(This actually happened about 2 years ago, but I'm just now remembering the incident so I wanted to ask others for their opinion on the situation so I know how to move forward in the future. )

I (F) decided to sublet my apartment to a trans woman for a summer and my roommate (F) took issue with this. I told her before I started looking for someone that I will try my best to find a woman, but if I can't, I will sublet to a man because I really can't afford to pay two different rents while interning in another area. (My roommate and I share a bathroom, so she would have to share the bathroom with whoever the subletter is).

I understand the inconvenience/worry of having to share a bathroom with a straight man, but tbh I feel like I wouldn't care or worry as much if they were anyone other than a straight man. But when I told her the subletter was a trans woman she freaked out a little and didn't say much to me afterward because she knew I was going to go through with it anyway because I need someone to cover my rent here. She asked me though if the subletter seemed to act "normal"? I knew she was a little upset, but I was kind of confused because why is the fact that she's a trans woman scaring you? Like i understand she has male genital anatomy... but... she's still a woman??

I thought I held the majority opinion until I started asking other people about the situation. I was telling my other two roommates about how she reacted and they took her side and were like "Yeah I'd also be concerned about sharing a bathroom with a trans woman" and "Idk if they're normal or like a weirdo". And then I asked my sister and she agreed with them too?!? My sister said that her personal reasoning behind it was that people in the lgbtq+ community statistically tend to face higher rates of mental health issues so she would be more concerned about living with someone in that community rather than a straight, cis person.

I know there's going to be some bias in the responses since I literally posted in the AskLGBT community, but I didn't know where else to ask. Am *I* in the wrong for thinking they shouldn't freak out over this? Are *they* in the wrong for assuming these things about the subletter?

In the end, it turned out fine because my roommate ended up loving the subletter and they became friends. But I feel like I was the bad guy in the apartment for a while because I was doing something no one wanted. How else was I supposed to pay an extra $1000/month??

Even if it was a straight man and something happened to my roommate, I don't know if I would be the one to blame for that because how would I have known?? (unless they seemed creepy/predatory beforehand) Idk. I am always trying to be a better human and friend, so please let me know if there was anything else I could have done.

I'm 18M and really only attracted to men sexually, but I only feel like I could be in a relationship with a woman (not internalized homophobia, lots of other reasons).I'm just wondering where I can find a girl who feels the same way, but idk where to start I'm just so scared I'II never find anyone. I know there has to be a girl who feels the same way, even if there is who knows if we'll be attracted to each other physically/emotionally just as like two straight people or two gay people won't necessarily be attracted to each other.
Please if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. I’m also not “out” and would prefer not to. (If it helps I’m in USA/Canada)

Hi, I’m a Cis male, I just saw an ad on face book for stand in pride, and I was wondering if it is legit?

I think it’s a great concept but don’t want to be another Cis white guy joining some feel good thing.

I want to know it actually serves this community because you are what matters.

I want it to actually make a difference to a real person.

I would absolutely love to be a stand in for anyone needing one and I hope this is legit.

A little about me 54 year old Army Veteran I served 21 years from 1989-2010 I am a husband and I am a father.

If STAND IN PRIDE is legit and y’all believe it makes a real impact let me know and I’ll sign up.

If you know of any other way I can help this community let me know.

I'm a cis straight ally girl, and i'm using xenopronouns bc i think they are fun to use (please, i hope i didn't sound cruel, if i did, please really sorry), but idk if using it or not being cisgender (it's she/her/mantis).

Please, i really need someone to help me and guide me. You can correct me if i'm wrong.

I hope i didn't sound disrespectful, i'm kinda ignorant on these topics.

I’m a 15-year-old girl and I’ve been lesbian for as long as I can remember. I live in a really homophobic country with strict Muslim parents, and lately I’ve been feeling so hopeless. My mom keeps talking about me getting married to a good man, and even though I love her and don't want to disappoint her, it feels so toxic. Sometimes I almost convince myself to just give up and go along with it, even though I know that’s not what I want.  And I know I won’t end up marrying a man. And I also know that I have to be financially independent and all that before ever thinking of coming out or anything.

I find so much comfort in hearing about other people's coming out stories the good and the bad ones. It makes me feel so much less alone, and it gives me hope that if other people made it through and built a life for themselves, I can too.
If you’ve ever moved out or came out, I’d really love to hear your story. I desperately want to know how it actually felt when you finally left a homophobic place behind and could just be yourself fully without people constantly up your ass about it.

Also, for anyone who’s been to a Pride event, what was it like being surrounded by those huge crowds flooding the streets during Pride month? How did that feel for the first time? 

Any stories or perspective would mean the world right now.

gay men, would you date or hook up with a ftm trans man? for this question he would be on testosterone and had top surgery. asking for a friend...

Looking for ideas or events where I can meet genuine people to make friends and who want to take it very slow with getting to know each other. I'm not a club or bar type person. I love nerdy things, reading, music and video games. I like trying new foods and new things in general. Im neurodivergent, demisexual, nonbinary lesbian and in my late 20s. I'm on my journey of leaving my family's cult/religion and moving out. It's a long process but I'd like to have some ideas before hand. So I wanted to know where I could meet new people similar to me who are also patient and kind.

Hi your friendly neighborhood bisexual here!

I have been sewing and doing basic clothing alterations for my partner for some time and it was recently suggested to me that I put together a small guide/zine for Gender Affirming clothing alterations tips and resources.

I've done some brainstorming on possible subjects (see below) but would really love some feedback on formatting, narrowing things down, additional things to add, and possible distribution of the zine/guide itself.

Ideas I have so far:

Fit guide: how to know where something needs to be altered, sizing, and other considerations.

Alterations to accommodate larger and smaller sizes: lengthening/shortening and widening/taking in specific sections of an existing piece of clothing to customize fit.

Styling existing clothing: quick fixes and small projects using what you already own. (Examples putting together outfits, small easy sewing like turning pants into a skirt...ect.)

Accessibility considerations: finding in expensive materials, adding pockets, changing out fastenings, considerations for wheel chairs/mobile aids?, fidget jewelry ect.

List of Resources: where to find sewing tutorials and other community resources.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions and Thank you for your feedback!

I’m on hrt and have had many feelings and questions for a long time. I don’t know what I’m actually attracted to. I like the male appendage but not the look of a man. I like everything about a woman but it’s missing idk i realized I only wanted to be what I seen and can’t figure out what exactly I’m attracted to. I would appreciate any help.

So one of my (22M) really close friends (25F) is bi, and she asked me if I wanted to go to a low-key pride event with her for "moral support" and to maybe meet some of her new friends that will also be going. According to her its not like a massive parade or anything, but more so kind of a regional sort of thing? She hasn't fully told me the complete scope of it yet, just vaguely brought it up.

So I asked if that was ok, because I don't want to feel like I'm invading a sensitive space and yk respect and all that, and she told me that its totally normal and that people bring cishet friends, family, etc fairly often. I just wanna be respectful to others because its their space and yk basic human courtesy and whatnot. Idk man I'm not good with words lol.

Anyway, it does sound like it would be fun. Go out, meet some cool people, hang out, maybe make some new friends, etc. I just don't wanna look like a fish outta water lol.

Basically I guess what I'm tryna ask is: It wouldn't be like an invasion of space or anything if I were to go? I'm assuming that so long as I act like a mature human being and respect their space its all good, but the brain be overthinking stuff lol.

Also kind of side note, what flag is generally the best to fly to show support? I know the ally flag exists but I've also heard that some view it as more like performative, and that I should use the progress pride flag instead. Should I just go with the classic rainbow flag?

I feel this is more of a trans thing, but idk where to put this. I've been seeing this occasionally, but it'd be smth like this

gender is female pronouns are they/them or
gender is male pronouns are they/them

like I understand, people can use their own labels and such... like what are people trying to achieve here??? What are they thinking? No hate to those people, I swear.

I'm not from the UK, but quite frequently I read about anti trans laws in the UK, for example trans bans on public bathrooms or recently about the NHS forcing patients to use hospital spaces according to their gender assigned at birth.

Transphobia obviously exists everywhere, but in my homecountry I don't have the impression that this specific topic is nearly as much discussed in politics and media as it is in the UK.

Would you agree? And if so, why could this be the case?

Ok so (for context I am a gay trans guy and my bf is a pan trans guy) there's this girl lets call her daisy (not her real name obvs im not out here to share personal details im js here to vent) i know i wouldnt rlly consider her my friend particularly not now but i met her through my boyfriend and she was like tollerable at first shall we say BUT recently shes been a whole nother person, like there has been a noticable switch up and shes js generally salty now. Basically when me and my bf first got together she used to try make us do couply stuff and she called it cute anytime we did act rlly coupley but now she will start being rlly homophobic to us or screaming and i mean goddam SCREAMING our deadnames at us bc she js learnt mine though she already knew his and was yelling it at him before to try and like fit in to the transphobes ig but she keeps js like stating that shes homophbic and transphobic when LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED and she keeps sayign to us and out freinds that she hopes we break up or like horrible stuff happens to us and atp its js rlly grating. Im assuming sjes a red flag right... tho im highkey bad at social stuff so idk but what do yall think and any ideas on how to make her stop cuz weve asked her and granted she had tamed herself a bit but shes still lmost js as bad, srry for bad spelling and anything helps thx random peeps on the internet :)

I am 19m, I dont label my sexuality but I'm probably bi. I had a girlfriend that I had recently broken up with about a month ago. The break up was not easy for her as she was very attached to me. The same day I broke up with her was the day I had introduced her to my best friend (also 19m). My friend has told me before that he's been questioning his sexuality for a little while now, and he will get in relationships with women while also telling me that he is uninterested in them and does not have actual feelings for them.

He was very persistent about wanting me and my (now ex) girlfriend to break up with one another. I broke up with her because the relationship was unhealthy, but my friend didn't know a lot of details about it and really just didn't want me to date her. Even before i told him who she was or anything about her, he didn't seem to really "approve" of our relationship or want me to date her. Right after i broke up with her, he dated her for two weeks without telling me until after they broke up. He clearly did not like her and has told me that he only dated her because he wanted her to not be in love with me. He had a fear that me and her would date again and he wanted to prevent this. My ex also told me that he would spend the relationship asking her a lot about what i'm like as a boyfriend, romantically and sexually, etc. Girls will ask him out on dates and he'll pretend to be interested but then cancel them so he can spend time with me.

Recently, every time we've been at my house together, he would consume a lot of THC and spend most of the night flirting with me, asking about my sexuality, saying he loves me and that he would consent to having sex with me, asking to hold my hand and nap in the same bed as me, etc. His relationships with women don't seem to last a long time honestly and neither of us have dated a guy before. He'll tell me that weed will just make him feel really loving towards me and thats why he acts like that, but i'm honestly wondering if he just dated my ex as a way to learn more about me as a partner and nothing else. He was clearly jealous of her, is this something common that people do when they're closeted? When they have feelings for a guy and don't want to admit to it, they'll instead date their ex girlfriend? He also didn't really flirt with me until after the situation with my ex happened.

I just posted this on the "too afraid to ask" subreddit and it was instantly deleted so I try here.

Please understand that I am genuinely asking the question even though I make a joke at the end.

I am straight but I saw a couple of TikToks insinuating that there are more bottoms than tops. The TikToks were talking about men, but just now I saw a meme on Reddit about how even lesbian trans women found themselves in bottom+bottom relationship more often than top+bottom.

How true is this?

Maybe I could consider downloading Grindr to help the cause lol jk jk unless?

Hi all! I am personally queer however i unfortunately don’t have many queer friends. I’m never looking to be “that person”, and I’m just wondering everyone’s opinions on bringing my straight friends, including some men to a gay bar and if that’s socially acceptable or if it gets side eyed.

Okay so like basically I’ve been a lesbian right. I’ve dated men before I realized that the common occurrence I had was that I just never found a true romantic interest in them. Like I thought I did, but I think I was just trying to please them. So I figured, oh yeah I just like girls then. And I do!! But like there’s this one guy that I don’t know if I like or not and I just don’t know. Like this has never happened before and it’s weird. Do I really like him in that way or do I just really adore him as a friend? And if I do like him I don’t think I’d do anything of it. I feel as if I’d be judged for saying that I’m not in fact lesbian after coming out. Idk. Help and advice needed.

Sincerely,

A very confused teen 💔

(I'm not sure if I should post this here or in a different community so bear with me.)

I've Been Pansexual for a while now and have been very quiet about it, but (From what I noticed) almost everyone at my school always says the F word around people who come out and just genuinely act homophobic. I can't even trust my friends anymore because they started acting like that too. I've been holding it in for a while, and just need to tell someone.

I'm really sorry if i disturbed anyone with this post, but I don't talk much in person, so this is essentially my voice and I really needed to tell someone.

Can someone explain as if you're talking to a 4 year old how using multiple pronouns work? If someone has, for example he/they pronouns how do you use both? Do you just change it randomly? each sentence? pick one and only use that? Do you use it like always saying he and them or always they and him for example or would that be he/them or they/him or something and is that even a thing, or is that just not how pronouns work? I dont know anyone who uses multiple pronouns, so i can't just ask someone spesific how it works for them spesifically, i'm just curious how it works in general.

Hey everyone! Hope everyone’s doing well, I just had a couple questions after hanging out with one of my friends today, for backstory I’ve identified as bisexual for about 3 or 4 years now, I’m a cis male, i also identify as asexual, and just recently I’ve experienced something that just has been quite hurtful, one of my friends a Trans woman, has just been saying a lot that I’ve been “Larping” even though I have found multiple men attractive, even though the last few partners I’ve had have been women, it’s because of this, that she feels as if I have been “larping” as part of the community, she also felt like I was “larping” being asexual due to having tried having relations with someone In previous, even though I tried and ended up not desiring it, and not wanting it, and she’s been told this multiple times by me, it just ends up being very hurtful to me, I’ve experimented with my identity as well, having for a time identified as aroace even though in the end I had ended up not feeling Aro, during the time I did which was about a period of 3-6 months I had bought a pride flag, that being the aroace flag, she found it today, and was just saying I’m not asexual, and I’m not aroace, albeit being aroace isn’t true, I’d mainly just like to know if anyone’s had similar experiences, and possibly how you’ve gone about handling it?

I’m not really able to come out or transition medically right now but I’ve done enough questioning and soul searching over time to know that I have a female soul and am attracted to guys. I have been dealing with dislike of my male body but I feel detached from it and I just try to “live with it” by not shaving my face or being a man in private some days but it often makes the distress worse. My “home” identity wise is Madeline the straight woman using she/her pronouns and I always come back to her even after trying everything. It’s been three years since my egg cracked for good and came out to family, one year since I first tried HRT and had to stop due to external circumstances after a few days, and five and a half years since I realized I was into guys and not really women.

I have this feeling of shame of identifying as a woman even though I’m in a male flesh suit and everyone loves me as a man, and on top of that I feel emotionally detached to myself for a long time which makes stuff like communicating feelings to the doctor/therapist and emotional/social stuff difficult. I’m afraid of being in conflict end rejected by all my family support and my jobs in real life. I’ve thought about being independent for a long time but I’m autistic and not sure if I’d survive without my family or at the bare minimum a roommate that is chill with autistic trans people. I’ve ruled out “gender ocd” (I’m on 300 mg ER of fluvoxamine and 5 different therapists hasn’t helped much to unpack stuff related to gender as they either have no clue or think I’m confused) and “being a feminine guy” (I don’t feel male or happy being seen as a man and I feel alienated by male social dynamics and the way men feel about their bodies and relationships, I’d rather be a woman in Walmart clothes than a cross dressing guy that puts a hatsune miku wig on)

Certain things feel good and most importantly normal, like putting a fake id with my actual name and gender in my pocket and wearing breast forms in private to help with my phantom breasts and hovering when at the bathroom instead of a urinal. I like seeing myself as a mom and “dad” just feels off to me even though I have a male body and everyone sees me as male, and I have intrusive thoughts about having crushes and intimacy with women which I don’t want to have even at 26 years old.

What sucks is being gendered as maam from behind but being called sir when I turn around.

I've seen them being overused for political rhetoric against trans people, especially by TERFs (or "gender-criticals" in its softer shape, same thing in the end), using the trick of take a specific cohort, ignore the ones that don't fit their narrative (e.g. detrans fof social pression) and ignore the counterexamples (e g. gay trans people, GNC trans people) so they can use it as representative for their political action and ideology (I have more reasons to consider TERFism a "cult" than, say, trans community, a judo of their own narrative).

That said, detrans side isn't saint on this. A lot of detrans figures are infamous for how transphobic they became and the detransition is being used politically as a pipeline. In the end, the outcome ends harming both trans and detrans. (Yeah, I edited this part because I realized of how bad the logic originally was).

For me, it's...sad. It's sad that them, who deserve care and attention as its own thing, are instead being used as a weapon for cultural war.

Also, it's sad how this also affects GNC and gay people by being used. I'm especially mad by how TERFs have adopted the figure of the tomboy because I AM ONE. And, by considering GNC and gay trans people exist, their rhetorical narrative of "conversion therapy" would collapse since transition would produce contradictory outcomes (conforming AND gender-nonconforming people, straight AND gay people), so their solution is discard them as "not actually what they say they are" before start.

At first i thought it was short for people who identify as xenomorphs