Hello everyone,

It's been 8 months since my breakup, and honestly, it still feels as painful as it did in the beginning.

What makes it so brutal is how deeply I loved her. She wasn't just another relationship to me. I genuinely saw a future with her, and unfortunately, I made a huge mistake that hurt her badly. The moment I realized what I had done, I apologized sincerely and repeatedly. I tried to take responsibility, change my behavior, and be there for her in any way I could. I wanted nothing more than to repair what I had broken.

At first, she told me she still wanted us and wanted to continue the relationship. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she changed her mind and ended things.

After the breakup, I respected her space and went into no contact for two months. When I reached out afterward, I completely opened my heart to her. I was vulnerable, honest, and hoped we could at least have a conversation. Instead, she blocked me everywhere and declined any chance of talking things through. That was the final blow.

Since then, I've been trying to move forward, but the truth is that I'm struggling badly. She's on my mind almost every waking moment. The pain hasn't really gone away. Some days, it feels just as intense as it did eight months ago.

The thing that hurts me the most isn't even the breakup itself anymore. It's the thought that she may already be with someone else, or that someday she will be.

The idea of another man holding her, kissing her, making her laugh, telling her he loves her, sharing experiences with her that I once dreamed of sharing... it absolutely destroys me. Those thoughts make me physically sick. Sometimes they hit me so hard that I can barely function. They keep me awake at night, bring me to tears before I fall asleep, and sometimes they're the very first thing I think about when I wake up.

I know I don't have any right to control her life, and I know she deserves to be happy. But emotionally, I just can't seem to accept the possibility of her sharing that part of her life with someone else.

Is anyone else going through something similar?

How do you cope with these thoughts when they feel overwhelming? How do you let go when a part of you is still holding on to hope that maybe, somehow, they'll come back?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been through this and made it to the other side.

How can you have someone you love and share so many good memories with which you'll spend a lifetime reminiscing and think "Life just got infinitely better" but then just decide... It's better if the relationship ends?

I'm not talking about cheating or committing a crime or whatever. They wronged you, then yeah, ending it reasonable.

But if you're just scared of commitments or suddenly decide you don't want a relationship at the moment. You'd rather end it than make it work? Working it is harder and more painful than leaving?

I (37F) have been a firefighter in the U.S. for a decade. My coworkers and I work for 6 months in the summers and then we are all off for 6 months in the winter. We are all incredibly enmeshed in each others' lives. We bond through the shittiest of work and spend every summer day toiling alongside each other.

In my 10-year career, I have felt incredibly comfortable being my authentic self at work -- which means wearing my heart on my sleeve and talking about my personal life. It has never been an issue.

Until now.

Long story short, I moved to Alaska to be with someone who is also a coworker. We do the same exact job and work out of the same base of operations. This person broke up with me my first season here, and to say it's been an absolute hell is an understatement. Having to go into work and see this person be just fine, and act as if I didn't mean anything, has been intolerable. I turned to my coworkers for support over my ex when we all returned to work in March of this year. They were there for me, until they weren't.

In trying to get closure/a conversation with my ex who was at work, I became emotionally volatile (depressed, panicked) and even suicidal. My coworkers were my friends and I asked if they had the capacity to support me. They all said yes, until shit started getting weird. They started completely ignoring me and one of them snapped on me twice for perceived sleights (she thought I rolled my eyes at her, but I did not!) When things got weird, I decided to bail to take care of a chronic injury and have a life-altering hip surgery. And that's when it became clear: none of them care about me anymore.

It's been almost 5 months since I left for the surgery (which came with multiple complications) and not one of them have reached out to me. Sitting in that discomfort every day is excruciating.

Fast forward to today: I was told that each of these coworkers now expect me to just come in, do my job, and leave everything else at home. They no longer want "me" and expect me to just have a work persona.

I am so uncomfortable and scared. As I said, I wear my heart on my sleeve -- that is who I am at my core. I now have to learn to be someone else? I have no idea how to just go in there and act like anyone but me.

For a decade I have gone in, made banter, cracked jokes, talked about home life & hobbies, bullshitted, and had heartfelt conversations. And now I am expected to go in and be someone I'm not?

How do I do this? I am so scared! I am no longer allowed to go to work and be me... it's fucked. I don't understand how I'm supposed to walk in there around all of these triggers and just be "ok" -- especially as someone who feels everything deeply.

Disclaimers: Yes, I have a therapist and yes, we are going to be working on it. No, I am not willing to take a different job.

Please help, any and all advice is welcomed.

I don't even have words for my situation. But I understand all of you. and I'm sorry for what you're going through.

It's so hard to find a silver lining in this moment but I've learned something important, if you've loved someone profoundly once, you can do it again.

I know I'm not ruined for love because I recently loved someone more intensely than my "first love" - someone I loved with every fiber of my being, no one else I dated over the years ever fully matched the significance i placed on that relationship, I started to believe that kind of passion was something you could only have once in a lifetime. now I know it's simply rare, but it's out there.

The intensity of my new love was completely unexpected, beautiful and exciting. had they loved me back and seen a future with me, I would have had profound peace and happiness in my life. it felt like all the emotional wounds of my past heartbreaks had closed up within a week of knowing him and it felt amazing. now there's a new wound in the wake of losing this person, but i still feel completely healed from my past relationship trauma. my perspective on relationships has transformed. real love has the power to renew you and should fill everyone in this subreddit with hope for the future.

the moral of the story is there are other people in the world who will help us fully heal our current heartbreak one day, if we're patient enough to not settle. no more ruminating, comparing, or idealizing the past. I believe everything will make sense in the end and the pain will be completely recontextualized into wisdom, nothing more nothing less.

It’s been over 2 years since the breakup but I’m aching terribly, missing his voice, fragrance and intoxicating smile. His mere presence added the most meaningful texture to my life. And without him, even though I am doing everything else that gives me happiness like focusing on career and traveling, it doesn’t touch or soothe the void that he left. I cannot deal with missing him, realising he is slowly disappearing from parts of my life where he was still connected. We don’t talk anymore, and the thought of him moving on, the memories of the relationship and the grief of knowing he may not be coming back is tearing me apart. And these words don’t represent even a fraction of the ache and hurt I’m feeling. Whatever hurt and pain you’re able to gather from this post, multiply it by 10,000 to even fathom the surface of what I’m going through. I feel like sleeping through my days. And I’m exhausted.

How do I (31 F) {I earn more than him} address the financial imbalance and lack of ambition in my relationship?

I live with my boyfriend, he is 25 M [below minimum wage earner] and he is a very caring, kind, and sweet partner. and I am (31 F) [Above minimum wage earner ] However, I am currently paying for all the bills and food because his job doesn't bring in much income. I know bringing this up can make him feel small, but life is feeling really heavy for me right now. It’s hard not to feel resentful when I think about other couples who share the financial load, while I have to shoulder it all myself. this is our life since then, but he takes care of me, cook food, do laundry wash dishes, everything. but I also do it for him when he is tired and i don't have much work

Whenever I get the chance, I encourage him to learn new skills or study something that could help him get a better income for our future. He always says yes and agrees with me, but he never actually takes any steps to make it happen. I think he is completely content with what he has right now, but all I want is for him to take some initiative, do more for our future, and help share the financial weight. I really want to leave him but I always think about his feelings and what will happen to him after i left him which makes my heart hurts so much because he is nice, sweet, loyal, caring but my future is not secured with him.
Her mom is also so performative and I can see that even if I do efforts, i can see that sometimes she doesn't appreciate me at all. and that is adding to the weight :(

I am talking about this many times but it seems like no change at all and he also said he just going with the flow since he didn't go to college, there are so many ways to do something right?
Has anyone else navigated a situation where your partner is content but you need them to step up financially?

And then this september, my ex (first boyfriend of 7 years) messaged me and wants to be friends with me, actually he still in contact with my dad and also i still in contact with her very kind and nice mom,
We had conversation, and we became friends, i know it's not nice to talk to him while im still in a relationship but i just want to be friends with him and we are not mad at each other, he is a chef de partie now at a restaurant in Venice, Italy and asking me if i want to go with him there, his mom also wants me to go there, before he even came back and talk to me i already wanna go abroad to leave my boyfriend and start a new life,
My siblings are mad with my ex and I don't know what will happen if we come back together, I know they will get mad at me but this is for them too :(
My ex wants me to end things with my current boyfriend before he takes me there, im so heartbroken and depressed because it's really hard to choose between the man I love but without a future with him and my ex who's my future is secure and i will be able to go to Italy, earn more for my disabled mom and my aging dad, they're 60 years old now and I want to give them a better life and bring them to europe because it's their dream, i don't know what to do :(

I am male, 21 years old, university student. She is also the same age and one of my group mates. As of today, 22/10/2026, I have been infatuated with her for 8 months, since February 2026. I cannot move on and my ability to enjoy things has been severely hindered.

Everyday, I see her. I talk to her a lot. We do not exactly share a personal sense of humour, but the group humour works for both of us, and most of my interactions with her have been within the group context. Other group mates crack jokes, we laugh; I crack a joke, group mates laugh, she laughs. That sort of things. We do not have a common hobby, nor anything in common. She likes a different type of music from me, her worldview is much different from mine, our family backgrounds are also much different, she likes TikTok while I do not, she is an ordinary girl while I am an outliner socially speaking. The only thing that keeps us together is essentially our group work, which would continue for the next 6 months.

Back in February, when I first met her, it took a few weeks for me to develop feelings for her. She matches my preference for beauty. She has a mild manner and is socially skilled, a good student although a wee bit behind me in GPA, and we have gotten to known each other on a closer level than just mere group mates. At first, her laughter, her manner, her warm interactions were like therapy to me. Usually, I think of a lot of negative stuff, try to solve problems, puzzles in life, and expect nothing good to ever come out of anything. Her presence made my mind fixate on her and ignore the other stuff, so I find it very nice. I enjoyed talking to her a lot, sought after classes with her, seats next to her, etc. But she has a boyfriend.

I do not have plans to take her away from her boyfriend, nor do I expect her to say yes if I, for whatever reason against my better judgement, ask her out. I would not love her at all if she betrays her boyfriend for me, thus I would never ask her out, though I am living in pain due to her unavailability. I would not ask her out either because my emotions are my own responsibility to deal with, and I would not want to burden her in any way.

After the initial novelty died out, I have spent months in agony about her. This summer, I returned to my hometown while she returned to hers, and we had not met each other for two months, but for those two months I had sustained her image in my mind for every single day, and the obsession still goes on, which I assume to be indefinite unless something is done.

I value her as a friend, since she is quite good and keen at group work. I do not want to depart from her friendship. I do, however, wish to end this agonizing infatuation. My life feels drained out of enjoyment. I cannot get over her on my own. I thought of approaching another girl but I find it extremely unfair for that girl if she gets into a relationship with me while I am still infatuated with the other girl. Actually, a different girl approached me and gave me greenlight to ask her out recently, and I declined her. I did not want to hurt her nor anyone.

Sometimes, I feel like I should just withdraw from everyone, isolate myself until everything dies down, and emerge when nobody really knows what I do in private anymore. I was in that situation during the sophomore year. It was a dreadfully long process, but it did help remove the feelings for a previous girl whom I was also infatuated with. I would much rather a solution that would not cause me further agony.

My friends in the group, save for her, all know that I am into her. I talk to them about it but they give shallow responses or jokes that do not really help me solve anything. Therapists are unavailable in my location. I feel helpless often.

What do I even do at this point? All of this suffering has so far been utterly meaningless. When I reflect on this situation, I learn more about myself, but the infatuation has really stayed beyond its welcome. I need it to go as fast as possible without hurting anyone else but me, or I will collapse into despair. Every time, it is like this. I have never felt happy during my whole life.

Throw away. Would appreciate advice. Thank you

Well 2 months ago a girl (mutual friend introduced us) I've been seeing since January of this year got a boyfriend. Mid August was her birthday and a I was exicited to spend it with her going to get breakfast in the morning, take her shopping and just be together. Well in the morning I logged in to a social media app. And someone new appeared in my fyp. It was someone wishing her a happy birthday and that he loves her and wants to spend this one and all others with her.

I was heartbroken. I called her about it. She confirmed that yes she and the guy were a couple. She apologized for it. She said she thought I only liked her as a friend and never more than that. She did say she at one point did want to be my girlfriend but because I never said anything she moved on.

I asked her if I told her my feelings sooner would she be my girlfriend, she said of course. She also said she didnt want to hurt me because she genuinely cares for me. She also said she loves me but won't leave her relationship inspite of it. The first week I cried all the time. Lost sleep (still do), food has no flavor at all, time drags since then. I've lost all motivation (I'M NOT SU##DAL) just wake up lay in bed, go to work, come home lay and get whatever little sleep I can. I sometimes take a sleeping pill to help (like since then I took 4 of them).

While talking i told her to leave him for me. She said she can't because although she loves me she doesn't want to hurt him. I also told her I'll wait for her. And that i dont want our friendship to end and that I'll always be there for her.

I dont know what to do. Im so lost and alone. Our mutual friend honestly didn't know and was shocked. She was rooting for us to be together. I regret not telling her sooner. Im so stupid. I was scared she'd say know.

PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME, I am struggling!

I have been in a connection (not a relationship) with someone since 2 years now. He approached me, we talked everyday, everything was nice, introducing me to hid friends etc, suddenly saying he cant be committed to me (I didnt even ask)

I ended things and we went our separate ways. Figured he was sleeping with another girl (from before) even when he was building things with me. He continued even after we broke up. (she was a fling situation)

We reconnected again and he started everything with more intensity and things were much nicer now, it was good for 2.5 months until I figured he was sleeping with her still. confronted and ended thingsm, he cried ended things with that fling girl (she was kinda upset too even tho they were not in a relationship). Somehow after pursuing me for 3-4 days he said he cant be committed and lets be friends and i ended it there.

He again reconnected got more closer, both emotional and physical intimacy and not exclusivity yet, he ghosts me for a month suddenylu and later says he reconnected with that old girl again and fell in love with her. she didnt like him talking to me so he stopped, he didnt come in a relationship with her too, she broke contact with him, she started dating someone else.

he again came to me 15 days later with sorries and all, kinda initiated intimacy and after a wekk when i asked he still said 'cant get married or committed to you'. i ended things with him after explaining very nicely that i cant be your friend, cant be fwb, cant do casual. he was simping on that girrl through his statuses on burner accounts which he didnt know i knew about. i saw it all silently.

he kept initiating cintact with me here and there but i didnt. he again came back and the same cycyle repeated. for two more times. this time, i saw him approaching new girls and building connection with them while keeping me in loop emotionally (like not building anything with me but keeping me in his circle). he agreed he is seeing other people and seemed excited about it and kinda indifferent about me.

Finally, I again ended things. I dont want to entertain this again, I know my faults, etc. But, just want an opinion about him.

hi everyone. i’ve recently in the last week reached this phase where even though my breakup feels like it’s what is consuming my daily life, the relationship in a way feels distant. i see photos of him now and it feels so seperate from the person i once loved, even though it’s only been a few months and we still talk from time to time. the relationship feels so distant like a soft memory. i look at photos from us of that time and even though they make me sad, it comes from a place of nostalgia i feel like. it’s so weird to still feel like im grieving but to also feel so seperate from the reality that was once mine. does that make sense? just wondering if anyone relates to this at all

Life is such a strange, beautiful, and cruel thing sometimes.

Today, we finally put the last period at the end of our story.

She told me she no longer sees a future for us. She has so much going on in her life, so many problems, so many things she’s struggling with, and she doesn’t want to burden me with any of it. And me? Despite loving her with every fucking piece of my heart, I refuse to pressure her or make her feel like she has to change her mind for my sake.

I love her more than words could ever explain. More than I probably should. And God, if you knew how badly I wanted to fight for us, to hold her close and tell her that we could get through anything together, that she didn’t have to face the world alone... you’d understand.

Because the truth is, I want to. I want to fight for her. I want to tell her that I don’t care how complicated things get, that I’d rather face a thousand storms by her side than stand in the sunshine without her.

But I also understand that love isn’t supposed to be a cage. It’s not supposed to be something you have to beg someone to stay for. And no matter how desperately I want her to choose me, I can’t force her heart to choose a future she no longer believes in.

So I’m letting her go.

Or at least, I’m trying to.

I told her that I’ll always be here if she ever changes her mind, if circumstances change, or if life somehow brings us back to each other. I meant every word. Because some people leave a mark on your soul that time, distance, and even goodbye can’t erase.

And maybe that’s the cruelest part of all. Knowing that you would still choose the same person, even when they’re no longer choosing you.

I’ve let go. Not completely. Not yet. Not today. Maybe not for a long time. There are still pieces of me holding on, still a part of my heart quietly hoping that this isn’t really the end, that somehow, somewhere down the road, life might give us another chance.

But there’s something strangely beautiful about this moment, too.

Amid all the sadness, beneath all the heartbreak, I feel this unexpected sense of peace. A strange kind of freedom. As if, for the first time in a long time, I can finally breathe again. Not because I stopped loving her, but because I’ve stopped trying to control something that was never mine to control.

And that feeling is so fucking bittersweet.

I’m grieving the future I imagined with her. The little things that will never happen. The conversations we’ll never have. The memories we’ll never get to make. All those ordinary, beautiful moments I once thought were waiting for us somewhere in the future.

It hurts to know that a future can die before it ever gets the chance to exist.

It hurts to put an end to something when your heart is still whispering, "but what if?"

And yet, somewhere deep inside, hope refuses to die. Maybe it’s foolish. Maybe it’s just my heart refusing to accept what my mind already understands. Or maybe some part of me will always believe that life has a strange way of bringing people back together when the time is right.

I don’t know.

All I know is that I love her. I still do. And even if our story ends here, I will never regret having loved her the way I did.

Because if loving her means I have to step aside and let her find her own way, then that’s what I’ll do. Even if a part of me wishes she would turn around. Even if I’m secretly hoping she’ll one day realize that she never had to carry everything alone.

For now, I’ll keep walking.

With a broken heart, a thousand unspoken words, and a little bit of hope I’m not quite ready to bury.

And maybe, one day, I’ll look back at all of this and understand why it had to happen this way.

But today?

Today, it just hurts.

And life...

Fuck, life. You really do have a twisted sense of humor.

I (31M) met her (30F) at an airport. I saw her and started talking to her. Turns out, we were actually booked to sit next to each other on the flight. We exchanged numbers and started texting and calling. She lives in Canada, and I travel full-time. But I made a pinky promise to take her on a date. Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

Well, for my birthday, after we’d spent 2 months calling and texting almost every day, with both of us initiating intimate conversations (both emotional and more adult-themed), I flew up to see her. That entire week, we hooked up and went on dates. At the end of the week, we told each other that we loved each other. We both agreed that it felt like fate. It was our love story!

Less than two weeks later, while I was back visiting family, she told me she wanted to end things. This came out of nowhere. After pressing her for a reason, she told me it was because I wasn’t attractive enough. I was attractive enough to hook up with, just not attractive enough to have a long-distance relationship with. Specifically, my body.

I asked her if we’d still be together if I looked different. She said yes.

I regret asking that question every day.

A few days after the breakup, we called. She said she was sorry and wanted to try again. Against my better judgment, I agreed. It did feel like fate. And she explained that she was scared and wanted to push me away. I guess I wanted to believe her. Things picked up right where we left off.

But this time, she seemed more committed. We talked about wanting me to lease a place in her town. She talked about future kids and dream houses. She told me (and I’m quoting her) that I was her “one and only.” That she would do anything to gain my trust back. She called me drunk one night and told me she was in love with me.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she broke things off again.

After going back and forth for a few weeks, I asked if it was about attraction again. She never explicitly said no, so I assumed it was. She would give these vague platitudes about distance — but she wanted to remain friends. I still wonder if the reason she would never say it was about attraction again was because she was trying to protect me or her own self image in her mind?

It doesn’t matter, I suppose. Regardless of what it is, I’m now I’m broken.

I’ve started taking Ozempic. I’ve lost 10 pounds. But I’m just so sad. All I do is count every calorie and try to burn them all off when I work out.

I don’t care if someone’s not attracted to me. That’s fine. I understand that. But to tell me that you were in love with me? To tell me that I was attractive enough to hook up with but not to date? To tell me that we’d still be together if I looked different?
I just don’t know what to do with that.

Obviously, there’s so much I’m leaving out. That’s the nature of these things, I guess.

I still love her. I care about her. I worry about her every day. But I’ve just never felt this way before. I’ve never felt so disposable. I’ve never felt like the world needed less of me. Maybe that’s why I’m trying so hard to lose weight? So there will be.

I know the standard advice: no contact. Hit the gym. Try to move on. I am trying all of that.

But none of that changes how much this hurts.

recent when talking to family about wanting to get back together with her they pointed out that my lack of self esteem and self confidence was probably a factor in her leaving me as much as i hate to admit it they were probably right i have never really had much believe in myself i have always believed if you believed in the other person enough i didn't really matter since ive been out of the country for the past 6ish months i have build skills but believe in my self hasnt come easy. i think i need to find ways to reevaluate my life

So in 6 days it will almost be a month of me and my ex broken up. And we have kept in contact throughout this time period. He blocks me on and off because I think things get too tense for him. But it feels like he takes this breakup so easily and doesn’t or hasn’t bothered him at all. His life keeps on moving forward and mine feels like it’s just stuck. My personal life situation is kind of difficult im 19 (f) but my parents are hispanic and they don’t let me go out or do anything. So I would see him secretly on Tuesdays and he would take off work in order for me to be able to see him. But his grandparents are his “managers” and they would let him take those Tuesdays off and they seemed pretty fine with it. Then in September me and him had a rough time arguing all the time. And on September 27th he broke up with me. When that exact night before, everything appeared to be fine. All he told me was he thinking about everything. I tried asking him about it but he didn’t want to talk about it. He told me he had this conversation with his sister about it and I guess he decided to leave me the very next day. For the first two weeks I pretty much begged for him back. And the best answer I got out of him was he changed our break-up to a “break.” But, the only way me and him could get back together was if I found a way to see him when he isn’t at work. And he has mentioned that to me various times. But I try to text him to talk or something and he is so very dry to me now. I try to ask to call just to talk about our days but nothing. It feels like he doesn’t miss talking to me or my company. And it makes me feel like I was this huge inconvenience to him. I am trying the best with my situation to make things better. I recently got my license and I am on the hunt for a car. But I just miss him so much and my heart aches. And I just don’t understand what could be going through his mind. We dated for almost 2 years. On december 18th would’ve been our anniversary for those two years. And it just breaks my heart to think he doesn’t care, he doesn’t miss me and he doesn’t need me in any way shape or form. And that ever since i’ve been gone im like this weight lifted off his shoulders. Just how can you throw someone away like that? I was his first ever girlfriend and I was his first in so many other things. So, why does he not care or hurt at all? Why can he be cold to me? If anyone has gone through something similar or can explain to me what’s going through his head it would be helpful.

​

I've been close friends with a girl for around 3 years. Recently during our internship we spent most of our time together, cooking together, eating together and hanging out in her room. We used to flirt with each other alot (saying "I love u" to each other jokingly every now and then ), joke around and share a lot of affection but nothing ever officially happened between us. There were moments that genuinely confused me. She told me that I matter a lot to her, got jealous when I used to talk about other girls, hugged me, and sometimes jokingly complained when I called her my friend instead of my girlfriend. I never knew what to make of these moments. Maybe she was just flirting, maybe she was just affectionate, or maybe I interpreted things differently because I had developed feelings for her. I genuinely don't know.

Recently, I've started feeling jealous whenever she gives attention to another guy in our university. He's been her friend for about a year and I never used to feel this way. But over the past month (after we came back from our internship) something changed and I realised how emotionally invested I've become.

Few days ago we had freshers party in our Uni. I couldn't attend the function cuz of some reason. In evening she sent me pictures of herself from that function and damn she was looking so beautiful. I wanted to call her that night asking Abt how everything went but my roommate told me he had seen her holding hands with that particular guy. I don't know whether they're actually together but hearing that made my heart sink , it felt like my heart was crushed altogether and I couldn't make myself call her after that.

Now I'm questioning everything. Is she just using me for attention? Maybe she doesn't love me the way I do? I don't know if I can continue being close to her without hurting myself.

I can't become cold or let her know how I feel cuz then she will bombard me with questions, she might even get upset. We have a friend circle of only 3 ppl and things will get awkward which I don't want obviously.

We still talk but I have withdrawn myself a bit when she flirts jokingly I just laugh it off and change the subject.

I don't know wht to do or wht's the ryt call atp. I just wanna stop feeling this way and focus on my career. Is there any way that can make me come out of this cuz this is getting out of hands and it really hurts me to see them both together after that particular incident.

Also is there any way to avoid this frm happening ever again in the future?

Plz help...

TL;DR: I've developed feelings for a close female friend of three years. We flirt say "I love you" to each other and share a lot of affection but we've never been in a relationship. Recently, I started feeling jealous of another guy she's friends with and my roommate told me he saw them holding hands. I don't know if they're together but it hurt me badly. I don't want to lose her friendship or make things awkward in our friend group but staying close is hurting me.

Wht should I do ? how do I move on? and avoid getting so attached in the future?