New account because of the subject matter. Apologies for the long-ish post.

So, over my life I’ve had a biting feeling about my own identity. For starters, I’d like to state some basic things. AMAB, early 40s. I spent most of my life both being seen and treated as a man. That said, there is a very distinct and separate feminine side that has been both kind of (how shall I say this?) screaming to be recognized on and off for years both inwardly and outwardly, and so with me being in an environment now where I now feel mostly safe to explore it, I figured it’s time. For me, I feature body language that can be at times male and at times female, the desire of wanting to be a nurturer rather than a protector, and an internal sense of fitting into a traditional hardline male or female binary seems a bit inconsistent with my internal experience.

I don’t necessarily feel a full or strong disconnect from or rejection of my body (I can look in a mirror, see male, and generally accept that’s how I present to the world for now); however, I don’t feel that a full binary male expression or even inward identification is fully fitting. I’ve come out to some people who are close to me (partner, two close friends I know I can confide in about this) that I’ve been questioning this, and there was a feeling of liberation as I was speaking about it, and so I have to wonder whether this is indicative of being nonbinary, or whether I’m simply a man who has spent too long suppressing parts of himself that don’t fit traditional masculine expectations. I genuinely don’t know yet, and I’m trying to give myself room to explore that question without deciding anything about this.

What I’m still trying to understand is what these feelings actually mean about my sense of self. Is this a matter of recognizing that I don’t fit comfortably within the traditional male role I’ve occupied for most of my life, or is it an indication that my gender identity itself falls somewhere outside that binary? I can see how those possibilities might overlap, but I don’t yet know where one ends and the other begins in my own experience.

I would be interested in hearing from people who have wrestled with that distinction internally and had come to terms with it later in life rather than earlier. How did you come to understand that you were nonbinary in your own life? What helped you recognize whether it was simply a part of yourself you hadn’t felt free to express, or something that changed how you understood your gender identity?

Hey, you might be wondering on what this title even means- well I think i’m MTF, and i‘m like late 14 year old and I am so confused with my feelings. It kinda started off when I was 11-12, where I started imagining realities of me wearing feminine clothing (I don’t even know if that’s odd or not). So when I was 13 I decided to sneak onto reddit to find answers other than ChatGPT’s pretty useless yap. I found it really helpful hearing about other people’s stories, but my brain just didn’t even know anymore and I kinda quit there. - Let’s say my gender surfs, but now I feel pretty confident i’m a woman. I already thought about the possibility of being Gender fluid but after further research I just didn’t feel it. So now i’m back and i’m just feeling odd, like I find myself really creepy for imagining myself as another girl- And I can’t find another good name either that doesn’t feel right. And I know a lot of people say it takes time, and I truly understand that, but when it’s a rollercoaster of events and you just want to fully understanding your brain it’s hard. And coming out to people is just another road blocker, my family wouldn’t support it at all. They consist say stuff about how people should never transition young, the brain isn’t developed yet, etc. My chances of even a sniff of puberty blockers is ZERO. Plus I would hate to even ruin our relationship of my entire family as aside form that I truely value it. So I decided to maybe hang out with some girls, to see if you would make the situation better. Turns out no- no it hasn’t really. The girls are super nice, but the other people, people think i’m “Getting the Huzz” and being a “Simp”. Then I question myself again, because I know I dont like boys and I do like girls, so am I trans? and Yes I know but there are so many trans lesbians but like dont know!!!!! To transition when i’m older would probably cause a distant from my family, and I would hate that, even with their views… I have tried female clothing before and I love it, like there is some sort of joy like butterflies in my stomach when that happens or the thought of me wearing such clothes. But I sometimes think if I keep wairing for such answers will I ever even get them?! I have done every online quiz on the internet, the would you press the button website, I have literally done everything, and now I need help. (I am so sorry for the long yap I just have been holding it)

so as the title says, i think im trans and before you go "but you use different pronouns then she/her" i am still cis, i just dont exactly like she/her but i always thought i felt like a girl but im questioning if i was wrong?? i dont really know how to explain the feeling but whever i think of myself as anything other then a girl it feels the exact same nice feeling as being a girl?? it could just be me being a fictionkin with kins of all different genders but im not in a kinshift rn? so i doubt thats it, please help and give advice or anything!! AHH

I'm 49 and have been crossdressing for as long as I can remember. It started when I was a kid wearing my sisters' clothes, and it's followed me my entire life.

As an adult, I've bought my own clothes and sometimes wear my wife's. I go through cycles of dressing, purging everything, and trying to stop. I'll manage to put it out of my mind for a few weeks, but the urges always come back, often stronger than before.

Lately, I can't stop thinking about crossdressing and fantasizing about being a woman. It's taking up a lot of my time and sometimes interferes with work, since I work from home.

I'm trying to figure out what this all means. Can I actually stop, or am I just fighting something that's always going to be part of me? Does constantly fantasizing about being a woman mean I might be trans, or can it just be a strong desire to crossdress?

Part of me wonders if I should explore these feelings instead of continuing this cycle of dressing and purging. I'm married, 49, and honestly don't know where to go from here.

Has anyone else experienced this, especially later in life? I'd appreciate hearing your experiences and any honest advice. I'm not looking for someone to tell me who I am. I'm just trying to understand myself.

I have been thinking straight to myself but sometimes while watching porn, I like seeing lesbian and would want to try wondering on how would that feel, but skeptical as well. What should I do? Any suggestion, has anyone felt same ?

So my gender identity isnt so much the question as much as my attraction. Is there a specific term or category for being attracted primarily to femme presenting people but not necessarily just “women” ie: women(cis and trans), femme presenting NBs, femboys, etc?

I don’t really know how to start this or if I’m in the right place to talk about this really. I’m a cisgender woman and for the majority of my life so far I’ve felt a bit disconnected from being a woman or how to be one. I’ve never been an emotional person or much of an empathetic one, and to be honest I’ve always been uncomfortable being around others that were.

When it came to clothing I’d say I’m okay with my femininity and I wear things that I’m comfortable with, but on those rare occasions where it feels like I have to present myself in that “true” womanly way, I would just feel wrong. I wouldn’t describe it as dysphoria. I just don’t feel right. I guess maybe I had this idea that a woman is supposed to be an emotional, caring, compassionate being, is a goal that I’m supposed to live up to. “You’ll meet the right person one day and start a family!” Phrases like that always rubbed me the wrong way.
Another added expectation of me to be a woman is that at some point I would “want” to have a child one day, but the idea that I have that ability to create another living thing just feels so wrong. I’ve already came to terms that I don’t feel that sexual or romantic attraction to people, so I outright don’t have any intention on getting married. And I know you don’t need a partner to have or raise a kid but the idea that I can create one, I don’t know it feels so weird? Wrong? Maybe unnatural? I really don’t know how to describe what I feel towards it.

I guess maybe the cherry on top for this, I feel envious towards men. How tall they can get, gaining muscle without ever really trying, the immediate social acceptance they get without truly needing to read the room, I can’t help but feel almost jealous and envious. I know even they have their struggles too, yet I can’t help but think, “it must easy. Would it be easier if I was like them?”. I’m writing all this late at night so I apologize if a lot of this just sounds like gibberish. I don’t really know where else to really talk about or share this. I don’t know if I’m looking for answer or just a bit more clearer explanation on why I feel this way but maybe someone could relate to whatever I’m feeling.
Thanks to whoever reads this.
(Lwk gone to like multiple sub reddits with this yet it gets taken down by Reddit. Not sure why)

So around 5 months ago, I had a realisation that I might be gay, and tbh it really scared me. This all stems from my wanking material from when i was younger.

For some reason I started out wanking to hot cis women, trans girls and femboys on tiktok, then i moved to porn and i watched trans/femboy porn and sometimes straight porn (cant remember if i was aroused only can remember watching it). Then eventually only started watching straight porn when i had the realisation. The problem is i dont know what im sexually attracted to and feel as if my concept of sexual attraction has been broken by how much I track, pay attention and test myself with erections.

I have only ever liked girls in real life, one girl i liked so much I confessed to her that I liked her, i only ever spoke to this girl over snapchat even tho i went to the same school as her, i just felt so scared to speak to her in real life for some reason (idk if this means anything). Then another girl more recently kinda led me on and I was super upset when i found out she didnt like me (cried multple times).

With men ive known a few gay guys and never thought about them like that irl while socialising, i have lots of male friends that ive hugged or been shirtless around and never felt anything.

Im yet to have sex or even kiss a girl, i have pretty low confidence and i feel as if this hocd thing is holding me back (i dont actually have a diagnosis just lots of symptoms) i noticed i was testing erections daily, asking for reassurance daily and replaying memories analyizing attraction.

When wanking I do have to physically stimulate myself to get hard, but once im hard i can maintain the erection and get off multple times in one session.

Would appreciate opinions heaps as im really stuck and at a stand still with my life, sorry for the rant.

I really don't know my sexuality and this is driving me insane (sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language).

For most of my life I assumed I was straight, but recently I started questioning that.
I always had crushes on women, but I also find some men to be quite atractive, though I don't know if it's in a "Whoa, that guy is pretty, I want to date him" or in a "Whoa, that guy is pretty, I want to be like him".
Recently, I have also realized that I can see myself being in a relationship with a men, though it's usually more in a platonic way, as in, just living together and hanging out every day, without doing any typical couple stuff. Because of this, I thought I was straight, but then I realized that, whenever I imagine myself in a relationship with a woman, it's also usually platonic, without stuff like kissing or sharing a bed, just living together and hanging out, so I'm not sure.
I have seen mature and adult content with both men and women, but I do not have any interest in having sex in real life.
I always got nervous whenever I was alone with a woman, so I thought that was romantic attraction, but it was usually becuase I didn't knew the person very well, and when I'd get to know her more the nervousness would disappear, and I noticed this also happens with men sometimes, but I don't know if it has something to do with it???
I don't really connect with labels such as bi, pan or aromantic, and I get that labels don't really matter, but still, none of them feel like they fit, and I'm scared of not fitting in the LGBTQ+ community or trying to "fake" my queerness, or something like that? Or being straight and being in denial or lying to myself that I'm not.

I'm really confused about my sexuality and I feel like I'm going crazy.
I'm kind of torn between bi, aromantic or straight, but I don't feel like I fit in any of these. I get that I have to decide this for myself and that I probably won't find any concrete anwsers, but I'm just looking for some guidance, and any help would be appreciated.
Sorry if I offended anyone.

In high-school I always choose guys to like and have always been very attracted to women including butch, masc, fem, cis and Trans. I find men and male genitals unattractive but I've thought men were butchs and found them attractive and cute but then when I find out they are men I feel uncomfortable and would never do anything with them.

I've been having confusion because I can tell when a man is attractive and know he's cute and might feel a little flushed but I would never ever date or have sex with a man and I'm 100% sure I'd never, what does this mean??

I'm just so lost and confused

Hi have no idea where to post this but I thought this would maybe be the right place. I have been thinking about my self for a while and am starting to understand my self better although I am still figuring a lot out. I think there's also a feminine part within me. As a child, I often wished and imagined that I had a female body. I still dream about it and sometimes it feels so real until I realize it's just a dream Which is quite sad because I want to be true.

But I don't really feel masculine and don’t really act like other boys do Although I often try to. I mean I try to blend in with the other but I usually dosen’t work. But Inside of me I have this other personaIity which shy, thoughtful, empathetic, and happy kind of feminine I guess. Normally I have this outer personality which tries to be more masculine and be like other boys. But sometimes, this other personality slips out often unintentionally or when I feel safe. And when I am in this other personality it just feels great like This is the real me.

When I was younger I thought that I liked girls (I am gay). But maybe these emotions were just envy over the gender? Maybe it was because I saw a girl and my brain sent strong emotions. Because I saw a person who I wanted to look like (physically). And I misinterpreted these emotions as attraction.

also when someone calls me he or him it feels they are talking to a different person but not me.

Is this all normal to feel? I am very confused right now and don’t know what to do.

So as the title says im not exactly sure what i am but im a guy and im bi/pan and ive only really been aware of that for about coming up on 2 or 3 years so im still mostly new to this, so that is the the start and alittle bit of context so my main thing is even though im a guy and im mostly fine with that i still prefer always playing as a girl in game when ever I get the option I always want to be a girl in games and irl I want to give cross dressing and best way I can describe it is the femboy treatment like shaving my arms and legs and stuff and wanting to be dressed up girly but the thing is I both do want to try ot but also sometimes I dont sometimes it feels like i do want to be a bit girly but also sometimes I dont like for example even though im a guy I dont really care what pronouns you use im fine with being called a giy or being called a girl im fine with both and when ever someone trys to insult me by calling me a girl I actually feel a bit flattered or happy I guess because id be fine with being a girl girls are pretty so Im fine with being called a girl but I also dont want to its like my mind cant decide like sometimes I do feel like it sometimes I dont I know that I dont plan to like transition but I dont know if I actually really truly fully feel like a guy though but I also dont feel like a girl all the way either im just not sure how ow what it is that I am I dont know what I am am I or am I not I dont know I cant understand this

I've always felt very androgynous and I started questioning my gender at 12.

Sometimes, for a few weeks or months I get the urge to become a guy, and that is all that's in my head. I start feeling extremely dysphoric and it makes it difficult for me to do basic things like eat or go outside. I wanna be a feminine guy, an androgynous guy sure, but a guy.

I don't normally feel like a guy or a girl though, I always feel like I'm in the middle. I thought about transitioning a lot, but I'm scared I will feel dysphoric in the other way, if that makes sense.

The only thing that I'm almost sure I want is top surgery, because my chest is what I'm most dysphoric about and I think it wouldn't bother me if I didn't have it even if I felt more feminine.

At the same time, I kinda feel like I'm going crazy? Like, maybe there's another reason why I feel this way and I'm making it all worse by thinking I would be happier if I transitioned "just a bit". Maybe I'm not really trans? I don't feel this dysphoric most of the time.

And whenever I use masculine pronouns I feel like I'm lying. I would really love to be masculine enough that I don't feel like a fraud when I use them. I wish I was androgynous enough that I could convince people I'm just a really feminine guy. Am I crazy?

I talked about this to my mom and she implied I'm mentally ill(?) and my dad doesn't believe me and refused to use masculine pronouns because I'm "too feminine".

My therapist says the way I feel is kinda normal but I still don't know if she will ever give me a dysphoria diagnosis.

I am Recipromantic and pan but i sometimes really want romance like cupiomantic but some times am aromantic and sometimes like i might want romance or not I need to find a label for this thanks :3

Hi,
I am AFAB and have identified as a female but I wouldn’t say I am particularly attached to the title of this gender identify.
It’s not something I’ve thought about a lot because I don’t experience gender dysphoria (at least as I’ve understood it through media) but I’ve recently identified a yearning to be a gay man
I’ve known I was queer / attracted to women pretty much all my life and have actually questioned if I’m attracted to men at all (not sure where I’ve landed on it). For context I’ve had limited sexual experience with women and a decent amount with men.
I don’t know how to describe the feeling and it seems almost at odds with with what I thought I knew about myself and is honestly really hard to articulate. I don’t know if it’s because of the queer media I consume (a lot of gay men as is most of queer media in my experience) or if there’s something I need to dig deeper in myself but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar?
Ps sorry if this is not worded correctly im honestly just confused
TLDR I randomly wish vehemently I was a gay man as someone who currently identifies as a queer woman (maybe lesbian)

All my romantic experiences were with men. My first kiss was with a man but I didn’t feel anything. I don’t know if it’s because of him or his gender. I’ve always thought about like lesbians, but never labeled myself as liking girls. I’ve thought about my friend in that way but i don’t know if i like her emotionally. But id always think about her in a sense that i always wanted to be close to her and physically touch her and sometimes about kissing her. Sometime id watch shows solely for the fact there was wlw. But i dont think i see myself ever marrying a girl, but i wouldn’t be opposed to a relationship with them.

im so confused honestly.

Hi!!! I've begun questioning stuff recently and wanted an outside perspective. I've identified as bi for years (Currently 18, college student, identified with bi since middle school, I think? \[Lowkey cant remember, it's been a while\]). Ngl, i chose bi out of convenience. When I say "chose" and "out of convenience", I mean that, I felt things for certain women physically, but not romance as far as I knew then, so I kinda just went with bi because it was easier than actually questioning/evaluating how I felt. Like i just went "oh, im bi" and kinda kept it in a safe/box and havent thought of it till very recently.

So. I havent really dated many women. And the times I have, we either weren't compatible or I never liked them. But what makes this complicated, is I've done that with men too. I remember dating a guy for 6 months because "we liked the same media/shows etc and the "oh well, I kinda have to stay now he knows to much/we've been together this long" trap (Damn I was stupid at 16). And this guy was a jerk. He was quite emotionally immature/bordering emotionally abusive?? It was a lot for me. I got bullied a lot for choosing to break up with him to. I didnt date for 2 years after that. Until recent because idk. Felt like it. More recently, I was in this back and forth with a guy for nine months... crushing or being obsessive idk... and then we dated for 3 weeks. Couldn't do it. He started grossing me out. He was nice and did NOTHING wrong, I just couldnt man idk.. and for whatever reason, I couldnt eat/sleep/drink water/care for myself. He is nice, I still think about him so much, ive known him a long while, I quite liked aspects about him. But ngl, didn't find him attractive physically much if at all. Anywaus, It just made me anxious I guess? Like idk, I felt trapped. I feel like that when I date constantly, but especially with men. With women I do okay. What's so weird is, he made me laugh and blush, i liked that I could laugh with him. I also lowkey liked how funny i was 💀. Like idk, I just felt like talking and joking around a lot with him and nothing else. We didnt have the same futures in mind, so it kinda worked out when we broke up anyway.

So, the few experiences I have had with women was online dating.

\- One woman, we went out on a date and talked for 3 months. we were just incompatible, she did things that i could not stick around for.

\- The second woman, her and me talked. I did like her physically and liked her personality, she ghosted me (SHE LIKED MY PROFILE BTW >:/). I still think about her, a lot. We could've been good... maybe. I just liked her muscle and her face, and her confidence. Idk, something about her just made me want her in my life. But I was afraid of her too?? Like i would get shaky and feel sick.

Besides that, I dont know if i've ever had a crush on women??? Except once??? Maybe??? Which is a close friend. I can never share it with her. But it's like, I want her. Idk. Maybe im just a possessive person? But, I remember when her and her ex boyfriend were dating I was extremely jealous because "why is she spending time with some ugly guy who is a bum? She knows he's a bum. They should break up. I want to break them up for her. I want her. I want to be as cool as her. I want to be with her constantly again. I want her forever. I wish i was her. I wish i was as strong as her". Like holy jealous and possessive, I can tell that is NOT healthy. I kind of get like this with people in my life before I kinda pick a new person?? It's a constant for me ig. If it's not her, it's my ex, if it's not my ex, it's another friend (then another and another and another), eventually I do focus on me, but not usually. Like rn, I lowkey been spending too much money on a friend).

\[Mb this gets a bit nsfw\].

\--- I think what's also weird is, I dont feel sexual attraction (maybe). Idk. Like i dont think I could do it with someone, man or woman. Like... bruh... have you seen a man's "bits". i cant do it... no one can make me. Like EW. Also the risk??? Nahhhh. The reward??? None. With that guy I dated for 3 weeks, i lowkey did start to picture things. However, in real life, i could/would never, because people are gross. Men are gross (maybe it's just the men i choose to date). But i know i would like to be touched on the cheek, held, hugged, and cuddled with, but idk if i could do the do... like that's gross... but i did like him, i know that, we just werent compatible in futures and i had a problem with being vulnerable/being touched (ironically). It would make me stiff and feel sick.

\--- With women, i think i could deal, cuz like... fingers. So i wouldnt have to look at me or the person. i feel like deep inside, i can tell i would feel too exposed to want to do it. Like maybe if we knew each other for years? But they'd also have to smell nice (this is important for both but especially for men since some men smell rank :0 ). Also, I would like to make out with a woman but idk if I'd feel anything? Not because I dont like women, but because I think I analyze how I feel too much? I remember with the guy I felt nothing for, I kissed him, and after, i analyzed so hard on what I felt. The woman I went out on a date with/3 months woman, she held me and kissed my hand. All I've wanted was to be held and kissed, i didnt feel it. Not because it wasnt good, but because maybe I needed to know her??? Cuz it had been out first date in 3 months of talking.

\--- But with a close friend of mine, who is strictly straight, as a joke, she would (without telling me) touch me on my inner or outer thigh and glide it up and down me. After the first time it happened, cuz i looked uncomfortable (only because i didnt know, if she told me i wouldnt have minded), she would breifly motion and i would nod, and she would do it. I never told her cuz then it wouldve been weird, but i wanted her to keep doing that to me, i still want her to now. But it's been a yr since that joke. Then again, i wouldnt mind anyone as long as i knew them for a long time. i love her so much (not related to that and not in a romantic way, like im very sure). She is just someone i know and love deeply, like family, but i feel like that's not the way i wanna word that, especially with what i said a moment ago... if i could, I would gladly live with her for a long time. Idk about forever, but a long time. But I also imagine living alone with cats forever.

\---Anyways, I swear I like women... granted I dont know if fiction can equate to real life because fiction is fiction. But seeing a certain type of woman irl and in fiction has made me feel stuff. Im aware that im probably likely weird, but whatever, this is a throwaway for me to ask stupid things.

Sorry for the long post, i just want to know what's wrong with me. I think what doesnt help is i like in the deep south and have parents who have told me for yrs that what i felt isn't real 🤤💔. So i have no one to talk to about it except 2 queer ppl, but I feel like i cant tell them. Also cuz at the end of the day, I cant depend on others to tell me what I am in a way yknow? But I truly dont know where to begin or start. Am I secretly a lesbian (doubt it idk)? Am I just having comphet or smth similar to it? Or am I just crazy/overanalyzing/disgusting?

I'm a cis guy and I'm 15. I have always been comfortable being a guy, including all the anatomy and social aspects. However, for a few years now, I’ve been curious about what it would be like to be a girl. I thought it was normal to ask that sometimes, but apparently most cis people don't think about it very much (ranging from never to only once or twice).

I think about it quite often, but I see it more as curiosity than a desire, something like ¨It would be cute to be a girl¨ or ¨What would my life be like if I had been born a girl?¨ . Since I think about this from time to time (not daily but sometimes), I’ve started having some doubts. As I said, I've always been comfortable with my body and with being a guy overall, but the curiosity persists.

Things I find interesting (or that I have curiosity) about being a girl:

• Anatomy (excluding periods)
• Hairstyles
• Clothing and fashion
• Aesthetics/looks
• Social interactions (I have always mostly preferred interactions between girls, as they feel more open and less ¨rude¨ than those with guys. I often enjoy more talking with girls and being with girls but not always)

I think (and hope) I'll eventually figure it out, but I also want the opinion of experienced people. So, is it just curiosity?

I (F) am having a bit of trouble figuring myself out. I can pull both male and female outfits off but feel like the opposite gender. Or I feel like I have no gender at all sometimes. I honestly feel like I'm between Nonbinary or Genderfluid, but other people might not say so. I'm at that point in the school year that almost everybody has their gender/sexuality figured out. But I cannot figure it out. I feel like a mess trying to figure myself out, but my aunt says I still have time. Even though I feel like I don't have that much time. I know my explanation doesn't sound great but I'm trying.

Im REALLY questioning if I’m bi, or I just am like thinking things so please help 💔 (I’m in highschool btw) so anyways, I’ve really only had crushes on guys, and been only attracted to guys (I’m female) but recently I’ve had a crush on my female friend, and I’ve imagined Making out with her n stuff, and I’ve kinda found women attractive before, but never really checked them out like I would a guy. And I’ve considered dating a girl if I liked one, but it feels wrong for me SPECIFICALLY to date a girl (I have MANY gay friends) and idk it feels weird to say I’m bi or pan and I feel like I’m lying to myself if I say I would date or like girls. idk guys I need advice. also I feel I should ad that I don’t really like women’s faces like I like men’s, idk it’s weird ;-;
Also it feels wrong for me to say I’m bi n stuff, like I’m fine with other people but if I were to date a girl idk I’d just feel wrong about it
[F 15/16]