giving us a chance to work through things.

I don't want to use her emotional cheating to avoid accountability for my mistakes, but I also don't want to blame myself for her choices. I still love her, and I wish things had turned out differently. This was my first serious relationship, and we grew up together. I'm grieving not only the loss of someone I love, but also the future I thought we would have.

For those who have experienced something similar, how did you learn from your mistakes without blaming yourself for your ex's decision to emotionally cheat? How do you move on when you still love someone who hurt you so deeply?

1. Wearing a perfume/cologne from a time before my ex, specifically when I was happy being by myself. Scent is the closest sense tied to memory. So when I put on a fragrance from a season in my life where I was totally content by myself, my mind unconsciously goes to that memory and I start to feel like that version of myself. Specifically I wear a perfume from high school. It reminds me of a version of myself who was busy with friends, focused on school, who was hopeful and felt like she had the whole world at her feet. Just doing me. And I start to embody that version without realizing it. Definitely avoid any scents you wore when you were with your ex. And once you’re finally healed, find a new fragrance you can connect to a healed, more confident version of yourself. But don’t do that until you’re fully healed, or you might associate the scent with the emotions you felt during the break up/while you were struggling to heal.

2. Listening to music that has no lyrics, such as classical or jazz. It seems like every other song is either a love song or a break up song. And I really wanted to avoid reminiscing on a time when we were in love, or after it ended and I was in a really bad place. Music scores from movies is also a good choice. Just don’t pick a movie you used to watch with them. I put on a classical station on my drive to work, because the silence can create a space where rumination takes over.

3. There were times such as weekends we dedicated to each other. When they come up I get really anxious about dwelling on my ex, so to fill the space I look for some community events I can attend that have no association with that person. Putting yourself out there and meeting new people helps to give you the perspective that there’s more in life than your ex.

4. Going on medication was honestly a life saver. I just so happened to start a regimen for other reasons, not related to my ex. They started taking full effect shortly after we went fully no contact. I thought that time would really break me, but with the medication in my system I’ve been thinking about it a lot less and it’s so much easier to detach myself mentally and emotionally from the thoughts I do have about him. If it’s been weeks or even months since the break up and you still feel yourself suffering, I would honestly recommend seeking professional help.

5. Watching videos on really out there subjects, such as alternate dimensions, aliens, esoteric subjects, or cryptids, for a few examples, helps to just take my mind off that person. I’m focused on subjects that challenge or at least entertain the ideas of life beyond what we consider reality. There’s a really good video by Aperture on YouTube called “you are the universe experiencing itself” which is pretty long at 48 minutes, but it was 48 minutes of my life I was totally unfocused on my ex, 48 minutes of my life I got back for myself. Honestly most of Aperture’s videos are a great way to shift gears and think about the bigger picture of life, as they all touch on subjects which challenge what we consider reality.

6. Delving into artistic hobbies, like painting or drawing. Getting the creative juices flowing. Also, writing. When I’m creating my own world, I feel like I have control over something and it makes me feel empowered, even if it’s just on paper. And painting can be really therapeutic. When you’re expressing how you feel on canvas, you’re free to let it all out in a nonjudgmental space. There’s also some good drawing techniques which help clear and focus the mind on whatever you’re doing. They involve repetitive movement that the mind hones in on.

7. Get rid of anything that reminds you of that person. Any of their clothes they left at your place, pictures of them, mementos of dates, gifts they’ve given you. Just toss it all out or burn it. It sounds harsh and it might be really difficult to let go. You might cry or feel an intense wave of emotion as you’re doing it. But having constant, little reminders of them does nothing to help you forget them or move on.

Anyway these are just a few ways I’ve found help in the process of getting through it, which hopefully helps someone else. If you find any of this useful, I’m really happy for you. Break ups are rough, and they can take a really long time to get over. So any little bit helps.

One day will be good, then you'll think you're finally gonna be okay, and then the next day is the most gut wrenching horrible feeling ever. One day you'll think of them less, and then the next day, you're on the floor having panic attacks because you want them and can't stop thinking about them. My chest is hurting everyday. I have this feeling of impending doom every morning. How do I cope?

Mein Ex (m/29) und ich (w/30) haben unsere Beziehung nach 1,5 Jahren beendet, wovon wir aufgrund seiner Arbeit sieben Monate eine Fernbeziehung geführt haben.
Pointiert gesagt, haben wir uns während des Großteils unserer Beziehung nur gestritten, da ich mich nicht ausreichend geliebt und nicht priorisiert gefühlt habe. Im Laufe der letzten Monate hat er sich daraufhin emotional so weit von mir distanziert, dass ich ihm mittlerweile scheinbar gleichgültig geworden bin. Schließlich hat er die Beziehung beendet.
Ich habe darum gekämpft und gehofft, dass wir es noch einmal gemeinsam versuchen, da wir zusammenwohnen und seine Arbeit im Ausland mittlerweile beendet ist. Dadurch würden einige der bisherigen Streitpunkte wegfallen.
Anfangs war er bereit, es noch einmal zu versuchen, um herauszufinden, ob seine Gefühle mit der Zeit wieder zurückkommen können. Allerdings fühlte es sich für mich sehr einseitig an. Ich war mir unsicher, ob er emotional bereits vollständig mit der Beziehung abgeschlossen hatte. Deshalb habe ich häufig nachgefragt, ob er es wirklich auch von sich aus noch versuchen möchte oder ob er es nur mir zuliebe tut.
Daraufhin war bzw. ist es nun endgültig vorbei, da ich ihm scheinbar nicht die nötige Zeit geben konnte. Dabei hätte ich ihm diese Zeit gegeben. Ich wollte lediglich einen Funken Sicherheit, dass ich nicht die Einzige bin, die noch in die Beziehung investieren möchte.
Die Trennung ist mittlerweile einen Monat her, und seit einer Woche ist er sich zu 100 % sicher, dass er es auch nicht mehr versuchen möchte.

Nun zu meiner Frage: Da wir noch auf unbestimmte Zeit zusammenwohnen (ich bin allerdings bereits auf Wohnungssuche), uns weiterhin normal unterhalten, gemeinsam Zeit verbringen, täglich kuscheln und intim miteinander sind: Denkt ihr, dass seine Gefühle wieder entstehen können, oder ist der Zug abgefahren?

Ich weiß, dass es wahrscheinlich nicht gut für mich ist, mich weiterhin darauf einzulassen, da ich mich dadurch jeden Tag aufs Neue selbst verletze und mich an jeden noch so kleinen Funken Hoffnung klammere.

I’m curious about this. I was in a relationship that was quite beautiful but complicated. I ultimately ended it because I was frustrated and emotionally exhausted. Things have been this way for a bit for both of us. However, it mostly was the lack of being able to be emotionally intelligent like listening and understanding and also just staying calm and gentle when a problem arose. He was also showing signs of insecurity on his end and barely lowered his guard to be vulnerable. The stubborn tendency was too much I became afraid to ever speak any insecurities or feelings that would make me feel like I wish I could share but I knew it would end up in a fight that would blow up so big! I had to walk away. There was nothing more left for me to do. It was constant. It hurt so much. But I’m honestly curious if any of you men have reflected and changed for the better. Did you learn to open up, to STOP AND LISTEN? Did you ever learn to finally understand your partner?

The title is a statement I have never used in my life and don't use lightly. We dated for under 3 months and everything was literally perfect, everything was so easy and natural... being with him felt like home. He was acting like we were moving towards a commited relationship, suggesting we do things many months out, telling me how crazy he was about me, etc.

Then we had a minor miscommunication/argument over text that turned into petty back and forth for a day and further misunderstanding of intended meanings behind texts, which resulted in him breaking up with me because he felt that it was a red flag for us to have an argument this early. Normally I can be sad and move on without too much trouble.... but this has left me emotionally whiplashed.

We haven't spoken in over a week since the breakup and I dont intend to reach out, out of respect for his wish to end it. I dont even want to give myself hope that he could see this as fatalistic thinking and come back because it's honestly so painful to continue to sit in this space. Part of me knows that wanting someone who ran at the first sign of friction does not make logical sense. I dont know if I want reassurance or advice... maybe I just wanted a space to be able to get it out.

We were each other’s first long term relationship, and firsts in almost everything.

After our breakup which we ended up on good terms, she really changed. Only weeks later she found another guy, who I heard was a good guy so I won’t be upset about that, only for her to cheat on him twice with random guys, then breakup. She’s become almost unrecognisable.

Two days later, she gets with the guy she swore she would never date, who she always spoke shit about to me and how awful of a guy he is, who’s done so much harm to her in the past, who is the most misogynistic guy I’ve ever known, only for her to get with him.

Her friends told me they were disgusted about the things she was saying about guys, how she just wants to get with every guy because she can.

I’m not slut-shaming, it’s her life. It hurts because I am sad she went down that path, she’s become unrecognisable from when I knew her, and even her friends agree. I sometimes wish she would just find a good guy and have a long-term relationship, rather than make stupid decisions I know she’ll regret.

I’m so hurt and was so confused that I really should have done it years ago. What hurts most is that they took more time when they already know it was over. I’m over here fighting for what? I was never put first very much. They gatekeep sex and made it the worst thing when it happened. They held back on everything and told me nothing. Used my back to get there life straight and I think they were giving me the revenge for the abuser. Fucking habitual liar, i feel like she cheated possibly constantly. She never was for me. Never checked in, Only wanted to control me by any means necessary. Just a gross violation of taken advantage while having a mental breakdown. Why wud I want this, it baffles me why I thought that was good. My kids is the only good thing that came from her. I’m glad I’ve woke up out that spell cuz that shit was terrible. I deserve someone that can love like I can. If not I’ll be single forever I can deal with loneliness. Think ima get a cat

Hello, I have never made a post like this but need help as I feel like I am going insane. My girlfriend for over 5 years recently broke up with me. The sited multiple reasons for the break up the main ones were that we could not just cuddle because I would try to have sex with her while we were both asleep and that I avoided talking with her about feelings. While I am asleep and would make advances on her while she was asleep eventually we would both be awake and she would not use the safe word I did not know at the time that she was not okay with this. We had a relationship where we were okay with being woken up this way but she did not like it because I fall asleep very easily so a cuddle session would turn into that. The next point is that I would avoid conflict either in our relationship or with strangers. If we had an argument I just wanted it to be over so we could be happy with each other again. Not everything was like this but it happened enough that I start to go to therapy to work on it. And for strangers I would just avoid conflict all together, they say something, cut me off, are in my seat. I did not really care there were ways to go around it so I would get around it so I could go back to being happy. Those are just two of the reasons there are others but to move onto the main point.

She has moved on she said she stopped loving me a year ago, but just choose to end it nearing 3 months ago now. I am still very much in love with her despite our problems and started to see more doctors to address the problems when we were still together. I was trying to get better with her but I guess she waited long enough. Anyway she has moved on to someone else and they have been on two dates so far. I know this because they are a friend from my friend group and I was told. I am not happy for either of them. I think she moved on very quickly, and I am hurt that someone I know and hang out with would accept dating my girl friend after what I feel like is a very short time. (Someone told me he liked her while we were dating and did not date anyone else in all that time but that is not confirmed)

We have been doing the stay as friends for right now as I work on myself and I thought there was a chance of us getting back together but she has made it pretty clear she does not see me as a romantic partner anymore. Every time I talk to her I still get the same butterflies I did when we were together and her voice and face light up my dark day. I very much miss her and cry when I wake up and go to sleep because I know its over. Being friends I feel she is leading me on because I still hold hope we can get back together which I have told her. I just don't know if we can still be friends which I would like but I only see her as a romantic partner.

When I talk to my friends for advice they just groan about me still trying and that she was a leech mentally, emotionally and financially which they did not tell me until after the break up but they have messages with each other going back to when we first started dating stating this. I trust them but I am just looking for some outside sources on this. I think I am just in denial.

. If more context is needed I can provide it. And sorry for it being such a mess.

I feel like i’ve been going crazy and that time will never heal this wound he’s left in my heart, i wanna preface this by saying im gay. i loved him so much, im writing this right now because it can feel pain in my heart. he was obsessed with me to a certain extent so that made me obsessed with him. he had a girlfriend that he’d end up ignoring to call me instead and eventually broke up with her to get with me. It’s not wgat i wanted, id text her first to see if they were already talking so i could talk to him. any free time we had we’d call all day. i loved him so much because hes who i wanted to be, he was confident, he was liked by his friends, he was just so much better than me. he’d talk shit about all his friends and how he only needed me. after we stopped talking i was in denial, and then anger how could he break up with me when he was so in love. then depression and depression, there are times i feel much better and times i dont. if im not completely distracted with work or school or other relationships i think about him. he doesnt think about me, i stay up when i cant sleep imaging convos we could be having rn, him coming up to me one day apologizing for not talking to me for so long and how he misses me. how i was the best thing he’s ever had. but i know that wont happen, i know he doesnt think about me the way i think about him, i know he will never get back with me. yet i feel this weight in my heart seeing him, hearing his name, i catch myself staring when im not supposed to. he wants nothing to do with me yet i feel so attached, i compare any possible relationship to the one we had, i haven’t had feelings for someone over a month after him, i haven’t felt happiness outside of a hangout or anything, ive tried distracting myself, meeting new people, friends who dont like him or dont know him. but i just want him back, ive gone crazy enough to try love spells and manifesting him as if that was going to happen, im afraid i wont be happy in life without him