I searched my name and town to see what was online. Found something on a 4chan archive website. The thread was people sharing naked pictures of girls with their full names and locations attached. Some loser posted my name school and town I lived in asking for help finding naked pictures of me. No such photos have ever existed so he didn’t find anything. I don’t know who did but I suspect it was a guy I went on a few dates with in college who had a meltdown and acted like I left him at the alter when I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship. I saw two posts of this dumbass begging for help in finding anything on me. No replies.

I am literally a FUCKING TEENAGE GIRL. WHY TF WOULD YOU AS A GROWN FOURTY YEAR OLD MAN TELL ME I CANT WEAR A CROP TOP BECAUSE “WE DONT KNOW WHAT TURNS ON THESE BOYS” (my fucking brothers). WHY AS MY MOTHER WOULD YOU ALLOW YOUR SON TO TRY TO BREAK IN THE DOOR WHILE IM IN THE BATHROOM. Why would you laugh and joke at the fact that your SON tries to look at you naked.

Why do I have to cover up to not turn on my brothers?? WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED TO PUT YOUR DAUGHTER IN THE ROOM WITH YOUR SON BY HERSELF AND BE OKAY WITH IT?! I am so fucking tired of living like this. Why do you see nothing wrong with this?

(This was all spurred because my parents were watching a movie where a boy walked in a girl getting dressed and my mom asked why he took so long to close the door and my step dad say because he’s a boy. like that justifies being a creep. I hate him so much. I hate him.)

It’s so uncomfortable in my house my mom told my EIGHT year old sister to ‘stop throwing her (p word for vagina Idk if I can say that) around to get what she wants’

And they wonder why I want to leave.

#ihatemen

#andwomenwhocondonethem

I think after discovering the horror show of what the men in power of the world are doing and how they shaped our culture and idea of sexual attraction everyone has been a lot more observant and critical. I think this can absolutely be a good thing in a lot of ways. We're finally discussing things like grown men targeting barely legal teens, childlike themes in pornography, sexualizing school girl outfits, how women are pressured to be more childlike and docile and to never age. How we talk about women and teen girls and what's advertised to them, etc.

But I've noticed along with this whole conversation there's been a pretty concerning undercurrent of unintentional body and just general shaming. It's something I picked up on as a woman who is 5'0 and just not curvy myself. I am not any less intellectualy capable, mature, or able to consent than any woman my age who happens to have different genetics that change her height and bra measurements. And it has been very distressing to be made to feel like the things that I can not change about my body are morally deplorable. That I can not be loved by someone because it means they're a predator. That not having the desired curved doesn't just mean I'm not pretty, but that I am a moral hazard.

Something people unlike me may not realize is that being of smaller stature already means people view you differently. You're not taken seriously, and people treat you as a child even if you're mentally capable. And this argument just confirms that. That somehow the length of our bones and distribution of muscle and tissue dictates our intelligence and if we're lovable by the rest of the population. It imposes guilt onto women who arent the proper body type. It tells us that our sexual desire is wrong and at worst that by us having sexual desires, trying to look sexy, or looking for a partner like any other woman our age, that we are pedo baiting. And that is not ok at all.

The point I'm making is that when we discuss these sorts of things we need to be mindful not to generalize or criticize things someone can not control like body shape. We need to be careful that we aren't labeling someone unlovable based purely on physical appearance. Same could go for someone with a disability, such as being nuerodiverse or physically disabled. We need to understand when we're pointing out a legitimate and concerning power imbalance instead of broad brushing anything that vaguely resembles one. We need to have nuance and understanding of what we're criticizing and why.

For example I think it would be fair to say that petite women can be more vulnerable to being physically overpowered than someone of standard height. That's generally true, and it's something we can address without shaming the woman or calling her unlovable. Anyways, there's my tangent I don't know what else to say. Short people are still people please treat us like people. Don't fall into the eugenics trap of measuring skull shapes to decide intellegence and all that shit

It was made by a man and the long and short of it is "men fall in love right away based on what she looks like, whereas women fall in love slowly by getting to know the guy." And I'm left there thinking, how on earth can you love a person you don't even know? You can't really be loving that person, you have to be loving a mirage that you imagined.

And then I started thinking, that's why a lot of men (SOME, especially the young and inexperience, not all) get angry when women do normal things like cracking jokes, farting, or being a flawed human being. They probably get a feeling of being something like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when the wizard's curtain is lifted and it turns out that there is a person there.

I got into video games a bit with my boyfriend and we played RDR2 together. I loved it! my ONE complaint was that I couldn’t play as a character who is a woman, like Sadie. I’m sorry for anyone here who isn’t into video games but I’m so excited to play this as a woman! You can even get her nails done and change hairstyle and clothes!

im pretty tall (5'10") so i was jealous of shorter girls/women for a while. but i remember that everyone has struggles and that the grass isn't always greener on the other side

if you're a shorter woman, what are some downsides to being short?

edit: I'm noticing a lot of the same stuff: clothes not fitting right, being mistaken for children, can't see at concerts, and not being able to reach stuff. Where I'm coming from is that a lot of men typically gravitate towards shorter women because society has a huge hard-on for the "guy taller girl shorter" relationship dynamic. I guess from a purely romantic aspect, being a shorter woman will be seen as winning the lottery

Moral of the story, the grass isn't always greener around the other side lol

I can already smell the “not all men” from a mile away so here is my obligatory obviously I know it’s not all men. If you felt defensive reading my post you are a part of the problem.

I’m 18NB, so not a woman, but I’m AFAB and fem presenting so I pass as cis. I had not only my first, but my second at work experience with creepy old men today. (I started working at a grocery store about a month ago, for context). I had one man who left something behind at my register come back for it and he was trying to get my attention. Instead of saying “excuse me” or even just tapping my shoulder, he trailed a finger down my spine. I whipped around genuinely shocked and I must’ve done something with my face because he looked a little bit confused/startled when I turned around to look at him. I helped him get his things and he left and nothing else weird happened. A few hours later, another older man came through my line. He called me “sweetheart” when I greeted him which I didn’t immediately interpret as weird because a lot of elderly people, both men and women, will call me sweetheart when I greet them. However it became weird when I finished ringing up his items and told him to have a nice day. He thanked me and then told me to “stay pretty” and said I was “very beautiful.” I didn’t even know what to say so I kinda just awkwardly thanked him and just had to process that for a minute.

Like, seriously? Trailing a finger down my spine??? Fucking “stay pretty”???? I’m just tired of this and so exhausted of being my birth sex. Can I just be treated like a normal person or is that too much to ask?

The history of medical neglect on women.

Oddly specific, but over and over again I’ve made it very clear to multiple men that I don’t like them. I insult them, I don’t let them touch me, I tell them I hate them, I tell them to leave me alone, and in the end they almost always understand my obvious hints of dislike for them as hints that I like them and am definitely autistic. Either that or they say I have a “black cat personality.”

Like this is a real strange phenomenon

This is such a random question, but I’m curious about everyone’s habits.
Do you sleep with a bra on, wear a soft bralette, or take everything off the second you get into bed?
If you wear one while sleeping, is it because you find it more comfortable, prefer the support, or simply got used to it?
I’ve heard so many different opinions about this, and I want to know what women actually do in real life…i really want to sleep without bra but also it feels uncomfortable
No judgement, just curiosity! 😭

My grandma has been with a guy named Gary for as long as I've been alive. They chose not to officially marry, but he's kind of like a step-grandparent. I've always had a weird feeling about him, and over the years it's bothered me wondering if I'm looking for problems where there are none. I don't know if I'm overreacting and wanted an outside perspective.

For as long as I can remember, he's always insisted on hugging me whenever he saw me, and would act hurt or sullen if I refused (which I usually did - I was uncomfortable around him when I was little, and autistic to boot.) My mom would often stand up for me and it created sort of a growing rift between her and my dad's family.

It came to a head when we celebrated my bat mitzvah - basically there was an open space people were dancing in, and he grabbed me to start dancing with me. I told him no several times but he proceeded anyway. His hands were on my hips. My mom got angry with him after seeing a video of it later, prompting some relatives to get mad at her, and it was a very ugly situation to be at the center of.

The most recent time I saw him was at a family gathering for Rosh Hashanah (this is a very Jewish post lol). All night, over and over, he told me how good I looked. Like, complimenting my hair and such. He'd repeat himself, too - like "no, really, you look great." I thought it was sweet at first but he just kept saying it. I'm 22 now, and he's maybe 80. I don't like how I look and I want to believe he meant it in a benign way, but it felt off.

I don't want to look for problems were there are none, but it's not like he's a good guy to begin with - he treats my grandmother pretty poorly and is a horrible bigot. And the fact that I felt something off even as a toddler doesn't bode well. I've started wondering, if it weren't for my mom, if he would've done something serious to me as a kid. I've even wondered if he did - I had a really strange aversion to him as a little kid, and well into my teens I'd have a pit in my stomach around him. It's a horrible thing to think of a family member, and most of the family swears he's harmless. I need to see him again soon for a gathering and the more I think about it the less sure I feel that I should be in contact with him. I'm STAUNCHLY feminist and never in my life would have thought I'd be the one defending a creepy man "because he means well", but it's not like I was SA'd and I don't want to self-victimize over nothing.

Am I seeing issues where there are none, or would I be justified in keeping some distance from this person? This genuinely weighs on me and I would really appreciate any input.

I am conventionally unattractive due to my features. I started my nursing clinical today and was brutally reminded of it. I was partnered up with a guy, and he constantly kept walking ahead of me the whole time. Whenever id try to speak to him he’d just cut me off and start talking to someone else. He even apologized for it once and then kept doing it. Whenever other people would speak to us it was as if I wasn’t even there, he’d cut me off the entire time and not respond to anything I’d say. The rare times he would speak to me, he did so in an irritated voice like “ Go get this”. I grew up really shy and quiet and I think this is why lol.

okay so i’ve heard this phrase a lot while healing from abuse. i did research on it, there’s literally no scientific evidence or research, literally NOTHING, just women sharing their experiences. im a woman of science, so i thought the sentiment was a little silly. but i always heard those woman say it didn’t make sense until you were able to experience it.

but anyway, i have a connective tissue disease, it cause my joints to spontaneously sublax (a partial dislocation) quite often. i’ve been recovering from an abusive relationship so i haven’t been able to play chiropractor at home in years. (edit: i don’t go to a chiropractor, this was meant to be a joke… chiropractors aren’t real doctors) my subluxations have gotten really painful and difficult. i decided today was the day and i got off my ass and started putting my joints back into place.

anyway, i notice i have an extremely deep ones in my hips. it’s significantly more difficult than any of the other and im literally wondering why this joint in particular is being so difficult. it takes a solid 10 minutes working on it for it to hit, and when it does i feel like ive been hit by a brick.

i suddenly feel this insane release of pressure and get flashbacks to exactly the moment i got the sublax. i got flashbacks to my abusive ex forcing my legs wider during events i feel i need not describe in detail.

im now sitting here, my hips feel like a billion pounds have been lifted off them and i suddenly think of this phrase.

is this the potential answer???? i feel crazy

what if its literally just been hip subluxations from assault this whole time?

edit: i want to add more context. my chronic subluxations come from poor connective tissue, my joints can spontaneously sublux. before this one, i was able to get my shoulders and arms, which also caused a release but like a normal release for hEDS. this type of subluxation is COMPLETELY different from what i felt before. i got flashbacks of my ex holding my legs open while i was trying to close them. during that, at one point, i felt a pop and like i physically couldn’t fight back anymore. now i think it was that subluxation. since i feel like i open my pelvis, where before i literally couldn’t. i think it was my pelvic joint

I recently joined a few dating-oriented subreddits even though I’m blissfully single at the moment, because at some point I’ll take the plunge and make an online dating profile. For context, I’m a middle-aged single mom.

There’s one theme I picked up on pretty quickly in these subs, particularly the subs for specific dating apps:

Women have the advantage as far as numbers go. Because men are struggling to get likes and matches, they start swiping on anything and everything, calling it a “numbers game.” So we end up with far more options, even if they all suck.

And they cannot fucking handle this.

It doesn’t even matter what the conversation is, it’s almost a guarantee that at least one guy is going to roll up in there and whine about not getting the number of matches he thinks he deserves. Example: I saw one guy complaining that a woman he thinks is overweight probably gets so many matches while he, an Obviously Great Guy™️, gets none. It’s not even what the post was about but multiple men felt the need to squeeze in and make that same complaint. It’s pathetic.

The tone is so entitled and, unsurprisingly, puts the onus on us to fix it for them. They aren’t interested in putting in the work to improve themselves and not be a misogynistic piece of shit. No, they want us to be nicer to them and give them a chance even if their profile is an immediate no or if their chats are lame and weird.

I even came across one guy that insisted we, as a collective whole, should all just be clear and consistent about what we want men to do to “seduce” us. I guess we’ll have to put that on the agenda for the next All-Women’s meeting because how dare we have individual preferences?!

So yeah, they are losing their fucking marbles over the fact that they don’t have the advantage in online dating. And I think we all agree that a whiny entitled man is the opposite of sexy. And becomes dangerous in due time.

I need a word for this because it’s such a frequent feeling that’s responsible for a lot of the times I spiral but from my searches have never found any talk about this dread-like feeling and putting a name to it, most likely cuz of misogyny.

So often the discourse around abortion centers on regret narratives. We rarely get to hear about how abortion improved the lives of those who get them. I’m wondering. For those here who have had an abortion and don’t regret it, how did your life improve due to it? Why was it the to go t decision? Where do you think you would be today if you had not gotten one?

Genuine question: why is there so much shame and policing around women’s chests?
Men can go shirtless in many situations, while women are often expected to hide every outline or hint of a nipple, even under clothing.
I’m not saying everyone should be comfortable showing skin. Everyone deserves to choose what they wear without being judged.
But why has something so natural about the human body become so controversial? Even a visible nipple outline through a shirt can make people uncomfortable, attract unwanted attention, or invite unnecessary comments.
Is it because of social conditioning, cultural norms, or the way women’s bodies are portrayed in media?
I’m genuinely curious about different perspectives. Why is the same body part considered normal on men but inappropriate on women?

I don't have any tattoos.

I was walking my dog.

A man that was heading towards his front door from his driveway saw me on the sidewalk and made a complete 180 as I was passing by to stop me and ask if I wanted a tattoo.

That's weird, right?

I'm 23F. I was chronically online during the pandemic when "everyone was bisexual", and my "aesthetic" matched up so I deemed myself to be. I am not super duper feminine, which I also equated to more evidence of my being bisexual. Lots of my friends were/are queer as well. It made sense to me at the time.

I have crushes on men, dated men, been in a few long-term relationships with men, fallen deeply in love with a man, etc etc. I'd never had a crush on a woman, but assumed it would happen with the right person. I was fine sharing that I was bisexual with people, but I secretly questioned if it was true.

I had a sexual experience with a woman a year ago in college. It was honestly against my gut but she was pursuing me and I was drunk and I guess I thought I should "see". I didn't know her before that night. I immediately felt it wasn't for me. It came with lots of loaded emotions and confusion, but ultimately it led me to realize that I am actually straight.

I told my best friend this, obviously. She is bisexual herself. Ever since then, she has said a lot of things that make me feel like she doesn't believe I'm straight. She has this arrogance, like I'm in denial and don't know it. When I've brought up my feelings about the experience and my sexuality, she gets visibly irritated, dismissive and snappy.

Also this might sound stupid but I get uncomfortable when she jokes saying stuff like "ok masccc" after I mention I like building IKEA or something to that effect. Or also, I've had deeply meaningful relationships with men, and she's heard me talk about those relationships extensively but she jokes saying those men were "basically lesbians," which sort of makes me feel like she's retroactively reframing my entire romantic history to fit a narrative she's created about my sexuality rather than trusting me to understand my own experiences.

For the record, these types of jokes ONLY started after I realized I was straight. Also I would find these jokes funny and it wouldn't bother me at all if I didn't feel the hostility at other times. It almost feels like mocking me or something. Idk. I feel like reading this back it doesn't necessarily sound like a big deal, all I know is it feels icky in those moments. I show it too, I don't really laugh and I think I probably look uncomfortable but the jokes keep coming.

She has also said things that seem to me like she believes I am in denial about being in love with her. This is sort of a bad example but it's what I can think of right now: I was talking about the fact that I wanted to start waking up earlier. I said, "I want to, but I can't". She replied, "Freudian slip..." "What's the Freudian slip?" I asked. She didn't respond and changed the subject. She also has always said stuff like that she wants to kiss me, marry me, etc. I always assumed she was just joking, even though I never played along and found it sort of uncomfortable at times.

I've asked her before after these periods of hostility if something is wrong, or if she's upset with me about anything, and she says no.

I even now have OCD-like thoughts surrounding my sexuality, questioning if my gut was wrong, because it just doesn't make sense for me to lose a friend over this. It makes me wonder if she just knows something I don't. But she doesn't, and I know that, but the pain of her treating me this way is causing me to keep double checking

I honestly don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just want some outside perspective because I'm so caught up in my own head about it. I don't really feel a desire to repair the friendship right now because the dynamic is so suffocating. I've been pulling away a ton. I'm just sad because she was my best friend, and I hate that something like this has made me question myself and feel so uncomfortable in a friendship that used to mean so much to me. Has anyone experienced something similar or have any perspective on what's going on here?