There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: What’s better in your life than when you started trying? TTC sucks donkey nuts, we all agree on this. But what have you learned or gained during this time (about yourself, in your marriage, whatever) that’s better than when you started?

TW: living child

I have had "unexplained infertility" for the last 1.5 years. During that time, I have also had two miscarriages. I was just diagnosed with chronic endometritis and am simultaneously feeling so relieved and so angry.

My history: my husband and I conceived our first child on the first attempt. I had a smooth pregnancy, labor was quite long and my son and I both developed infections during labor. I was in the hospital an extra day to receive antibiotics and my son needed IV antibiotics for about a week after birth. I had no idea the infection could have implications, no one ever explained anything to me about that.

Fast forward: we started trying to conceive again right after my son turned one. We conceived again on the first try, however it was a very early miscarriage around 5.5 weeks. After the miscarriage I decided to go to my primary care provider because I had been having headaches for quite some time. She ran blood tests and discovered I have Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. My TSH was quite high, and I started levothyroxine right away. We continued trying to conceive and had no luck. After 6 months, my TSH still wasn't getting below a 3.5, so I asked my provider to start me on liothyronine in addition to levothyroxine. This helped my TSH get into range, and 3 months later, after I'd also followed an anti-inflammatory diet, we conceived naturally. We had been just about to start fertility treatments.

I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I requested to meet with the OB to talk about the two miscarriages I had had within the last year. I left the appointment extremely frustrated. I asked about recurrent pregnancy loss tests or diagnostic procedures, and she informed me I would likely conceive naturally within the next 3 months. She did not even recommend doing IUI treatment. I had requested testing of the fetus, but test results were not even back yet. This OB essentially gas lit me by claiming that nothing was likely wrong with me, even though by this point I had had 14 months of infertility with two losses.

The testing came back showing the baby had monosomy X, which often results in miscarriage. Despite the OB's recommendation I went ahead and did three cycles of IUI. I responded well to the meds, and my husband's sperm counts were great. All three cycles failed. After that, I again met with a different fertility provider from the same clinic and asked if further testing could be done. She was extremely dismissive, essentially telling me that IVF was the way to go. She also said to try several more iui cycles, as she thought people with unexplained infertility take longer to conceive using IUI. After that worthless and infuriating appointment, I switched clinics.

At my new clinic, I was informed that my previous clinic did not follow updated recurrent pregnancy loss guidelines, which recommend doing an endometrial biopsy to test for endometritis and doing a SIS procedure to check for polyps. I had an ultrasound with them, and they found a polyp on my cervix. They also completed the biopsy, and I just got the results back that I have chronic endometritis, which usually causes infertility and miscarriages. It is treated with antibiotics. I am absolutely livid that I wasted 3 months of worthless IUI cycles and tons of money (out of pocket) when it was never going to work with the endometritis, and if someone had just offered a biopsy I could have treated this infection much earlier. I cannot believe the negligence of my providers.

It is difficult to say if the endometritis is my only issue. My Hashimoto's likely also played a role, and I will be doing the receptiva biopsy to check for markers of endometriosis. I will also be getting my polyp removed soon.

I am so hopeful that this is the answer to everything. All this to say, if you are experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss, push to get the endometrial biopsy done. For me, it was a painless procedure, though it can be painful for people. Don't let providers ignore your requests for further diagnostic testing or push you towards IVF if you don't feel ready.

Hi! We have been trying for 11 months. After 6 months of nothing they found out that I never ovulated from day 21 progesterone (<1) which means the opks were just false positives. So the doctor put me on Letrozole to help me ovulate.

Fast forward, I’m on my 5th Letrozole cycle and my period show up today which means no pregnancy happens. My blood test confirms I ovulated for all 5 cycles but still not get pregnant.

Does this mean I am still have time? I only have 5 months of confirmed ovulation and I read somewhere that Letrozole only helps for ovulation and will only put our body back to 20% chance to conceive like other healthy couples.

But in the same time with 5 failed cycles while everything is working seems like my body is a failure. My doctor put me to do HSG and if the there’s tubal effect, we may need to do IVF.

Anyone have similar stories and how you proceed this?

Did taking letrozole for fertility treatment affect you and/or your cycle in subsequent cycles? I know that it can either shorten or lengthen the length of the cycle that you take it for, but im curious if, anecdotally, it had lasting effects on the next cycles for you.

It’s 12dpo and I got a BFN this morning, which means I will start letrozole on day 4 of next cycle. We have unexplained infertility and I ovulate regularly but I have low AMH. The plan is to monitor my follicles and do timed intercourse. My doctor said no trigger shot.

This is the first treatment we’ll do and I’m nervous to mess with my hormones because I had a bad experience with HBC in my early 20s. Everything says it shouldn’t affect your next cycles or cause side effects after 10 days because it has a short half life, but I also have seen some stuff on Reddit about lasting side effects and weird cycles. If you have any insight, I’d love to hear it. Thanks in advance!

Hi- I turn 35 November 3. I went off birth control December 23, 2026 and have had one miscarriage and no other pregnancies. I know for 34 year olds, you have to try to conceive naturally for 12 months but for 35 year olds, it’s only 6 months. Since I’m turning 35 before my “12 months of trying as a 34 year old,” would I immediately qualify for an infertility diagnosis (& thus insurance would pay for REI/IVF stuff) when I turn 35? Because when I turn 35 in November I will have “11 months of trying and now I’m 35”

Sorry so confusing. I’ve tried to look online and can’t find clear answers, insurance is really unhelpful, and this whole process has been emotionally awful as everyone around me seems to get pregnant the second they consider trying

Edit: I’m in Massachusetts and have BCBS PPO but they will only tell me the 12 months as a 34 year old / 6 months as a 35 year old. No one will tell me what happens as someone who’s turning 35 before the 12 month mark

Second edit: please stop telling me to ignore the timelines. I believe in the evidence-based guidelines and our medical experts, I’m more trying to understand what happens when I change from under 35 to 35 and up

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

It's no secret that TTC can have a major impact on your life and health - physical, mental, and relationship. What are you currently doing to help with these things? What are you currently struggling with? Look beyond the scale; this is for all types of health and wellness.

Please keep in mind that no one here is the doctor of anyone else. It is always a good idea to speak to your doctor before starting a new diet or exercise plan just in case!

An ultrasound last month found a suspected endometrial polyp - I’m due to have a hysteroscopy
and polyp removal later this afternoon, but on the NHS (in the UK) they generally do it as an outpatient procedure without sedation or GA.

They recommend taking some OTC pain meds an hour before and apparently the options during the procedure are local anaesthetic into the cervix, and gas & air during.

I’m obviously quite nervous about the procedure as it sounds like it can produce quite severe cramping, my cramping is generally fairly mild, moderate at worst (my polyps mainly just cause heavy bleeding, clots and bleeding between periods).

Has anyone had this procedure as an outpatient/without being sedated, and if so, what was it like?

Are you trying to conceive baby number 2/3/n+1? Have questions about TTC while breastfeeding, or bedsharing, or just being plain exhausted? This is your place!

I need to get a polyp removed and then waitlist to get a hysteroscopy at a hospital is at least 6 months. I have the opportunity to do it at my fertility clinic with local anesthetic. I’ve had two hysteroscopies before under general anesthetic, so the thought of doing local is terrifying. Can anyone share their experience??

I really don’t want to wait because I have low egg reserve and have essentially been dealing with complications from this miscarriage for almost a year. I just want to get this fixed so I can move on and try again.

What does the local anesthetic feel like? Is the administration of the anesthetic painful? Am I going to see blood? I started haemorrhaging right before my last hysteroscopy and don’t want to see that again. Is the actual polyp removal painful? What about the recovery time?

I really need some advice. Or just what would you do? Ive been ttc fot 15 months. Got surgery coming up to check my tubes. If needed, IVF is included in my work insurance and they offer 6 months full pay maternity. Now here's the thing. I hate the place. My job, love. Management. Making it unbearable. It started in July, and its getting worse. I keep saying to myself ill wait until I've had a baby so i can get the benefits. But I also don't know how much longer I can take it. I did say this last year about being offered another job. Not thinking it would take so long to conceive! I thought, it would be silly to move and not get maternity. Now im back to square one. What if it takes another 15 months. I don't know if i could deal with it. How long are you meant to put your life on hold ttc? Do I stay, do I go. Im confused

My little sister just told me she is pregnant. I’m four years older than her, and me and my husband have been trying for 10 months. This was her first cycle trying. She sent me a text to let me know that she’s 6 weeks pregnant, and I’m grateful she let me know that way instead of in front of the whole family, but WOW am I not taking it well. I feel such a mix of grief and joy, and then overwhelming guilt because I shouldn’t be sad about something so wonderful. In the past year, every single one of my friends has had a baby or is currently pregnant, and I’ve been able to go to my little sister to express my sadness and frustration with this season. Now, I feel like I have no one to take this too.

She told me months ago that she was going to start trying in the fall, and I prayed asking God to not have her go through the heartache I’ve been going through. I’m sitting here thanking God for answering that prayer for her, and wondering why He’s not answering my prayer for myself. Trusting His timing is so hard!

I keep running through all the moments that are to come. Telling the rest of the family, the impending pity for me and my husband, the baby shower, the bump, the everything. I’m supposed to be the one to help my little sister through it with experienced advice. I’m supposed to have the tips and hand-me-downs to give her. I’m supposed to figure it out for us first. Instead, I’m last, last, last (maybe never?) out of every woman I am close with.

Has anyone else been in these shoes? I just need to know how you coped with it.

Hi all,

I’m 31F and have been TTC for 6 months with no luck. I’ve gotten fertility testing done (multiple comprehensive blood draws, TVU, and HSG) and my husband had a normal SA (3% morphology was only yellow flag).

I keep coming back to my short/light periods - they’ve been like this for almost 2 years since iud removal. My cycles are regular, 28-32ish days.

I use light or regular tampons for 2 days, and it never soaks fully. The blood is almost like bloody mucus instead of a blood flow so doesn’t fully absorb. It’s a really dark red (sometimes bright red) or brown. I spot brown or red the day before and for a couple days after.

My doctor does not seem concerned about this, and on my TVU (day 8 of cycle) my lining was measuring 5.22mm which they said was normal for that point in cycle.

Has anyone else experienced this? Curious on any insight if this really is normal or if I should push harder for this to be examined.

I can't do it anymore. I used to loved my job but now I feel bitter and resentful. All of my friends are having babies. My little brother just had a baby. I can't deal with being confronted with my own infertility every day at work too. Next steps for us would be IVF and for financial and personal reasons we are likely not pursuing that. I can no longer provide unbiased care to many of my patients and I leave work feeling emotionally drained so I knew it was time to move on.

I just took a position on an adult medical unit and I feel nothing but relief (I worked with adults prior to working postpartum). The schedule of my new job will align better with my husband's schedule and I am looking forward to having more free time with him.

Has anyone else had to quit their job/change specialties due to infertility/ttc? Many of my coworkers look at me like I have 3 heads when I tell them I am leaving postpartum since it's a pretty cushy unit. Luckily my manager was very understanding and I am transferring internally within the hospital.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small.

Are you in the dreaded two-week wait, or waiting to ovulate? What have you done to ease the stress?

Last month, I found out my AMH was .46. I was devastated. I’m 33, have been TTC for 8 months with no BFP. I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist.

They did a saline sonogram. Clear. Tubes, clear. They did an AFC.. 13 which is great for my age. All day 3 testing showed perfect estradiol perfectly at 51 so it wasn’t affecting my FSH. FSH was 5.1, perfect. TSH, T4, iron, ferritin, vitamin D, DHEA, literally everything, perfect. No signs of DOR. But my AMH is still low. The retest jumped a little bit, but it’s still low at .48.

None of this makes sense. My tests are perfect. What do we think would cause AMH to still be low when my tests are saying I’m perfectly fine and fertile for my age? Is AMH kind of a scam sometimes? At this point does AMH even matter???

The fertility clinic we went to (at 7 months of trying because of my low AMH) is not in network. We got the tests done and I’m great. Is it stupid for me to think we should try until it’s been 12 months before proceeding with treatment? Or should we do the treatment they are going to recommend even though my body is clearly doing its job and maybe it’s just taking a minute? We are so confused, and feel like after getting these results back, we don’t need a fertility clinic yet when we have only tried for 8 months and I’m under 35… Advice appreciated!

TIA!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

I have crohns (in remission) and PMOS/PCOS and have been ttc for some time. I did two IUIs medicated with a fertility clinic which were not successful. The doctor at that clinic said my crohns doesn’t impact fertility since I’m in remission. I also did a saline sonograph and it showed one of my tubes may be blocked but they were fine with going forward doing IUIs since one of my tubes was open.

I got into a new clinic after waiting several months and this clinic is known to be the best in my area. The first thing the new doctor said was she is concerned about my tubes being damaged due to crohns especially in light of the results of my sonography so I have to do an HSG. She said she’s seen this a lot of her crohns patients. She said if my tubes look ok on the HSG then we can do 2-3 more IUIs before going to IVF, otherwise if they see damage go straight to IVF.

Anyway, does anyone have insight on this? Are there any other tests I should ask them to run? Anything else to consider? Im 30 y/o so I can wait a few months before going to IVF if the doctor thinks that’s the best course of action but I’d obviously like to have a kid as soon as possible and it sucks going through failed IUI cycles.

I also saw there was a recent study that came out about reproductive technology for IBD patients and IUIs seem to be less successful for IBD patients than your average “healthy” person. Thought that was interesting.

If you were diagnosed with endometriosis, I’m curious to hear your story and how you got diagnosed. I have always had awful period cramps. Some lifestyle changes have helped. But my teenage years and early twenties were brutal. I basically could not function and missed school/work etc for the first 1-2 days of my period.

I am going to ask for a screening at my next appointment with my GP —at the very least a questionnaire. But I wanted to know how the whole process typically goes. Did you get an ultrasound or did they just diagnose you based on symptoms?

Let me know! I’ve always been so curious if my cramps are really “that bad”.

I have a family history of ovarian cysts, fibriods, and ovarian cancer. Idk if there is any overlap with these and endo. But painful periods run in the family… So it’s been pretty normalized for me.

Hi everyone,

Title is basically explanatory. In my experience I hardly need to test or wait for my period, because around 11/12DPO my breast tenderness (which in the earlier part of my luteal phase is really strong) noticeably subsides. It’s one of the only PMS symptoms that I feel can’t really be confused for early pregnancy symptoms. Basically just feeling bummed out at 12DPO that even though my period isn’t due for another couple of days, I know I’m out. Anyone else notice this? Sounds stupid but I almost would have preferred to have an extra few days to hope. Starting to really struggle emotionally with the process. It really doesn’t help that the most sensitive time of your cycle (ie finding out it hasn’t worked) coincides with all those low hormonal feelings anyway!

31(F) and 35(M) TTC 8 months - PCOS and endo.

I’d like to open up this discussion because I’m genuinely curious about what people think.

Do you think some couples exaggerate or lie when they say they got pregnant on the first try?

I’ve noticed this with a few friends. When they initially told me they conceived on the first try, and I asked a few more questions, it turned out they had actually been trying for three or four months. Or they’d been trying for a year, but not actively tracking ovulation or timing sex, so in their minds, it didn’t really count as trying.

In fact, my husband and I were talking about this today, and he said that when we eventually get pregnant, he’ll probably tell people it took us two or three months, even if it actually took longer.

It got me wondering whether this is more common than we think. Maybe some people feel embarrassed to admit it took them longer, or they simply don’t want to share something so personal.

Obviously, I don’t think everyone does this, and I’m not saying that people who conceive quickly are lying. I’m just curious about whether you think some couples downplay how long it actually took them to conceive.

Have you ever suspected this, or do you think most people are being honest about it?

Hi! 34f I am trying to conceive my second , just got my period so beginning cycle 9 now.

My luteal phase is typically 8 days. My OB referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist, but I was wondering if anyone has any anecdotal tips on how to try to lengthen my luteal phase on my own as I know several cycles will go by as I wait for my specialist appt.

Had my bloodwork done - My levels and thyroid all look normal but I usually do not ovulate until day 16/17 and usually only have a 24/25 day cycle. Has anyone else had an experience similar to this?

I have read about b6 and vitamin c-would that be on top of prenatal vitamin I am already taking? I asked about progesterone during the luteal phase and my in said she’d get back to me. I am just feeling frustrated and want to do what I can to improve my odds on my own if I can! Thank you!