I’ve noticed that online we seem to have reached a point where people treat you like some sort of lunatic for wanting to give birth vaginally. I’m only half joking!

There seems to be a culture developing of acting as though vaginal delivery means you’re basically signing up for 3rd / 4th degree tearing and incontinence, whereas c section is the ‘risk free’ option, totally glossing over the risks of major abdominal surgery.

I’ve always felt vaginal delivery is my preference but if a c section is needed, I’ll obviously be flexible. Part of my preparation has been pelvic floor physio, pregnancy yoga, perineum massage etc. One of the major reasons is that postpartum will be hard enough without me also recovering from major abdominal surgery at the same time.

It just seems like the online discourse has swung so far in the opposite direction that people think you’re taking insane risks by doing so. Any reassurance would be great!

Hi! I’m new here and a FTM.

I’m due in late January… So naturally, I have begun worrying about how to keep my baby warm when traveling from the hospital to the car, and then the car to the house in the middle of the Midwest winter. We have a convertible car seat so I know we will need to take off layers once we get to the car, warm up the car beforehand, etc. But do I buy fleece footies, a hat, mittens? Should I do a thermal instead? Should we carry them in a blanket, buy a newborn winter jacket, or get the baby wearing coat???

There are just too many options!! So of course, I am just feeling so worried about this process and so I think what would help me decide is hearing the stories from everyone who has gone through this! I would LOVE to hear what people did and how it worked for them. Any stories or advice would be appreciated!!! New mom anxiety is real…

Thank you!!

Edit: Thank you to all who gave kind and thoughtful responses! I love the suggestions and seeing how you all did things! Super helpful to know that my initial plan of just using a blanket to get to the car will be fine. Also thank you to everyone who read my full post and didn’t give me a hard time for asking questions!!! 💕 I appreciate all of you!

i’m pregnant and i don’t know why it makes me sad whenever i talk to my parents. they always hang up the phone by saying “take care of the baby” but never i hope you’re doing well or anything of that sort. i ofc love my baby already and want her to be a healthy baby but that comment makes me feel uncomfortable. am i overreacting?

What is everyone’s thoughts on having your first baby at 34. Is this considered too old or is it a good time?

My first pregnancy was okay. Yeah I got sick in the morning but otherwise just a smooth normal experience. This pregnancy is literally kicking my butt and im only 10 weeks so far. I have had pneumonia and 2 colds from whatever my toddler brings from daycare. On top of this the nauseau is insane. I throw up every morning. Its getting hard for me to work and ive called in sick so many times to either take care of a sick toddler or get some sleep so I dont get pneumonia again. I had a meeting the other day where as soon as I got off the call I threw up. I feel like im going to lose my job at any point and I was hoping not to tell them im pregnant until im 20 weeks.

Im tired. Im stressed. My toddler watches way more TV than I would have wanted him to. Im in pain. Im depressed. I dont know how im going to get through it. This really sucks.

I’m 5.5 weeks pregnant with baby #4 (woohoo!). My older three are 5, 3, and 2. I’m not feeling terrible so far, but I’m starting to get exhausted and moody and a tad nauseous so I’m trying to get ahead of things and ask—what helped you the most when you were in first tri trenches with other littles to manage? I have a very supportive and helpful husband but sometimes he just needs a nudge about what would be helpful.

hi!

First time mom (probably obvious from the title lol) and I‘m very early in this journey. I’m 4 weeks and 3 days from the start of my last period.

I’ve read a few posts about morning sickness, but it’s described differently than how I feel: like I could gag at any moment, but I don’t necessarily feel bad. I’m still able to eat, but sometimes nothing sounds good.

I’m nervous that if I feel like this now, what will it be in a few weeks…

thanks for any and all input/advice!

What do i do if no one buys from my registry and i sent it out weeks ago .. literally no one bought a single thing !

TW: parent loss, cancer and grief

My mom passed away 5 months ago. I had gotten married just 3 months before. My mom and I had a very complicated relationship before she passed, I’m the oldest of a big family and my mom had gotten diagnosed with cancer when I was 18, about to fly the nest. I, for the last 4 years, until I got married was her caregiver and basically #2 mom to my siblings.
Throughout my childhood, I am realizing I was so parentified, but also told I was a bad kid, “I didn’t help”, verbally abused etc, when I did everything including cooking and cleaning for everyone everyday since I was 8.
My mom was completely aloof and expected everyone to do everything for her.

Now this is where motherhood comes in, I promise. My entire life, I’ve wanted to be a mother.
I still do, I’m just becoming bitter and scared about it and I know it’s because of my mom and grief.

I wanted nothing more than a lil squishy adorable baby to hold and to have. I want so many little kids who look like me and my husband, who I can raise to be confident happy adults. I don’t want them to ever have the life I had as a child.
I am constantly around mothers. My husband and I attend a very family centered congregation, so I am the odd one out in my friend group who doesn’t have a baby. My other newlywed friend is currently trying to conceive, so I’m sitting on the island of misfit toys til my husband and I start trying in march for our 1 year anniversary haha.

But when I’m around these mothers, I feel sad.
Last night we had a dinner party and the topics switched between being a mom, how chaotic and scary pregnancy is, how much their kids are making them go crazy and how much they needed their own mothers. The last one was touchy, but everyone makes motherhood and pregnancy sound so miserable. Like it’s crazy to me that if it’s “so bad”, that so many people go through with it. I just don’t get it. Then it pains me to hear people complain about their kids, because I was in said kid position.

But I just increasingly judge how everyone parents their kids, I can’t believe they make kids their entire personality either. Im becoming so bitter. My husband even told me last night that I am definitely becoming bitter about it.
I do want kids, I’m just getting so scared as time approaches if that makes sense.

Hello,

I received my bill from Quest for the NIPT testing and the cost is $3306. Insurance was supposed to cover all medically necessary tests but they deemed this one not medically necessary.

Anyway, ive heard Quest can lower the out of pocket cost so I reached out to them. I’ve called Quest and emailed quest twice. They call back and hang up, or just respond to the email to call customer service. I’ve been given the runaround for weeks. Finally got ahold of someone today and they agreed to lower the bill to $299. I agreed to pay that amount but they said it needs to go through rebilling and can take 45 days to get a new bill.

Has anyone been through this? Does the sound right? I’m afraid I’m getting more run around and that if I wait the 45 days and no bill comes then I’m right back where I started and late on the bill

Just had my 32 week appt today and I’m measuring 32 weeks by fundal height. Earned ourselves an ultrasound in 2 weeks to check baby’s growth. Last visit I was 2 weeks ahead and every visit before that I’ve been about 1 week ahead. Do y’all think this means baby might come early? Has anyone had this happen? My OB doesn’t seem concerned yet but we’ll see what he says after the ultrasound. I’m kinda hoping this means maybe she’ll come a week or two early.

Yeah so I got some cookies from Aldi in a resealable package, I went to go close it and noticed my hand smelled or something and opened the package back up and it smelled very fumey and like sharpie almost. Someone on Facebook wrote a month or so ago complaining about the same issue. I’m 25 weeks pregnant today, and out of concern (also because I’ve been having a mild sore throat/ slight headache since then) I called poison control and they couldn’t advise me and so I called the after hours line for my OB and she said that they could examine my throat and stuff but I could just watch things and then call my OB tomorrow for sure to touch base with them. Baby has been moving since then but I’m scared to sleep cause what if something gets worse? Has anyone dealt with anything similar and baby been fine? If it was just me I’d dismiss it but there’s a baby involved I love so much and would hate to sit and wait it out if it’s fr serious and if I fr just ate a bunch of toxic chemicals that could hurt him.

update! It was so delicious. My craving is satisfied. baby is wiggling too. Thank you everyone! Turns out I was eating a few servings of organ meat with the in-laws without realizing during my last pregnancy as well. Lots of Filipino foods have low key organ meat snuck in. yum

liver paté during 2nd trimester…it’s my craving right now. I want to make home made bahn mi! I got all the stuff. what if I toast it on the bread??? I’m craving organ meat for some reason, which I am not a fan of, normally. what if I just have it this once? it’s goose and pork liver if that makes a difference.

Just seeking everyone’s opinions on this. Both trips are relatively short only a few days away but they’re not mandatory and are for general team bonding and no one would question it for a second if he said no because he has a newborn and 21 month old at home.

EDIT to add more info:
1. His company just underwent a merger and these trips would be with the new management that he says is important for his career to get to know
2. He did say that he talked to his mom and she could come stay with me while he’s gone but idk if I want my MIL up in my space while breastfeeding practically 24/7 and probably still wearing diapers myself lol

I'm FTM of 8 weeks old and still figurng out the basics of everyday life with a baby. Last week my aunt came to see my baby and while visitng nursery asked me when did u clean the diaper pail last. I was like I changed its bag yesterday. She gave a me a frown. I was a little confused whats wrong. She then claimed that if you will not clean the pail regularly it will start stinkng. I dont know what came to her mind because there was no smell in the room.
I do regulalry change the bag and dont over load the pail. Normally my pail (momcozy one) accomodates around 24 used diapers so I change the bag after every 3 days. I personally never felt any odour leak.
So yesterday, when I was changing the bag I cleaned the pail from inside with damp cloth. But I want to ask other parents how do they clean diaper pail? Does the pail actually start stinking if not cleaned regularly?

I am 22 weeks pregnant (FTM) in my mid 30s. I’ve started checking my blood pressure at home over the last week. Noticed my readings have been 137/87, 133/82, 127/81, and 130/85. Normally it’s 117/72.

I contacted my midwife today to tell her my concerns and she snapped back “why are you checking your blood pressure at home?”. I was quite shocked. Did I do something wrong? I told her that I started noticing black dots in my vision and swelling of the nose. She responded that it’s normal to have nasal swelling and that I should be drinking more water.

She also told me that only her blood pressure readings matter. The thing is I only see her once a month. Am I doing something wrong by checking BP at home? Would you be concerned if you had the same bp readings? If you’re from the Nordic countries or UK, how did you manage to get your concerns checked? Coming from California, I am still trying to learn the health care system here.

I cannot stop crying. Literally everyday. 39 weeks pregnant and have never been this miserable physically or emotionally. I don’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable with my first. Nothing putting me into labor. Membrane sweep did nothing. Anyone else absolutely over it?! I feel like I’m going insane. Not to mention still having to work. I know she could come any day but it doesn’t help this feeling

If you’re pregnant and planning to breastfeed, this post is for you!!! I’m 2.5 weeks out from having a baby and here are some things I wish I’d known/done before going to the hospital.

I had no idea my boobs could experience the level of pain they did when my milk came in. I didn’t hear it talked about at all and assumed it was just a painless experience. For me, that was FALSE. My milk came in 3 days after I delivered and coincided with when we came home from the hospital (C section). My baby had a poor latch in the hospital so my nips were cracked and so painful I couldn’t even imagine latching him. Pumping was my ONLY option for getting the milk out and releasing the pressure.

Trying to figure all this out with 0 sleep and painful boobs was horrible so I hope this post helps someone.

1. Clean your pump parts BEFORE you go to the hospital (I was very glad I did this in advance)
   
2. Spend time figuring out how to USE your pump before going to the hospital. You don’t have to be a pro but take 30 mins to understand the settings, how to assemble it, and get a basic understanding. I highly regretted not doing this since I really didn’t remember what the lactation consultant at the hospital told me
   
3. Get 2 sizes of pumping bras. If you have a non-wearable, you’re gonna be holding these in your hands otherwise and lemme tell ya, this is super hard to do. You might not know your correct size so just get 2 and return what doesn’t work.
   
4. Have ice packs on hand for your boobs. For pain and swelling, ice is your friend. I have some kids lunch box fruit shaped ones that were amazing. Also have Advil. Once you’re out of the woods engorgement-wise, heat is great before pumping.
   
5. RELAX - I found myself trying to pump and sobbing from the stress, pain, and sleep deprivation. Milk flows when oxytocin is going and that’s not gonna happen if you’re sobbing. Hold your baby or look at a picture, put on relaxing music, and try to calm down before starting. This was literally the difference between my milk coming out and staying engorged.

The first night home is probably gonna be stressful for a multitude of reasons but hopefully this helps at least one aspect!

I was at work and then all of a sudden I felt like I peed myself and had to run to the bathroom

Well I ended up going to the ER and they aircared me to UC

It looks like I’m going to be here until I hit 34 weeks to deliver my little girl

I've been procrastinating cleaning the house all day and now that it's time I just want to throw in the towel after 15 minutes. Bending down makes me feel like my pelvis is just gonna fall apart. I'm dizzy, and exhausted, and due to start iron infusions in a week, which I hope will help.

I've gotten like 5% of the cleaning done and I just wanna lay back down. I work 12 hour shifts only 3 days a week, but on the 4 days/week I'm off I feel so disappointed not getting anything accomplished. My kids are in school so I have all day to just get something done. My husband helps so much and never minds, but he just started at a new job and I feel awful about not doing more around the house. Just needed to vent. I hope I get some extra energy soon 😭

This is baby #2! I’ve had a healthy pregnancy with no issues (besides my heart rate and blood pressure being high which I’ve had issues with before having babies.)

I’m having a pain I never had with my first baby and wondering if anyone has experienced this as well.

I’m having a sharp pain in the lowerrrr far left side of my belly that goes into my hip.. it’s also went into my thigh but only had it go into my thigh like twice today.
The sharp pain only lasts like 2-3 seconds and happens every few minutes. It started earlier today. It’s definitely not contractions.

Has anyone experienced this before???? I go to the OBGYN in the morning and plan on mentioning it if I’m still having the pain but wanted to come on here and see if anyone has had this happen to them before.

Edit because I have pregnancy brain and am so tired and clearly can’t type lol.

Does anyone ever get so so so emotional about it? My husband he tells me he loves them, he doesn’t notice it usually as it’s just a part of me, and we had a talk about how these marks I would’ve never had them without something being made of him and I and that way they should be beautiful and I should love them. I wanna cry because I wanna believe him I’m just sooo afraid he’s lying and hates them. Emotions during pregnancy are awful. They make me feel so so soooo emotional and scared my husband thinks I’m ugly cause I’ve gained weight, when he’s all over me… We have been together since we were young teenagers, he’s just my person yk? He’s seen me change and grow and I’ve seen the same, I’ve seen him gain weight as well and I think he’s more than beautiful. But man why is it so hard to accept the same for me🥲

hii, my OB told me to pump couple times in a day and save the colostrum. also, it’ll help with my contractions. i pumped first time today but i had no contractions so far. when the contraction start usually?

I was adamant for MONTHS to paint the dresser pink & even went to get the paint the other day. What if I regret it though?

Now I’m thinking I should just leave it and maybe just put pink knobs? IDK I am HORRIBLE at decorating and feel like I make a lot of wrong decisions so I need help, PLEASE