Sharing a new to me masturbation technique that has been sex life-changing from of, all things, a recently-published romance novel, Devil by Sierra Simone.

While it may sounds kinda silly and not a little like remedial female self-pleasure, HEAR ME OUT IT WORKS:

Straddling on the bed a rolled up towel placed on top of a base of additional linens to rub, hump, and grind on. In the book, the base is three folded towels stacked on top of one another. In my “for science” trials, used a folded up light comforter as the base because I am not made of towels.

Some may say that this is basically the same as using a pillow, side of the bed, etc. And possibly for some women that’s true! Reason I am bothering to post is that those other methods have NEVER worked for me!

What’s more, I’ve actually been struggling for years and years with being unable to replicate the intensity of pleasure I could sometimes achieve with a partner on my own. We’re talking Betty Dodson Method and OMGYES memberships, Hitachi and Lelo purchases, reputable books with academic sources like Come As You by Emily Nagoski and Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz, and countless online disreputable sources. Going through endless cycles of “As an adult woman, I HAVE to learn my body and figure this out,” and only then to get so literally frustrated and disappointed that the effort started to take away from the satisfaction that I could obtain.

While this method not only replicates what I had been aiming for, since starting to use it regularly I have gone from occasionally being able to orgasm with a partner to consistently able to orgasm AT LEAST twice during partnered sex. All thanks to a romance novel…and…a fucking (lol) towel!

If any of this matches your own struggles, consider giving it a try!

Wasn’t sure where else to turn because I have no friends to brag about this too 🙃. I was feeling particularly horny this morning and my man had just taken a shower and smelled sinful. He made my cum 10 different times and it was INTENSE. The dirty talk in my ear, he had me call him “sir” for the first time… which was 🥵. And he’s started doing this thing where he kisses my neck and counts softly in my ear for each kiss he gives me and yall it’s like immediate I wanna jump his bones. Anywho… just wanted to brag to someone that I got turned into a slobbering buzzing mess over my lunch break today

Would love to get some advice and ideas that other women have tried to make this feeling keep going in our next encounter too

I haven’t masturbated or had sex in a minute. I do miss it sometimes but I also can’t really get myself through to do it. It’s almost like i can’t get myself to masturbate for fun.

I enjoy coming and come if I do it to myself but I don’t know. How do you integrate it in your routines and how can I just make myself come more often? Im genuinely open to it but it doesn’t come naturally to me?

I have a copper IUD. The only medication I take is lamotrigine for the past 5 years and for the purpose of ruling it out I stopped taking it for around 7 months - no changes. I have ADHD and BPD. Hormones are great, no thyroid issues, iron great, elevated prolactin but not bad, in the past elevated and didnt cause any problems.

Stress, poor diet, substances or lack of sleep have never been an issue, I started showing signs of mental illness at the age of 11 and was in a horrible state majority of my life, going through many traumatic events. No matter what happened my libido always remained extremely high and it’s been like this since I gained consciousness. I’m currently in the best state ever away from people that hurt me and in treatment. Even when I was SA’d, my libido would remain the same or increase. any instances of SA never had much effect on me, never had any flashbacks, felt anxious or uninterested in sex.

You might suggest denial now. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now and started seeing a sex therapist a few months ago. Both have no idea what’s wrong. Based on my history mental state is not the issue.

Relationship doesn’t matter, I’m very happy and attracted to my partner. In previous relationships it remained high no matter how badly I was treated, even when I lost attraction to them. I believe it was the highest when I would hook up with random people.

I’m only 20. I want to have children in the future. I have no desire to have sex, masturbate or kiss. Not even during ovulation.

I (22f) just moved to a new city and don’t know many people yet. I want to start this next chapter of my life positively, and start exploring my sexuality.

I’ve only had sex twice, and with men I wasn’t sure I was even attracted to. The problem is, both times I was in extreme pain. The first time I fully expected it to hurt. The second time I honestly just hooked up with him to find out if I could even do penetration. I haven’t had sex in two years, and while he was very accommodating and patient, I felt like I tried everything with him to make it less painful.

I know all these factors aren’t great and I don’t want to jump straight to vaginismus, because my doctor didn’t think I’ve had enough sex to come to that conclusion. But I’ve been afraid to have sex for two years because it hurts so bad (even fingering).

I feel like I have to just endure excruciatingly painful sex to break past this, or endure it enough to convince my doctor something might be wrong.

This has been a huge insecurity for years, I feel like I can’t have a sex life because my experiences have only been painful. I don’t want to go into my next experience stressed about pain and make it worse, so I avoid sex now.

But I want to understand myself and my body, but I don’t even know what I want. I’ve thought I was bi for years, my friends joke that “my body is rejecting men because I’m not attracted to them.” But I honestly don’t even know, and I’m scared to put myself out there because sex has been so bad for me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I’ve been scared to ask and honestly I don’t know what to do.

Hi I am f24 and I need some advice. I got out of a long term relationship this year and it’s been some months since the break up. I don’t think I want to be in another long term relationship for a while but I am also a lover girl which makes things hard. But I started talking to this guy and he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now either but we been talking as friends that now have led into more sexual tension. We have been planning on meeting each other but I’m scared. I’ve only had sex with 2 men my whole life. And the second person was my last relationship. I am very off putting when it comes to my body. Meaning I don’t send nudes or hyper sexual or lustful. But I don’t want to get to a stage in my life where I wish I explored my sexual identity when I feel like now is a good time to do so.

So my question is am I rushing into having sex with someone so soon out of a long term relationship? And is it really that important to have sex with different partners?

I’m also not sure if I’m asking the right questions but this is also new for me and I just want to put my mind in ease.

I think a lot of you can relate - I’ve always wondered how it feels when a male is stroking his cock. Can that feeling be replicated on a woman’s vulva/clit?

I tried to simulate it by grabbing my clit hood and trying to stroke it, but it doesn’t do too much for me... but maybe that’s it? (I read that the penis has a lot fewer nerve endings than the clitoris.)

I’ve even tried to grab the whole vulva skin and stroke it...

I mean, as stupid as it might sound, I just want to get as close as possible to the feeling of a cock stroke, so I can understand how it could feel.

Has anyone tried? Do you mind sharing?

my partner and i were talking about trying a wearable vibrator where one of us gets the remote and the other basically has no idea what's coming next.

we've been looking at a few different ones, mostly trying to figure out what actually matters once you're using it together. the remote is obviously the part that makes it interesting, but i'm wondering if it actually adds to the fun or if it just turns into one person asking "wait, what did you just press?"

also curious about the settings. do you actually use all the different options, or do you end up finding one or two favorites and sticking with those?

for anyone who's tried a remote controlled wearable with a partner, what was the moment where you thought, "ok, yeah, this is actually fun"?

Not enough orgasms

Arousal is low etc

I (19F) feel a bit stupid asking this, but I'm having trouble penetrating my vigina when I masturbate.

I have been masturbating for ages, but I only ever stimulated my clitoris and never really gone inside. I have been trying to give it more of a recently but I can get a little bit of my fingers in.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could penetrate myself more?

My husband and I are in a dead bedroom (the lack of intimacy is on his end, not mine). Because of this, my "sexy" lingerie is just sitting in a drawer. He doesn't care about it, and honestly, looking at it just reminds me of the rejection.

Part of me wants to throw it all away. Another part wonders if I can reclaim it.

Is it weird to wear lingerie if it’s definitely not leading to sex? Its empowering but I just don't know if I can just feel sexy. For anyone who has been through this, how did you start wearing it purely for your own confidence and self-care? I’d love to hear how you protect your selfworth when your partner has checked out. Thanks.

To preface:

its not a huge problem in our relationship and if i verbally ask him to make me finish he likely would the majority of the time so its not a matter of needing a solution, but i just wonder if this is okay complain about like im confused on what counts as pushing a boundary or a reasonable request.

I would say he makes me finish like 10-20% of the time me and my bf are intimate. Its worth mentioning that I can only finish from him using his hand and it can take 15 minutes up to over hour…so I absolutely understand not wanting to do it all the time. He’s very patient when he does do it, and I enjoy penetrative sex a lot even when I don’t finish, it just kind of bothers me that often when he doesnt make me finish, its when we have sex and he finishes quick and then obviously his drive is gone and I don’t want to make him do anything he doesnt want to.

I guess the part that bothers me is just that once he loses his drive, its seems like he doesn’t want to JUST because it makes me feel good like once hes satisfied hes done. I totally understand the feeling like theres a stark before and after but i just feel like if it was quick, and you’re not tired, and you got me all riled up for 5 minutes of sex then..it can be a little sexually frustrating. I just wish he would dedicate a little more time just to my pleasure.

Holaaaa, acabo de cumplir la mayoría de edad y estoy lista para explorar mi sexualidad pero nunca tuve la confianza de preguntarle a alguien, qué se hace? Como empiezo? Jaja
Para empezar, existe algún tutorial para prepararte antes? El aseo, la depilación, etc? Mil gracias 🫶🏼

20f and I'm realizing i enjoy my own company and solo orgasm as they are, i never grew up boy crazy and i just don't bother to put myself out there, im really lazy and passive and when i get hit on i lie about having a bf even when the guy is actually good looking.

i rejected 2 of my friends (girl and boy) after they confessed, at best i felt nothing and maybe slightly irritated. my friends think i just don't put myself out there and can't believe it's by choice...but aren't people draining? it's a long process to find anyone worth knowing. especially i feel my generation genz is weird.

i just don't have that fascination and drive for other humans especially sexually, it just feels clinical, i do consume nsfw audios and videos though, mostly art of my favorite ships...anyone can enlighten me if this is normal lol, anyone relates or lives like this?

Never in my 30 years of life have I ever heard anything like this.i was staying at a hotel in Connecticut when I heard a woman screaming from the next room. I was genuinely concernern. My fiancé casually told me that they were having sex. Naturally, I took my investigations to tiktok. A lot of women confessed that when it's great you can'thelp but to scream. Now I'm questioning my sex life.

Hello ladies.. ❤️ I’ve been trying to understand how the actual mechanics and vibration profiles differ between a smaller bullet-style vibe and a full-sized toy or wand. For anyone who has both compact options and heavier full-sized devices, how do u compare them in terms of sensation, noise level, and control during use??

i've read beginner guides suggest starting small with a compact bullet vibe to figure out what feels good without feeling overwhelmed by heavy motors or complex attachments. And I dont know if its the case for everybody here.

So I'm very young (not exposing my age) and I just got my first dildo, I was really excited when it came in and I got all situated and stuff, I got really aroused with my other toys so I thought it was time to try it so I put my fingers in and it felt like literally nothing (any advice for that too?) and so I tried the dildo, I got one that is really recommended for beginners and started putting it in, it hurt so bad I had to take it out almost immediately!!!! I googled and found forums and everyone is just saying get lube I HAVE LUBE!!!!!!! I really don't wanna have wasted my money but I've tried it twice and it hurt both times. Everyone always raves about getting your first dildo I swear but it just hurts and is really uncomfortable 😔😔

How many would you ideally like to have ?

I really don't know where or how to ask this, but I struggling with climaxing while being intimate with people and it has gotten worse. I want to know I'm not alone.

Basic information is I have never been able to climax without high levels of vibration, I'm on zero medications, I am not an anxious performer, I haven't had a traumatic experience with anyone, I only engage with people I'm in committed relationships with and none of them have ever caused me to finish.

I think while being intimate in the past I have been able to climax using other things less times than I can count on my hands, and after a while it either gets more challenging or all together I physically can't. These past few months my issue has gotten worse where I rarely can on my own.

I can still feel good during intimacy however it ends up feeling like I get that build up further and further but then never that peak, which means I also never come down from it. I never lose my energy or get tired cause I can't come down and occasionally if trying for too long I kind of reach that stage where things feel less pleasurable and more painful?

I talked to my therapist and GYNO briefly about this issue yet I'm still struggling. I can't express the mental drag and jealousy I feel because of my issue.

I want to know if anyone else has had this issue? If there is anything I can do?

I tried giving my boyfriend head not too long ago, I found that I was quite good at it however I had also found I have no gag reflex but very weak sucking power. I was still able to make him cum but I found my sucking was really weak. I tried a lot, my breathing was fine, I wasn't gaging, my tongue work was fine, the only issue I had was actually sucking I suppose "hard" enough.

Does anybody else experince this or maybe they have before? If so what exactly did you do or could I do to "pick up" my game.

​

How do you store bigger sex toys when you have kids?

I’m a single mom. I really happily keep single for a while and I dont want to date right now. But I still have needs lol.

I felt my regular vibrator isn’t really doing it for me anymore. I wanted more penetration and movement, something that screams POWER so I started looking at sex machines.

But I have two kids. My kids are always opening drawers and looking for things, so I can’t just leave it in my nightstand. I need to be able to put it away quickly after using it, without spending forever taking it apart and hiding all the pieces.

For those of you with kids, where do you keep your bigger toys? Lockbox? Suitcase? Some kind of case in the closet? And are there any smaller thrusting toys that still feel powerful?

Sooo .. I'm not a big fan of squirting out of concern that it might ick out my husband.. but more importantly that I'd go through hell cleaning the pee off the bed the next day ..

I was on my back with legs up on his shoulders today when I felt the urge to pee and just let it go .. beyond embarrassing looking at the disbelief on his face but it just feels so freeing 😭

If you could take one penis size forever what would it be?

I'm someone who has had very little sexual interaction with the opposite sex. However, I get aroused and masturbate very often, and I was wondering if that points to a high libido. But I have heard that you can't really know when your outlet is masturbation and not partnered sex.

As I'm getting back into dating, is it also something to discuss with potential partners? I feel like in my last relationship, our difference in sexual urges played a huge role in why we drifted apart.