I don't know why I am writing this and what I hope for just a vent i guess.

I am trans (MtF) i have known for years realised it as a teen. I had such big chances of looking good but I was too scared and never dared to transition. I knew while this fucking body was going through puberty, it felt like rape. It destroyed me bit by bit from day to day. Crying myself to sleep is pretty much normal for me nowadays.

Now it is too late if I would transition now and accept that i am never going to get accepted in my family etc, I would do all this just to look like an abomination of a man with a dress and lipstick. I know there are beautiful trans women but most of them transitioned before/during puberty. I will say there are exceptions but "Oh I transitioned at 31 and i am still happy" - sorry you will never pass (please don't feel offended.

I never understood why god would do me dirty like that giving me this body, I cannot even look in the mirror most of the time. Showering always is a pain I hate looking at this naked body. I cry allot during showers because of this, there has been instances where I have literally throwen up because of how disgusted I am.

I already had a long story of mental illness and suicidal thoughts through my teenage years. It scared me (literally and metaphorically)

My bestie who i confessed all of this too just last week after years of lying badly wants me to seek out a therapist. I know you will say it is the right choice but i do not wanna be talked into transition. I would and will rather die than live like this unaccepted and ugly.

I don't wanna be a trans woman it could never fill the void in my heart i felt since I was 6. The only thing that could ever make me happy is waking up as a real woman.

I hate that I told my bestie, she has been crying allot, I wanted to keep her out of this.

Would have turned 20 next year but why would I choose a life that could never satisfy me and be miserable when I die in the end anyway? I don't think there is anything after dying so it will just be over, nothing to regret etc

Sorry for the long post,

I guess I wanted to ask how can I make sure my friend doesn't feel guilty i want her to life a long and beautiful life she is literally everything I have?

I actually want to kill myself. I can’t take this. I feel so gross and like I’m committing something taboo when it comes to naturally to me. I’ve been taught that my only worth is pleasing men, so why do I want women? I’ve been taught that I’ll just be a man’s girlfriend at the end of the day. But I feel so free with women, I feel like I truly can feel love and be myself. I really wish I wasn’t a lesbian. I fucking hate myself

Finding out I’m a lesbian has been so traumatizing.

I'm 25, in the final year of my BA History degree, and honestly, I'm not doing well at all.
My parents' marriage is falling apart. My dad has been staying at his office for days at a time, and my family is financially dependent on him. My relationship with both my parents is deteriorating, and I don't have a particularly supportive extended family to fall back on.
College hasn't helped either. Most of my lectures are online, the teaching is mediocre, and I barely interact with my classmates or professors. I'm approaching graduation without a clear career plan, and I don't want to spend more years collecting degrees just to end up unemployed or stuck in a career I hate. My dad wants me to work in his business, but I don't think I can live up to his expectations or ever stop being compared to him.
I barely go out anymore. I don't have many friends, I feel increasingly disconnected from people, and I hate how expensive, polluted and exhausting everyday life here feels. The constant pressure to earn, compete, marry and conform makes me feel even more alienated. I don't want the conventional life people keep telling me I should want, but I have no idea what an alternative would realistically look like.
The worst part is that this has gone beyond ordinary career confusion. I've been struggling with thoughts about not wanting to be alive, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to see a future I actually want to be part of. I'm not looking for a debate about nihilism or a lecture about how life is beautiful. I'm exhausted, angry, isolated and genuinely struggling.
I don't even know what I'm expecting from posting this. Maybe I just need to say this somewhere without pretending I'm okay. If you've been in a similarly dark place, especially in India, how did you deal with it? What actually helped, beyond generic advice to stay positive, work harder or get married and settle down?
This keeps the seriousness of what you've told me without turning your suffering into a performance. It also gives readers a way to respond with something more useful than arguing about whether life has meaning.

I'm currently sitting in my bathtub full of warm water. I'm looking up if my ex girlfriends meds can overdose me. They can but it's not likely. I've got my razor on the side of the tub. I'm smoking so much weed to numb myself. But I keep thinking about what the fuck I'm doing.

I'm 21M. I moved to utah to be with my ex. But I recently found out she was cheating on me. My entire family hates me. She made sure of that. Andi have no one. And nowhere to go.

I think this is the time I really do it. I don't have any other choice.

But I wanna go out at least with someone knowing I exist.

I guess this is a cry for someone to talk to? I don't know.

How do you pray to a god you don't believe in? How do you ask for help without deserving it?

When you can't sleep you can't dream. And when you can't dream what does life mean?

I need someone to talk to because I gently because I might end myself before I get to go on this date with someone I really like. I’m scared of my
Health and my depression and scared of
Rejection.

I have written my note and prepared my date. My only concern is my dog depends on me during certain hours prior to my partner coming home to help alleviate me

I know once I do it the dog will be alone but can I prevent the dog from being distressed prior my partner finding me?

I’m young, attractive, successful, have great family and great friends, lot of people that care about me, had travelled and lived lot of great experiences, and still feel so sad and empty. i don’t think i’ve ever been happy, I was about to try to kms when I was 13yo, but my parents found my notes and didn’t allow it to happen. Now I’m 26 and still feel as sad as when I was 13. I can notice my privilege and that makes it even sadder, I have everything I could ever asked for, i’ve tried changing my lifestyle, going to therapy, taking antidepressants and more stuff, but still feel so sad and so bad. I really don’t want to continue, I don’t see any reason and there’s no hope for my mood to improve, and honestly, I just gave up, I don’t even want to get better, I just want to die.

Years ago, I got the courage to tell my mother that I wanted to hurt myself after my grandmother died and I felt my world crumble into pieces. I will never forget what she said.

“Are you sure you aren’t doing it for attention?”

Now as I feel hopeless and better off dead, I can’t tell her. Because there are other things going on around me and I can’t bear to hear those words again. I never want her to think I’m doing it for attention because something bad happened. So I can’t tell her a thing.

I think I’ll just call the hotline when I’m home alone.

I won't allow myself to survive another day.

I used to have a lot of dreams: founding my own business, becoming a professional horse rider. I used to truly believe in them, until last year. Then it all crushed down. I can’t achieve any of that because I wasn’t born into money, and it looks like I’m not able to earn any.

I’m 31 years old and I’ve got bullied in every workplace I got. The last one almost drove me to end my life, and I even told HR about that, so they offered me to exit with right to unemployment benefits. So now I’m jobless, but still receive something to cover my needs. Anyway, this will end in May, and I’m nowhere near getting a new job.

I have a Master education, years of experience, I speak 4 languages but it’s just not enough. Nobody hires me. And maybe I don’t even want to be hired: I’d just start again the cycle of sacrificing myself +8 hours a day for a salary which will not get me to live my dreams.

I really don’t wanna give up on life but it seems that, no matters how much I want to see the beauty of it, in the end it’s only a race to make money. If you don’t know how to make them, you can’t live.

As titled said

I'm 23, juggling a part-time job that's crushing me, a master's degree and stressed induced anorexia... My husband can't stand it anymore and asked to take a break from our relationship until I get better

How the fuck am I supposed to do that, exactly ?? Idk how to keep going at this point.

It’s killing me

I’m 34 and I’ve seen what life has to offer and it sucks. I’ll never be financially stable. I’ll always be dirt poor because I’m too sick to work and don’t come from money. I’ve been isolated for years since I left my ex. I live alone and every day is just a new crisis. I had to basically beg my power company to not shut off my utilities the other day because I was reading the bills wrong and I didn’t realize I owed so much money. I just don’t have the bandwidth to keep worrying about these constant crises. Like what am I even doing it for exactly? just so I can continue to suffer?

They say get help, and I am. I’m in an intensive outpatient treatment program right now with regular therapy, etc. I’ve been dealing with treatment resistant depression since I was twelve. Even if I did become financially stable, I would still be suffering with my disease.

Sometimes I don’t even feel real. Like today I tried to reason it away and say it’s because of the gloomy weather or not having the best sleep last night, but honestly, I’m just tired. I’m tired of the stigma that comes with being mentally ill. It’s honestly embarrassing enough to make you want to end it.

Yes, a lot of people are extremely kind to me and are trying to support me. I know I am not alone. But that does not cure the disease.

I want it to be over.
I want to be free.

I will most likely commit at a MINIMUM age of 18 or 20 due to being treated shitty because I'm unattractive. Since I know I will be ending it pretty soon, is there a way to just come to terms with it. And I'm not saying I'm in complete discomfort with the idea.

I'm just saying that I want to find beauty within it. I know the pros of my death out weigh the cons, but yet I'm still just not sure. I know that I have no future outside of ending it all. And I know that even if I did keep living on, I'd make it no where in life.

Any thoughts you guys have to cope/comfort or how do I just understand that my time is coming? I want help so bad. I really don't know how to phrase this question, I hope that my paragraph helps you understand a bit where I'm coming from atleast!

Simple ones that are easy to answer

About me

I want to feel like a person. Not like nothing. Dead or alive? Night or day? Tea or coffee?

i can't stop thinking about killing myself every fucking day and i think that tonight is where i call it. i feel so fucking alone i have friends but then i person i would talk to about this and now i stopped telling her all of it because i didnt want to stress her out and i dont know what to do i want to talk to her about it all but i don't know if its a good idea please help me

Im 18f and I keep putting off killing myself, scared, what if life improves, don’t want people seeing my naked body..
But I’m tired. If I could just stop being such a pussy.
I was first suicidal 9 year ago, when I was 9. And to be honest there isn’t a whole lot of memorable life events I would’ve missed out on of I had killed myself at that age.

Please, Im very scared

I feel so invisible.

People would miss 'me' but not me.

It wouldn't be me.

Just the role they think i should fill.

And im likely failing at that anyway.

But I still know it would be selfish. When i am still able to keep pretending. Reply with empathy. And sort of do what I'm sort of meant to. People won't see anything too wrong because they don't want to.

autism, adhd, bpd, ocd, treatment resistant severe depression, horrible anxiety of multiple kinds, emotional needs not met as a child, sexually harrassed online at 11, emotionally abusive ex, cheated on, raped, dissociation problems, hypersexuality problems, many physical problems, disabled, transgender, queer. like really? why do i have to deal with all of this?? and im expected to just keep living like this?? im expected to live a normal life like this?? its so cruel

im not trying to be like ohh i have it the worst ever at all btw im just complaining about my stupid life

That’s for me at least. Im 21 and have many attempts under my belt. It becomes old news. My most recent I was alone on a medical floor vomiting for days having them shoot burning potassium and nausea medication into my veins. I was alone for most of it. Only got the courage to tell my boyfriend the day after because I had to (he had been visiting me basically daily unless he works really late). I didn’t bother telling my family, they are toxic and unsupportive anyway. Plus why burden them as before when they’ve found out none ever came to visit me. Not that I even expect it anymore.

Only person who has been there every time is my boyfriend. He’s all I need anyway. He said he just needs me to get better. Which I’m working on.

This isn't the life I pictured when I was younger.

Life isn't a fairytale after all. No damsel in distress, no Prince Charming coming to save you. Just you, trying to survive a life you never imagined would turn out this way.

I'm trying to be strong, but my facade is slowly crumbling. I keep asking myself, am I bad? Do I deserve all this? I don't know anymore. I'm barely holding on, and the rope I'm clinging to is slowly breaking.

I don't want to just survive. I want to live, too. But lately, even that feels impossible.

If you're reading this, I hope you're holding on better than I am. And if you're not, I hope we both make it through.

CONTENT WARNING: suicide ideation, hopelessness and loads of negativity. Sorry gang 💔💔

Before we continue: no I don’t have plans to hurt myself. Sure ideation exists, but I that doesn’t mean imma act on it. Let a girl have her 1/4 life crisis 🙏🙏 (cant say midlife crisis bc im not even there yet lmao)

TL;DR: Life doesn’t appeal to me or seem worth it. I’m not doing anything that would improve my life because I’ll just off myself at some point because I can’t stand the idea continuing this life and growing old.

I (F22) am waking up 5 days of the week and putting 40 hours into a job I LOATHEEE. Hate the company and the people I work with. But everyone does that so I know that’s nothing special. I still live with my parents and I’m saving money. For what? Nothing in particular. My life is technically good. I mean- when considering other people’s lives, yeah I’d say I live a very privileged life. But I’m not happy. At all. Some would even describe me as miserable. Can’t say I’m happy to be awake or living.

I have no idea what I want to with my life. I should look for meaning, a purpose or something. But honestly.. life just doesn’t appeal to me.
- People, especially those with college degrees, are having trouble landing a good paying job

- Housing and renting are ridiculous expensive

- Generative A.I is rapidly expanding and data centers are being built

- The Earth is slowly dying, and the data centers are definitely not helping

- There’s a literacy crisis happening in the US (unless smth changes, the future generation is cooked)

- The US government is becoming unapologetically facist

- Multiple genocides that have been happening for DECADES

There’s a alot of shit in this world. But there are also some good things in life. Ig I’m choosing to see my cup as half empty. I shouldn’t hyper focus on the bad stuff, but I can’t just pretend that life is not heading towards are dark path and everything will be alright. I don’t think I was built for living or being human ngl 🤷‍♀️

I think the reason why I don’t try to get help or make any attempts to improve my life is because a part of me has accepted I’ll just kill myself eventually. I have no intentions of living past 35 or reaching middle age soo… yea I have that going for me. I can’t stand the idea of watching my body and mind deteriorate and having to be a burden on my family and friends. I REALLY hate the idea of growing old.

I also have no intentions of find a partner or having children. None of those things appeal to me as someone who enjoys my solitude. Unlike many, I can’t use that as a reason to keep going. The thought being a grandma?? NO THANKS.

Ig you can say I’ve given up on myself and use excuses that allow me to sink further into my misery. Ain’t nothing like self sabotage amirite?? 🤣🤣

So yea gang idk what to do from here 🤷‍♀️ kinda stick in limbo. It’s either I subject myself to this bleak existence or have the guts to off myself. But I can’t do that to my family so errrmmm. Yeah. Can’t subject them to more trauma.

I failed in this life and I’m sorry to my parents who brought a pathetic excuse of a human into existence.

my birthday is coming soon I can't wait. I'm gonna be free 🎊🎉

Hello, I am a person living in North Africa, specifically in Algeria. I was born into a conservative Islamic family and I am 19 years old. I suffer from very difficult social and personal circumstances. Living in a conservative Muslim society, while I am essentially a non-religious person, poses a arduous challenge for me.

No one knows that I am not a Muslim, and if I were to reveal that, I might face abandonment or threats, which could even reach the point of murder by my family or people neighboring me. Living with them means adhering to their Islamic rules, such as talking to girls or going out with them being portrayed as a sin or disgrace in my society. In addition, I am forced to go to the mosque and pray despite myself... Furthermore, I am poor and do not have a job despite my severe need for money in my university studies. I suffer from symptoms of severe depression and loss of passion, in addition to being afflicted with extreme obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). I can no longer tolerate it, I want suicide, I did not choose to live like this, I just wanted to live as a human being.