I wish that I could just die without experiencing any pain if that's even possible. The pain scares me.

I wanted to kill myself, I couldn't make friends, I couldn't do anything right, I couldn't do anything right, so I just consume porn and I wanted to fucking masturbate and grab a gun while I'm at it.

I was laughed at for having interests that were different from the other girls in the past and going back, I still cant imagine the stuff they did, they push my table, pull my chair off and my teacher didn't do shit, they just said "you're being sensitive they just wanted friends"

WELL IF THEY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS THEY COULD HAVE JUST TALKED TO ME AND THE BULLYING GOT WORSE, they purposefully stole my stuff. I fucking hate everything about me, I get made fun of for being big chested and I get thrown stuff. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

But my dad... And my family, I simply couldn't leave them or else I would be considered selfish. Either I'll give this life multiple chances or die as a dirty sinner.

I’m really not, and never was, interested in living. I’m not interested in anything, not in achieving anything, working, or participating in life. I’m mentally disabled, and I hate existence and how fucked up and mysterious it is to even be here, yet people seem to go about their lives normally, as if being here is just a normal thing. Even if I had all the materialistic shit in the world, I wouldn’t be happy because my problem is with existence itself and the fact that, to end it, you have to experience physical pain. Like, fuck this.

I actually want to kill myself. I can’t take this. I feel so gross and like I’m committing something taboo when it comes to naturally to me. I’ve been taught that my only worth is pleasing men, so why do I want women? I’ve been taught that I’ll just be a man’s girlfriend at the end of the day. But I feel so free with women, I feel like I truly can feel love and be myself. I really wish I wasn’t a lesbian. I fucking hate myself

Finding out I’m a lesbian has been so traumatizing.

After failing to kms so many times in the past, I'm so tired. I just wish I could die in my sleep.

i’m 21 and i’ve been depressed since i was around 11. i’ve been a NEET for 3 years. ive gone through years of therapy, been to the psych ward, been to a residential treatment facility, and none of it has really worked. i just don’t see a future for myself. i don’t like living. and due to insurance changes i won’t be able to continue therapy soon. ive been extremely depressed recently and ive been thinking through my options. it finally occurred to me i can walk to a store locally that sells box cutters and rope. stupid, i know. but i haven’t been this desperate before. i feel relieved but also scared. i don’t want it to hurt but i know it will.

Ever since Covid I have not been the same I’m in my 30s and moved back home to try and start my own company and really make a go at following my heart. I’ve worked in customer service my entire life and tried to change my situation so many times but could never get ahead. The worst part is I never made time to find someone and the older I got the harder it has become. So now I’m sitting on my couch in my child hood bedroom thinking about RJ Mitte and how I feel completely alone. All my friends don’t reach out and they never really did and even my own brother everyone is busy with their lives.

Now that I am back home it really put everything into perspective and I found myself creating again but with a different channel. I’ve built a company and I’m finally seeing some success but also it’s shown me those that never actually cared about me on a deeper level. I’ve always liked computers and music and something told me to leave it all behind and pursue this dream. At the same time I’ve never felt more alone and isolated now that I am back in my childhood room. I wish I knew why I feel this pain this extreme anger and sadness.

I guess I’ve realized that RJ Mitte he reminds me of myself and it breaks my heart because this world really is evil and something is wrong with how people are to each other now. We pretend like it’s ok but the truth is people are struggling and I can remember life before iPhones and this massive shift. It truly feels like those that are awake realize that collectively humanity has sold themselves to fulfill a void with technology. Nothing feels real anymore.

my birthday is coming soon I can't wait. I'm gonna be free 🎊🎉

CONTENT WARNING: suicide ideation, hopelessness and loads of negativity. Sorry gang 💔💔

Before we continue: no I don’t have plans to hurt myself. Sure ideation exists, but I that doesn’t mean imma act on it. Let a girl have her 1/4 life crisis 🙏🙏 (cant say midlife crisis bc im not even there yet lmao)

TL;DR: Life doesn’t appeal to me or seem worth it. I’m not doing anything that would improve my life because I’ll just off myself at some point because I can’t stand the idea continuing this life and growing old.

I (F22) am waking up 5 days of the week and putting 40 hours into a job I LOATHEEE. Hate the company and the people I work with. But everyone does that so I know that’s nothing special. I still live with my parents and I’m saving money. For what? Nothing in particular. My life is technically good. I mean- when considering other people’s lives, yeah I’d say I live a very privileged life. But I’m not happy. At all. Some would even describe me as miserable. Can’t say I’m happy to be awake or living.

I have no idea what I want to with my life. I should look for meaning, a purpose or something. But honestly.. life just doesn’t appeal to me.
- People, especially those with college degrees, are having trouble landing a good paying job

- Housing and renting are ridiculous expensive

- Generative A.I is rapidly expanding and data centers are being built

- The Earth is slowly dying, and the data centers are definitely not helping

- There’s a literacy crisis happening in the US (unless smth changes, the future generation is cooked)

- The US government is becoming unapologetically facist

- Multiple genocides that have been happening for DECADES

There’s a alot of shit in this world. But there are also some good things in life. Ig I’m choosing to see my cup as half empty. I shouldn’t hyper focus on the bad stuff, but I can’t just pretend that life is not heading towards are dark path and everything will be alright. I don’t think I was built for living or being human ngl 🤷‍♀️

I think the reason why I don’t try to get help or make any attempts to improve my life is because a part of me has accepted I’ll just kill myself eventually. I have no intentions of living past 35 or reaching middle age soo… yea I have that going for me. I can’t stand the idea of watching my body and mind deteriorate and having to be a burden on my family and friends. I REALLY hate the idea of growing old.

I also have no intentions of find a partner or having children. None of those things appeal to me as someone who enjoys my solitude. Unlike many, I can’t use that as a reason to keep going. The thought being a grandma?? NO THANKS.

Ig you can say I’ve given up on myself and use excuses that allow me to sink further into my misery. Ain’t nothing like self sabotage amirite?? 🤣🤣

So yea gang idk what to do from here 🤷‍♀️ kinda stick in limbo. It’s either I subject myself to this bleak existence or have the guts to off myself. But I can’t do that to my family so errrmmm. Yeah. Can’t subject them to more trauma.

I failed in this life and I’m sorry to my parents who brought a pathetic excuse of a human into existence.

I've been suffering with agonising pain/discomfort in my esophagus/chest for almost two years now. Every day I wake up to the pain, and it's been whittling me down day by day. I have a condition called EoE. It's awful that this is the sole reason I want to kill myself. Because I would really love to keep living, but it's just too much torture for me to go on like this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I'm in college for computer science and I hate it. I hate it. I've always wanted to do something like art or maybe learn something like geology. But no , my parents just had to put me in a college for Computer Science. I hate the toxic culture surrounding software engineering. Its a never ending rat race and with AI everything just becomes worse. I don't want to sell my soul and do this for the rest of my life. Sometimes I just cant bear to sit in the classroom. Sometimes I just want to die. Especially where I live, following your dreams is just not really an option. The world is getting worse, society is getting worse,there is war and suffering and the people in power are fine with that ,climate change is getting worse , and we're all just expected to be fine with this and just go on spending 8 hours a day working a job and then sleep , work and sleep, work and sleep and then die? Why can't I just skip that and die already ? What is wrong with me?Why can't I live like everyone else and be fine with it? Other people can do this, why do I find it so hard? My country is not great for people like me (I'm queer and female)and I want to leave to a better place , but wait other countries don't want us to coming there , doens't matter if we try really hard and go through a humiliating visa approval process , doens't matter cuz we were born in a place they don't like. I hate this. I hate everything. I wish I was never born. I don't know if I'll graduate. I don't know if I can handle living and function for that long. I wish I was never born. Why did I have to be born?! My parents don't even love me. They never wanted children, why did they still have me just to give me a miserable childhood?! My only comfort are my few friends who I do love very much, and the little moments I can find of joy but ..it all feels so hollow. It's all so hollow. Sometimes when I walk to class I think that I might fall over any moment. And lie there and wait for a car to run me over. I'm tired. The world sucks, it has always sucked, it will continue to suck and I'm tired.

Everyone and everything is insane. All of life is a bunch of lies and suffering. I dont understand how this is the reality we ended up with. There is no words to describe it. I dont know how I didnt do it earlier. This society is unlivable

I know thats vague as fuck but thats it. I aint got more to say

I'm 23 years old with Depression, Autism, and psychosis. For years I've been alone with no help physically, mentally and emotionally. I lost the only people in my family who care about me and the rest of the world is starting to go to hell, right when I accepted who I was. No friends, no family, no one to love. Only the voices in my head care about me: Only I want it to be real people and not voices initiated by my loneliness. To be honest, I was never supposed to live as long as I have due to me being a mistake from birth since my mother abandoned and even tried to kill me, causing my disabilities. Why? I've been trying to be as normal so people would take me seriously. I only ever asked for one thing: To have someone who cares about me even though i'm not "Normal" to society. I'm not fully depressed, but this world sucks and i want to get out of this one if it means I can escape this world that punishes you for being so "different". I was hoping to get married and have kids one day so they could have the life I wanted before all this, but I guess not. I'm sorry for having being born.

I intentionally through my life away after having it all. Because I was miserable having it all so I was like what’s the point. Now that life’s even harder for me with a felony and I’ve done a lot research on it, I’m contemplating jumping to my death. Not because it’s the easy way out necessarily but because all I want it peace. I’m sick of this rat race, I’m sick of this country, I’m sick of not being good enough because I was dealt a shitty hand in life. I’m sick of seeing everyone have it so much easier. I know that struggling supposedly builds character but I just don’t have the guts to keep going. After 25 years of just existing I’m just over it. I don’t want to survive for another 50/60 years. I just want peace. If I get peace fantastic if I get a different life it’s got to be easier than this. I just feel done. Does anyone have any evidence of what happens in the after life? Would it hurt if I jumped? Would I feel it even a little bit or would I just be out like a light? Would I get a life review and a chance to see how life would’ve turned out if I stayed? If I’m suffering in this life, and say lack empathy for others, would I have empathy and love in the next life or at least be supplied with the tools I need to succeed in the next life? Even if I were to repeat this type of life again, I at least would hope in the next life to be equipped with the right tools to succeed, like loving parents for starters. You can only handle so much beating down before it gets too much. I’m in the process of writing my will and leaving my money and such to my best friend but I know that once I physically the will that’ll give me the license to die. But I just want to be prepared first. Thoughts?

I hate living. The world sucks. My body sucks. I suck. I want to die.

I’m 34 and I’ve seen what life has to offer and it sucks. I’ll never be financially stable. I’ll always be dirt poor because I’m too sick to work and don’t come from money. I’ve been isolated for years since I left my ex. I live alone and every day is just a new crisis. I had to basically beg my power company to not shut off my utilities the other day because I was reading the bills wrong and I didn’t realize I owed so much money. I just don’t have the bandwidth to keep worrying about these constant crises. Like what am I even doing it for exactly? just so I can continue to suffer?

They say get help, and I am. I’m in an intensive outpatient treatment program right now with regular therapy, etc. I’ve been dealing with treatment resistant depression since I was twelve. Even if I did become financially stable, I would still be suffering with my disease.

Sometimes I don’t even feel real. Like today I tried to reason it away and say it’s because of the gloomy weather or not having the best sleep last night, but honestly, I’m just tired. I’m tired of the stigma that comes with being mentally ill. It’s honestly embarrassing enough to make you want to end it.

Yes, a lot of people are extremely kind to me and are trying to support me. I know I am not alone. But that does not cure the disease.

I want it to be over.
I want to be free.

I'm too tired and empty

I had to surrender my cats last month and I’ve been devastated ever since. The last time I committed they were the reason the I decided not to commit again, but now what’s the point?

I just want to commit suicide. So badly.

I’m just a waste of oxygen, waste of space, waste of human resources even.

If that wasn’t true then my parents would’ve cared when raising me. Now as an adult everything is somehow worser than what I thought it could get. Im lonely, I have nobody to talk to, I can’t get a boyfriend (as a non binary person), to save my own life, everybody wants me DEAD.

I so badly want to just kill myself, but cutting keeps me company. Cutting lets me feels when I used to feel; joy, peace, a physical presence of something being present, instead of the hollowness of my pathetic existence.

Nobody who cares exists. They all disappear and won’t want to be around people like us because we’re dehumanized all the time. Nobody has ever cared about what ive been through as an abused person.

I think I might end it soon. Might just walk out into traffic or something. My mom has told me twice that she doesn’t care about me anymore. She threatened to punch me in the face today and the other day she threatened to shoot me in the head. I just don’t see the point anymore. My own mother hates me. It’s devastating.

Hello, I am a person living in North Africa, specifically in Algeria. I was born into a conservative Islamic family and I am 19 years old. I suffer from very difficult social and personal circumstances. Living in a conservative Muslim society, while I am essentially a non-religious person, poses a arduous challenge for me.

No one knows that I am not a Muslim, and if I were to reveal that, I might face abandonment or threats, which could even reach the point of murder by my family or people neighboring me. Living with them means adhering to their Islamic rules, such as talking to girls or going out with them being portrayed as a sin or disgrace in my society. In addition, I am forced to go to the mosque and pray despite myself... Furthermore, I am poor and do not have a job despite my severe need for money in my university studies. I suffer from symptoms of severe depression and loss of passion, in addition to being afflicted with extreme obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). I can no longer tolerate it, I want suicide, I did not choose to live like this, I just wanted to live as a human being.

i have no one to talk to ab this, im too scared of life and i feel so lonely it's killing me. i can't stand my abusive parents anymore, even hearing them breathe makes me frustrated.

i feel so numb after my two attempts that i can't even work on my plan to move out. i think that im making everyone's life hard and i believe with me dead everything will be easier.

i haven't been able to eat nor sleep, every time i close my eyes i hear an annoying voice telling me to kill myself and how the four people who i actually love hate me and r struggling because im still alive.

i tried therapy a few years ago and was told to just kill myself because no one cares and it'd take everyone max 1 month to completely forget ab me.

i don't know how to snap out of this and work on moving out, i don't wanna take my time either because i already feel like a loser and like im stuck here with my abusive parents.

Ich suche jemand wo mich schnell ins Jenseits befördert.

Will einfach nicht mehr.

Geld ist kein Problem. Vielleicht kommt jemand aus Deutschland.