The most important part of this story is that our baby is stable and has arrived safely. She was born in the 24th. Week of pregnancy and weighs 1 pound, 6 ounces. We are in the best neonatal intensive care unit in our country and the doctors are working very hard for baby Therese to give her the best chances of survival.

Labor and birth were very difficult for the baby and me. I had unexpected labor yesterday morning and began to bleed, which left the difficult decision to give birth to the baby through a caesarean section, on which a hysterectomy was performed. I'm 48, so that wasn't devastating news, but overall it was a traumatic birth for both of us. I haven't seen her yet, but my husband has. He says she looks good. She can't be touched now, but we hope soon. I hope to be able to visit her as soon as possible, but of course it is a big operation and I understand.

Following my previous post about the early tests for Down syndrome (NIPT), she shows no signs of Down syndrome, but it will be confirmed or not once the situation is not critical. Obviously it is a very precarious situation and this is not so consequential.

I had a very normal pregnancy and it is still not 100% clear what happened. I started feeling back pain a few days ago, but it was nothing that would have worried me if I hadn't gone into labor spontaneously.

Right now, we're focusing on making sure baby Therese gets the best care and thrives.

I am overwhelmed with grief. I went to my last OB/GYN appointment last Friday. That was my due date (40 weeks). Heartbeat was strong, he was active and kicking. We were ready to start talking about induction. She says that we will wait another week and have me scheduled to be induced the following thursday evening/friday.

So on Monday I get a confirmation that my induction is scheduled to be on Friday afternoon. The week leading up to it was full of nerves, waiting for any signs of labor. I would get contractions here and there, as well as some aches and pains but never having consistent constant labor pains. Later in the week his kick counts have slowed, but still at the 10 kick check. He was also very weird about kicking. Some days very active, some pretty quiet. I chalked up the last two days of barely any movement normal.

Around Wednesday or Thursday I started having a sick feeling that something wasn’t right. It felt like my body was trying to tell me something. I was having panic attacks, and when my partner tried talking to me, I kept telling him I don’t know why, but something bad is going to happen, I don’t know what. My last couple weeks were kind of rough, so again we chalked it up to pregnancy kicking my butt. My cat was also acting very paranoid and strange the night before I went in. She wouldn’t leave my side.

Induction day finally comes and the last time I felt him “move” was when I ate breakfast in the morning. Now I’m doubting if this was even true, or just a shift in where he’s at.

We arrive in L&D and they were delayed in putting us in a room because I’ve stayed low risk my entire pregnancy. The only time they were concerned was the high protein in my urine but my blood pressure was fine. We ended up getting our room about an hour later. Maybe it was a bad idea, but there was another couple that came in after us who looked very distressed. She had signs of preeclampsia so we ultimately let them sign in first. Again, we were under the impression we were low risk anyway.

After an hour, we were finally settled into the room. Nurse immediately takes out the machine to find the heartbeat. Nothing. At first we were joking around, saying sometimes it takes a couple minutes to find it. But she kept checking and nothing. We thought we heard a heartbeat, but it ended up being my own. At this point, her face changed. I knew something was wrong. I started crying. I turned back and forth while she continued scanning and nothing. She eventually called someone to bring in an ultrasound.

We had two more pairs of eyes look at the scans. At this point I was sobbing. By the time they turned away from the screen to look at me I knew the answer. All I did was wail, realizing that my baby had no heartbeat and ended up dying. We kept asking, how could this happen? I swore I felt him move earlier today after noticing how happy he was mommy was eating pancakes. As the realization hit, I might of misjudged when he last moved. I don’t know when, but it could have been day of or a couple days prior before.

The nurses were fighting back tears telling me that there was no movement and no heartbeat. How? Well, there could be an infection, the placenta detached, or the cord got tangled up or wrapped around his neck. Our world was crushed. He was a happy accident. My partner was thrilled to be a dad. I looked forward to growing our family. We put so much work into having a healthy pregnancy. My work was kind enough to give me an extended paid maternity leave. Our baby shower was so beautiful. We received so many gifts and diapers. The nursery was everything we wanted and more.

And now, it was all for nothing. All the suspense, my body going through changes, the excitement and love everyone has shared, and me looking forward to show everyone our baby boy. Taken away from us so suddenly.

Over the course of the day, we called our parents first who rushed over immediately. We then ended up telling family and friends that they’ll never get to see him alive. I’ve never felt so heartbroken in my life. My partner, who has always been the positive optimistic one, is already facing serious depression.

I’m not blaming myself or the wonderful nurses on Friday. We’re mad that we waited. More specifically, we are furious at our OB/GYN. I felt stupid because she said she’d schedule us the following week. If we induced at 40 he would have been alive. My sister who gave birth last year got scheduled an induction right at her 40 weeks. It felt cruel and unfair. Even the doctors at L&D were shocked learning about this. Unfortunately there’s a loophole because she “recommended” inducing at 41 weeks and we could have pushed back and said no we want to be induced today. We had no idea we could say anything, and ultimately, we trusted her advice. Looking back at it, she really didn’t give a reason why we should wait a week, but we blindly took her recommendation because… she’s a doctor and it’s our first pregnancy. We were naive and clueless.

Once we let family know, I decided I was sick of being pregnant. I just want to hold him as soon as possible. So as of now, it is 2 AM and I have a feeling it’s going to be a long induction. In order for my safety, I will have to go through the entirety of a traumatic labor and birth my dead baby. Avoiding c section unless it’s an emergency.

Throughout the evening, many doctors have come visited us explaining different options of birthing and what to do after he’s born. We decided that if they have no idea how he died then we would send him to autopsy. Then the options of a funeral and whether we want him cremated or not. As they were talking options (while high from pain meds) they silently handed my partner a form. After discussing some things and they left, he started sobbing. The paper they gave him was his death certificate. Now, I understand that they need this information, but we could not fathom how cruel and twisted this became in an instant.

I’m still in early inducement (2cm, 50 ripening). It’s now the next day and I feel like I’m in literal hell, waiting forever to give birth to my dead son and still having to recover after that. The only thing that sounds somewhat rewarding is that I want to donate my breast milk to struggling moms, but other than that I don’t know how to continue life like this. I don’t want another baby. I don’t want to be heartbroken like this ever again.

He has been asking me for the last year + about my family plans, and what I hope to do with my career after children. It’s been extremely uncomfortable. I once had a Dr appt in the spring of last year and he panicked asking if I was pregnant. I was not, and caught so off guard by his response. It was such an overreaction and he has since been in a better mood about asking about my family plans, but I hate it.

Anyways, I’m pregnant and don’t want to tell him. He fears I won’t come back after maternity leave (which very well may happen, but I won’t be telling him that). Has anyone experienced such a controlling/stressed out manager and how did you manage it? Should I tell him at the end of the first trimester so he has ample time to plan for my absence during maternity leave? Or keep my peace until I’m no longer able to hide it?

Note: I mentioned these comments to my senior director after they happened, and was told “you know how he is”, “he means well”, and “just ignore him”. He’s a very sweet, but easily stressed and angered, old man who lives to work. I do not plan to go to HR to report him, I just want a non eventful last few months and to end on good terms.

Note: I also want to add that I recently had a loss so I don’t want to tell him too early. He will be making a huge deal of this no matter when I tell him.

Thanks in advance for any advice!!

I have to start with this - my partner lost his sibling 10 years ago. He says that having our own child now (our first baby) is giving him amazing feeling of happiness and his father (my FIL) feels the same. They said the pain of losing them will never go away but this little baby will be ‘the cure’ for all the pain and loss.

When we told the in-laws that we’re expecting, the FIL said that this was the best surprise he ever got in his life and he has something to look forward to. The MIL did not even smile or got up from the chair. We thought that maybe she’d give a hug and say congrats to her son (my partner), but she only said “oh, very good” and it sounded very fake, like she was not happily surprised at all. My partner was hurt but tried to hide it from me and told me not to think about it and to ignore it.

The other day we found out about the gender and my partner told me “oh my mom said she doesn’t want to know the gender and that she expect us not to tell anyone in the family”. Now I have to be honest and say that I do find this really strange. My parents were delighted to find out, they even celebrated with us over a video call (as my parents live in another country), and were so kind to my partner, trying their best to find English words to express themselves to him and say some nice words or encouragement, etc. (English is not our language).

What if we want to tell other people and it comes back to her? We live on the same road, I’m sure it could come back to her. My opinion is that it’s not normal to expect from us to keep this a secret from her, but is there actually something else going on here?

Also, I want to mention that I do not expect absolutely anything from the MIL, but that I was a bit hurt that not even once since she find out did she text or ask if I’m ok or if I need anything, even though she knew I was really badly sick twice for 2 weeks already. Even the FIL checked on me almost every day, saying he scared he’ll make me sick if he gets cold or flu, he also brought me some apples which both myself and my partner appreciated and found very cute as he usually isn’t someone who shows emotions too much, he’s a bit shy.

I’m very confused here. Is it fair of her to expect that we keep the gender to ourselves - that part I don’t understand. Is there anything I should say to that or anything I should do different?

I would appreciate others experience when it comes to this.

I vomited so hard I got pee in my socks. :)

8 weeks pregnant and oh my days, I try to burp nothing but liquid comes back up. I try to eat a delicious home cooked meal my grandmother made I eat a tiny portion and I feel like I’ve eaten a boat load. I’m not gassy I just feel full 24/7. Got washing to hang out? I’m pooped afterwards. I feel so dang tired from just doing nothing 🥲 no vomit thankfully. Any tips and tricks or advice going forward thanks !! 🩷

For anyone who was overcharged for Natera Testing, there is a settlement you can claim for.

https://geneticscreeningtestsettlement.com

As per the classaction.org website: You may be included in this settlement if Natera billed you more than $249 for noninvasive prenatal testing without microdeletions, $349 for noninvasive prenatal testing with microdeletions, or $349 for genetic carrier screening between July 10, 2019 and September 2, 2026.

I just found out this morning!! still in disbelief 🥹🥹 I had endometriosis excision surgery in August of this year, stage 2 endo. This was my first cycle trying post surgery!

Any advice is welcome!! I am just soaking up this feeling!!

I'm kinda embarrassed to post this but I'm a FTM, 13+5 and more recently I've just noticed a bad smell with me "down there". I don't have a UTI. My urine was just tested 2 days ago. My next visit is with my doctor at my 16 week and too embarrassed to ask the nurse at the office lol. Is this normal?

Has anyone had a tooth removed this late in the game? I’m so worried I’ll have to labour with a fresh extraction. I’ve never had an extraction before. This tooth is an old root canal tooth that cracked like a month ago but we decided to wait until after birth but now a literal massive piece has come off so I’m pretty certain if we now leave it I will get an infection. I have an appointment booked for Monday (it’s weekend now) which will put me at 40w2d.

I’m 14 weeks pregnant and I’ve already bled twice during this pregnancy and baby girl is going good. She was playing around in my uterus when I got checked out. I bled bright red blood like i did at 8 weeks pregnant and I instantly stopped bleeding. They checked my cervix and there was no active bleeding. My doctor can’t explain what’s going on.. I talked to my aunt and she said she basically has her period the whole time of her pregnancy and her baby came out healthy. Has this happened to anyone? How’s your baby and what did your doctor tell you?

if you want a pattern info for any items let me know !!

My (32F) first was born a little over a week ago. I thought I’d share a positive birth experience:

Throughout my pregnancy, I imagined an unmedicated birth in a labor room where I could utilize a shower, bath TENS unit, hypnobirthing… all of the things. We also were working with a doula.

To backtrack, I had a membrane sweep at 38W 6D which didn’t seem to do much. I had some contractions and spotting, as well as bloody show, but 4 days later and I felt really no major changes.

On Tuesday (39W 3D), I was at work and starting having some back pain and contractions. I work in a hospital, so popped up to L&D to get checked out. They did a cervical check and said I was at 3cm, 50% effaced. They offered a few options to help labor along, but I really didn’t want to go down the whole induction route without an indication. I settled on trying Cytotec. Well, that didn’t work either, so I elected to go home and see what my body could do on its own.

The next morning (12 hours later), my water broke as I was getting out of bed. I called my OB team, and they said I could labor at home and come if my contractions started getting bad but to come in 12 hours after my water broke no matter what. I liked that plan, I was having very light, manageable contractions.

Not 45 minutes later, I was on my hands and knees, unable to speak, puking my guts out. Apparently it was time to get to the hospital. They checked me in the triage room, and I was 5cm! It was all I could do to mutter “epidural as soon as possible.” Thank goodness that went smoothly, so I was able to take a breather a bit.

2 hours later, my OB team came back in. They said baby boy’s heart rate was having a lot of decelerations, and at that time was actually pretty low. I tried not to panic. They told me they needed to do some maneuvers to get it up and to do a cervical check. I was complete! In about 5 minutes, baby’s heart rate had stabilized, and the triage room was set up for me to deliver. The OB resident guided me on pushing, and he was out after 20 min of pushes. Absolutely wild.

The total time from when my water broke to when he was here was about 5.5 hours, which felt insane to me. So not exactly the calm unmedicated birth I imagined, but that’s ok! Having flexibility and being ok with your preferences changing is, in my mind, the best thing you can do to prepare for your birth.

My partner and I are planning to start trying for our first child in the near future. Obviously we're not going to advertise to the whole world when we start having unprotected sex lol, but I would like to be able to chat about it with a couple close friends and maybe my mom.

I've seen some people online recommend not sharing that you're TTC to avoid unsolicited advice, awkward questions, or uncomfortable conversations if you end up dealing with infertility, etc. But it seems like such a huge deal that NOT talking about it sounds a little lonely. Curious about other folks' experience. Did you tell anyone when you started trying? Did you regret sharing or not sharing?

Thanks all!

I have a gorgeous sweet 16 month old baby boy. I am looking to get pregnant again in the upcoming months. What are some things you wish you did or knew before your second pregnancy?

Thanks!

Hi all,

I am currently around 6ish weeks pregnant between 5-6 I have an internal ultrasound less than 48hours ago in hospital and they said everything looked fine I was measuring about 5 and a bit weeks and fully visible gestational sac and yolk sac. Today I am having some light spotting, should I be concerned? It’s more pink than red, is this normal does it happen often to pregnant women, this is my first pregnancy so I am terrified!

Any advice is welcome!

I’ve been scared and walking on eggshells and can’t get myself to send my friend a text that I’m pregnant again. Our friendship hasn’t been the same since I announced my first pregnancy a couple of years ago and I’m at a bit of a loss of what to do now. We see each other every few months with our group of friends and it’s getting more obvious. I’ve put off telling our friends group as I wanted to let her be the first to know but the more I try and hit send it just feels like we may not recover this time around. I know she is trying her best to be supportive but she has been through so much the last few years.

For the last couple weeks my ribs have been so sore and hurting. It’s like right under my boobs kinda? On the front if that makes sense. It usually happens when I sit for too long, I have no clue how they are related. It’s on both sides

spending all weekend attempting to flip my breech baby before my monday appointment and ECV tuesday. going to do more moxibustion, breech tilts, sofa inversions, the cold pack/heat/flashlight trick, etc.

anything tried and true that anyone felt REALLY made a difference?! I don't have a pool but wouldn't be opposed getting a day pass for handstands lol.

All the products in the free Walmart Baby Box!

So my girlfriend (22F) is about 4-5 weeks pregnant right now and the hormones and morning sickness is killing her. She has had some really tough days so far and I need some advice on how I can help. It's been really tough for her mentally and physically the last few days and I want to be able to help but I don't know how. I know to be there for her and try to understand her but I don't know what I can do specifically. I love her and I know she needs some help but I don't know what I can do the best. I would also love some advice just generally helping her that I can relay to her that may be of use to her. I would love to make her life as easy as possible throughout this and some advice and encouragement would be super useful.