I’ve been desperately searching Reddit for stories from people who’ve been through something similar, so I figured I’d share mine in case it helps someone else. Also, I think I need to get this out of my head because WHAT A WEEK.
I had a missed miscarriage in mid-August. This wasn’t my first loss, and after my previous two miscarriages, I went on to have a successful pregnancy. My doctor confirmed that all the tissue had passed, and honestly, I wanted to wait a few months before trying again.
Fast-forward eight weeks. Still no period. Surprise! A positive pregnancy test. My doctor ordered hCG bloodwork, and last Monday my level was around 3,000. I cautiously thought to myself, okay, this is probably a new pregnancy!
Then Wednesday happened. My hCG dropped to around 2,959.
I immediately assumed it was nonviable. I had the same lab, same technician, same clinic, and roughly the same time of day. Surely this wasn’t a lab error? I figured I was watching another pregnancy end before it had even really begun.
I finally reached my doctor on Friday. She was about to go on vacation, and I knew she was busy, but I was also sitting there trying to process what was happening. My numbers were lower than I expected based on my estimated dates, too.
Then Monday’s blood draw came back at 5,000. Cue the ectopic pregnancy panic. I’d been having cramps and kept checking for bleeding. My regular doctor was on vacation. I called the nurse triage line and left a voicemail. Nothing. Called again the next morning. Nothing all day.
At this point, I was convinced I was walking around with an ectopic pregnancy that could rupture at any moment. I was exhausted, anxious, and trying to function like a normal human being while privately spiraling.
Eventually, after a minor breakdown I sent my provider a somewhat angry message asking someone to PLEASE call me back.
The doc on call finally called around 7 p.m. and arranged another blood draw and an ultrasound for the following day.
By this point, I just wanted it to be over. I had mentally prepared myself for either an ectopic pregnancy or a pregnancy with no heartbeat.
The next morning, I got a call from the office about scheduling. I rearranged my day, got a referral to a different clinic at the hospital, and showed up for my ultrasound. And then they told me it would cost $1,800 with insurance. Cue another breakdown.
Absolutely not. I was not paying $1,800 for an ultrasound. I called my regular doctor's office again, and they managed to reschedule me for this morning.
So today, Friday, I walked into that ultrasound expecting the worst.
Instead, the tech told me the pregnancy was measuring 5 weeks, 6 days, with a heartbeat.
My hCG from Thursday had also come back around 7,000. I genuinely did not know what to do with that information. After spending the entire week mentally preparing for another loss, I was suddenly looking at a pregnancy that was still progressing.
I'm relieved, obviously. But I've had three miscarriages, and the pregnancies I've lost have tended to end around the seven-week mark. I'm not sure how to let myself feel hopeful when I know how quickly things can change.
I'm also seriously questioning whether I should switch doctors' offices. My doctor herself has been wonderful and has been with me through a birth and three miscarriages. I really do trust her. But the communication this week was so frustrating, especially when I was genuinely scared about the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy.
I've barely told anyone in real life what's been going on. I've been exhausted, hormonal, short-tempered, and trying to act normal while carrying around the emotional weight of what I thought was another nonviable pregnancy.
Until someone tells me otherwise, I am cautiously pregnant.