so as the title says, i think im trans and before you go "but you use different pronouns then she/her" i am still cis, i just dont exactly like she/her but i always thought i felt like a girl but im questioning if i was wrong?? i dont really know how to explain the feeling but whever i think of myself as anything other then a girl it feels the exact same nice feeling as being a girl?? it could just be me being a fictionkin with kins of all different genders but im not in a kinshift rn? so i doubt thats it, please help and give advice or anything!! AHH

I'm 49 and have been crossdressing for as long as I can remember. It started when I was a kid wearing my sisters' clothes, and it's followed me my entire life.

As an adult, I've bought my own clothes and sometimes wear my wife's. I go through cycles of dressing, purging everything, and trying to stop. I'll manage to put it out of my mind for a few weeks, but the urges always come back, often stronger than before.

Lately, I can't stop thinking about crossdressing and fantasizing about being a woman. It's taking up a lot of my time and sometimes interferes with work, since I work from home.

I'm trying to figure out what this all means. Can I actually stop, or am I just fighting something that's always going to be part of me? Does constantly fantasizing about being a woman mean I might be trans, or can it just be a strong desire to crossdress?

Part of me wonders if I should explore these feelings instead of continuing this cycle of dressing and purging. I'm married, 49, and honestly don't know where to go from here.

Has anyone else experienced this, especially later in life? I'd appreciate hearing your experiences and any honest advice. I'm not looking for someone to tell me who I am. I'm just trying to understand myself.