I'm a nonbiological dad with legal rights according to state law. I haven't seen my kiddo in almost 4 months. There's a hearing in 2 weeks to determine if I get parenting time. My ex has responded with a bunch of bogus accusations, some of which are documentable lies. I am so nervous for the hearing. Any advice?

Hey broskis,
I’ve gotten to 50/50 after lots of work and time in coparent guardian et liem meetings.
Now we’re at the 7/7 schedule.
I both love it and grateful and it’s also wearing me thin and empty on weeks off. Feels like building up to such happiness and routine only to feel all the air come out at dropoff.

It’s s there a better 3/3/2(swap)??

They say it’s for stability of the child. I get that and why I’m doing it. But deep down I’d like more of this schedule. My son is too young to figure this out and shouldn’t have to. He has expressed he wants “like a week with momma then a week with dada”. But unknown he misses us hanging out altogether more which I’m down for as coparents but she’s still high conflict.

Anyone have experience in this altered 50/50’s schedule?

My kids mom texted me yesterday saying " my mom thinks that you found someone else and I told her you are just trying to get money". She texted me this because I texted the group chat with her and her mom that I was staying for a double. I texted her back saying "So now every time I stay to do a double you guys think im eith another woman. Well atleast Im living a more exciting life in your guys head when in reality Im dealing with behaviors and wiping poop for an extra eight hours". She responded with "I dont think you are but she thinks that but even if you did I would be happy for you". I ended that conversation with "I am trying to focus on my mental health and my kids. I am actually becoming more and more of hermit that likes his space away from people"

Then she tried to switch it up with "come home I dont feel too good and my mom needs her space". I just responded with " one of you better take my babies to school tomorrow morning because Im getting home to sleep three-four hours to be back at work in the morning".

I got home she was completely fine. All she asked me for was to get my baby boy off of her and I went straight to sleep.

Im tired of the pitty parties and the mind games. I am focused on my mental health, beign the best dad I can be, and money.

If my babies are staying at my mom's house for the weekend I am taking some much needed time to myself and walk around downtown for some hours to breath, think, and recollect my energy for my priorities.

I made the mistake of looking at my company’s Facebook page tonight and there was a photo of all of my coworkers and their children together in front of one of our helicopters. It is absolutely heartbreaking and brutal that I couldn’t be there with my son. No that shouldn’t hurt me as much as it does but I wanted so badly to be in that photo and it’s a reminder of exactly how awful my situation is. That would have meant the world to me just to have that one moment and be in that picture. The one thing that I wanted was time with my son and she just couldn’t do it. She works three days a week and has a boyfriend or two but she just couldn’t do it.

Hopefully, I'll soon be one of the single dad's club.

Had my court date today. She contested, claiming reconciliation is possible.

It's not.

Now I have to wait for the judge to make a decision.

Ask me anything.

I miss my family so much. Me and my baby mom were having issues and have I think it’s because we were in a house with 10 people and never got our own space and we were always together but we’ve had real good times and I want too be with her again and hopefully for the rest if my life. I’m so heartbroken over it all. I miss my baby girl so much I haven’t seen her in 4 days. I’ve been a wreck.

I’m proud to say that I hit 30 days of sobriety yesterday which at one time was something that I didn’t think about but this time around it’s a major step in the right direction. I’ve been dealing with an indescribable amount of pain during the past year in particularly with regard to my relationship with my son’s mother and not being allowed to be a father. I’m incredibly grateful to be able to sit with the feelings today that I wasn’t able to a month ago as difficult as that is when I want to be a father more than anything and can’t be but my hope is to continue doing everything I can to improve myself so that eventually I will be able to be in my son’s life and stay there.

There is nothing more important to me than being the father that my son deserves and being present in his life. In addition to not hurting his mother with my words and actions.

This is more so an ironic twist of fate. When I was younger before kids, my ex wife didnt like to travel and I wanted to see the world. Now I am divorced, and have little money to spend on travel so I tend to explore things closer to home.

Now I am looking at dating profiles of women my age, many list their love to travel prominantly in their profile. I know eventually after my mortage is paid off I will have more opportunities to travel but thats 15 years away. By the way this isnt a woe as me post or asking for financial advice. I do save money its just retirement, my son's education investment account and home maintenence is a higher priority right now on my list. I thought this sorta funny in a self depreciating way and thought I would share in case anyone else is in a similar position.

As the title says looking to see if I should proceed legally against my ex.

I don't normally ask for help or share so this is kinda weird for me but strangers are easier to talk to then anyone I know.

Been a weekend warrior dad for like 5/6 years now an im tired of how things are, I want more time with my 6 yr old. Every other weekend an basically a hug an dinner one day a week every other week isn't enough.

My ex has zero communication skills, an has done multiple things against the parenting plan an I feel like im co parenting with the devil. But with the shit i experienced before with the legal system just to get legitimate an have a parenting plan the first time im not sure if I should l pursue legally to get more time with my kid. Im not well off so money is a a big factor, along with the headache of actually doing it.

If you're baby momma was consistently not doing what the parenting plan says an making life harder for you would you try to adjust it?

Please let me know what would be appreciated, even if it’s just kind words or a small gesture. I have no kids and he has one preteen son. Thank you.

Nothing quite rekindles the feeling of being a single parent like being sick as fuuuuu...And having to wake up at 630am and get the kid ready for school while she fights you on every step. For context I have 2 adult children I had custody of from when they were little, and now a 5yr old special needs non verbal daughter who lives with me full time starting 4 months ago.

It's probably been a decade since I felt this sick, and have to pull it together to get kids off to school, and subsequently cook and clean to keep the house moving when they get back.

This isn't a I need support post, just laughed this morning as I hack up a lung while fighting her on what she wants to wear to school remembering how I wanted this, fought for it, and know I'll be fine in a few days. But for this morning, this suuuhhhhks

So I had two kids with someone I never truly loved, the first was an accident when we'd just met. I am from the UK, the mother from Australia. She has dual citizenship with England so we raised them for 3 years there. We then made the move to Aus to do the partnership visa so I could stay, thinking it would be better for me financially, and a better life for the kids . 3 months into our move the mother decides she doesn't want to be together, ends it and moves on with someone from Bali within 3 days.

Now I am in Australia, having to find a way to stay as she won't return to England for my sake. My boys mean the world to me. Two boys, 3 and 2. We're currently under the same roof at her Mum's, and arguments are inevitable. She is extremely delusional and claims verbal abuse and complete victimhood in arguments even though it's me reacting to her. I do 90% of the parenting. She threatens access to them if I displease her. That's if I can even stay. The thought of having to leave the country and be the other side of the world from them is breaking my heart. My parents think I should apply for custody but it would be impossible to do from England now that they are residents of Australia, it's under Australian law.

I have to tiptoe around her and let her walk all over me, see her being impatient with the boys, due to fear of her claiming abuse and denying me any access. I can't currently work on my visa and have no money for courts etc anyway. She's already planning trips to Bali to see her new bf and wants the kids to go, but I refused as it's not safe for them. Especially with just her as she never watches them.

I'm terrified of losing them. Anyone been through something similar? I'd like a family with someone I truly love but would have constant grief over not seeing my two boys, and guilt if I just 'replaced' them.

How do you guys deal with the frustration and anger towards your ex controlling when you can see your child? There are legal proceedings that take time but I just can’t understand how someone I loved so much would decide to do something like that all of a sudden, not allowing me to see my child who I love so much and would care for every day.

What do I need to have in order. Mediation Tuesday meet with lawyer Monday.

Kids are decided we’ve been nesting 5-5-2-2 for 5 months holiday schedule is decided. (Unless she flips script it won’t end well we’ve had 0 issues in 5 months separated)

This is all financial. Mediator is a CPA wife makes 252k I make 60k.

She will buy me out of house for 1/2.

Married 12 years 3 kids under 11. I think MN child support says $800 a month. My mock budget I’m $2500 short a month. Live in HCOL area and have to stay in same school district for kids.

Start by asking for $3000 a month and settle for $2000?

Anyone been on either side please comment.

I'm in a place where I never saw myself, and I'm embarrassed and ashamed, but in need of dire help. Just recently, in the ending months of September I found my now ex wife to have had some very unforseen substance and alcohol abuse issues, and while I was away on at a dental conference to expand my knowledge on assisting and oral surgery, a dangerous situation happened that landed her in mandatory rehab and therapy at a facility. I'm currently managing everything on my own, and it has led me to being on the brink of bankruptcy. I now am juggling childcare costs because I am away from home for the week for work, (thankfully my daughter loves daycare), rent, the two car payments because I financed a larger vehicle for family trips and have a smaller sedan, utilities etc. She also worked from home and we had a working budget, but now that she is gone I am struggling horribly to make up the difference. If anyone has any resources to share, or feels so inclined to become a savior, please let me know.

Hey everyone,
I’m a 27-year-old dad, and I’m preparing to have full custody of my 9-year-old daughter. I’m excited about this next chapter of my life, and I’m ready to step up and be the father she needs. At the same time, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous about figuring everything out on my own.
I live alone and work full-time, but my schedule can be unpredictable. Sometimes I work late and don’t get off until 10 PM, so one of my biggest concerns is figuring out reliable childcare for the times I’m working. I want to make sure my daughter is safe, cared for, and has a consistent routine even when I have to work.
I know about SNAP/food stamps, but I’m wondering what other resources might be available to single fathers in my situation.

I’m not looking for a handout or trying to avoid responsibility. I’m trying to be proactive, make a plan, and use the resources available so I can give my daughter a stable home and be there for her.

Any advice, personal experiences, or resources would mean a lot. Thank you!

My baby momma broke up with me 3 days ago, we said some hurtful stuff too each other. I miss her and the baby so damn much words can’t explain. I live 8 hours away so there’s not much I can do. I’m scared there’s a chance I won’t be able too get together with her again because we said hurtful stuff to each other. We’re leaving with her family full of kids and I think we were just stressful and neither of us had jobs for awhile and the baby was just born and I think we needed time away from each other for a little bit. Now I have no job up here and idk what to do. She’s following guys on instagram now too so I’m heartbroken.

My dad was the coolest guy who lived. Happy marriage, successful professional, everyone adored him. He died in COVID and became a saint like Livia Soprano would say. Im such a fuck up compared to him. Was poised to be just like him and after he died everything turned into a rollercoaster to hell. He was such a great father that even I, such a dissapointment compared to him, can call myself a good dad. He was such a good dad that my son doesn't know the only reason I am still here is that i could never deny him the experience I had having him as a Dad. I wish he could have known his grandson and seen the joy that he is. I wish he could have seen that I became a good father because of him, that even when everything is shit I am still standing because he taught me to. You have no idea the goddam impossible things i would do just to spend an evening with him and my son. He never prepared me to be a single father and I never prepared for this and is hard and i wish i could just catch a glimpse of him and feel that ease of life of knowing that no matter what everything will be alright just because he is there.

I’m 19 and one of my friends can’t raise a baby and asked me if I could take care of it for the time being do any single dads have any advice for me seeing as I’ve never taken care of kids

I’m currently navigating life after a divorce, taking care of my kids every other weekend and on Wednesdays. Back when I was married, my ex managed all the house cleaning details. We had a service come by, but she took care of the scheduling and communication—I didn't even know our cleaner's name for the first year.

Once I moved into my own place, keeping things clean for when the kids visit became a huge priority. I don't really care about keeping the house spotless when it's just me during the week, but when Friday evening rolls around, I want everything to feel comfortable and welcoming for them. Fresh sheets, a clean bathroom, and a kitchen that doesn't feel bleak make a world of difference.

I ended up hiring a cleaner to come every two weeks on Thursday, right before my weekend with the kids. It lifted a heavy burden I didn't even realize I was carrying. Has anyone else set up something similar?

Well my guys I’m hitting my breaking point. my ex and her partner keeps double teaming me on all the things I do wrong with our daughter. She also will not let me talk to our daughter outside of my parental time unless she needs something from me. I’m drowning in debt. I have been trying to find an attorney to help with my case an no one calls me back. I have started having panic attacks, which is a new thing for me and I don’t know what to do. The only thing holding me down is my daughter and the time I get with her. I know/hope things will get better, but god damn I need a win and soon. Just needed to vent, thanks for reading.

So I'm not really good at making posts like this but I genuinely need some advice from people who have been through something similar.

Me and my girlfriend recently split up after almost 2 years together. We have a baby boy together and honestly this past week has been absolute hell for me.

I love this woman. Like genuinely love her. She wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my best friend. We had plans to get married, raise our son together, and build a future. I really thought I found my person.

But I'm not going to sit here and act like I was perfect because I wasn't.

I have issues with getting defensive when I feel like I'm being accused of something or not being heard. There have been arguments where I've yelled, slammed doors, and even thrown things out of frustration. I'm not proud of any of that and I know it was wrong.

But there's also another side to everything.

She has had pretty bad trust issues throughout our relationship. There was a lot of checking phones, going through social media, questioning things, and just constantly feeling like something was wrong. Over time I started feeling like no matter what I did I was always having to prove myself or defend myself.

I'm not saying she didn't have reasons to lose trust in me at times because she did. I've made mistakes and I've lied about things because I was scared of the reaction or what would happen if I told the truth.

But eventually it felt like we were stuck in this constant cycle. She would question something, I'd feel accused or unheard, I'd get defensive, we'd argue, and then we'd both end up hurt.

And I want to make something clear. I'm not blaming her trust issues for my reactions. I chose how I reacted and I take responsibility for that. I'm just trying to explain how we got to this point.

About a week ago she left.

But here's where I'm genuinely confused.

A few days after she left we actually had an amazing conversation. Like probably one of the best conversations we'd had in a long time. We both opened up about everything, talked about what went wrong, and actually listened to each other.

By the end of it we had talked about trying again. Not just jumping straight back into the relationship but taking things slow, going on dates, spending time together, and seeing if we could rebuild what we had.

I went to bed that night feeling like I finally had some hope.

Then the next morning it was like everything reset.

She was distant again. Things we'd talked about suddenly felt like they didn't matter anymore. And this has happened more than once. We'll have a really good conversation where I feel like we're finally getting somewhere and then we go to sleep and wake up and it's like we're back at square one.

Part of me wonders if someone is getting in her head or influencing her after we talk. But I don't know that for sure. It could just be that she feels differently after having time to think about everything.

I just don't understand it. And it's absolutely destroying me emotionally.

I've started therapy since the breakup. I've had two sessions so far and I've been trying to figure out why I react to things the way I do.

One of the biggest things I've realized is that I have some pretty severe abandonment and trust issues myself. Growing up I never really felt heard, and when I feel like someone isn't listening to me or is accusing me of something, I immediately get defensive.

I've also realized that knowing why I do something doesn't mean I've actually fixed it.

She's told me that before. That I've promised to change before and eventually fallen back into the same habits.

And she's right.

She's also told me she doesn't feel safe meeting with me right now because of the yelling, anger, and things that have happened between us.

That hurts to hear from someone you love more than anything. But I understand why she feels that way and I know two therapy sessions aren't going to magically fix everything.

I'm genuinely trying though.

The other thing making this so hard is our son.

I went from seeing him every single day, holding him, watching him grow, and just being his dad to barely getting to see him. Most of our contact right now is through short FaceTime calls and we're still trying to figure everything out.

I miss him so much it physically hurts sometimes.

And I'm not going to lie, I've handled the breakup pretty badly emotionally.

I've sent her way too many long messages apologizing, explaining myself, telling her how much I love her, and begging for another chance.

I know I shouldn't have done that. She asked for space and instead of giving it to her I've been letting my fear of losing her take over.

I'm constantly worried that she's moving on, talking to someone else, or that she's already stopped loving me.

And the worst part is that I know those thoughts are coming from my own insecurities. But knowing that doesn't make them go away.

I just want my best friend back.

I miss the stupid little things. Her laugh, the jokes we'd make, doing absolutely nothing together, waking up next to her, and just having my little family together.

I keep thinking about all the things I should've done differently. All the times I should've listened instead of getting defensive. All the times I should've just walked away calmly instead of letting an argument get worse.

And now I'm sitting here wondering if I've realized all this too late.

I'm not asking people to tell me she's wrong or that I'm right. I know I messed up. I know I have things I need to work on and I'm going to keep going to therapy regardless of what happens.

But I also know we both hurt each other and I wish we could work through that together.

So I guess I'm asking:

* Has anyone ever come back from a breakup where trust was this damaged?
* Has anyone had their ex talk about trying again and then completely change their mind the next day?
* If you've ever been the person who didn't feel safe or couldn't trust your partner anymore, was there anything that actually helped rebuild that?
* How do you give someone space when every part of you is terrified they're going to move on?
* At what point do you stop fighting for the person you love and just accept that it's over?

I'm not expecting her to come running back after a week. I know real change takes time.

I just don't know how to deal with the thought of losing my best friend and the family I always wanted.

I don't want to give up on her. But I also don't want to keep making things worse.

If anyone has been through something like this, whether you were in my position or hers, I'd genuinely appreciate some advice.

I just feel completely lost right now.

It’s fun to see my kid so proud of me and so disgusted by me at the same time 😁💕