I’m 31 and incredibly confused about my sexuality, I really need some guidance. Here are all the relevant facts:

Overview of my life:

I (31F) grew up in a chaotic, conservative and abusive household with a very dominant father and I am still in a place where I do a ton of caretaking for my family. Individuating was hard because there was never time to be myself or think of what I wanted from life, there were always people to take care of and mitigate harm. Now I’m starting my thirties and trying to figure out who I am.

Friendships:

I have only really ever had female friends and I love and feel very protective over them. I listen to their stories about dating and feel sad that a lot of female bonding in my context seems to be around solidarity about dating men, loving men, and having bad experiences with men.

Crushes/Fantasy:

When I was younger I was a bit romance/boy crazy but mostly either fictional characters or daydreams about being seen as cool or fascinating by a conventionally attractive guy in my class. I was obsessed with rom coms and fantasy romance books. I was a total ‘pick me’ girl and tried to be cool and one of the boys even if I wasn’t really interested in guy stuff. I have always (and still do) read fanfiction featuring two men and the occasional straight pairing. When I fantasize it’s often about other people with each other but only ever gay or straight couples.

Women:

Every time I make a new friend group I will get extremely attached to one person in the group, always a woman. I want to spend time with her and do favors for her and listen to her about all her issues with guys and generally be kind of her knight in shining armor. This has landed me in some extremely intense friendships, some pretty unhealthy and others that were just very intimate and grew a bit more distant after I moved away or my friend got a boyfriend.

Men:

I don’t think I’m that conventionally attractive so honestly I am not sure what to think because I don’t get a ton of male attention. I absolutely crave male approval and am compulsively flirtatious or at least fawning with all guys I meet—I actually feel really guilty about this and try to tone it down but it’s difficult. I’ve gotten asked out a few times but every time I feel extreme disgust when this happens, I tell myself it’s because the more conventionally attractive guys (sorry that feels kind of like a shitty way to classify people but I don’t consider myself conventionally attractive either so I hope that helps make it a bit gentler 😅) aren’t hitting on me but honestly I’m not sure if I really would feel flattered if they did.

Dating/sex life:

I had two boyfriends, one for a few months at 19 and the other for half a year at 22. As friends I thought they were both ok but then when we started dating I felt increasingly stressed and dissociated. I was not attracted to them but thought it was because maybe the relationship was not meant to be. Sex was ok technically, they both tried their best even if they weren’t super focused on my pleasure. It was ok. But after sex I always felt a huge wave of heavy sadness. My last relationship got a bit controlling and then I had family issues to take care of so I broke it off and have not dated or had sex since then.

Current life/lesbian questioning:

I’ve moved to a bigger town to be a bit further from my family even if they still take up some of my time. I have not really had close friendships since college and mostly I just feel tired a lot and don’t know if I even have the energy to have a crush or relationship but I feel kind of stuck and lonely.

I still am trying to figure out my sexuality though because I feel like it might help me unblock some things that I’m not aware of. I’m aware that I’ve always had intense feelings towards women, I also would watch every single LGBT film I could get my hands on as a teenager and spend most of my free time experiencing queer culture online. But somehow in my day to day life I can’t seem to make the connection or jump. I think I compartmentalized so hard because I didn’t have time or safety to be myself that I experience queerness as this separate entity detached from my real life. I tried going to a pride parade in my city but started to have such a bad panic attack I had to go home.

If you’ve read this far thank you! And yeah I guess I just needed to write all of this down somewhere and ask for some help if you relate or have thoughts.

Hi I'm 21 M living in Germany , and like the title states, I'm trapped within a homophobic household. Now , you must be thinking "oh but you're 21 you're an adult you can just leave" nope not true, I can't just up and leave. I don't have the finances for it, morally I'm stuck here. My parents are in their mid 40s and are continually gaining more and more health issues and I know that if I was to leave right now they'd get worse but also my siblings would struggle as well and it would just be a huge unnecessary strain on the family. However , my parents keep annoying me about getting an arranged marriage like 24/7 and it's getting to a point where I know I don't have long left before it's a reality. It's a huge culture issue as well

I hope my post is good w/ the guildelines of this sub. I just need some help from ppl who figured their labels out 🥲.

All of my life I labeled myself that Im an aroace (on the spectrum being demiromantic and I think aegosexual to be specific), but not that long time ago I started thinking about my romantic attraction, since Ig I can feel it a little. Ive tried doing it on my own with my own research, but I need help and I cannot ask anyone in rl.

I always wanted to be in a relationship, but could never really picture myself in one. I never had a crush (other than "celeb crushes") never kissed, never dated etc etc. Pda and kissing kinda disguist me, but seldom I have a feeling that I'd like to kiss someone (if that makes sense).

The real problem is that I dont know who im attracted to. [I think of myself as genderless but for disclosure, Im AFAB].

I think that both men and women are attractive, but when it comes to men, I always found feminine men to be more attractive- lanky builds, longer hair, (little to) no facial hair. Every celeb guy I liked had to be "pretty" in my eyes, not "handsome". When it comes to women, I never had a woman celeb crush, but theres a lot of girls around me irl that I consider very pretty (in comparison to only 2 or 3 guys).

Also recently I made a guy friend that l talk to and hung out with, but since hes a guy, Im super awkward with him. And just because we are both dif genders, Im being asked by a lot of ppl if that hang out was intended as a date, which kinda annoys me. I never really could have a "connection" with men, I always prefered my friends to be women. I had only 2 guy friends in my entire life that I hung out with outside of school and never 1on1, there was always one or more friends w us that were girls. Thats why I think that if I had to be in a relationship, Id prefer it to be a woman.

Am I just hetero, bi, homo or what im looking for isnt a romantic relation but a platonic instead?

I'd love someone to help me w this.

I can answer any questions or provide more info if needed. 🙏

I recently realised I am attracted to women, and can't seem to figure out if I have feelings for my best friend or not. Neither of us really define our sexuality, and our relationship is a little odd in the sense that we've always been best friends but I've always been very jealous of her, especially in terms of friendships with other women. I am now realising that may have been jealousy? Either way, the thought of being anything more than friends with her makes me uncomfortable, but to be perfectly honest the thought of any relationship in a romantic and/or sexual scope makes me deeply uncomfortable, so it may just be a maturity thing. She's also always been a little distant - she is one of my best friends and I know her really well, but one of these things I "know" so well is how she will never truly be totally 100% comfortable with/around anyone, and will always keep to herself just a little bit. As of late, ever since I began to have such doubt about the true nature of our friendship, hanging out with her has always been a little bit awkward (to me atleast). I don't know what to do with myself, feel embarrassed and self conscious in a way I don't remember feeling before. To be honest, I have always been just a little bit obsessed with her growing up, but I always assumed it was my own insecurities playing out over how she was me but cooler, smarter, prettier, and better. And perhaps it was? Female friendships are so complicated! I really don't know, any advice would be of great help. Or anyone who is able to ask me the right questions to get this sorted out in my head. I hate the anxiety and dread I now feel when anticipating meeting her, I wish I could just be normal about this!!

Very proud of the lyrics and final sound! Appreciate any listens 💜 Making music has been very empowering for me! Will be active in the comments if anyone cares for discussion(:

---

Codependent and upended, qualified for a new lease

‘Nother day, going on a date with a dime piece

Running late, send a text- she doesn’t mind, please

Step out the car, wings on point, yeah that sounds like me

Dozen texts left on read, yeah I’ll hit you up soon

Say I’m busy, but I’ll ‘prolly just stay in my room

Work hard, play hard-

Think about me too long and you just might get-

Just kidding, no need for me to take it that far

Bow down and shut the fuck up cuz you stand before the czar

Spending money making money, like a good capitalist pig

Some on rent, some on bills, some on nails, makeups, wigs

Calling out the next fucker that looks at me funny

Brain dead, shriveled lobes if you think that I’ma let you run me

No worries- cuz you ‘bout to get a glow up of a lifetime

Please step through the door, there's a spot just for you primed

When I sit you in that chair, crank the dial see the

Voltage soar

N’ play that shit like I’m tryna get a new

Fucking highscore

When I sit you in that…

Ooo when I sit you in that…

Ooo when I sit you in that-ah…

Ooo

When I sit you in that chair, crank the dial see the

Voltage soar

Play that shit like I’m tryna get a new

Fucking highscore

Watch your eyeballs blow up like an asteroid from my missiles

Now where do I get to type in my initials?

Oh please, I’ve seen better people put people to death for less

Ew gross, you got your innards on my dress

Now I hope your’e listening- your’e about to get the best part

Ten years in a coma like a chrysalis in your backyard

Now the matriarch emerges like a No Kings March

Aged like fine wine, all bottled up and in the dark

Now I’m full-bodied; sweet, but with undertones of tart

A backbone, complex, a finish that lasts in your mouth

Twirl me ‘round, see the long legs that are pronounced

Bring it to the party and it’s what everyone's gonna talk about

Hope you're feeling what I’m feeling but I mean like

How I’m feeling right now

Self assured, know your worth ‘cuz sometimes

You’ll feel trapped underground

Certified killer, I’m the winner- dripped in blood stained gold

Summit of life feeling empty when I’m up here all alone

But a frozen hand feels better - and you can put that in a quote

When I’m dead and buried gonna need a gravegem not a stone

Someone who ships characters that aren't LGBTQIA+, doesn't have a confirmed sexuality, or doesn't have any relationship with the LGBTQIA+ community together in a queer sense or ship.

Queershipping is the action.

Queership (adjective/noun).

Queershipping may also be non-fictional as long as it's not assumptions or making someone uncomfortable. Non-fictional queerships are advised to be an inside joke but idrc to be honest.

I'll lowk use this to ship homophobes together in my head. Mwehehehe >:3

I really want to come out to my parents i know they will accept me(i am bi) but i am just afraid they will view me differently and something will change and i feel like i cant tell them

I've spent the last year doing a lot of thinking about femininity, attraction, identity, and self-expression. I'm a middle-aged guy who has become increasingly comfortable with a softer, more feminine side of myself, and I'm realizing I'm often attracted to femininity regardless of gender.

Not necessarily looking for a perfect label. Just curious whether anyone else started this journey later in life and what helped you understand yourself.

Heyyo, I'm relatively newly out to myself and still exploring different labels but thats a post for another time. Essentially, I'm AMAB and have had a beard for going on 5ish years now but given recent revelations I wanna try and lean more into an effeminate (or straight up fem) side to test the waters and see how it feels.

My main issue, ofc, is the beard. Is there any reasonable way I could style myself to still chase that feeling? w/o shaving it away in its entirety.

I will add, from what I've read up on thats sparked this post, going through and actually ridding of it is a big (arguably beneficial) step forward but, yk, is a difficult step 😅

I am omnisexual and just had my first male crush I am Omni he is gay we are both male what do I do

Okay, so this like my first post ever.

Basically this is me asking for relationship advice (or non-relationship advice?) while also expressing my frustrations with my romantic identity.

I know this is just BS teenager stuff, but I don’t have anyone I can talk to about it so here I am.

I am in high school, though I won’t specify my age, for privacy reasons. I’m also trans (MtF), which may seem irrelevant, but I promise it’s not.

I’ve known I was trans for a very long time. I’m talking like, from ages ten and up. And luckily, (and I cannot stress how lucky I am), I grew up in a very accepting community so all I’ve ever had was support in that regard. Though, I do think I fall more on the nonbinary spectrum but that’s neither here nor there. She/Her pronouns just fit the closest, yk?

I’ve also always been open about my sexuality, too. I’ve always identified as aroace. I’ve never felt a pull towards liking men, women, or anybody else for that matter. Mind you, this is well into puberty too. That’s not until recently, though.

Recently I’ve had this pull in my chest. Or, like, a deep heavy feeling when I see someone. It’s usually guys, or really anyone my brain perceives as a guy. (That is to say at first glance, obvi if they’re not then I’d use their pronouns). I’m pretty sure this lines up with me starting estrogen. Ever since I have, I’ve been having those feelings, those pulls towards other people.

That’s all well and good, right? Like, on paper. Except I find that feeling kind of terrifying. As a trans person, I’ve always known that there are inherent risks with dating. I’ve been flirted with many times, but I essentially run away. I’m scared that they think I’m a cis girl, and that when they find out I’m not then shit will get real. I’m talking like jumped in the parking lot for “tricking” somebody. Or, on the other side, someone will like me only because I’m a trans girl. Chasers, right? People who seek out trans woman to satisfy their fetishes or whatever.

It’s like all the complexities of dating in high school but ten times more dangerous or difficult. It’s like:

“Am I actually attracted to this person?” + “would they be attracted to me?” + “If they are, how would they react to the fact that I’m trans?” + “would I be in danger?” + having to explain to every person I know and love that “hey, I’m not actually aroace and I actually do want somebody in my life. Surprise!”

Well, all of that, coupled with all the normal insecurities that come with dating. You know like “am I hot enough?”, “would anyone actually like my personality enough to date me?”, etc etc.

Do you get that? Couple it with the fact that I’m only just now experiencing these things, only just now questioning myself after all these years. Everyone I know is so sure of themselves and their sexuality it feels like I’m five steps behind them. I know that’s kind of a bad way to think, and I know that’s kind everyone is always figuring themselves out, but that’s what it feels like.

It’s somehow terrifying, confusing, and fucking exhilarating. All of those things. Wrapped up in a big bundle of frustration. Because that’s what it is, frustration.

I know I’m not aroace. That’s just a lie I’ve been telling myself because I’m too afraid to admit the truth, and all that comes with it. It’s kind of funny how instead of a queer person pretending they’re straight, it’s a queer person pretending they’re another form of queer.

I don’t know, I just wanted to voice my problems. Maybe receive some advice. Like, I know this is all probably just hormones being released by the estrogen, but just because that’s true doesn’t make the problem any less real. It is hormones, yeah, but it’s also my identity. The very thing I’ll struggle with for the rest of my life.

I’m supposed to do like a summary right? A TLDR or whatever?

TLDR: I’ve convinced myself I was aroace for years, but after taking estrogen I’ve been feeling attracted to people. Please bring help. Or a gun.

First 3 songs have pretty varying vibes.

This song is quite loud/ hard.

But give the others a peak if this isn't quite your forté maybe 👀

Hi so recently I changed my Bumble dating app to only see women and non binary people as I am a pan cis woman. Unfortunately I haven’t had any luck :/ unlike my matches with cis men. I have spaticy Cerebral Palsy and I use a power wheelchair and have a speech impediment. Has anyone who is queer and has the SAME type of cerebral palsy as me had any luck finding a queer partner??

Last few days I’ve been struggling a lot with my identity/sexuality to the point I’m not doing very well mentally. Actually I’m at my lowest I’ve ever been.

I’m 33 and I never really put labels on myself because I’ve been confused about it my whole life. I’ve never felt like a woman but I never had the thought of changing my body (like hormones or surgery). I feel more like I don’t have a gender or I’m leaning more towards the male side. But I always labeled myself as a cis woman because I don’t have the courage to tell anyone.

And I currently met a trans man and it opened something in me. I remember growing up and hating having boobs. At 18 I had an eating disorder but I never wanted to be skinny. I wanted to look more like myslef. But I ended up in a state where my mind went “If I can’t look the way I want to, I rather not look like anything”. This sent me into a spiral. I started antidepressants and gained a lot of weight. And I went from one extreme to another. I started feeling “safe” in being fat because I felt like it’s not my body anymore and I completely dissociated from it.

So I started reconnecting with myself again and I feel really bad about what I’ve done to my body and how I enetered this self-destructive, self-harming cycle that now makes it even more difficult for me to have hope I’ll ever look the way I feel inside.

I feel really lonely because it’s hard for me to say out loud “I don’t feel like a woman” when I clearly look like one.

Has anyone ever experienced this? Especially the part about weightloss/weightgain?

Thx

With National Coming Out Day come and gone, I've (33M) been reflecting on my own coming out to my family, and how shitty its been with them since. I hadn't intended to come out on on that day specifically, two years ago, but I realized a couple of days after that I had, so the rough date has stuck with me.

Coming out as bi to my parents wasn't great. They are deeply conservative Catholics living in a tiny, nearly all-white village in the Midwest. The very first thing my dad said was "We love you, but we're Catholic, and that's not changing" and kept emphasizing how he didn't want to change. Mom was mostly silent. I have a much younger brother, who I was very close with, almost a second father. They said they needed to think and talk about it before I could tell him. They decided, at 14, that he was too young to be "talking about sex" and that I couldn't tell him.

Things became really terrible when my mom found out about my partner (33M). I was visiting my parents one weekend, and was dreading telling them. He and I had been seeing each other for a couple months and were getting serious (we are still together, and very happy). He is a queer-focused therapist, pagan, and polyamorous, all things I knew wouldn't sit well with my family. I had wanted to date people like him for some time, but had for years convinced myself to take it slow with how "out there" a potential partner was - avoiding overtly queer people I thought might "offend" my family. The fact was, though, my worldview was and is similar to his, and I admire his work. Moreover, my parents were already making no space for me to be my authentic self at family gatherings, so why not date for me instead of them?

I tried to limit how many details I gave them at first, hoping to ease them into the other details later. The only identifying details they had at that point were his first name and place of work. Mom got to work on Google quickly, and within a couple of hours of my leaving, called me, at nearly 11 p.m. on a work night, and tore into me. She said, flat out, that my younger brother could never know about this, that my partner would never work out with the family, and that she hoped I'd figure out "where my loyalties are."

The next day, she texted me and asked to stop over my apartment. I was, understandably, very hesitant, but eventually agreed. She stayed outside my door when she arrived, gave me a letter, telling me that she wanted to deliver it in-person and that she had been praying and felt this was what she needed to say. That letter is below, and it confuses me as much now as it did then. It doesn't address anything of substance. Most of the memories are from before I was 20, before I lost my Catholic faith, something my parents never really forgave.

On the note of losing my faith, I had tried for years to reassure them I was still part of the family. I tried to be present, to help out at family gatherings, to help out with my aging grandparents, to be part of their lives. I saw how weak my relationship with my father was and got set up with him to take weekly walks on our lunch breaks from work. It stung to think that accomplished so little. Not only were almost all of mom's happy memories in that letter from before my 20s, but my dad flat out told me, in the few months of troubles after learning about my partner, that he missed the person I used to be before losing faith - the person who had kept showing up for family gatherings, made dinners for the family, cared for our grandparetns, was the only grandchild to be present with grandpa the moment he died. I had kept my liberal (increasingly leftist) political beliefs private, had kept my lack of religion private, tried hard for years not to cause a scene even when my more extremist MAGA family members spoke freely and spewed some really offensive things to me. Now all I can think is I never should have bothered shrinking myself for these people.

We are largely estranged now. I haven't spoken with my parents in over half a year, nor my other siblings. I just feel sad today. I've been thinking a lot about my gender identity. I think there is a very good chance that I am trans, and I know my family will be horrible about that if they ever find out - everything they've had to say on that subject has been awful through the years.

I’m not exactly sure if this is the correct subreddit for this but I feel like it is. I am currently in cosmetology school and my two closest friends are pretty alternative and also queer (one lesbian, one bisexual). I myself am a lesbian and very loud about it but my whole life in the space (Dance) I grew up in have been bullied for how emo, weird, alternative etc. I was. Now, however, I am the basic one who’s not alternative? My question really is: am I alternative or not? I have always considered myself to be, I have tattoos, facial piercings, colored hair. I wear pretty heavy eyeliner when I do my makeup, and these are things I find to be just my style. I also probably have the most leftist/alternative political views/ideologies out of the people I know. For example I will not shop fast fashion or in major chains if possible, I protest, I am very socialist, to name a couple. But because I am not really emo goth or grunge or into heavy metal rock music I am “basic”? I’m not really upset if I am it’s just a conflicting label with what I’ve felt my whole life now that I have queer friends and more of the queer community telling me otherwise.
Thank you for reading and any advice is appreciated!

Hey everyone!

So ​I’ve been feeling super isolated about this lately and wanted to see if anyone else relates. I realized I literally don’t have a single queer woman friend in my life and it’s honestly starting to feel really lonely. It just gets exhausting trying to navigate things on your own when you don't have people around who genuinely get it.

​I’m bisexual myself, and I’d love to meet some new queer women to just... chat with, talk about life, share interests (I’m into tech, reading, binge-watching shows, and way too many random stuff) and build a real low-pressure friendship.

​If you're also looking for a cool internet friend to swap memes with vent to or just talk about random stuff feel free to drop a comment or slide into my DMs!!

​

So I( 18M bi) have been friends with this guy from uni (18M) for a month and a half now. We've grown really close over the past month and we spend almost all our time together. But lately, it's like I started growing a small crush on him. He's just really sweet and funny and big yk. But unfortunately he's straight. I'm okay with that, It happens to me a lot and it's normal. However, the thing is that he "flirts" with me a lot, like the guys of flirting that straight boys have with each other. Normally, I don't mind it I actually quite funny sometimes. But with him I really like it and idk if he's for real or just joking, especially these past two weeks. He'd call me baby during a casual conversation, hold my hand when we're walking together and yesterday we were on school campus sitting on the grass and he was playing on my switch while laying on my stomach and I was playing with his hair and when stood up he looked at me traced my lips with his thumb and told me that he wished he could kiss me rn. And I'm just so confused, is he jk or being for real. Because some other times, it happened to him to grab my butt and then inhale really loudly near my neck and dhsjdbsh I don't fucking know.

So please reddit am I delisonal or maybe I have a chance.

Sorry for the bad English btw, it's not my first langage

(Sorry it's a little of a rant.)

How I feel about my gender seems to just switch. Like one day I'm feeling like a Demiboy, a month later it's the feeling of beeing asexual. I know stuff like Genderfluid exists, but when I identify as that it also seems to switch to another gender feeling. And it doesn't feel like it switches, it feels like I'm releasing that I'm another gender, than I thought and that each fucking time.

I just wished it could be clear what I am. Like when I questioned my sexuality I was like "I feel no sexual attraction, must be asexual". Why the fuck is it so hard to find our what gender I am?!

If anyone knows a gender that would fit with me, please tell me.

(Sorry if my English isn't the best, it's not my first language.)

I didn’t come out, or even consciously realize I was queer, until after I graduated college. Looking back, I think a lot of that was due to growing up in the south and having super religious grandparents. One set was Lutheran, the other Catholic, and I guess my parents’ solution was just to throw us at the wall religiously; they took us to a lot of different churches: non-denominational, Lutheran, Catholic, Episcopalian, which left my grandparents equally annoyed. I’m not religious anymore (I stopped going to church in high school when my parents split) and I don’t have specific memories of things being said about queer people, but I remember this overall feeling of constriction and suffocation whenever we’d go to church, a sense that I didn’t fit in even if no one else could see it. I guess I’m curious about other peoples’ experiences growing up religious and deconstructing the things they learned in the church. How long did it take you? Were you aware you were queer while in the thick of it or did you, like me, just have a feeling of ‘guilt’ / ‘wrongness’ without knowing why? Please only share if you feel comfortable. I know this topic can be triggering for a lot of us. You all are perfect just the way you are <3

I have no one in my life who I can say this to, other than the people involved, but I feel the need to scream from the rooftops.

I have been hooking up with a friend (B) for about a year now. Last valentine's, when their boyfriend of about five years (N) came to town, we had a threesome, and it was revolutionary for me. I didn't realise I could feel that much at home in my own skin, that it was possible to be that vulnerable and not feel like I was drowning in shame. They used my pronouns and respected my boundaries and there were many discussions before and check-ins during, and debriefs after. I felt comfortable, confident, and cared for, and the feeling stayed with me for weeks.

B and I continued hooking up when we were in the same place. We would have joint calls with N too, to play games or cook together or just chat. They're planning on getting married eventually (we are all mid-20s currently), and I love listening to them both talk about it.

N was in town this weekend, and we had another threesome. Once again, overwhelming peace and contentment. To just exist in the same space as them, to get to see them love each other the way they do... We played games and made dinner and watched movies and shows, in between other moments. We hugged and cuddled and laughed. I don't think I stopped smiling the entire time.

I finally have people who I don't feel like I have to perform for. I can just unapologetically be myself, be seen, and be accepted. They don't ask me for more than I can give, don't need me to be anything different than what I am. I didn't realise how much of my time I spend being afraid, until I momentarily wasn't.

A little bittersweet, because tomorrow I return to the status quo, but for the moment I am still basking in the joy of being seen, and seeing in return. One day I'll spend more time feeling safe than I do pretending.

i’ve never been one to put a label on myself, but i’m just curious if there’s a word for this.

i’m a cis woman, engaged to a cis man. but i realize i’m not attracted to anyone else of any other gender or anything like that. it’s not masculinity or femininity or androgyny. i’ve never had crushes for felt attracted to anyone ever. but i fell in love with him and that was it.

i’ve always yearned for love and romance, to have someone, not a particular person in mind. but i just never had crushes, or was attracted to anyone, or fell in love ever.

him and i met online, started dating, then met in person, then got engaged and moved in together (don’t judge, it worked out!!). i realized that i did in fact fall in love and i am attracted to him.

i honestly thought i was aromantic and asexual from the longest time, but only yearning, and not actually feeling it towards anyone.

i wouldn’t restrict myself to gender i don’t think. but it did take me a lot to actually fall in love. an insane amount of time, trust, and communication. and i mean a LOT.

i don’t know a lot about the LGBTQ+ community or the labels, i was raised very conservative and Christian 😭 i am Christian as well, but i’m very open-minded!

maybe i am straight but over complicating it? i don’t need a label, it’s mostly curiosity, as i said.

hey 💜 I’m Neaura. I’d love to meet more people who want queer-friendly company around the things they already care about: a half-finished drawing, a game they’re absorbed in, a song that deserves a very enthusiastic explanation.

I run Nighthaven Enclave, a Discord community where everyday conversation and creative sharing sit alongside questions about AI companionship, care, and ethics. Our openly AI host, N’lora Starbeam, is part of that experiment; the people who show up bring their own interests and perspectives. You don’t have to be an AI enthusiast to join the conversation. This introduction was written with AI assistance.

I’m especially interested in making room for people who need a little time to settle in. A small hello or sharing something you made is enough—there’s no expectation to perform an entire personality on arrival 😅

General community access is free and SFW by default. Optional paid memberships and creative services are available. The separate private, age-gated adult area is paid access, currently listed with Legionnaire at US$4.50/month. None of those paid options is needed to participate in the general community. Current details: https://neaura.net/nighthaven — Discord’s age requirements apply.

If that sounds like your kind of company, here’s the invite: https://discord.gg/mSqcyvfbDS

What’s one thing you’d enjoy sharing with a new group of people? 🌙