Thought I would share my story as some may find it useful and interesting.

It has been a very long journey to get to where we are today and I think that is the reason for my success if that’s the correct word to use.

My wife and I have been together since 2009 and married since 2013. I had always had a curiosity about other men when I was younger and found myself often watching bi or gay porn. But it was never something I acted on as I was really unsure what that feeling was or I was scared of being labeled by others.

My wife understood early on that men could get pleasure from prostate simulation and would sometimes use a finger or two on me during sex. This kind of increased my curiosity about men and gay sex over time.

Fast forward to 2015 we were comfortable in our marriage and sex life and I had even asked my wife to try pegging me. At first she found it awkward and didn’t get much out of it. But after a few times she really came to enjoy it and the power she had over me. While we don’t do it often she is now the one to request it when we do.

So in 2015 my curiosity about men had been building and building to the point I decided I need to be open to my wife about how I had been feeling. I told her I was Bi curious and had been for sometime and that it’s something I would really like to explore if she was open to it. I told her I would never cheat on her and it’s something I want to do together. She was pretty shocked at first and her biggest fear was I would enjoy being with a man more and want to leave her.

I explained my curiosity was purely sexual and physical, not romantic. Like many men I had a higher sex drive than my wife. I had no desire to be romantic or fall in love with a man I just wanted to explore physically.

It took a long time but she came to understand my feelings and even confessed she might have similar feelings about women. Over the next few years I talked a lot about fantasies and suggested ideas about us meeting and playing with others. But it was always shut down as she still had her fears and lack of self confidence. Also at the same time we began having children and building our family. On a funny note my wife said I should have told her when we were younger and just met and she would have been more open to exploring that. But I was too unsure and nervous earlier on.

Fast forward to 2022 and we were travelling in a city that had several gay saunas and I mentioned to my wife that it would be fun to experience one of them. Her response was oh sure you can do that. I was in complete shock and said do you know what happens at them. She said yeah guys fuck, you can go just be safe and use protection. She said you have needs and fantasies that she can’t fulfill being a woman so she was happy for me to try it.

I was nervous as hell but went to the venue and it was on a night that allowed trans women which made it more exciting. I played with a few men and a trans woman while I was there and as soon as I left my wife wanted to know all the details. She was so turned on by it and we had the most amazing reclaim sex after. Since then I have visited saunas a couple of times a year and my wife has always wanted details after. I also enjoy going to nudist beaches and have discreetly played with men there sometimes.

Then in 2023 we had our first experience with another couple. I had been asking her to go to a swingers club or party for a long time but she was nervous about the pressure to play at something like that so we settled with meeting with another couple privately. So we met for drinks then a night back at our hotel room. Unfortunately the other male was only orally bi but we had an amazing time of many firsts.

We are now at the point where my wife fully accepts I’m bi and wants to see me get fucked by a guy. We have introduced more toys and talk more openly about fantasies. It’s has been a very long and patient journey. But being open and talking has made our relationship so much stronger.

I welcome any questions or comments.

Thanks

Many of us here have come out to our spouses. Some have requested and received permission from their spouse to explore or experiment with same-sex encounters. But what if your spouse wanted to do some exploring of their own as part of the deal?

I'm sure none of us would even remotely object to our spouses exploring their bisexuality as well. To do so would be hypocritical and unfair. But what if your spouse indicated that they were interested in hetero sex with others, in response to you wanting to have bi experiences? Does this change anything?

I ask because my wife and I have talked recently about the subject in-depth. She reiterated that she would be fine with me experimenting with guys. I asked her if she would also be interested in experimenting with women? Although she does occasionally expresses interest in women on a fantasy basis, she told me that she has no real intention to pursue it in real life. However, she did mention a mild curiosity in having sex with other men, if we decided to open things to that extent.

Part of me believes that it's only fair to let her explore in whichever way she wants, since she is willing to give me that same freedom. But is it genuinely the same? I feel like opposite sex encounters would have the potential to carry more emotional weight or produce feelings of jealousy. I would never be jealous of my wife hooking up with a woman, because I'm not a woman and I can't provide that experience for her...so why should I ever feel jealous? But if she were to hook up with a man, I feel like having to deal with some jealousy might be unavoidable. Not saying that I would try to say no, but I just want to be prepared emotionally should things go that route.

I'm just curious what other's thoughts are on this very nuanced topic.

I (30f) came out as bi to my husband (30m) last year and he's been very supportive, but wasn't comfortable with me exploring with other women. I was completely fine with that, and we've carried on with our lives. Recently though, he said he would be okay with me finding a FWB if I wanted to, so I downloaded some apps (Feeld, Her, Bumble). I wanted to be upfront on my profiles that I'm married and newly out, and not looking for anything serious. I got some matches and messaged a couple people, but I never got any replies. Am I going about it wrong? For the most part, I saw that most women want LTR so I wouldn't swipe right on them, but it really limits who I can actually match with. Are there any better ways of meeting people besides "in the wild" that would be open to being casual? If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

UPDATE: I talked to him when everyone was in bed but us, alone in our own bed. In typical fashion it seems he was like “babe, this isn’t surprising” 😂 that alone was actually the only embarrassing part. My husband is older than me and had more single years before marriage and he said over and over “I just want you to be happy”, and “we’ve been together since you were really young and life is not linear sometimes”. We told each other we loved each other like ten times. And this is the part I’m posting the update for, to encourage others to just TALK to their partners before doing anything. He said more than once he appreciated that I considered his feelings and cared about our marriage enough to have what he acknowledged was a very vulnerable moment for me. And I feel like 1000lbs got lifted off my chest.

Here’s the deal. I’m very much out to my husband for years, we have been together for 13 and married 10. We briefly broke up due to distance/jobs before marriage and during that time I had sex a couple of times with the same woman. We have what I think would be considered a great relationship, great sex, and really good chemistry. We parent our kids together really effectively and don’t argue about shared decisions often or even at length when we do.

I have zero interest in having deep emotional relationships with other women but a casual FWB sounds great to scratch the itch. My husband has kind of lovingly shoved me to explore having hookups with friends when I’ve been away with them, but tbh I don’t want to fuck my childhood friends! Even the gay ones. I want to be with a complete stranger with no ties to my everyday life and not have a whole relationship.

I have every confidence that my husband would be fine with it if I had a friend who I casually hooked up with from time to time (and it would be very occasional, I’m extremely busy) but frankly I know he doesn’t want one himself, and I feel embarrassed asking for myself? I don’t want to present it as an ultimatum either, but I fear he may take as one no matter what.

Anyways thanks for reading if you made it this far. Seems to be a common theme here but most posts I’m seeing people have not yet come out as bi. I’m stuck in a weird limbo with my husband who I really love.

My wife and I have been together since high school. We’re each other’s only sexual partners, have a great sex life, no complaints whatsoever. My wife has always reacted very strongly to fantasies of being with a woman. She likes to dirty talk about it during foreplay and when having sex, she also strictly watches lesbian porn. I’ve asked her before if she has any desire to be with a woman and she’s very non-committal. In my opinion due to her religious upbringing she wants to suppress these desires. I guess I’m just wondering how I can best support her and allow her to fully explore anything that she may want to do. Any help is appreciated!

I could really use some advice or perspective, especially from women who have experienced something similar.
My best friend and I are both women, both married to men, and have been extremely close for about a year and a half. I’m not looking for opinions on our marriages as we have unique relationships, just advice about our friendship and the feelings involved.
She’s bisexual and has experience with women, while I have absolutely none. I’ve questioned my own sexuality before, but I’m not concerned with labeling myself right now. What I do know is that I’m attracted to her.
She’s naturally flirty, and we flirt and joke around a lot. Sometimes she takes it further, and I honestly love it. I find myself thinking about what it would be like to be physical with her, especially when we’ve been drinking, although those feelings are there when I’m sober too.
We’ve actually discussed the possibility of something happening. She’s told me she’d be open to it, but would want us both to be sober because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s taking advantage of my curiosity or inexperience, which I completely respect.
She also asked whether I’m genuinely attracted to her or just curious about experimenting with a woman and comfortable enough with her to try it. I told her I’m genuinely attracted to her, because I am. But now I’m overthinking the fact that I never asked if she’s actually attracted to me. I wonder if she wants me in that way or is simply willing to give me the experience.
My biggest dilemma is that I love our friendship and absolutely don’t want to ruin it. Part of me thinks she’d be the perfect person to explore this with because I trust her so much, but another part wonders if that’s exactly why it’s risky.
I’m also nervous about having zero experience with women. What if something actually happens and I freeze up, feel awkward, or realize I’m not as comfortable as I thought?
I guess I’m torn between being genuinely attracted to her, wanting to explore that attraction, and being terrified of changing a friendship that means so much to me.
Has anyone explored a sexual attraction with a close friend? Did it change your friendship? Was it worth it? I’d especially love to hear from women whose first experience with another woman was with someone they were already close to.
I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me what to do, just genuine advice and experiences without judgment.

43 M, been with my wife over 15 years. Have previously considered myself to be "straight" and have only had sexual experiences with women my whole life. However, there was always this sort of smoldering bi-curiosity present. But I usually either suppressed it, or would indulge in porn featuring trans women or crossdressers. Or on more rare occasions, gay porn featuring two men. But I would always feel guilty and conflicted afterwards.

My wife and I have always been very sexually open, and I confided in her years ago about my curiosity, and the fact that dick turns me on. Surprisingly, she took the news pretty well. She actually encouraged me to accept and get comfortable with the feelings. She went as far as encouraging me to accept being attracted to men fully, instead of trying to rationalize or explain it as "just being turned on by dick", which was usually my mindset.

I realize now that I have been suppressing it to a degree. Maybe it's a midlife crisis talking, but i'm at the age where I am worried about missing out on things in life due to fear or apprehension. I started to give myself permission to be turned on by MEN and not just dicks. And it feels good.

I am having very strong fantasies about performing oral on a guy. My issues are:

- I'm not sure the best (and safest) way to go about doing this. Does most people use the apps (Grindr, Sniffies, etc.) for this sort of thing? I feel like it might be perceived as weird just posting that I want to suck dick with no reciprocation or anything else? Do you think there are Bi/Gay guys out there that would find an offer of a (formerly) straight, inexperienced guy sucking them off for the first time to be endearing and/or arousing?

- Obviously I would need my wife's blessing for this. Like I mentioned, she has been supportive so far, but that was when this whole thing was within the realm of fantasy, and not IRL. I feel like telling her that I actually want to go through with it is a whole other ball game, and i'm pretty nervous to talk about it. She has expressed interest in women before so i'm wondering if I can encourage that as well...to see if bisexuality is something we can maybe explore together?

If anyone has any advice, thoughts, or tips, they are appreciated!

I'm male, 45, married to my highschool sweetheart after finding each other years later. I have been attracted to woman (romantically, emotionally and physically) and men (only physically) since I was about 12. Never done anything with a guy. I came out to my wife a few days ago and it went surprisingly well. To start I felt like I was going to be sick and shaking. It took me a bit to tell her, but got it out in the end. There was fear of rejection from her and loosing my marriage, my best mate/solemate. She is supporting me, we are closer now from it, the sex has really stepped up between us. But she has concerns, I have had years to think or deal with this, she has only had a few days. I don't want to cheat on my wife, I do want to explore a guys body, but not right now. She is concerned I may find I could have feelings for a guy and leave, I can't see that happening. I'm not going to rush things or put our marriage in jeopardy. But how does it work when you are married?

been married for 15 years. always been in a rural community. my wife is fully supportive of me and exploring my sexuality but living in a more rural area of the US, it seems hard to find other people to explore with that aren’t creeps. grindr and other apps just seem to bring out the creep in people. I am very much involved in my local community (vol fire dept) so a lot of old heads and narrow minded individuals. my wife is also bi and is in the same boat, but guys still find ways into her DMs on women only sites. is there a better app or way anyome has found to meet others in the same boat

Hi everyone! I'm 44M, married to my wife for 19 years, and lately my same-sex attraction and curiosity have been increasing like crazy.

A little backstory: I experimented with a friend more than 25 years ago, but at the time I repressed that part of myself out of shame. Over the years, those feelings slowly started coming back. About 15 years ago, I talked to my wife about my past. She was accepting, although I think she was understandably caught off guard. At the time, I didn't give much thought to what it might mean for me going forward.

Working with my therapist eventually helped me explore my dormant bisexuality and what it meant to me. A few years ago, I came out to my wife as probably bisexual. I knew my past was part of the picture, but I wasn't sure what that meant for me in the present or going forward. My curiosity was still pretty low, and I wasn't sure what, if anything, I wanted to do with it. I also shared this part of myself with a handful of close friends and family, and it felt really good to be more authentic with them.

Fast-forward to now, and my curiosity has grown considerably. It's something I genuinely want to explore, but navigating that while married has been difficult. My wife and I have previously discussed an open marriage/ENM, partly in the context of our differences in sexual interest, but she's not comfortable with opening our marriage. She's said she doesn't want to stand in the way of me exploring, but we haven't really clarified what that means or what it might look like within the boundaries of our marriage. Based on our previous conversations, I'm not sure that kind of exploration will be possible.

I'm also figuring out what being more open about my sexuality looks like. I recently joined a local queer Facebook group that overlaps with some people I know. That felt like another small, somewhat indirect step toward being more open about who I am.

I love my wife and the life/family we've buikt. Our sex life has its challenges, but I'm not looking to blow up nearly 20 years together. At the same time, I don't want to keep ignoring this part of myself.

I feel stuck between wanting to explore my sexuality and not knowing what that realistically looks like for me. I'm proud of who I am, but I also deal with a lot of imposter syndrome. Part of me wonders whether I'm bi enough, especially since I haven't acted on these feelings in so long. I feel stuck in how to express this part of myself, too.

I'd love to hear from other married or partnered bi folks, especially those who came to terms with their sexuality later in life. How have you navigated the curiosity, the uncertainty, and figuring out what being bi means to you?

Mostly, I'm hoping to connect with people who understand some of this firsthand. I'm feeling pretty uncertain about what comes next, and I'd really appreciate hearing your stories and experiences. Thanks. ❤️

Whether you're out or not, your identity is valid. You don't have to be out to love who you are.

National Coming Out Day was founded on October 11, 1988, by Dr. Robert Eichberg, a psychologist, and Jean O'Leary, a prominent LGBTQ+ activist.

The founders chose October 11 to mark the one-year anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, which drew over 500,000 people to demand equal rights and an end to the AIDS crisis.

My wife and I have a great marriage, and I’m not threatened by the possibility that she might be attracted to women. I’m mostly curious and want her to feel comfortable being herself.
A few years ago, I noticed her talking to a woman she thought was cute, although she was actually trying to set her up with one of my friends. Similar things had happened before, so I eventually asked my wife if she was into women. She got upset because she felt like I was accusing her of being gay, so I dropped it.
Later, she brought it up herself after talking with her counselor. She said sexuality isn’t necessarily black and white and estimated she might be around 20% attracted to women, although she wasn’t sure if it was actual attraction or more admiration or jealousy.
Eventually, she started seeing a woman for beauty appointments. This woman was in a lesbian relationship, and my wife seemed to genuinely enjoy their conversations. She’d come home glowing and excited to tell me about them. They discussed some pretty personal topics, including what sex with women was like, but from what I could tell, it wasn’t flirting.
One night, after drinking, my wife said she might actually be closer to 40% into women. The next day, she said she still wasn’t sure what it meant and joked that she’d probably giggle if she ever tried being with a woman. She also just kinda laughed the whole conversation off like she didn’t say it.
I told her I wasn’t threatened and would be open to discussing it if she ever genuinely wanted to explore that side of herself. I never pushed the subject.
Over time, her excitement about seeing this woman seemed to fade. I don’t know if that means anything or if their connection simply became more routine.
My wife is very Christian, grew up in a family where this would have been taboo, and has only ever been sexually involved with me. We’re happy, and I’m not looking for evidence of cheating or trying to convince her she’s bisexual.
I’m genuinely curious whether there’s a side of her sexuality she hasn’t explored or whether it’s simply admiration and curiosity.
For those who’ve experienced something similar, how did you distinguish genuine same-sex attraction from curiosity or admiration? Did it ever develop into wanting to explore it, or did it remain just a part of who you were?

I’m 46 and married to a beautiful woman for 9 years, everything in our relationship is great, we communicate with each other without issues, have great sex, it’s all perfect to be honest.

From a short time now something inside me began changing and I began fantasizing about dick, never in my life I felt bisexual before and it’s all so new that sometimes I can’t help feeling like I’m betraying my wife. I’m not looking for anything to happen outside my marriage and if it happens it will be in full complicity with my wife.

I’m struggling with that feeling because it makes me feel guilty of hiding something important to her but I’m too afraid to come out to her.

Has anybody gone through something similar to this?
How did you handle it?

I'm 33, married to a woman I love, together four years, married one. I've known I was bisexual since I was a kid. I had basic mutual experiences with a friend when I was 13 to 14 but never anything else after that, and spent the next two decades presenting as straight and being in hetero relationships with women, while quietly carrying this. I've come to accept this in the last 2 years, especially last year internally, where I fully emotionally metabolized that I am totally bisexual and yearn for male intimacy, despite being in a hetero monogamous marriage.

A few nights ago I finally told her, after the internal compression inside me reached boiling point. I had to confront this and be open with her.

I'd been building up to it for weeks. On the couch, more affectionate than usual, she could tell something was coming. She got nervous, because she's not used to me being the one to open something up. I stumbled through the setup, and then just said it. I've always had bisexual thoughts and feelings since I was young.

She was immediately warm. Referenced the Kinsey scale, joked that everyone's a little bi, told me it wasn't a big deal. She didn't flinch. She didn't ask a single question about my past, my fantasies, what I want. She just accepted it and moved on.

Which was the best possible response, and also strange.

Because I'd spent years preparing for this. I felt it in my chest for days. And she received it in about four minutes, then the conversation drifted into other things. Mostly her saying she's been less sexually attracted to me lately because of my unemployment and how much time I spend on my computer or phone or simply immersed in my own work. That was the part she actually wanted to talk about.

We had incredible sex afterward, twice, the kind we hadn't had in a long time. Something opened up.

But in the month now since, she hasn't brought it up once. Not a single question. And I'm sitting here with all this intensity and nowhere to put it. I want her to be curious. I want her to ask me things. I want to talk about it more, and I don't know how to bring it up again without making it feel like a bigger deal than she seems to think it is.

I should be honest about something else too. My own internal usage of porn as a relief is predominantly bi/gay porn, especially in the last year or so, simply because I have no other outlet for this.

I desire to ask her about her fantasies, or whether she would consider a threesome or a bisexual couple in the future. But that conversation feels like the next stage, and I know I already crossed the big bridge of just coming out.

And I know in my heart of hearts that my growing yearning for male intimacy, a bromance, a male outlet, is becoming more non-negotiable. I can't imagine not experiencing that one day. Within the context of a happy marriage, the ideal scenario is that she accepts that.

I also have no idea what to do with it going forward. Whether anything changes, or whether it just becomes a fact she knows and we never speak of again.

I know I'm early. I know she needs time. I'm not in a rush and I'm not looking to blow anything up. I just wanted to write this down somewhere, and hear from men who've been here.

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Happy Bisexual Visibility Day to all the bi Kings, Queens, and Themperors out there! 🩷💜🩵

Originally established in 1999 as "International Celebrate Bisexuality Day," it was co-founded by three incredible activists: Wendy Curry, Michael Page (the designer behind the iconic pink, purple, and blue flag), and Gigi Raven Wilbur (who celebrates their birthday today, September 23rd!). This day caps off Bisexual Awareness Week (September 16th–23rd, est. 2014), wrapping up a week dedicated to honoring the community, challenging biphobia, and actively fighting bisexual erasure.

- Love always, a proud straight wife and fervent ally.

Wherever you are on the sexuality spectrum, and wherever you are in your journey, you matter!

Take Pride in who you are! Be fearless! Those who love you will always love you! We are there for each other!

A couple of days ago I finished watching DTF St. Louis with my wife. That series spoke to me in way more ways than I thought it would and got me seriously thinking about my life and life choices.

A bit over 10 years ago I moved to Los Angeles from Greece for my Master’s. A year later, I had a job, my (then) girlfriend moved to the States to be with me, we got married, started a family together. At the time it felt great. New country, new city, new everything. Made some friends in college (all of them female), and what I didn’t realize I would miss was all my friends from back home.

I’m a VERY introverted person. I would much rather spend time by myself than to go out and talk to random people. I wasn’t always like that, but the older I grow, the more I appreciate a quiet life at home.

I never had a “true friend” over here. Perhaps it’s the different culture? Perhaps I’m just weird? Or perhaps it’s a combination of things. I did make a friend, who was around my age, and also Greek. We had a true “bromance”. We’d go out for beers, go camping, do all sorts of things - until he and his family decided to move to a different city. Not gonna lie, that hit hard. I thought I finally had a buddy here, and then I lost him.

For the past year or so I’ve been feeling more and more alone. This is where DTF comes in. The way it portrayed adult (middle-age?) male loneliness… it was so unique. The feelings that the characters had for each other… the way their friendship was portrayed… everything felt too close to home.

And to add to this, having a bi side that I have never revealed (and don’t intend to reveal) to my wife. There was nothing sexual with the buddy that I had. But he felt like the person that I could speak to about it, and he would not judge.

Anyways… I’m sure there are other guys like me, in their early 40s, who feel the same way. I don’t feel trapped or anything. Perhaps this is just part of “growing up” in a foreign country. But man, do I wish it was not the case.

My wife and I sort of hashed out some rules for a potential bf for me. 1st, She had said in the past after I came out to her that she was fine if I found a bf.. but she didn't want there to be any sexual interactions between him and myself. So I never pursued that avenue, she doesnt recall saying that, but I do remember it clearly. 2nd. She does/doesn't want them to be in the household, not in a living situation but like date's and that sort of hangout interactions. Like she wants to know what is happening and be in control. But also said that she might just want me to be out of the house with them and give her a "break."

We have sort of joked more and more about my bisexuality over the last few months and sort of seem like she's slightly more comfortable with it, and this seems like a big jump from her. Should I be worried or excited to move forward. We have not had any other serious conversations about boundaries and what those look like for context. Does that potentially mean she has someone else she's been eyeing? I don't know exactly why, but these last 2 months, I've had numerous dreams of infidelity on my side and her side of our marriage. It almost seems to have been coincidentally timed for her to say these things. Do any married bi guys have any helpful suggestions on how to move forward?

Any advice or experience with a similar situation is appreciated. I do understand that bringing a 3rd/bf into the mix would probably strain a lot of stuff as we don't have the best communication skills yet. I will be starting therapy again because I do benefit from it. She is still not in favor of therapy. Even after she saw how much it helped us in the past.

I came out to my wife and few months ago and since then it has really spiced up our sex life. We have experienced swinging with another couple and really enjoyed our time with them.

My struggle seems to be getting overwhelmed with being with another man. I am really turned on by the idea of being with a Trans woman but there is just something I cant seem to let go of.

So, I’ve been struggling with some weird thoughts, and I’m just trying to 1) put a name to the thoughts I’m having other than “questioning” and 2) just kinda get my thoughts out there.

I have known I’m bisexual for a long time, ever since I was a teenager. I have dated both men and women, and have loved each one deeply! I’m currently dating a man (for reference, I’m NB AFAB) and I absolutely adore him and can’t imagine where I’d be without him. But sometimes, I just sit here and think about how much I “miss” being with a woman. Maybe “miss” isn’t the right word, but it’s almost this yearning to be with a woman?? I’ll just sit here and just start thinking about women, and how I just love women, and how my life may or may not be different if I were with one.

I also just feel weird bc, like I mentioned before, I adore my SO, so why am I feeling this way? It doesn’t feel fair to him, and I just start to get anxious about it. It almost feels like I’m cheating without actually cheating?? Idk, words are hard and overall I’m just confused. Idk if it’s just how I felt while in same sex relationships that I miss or if it’s the genuine desire to be in a same sex relationship again, but either way I just don’t know what to do.

My husband (45/M) and I (42/F) have been together nearly 20 years. I was openly bi when we met, and have been monogamous during our relationship. We have 2 crazy kids, and we are still super in love with each other, etc.

Recently, my husband came out to me as a queer man. It’s not the biggest surprise, he’s expressed same sex attraction before, we have kinky sex, etc. we have also recently opened our marriage and are enjoying a queer Hotwife dynamic (I go play with ladies, he enjoys the cucking).

While this is not the most surprising news, I am very supportive and positive about him coming out. After all, I’m Bi, I should be the most supportive partner on the planet, right?

Except ever since he came out to me I’ve been overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about him leaving me. Which he has assured me he never will, and he has no romantic attraction to men.

Still, it feels like the floor has fallen out beneath me. Intellectually I know we are solid, but my dumb lizard brain cannot stop panicking. What do I do? Has anyone else gone through this? I feel like an insecure hypocrite.