I don't really get the appeal or it, and most things I've heard or seen of it look pretty painful or unpleasant, and also very exposing when it comes to sex, but so many people enjoy it, so I just wanted to know what it was like from a different point of view

P.S. People can be as crude or graphic in their answers as they want! I've just been really curious about this for a while bc the whole concept of sex sounds like a nightmare to me, but most people describe it like its life changing and i am just like pretty curious about sex and like the Mechanics of it, just not for myself

oh, btw I'm a lesbian if that matters!

also also! i would appreciate answers outside of "bc it feels good" or "bc of chemicals in the brain that-" because i already know that and want to know what YOU think about it or of it and your experience!

I am a trans guy and I am finally getting around to writing the book I've had in my head for ages. My goal is to write more fantasy books with more trans/non-binary representation, with a more specific goal of the characters just living in the world and their identity not being the point of the story.

TLDR The main character (MC) helps spark a rebellion, leads it with their love interest (who is a man), and progressively becomes more and more corrupt throughout the novel (the man becomes corrupt as well).

I am not concerned about my ability to write a character like this. I am very worried about people reading it and misinterpreting it as an excuse to hate on non-binary people, no matter how well the character is written and despite the fact that them turning villainous has nothing to do with their gender identity. I do have several other characters in the book as trans & under the non-binary umbrella, who aren't going to turn evil, so it is not like MC is the only one.

Unfortunately I have seen this happen for similar instances before, and I wanted to get external opinions to see if it is a valid concern or if I am overthinking it.

1- why are there more gay people than lesbians ? especially in the united states ?

2- why are the divorce rates for lesbian couples the highest ? i’ve had people telling me about this recently and it’s honestly causing me to be worried because i’m in a relationship with a woman that i want to take seriously for once but after hearing this fact it instilled paranoia in my mind . is it true that lesbians have the highest divorce rates ?

The fan-fiction community in general believes anything goes. I wanted to ask what you personally felt about it.

I don't think it's a yes or no situation so I wanted to give some examples of what I mean:

1. De transitioning Lena Raine in 'what if' art or transitioning " insert non trans person "

2. Writing stories were Queen Latifah is bisexual or straight

3. Drawing art of 'insert straight actor' and 'insert gay actor' being intimate.

I was just thinking to myself about whether labeling one's sexuality is actually helpful. I decided to look up the opinions of queer people, and a lot of them said that it can be very useful when somebody is trying to figure out their sexuality.

Then it hit me... What does it actually MEAN to figure out your sexuality?

For me, there was no questioning. I don't even think about it. Usually, I'm attracted to women, but sometimes I'll be attracted to a man.

I never had to sit down and ask myself "Do I like women AND men?" because, well, yeah. I do.

So it's strange to me that people say questioning your sexuality is important because... To me it just seems like figuring out which box you fit in the most. Which brings me back to how I started this post. (It's all just circular reasoning, isn't it...)

Anyway, maybe I'm wrong! Maybe I'm a fucking idiot! But I just don't understand this, because it just seems like a roundabout way of defining a concept that doesn't even need defining in the first place.

EDIT: I'm just talking about sexuality here! Not gender!

I feel so confused right now.
I, 17 f, have been questioning for a few years my sexuality, I feel like I'm sexually attracted to women but I can't know for sure since I've never been in a relationship, right?
I've never liked anybody and the closest thing I've had to a crush was probably aesthetic attraction towards a girl from my school.

I'm afraid that I think I may be queer only because I've spent so much time wondering who I'm attracted to, and finding out that I'm straight would feel like I've wasted my time (and it would also kinda feel disappointing tbh).

I don't usually open up about this stuff because I don't want to feel like an attention seeker, but for some reason I got the urge to tell my parents (maybe because it was starting to weight on me or because I want them to be prepared in case I actually get a girlfriend).

My dad was accepting but my mom is still not really convinced I suppose?
She keeps asking questions and I don't feel comfortable answering them.

But now I'm afraid that I've actually lied to everyone and That I've caused such a big scene for nothing and I have no idea how to feel.

So this might just come from a lot of insecurity on my part but i'm genuinely wondering if cis gay men would actually ever go for a trans guy.

I myself am 26 years of age and only like 4'11 and pre-T. I've been going out to clubs and parties and I dont seem to be having any luck with any guy, cis or trans. I admittedly don't approach people easily but I do try my best. Is there something i'm doing wrong? or is dating as a trans guy really supposed to be this miserable?

Speaking as a straight woman, I had my first crush on a boy in preschool when I was probably 3-4 years old. I know from an extremely early age I was attracted to boys. So it surprises me to hear things from LGB people saying “this picture was in middle school before I knew I was gay” or “my bullies knew I was gay before I did”.

Do some people genuinely not know they’re attracted to the same sex during childhood/teen years? Did the fact that heterosexual relationships are the “default” make it so that you mischaracterized your same sex attraction as just friendship or appreciation? Were you just genuinely not attracted to the same sex until you hit puberty? I’m so curious

I don't even know if I am gay—I don't want to be a man, I'd probably be masc agender if I could, but that I'm not going to do that because of whatever the fuck, and I'm a NEET and haven't left my room since 5th grade, am 21, so who fucking cares—but I think I am, or maybe I'm asexual, maybe bi, who cares.

I never really had any exposure to the possibility of being gay—my uncle was, but I moved away, far away, when I was like 8 or whatever—and the only thoughts I think I had that maybe means I am gay, is that I never had crushes on anyone, but I remember having weird feelings towards particular boys in my classes in my brief school years—I quit school after 5th grade basically—a soft spoken boy who I admired in some way, different then other boys and the girls of our class treated him differently, like he was softer, they treated him with a kind of gentleness—this was kindergarten. Another boy in 7th grade(?) who I think I thought of as pretty in an abstract way, he had long nails and was small. Another was in 6th grade(?) I actually think I thought they were beautiful, but I remember I said that I was hot, as in temperature, and they looked at me and said that I'm not. I remember it so that must mean it was important in some way, idk.

Anyways, I don't know what the fuck I am. It doesn't matter. I was exposed to queer male relationships via fanfic, specifically Naruto x Sasuke type shit, I thought it made a lot more sense in my head, the relationship, and it would legitimately make me cry while reading it—I was an adolescent at the time. I then started looking for it in a bunch of fanfics of separate fandoms, and I noticed that they were all mostly written by women, or all of them; this made me feel weird, like maybe I'm not actually gay and maybe I am just fetishising queer people because I'm disgusting (don't know if I am or not still). This bothers me a lot; I was SA as a child, by a teenage boy, and parts of me thinks that maybe I thinl I think I'm gay because of that, when really I'm just reliving that because I feel nothing all the time, and consuming media like gay media, and fetish shit like bdsm and rape, is the only way to make me feel anything—shame, arousal, or whatever. I only really consume gay sexual content.

Anyway, back to the title. I found out that every gay thing I consumed was made by women, for women—and the sexualisef shit prevalent in slash, like rape, bdsm, dom and sub dynamics, is also written by and for women. I don't know if I am actually gay, but the more I keep seeing this stuff, stuff like Hazbin Hotel which seems to me this fetish material of exclusively gay men going through rape, trauma, and just horrible shit, written by a lesbuan woman, makes me feel more and more possessive and angry over my perceived identy of queerness, I don't fucking know. It makes me feel like a whore, like they are using gay men to consume with lust, putting them in disgusting situations and getting something out of it. It is like when straight men write lesbian things—it feels as disgusting, dehumanizing, and objectifying, when I see women writing the experience of being gay, and being raised as a man.

I don't know if this is correct, if I am just disgusting and wrong. Idk.

And then also online you have a straight people fetishising femboys and twinks, I wrote a post about it on my profile. Also fetishising trans women too. It's just all disgusting. I also see queer men fetishising straight people as like turning them gay—it feels weird and like conquestinh weird shit, idk. I told you I feel possessive over gayness, it just disgusts me, all of this.

Idk. I was going to write even more, bring up counters to things I have seen online about people defending this, but I don't care. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm just a sensitive, prude, misogynisict leech. Probably.

NO TLDR, I don't even know what I am talking about.

Edit:

I was downvoted, I don't know. It doesn't matter. What was the point? What's the point? I was downvoted again. How fun. How funny. Please keep doing it, downvote my whore body—fuck me with what’s wrong with me. Make me kill myself. I'm tired of being. I'm tired.

Hey

I made this post while being very lost about my own identity

I've always been a lesbian, most of my life I think, always been sure about that, and it hasn't changed since then

It's really comforting for me to stick to that label, I feel better that way than being unlabeled

But, I had some phases where I would go very masculine, I thought it was just some phases we all mostly have during adolescence when being a lesbian

But idk, recently it got worst, I started going out completely masculine, mustache, binding etc

I use masculine pronouns on myself

It's very confusing to me

I think I've been using neutral pronouns and identity for a year or two now

But I would oftenly lead to more fem identity

And right now, I feel like I want to be recognised as a man fully

But I don't want to throw away my lesbian label, I know it might sounds stupid but it's really restraining me

Anybody went through the same ?

Over last couple months I 19m have started experimenting with dressing, more feminine in private.
And I’ve loved it and been happier then ever even thought I’m fem only in private. But I hate that. I hate how much I want to be feminine in public to be happy. I don’t know what to do I don’t know how I should feel about this. I’m just confused and am so conflicted.

I am a straight guy and i´m 15. I recently met a trans guy. He hasn’t really started transitioning yet but has the intention to eventually do it. We started talking and became best friends. Very early on, he told me that he is trans. He is open about it with close friends and i totally support him.

I feel conflicted because I kind of like him, but I’ve always considered myself straight, and I feel that I only like the feminine aspects of him. And that is weird because I feel that I don’t really like him for who he really is. I don’t think I really like HIM, but the other version of him, and I feel bad about it.

And to add to the situation, I recently discovered that he likes me (he’s gay). I’m pretty sure he knows I’m straight, which makes the situation even weirder. If he doesn’t know, then I think I should tell him, but I don’t really think that’s the case.

Any advice on my situation? I dont know how to feel or what to do.

Idk how to start this but basically I never had any crushes and would often pick a random person and call it a day. I only fell in love with the same gender (girl) and it took me a year to realize that. Honestly I don’t think I lack any romantic attraction? I don’t find romance boring and I can’t say I’m a lesbian if I never really cared about gender

I flirted with an Irish gal at a Halloween party for the bookstore last Thursday. It was a good time. But I feel all these emotions that I haven’t felt in a long time. The Irish gal is pansexual and she liked my bookish flirting style. And she is coming to the bookstore this week.

Who am i ,I am really confused

I certainly belive that it does. But I've seen alot of people say that it shouldn't because of the chance that kids could be there, which i belive is pretty irrelevant since kink gear has been present at festivals since the begging and I personally belive it's weirder to change that then for people to accept that not every place can be kid appropriate.

does a transgender culture exist?

Apart from the mainstream, white cis-dominated LGBTQ culture and political movement... is there a discernible transgender culture? As in values, rituals, customs, etc. that we collectively share as trans and non-binary people? Or, perhaps a loose collection of subcultures?

I'm a gay high schooler in South Korea (Gay marriage isn't legal but being gay isn't persecuted. Most people are homophobic). I think I should go to a college in the US because I feel like I can be more open there and be able to date. I've recently come out to my parents, and they don't think that way. They think the US might be better on legal standards, and outwards appearance, but people are still homophobic and just keep it to themselves, and it's going to be difficult either way. They also said that I might face more violence there (since Korea is very safe in general). They said I'm idealizing a fantasy.

I always thought that being gay in the US is mostly accepted now, and young people aren't that homophobic. And since a lot of people are out (I've read near 10% for Gen Z men) most people would have at least met a gay guy before (Practically no one is out here, so coming out would be a terrible idea and I would also have to stay under the radar and date secretly).

Which do you think is more correct? Is it not that good in the US? Can you be out without much fear, and can you date like it's sort of normal?

TL;DR: My parents think that the US isn't that much better for me, a gay guy, than South Korea. Is it?

I'm mostly thinking about Northern/Western states and colleges, in places like Boston.

(This actually happened about 2 years ago, but I'm just now remembering the incident so I wanted to ask others for their opinion on the situation so I know how to move forward in the future. )

I (F) decided to sublet my apartment to a trans woman for a summer and my roommate (F) took issue with this. I told her before I started looking for someone that I will try my best to find a woman, but if I can't, I will sublet to a man because I really can't afford to pay two different rents while interning in another area. (My roommate and I share a bathroom, so she would have to share the bathroom with whoever the subletter is).

I understand the inconvenience/worry of having to share a bathroom with a straight man, but tbh I feel like I wouldn't care or worry as much if they were anyone other than a straight man. But when I told her the subletter was a trans woman she freaked out a little and didn't say much to me afterward because she knew I was going to go through with it anyway because I need someone to cover my rent here. She asked me though if the subletter seemed to act "normal"? I knew she was a little upset, but I was kind of confused because why is the fact that she's a trans woman scaring you? Like i understand she has male genital anatomy... but... she's still a woman??

I thought I held the majority opinion until I started asking other people about the situation. I was telling my other two roommates about how she reacted and they took her side and were like "Yeah I'd also be concerned about sharing a bathroom with a trans woman" and "Idk if they're normal or like a weirdo". And then I asked my sister and she agreed with them too?!? My sister said that her personal reasoning behind it was that people in the lgbtq+ community statistically tend to face higher rates of mental health issues so she would be more concerned about living with someone in that community rather than a straight, cis person.

I know there's going to be some bias in the responses since I literally posted in the AskLGBT community, but I didn't know where else to ask. Am *I* in the wrong for thinking they shouldn't freak out over this? Are *they* in the wrong for assuming these things about the subletter?

In the end, it turned out fine because my roommate ended up loving the subletter and they became friends. But I feel like I was the bad guy in the apartment for a while because I was doing something no one wanted. How else was I supposed to pay an extra $1000/month??

Even if it was a straight man and something happened to my roommate, I don't know if I would be the one to blame for that because how would I have known?? (unless they seemed creepy/predatory beforehand) Idk. I am always trying to be a better human and friend, so please let me know if there was anything else I could have done.

So no idea where else to post this but i want to know am i bi for finding girls with male genitalia attractive. Please someone answer this and please don’t judge me. Thanks in advance

Hello all. I've been queer for a long time now (I don't like labels) but I haven't really needed to come out to my parents because everyone I would be seeing was either nonbinary or female but I have been talking with this guy and things are getting serious. The only issue is that I haven't come out to my parents not because they're homophobic but because I know they would treat my differently. Not in a negative way but they would almost start to coddle me or treat this as some big thing when I just want them to treat me like they did the day before. I know this is the biggest first world problem and people only dream of their parents reacting in the way I don't want them to but I just want to know if this is a common thing?

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Like, I feel romantic attraction for people (rarely), and when I do, I usually don't feel sexual attraction to them. But I do have a kinky side and I do have fetishes. Lately it's been getting kind of out of hand, which I think correlates with my rise in stress recently. I've been perpetually stressed for a while now, so is it possible that I'm asexual and I've developed kink as a coping mechanism for that stress? (Sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask on this subreddit, but I'm genuinely confused)

I use the microlabel berrysexual, which is under the umbrella of bisexuality. I just realized looking at all the people (and characters) that I've been attracted to...are feminine. Is there a label for this or no