I started getting more matches when I removed "bisexual" from my hinge, I also noticed whenever I mention that I am bi, they ghost me within a day or two lol.

I recently posted here about my anxiety over coming out to my wife.

Well, earlier this week I did it, and it went well. I told her how I felt, and that it didn’t change anything about how I love her and want to be with her and only her. There were a few moments of silence that felt like hours, then she just hugged me.

We talked for a good hour or so about it all. I’ve only just accepted my bisexuality myself, so there were lots of questions and only a few clear answers. She said she was proud of me. I didn’t know what to expect, so I was glad this was her reaction.

I just wanted to share my experience here as several people replied to my original post, and they really gave me the courage to have the conversation. So to those people, thank you so much and I hope you see this 🩷💜🩵

The past few days have been nice and I feel like we’ve become closer. I can tell she is still processing the news and she did say she may explore it with her therapist. I was told to expect this and I completely respect that it’s a big piece of news in our relationship.

I feel so much lighter now, and I’m looking forward to learning more about bisexuality and what it means for me moving forward.

Hey-o

I'm still very new to this whole being attracted to both dudes and dudettes thing, and I'm kinda floundering. I have this great new motivation that's getting me into the gym on the regular but I used to really like hitting the steam-room and now I feel like going anywhere near there would make me a skeevy perv. I'm also kinda scared that "something might come up", if you get my meaning...

Has anyone else worried about this? What did you do? Do I have to live a steam-less life from here on out?

Now it’s porn and I hate it. It became a trans fetish lounge and I’m uncomfortable and kind of ashamed of it. Obviously one stupid subreddit is not the reason for biphobia. But it’s still icky to me

Yeah yeah I already left blah blah blah I’m just venting.

Sorry this might be long but I need somewhere to let it out and maybe some folks hopefully have some sage advice:

I became really close with a friend in my city after he approached me organically and we started hanging out together a few years ago. We are both married to bisexual women, and would talk a lot about how they are our greatest loves. My relationship with my partner has always been very understanding and built on mutual trust of our queer attractions, supporting each other in our desires and continuing to explore opening our sex life to different friends and partners. I know that they have also explored with an FFM threesome before, but my understanding has always been that he was purely straight. This felt even more clear to me after I came out to him after a couple years of questioning the dynamic. I have always found him very attractive, and as our friendship grew very deeply, he would express love to me that I would reciprocate, but found complex to grapple with because of my attraction and also because I’ve always struggled to build meaningful platonic relationships with other men. He would always compliment me on how I look and has never been afraid of a long embrace — something I wasn’t used to with other straight guys. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was queer. I’m not in the closet, but I think I was masking that part of me out of fear that he would be weirded out and drift away. I finally mustered the courage one day to explain that I’m bi and have felt attraction towards him, but also that I have full respect for our friendship and really value the platonic connection that we have built — because truthfully he is such a beautiful human inside and out that I am so lucky to have built a friendship with. He seemed a little caught off guard at first but took it really well, cheering me on and appreciating me for sharing and how awesome it is that we get to be friends in this way. He explained how his upbringing has taught him adverse views about being queer, but he himself is very accepting and understanding, especially having a bi partner too. I was relieved, and felt like I had a better idea of how to navigate our boundaries, despite still feeling that sense of desire.

The connection between all four of us has really grown a lot over the past year, which has been so beautiful as I feel like we all really respect and value each other so deeply. My partner found out through his that while they have also talked about exploring their intimacy more openly, they wouldn’t do it with other friends. We noted this, but it felt funny because we’ve all had so such open conversations about sex. We are all very horny people, and it feels flirty to be talking like that with them. My partner and I actually prefer making friends with the people we want to be intimate with first, but again we wanted to respect the boundaries we were picking up on and wouldn’t initiate anything.

Fast forward several months and he just came out to us as queer over a dinner we all shared. It was very cute how nervous yet excited he was to tell us. I was so surprised, but obviously so happy for him as we had even more to relate about. We all got into fun conversations about queer life, our desires, and exploring different sexual dynamics — they had a lot of questions for us as we’ve had more experience with that. At some point his partner reiterated how they don’t want to be intimate with friends. They were seeking advice on how to find a third, and literally he said “if only we could find someone like Mike (me)!” My partner straight up said “well then take him!” but we all kind of giggled it off assuming the answer already. The night ended warmly and in debriefing with my partner, we definitely wish that they could be more open to exploring with us, but also think it is incredibly cool and special how much they feel comfortable sharing with us and that it’s our duty to respect the boundaries laid out despite how much potential we see! Is it bad that we still hold these desires while wanting to hold on to the bonds built already? Does it seem unhealthy to still have this attraction while being friends? I feel like I might get a bit jealous as they continue to share developments in their sex life, but I’m also super curious! Is it weird to think that their boundaries could change given some time? I don’t want to fuck up the friendship by pushing/suggesting more, but also believe in the power of queer relationships and its nuances, wanting to honour all the parts that value the friendship as is while also finding them super sexy!

I've always been curious about how differently attraction works among bisexual people.

I'm a masculine guy myself, both in how I carry myself and in my interests, but I've never felt the need to fit the stereotypical "macho man" image.

Physical attraction is obviously important to me, but when it comes to intimacy, I also need some kind of connection. I'm not talking about romance or anything serious straight away. Just getting to know someone, having a good conversation, grabbing a drink, having a laugh and seeing where things go.

Living in London, I sometimes find it difficult to meet, or even recognise, other masculine bisexual guys with a similar outlook. It's a huge city, yet so much of the dating and hookup culture seems to revolve around meeting someone, having sex within five minutes and moving on. Nothing wrong with that, but it's never really been my thing.

Anyway, back to what got me thinking about this!

When it comes to men, I'm naturally drawn to masculinity, whereas with women, it's more about femininity.

What I find interesting is that other bisexual men can have completely different preferences, including being particularly attracted to feminine guys. I've always wondered what makes that difference. Is it looks, personality, energy, or simply something we can't really explain?

I'm not suggesting there's a right or wrong way to experience attraction. I'm genuinely curious about how differently we all experience it.

So, how does it work for you? Does masculinity or femininity play a big part in who you're attracted to, or is it more about the individual?

I was talking at school to my friends about my bf, and this random girl came up to me and asked if i was gay,i said, no im bi, and she was looking at me rly weird so i asked her what was wrong, and she said “why arent you talking weird then? Why aren’t you acting gay?” When she said this, i was so embarrassed, because no one had ever asked me that, like im a regular dude…. (Ps i do wanna be a femboy so she got me there😭)

I like woman, I am sure about that. But for the past few years I have come to realise that I like looking at dicks. I used to deny it at first but one day I just accepted...

But I am not attracted to anything else...

I fantasize a lot about actually trying something with another man.

I read a lot of straight turned gay erotica and always imagine myself as the protagonist who is turned sometimes by curiousity or by force (please don't hate me).

As I have reached an age which is considered marriage able in my country, the curiousity has grown even more...

Also I am very afraid that if I do get married, I will betray my wife one day....

I can never talk about this to anyone because I am from India. My country is not very supportive to LGBTQ.

Any advice will be welcomed.

Hey yall, I’m a happily married (to a woman) 40M. She is absolutely wonderful, extremely supportive, and is my guiding light. I can’t imagine life without her. As a kid I suffered serious emotional and physical abuse at the hands of my dad. My mom was extremely passive during my abuse until my father starting cheating on her and she began divorce proceedings. My family also never talked about sex, and shame was common in my family. I’ve been dealing with these issues in therapy and feel like I’m making good progress.

Now as long as I can remember I’ve had different urges. When I was under ten I tried on the swim suit of a girl I had a crush on. Wasn’t caught and nothing came of it, but it felt nice. Later in my teens, I had some minor experiences with another man but we were both young and it was many years ago. These days my fantasies often involve me being penetrated, either by my wife pegging me or another man. Ideally I’d like to have a threesome with two men while my wife watches. However after ejaculation, all of my bisexual feelings dissipate, and I lose all interest in anything with a penis. I’m struggling with…whatever this is. If anyone has experienced something similar please share, I’m really at a loss.

I’m a dude who’s recently figure out he’s bi, and got on a couple apps to put myself out there. I’ve only actually been on dates with cis women before, so just testing the waters and looking to move slow.

I notice when swiping or talking to really strong-looking attractive men I’m unexpectedly intimidated by them? Like they are hot but could also overpower me if they really wanted to? Which is a confusing blend of being turned on but also terrified?

I’m wondering if this is a little taste of how smaller people and straight women feel on apps 🫠 Is this a common feeling?

Okay so I'm bi and pretty feminine for a guy but I only get attention from guys and lowkey they're all the same and I get bored of them.

I've never dated girls and non as far as I know want a femboy, so how do I meet girls who like femboys.

I'm 18 and thinking of going to queer clubs and I'm wondering if trying to find bi girls and I kinda have a feeling bi girls might be more interested in feminine guys since I guess I have features of both but I am aware every bi person is different, fuck I'm bi myself so I don't automatically expect them to be attracted to me or anything. But I hope I have atleast a higher chance with them than I seem to have with most straight girls as they only want masculine men :<

Also

I'm not using dating apps

I've also started college but I've only got attention from guys but I really have no interest

Met lots of boys and lots of girls but only the boys want me, and right now I feel little to no attraction to them.

So if there's any bi femboys with more experience please give me a little help :3

And if someone's gonna say "aRE yOU SuRe YuOr bISeXuAl" yes I am fuck you >:3

Also sorry if I seem bitchy rn

I'm a bisexual man dating the most lovely bisexual woman and things have been going great. I have only been with men previously and unfortunately I have a lot of sexual trauma from the consensual hookups I've had. I dated a man for two years who was extremely emotionally abusive and it took lots of time for me to heal from him. I was 18 and he was 25 when we met so it was not a good situation.

I'm versatile and I know that being able to bottom in a relationship is a non-negotiable for me. I've been very honest about my trauma and she has literally been the most supportive, caring, sweetest person I could ever be lucky to have regarding things. She's the first woman I've ever been with, and everything about what we have has been so easy and amazing. We've been together for around 5 months.

To get to the point, we have both been into the idea of strap-on sex and I am worried I'm going to push things too fast and get myself hurt. Has anyone been in a situation recovering from past trauma/have advice on how to take small steps into things? My biggest concern is having a post-traumatic reaction to penetration and neither of us want that. I'm sure its as simple as just breaking it down into things like just having her wear it and being intimate etc... Grinding has gone really well and I don't feel bad afterwards. I've had like two panic attacks months ago after making out and laying next to each other but that was only in the first month of being together.

I think I could really use some advice from women on how they navigated having strap-on sex for the first time with their partners who were new to it. I'm sure everything is going to work out but the last thing I want her feel is like she did something wrong. She's also on the same page of easing our way into it but I could use advice from women or people who have been in similar situations and how they navigated. Thanks so much.

If you could choose 4 people to represent the history, culture, activism, education, and community of bisexuality, who would make your Bisexual Mount Rushmore?

Your choices can include anyone who identifies as bisexual or bi+, has contributed to bisexual history or culture, or has made a meaningful impact on bisexual representation, visibility, education, advocacy, or activism. They can be historical figures, community organizers, activists, authors, artists, musicians, celebrities, researchers, or fictional characters from movies, television shows, books, comics, and video games. They can be widely recognized figures or people whose contributions deserve much more attention.

There are no restrictions based on gender, race, ethnicity, nationality, generation, background, or level of fame. Your choices can reflect historical contributions, cultural influence, community building, personal inspiration, or what bisexuality means to you.

My Bisexual Mount Rushmore would be Brenda Howard, Lani Kaʻahumanu, Robyn Ochs, and Michael Page.

Each represents something essential to bisexual history, community building, education, activism, and our ability to define ourselves on our own terms.

1. Brenda Howard: Organizing and Pride History

Known as the "Mother of Pride," Brenda Howard was a bisexual activist whose organizing helped establish the early Pride commemorations following the Stonewall uprising. Her contributions remind us that bisexual people were not simply spectators in LGBTQ+ history. We helped organize, build, and sustain the movement. Her legacy deserves recognition beyond the occasional historical acknowledgment.

2. Lani Kaʻahumanu: Political Voice and Self Determination

Lani Kaʻahumanu was a pioneering bisexual feminist, author, and activist who challenged bisexual erasure within feminist, lesbian, gay, and broader LGBTQ+ movements. As co-editor of Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out, she helped create space for bisexual people to tell our own stories rather than allowing others to define our identities and experiences. Her work represents the importance of political independence, community organizing, and unapologetic self determination.

3. Robyn Ochs: Education and Understanding

Robyn Ochs is a bisexual activist, educator, author, and speaker whose work has helped generations understand bisexuality beyond stereotypes and restrictive definitions. Her widely cited understanding of bisexuality recognizes the potential for attraction to people of more than 1 gender without requiring that attraction to be equal, simultaneous, or experienced in the same way. Her work demonstrates why language matters, why bisexual education must be accessible, and why our experiences deserve to be understood in their full complexity.

4. Michael Page: Cultural Identity and Visibility

Michael Page created the bisexual pride flag in 1998. His contribution gave bisexual communities a widely recognizable symbol of identity, solidarity, and collective belonging. The flag's pink, purple, and blue have become deeply embedded in bisexual culture worldwide. His legacy reminds us that symbols can matter tremendously, especially when they help people recognize a community that has too often been overlooked.

Why these 4?

My Bisexual Mount Rushmore would not simply celebrate fame, popularity, or who receives the most attention. It would recognize people who helped create something lasting for bisexual communities.

Brenda Howard represents our organizing history. Lani Kaʻahumanu represents our political voice and self-determination. Robyn Ochs represents our education and understanding. Michael Page represents our cultural identity and collective visibility.

These are my 4 choices, but bisexual history cannot be reduced to 4 individuals. Countless bisexual activists, writers, artists, organizers, researchers, educators, and everyday community members have contributed to our communities. Many deserve recognition despite never receiving the attention or historical recognition they earned.

For me, the most important question is not simply who made bisexuality more visible. It is who helped make bisexual communities stronger, more knowledgeable, more organized, and better equipped to determine our own futures.

Now I want to hear from you.

Who would be on YOUR Bisexual Mount Rushmore, and why?

Would you choose historical activists, contemporary educators, musicians, actors, authors, fictional characters, community organizers, or people whose contributions are rarely discussed? Would your choices reflect bisexual history, political activism, cultural influence, representation, education, or personal meaning?

You do not have to agree with my 4 choices. I want to know who you would choose and what makes their contributions important to you.

Let's recognize the people who have helped shape bisexual history, culture, and community, including the people who deserve far more recognition than they currently receive.

Now to start, I’m an 18 year old, bi sexual man and I graduated high school this year. I made the mistake of dating someone who I actually like near the end of the school year, she’s a year behind me so she’s still in school while I’m figuring out life.

We don’t have problems and I actually feel a sense of at peace or content, but the fact I never got to date a boy in person keeps crossing my mind. I’d done online stuff and actually really enjoyed it, but now I can use dating apps like grindr and whatever else you use to date people lol.

I’m drawn to breaking up with my girlfriend and getting myself out there even though today I barely have enough time for her with new jobs and me looking into trade work.

Our schedules don’t line up a lot, I’m working normal days and she works on the weekends. But I’m not unhappy and enjoy the relationship. I seem to still want something else, I want a boy but I like my girl.

It’s like I’m hoping for the end of my own relationship or that it doesn’t go as far as I think it is, we’ve been dating for around 9 months

Some advice please?

I'm a man, and there's something about my sexual fantasies that confuses me sometimes.

When I'm masturbating, I sometimes fantasize about being a submissive woman having sex with a dominant man, During these fantasies, I sometimes wish I had a vagina instead of a penis.

However, after I orgasm, those feelings disappear, and I realize that I don't actually want to have a vagina or live as a woman in my everyday life.

It's confusing because the desire feels genuine while I'm aroused, but afterward, I feel completely differently.

I'm not necessarily questioning my identity; I'm just trying to understand this experience and whether other men have experienced something similar.

Have any of you experienced something like this? If so, how do you understand it?

Please, be gentle not judgemental 💗

My partner (they/them) detransitioned after the election 2 years ago and I've had a hard time maintaining physical attraction as they have gotten more masculine

I'm occasionally attracted to really androgynous men/nonbinary people (in addition to women) so I am bisexual. I know you can't change your sexual orientation, but i guess im asking if im already bi is there hope I could become attracted to someone who looks like a man? My partner basically wants to boy mode forever unless the political situation in the US dramatically improves

Hii everyone, I recently came out to a few of my friends about me being BI, after hiding it for years. I’ve grown up in a Christian household and homophobia was presented to me early in life. I’m Christian and I don’t want to change but I’m also BI. I don’t know if that is a sin, I need advice and help 😓

Ok. I was a party to a Google Meet Mutual.

A GMM . Well. I was invited. I said ok. After chatting with him for a month. And I really enjoyed the contact. The visuals and the connection.

I was instantly addicted to wanting it . But I kept it to myself. My question is, is there anything wrong with a bisexual or gay person every now and then Google Meet someone. For mutual satisfaction?

I really want to do it again with someone. But I don't know how to ask without feeling weird about it.

But I don't think that it's weird for someone to ask.

As long as it stays between us I mean.

My friend has been hinting around with me.

He's been asking questions out of the blue.

Sexual ones sprinkled in with vague random questions so I won't pick up on it.

I really believe that he's curious. He knows that I get down, But also that we are friends. I'm thinking that he's been watching me move for a while.. like knowing some of the things and people I've messed with.

We were hanging out recently and he kept pushing me. And shoulder bumping me on the sofa.

At first I thought it was all in my head. So, I asked him when was the last time that he got a good hard Nut. He corrected himself and said "Damn, it's been a long time". I excused myself and went to my room and closed the door. I had to get back in control.

I came back out and I called my female friend up and told her that my friend needed someone to talk with.

And then I handed him the phone.

I went in my room and locked my door and laid across the bed and fell asleep.

I am so happy that I did that. I was very close to giving him a tester or worse.

I’m going on a date with a woman, and it’ll be my first date with a woman ever (I'm in my 30s). I have dated before, but I’ve never been particularly good at it. I tend to get anxious and put pressure on myself often finding it hard to just relax and be myself. Dating has never felt especially natural to me, even though I’m usually very comfortable with conversation and communication.

We’ve only met briefly once before, in a queer setting but since then we’ve been talking and I really enjoy our conversations. We have a lot in common, the communication feels easy and natural, and she does show interest in me. It’s not like we talk constantly, but there’s a nice consistency to our chatting which is probably why I keep wondering whether there might be something more there.

The thing is I genuinely can’t tell whether she’s interested in me romantically or just as a friend. I don’t know her sexuality either, although given where we met I assume she’s probably queer in some way.

I’m also not quite sure how to bring up my own sexuality. I don’t want her to assume I’m straight, but I also don’t want to suddenly become very forward or aggressively flirty because that’s just not me. Our communication is smooth, but everything still feels quite implied, and I’m not sure how much either of us is actually saying out loud.

I know she may simply like me as a friend, and I’m trying to keep that possibility in mind. But I really like talking to her and I’m genuinely looking forward to seeing her again. I think that’s why I’m both excited and anxious. Any advice would be very welcome ♥️

Ok, so- new to posting on this sub reddit, but needed some advice cause I am questioning if I (21m) am Bi... I have identified as Bi since middle school, and I am currently a junior in college for reference. I've had relationships with both men and women and I enjoyed my relationships with both, but I fear I have been like second guessing myself if I do like women in a romantic/sexual sense and same with men. Idk I feel like I am just masc leaning bi guy more towards gay but also I do find women attractive. I dont know again I might just be like freaking myself out and second guessing it...

Why do I flirt with guys on Grindr and other places but when it's time to hook up, I get scared.

I don't understand it. If I just met them somewhere, I wouldn't have any issues doing whatever.

But I just can't complete it. Im not scared of any acts just . I don't know..

I (20M) told a friend (20M) that I'm bi 2 days ago during a drunk conversation. Honestly would never have told him otherwise, because I knew this would happen. I'm not even sad, just disappointed. But, if someone can't accept me for such a little detail, there's no point hanging out with them anyways. Oh well. I guess he's entitled to his views, as me to mine. At least it didn't turn into confrontation, like he still acts civil and polite in-person.