What would you have done differently ? I’m currently 34 with a great Mrs but the only part lacking is a lot of intimacy. I just don’t care for it much anymore. Is this normal ?

ATTENTION: This is for single guys only. I do not want to read any shit about 'my gf, my fiancee, my spouse, wife'!

I'm a mid 30s guy. My last and real relationship ended around a year ago, been dealing with that crap for some time and other stuff. I do not look forward to enter the garbage dating market right now and do not plan to at the moment. Under the week I'm basically fully booked most of the time: Work, gym, my local archery club and chores or appointments here and there keep me busy all the time.

But on the weekend I usually notice that I'm rather lonely. I've still got a few friends but some of them are completely caught up in family life and others I see like 2-3 times a year, sometimes more but even that is a stretch. On Sundays I often visit my parents but it feels like something, someone is missing. :/

I'm the "single friend" in my friend groups, and no matter how much I ask, no one ever wants me to bring anything to a get together beyond some chips. I try to help out in other ways with clean up and stuff but generally feel that I'm not really contributing.

I'd say I have average skill with cooking, I'm just generally uninspired and a bit lazy when I cook for myself. I'd like to stop asking and just start bringing easy-ish party snacks that don't include things I can buy in a bag at the store.

When you're invited to someone's house for a thing, what are you guys making and bringing?

Thanks for the ideas everyone

For the most part my sex drive is diminished and not nearly what it was in my 20s.
I can be passionate and in the moment and still have sex 1-2 times a week with small lulls.

But lately there are times where my lust goes from 0-100 In 2 seconds flat. I'm talking intrusive lustful desire amplified to 1000. It's fucking bizarre. I have never had lust hit me like a freight train this way. It's like I'll be chillin and then I see a sexy midriff or something mildly sexy and I go into overdrive in a way I never had. Not even in my teens can I remember such an overtaking feeling of sexual need. It's such an inherent need to pursue and for lack of a better term hunt. Even at my peak age and horniest I never felt that. WHAT GIVES?!

I started on Cialis 2.5mg for ED, but it gives me terrible back/hip pain. it was so bad it was interfering with my sleep and mood.

I stopped the Cialis and my doctor gave me Viagra 25mg which works great, the reason I wanted Cialis is I was really interested in the daily benefits.

Has anyone ever had this horrible back pain from Cialis then was able to start taking it again without back pain ?

English is my third language, so there will be some grammar mistakes, i imagine. I'm sorry in advance.

I ask this here because i'm not sure this relates to me being a man, or to me being a man over thirty, or if it's a regular type of behavior/feeling.

As a man of thirty-seven years old I was married and i promised - along with my wife - i'd love her forever, and whatever problem arrived we would discuss and solve it together. She agreed, we talked about how communication was important, and so it went. We did this when i was thirty-two.

We had some fights, we discussed, i said i'd adapt some things, she never aknowledge her flaws. I accepted for a while, but then tried talking in a more subtle way the things i had problems with, and every time she would get absolutely mad at me. I'd say in the nicest way possible, you could barely see it as criticising.

At some point i accepted i'd have to deal with some resentment it might build. I would not give up on her because of my promise. I was loyal to her, always, in a broad sense: loyal to her love, to her faithfulness, to her image. I did not change because of that, i kept showing my love as i always did before.

Eventually she distanced herself a bit, i asked if everything is ok, she started mentioning i don't do enough for her. I got a bit shocked since i can't think of a thing i didn't do for her. When i say that, i don't say it lightly: i did breakfast for her every single day of our marriage. I woke her up with hugs and kisses (because i always wake up earlier), i picked her up at work and would pick her up when she came at me. Since i worked from home, i did the house chores, along with everything else you can think of.

And then she started to hate me. I had no idea why, but she kept saying i didn't do things for her. I asked her what is she missing from me, she said 'if i say it's not authentic'. I was lost, i kept trying. She distanced more, to the point that some days she would wake up with a mosquito bite and start cursing me for letting a window open three nights ago, so i let them in. We didn't have sex for a few months already at this point.

I had to go to a work trip to another country. I went, second day she started ignoring me. Fourth day she finally said she wanted to divorce. I was destroyed, i asked what's wrong, i asked her to wait for me to go back, she said it's decided. I was in absolute pain, could barely do my work meetings, couldn't imagine my life in the future anymore. I tried talking to her, but she hated me with passion, it's like i had done things to her that only an absolute criminal would, it was absurd. I would stay two weeks in this trip.

For four more days we didn't speak. One day i called her to check how she was doing, she answered with a 'yeah?', i asked if everything is ok - once again, in absolute pain -, she said it's perfect. She said it's better than ever cause she didn't have anything she had to do for me. This killed me because i never asked her anything, i would do everything by myself. She cooked very well and not even that i ever asked her to do for me, she did do it for me sometimes but always from her own volition. Still in pain, i asked, 'do you still love me?', she said no.

Incredibly, as soon as she said that i felt light. I have no idea how, but the moment i realised she didn't love me anymore it seemed like i never had her - or at least the person i thought i had. It made everything in those last few years i spent with her seem fake, an illusion. And i stopped suffering immediately. I've been feeling good since then but it still feels weird because it seemed like a betrayal, like i should try more - for the sake of my words in the past. I'm afraid of stop loving her and yet i think i already did.

Is this something that even makes sense?

Thank you for your time!

I've read a few times that workouts need to be different after a certtage. I'm curious to know, how so?

I'll keep it short.

I grew up in unfavourable conditions, yet in the west so there was still opportunities for me don't get me wrong I know how bad it is elsewhere. Addict parents, CPTSD from 14 years old etc, these things are still serious and warped my brain for many years.

This makes it easier for me to detach from my past life as I don't have a large loving family or anything, they're bad people and always tried to knock me down for climbing.

I moved abroad now and over the years I've distanced myself from my past life and have felt by doing this is where I've had the best growth within, loving myself, becoming the true version of me, not feeling trapped in a box, not fitting into a system or role I was given etc.

I'm at a point where I don't need to go back now and I don't see it happening. There is no reason I'll need to.

Anyone else been through it?

Good news is I can get an erection, bad news is there's no arousal or sensation. I literally feel nothing when I try to be active and if I do orgasm its like I'm just passing fluids if that makes sense. At 39 I'm glad that i can finally get erections but the arousal part I have no clue. My doctor already said my testosterone is fine from blood tests.

I’m 24M in Ontario, making $70k a year as an engineer. I graduated school with an electrical engineering degree, worked through school, and now invest about $2,400 a month, after paying off credit card debt for 3 months after graduation. My parents are struggling financially, and there’s a chance they could lose the house. They never had the means to support me, so I’ve had to figure most things out myself. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I’m honestly surprised I’ve gotten this far given my circumstances. Here’s where I’m at, $70k salary, Around $30k in student loans, 5.5k in an ETF, Never moved out before, since I lived at home during university. I’m worried I might have to move out sooner than expected. I’ll need to change my approach. At the same time, I don’t want to put my entire life on hold. I want to keep building wealth, travel occasionally, date, and enjoy my twenties while I’m still young. For people who grew up in low-income families and had to build everything themselves, what would you do in my position? Would you prioritize building a large cash emergency fund before moving out? Would you get roommates and keep investing, or temporarily stop investing to get financially stable? How do you balance helping yourself build a future when your family situation is uncertain? I’m not looking for sympathy. I want practical advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

Hello everyone, I had gray hair for most of my life. From grade 2 I saw gray hair. At this age, I have about 25- 35% gray hair. Is this normal? I tried to find an answer but ended up blaming it on genetics.

Also, are you guys doing anything for your gray hair? Any products?

Possibly helpful descriptions (though not required for suggestions):

Fan of watching sports (mainly soccer), reasonably athletic, in his late 40's, likes to travel, works as a software engineer, workaholic

My budget is $40

Edit: I have to specify, I am in college during his birthday. I cannot spend time with him then. What is something physical I can order for him

So I am 32yo and my whole life (except for PE in high school but it doesn't really count) I have only practiced individual sports because 1) I have a pretty competitive personality, so I don't like neither to be responsible for someone else's loss nor share the victory lol, 2) I am gay and always got along better with women and felt awkward in male groups.

With age, my personality has shifted a bit on both aspects and I realized that I would like to try having that team experience. I am also in a new city where people are not too open to meet new people and I have always found (even individual ones, I imagine even more so for team ones) sports to be a good way to make friends.

The problem is idk what to pick or even if there is anything that makes sense picking ? The way I see it, in individual sports you are on your own so you can basically start anytime. Sure, you will face better opponents and all but ultimately you don't have to insert yourself in a group that is already at a certain level. I don't really understand how that works for team sports, like how do you even get to par with the team you are supposed to join to even begin practicing anyway ?

Just two last points : 1) Football (soccer) is out of the equation, it is extremely popular where I live so there are virtually no true beginners, which I feel would make it awkward for me, 2) There is a gay sports association where I live but I am not really interested in joining it

Thanks !!

I’m 38M. About a month ago, I developed a severe urinary illness with high fever, chills, lower back pain, headaches, burning urination and changes in urine flow, a day after having back-to-back sex with my wife. However, I don’t think sex alone would explain all these symptoms. I had also been drinking potassium-rich coconut water around that time and was under considerable work-related stress.

My urine test showed high white blood cells, but the culture showed no growth.

I completed 7 days of nitrofurantoin, but my symptoms returned, including blood in my urine, so I went to A&E. I was then prescribed 7 days of trimethoprim 200mg twice daily.

My urinary symptoms have mostly improved. My urine flow is normal, erections are strong and ejaculation is still forceful.

However, my ejaculation stream is now much thinner than before the illness. Previously, it was noticeably thicker/wider.

Has anyone experienced this after a severe UTI? Did your ejaculation stream eventually return to normal?
What might be going on, and has anything helped restore the width of your ejaculation stream? How long did recovery take?

Thank you for reading.

I’ve always been somewhat fit I guess but had more of a runner’s body, so to say. Last year (age 43) I got tired of my back pain from house projects/age and decided to build muscles. It’s been more than 12 months and I’m pretty muscular. Especially when compared to my old physique. I’m pretty sure I have never had this muscle mass.
Anyone else did that when hitting middle age?

I have my first Urologist appointment and I’m not sure what to expect.

I’ve been having issues with being able to empty my bladder after urinating. I’ll urinate, and then 2 minutes later I get a sudden urge to have to go again or have leakage.

After consulting my primary physician and getting an ultrasound on my bladder (didn’t show anything staying), he wasn’t able to figure out what was going on and referred me to a urologist.

I’m curious if anyone has seen a urologist for something similar. If so, what can I expect for the appointment? Anything you wish you asked or were prepared for?

My wife and I are expecting our first child in late January, and I'm wrestling with a very difficult career decision. Looking for perspectives from other dads.

I'm 29 yo, and currently work as a Senior Financial Analyst at a large national company based in PHX. I've been at this job about a year now, and it is pretty comfortable. Im in office 4 days per week, and during non month or quarter end months I can finish my work in like 25-30 hours. But still have to be in office. So somewhat chill responsibility wise. I'd receive 6 weeks of paid paternity leave when the baby is born.

Recently I got headhunted for an Accounting Manager role at a smaller private company (~150 employees). It would be my first management role, which is something I've wanted to move toward. The company seems very interested in me.

If I stay I keep a somewhat comfortable and familiar job, but very little chance of management for 3-5 years (not sure if I even want to be in management at this big of a company). 6 weeks paid paternity leave. Lower stress and uncertainty during the newborn phase. Salary is doable if my wife stops working, but maybe a little uncomfortable at first.

If I leave i get the promotion a bit earlier than I was otherwise planning, and first opportunity to manage a team. Comp would be about a 27% upgrade, give or take based on company performance. This company also pays for 100% of family medical premiums. Longer commute of ~50 min one-way (roughly an extra 1-2 hours per week total over my current job). Would be starting before the baby arrives and be learning a new role during those first few months of parenthood. We've reached an agreement on them giving me 3 weeks of paternity paid, but it's not the 6 weeks I'd be getting if I stayed.

The thing I'm struggling with is that manager opportunities don't seem to come along every day, especially for someone who hasn't had a manager role before. Part of me worries that if I pass on it because of timing, I may not find a similar opportunity a year from now. This size of a company is more attractive to me than working in an office with 1000 people.

On the other hand, I know I'll never get those first few months with my 1st child back. For dads who have been through something similar:

Would you prioritize stability during the newborn phase of your 1st child, despite the extra comp and career progression?

Or would you take the career opportunity and figure the rest out?

Looking back, is there anything you wish you'd weighed more heavily?

My wife is supportive of whatever decision I make and we are both torn on it. For context, she has a WFH job and plans to take 12 weeks on ST disability, and will try to keep working after that while still caring for our baby. But we recognize it will be difficult, and she may need to resign if it's too much.

I'm just interested in hearing from dads who have already lived through those early newborn months and career decisions around the same time.

Men that lived a fairly healthy lifestyle, what health problems did you see pop up in your 30s? (If any)

For me, it’s going to the gym and feeling absolutely fine during the workout, only to wake up the next day unable to turn my head in any direction without pain. Or randomly finding mystery bruises on your body, even though you’re 100% sure you didn't hit anything 😂

What’s your most ridiculous injury that made you realize you are over 30?

I've probably been doom-scrolling to much, but reality is feeling bleaker overall.

I am 33m and two years married. My wife and I live in a modest cost of living area that is just growing so fast. We have a 1 bedroom apartment that is on the lower end for the area and we are not saving anything.

I have been in IT for 6 years and the market is awful. My wife went to school for marketing, but hasn't had luck breaking into it.

I'm getting piled with medical expenses this year. Cost of everything is skyrocketing. We can't envision owning a home. After marriage we said we would want to start a family in 2-3 years. It's been over two years and we are still saying the same thing.

I want out of my field of work and pivot to something else. However, I am struggling to find ways to afford that.

I worked my ass off for a year to get another job, that was a lateral move, due to my past job burning me out. Yet now I can't feel safe in my current job.

If I lose a job with nothing lined up, I'd be screwed. Mainly due to healthcare.

I hate AI. I hate what it is doing to the world. My own tech led is talking up the gloom and doom of AI. I feel that we are just a year or two away from a societal collapse of some sort.

It is hard to know what skills to build in this job market and world.

I want to feel confident that hard work will get me to where I want to be. A fulfilling job, living somewhere I enjoy, providing a good home for my wife and future children.

I don't need a fancy life, I just want to be able to afford more. Right now I feel like we may be in this same position for a long time. Which means, no home, no ability to afford kids, limiting travel to see family, and staying in a city we don't want to call home.

I've venting, but seriously want to feel better about the future

what are some things you won't buy even if you are rich as hell

I’m an early 30s male with no friends. I work from home and spend most my time alone but I wish I had at least one friend to talk to.

How would you go about making friends in this day and age, starting from square one?

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> "Does low birth weight affect growth? I was born with a weight of 1.5 kg and reached puberty at around 14 and a half years old. I was short compared to my peers, standing at 145 cm at age 13.I had a growth spurt at age 16 and reached 164 cm. Now I am 18 and my height is 172 cm.The average height in my family is around 180 cm, and my father is the same.Does this mean I will end up being shortNote that I have grown about 2 cm this past year"

"I don't know if this community is the right place for this question or not."