So im 16 and have been trying to figure out what I am lately so im a lot confused and I was wondering if I just laid out how I feel if anyone could help me figure it out or clear things up for me? Before I start explaining my gender feelings, ive taken quizzes to help me get an idea because I dont know where to start and the ones I got or have seen that best align with me are (bear with me) polygender, alexigender, genderfluid, fluidflux, genderfaer, demigirl, neutrois, girlfluid, and finally gender non conforming girl. I know its a lot and I seem like a dork but im hoping this is a safe space and someone can help me. So its hard to explain how I feel but basically im afab and I feel like if my gender were compartments theres female, male, and nothing and very rarely the absence of any gender at all whatsoever if that makes sense? My whole life ive been more on the masculine side clothing wise, ofc when I was younger I wore skirts and bows and pony tails and the lot of it, but I also wore shorts and most of my friends in elementary were boys and liked all the nasty things a 5 year old boy would which idk if that says anything about me but I thought I should include it. But to get into more detail most of the time I feel like 60% masculine and 30% nothing/null? And 10% feminine, but it always varies because sometimes I just feel like nothing yk? Like just a person and im just here, I dont know if feeling male and masculine are the same thing but id like to think so. I also apologize if this isnt the right subreddit but I figured since all the identities I mentioned are under the trans umbrella which also includes gender fluid I would post it here, also thank you to all who answer and respond to me, if you ask me any questions that could help to narrow me down to a identity I will happily answer because I cant stand trying to figure out what I am. ＼(^^)／

Not really sure why I'm making this but I just feel like I should write it somewhere. I think I'm genderfluid, it feels scary to say and I'm not sure why. I've always struggled to come to terms with my gender, I'm AFAB and very loudly feminist so feeling discontent with the way you're perceived by society is pretty normal. So maybe that's all it is? I just know that sometimes when I see men going about their day to day lives, I feel jealous. But then other times, I love the way people look at me and the compliments when I enter a room presenting very feminine. I'll find myself walking differently based on the clothes I'm wearing, changing my facial expressions too and the way I sit.

My trans friends joke about how they're just waiting for my egg to crack. Could I be latching onto that idea as some way of explaining a part of myself that I don't understand, even if it's not true? I just don't know if this is the product of feeling rejected by society for being a woman, and wanting to take that target off my back. I certainly wouldn't want to not be a woman- but being a man sounds nice. I just need some guidance.

Boys painting their nails is considered gay even though egyptians and many other old kingdoms used makeup, and nail paint to appear more scary in battle, or to show their rank as a royalty. Why did it become a womens thing?

Roman soldiers wore skirt like things, Why are dresses and skirts for women?

Blue was originally for girls in the early 20th century, why did it swap?

Why is cooking considered a womens job but barbecue and grilling considered a dads/mans job/hobby/interest? That's cooking is it not?

ik be myself but i feel not like myself cuz idk how to be myself. weird n complex but i wanna be more feminine leaning if you will but idk what is actually feminine n whats socially seen as feminine. im really masc rn so i wanna try to balance it cuz well i wanna be whatever i am. pls help idk how to deal with this and i dont got anyone irl to speak abt this.

TLDR: I'm a man but my gender itself does not always feel masculinely aligned and sometimes feels neutral or androgynous overall despite still being 100% male.

I've been back and forth between identifying as genderfluid and a binary guy since I started seriously questioning my gender and sexuality.

I am essentially always okay with being seen as a man. I like he/him pronouns more than any other pronouns, heavily prefer masculine honoritics such as sir and mr, and have essentially no desire to ever be seen as a woman and often don't care for being seen as a neutral entity, either.

However, I still feel as though sometimes I want to dress more neutrally or androgynously rather than masculinely. While I do so, I still heavily prefer to be viewed and referred to as a man, however. Additionally, these additional qualities can feel pretty important to my gender feeling as a whole. For example, just man on its own will not feel quite right, and I prefer to call myself a neutral man instead. Like I'm 100% a man still, I just feel like the additional non-masculine part of my gender is still very much important to my identity and how I'm viewed.

Sometimes, I like to dress very traditionally masculine, and other times, it feels incorrect to do so. I think this is part of why the additional gender quality feels so important to name since it leads to dysphoria and euphoria accordingly.

I don't mind if it was referred to as boy+, being 100% a boy while also experiencing other genders. This does not sound like an incorrect description per se. But it's more that the male of my gender feels like it has a different quality.

Is there a label for this experience?

TLDR: Shrooms made me trans.... then cis again? Don't do drugs kids.

BACKGROUND:

Not so quick background, I've been questioning since 2019. As embarrassing as it is to admit, it all started because I was a huge porn addict and stumbled across sissy hypno videos. Yeah I know pathetic, but I feel like I need to be honest here.

Anyways, eventually this evolved from makeshifting women's clothing and wearing it in my alone time to actually buying real women's clothing and makeup. That being said, it was still when I was alone which was rare since I live with my family.

This lasted years. I really only decided to take this trans exploration a little more seriously last year when I took a trip to NYC. Long story short I spent half the time I was there trying my best to pass as a woman in public. Looking back, the outfits were your usual stereotypical shit. Amazon basic skirt type shit but it is what it is.

During the visit I realized I didn't hate having to come back to the hotel and dress as a guy when I needed to, however. So I ended up trying out the genderfluid label in my head. In reality I came back and continued my usual life of repping. Occasionally I did go out in the city 3 hours away from home while dressed. I slowly got better at makeup and dressing up too, to be fair.

PRESENT:

Now we finally reach the current time. I'm in Seattle. I had a week off and everywhere I saw online said this was the place to go out and about with my best efforts to pass as a woman. So dejavu, did last year's vacation again. I managed to make 2 decent outfits that passed enough and explored the city in them.

I had fun. Especially with the second outfit. I felt like I had done the best make up I had ever done and actually felt truly feminine walking around for the first time. It helped that I actually fully committed and shaved my whole body this time. Seeing the pictures I truly couldn't believe it was me type shit. I seriously considered I was actually just trans instead of genderfluid or whatever. Although, the feeling of me being an imposter was slightly there.This was 2 days ago.

Yesterday I decided to go out as a guy. For one I woke up late and wanted to get out of the hotel before 12 (getting ready as a girl takes for fucking ever). I also wanted to give being a guy a final chance, You know really make sure I wanted to give it up.

I went over to the Washington park arboretum, (it's such a beautiful place btw). Some pictures I took honestly look fake. It made me want to come back and explore more of the nature the pacific northwest has to offer.

After a day in nature I came back just as the sun had fully set. I had about 30mg of mushrooms in the form of a chocolate bar I had brought for the trip. I had only really used it for micro dosing most of the nights I was here. So I decided to take it all and actually trip a little since it was my last chill night.

Before I took it I decided to get all dolled up as well. Went all out, shaved again, makeup, even did my nails. I put on some booty shorts and a tank top and took the mushies. Then I started watching the remake of Ranma 1/2 on Netflix since I still hadn't checked it out despite being a fan of the original (really just a walking stereotype over here).

The come up was amazing. I slowly started feeling more and more euphoria from being dressed up the way I was. By the time I hit the peak of the trip I was convinced I was 100% trans more than I had ever been. I started posing in the mirror and taking selfies. I was having so much fun, truly felt like a girl.

Then I was sitting there looking at the selfies and I started to see my male body stand out from underneath the clothes. My broad shoulders, my lean masc build, my muscular legs..... It sounds like I'm bragging here doesn't it. Look I'm not trying to show off, I hike and bike all the time. Body wise I'm actually a decently fit dude. Which is exactly what I started seeing in the pics and I didn't hate it. Surprisingly too since I have all sorts of body issues from being bullied as an overweight kid.

I got up from the couch and took off the make up and the women's clothing. I then put on some boxers and some shorts and stared at myself shirtless. What looked back at me was a reflection that I was happy with for the first time in a while. Before this vacation I had been feeling like I was getting old and ugly, a huge part of that was me turning 28 recently. At that moment though I realized how silly that was.

I sat back down on the couch and really went into my thoughts. The sudden light switch going off in my head tripped me out. One thing was certain though. At that moment I really felt like I could just abandon this little "experiment" of trying to be a girl and just move on with my life.

I honestly have no idea what to make of any of this. Writing all this makes me realize I just sound even more genderfluid than usual. However, overall I woke up feeling this slight positivity. Like I want to actually start working on myself. Start actually trying to express myself and start socializing again like I did as a teen. You know just stop letting life pass me by and live it.

I don't think many people will read this, but I just had to get this out of my mind somehow. Either way I just want to say this vacation was very well needed and I managed to learn a lot about myself. Hopefully tomorrow when I head back I will actually take these lessons back home and apply them in my daily life, not just go back to the usual like always.

I'm going to a halloween party next week and I have no idea what to do for a costume. I'm also kinda broke so it'll be a DIY sort of thing. This is my first time at a Big Party for a while and I won't know most of the people there, so that's its own source of anxiety too lol.
Anyway- usually I don't do much for Halloween, but I wanna look cool and have a good time.
I've been rocking facial hair lately that I might want to keep, but aside from that I'm not sure how I'll want to present gender-wise that night, and not sure which characters or costumes would give me the right amount of flexibility.

My main issue is that when I go too fem for my comfort, especially with overtly feminine makeup, I get fed up with it after a few hours and get self conscious. When I go too masc, I tend to regret not taking the chance and doing more with my look, and it feels a bit like the lazy option.
So I'm thinking, maybe a really androgynous sort of male character would be my best bet?
idk!

Hi, this is a repost from the NonBinaryTalk sub, where i didnt get any answers, so idrk if stuff like this is allowed...

Im AFAB, and while in early stages of childhood, I was fine with overly feminine gender presentation, I've long since pivoted to non-conventional ways of expressing myself

My longest stint has been experimenting with androgyny. I have a pretty youthful (ergo feminine face) so i typically dress in a masculine way to compensate for it.

I thought I didnt mind being a girl, but the joy I feel when someone mistakes me for a boy or say I look like one is different.

Sometimes I feel like i wanna dress masc. Sometimes I wanna dress femme. Most times I wanna serve cunt and keep people guessing.

Unfortunately I live in a place where the distinction between male and female is like night and day, so I only get mistaken if the person isn't fully looking at me or paying attention.

Im not sure if you get, but i dont necessarily wanna be a guy. I also dont necessarily wanna be a "girl" (as in traditional girl). Ive tried thinking of calling myself genderfluid, but i feel like im larping because I call myself a girl and people use she/her for me (because of boobs I wish they were detachable istg)

I dont know if I feel good when im misgendered because I feel masculine at that moment, or because I like the secret pleasure of tricking or deceiving people in a non-malicious way

I think im ranting now, but im just looking for a way to explain what I am. :-P

- ABSTRACT -

I am organizing a Halloween party and I am going to cross dress for the first time in the presence of my long time friends.
I don’t know how to feel about it.

BACKGROUND -

I am 30yo and I’ve always been “soft” since I can remember.
Baby faced, always looked younger, never liked football or physical violence or any of those things that the strongly tox masc environment I grew up in tried to force in me.

Sexually, I have always only been turned on imagining myself in a submissive role with a dominant woman.
Even though I had some relationships, never have I found a woman that wasn’t submissive herself.
Because of this, my 14 years old sexual life has been underwhelming.

CROSSDRESSING -

Two years ago, while my gf was out of town for a month to visit her family, I finally dipped and tried crossdressing mostly as a mean to express myself sexually.
Since then, the thought never faded and just kept growing in me.

I told my girlfriend about one year later, and I have been honest and transparent whenever I decided to crossdress while she was away.
She is not against it, she’s not “supporting” it either as in she doesn’t push or encourage it, though I am aware she would prefer this never existed.

At some point I decided to let my nails grow and paint them, this is the first time I expressed my femininity in a non sexual way.
She’s been supportive about this and eventually I slowly built the confidence to go outside without feeling terribly socially anxious about it. It’s been months now.

HALLOWEEN -

There’s this traditional costume party me and my friends do every year for Halloween, and I’ve been nurturing the thought of finally using it as an excuse to crossdress in the presence of my girlfriend, and friends.

I told her many times I planned to do this, although she always thought it was a joke.
I finally presented her a couple costume idea about dressing up as sun and moon goddesses: I sketched the outfits myself (we enjoy doing creative crafty things together) and she jumped on the idea and we started buying all the clothes and accessories we needed.

WHAT NOW? -

So this is happening, I’m mostly excited but sometimes I have flashes and voices in my head asking me if I really thought it through about doing this in front of my friends.
When I try to rationalize I’m not even sure what to worry about. Most of them are open minded and maybe I find comfort in knowing that only one of them (the closest) knows about my cd habits.

Are they gonna ask why I did it? Should I explain myself? How?

Not sure where I wanted to get with this, but I felt the need to share it and see if anyone could relate or had similar stories to share.

Thanks for reading.

Hello everyone! I kind of just wanted to rant a little and see if anyone else has had similar feelings.

I feel obligated to add AMAB

I’m still in the closet, it sucks, I have next to no time alone because of my wife and housemates always being home. I’ve come out to my wife but she isn’t 100% on board. There is a whole post I can do about my wife’s feelings and opinions on this but I’m working on that with my wife and therapist. But the point is, I have a couple times a month I can truly express myself when I’m feeling feminine. It can be really rough.

I’ve found small subtle ways I can present that makes me feel better but it usually leaves me wanting more. Sometimes I feel extremely dysphoric about how hairy I am and sometimes it makes me panic a little.

But the times I feel masculine I’m like “oh hell yea brother!” And it’s cool!

Then, every now and then I look at myself in the mirror and I think it’s silly that there’s a man looking back at me. It’s like “oh I’m handsome! But that’s not me” and it feels like I’m “cosplaying” a guy. I get this feeling like “well, if I’m gonna be stuck being a guy, at least I’m a handsome guy.” And it feels cool and strange at the same time. I think overall I like it though. lol

Anyone out there relate?

TL;DR instead of getting dysphoria it feels funny that I’m stuck looking like a guy but at least I’m a handsome guy!

I have to get this off my chest. My grandma doesn't really understand genderfluidity and refuses to look up the term, even though I'm too awkward to explain it myself. I have expressed multiple times I don't like my current name and I want to get it changed, but she keeps saying I have to live with it and it's the name she picked out. I respect her choice, but I still hate my deadname.

What's more is that it stems from my parents being who they were. My dad had a Confederate flag over his house and drank a lot, in general not taking care of himself which led to his death, and my mom is such a leech who asks for cigarettes or a ride all the time that she doesn't care about seeing her own children anymore.

I would really like to change my name so I can live as my own person and be remembered not as the product of two deadbeats, but as someone who carved out their own path in life. My grandma isn't too supportive of that and I need to make her understand this is my choice, I'm not backing down on it, and I won't be able to live comfortably unless and until it happens.

So I’m bigender & genderfluid, and I have a very prominent chest (DD, or E cup idk the exact size) and I want a binder that makes them less prominent but you can still tell somethings there (think a B or C cup) because I love being more ambiguous and that’s not possible rn with my chest. So if you have any suggestions on binders that work well for something like this I’d really appreciate any suggestion!!

Hello! I am someone who is wanting to write a gender fluid character as one of the main side characters. But I have no experience, nor anyone in my life to ask about these things.

So, a few questions if you have time to answer! :)

Note: this is a high fantasy story with a younger androgynous elf healer who's still discovering things about their gender as the character. They don't feel as if they properly fall into either category, but have a rather indifferent feeling about being referred to as either gender at any time because they just want to do their job.

What does shifting between genders feel like for you?

Is it slow, instant?

Does it last hours, days?

Is it ever distinctly only feminine or masculine or is it always a combination in some form?

Does your experience with the gender you were assigned at birth differ now that you identify differently? Or (Example) if you were a male at birth, do you still have the same experience when you're feeling more masculine?

What specific situations do you tend to shift to one or the other?

This may be seem like a stereotype, but it's a genuine question to try and learn. Do you shift to a more masculine feeling when you need to be "tougher" or "stronger" in the face of a difficult situation, or do you stick where you are?

How can dysphoria affect day-to-day life?

Anything else you would like to add to the gender fluid experience to be represented properly! I know it's different for everyone, but I don't want to just throw something out blindly with actually hearing people's stories. If anything is wildly off, please feel free to kindly correct me :)

Im like more less 70% sure, idk if it is dysphoria or something, but I just identified that sometimes I dissociate from being a man and kinda start disliking being a man and start wanting to be a woman instead of wishing I was born as a woman, but also there is some times I think I want to stay as a man, sometimes under the thought that I like to have a flat chest and I would actually miss it if I had boobs and no way to go back.

I’m a femboy and I’ve been a femboy since I was 18, I’m 20 now, and dressing feminine kinda helped me realize that I might be some percentage of genderfluid, I grew up as a man, and my problem is that normally I hate masculinity, most men around me are a bunch of assholes, so there comes my other dilemma, I sometimes feel like a boy but want to be feminine, and sometimes I would like to be a girl or maybe think about it, but I never want to be masculine unless I was a masculine girl, but I just don’t like masculinity and it gives me a lot of dysphoria.

Although I’m still kinda learning how to identify my gender identity and try to understand when the changes happen, and I’ve identified signals but I’m still not sure how they work.

Also been wondering if I could maybe do an HRT in the future, not to become a girl but more like look kinda androgynous so it would be easier to pass.

Also I don’t know if it is because of some kind of internalized transphobia I have but I just don’t know how to identify what pronouns I should use or how to tell someone that I want certain pronouns. For now I just conformed to putting in my profiles that my pronouns are he/she or any, so people can just choose, I’ve already saw some people talking to me using she/her pronouns which kinda feels good.

Also I don’t know at what grade of female I reach because I may not identify fully as a girl when it happens but more like a Demigirl, also I noticed that the changes syncronize with my want to dress feminine and like I sometimes feel so good in femboy clothing but sometimes I just don’t want to put them on.

I know that this is long but I kinda wanted to let it all out and like I also wanted to get advice cause I don’t really know much about being genderfluid

I really want to talk to my family & friends about being Genderfluid but I’m terrified.
I’m 97% sure they’ll all be super supportive even if they don’t fully understand it but there’s just that little whisper of worry at the back of my mind.

hi, I'm 22, I'm genderfluid, I've known this since i was 14

I've tried living as a man because i thought it would be easier, but in reality it made me miserable, when i started being openly genderfluid/nb and saying i use all pronouns i made me so much happier

but you can't do that everywhere, my id has a masc name so people just assume I'm a man, I don't like that, even when I'm feeling super masculine inside i just don't like being seen as just a man. but i also can't just go around saying I'm nonbinary, especially living in a super transphobic country

how do you deal with the fact that society is super binary and it makes it difficult to be yourself?

Just as the title says, and I feel great about it.

Hiii, I'm Basil (20GF) and I've been considering for a while to start taking topical minoxidil for a happy trail on my stomach.

A happy trail is what gives me the most confidence and makes me feel most like how I'm supposed to be in my body.

I only want hair concentrated to my stomach, not my chest or anywhere else

I was hoping I could find someone who has or knows someone who has taken it for similar reasons and could tell me any risks, side effects, and hopefully successes.

Like does the hair only stay in the applied spot, or does it spread out from there? I've heard that hair growth from Minoxidil is not permanent for some people, so that's also another question.

Does it affect people around you, and has it ever accidentally gotten on a partner?

My girlfriend is of the intentionally smooth-skinned variety, and I don't want to accidentally mess something up. I guess I'm especially worried about this because I know you're supposed to let it dry anyways, but with it being on my stomach I have concerns.

I'm already aware of the health risks with pets and I've already researched and prepared for that. My roommate owns budgies (parakeets) and I plan to only apply it in my room before bed, and wash it off in the shower the morning after.

it just kinda clicked for me that even after I transitioned, I was still trying to cram and squeeze myself into some kind of box. I believe my internalized misogyny played a pretty large part, but once I saw it I couldn't unsee it and I've been trying my best to reject those views whether they are subconscious or what. I never had to try to erase parts of myself just to try to prove my masculinity or validate my transition to the people in my life. I think I am ready to embrace myself as I am without judgement. I feel free!! Its like it's been forever since I last felt this kind of euphoria. Cheers to healing I think!

I’m a bisexual boy, and think I might be genderfluid.
Attraction is obvious to me bc I feel it in my body since adolescence.
Concerning gender fluidity, the process was a bit longer, today I feel like I notice it in some things, but at the same time I could just be someone with wide taste?

I wanna box and I wanna dance, I love boxers and cheeky briefs. In bed I love being dominant and I love being submissive. I’d like to get my nails done, wear makeup and also strengthen my grip and have callous hands. I like stockings and I like Levi’s 511s.
I like wearing suits and very short shorts. If I wasn’t so tall I think I’d love wearing heels the same way I enjoy wearing work boots.

I guess what I’m asking is, is that enough to define oneself as genderfluid? Is it worth noting that I don’t feel the need to change my body, as I always believed (a belief that only implicates myself) that gender is more about performance than it is about biological differences?

What complicates things for me is that it’s relatively linked to romantic dynamics : i often see the femininity in me from the point of view of an imaginary male romantic partner, same with the masculinity, with a female partner.

Hence my question, is all this supposed to revolve this much around attraction, desire and ultimately sex?
Am I putting myself into boxes based on binary outdated stereotypes?

Well this is it, first post here, please be forgiving if I’m offensive in any way I do not wish to be, but do tell me so I don’t do the same mistake again.
Im kinda lost, so any opinion or advice is welcome, and if you have a similar or wildly different experience I’d be all ears as well.

So, my entire life I haven't really had a chance to think about my sexuality due to how I grew up, and my family made it very clear that they don't accept anything other than the lgb in lgbtq+ but I always assumed myself to be cisgender and straight.

Well, now that I live alone due to moving out for college. I've had a little extra free time to think about myself, and since my junior year of high school I've slowly felt something in me change over time. I'm 18, and just now starting college.

I identify with the sex I was born as, which is male, and I think of myself as a man. But some days I feel like a girl? Which makes me want to dress cute and feminine, but other days I want to appear more like a femboy instead of one or the other.

Anyway, I started watching Ranma1/2 today, and I cane to this conclusion that I would love to have Ranma's curse. Because then I can switch back and forth whenever I felt a certain way. So, I talked to my best friend/brother from another family. He immediately said "THE PIPELINE IS REAL" which caught me off guard because he apparently knew years before I did.

Anyway, I feel more confident in myself on my feminine days, and I kinda like it. So, I've started incorporating feminine clothes into my outfits slowly every day. I have this cute crop top that I like to wear with th a misfits t-shirt. I had another one of my close friends order me a fishnet shirt, which arrives friday, I'm very excited for it.

TLDR; I started thinking about myself on a deeper level and watching Ranma helped me realize more about myself.

Edit: Added my age for better context

I wanna start going by Elliot and when I first heard it out loud from my older sister, it felt so weird. My given name is quite a bit different than Elliot and I HATE change. I'm not sure if it's something with it just not being a right fit or if it's something that might take a bit to feel right. Let me know how changing your name felt at first please!