I (25M) came out to my partner (F26) today as bisexual in my 4 year relationship. It did not always have a happy ending.

Part of me knows that I can't hide the truth anymore, especially with my gf, whom I truly love. We have been together for 4 years and it was the greatest time of my life. She's beautiful, genuine and kind. I guess she knows that I am not like a regular boyfriend but more kinda fruity. But couple of months ago she found some pics of nude men in my phone, and was questioning my sexuality. Thought it's time to let her know, so I came out.

She had some time to think about how our relationship is going to be, but she found it very hard for her to continue dating me because of the flashback of the nude pics in my phone whenever we being intimate. We found it difficult to hug and cuddle each other, let alone having sex. And I don't blame her as it was not the best way for her to find out that I'm bi. We had a few chats but it did not go very well as we don't see ourselves in the future picture. She wants to continue to live as roommates but does not engage in a romantic relationship, until our lease ends.

The hardest thing is we're still on a lease for another six months. It's hard to break the contract and find another apartment and move out while I'm still looking a change in the workplace. But I also understand that I need to accept myself and embrace my sexuality rather than trying to make it to work. I still love her and I think she still does so that's why it's just hard for us to break up, unless she accepted me but I don't blame her if she wants to move on. It's just difficult living like a platonic friends since we've already in a serious relationship and still have feelings for each other.

Whenever I go down a rabbit hole looking up stuff on queer/lgbtq+ experiences, health, etc I always seeing the same starts coming up. Bi people tend to have it worse than our gay and lesbian counterparts. More anxiety, more depression, worse mental health overall, and higher rates of intimate partner violence and sexual assault. I haven't really seen the comparisons that include trans people, so I'm leaving that out cause I don’t know but for bi vs gay/lesbian the pattern seems to be pretty consistent.

I'm bi and I've lived it. I've dealt with violence and abuse from an intimate partner, and I've had/have depression and anxiety. So part of me reads those stats and thinks, ok yes that tracks. But somehow I still assumed gays and lesbians would be the ones struggling more. But then I’m like i actually don't know why I assume that. Visibility maybe?

I wonder if part of it is that most bi people are in opposite sex relationships, so we're often assumed to be straight, or we're not out, and that creates its own kind of stress cause people are closeted more?

Im a woman and I’ve been married to a woman for over a decade, and people tend to assume I'm a lesbian, but I'm actually bi/pan/queer. It's mostly my gay/lesbian friends who voice that assumption out loud. Everyone else doesn't really ask but I’m sure they assume too. I don't care much what people think anymore, but I guess that wasn’t always the case

But I'm really curious as to why you think it's worse for us? Is it the invisibility of like not fitting in with straight or gay spaces, and like people not taking bisexuality seriously, or is it something else?

I am in college and simply can’t come out. I have no way of knowing how my family will take it, but I don’t expect it to be taken positively. My parents help me with college funding and more. Coming out would just throw all of that away. I’m still learning to accept myself as a bisexual dude, but it’s pretty hard. I tell myself that I don’t care what others think about me dating another man, but deep down, I do care about being judged. Anyway, that’s I refuse to
come out until I’m financially stable and independent.

The problem is that there’s just so many attractive people that I want to get closer to. I probably don’t have a chance, but I don’t know I still like them. I just think dating another guy while closeted would be mean to them. I’ve heard how many closeted men can be devils at times, and it’s why many openly queer people tend to avoid them.

I mean we would be able to do couple things, it’s just that I’ll have to be sort of careful. My cousin goes to the same college, and I have no doubts he’ll tell my parents. Plus they all use social media (like tiktok) so posting on there would also be pretty risky. Any other social media platform is fine. These things just feel way too controlling.

There’s also a girl I like and she happens to be trans. I truly don’t care, but I know my family will. I feel like if we ever happens to date, telling her she can’t meet my family because of her trans identity is so fucked up.

I don’t know. I just want to be in a relationship but don’t want to hurt someone while doing it. I’m also not interested in hookups.

I’m 30F happily married to my husband and partner of 10 years. I have recently been feeling like I haven’t been entirely true to who I am as a human, and have considered coming out at bisexual.

I have always been physically and sexually attracted to women, had several mild experiences in my teens, and have always been honest about wanting a sexual experience with a woman.

My question is if it is even worth identifying as such if it does not change anything in my marriage and life. Any sexual experience with a woman would only come with his involvement or consent. I don’t want to make him feel insecure, because I love him entirely and still see him as a my soulmate, but I also feel like I’m not being entirely true to myself without identifying?

Any advice?

Hi all,

My wife is bisexual and we've had several FFM threesomes during the last few years. She has told me that she would love watching me being together with another man, as she finds it very hot and would love to have a threesome where all parties are in it together and that she is not fully the center of attention.

I've always perceived myself as a heterosexual. I have literally never fantasized of being together with another man previously. However, there is something in me that is very turned on by the idea of having a bi-sexual threesome with my wife. I don't know what it is, but there is something with this setting that really lights a fire in me. This is very new to me. I'm 30 years old and only within the last 6 months I have had these thoughts.

My wife is very settled in her sexuality, so I know I could have a honest conversation with her without her judging me.. I really want to explore this side of myself..

However, I really want to explore this in the right way and taking care of myself. I can watch bisexual porn, and that is OK, but I want to explore this IRL..

Do you have any advice for someone in my position? If you have been through it yourself, what would you do different or what was working for you?

It is kinda scary being this old, and yet this confused about my sexuality. I've always thought I was hetero.

I’m 25F and I’ve been identifying as bisexual since last year. I’m talking to a woman who’s a lesbian, and I’m starting to feel a little insecure about my lack of experience with women, especially when it comes to relationships.
I’ve had a few experiences with women at parties but only casual, but I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a woman before. Part of me worries that I don’t have enough experience to pursue something serious with her, or that she might feel like she has to hold my hand through everything.
I don’t want her to feel like she has to babysit me on how to navigate dating women. I want to be able to show up as an equal partner, even if this is new territory for me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, how can I approach this without letting my inexperience get in the wayp?

I randomly thought back about a moment few years ago where I looked in the mirror and said "dayum I got a fat ass if only I was gay" and that made me laugh so hard rn whahahahah.

Do yall have any moments, where before figuring out your sexuality you thought life would be better if u where gay?

Hi everyone, I’m (f20) looking for some advice and perspective on my sexuality. I feel both physically and romantically attracted to men and women, but most of the time my attraction is purely romantic. The way I experience this attraction is also very different depending on the gender.

I find all women beautiful, but unless I’ve built a strong emotional connection with a woman first, I just don't feel interested - pretty much on the demisexual spectrum, to put it simply. With men, it's a completely different story. Even without an emotional bond, I can easily see myself having a crush on someone.

I’ve had an equal amount of experiences with both men and women, and I’ve genuinely enjoyed all of them equally. Still, I often feel guilty about this whole situation, almost like deep down I might just be forcing myself to like women, or that maybe I'm just bi-curious.

Is it normal to have a demisexual pattern with one gender and a more immediate attraction to another? Has anyone else felt this way?

Thanks in advance for reading!

So some little backstory, I am a gay male, and I’ve been since I was little I used it like women when I was little but haven’t really liked any since yesterday this lady came into my work and she had this really nice accent and this really nice coat and idk I got the same feeling I would get seeing a hot guy, and idk what to do with this information I thought about having like straight sex or whatever you wanna call it and I don’t know if I can actually have it but seeing that lady kinda maybe me question my sexual orientation

Right so Im 19 and Im a guy and as far as I can remember I’ve only really ever liked guys only ever been with guys but recently I’ve started to every so often doubt that and had things that have made me think maybe Im attracted to women but I also can’t tell if I’m just acknowledging certain women are attractive and am not attracted to them myself. So basically Im just looking for advice on how to explore or best work this out ig or even just someone to talk about it to but either way any help is appreciated

the first girl i fell for and the same girl who made me realize i like girls just soft launched her boyfriend.

it has been years since we saw each other but i have always held a spot for her in my heart. i didn’t expect for us to come back into each-other lives but it still broke my heart to see her with another person, a man.

we were those girls who had a homoerotic friendship and were bestfriends for years.

not sure how to move on.

I’m a 42 year old guy, and over the past few years, I’ve gradually come to the realization that I’m not as straight as I’d originally thought. In my 20s and 30s, I dated women and didn’t really think about men beyond a passing thought here or there. In my late thirties, something definitely shifted. I started noticing guys out in the wild and there was an undeniable attraction. I tried to suppress it, but my curiosity has only grown in its intensity. Now I’m at the point where I think I need to just embrace it.

I’d love to hear from guys who’ve experienced an evolving sexual identity in middle age. How did you feel about it? What did you end up doing about it? How did it impact your existing relationships? Did you end up coming out? Did you end up identifying as gay or bi in the end? How did you go about exploring it?

I (34F) feel sort of insane even thinking this, because there are many straight women in my life whom I love and respect, and I know they enjoy their relationships and their lives with men.

It’s not like that for me, though…

I will never forget the first time I saw the movie The Kids Are All Right because I had this visceral feeling that for the first time in my life I was seeing a family that I could imagine myself having as an adult. I can’t explain exactly why that is, because I’m relatively femme and I’m not a top and I don’t hate men and I am 100% sure I’m also sexually attracted to men. I just couldn’t ever see myself as some man’s wife. But I also I don’t think I’m bisexual and homoromantic. Before I dated women I had genuine romantic feelings for men, I had just decided I would never get married or have kids because the idea of it repulsed me until I allowed myself to imagine it with a woman.

The obvious answer is to just not date men, right?

The problem is that I am genuinely interested in a man for the first time in a long time. It started out as a sexual detour in between relationships with women but now I feel like it could become something more.

Yet now I have this fear, like a genuine mortal terror, that I will fall for him and I’ll never have the future I always envisioned for myself with a woman. It makes me feel like the woman from Good Luck Babe - I’ll wake up next to him in the middle of the night, head in my hands, nothing more than his wife. It makes me want to cry. It makes me feel like I’d lose myself completely.

Can anyone else relate to this? Do I have some kind of internalized heterophobia or something?

im starting to to think i might be a lesbian. i kind of only seek men out when im looking for quick external validation so i can feel reassured that im desired. which i know isn't healthy and im beginning to realise i don't usually have an interest in these men im just looking for validation. and with men it feels so low stakes and shallow like i know nothing will ever come of it so it just feels like an easy option? but with women it feels insanely high stakes and scary honestly but it feels like a deeper and more respectful connection that i actually want to seek out. i feel like i have no interest in men past the sexual which is barely even there.

but the good thing about men in my experience is they will be so nice in hopes of sleeping with you and they're forward with their desire which feels good but at the end of the day is surface level. and the thing with women is they're a lot less straight forward and it feels like one mistake leads to ghosting which does suck. to me, men are low risk low reward and women are high risk high reward. and so when the high risk isn't leading to high reward ill take a few low rewards in hopes of filling the void but it doesn't.

so basically when im feeling low about being ghosted by women i seek validation from men which yes isn't a good thing to do. i think ill have to set my apps to women only and just see how that goes. sorry this came off more venty than i intended lol

I have been trying to get in a relationship for about 3 years as of now with no success. I’ve only grown more and more avoidant due to the circumstances and I’m now looking into getting help from a therapist when I can afford it.

I never asked to be this way. I’ve wanted nothing but to belong to someone that cares about me and for me to support their needs. People who continue to talk to me tell me that I’m doing nothing wrong but will go on for days not texting me or checking up on me unless I make the first step every time. I’m tired of living like this. No one cares whether or not I disappear from their lives or what I’m doing with my time. I take up my time and hang out with these people and enjoy hanging out with them, but then there’s nothing else for me to do the moment I leave. All I have is the gym and my two jobs that fill out my schedule (60/hrs a week) and I’ve grown to understand that people in general don’t really care about me.

I try to stick my head out and let people know that I have interests in any kind of relationship and I keep getting rejected constantly. All I know is that anything else that I do would just be a waste of time at this point.

I’ve asked out 6 guys and they all said no with no explanation or just completely cut me off with no explanation.

I don’t even bother asking women out anymore because most of the women in my life have made it clear that I’m a loser and lack any kind of respect (which isn’t even true).

People have gone out of their way to make me feel bad for my appearance and then will question why I don’t put effort into even leaving the house anymore. What’s the point? Any exertion from me is always put into question and HAS to offend someone. I’m so fucking done

I’m tired of being alone and living like this. Without porn, my binge eating, and any kind of relationship to fall back into, what’s the point of anything?

i’m so embarrassed man.
18M. i’ve been feeling pretty bad about myself lately and while on the topic of attraction i asked a friend if she ever thought i seemed gay. she just said “um..” a couple times and changed the topic. i got the hint.

i had a crush on a dude a little over a year ago for the first and last time. that attraction towards dudes ebbs and flows but never overpowers my attraction to women. i was straight up until i met that dude and im still 80% straight.

i don’t know if i act gay. i was put into figure skating at a young age so getting called gay isn’t new to me. i’m also a pretty quiet person, i draw a lot, i like cozy games more than the ones my friends play. i never really cared for those comments until now because i always had that security that i was straight. i had a girlfriend and crushes to prove that. i guess im less secure in knowing im not straight and i feel like shit about myself.

this is such a stupid thing to be upset over. it can’t be that i’m worried about not being able to pull girls because i didn’t care about that before. i guess it’s just the lack of respect that comes with that assumption. it’s just hard to reject the assumption when it’s true.

i guess it’s just with her. i’ve been friends with her for years and let my personality be more expressive when im with her because it’s what makes her laugh. i just don’t bite how id know if that’s what everyone else things thinks too

dude i feel so lost. i don’t know who i want to be or how i want to be seen. i’ve never straight up been told i act gay before today. i don’t know why it’s fucking with me so much or how to differentiate stigma vs myself

There’s something that’s weighed on my mind for quite a while. I’ve been avoiding the situation because the whole thing makes me uncomfortable but I really want to hear people’s thoughts.

So me (22F) and this girl (22F), we are in a relationship. Our history is complex. We became friends when we were 12, she came out to be as bi to me when we were 14. I was straight. She knew she was bi from when we were 12 and she had this crush on another girl. Anyways, flash forward we’re in 11th grade and we’re 16. I used to have these crushes on guys, and we were friends still at this point, and she would get really possessive about me and hate the guys, I never understood why. She already started developing feelings for me. I was super boy crazy and always have been up till this point. But in the middle of 11th grade, Covid hit. When Covid hit, we got super close, and we would talk every single day. Before this point in my life I was really close with my sister and used to consider her my best friend (we used to talk about everything mostly boys and she knew everything about me). But as Covid was going on, I started drifting from my sister and started getting close to this girl. I was having a lot of family issues at the time, and I opened up to her about my family, and we just got super close (texting for 10 hours a day everyday during those 6 months of quarantine). She cared for me, she would talk really sweet to me, and we would call each other baby. So we called it a friendship but really it started to feel like a relationship. During Covid I started talking to this guy and told her about it, and she got really mad at me. She stopped being as sweet and kept saying I would hurt her. I kind of understood that basically if I talked to a guy, I’m gonna lose my best friend (how I thought of her even though it was kinda relationshipy) who I care about more than anyone. I became addicted to her love and care, it was something I never experienced. So at some point in grade 12, I realized that if I am interested in a man, I would lose her. And I really did not want that. She was my safety net, and felt like my person. I also noticed myself feeling jealous if she would talk about a girl so I knew this was not platonic on my side.

Anyways, then we went to university. I figured at this point that I was not straight. And I kind of resented her for it. I had such a clear vision of what I wanted in my life before her. I wanted a husband, someone super masculine, someone who would take care of me. I craved that so bad. But now I feel like she came in, and everything is different. I felt like I still wanted a man and didn’t wanna let go of this part of me, but I also didn’t wanna lose her and her love for me. This thing between us seeped into other aspects of my life, I could no longer be close with my sister cause she only wanted to hear about guys. I could no longer have guy talk with my girlfriends, I had to keep this thing I had going on a secret. So no one knew me. I felt like her being a girl, made my life so complicated. I would feel jealous that she had female friends and would always think, if she were a guy I wouldn’t have this problem cause I could just tell a guy not to have female friends, but with her I’d just have to accept it.

Anyways, it felt like we were in a relationship without the title of one but with all the expectations of one. I wasn’t ready to accept my identity and she knew that. I wanted to be straight, and I felt like I couldn’t be. I had to shut down what I felt for guys in order to keep her. It was just toxic. I was depressed for a lot of uni. I just wanted to feel normal and I couldn’t. During university, while her and I were in this situationship, I became friends with this guy who liked me and I didn’t like him back ( he kind of used to send me wierd texts) and the girl never liked him although she didn’t know about what the texts were but was always suspicious. And there was another guy in uni, which I thought was cute and I didn’t tell her about him. I got advice from a therapist to not tell her about guys so I’d do that. I would text my sister about this cute guy, and tell my girlfriends cause I so badly wanted to connect with them.

Anyways at some point, my relationship with this girl got better, we travelled together and I realized I can be free and accept myself. So we actually started to get really good. Prior to all this time, I never saw us as a relationship but after our travels I did see us as a relationship and I told her that. She was aware of this. We were in a relationship for a year and I truly loved her and accepted myself. Flash forward to the fall of last year (it had been a year of us being good (no guys for me or anything and I knew I loved her). She went through my phone, and found my texts with the guy and also went through all my texts with friends and sister over my uni years and looked for every mention of a guy. She also went through my personal notes in which I’m contemplating feelings for her. She got so pissed off at me. She told me I cheated on her and I betrayed her. She used what I wrote in my notes against me. She shamed me. I felt so horrible because I did hide these things from her but I never felt like I could be honest with her. But it’s my fault I know I hurt her and I felt so guilty.

But after finding everything out, she hit me. She pulled my hair, broke the necklace off my neck. She verbally abused me, she insulted me. I had scratch marks on my chest. She even spit on me.

I was in such a bad state, I was in so much guilt for what I had done (even though we were not in a relationship at that time), that I was never able to focus on how she reacted to me. I lived in so much guilt, that I completely ignored her behaviour towards me. I tried explaining to her that she was hurt but she was looking at these texts from the lens of what the relationship was in the present, and not of the past when the texts occurred. But Anywyas, I was so desperate to have her back, I didn’t care about what she did.

To this day I still feel so much guilt, and it has been a year since this incident, and we’re together. Now it’s labeled frfr. But I sometimes think, am I not respecting myself by being in this? The affects of this incident, are still lasting today. I am completely traumatized from that. To this day, I don’t write in my notes anymore because I’m scared she’s gonna go through it and read my thoughts. I feel constantly anxious and on edge. How can I feel that she loves me the most and cares for me the most in this world, when I also feel the most uneasy with her?

I come from an abusive household, and I think in some way I might have felt like I deserved to be hit, for what I did. Because that’s what I’m used to from childhood in my home. But I want people’s thoughts, on if what I did was wrong, I know what I did was wrong, but what are the thoughts on this reaction of hers?

I feel like I can’t live without her, and I don’t know, I ignore what she did because it makes me so uncomfortable but should I be thinking about this whole thing deeper? She now is constantly asking for my phone password because she doesn’t trust me, but I have literal trauma from the last time she went through my phone and I don’t really want to give up my autonomy. Please give advice, thoughts, anything.

Whe I have sex with a guy , maybe because I crossdress and am bottom , my wanted guy is always mature , hairy tummy and chest , with a bit of belly and thick thighs with a medium penis , not a madonis stud , does anyone else have a lust for that tupe of guy , in my case they usually are married but straying

I am a male trying to get into fitness and stuff and I feel like I will be more motivated if I have a physique to aspire towards. Obviously different people are attracted to all kind of body types but what do you think is the "ideal" for attracting all genders?

i am a teenage girl with a boyfriend that has recently realized that i like girls too more specifically i have developed a huge crush on a friend from school who also has a boyfriend.. i feel like rlly weird and idk what to do with myself because i cannot get her out of my head and even in my dreams. if anyone has some advice or perspective that could be helpful i would greatly appreciate it. i feel like this is such a cliche.

To be clear, I've been with guys before and it felt natural to me and I enjoyed it. My first long term relationship was with a guy when we were 16 and the sex was great and just felt right to me.

I'm now 19, in a relationship with a woman, and I love her but it doesn't feel the same as it did with my boyfriend, sex is awkward and we just laugh the whole time and it doesn't feel natural. I love her but it's not the same.

I always thought I was bisexual but I've been wondering if I'm actually gay. I don't want to hurt her but I do want to explore that and I don't know how to handle that. I really don't jive with hookup culture in general so it's hard to figure out on it's own.

i’m a bisexual woman (21F) and am dating a lesbian (20F). i love her and love being with her, but i also miss having some relationship experiences with men. i have dated both men and women seriously and am attracted to both. but i cant help but yearn for a male partner when im with a woman and vice versa. what should i do🥲😭🙏

I (32M) currently dating a woman (26F) who is curious about being with other woman for the longest time. She was in several heterosexual relationships in Turkey (she comes from a Muslim family) and was not able to explore that part of her sexuality. Now she moved to Europe and she feels less oppressed to connect with other woman.

So, months before meeting me, she tried different Apps to find some lesbian or bi woman to explore and understand her curiosity, but so far only had superficial dates (no sex). Then we connected and after a month dating she said she is emotionally attracted to me (hetero male) but that she does not want to progress further into a proper relationship (with full exclusivity) or to progress into having sex with me. She says she is scared to get even more attached to me and to began a relationship without experiencing women to women sex (since she does not want to regret never trying same gender sex as she did in her previous relationship). She also highlights that she is pissed she met me at this time of her life, because she really likes me but she is still confused about her sexuality.

I come from a very kinky hetero relationship in which I leaned a lot and opened my mind via going to kink clubs. For me it's very important that she feels herself and that there is no boundaries/blocks to proceed into the possible relationship we can have. Consent is my motto and I want her to feel sure about what step to make. I'm okay for her to try things, because I wouldnt like her to be exclusive to me without being sure if she likes women as well or not (imagine if she realizes she really likes women, I prefer for her to know that before we delve deeper intro our relationship so we can part ways if that case occurs).

She has told me several times that this worries her and that no matter what happens to us she wants me in her life (which I read as a strong foreshadowing that we are not gonna end together).

I think she actually could be a closeted lesbian, but she is looking after me and she has reassured me with words that she really likes me and want to spend time with me. I decided myself to not have sex or date anyone else since I really like this woman.

I want to know how to help her or to support her even more so she can explored that part of her sexuality (and then, how to support her in the relationship knowing that she is bi). I think we could have a threesome with other woman if she feel like it and we already had inmimacy. I told her that is an option although won't be the same as having only 1to1 sex her with another woman. So, what should I do? Just wait till she explores that part of her sexuality? Or should be stop dating and meet other people?

Also, first post, so sorry if there is some tag or something not correct. And thank you!