I'm 20 years old and a student. I've been struggling with depression and other mental health issues since last year, and I've been taking medication for them. Honestly, I'm emotionally exhausted, and I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling anymore.

I've started feeling like I don't want to live anymore. Sometimes, I think that if I could give my life to someone who genuinely wants to live, I would do it. I feel so tired of my life and everything I'm going through.

I've also realised that my friendships feel one-sided. My friends rarely reach out to me first. I'm always the one who messages them, makes plans, or tries to stay connected. Sometimes, I wonder whether anyone would even notice if I stopped making an effort.

The hardest part is that I don't feel like I have anyone who genuinely listens to me. I go to a government hospital for treatment, but even there, I sometimes feel unheard. Once, I wrote down everything I was feeling and showed it to my psychologist because I thought it might help them understand me better. They barely glanced at it, and I felt like they hadn't even properly read what I'd written. It took a lot for me to put my feelings into words, so that experience really hurt me.

Another thing I've noticed is that I don't feel comfortable around people anymore, but I don't enjoy being alone either. When I'm around people, I feel disconnected and lonely, as if I don't really belong anywhere. But when I'm alone, my thoughts and feelings become overwhelming. It's like I want company, but at the same time, I don't have the energy or desire to be around anyone.

I see people around me moving forward with their lives, studying, making friends, achieving things, and enjoying their twenties. Meanwhile, I feel stuck. I keep wondering why everything seems so difficult for me when other people appear to be doing just fine.

I'm also worried about my education and my future. I have dreams, but sometimes my mental health makes even the smallest steps feel incredibly difficult. I'm scared of falling further behind in life.

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this kind of loneliness, where you don't feel comfortable either with people or by yourself. I don't know how to explain it, but it's exhausting.

I'm not writing this because I expect strangers on the internet to solve my problems. I think I just want to feel heard for once. Maybe someone who has been through something similar can help me understand these feelings or share what helped them.

Has anyone else ever felt lonely around people and lonely when they're alone, too? How did you deal with it?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who understands.

36M autistic, I turn 37 exactly one week from now on Saturday the 24th. This year has been the worst year of my whole life, and the stress and depression has been unbearable.

I am not sure what to do. Maybe just want to talk. I feel like not wanting this birthday and do not want to live through what is likely to be the worst birthday of my life.

Life is genuinely so hard. I’m so tired of people telling me things will get better because when? I’m so, so exhausted. I’m tired of living in this constant cycle of pain, loneliness and heartbreak. Everyone leaves me. I have absolutely no one, and I genuinely feel like no one likes me. No matter how hard I try, I always end up alone. People say the most horrible things about me, to the point where sometimes I don’t even want to leave my house. I constantly question what’s so wrong with me and why I’m never good enough for anyone. I’m tired of crying, overthinking and feeling this constant heaviness in my chest. I just want to feel loved and wanted for once. If it wasn’t for my faith, God knows where I’d be right now. I’m genuinely so tired of everything. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I guess I just want someone to hear me because I have nobody.

Nothing make sense now-a-days. Nothing makes me happy Nothing makes me Sad. Working Feel alot of work and Then When I am in bed I spend 2 days straight in bed just getting out for breakfast, dinner and bathroom breaks and then not working feels alot. I don't know what I am doing to my life.

Whatever I do is never enough all I get to hear is that I'm careless and irresponsible tho I'm constantly working on it . Nobody acknowledges my efforts and actions. I'm very cautious in whatever I do just so nobody gets angry or md but all they tend to see are my flaws . They have problems in what ever I do .

I'm going through a weird mix of sweet and sour feelings right now, and I could use some outside perspective.

I'm 22, she's 24, and she's the first person I've dated where I've started questioning whether being a good person and being compatible with someone are two completely different things.

A little background: I've already finished college, and I'm currently applying to graduate school. I'm doing a research internship, and I spend a lot of my free time reading, watching old movies, studying Latin for fun, and generally being a bit of a nerd. I'm not particularly exciting, and I'd probably describe myself as a pretty boring, consistent person. I like intellectual conversations, learning things, and being curious about the world.

She's still in university, has BPD, and is planning to spend three months in the US soon. I live in Latin America, so that's going to be another challenge for us. I also have a vasectomy and don't plan on getting married anytime soon. We've talked about this, and while she says she doesn't want children either, she does want to get married. I don't, at least not in the foreseeable future. So, realistically, I suspect we might have an expiration date, even if neither of us wants to acknowledge it yet.

But the biggest issue isn't the distance or even our different plans for the future. It's our conversations.

I feel like most of our conversations revolve around her, her feelings, her experiences, and how she's dealing with things. I don't mind being there for my partner, but she rarely asks me questions about myself, my work, my interests, or even how I think about things. I genuinely can't remember another person I've dated who seemed so uninterested in asking questions about me.

And I don't mean that she has to be interested in my research specifically. I mean that feeling of someone being curious about your inner world. Asking why you think the way you do, what you care about, what you want to accomplish, or what you find interesting about something.

Our intellectual conversations are almost nonexistent. We mostly talk about gossip and everyday drama, and honestly, I'm getting tired of it. We have great sex, so maybe that's part of why the relationship works as well as it does. We have physical chemistry, she's pretty, and there are sweet moments. But outside of that, I'm struggling to identify what makes me feel deeply connected to her.

Our interests and worldviews are also pretty different. She enjoys Fast & Furious, Bad Bunny, reggaeton, astrology, and manifestation. I enjoy some pretty different things. I'm not saying her interests are inferior or that mine make me smarter than her. People can enjoy whatever they want. But I think I'm realizing that I want a partner with whom I can share more of my intellectual interests and have conversations that make me think.

I want to feel that excitement of discovering how someone's mind works, hearing their perspective, and wanting to keep talking to them for hours. I want to admire the way my partner thinks, not just find them attractive or enjoy spending time with them.

And I don't really feel that with her.

Part of me feels horrible even writing this. I know that enjoying different things doesn't make someone less intelligent, and I don't want to become the kind of person who thinks having a good GPA, doing research, or applying to prestigious graduate schools makes me inherently better than someone else. But another part of me wonders whether I've started realizing that I need a different kind of compatibility than I initially thought.

I'm working in research with a Harvard professor, applying to graduate school, and pursuing things that genuinely excite me. I want to be able to share that part of my life with someone. I don't need a partner with the same résumé or career ambitions, but I do want someone who is curious about what I do and has a rich inner world of her own that I can explore, too.

I also catch myself thinking that I could probably find someone I'm more intellectually compatible with. And then I feel awful, because that sounds arrogant and dismissive, especially when she's not a bad person. She's perfectly fine in many ways. She's attractive, we have chemistry, and I don't want to reduce her to the things we don't have in common.

Her BPD also means that I sometimes worry about how a breakup would affect her, although I know I can't make relationship decisions solely around that fear.

I think the uncomfortable truth might be that she's a good-looking person I enjoy having sex with, but I'm not sure I actually enjoy talking to her enough to build a life together. And since we already have some pretty significant differences regarding marriage and our future, I don't know whether I'm just delaying the inevitable.

Has anyone experienced this? How do you distinguish between being unnecessarily judgmental and recognizing that someone simply isn't compatible with you? Am I expecting too much from a relationship, or am I realizing that physical chemistry and affection aren't enough for me?

Everything is so wrong

I am 36M, turning 37 soon. My bırthday is on the 24th, less than 2 weeks from now. I am dreading my 37th bırthday and feel like I do not want this bırthday at all.

I feel awful and hopeless. Just wanting to talk, as I have no friends and thus no support system whatsoever.

I feel like i don’t know empty. Lonely. A void. I have a headache. My sleep schedule is messed up. I feel like a failure. Months of preparation for my admission exam destroyed my mental health and even after all that, I might not get admission to a good med uni. I don’t know what to think or do.

At times, the sadness is too empowering. I don’t know what to do to solve it. I don’t have many friends because most of them went offline after exams and didn’t come back online. I honestly don’t know what to do to feel better on average. The things I used to love I have no interest in anymore. I don’t know how to recover. I feel…..lost.

I started doing it a few days ago. I was cleaning underneath my bed. I was trying to reach something at the end and I found myself in the middle of the space. It felt huge. It felt vast. It felt safe.

Got this bedframe a few months ago by mistake thinking I was going to use the space underneath as space for my stuff but didn't really end up putting a lot of boxes or bags. Didn't expect I would end up like this after all these years of trying to deal with my issues.

I feel like this is absurd but so far I feel at ease. Anybody else feel the same? Save me if not.