This was our second back to back loss. We had a 5+3 chemical in August and conceived immediately after. MMC at 8 weeks on Monday measuring almost 2 weeks behind even though we’d seen a heartbeat at 6 weeks.

We do have 2 older LC and my husband works an insanely stressful job. He took two days off (Tuesday the day of my D&C and Wednesday the day after) but then went back to work on Thursday and Friday. He works from home and was still able to do everything for the kids but he is not the best at keeping the house clean. I had to pull myself together last night to go to my yoga teacher training meeting from 6-9pm. I knew he was ordering takeout and had been patient about the house being a disaster this week while he had been working but really didn’t expect to come home to an absolute disaster. I’m talking chik fil a fries smashed into the living room carpet, two bouquets of flowers friends had dropped off earlier in the day still not in water, expensive paints and craft supplies left on the dining table etc.

I was bleeding heavily, I had obviously massively overdone it by going to yoga teacher training (it wasn’t even movement, just our monthly debrief and catch up before a long weekend of movement but I just wanted to go show face and tell everyone why I wouldn’t be there this weekend) but even sitting on the floor for 2 hours had me dying from pain and exhaustion. So when I came home to the mess and he was still doing bedtime, I just saw red. I took deep breaths and told myself “he is grieving too, he is under so much stress, don’t lash out at him” but I was patiently waiting for him to finish bedtime with the girls only to realize after an hour that he had fallen asleep doing bedtime (again, I’m not mad, I know he is hurting too and it’s been an exhausting week) but I needed someone to comfort me.

I got up to get my own food ready and felt a massive rush of blood in my stupid maxi pad and I just had a fucking mental breakdown. I literally punched our metal trashcan so hard it dented it. I threw dishes in the sink so hard they broke. I woke him up sobbing and said “get downstairs and help me clean now” which obviously put him on the defense and we started fighting, and I said something unforgivable. I told him it was probably his fault our baby died because he consumes caffeine and does the stupid nicotine pouches. I literally saw the tears well in his eyes and I felt like such a monster. I have never for a second thought that he caused this and he actually has been on a health journey and quit vaping, quit drinking, takes supplements and his taking such better care of himself and his mental health that I know I absolutely went WAY below the belt.

I cried in the shower for an hour and then we ended up just crying together for awhile after. I know he knows I’m hormonal and hurting and he forgave me but I feel so humiliated that I acted like that. I am not an angry person, this rage is piping hot and I wish I could get rid of it. Please tell me this will get easier 😭 how can I start to process these feelings healthily without hurting people around me?

I had been spotting starting on Monday and it worried me. Thursday was my NIPT and I went in for the blood draw and mentioned to the nurse that that spotting hadn’t stopped. She said the OB could do a quick scan. I was 10 weeks 1 day. There was no longer a heartbeat and baby measured 8 weeks 4 days. We had our first ultrasound at 8 weeks 0 days and baby was measuring exactly 8 weeks with a 150 bmp heartbeat and we were so happy and my husband cried. It looked like a little baby in there and its head took up half its body, its strong beating heart took up the other half. I felt like i could finally relax. Now it feels like someone died. I mean someone did die. Yesterday I took the day off work and took misoprostol and had some excruciating cramping, eventually passed it which felt like a relief physically. We saw it in the toilet and it really looked like the illustrations. I didn’t gather it, i was too shocked and my husband and i looked at it and flushed it. I feel so empty and sad and bleak. We were so excited for this pregnancy. It felt like a miracle. I am 39 years old and we had been trying for a year and it was the month before we were to start embryo transfer for IVF and we spontaneously conceived, a 5-7% chance. The timing could not have been better, i am a teacher and a may 2027 due date meant a 6-7 month paid maternity leave because of summer and California benefits . I am grieving the timing a lot and how excited i was for the plan. I feel like because of my age i don’t have the luxury to wait until I’m ready again but feel like i should just jump right into embryo transfer like we had planned, then we will know that the embryo is at least chromosomally normal. I’m scared of the stress of IVF. I’m scared of being pregnant again and having another loss. The future seems to unroll in front of me suddenly unsafe to feel at all excited about. I feel so alone and so so sad. I just want to hear from people who have been through this. How did you pull yourself out of this? Especially if you are older and your pregnancy took a while to achieve. How do you move forward?

I lost my baby last night. I know I wasn't far along (7 weeks) but we were already so emotionally attached. We talked about the baby with so much love and excitement it was as if they were already here. I cried in the ER for an hour. I know that these things happen, and it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel guilty. Does it stop hurting?

We were expecting to have a May 2027 baby. Sneak peek said it was a boy. I had some early spotting but that's not unusual as I spotted with previous successful pregnancies. I supplement with progesterone once ovulation has been confirmed.

Things were otherwise looking well. HCG was doubling every 36ish hours and we saw a 144 heartbeat at a boutique. 6 days later at a medical ultrasound, the embryo no longer had cardiac activity and had "shrunk." My HCG this same day was 116,521 at 8 weeks. I had my D&C a week later (this past Wednesday). What took me by surprise with my D&C was that I had 2 options for the "remains": the Catholic hospital putting it in a mass grave with other sub-20 week losses at a cemetery, or I pick up the remains myself for burial. I kept it together until this point. Yesterday I passed a good size amount of actual tissue so who knows if there is still anything retained. I have left a message with my ob to see about checking for retained tissue and getting HCG draws.

I am so upset by this experience and so impatient to be free of all signs of this pregnancy and move on. I have hurt my feelings twice now taking a pregnancy test. I know it's too soon to have significant lightening of the test especially starting with an HCG that high but I couldn't help but hope. I still have daily nausea but it has decreased considerably.

If you had an HCG in the hundred thousands, how long did it take for your HCG to come all the way down?

How do I deal with anticipatory grief? Had a miscarriage in April, found out pregnant again September, have been having weekly scans since 5w due to suspected ectopic which was ruled out but measuring behind with no fetal pole seen. Stuck in this limbo having to go back for weekly scans to explore viability. Everyone round me is telling me to be positive, but I feel like I am grieving the loss that hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know if it’s my brain protecting itself or a true gut feeling but I just feel I know the words I will hear at my next scan. Don’t know how many times I can go through this

I went to urgent care yesterday and they booked me in for a scan. I went this afternoon for the scan and they found the gestational sac and the yolk sac but no fetal pole. I am 7 weeks 2 days and I know there should have been a heartbeat or even a baby by now. Has this happened to anyone else and there’s been changes in 10 days? I return in 10 days for a follow up scan for changes but as I have miscarried plenty before I’m not hopeful, but hoping that someone else has experienced no fetal pole at 7 weeks but later found out there was a change.

I had a chemical pregnancy after getting a positive test result a few days ago. I feel so sad for something that I only knew about for such a short while. It’s about what could’ve been and my partner and I were so excited to see the two lines for the first time since we started trying.

I wish my doctor had told me about chemical pregnancy and what to expect if it does happen in the early stages. Would still be devastated but maybe also better prepared.
I keep going between feeling ok and then crying my eyes out, wishing the tiny bundle inside me could’ve stayed. Maybe it wasn’t the right time but it still feels like a loss. Really hope this gets better and maybe next time things will work out. I don’t know when we’ll be ready to try again but this has made me realise how badly I want a baby.

Babies .2cm and .13cm. No heartbeat. Boobs stoped feeling sore. Incredibly anxious right now.

Lost my symptoms when I lost my baby earlier this year.

Hi All,

I was frantically searching on here yesterday for other people's experiences so I could prepare myself. I've decided to share my experience to hopefully give other people some idea of what they could potentially expect.

I went for a private scan (abdominal) at 9w5d expecting to see our little babys heartbeat but unfortunately there was just an empty gestational sac, no baby. We were told it was called blighted ovum. This was confirmed by an internal scan the following day. I was given my miscarriage options: natural, medical or surgery. I opted for medical.

I went to the clinic and took the first medication, mifepristone, on Thursday morning. They gave me the second lot of medication, misoprostol, to take at home within 24-48 hours. This was 4 tablets that you leave to dissolve in your mouth for 30 mins.

This was my timeline after taking the second medication at 15:00:

17:00 - Light Cramping

18:15 - Light Bleeding, No Clotting

20:00 - 2:00 - Heavy Bleeding, Lots of Clotting, Mild Cramping

2:00 - 3:00 - Fell Asleep

3.00 - 4:00 - Extreme Bleeding and Clotting, Dizziness, Nausea, Loud Buzzing in Ears, Blurry Vision, Cold Sweat

4:00 - Very Little Bleeding, No Clots, No Cramping

I went to bed just after 4am and slept the rest of the night with very little bleeding and no cramping. Its the following morning now and still have no bleeding or cramping.

Overall, the experience was not as bad as I expected. Although between 3am and 4am was quite scary. The pain was managed very well with solpadol every 6 hours (my doctor prescribed it and I think it made a huge difference so get that if you can).

I'm so sorry for whoever is going through this but women's bodies are amazing, have your pain meds, sanitary pads, snacks and drinks ready, go through the motions and it will be over before you know it.

It happens to so many women, we just don't speak about it enough.

Sending lots of love ❤️

Long story and gross description of product

I had a miscarriage (missed) 9 months ago. Unfortunately there was no heart beat. I had a D&C to remove the product. I have since not had a proper period. Just spotting and severe cramping. GP suspects Ashermann’s Syndrome, as I also already have endometriosis, scar tissue from a perforation of my uterus during a laparoscopy and just a silly uterus. I am currently on the wait list for surgery.
Today I started severely cramping again after 2 months without. Bled through my pants and undies but other than that not too heavy. Then the weirdest fucking thing came out. Looked like stringy clots (normal) but at the end was a clear sac-like thing? I couldn’t pierce it. It was very jelly like and looked like it may have had some very very small veins? Or it was just blood tissue not sure.

I had a MMC at 9 weeks, never started bleeding so opted for a d&c to avoid RPOC and needing to do a surgical anyway (lol)
Fast forward to 2 weeks post op I’m still bleeding on and off with cramping, do an ultrasound and find out I have 2cm piece of RPOC in my uterus at the top right (where the baby implanted) dunno how it was missed but it’s there.
Chances of RPOC is about 1-3% after a surgical D&C, I now have to go in for a repeat D&C hysteroscopy to remove the tissue.
Has this happened to others? I’m just looking for experiences. I’m so scared of scarring after this repeat procedure and ultimately issues with fertility if I got scarring.
This journey has been horrible, it feels so lonely despite having the most amazing husband for support but I just want to be able to be back to normal and start TTC again. But now I have to start the healing process all over again.
Ugh

Hi! I had a miscarriage at 7+4 weeks (first pregnancy after IVF). There was no heartbeat, and the embryo measured around 7 weeks. A D&C was scheduled, but I miscarried naturally 3 days after the bleeding started.

I passed the main pregnancy tissue in one large piece. An ultrasound showed that almost everything had passed, with a small amount remaining that was expected to pass naturally.

I have a holiday planned 9 days after passing the tissue. My bleeding has stopped, and I'll have been bleeding-free for 3 days by then.

Is it safe to swim in a pool? I'm especially interested in advice for natural miscarriages rather than D&Cs, which seems difficult to find.

thanks!

Y’all are going to get tired of me posting here, but I feel like this is the only place where other people understand my experience.

My cousin is about 5 weeks ahead of where I was in pregnancy. I’m sitting in bed, cramping, and bleeding into my adult diaper after my D&C yesterday. She is aware, as my family was all updated. I woke up this morning to see her pregnancy announcement plastered on Facebook.

Am I overreacting to thinking this is a little insensitive? We had been texting frequently about baby things, which is why I updated her about our loss. Could she have at least blocked me from the post or just waited a tiny bit longer? Makes me want to skip all family holidays this year as I don’t think I can handle it. I want my baby boy back.

Tuve un aborto hace 6 semanas, en el momento en que tuve el aborto tenía 6 semanas +5 de embarazo y tenía la Hcg en 43.000 el ginecólogo me dijo que estaba demasiado alta, tenía que volver una semanas después a hacerme la prueba nuevamente para saber si había bajado y no fui, pero la semana pasada me hice un examen de sangre y la Hcg la tengo en 10.000 no sé porque no ha bajado más, además de pcr positivo, pero no tengo nada de dolor, ni flujo de mal olor, en ese momento estaba en mi periodo y fue más abundante que nunca antes, no sé si eso es relevante, a alguien le ha pasado???? Porfavor!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Quiero saber que podría ser

I have had a long journey, found out that I was having a MMC early September, took the pills on the 11th and found out it wasn’t successful and had to have a d&c on the 25th. I bled for about a week (although never really a lot of bleeding, more like brown discharge with some blood when wiping). That ended October 3. I started to bleed again on October 11 and assumed it was a period because I was having cramping but it was only 3 days and much lighter than normal. I had my hcg tested last week and it was still 29, I had it tested again yesterday and it went down to 9, which isn’t considered normal yet but still declining. This afternoon I started to bleed again so now I’m confused if this has been my period or somehow delayed bleeding from the d&c.

Of course it happens on a Friday evening so I can’t contact my doctor but wanted to see if anyone else had something similar? I know I can’t know for sure if it’s a period or not but at least hoping to have reassurance that it’s probably nothing concerning especially since my hcg is still declining properly.

I was told to insert vaginally 200mg x2 nightly. I don’t necessarily have low progesterone but I have had 2 miscarriages prior. I’m curious if anyone else was also recommended this?
I was under the impression that I only needed 200mg daily total. Please easy my mind, thanks

I have been having a bit of a mysterious miscarriage journey that even my OB isn't sure what is going on. I was just hopeful or curious if anyone has ever incounted a similar story?

I had a missed miscarriage (my first pregnancy) at 9 weeks back in July. I did a course of mifepristone/misoprostol and basically haven't stopped bleeding/spotting since then (almost 3 mos!).

I had an ultrasound done 3 weeks after the miso and showed no signs of RPOC and 5mm lining and was told spotting could continue. Then about 5 weeks after the miscarriage my bleeding picked up (which I thought was maybe a period). I got another ultrasound done which then showed likely RPOC, 17mm lining and hypervascularity .

My OB thinks it was potentially a second pregnancy (which was possible based on unprotected sex with my husband) that was chemical and potentially in an unknown location. After repeated blood work my HCG continued to hover in the high 20s and bleeding continued. So 2 weeks ago I was given a dose of Methotrexate (obviously sad now needing to wait 3mos to TTC again) to hopefully end this entire saga. My blood test yesterday now has gone to 16 (from 20 the last few weeks) but bleeding still hasn’t stopped with occasional small clots throughout the day.

Just wanted to hopefully find comfort in having heard of a similar situation as my OB keeps saying this is all a mystery to her 😆

Just saw an acquaintance and her husband’s big long surprise 4th pregnancy announcement post on instagram… yesterday of all days. Would have been due around the same time as my mmc this summer, which would have been my 4th too. Of all the days. Pregnancy and infant loss awareness day? I know it has to be obliviousness and not intentional but damn it upset me.

I lit a candle in remembrance of my miscarriage. October is infant/child loss awareness month, they say to light a candle on the 15th at 7pm.

It’s been so hard. I cry and think about my baby often. I lost them before I found out their gender. Their nickname was Goat (for the year of the Goat, they would’ve been born in). Their name was either going to be Vincent or Daphne. I miss you Goat, I’ll love you forever.

My heart goes out to all of us that are hurting and missing a loved one ❤️

I have been with my husband for almost 10 years and a year ago I became pregnant for the first time. Had a missed MC at 11 weeks and i ended up passing it naturally at home the night after we saw there was no heartbeat on the ultrasound and the entire experience was very traumatic. After that, all I could think about was how badly I wanted my baby back and so we tried again after my first cycle and I got pregnant again. Lost the second pregnancy at 8 weeks and got a d&c for that one. This was in January.

Our plan was to try again next summer. I’ve started EMDR therapy to help me get over my fear of being pregnant again. But I’m going to be honest… I don’t know if I even want to have children anymore. I’m 28, so I still have time to decide. But as time goes on, and I have started feeling more like myself again (I got really into fitness and lost 30 lbs, fell in love with reading books again, gone on some pretty cool trips, etc), I have really enjoyed the freedom of not thinking about TTC. My sister in law also just had her third baby and experienced some complications on top of problems with her living children, and I found myself thinking terrible thoughts like… at least I don’t have to deal with any problems like that. Even though I would’ve done anything to have met my babies and been able to have them, the more time goes on the more I find I really enjoy all the freedom that me and my husband have, and I’m quite happy with just having two cats.

But then I worry about my future, and if we will feel empty if we don’t have children. Though I don’t really think that would be the case as I know a few child free couples who seem pretty happy. I just don’t know anymore. I used to have a pretty significant longing to have our own family, and now I’m just a fencesitter.

I just want to share a positive experience with a D&C in case anyone is nervous about it. I like all of the information I can find before going through something so I’ll try to provide the level of detail I wish I could have found before the procedure.

On 10/8 I went for my first ultrasound, supposed to be 7w4d pregnant. I expected to see a heartbeat and a little wriggling baby but instead we got a horrible scan with a horrible sonographer. Her exact words were “I see no evidence of a pregnancy in your uterus. Are you sure?” There was some concern about the appearance of cystic tissue but my doctor suspected it was just the retained products of conception breaking down and wanted to monitor my HCG levels. On 10/12, they came back around 20k and on 10/14 they were around 22k. My doctor called me right away and because he was concerned about a molar pregnancy, he wanted me to have a D&C ASAP.

They scheduled me for first thing, 6:30am yesterday morning. I couldn’t eat anything for 8 hours before the procedure - I wasn’t hungry anyway. I barely slept - I was nervous but not sure why. We got to the hospital and we had to go to the Labor and Delivery floor which was such a slap in the face to walk past the nursery and rooms that had moms with their new babies in them. The nursing staff was kind and understanding of our situation. They confirmed my details, I changed into a gown, and the RN put an IV in my hand. They did labs and bloodwork to confirm my blood type. Because of the risk of heavy bleeding with a molar pregnancy removal, they needed to have blood products ready in case I needed a transfusion. I do not think that is typical for every D&C but I could be wrong. I was emotional and crying throughout but the staff was so kind and supportive. My main nurse gave me tissues and sat on the bed and held my hand. She reassured me that everything I was feeling was normal.

The anesthesiologist came in and asked me a bunch of questions and confirmed I hadn’t eaten anything. He informed me of the risks and assured me this is a simple and quick procedure. I did not need to be intubated - they just used a device that sits in the back of your mouth to help you breathe (not completely sure how it works). My doctor came in shortly after and checked in with us. I had started bleeding that morning so he said he was relieved we were getting the procedure done.

They gave me a dose of Versed before rolling me into the OR and I literally started laughing - it was so euphoric and I felt so calm. Once in the OR, they helped me move onto the surgical bed and put an oxygen mask on my face. I started crying and the nurse stroked my hair and told me everything was going to be okay. I don’t remember anything beyond that.

My surgical notes said they used half size dilators to open my cervix to an 8 and used a suction curette and did three passes of suction, they reevaluated with a sharp curette and found more tissue so they made two more suction passes. One final pass and there was minimal amounts of blood and my doctor finished the procedure.

I woke up in recovery and was very tired and out of it. The anesthesiologist came in and I honestly don’t remember what he said. During this time, my OBGYN went and spoke with my husband and said he was very happy with the procedure (I was out a total of 17 minutes). He said he expects the testing of the tissue to come back as an abnormal miscarriage but not molar. I guess with molar pregnancies, there is a ton of bleeding during the procedure and I had minimal.

They wheeled me back to my room and gave me some water. Once I tolerated that, I got some crackers. As I was recovering, I felt a massive gush of what I thought was blood. When the nurse helped me get up, I saw a massive puddle of red/brown liquid that was probably the same diameter as a mini watermelon - I was so alarmed. She explained they use a ton of antiseptic and that’s what the gush was. My butt and legs were brown/yellow from leftover antiseptic. The nurse helped me pee, I got dressed, she removed my IV, and I was on my way. I was able to walk to the car on my own. I had a little bit of spotting that day and minimal cramping. Now over 24 hours later, spotting has stopped but I still have some light cramping. Sometimes I get a cramp that catches my breath but it goes away quickly.

Yesterday after I got home, I was amped up and almost manic. I was talkative, happy, and running miles a minute. I thought it was odd - I expected to be more tired. I had a hard time sleeping last night too. These things are side effects of the anesthesia and steroids.

I had read that sometimes after this procedure you “crash” emotionally and that was the case for me today. It’s been hard to control my emotions and I have felt a little unhinged. Part of this is also likely that I’ve been so worried about my own health over the last week with the potential molar pregnancy that I haven’t been able to think too much about the loss. A lot of it has hit me today but I’m trying to be kind to myself and just let the feelings move through and process them.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have or message me if you’d like. I just wanted to share a positive experience - I would do the procedure all over again in a heartbeat. In a weird way, it felt “nice” to have it done. Not sure how to explain it. Now we wait for the tissue testing to come back in the next two weeks and pray it isn’t molar. I’m trying to stay busy and not think about it too much.

Had my 4th loss, this was a chemical, about 2.5 weeks ago. I got a positive LH test this Tuesday so we decided to try again, but then I started having light brown spotting Wednesday night and the past 2 mornings. Should we have taken the month off?😵‍💫 Or just keep pushing forward and start progesterone suppositories as I normally would?