I have a question:
My wife (60) and I (60) have been married for 31 years now. We have had rough times in our marriage as well as good ones. :)

About 20 years ago, we discovered BDSM and had a lot of fun. I have no idea why she ended up being my slave, and if I ask her, she cannot give me an answer.

Anyway, two years ago, she had heart surgery. Since then, she has changed, and a year later she said, 'I want to be your free-use slut.' She is not into being a slut for others. She likes to wear see-through clothes, and I can touch her breasts wherever I like; she doesn’t care if someone is around. When I gave the remote control of her vibrator to a stranger who was drunk, she enjoyed it.

I can have sex whenever I want, and I can use all her holes. I don’t push or force her, and she doesn’t depend on me financially!

If she asks me if I want sex, she dresses the way I like. When I tell her I’d like to record a video while she masturbates, she spreads her legs and I start recording. Or if she asks what she should put in her ass and pussy, I say, 'Whatever you like,' and she does it before we have sex. She puts a paddle beside her, even when we don’t have any rules. She says, 'I know you like it and you can spank my ass as much as you want'—though I know she does that for me, not because she loves it herself.
When we have sex, she has a 10-second orgasm and screams very loudly.

As for the recordings, I do not show them to anyone. I delete them after a day or two, but it turns me on to have such a personal slut at home.

What I would like to know is: Can heart surgery change a person so much? I’m afraid that she will stop all of this, just like she did once before after two years—why did she stop then? She doesn’t know. Should I spank her? Use her?

My sir and I (and to a much lesser extent my sir's girlfriend) were in a keyholder/lockee chastity/denial focused relationship.

My sir was doing his usual "I have to check you for lumps" inspection when he found some really bad chafing on my shaft. He got really upset that I chose being locked instead of saying something. I ended up crying because I got overwhelmed by my sir freaking out (Im on the spectrum, I tend to cry when things become too much). After swallowing enough tears to tell him I didn't know it was that bad he calmed down. He told me that the rest of locktober and NNN were off the table. He said im getting a new cage for Christmas but until then he wants to explore things like milking and letting his girlfriend "use me"

My head is spinning, i feel bad about failing locktober despite sir saying it wasn't my fault, the idea of getting milked or being with a girl is really scary to me.

I've posted about this experience before in my last two posts but I thought I should mention all the details ( maybe it's my way to process what happened)

I 37 (f) masochist/submissive had a bdsm experience about a month ago. I've known the guy for 2 years online but we never met in person before because he lives in another country. The session was really intense, I received some hard bastinado and spanking too, but at some point in the middle of the bastinado punishment the pain was too much for me to handle and I wanted him to stop for a minute and let me catch my breath and I begged him but he said no It's up for me to decide wether you had enough , I cried and screamed so hard begging him to stop but he didn't, I even used the safe word but he acted like he didn't hear it and got even more violent, I was really scared at the time and felt trapped and managed to free my hands and started to push him off me but he was stronger than me and muscular and I think the fight continued for a minute or more until he finally stopped and stepped back , and when he stopped he acted like nothing happened and he even made a stupid comment that I should watch out because I almost broke my phone while fighting. . My memory is blurry after that scene and I don't remember how he managed to convince me to continue the session but I remember that after I calmed down I looked around and I noticed the cane was next to me on the couch so I grabbed it in a desperate attempt to keep it away from him because I wasn't ready to go through the pain again. But I keep remembering a conversation we had prior to this scene when he asked me during the session about my wildest fantasies so I replied that it's me being tied up and the cane hitting my feet non stop, and he said good we're here to make your fantasies come true.

Also he asked me many times to touch myself while I'm recieving bastinado because he wanted me " to connect pain with pleasure" I tried but couldn't do it because the pain was too sharp and distracted me from focusing on anything else

Near the end of season he spanked me with an intense force using his bare hands only ( it was extremely painful he kept hitting without stopping) then he stopped for a moment and asked me if I wanted some help to reach orgasm by touching me with his finger, I said yes because I just wanted the pain to stop and right once he touched me I went into subspace( or trauma induced disassociation im not sure) , I felt so drowsy and just wanted to sleep, I remember him making comments about how sexually cold I was and he said jokingly "you idiot I'm trying to turn you on not getting you to bed," then he said at least tell me if I'm touching the right spot and I said yes kind of, after that for some reason I reached out to his hand( he was placing one hand on my butt) and held it and kept touching his thumb and it was the only thing I was focused on inside that room , ironically it made me feel very safe at the time, then I started to feel my body again and I felt something saggy and wet moving down there but it also felt like it was my own body, it was a vague and unclear sensation, I panicked at that time because I realised that I was completely exposed ( I'm a virgin and yes it's completely normal to be virgin at this age where I come from)so I turned around to check if he was still fully dressed and he was, shortly after that he stopped and said his hand is starting to hurt and I should finish it myself and went to wash his hand

After that he said I still have 100 strokes to receive , I was extremely exhausted at this point and the idea that I still had to go through the pain again terrified me , so I kept begging him to stop . He said well there's a way out and it's easy, I said sure I would do anything so he said I need you to help me orgasm because it's the only way to calm down and leave you rest and he showed me how to do it, I held his dick with my hand trying to do as he taught me but his idea was me touching his dick while I'm recieving bastinado I couldn't do it because the pain was too sharp so he changed his mind and did it by himself eventually

My question is was I sexually assaulted when I was in subspace ( there was some blood on my underwear when I got back home and I had sharp pelvic pain that lasted for a week)

I'm a submissive but more into "yielding" I'd say. I like to feel like I'm being "taken" and swept up in the moment. My no is really important and I don't like to feel lower than someone. It's more that I don't want to make the structure, I want to be wooed. I also like a yes or no game where he tries things and I just say yes or no. If I really trust him...and I haven't found this yet, I'd love for a man to "take me" while I softly say 'no'. I don't like force but I love to be ravaged. Does that sound confusing or does it sound like a turn on?

My husband and I have recently started exploring BDSM. I’ve realized certain kinks that I really like - such as hard flogging/spanking, daddy/dom dynamic, being choked, being held down, very rough sex, anal play, etc.

My husband is also learning things that he likes - but he’s always afraid of hurting me. I’ve tried to explain to him that pain during sex is something that I loved - even though I have a hard time articulating why sometimes. Sometimes I think he needs to be reminded and talked through it, “Daddy I like this. Daddy I want more. Please hurt me.” Etc.

Tonight we are going to try our first “real” BDSM session with an edge chain flogger, nipple clamps, anal plug, etc, so I’m looking for advice on how to make the session amazing. I want to learn how to improve my dirty talking while being fucked and how to please him.

I can't think of anything more amazing than being in a gathering of women where we spend time feeling relaxed, pampering ourselves, communing with each other and then have a group of men arrive and serve us and then worship our bodies. Oh my God!! Thinking about it just gets me started! Would any men out there love this idea?

Está bella mujer se llama Casandra es mi novia tenemos 5 años de novios y planes de boda pero un día en una fiesta unos amigos Samanta Johana Yovana Jorge Salvador y Alberto le entregaron unas fotos y videos donde yo supuestamente le estaba siendo infiel con una mujer ella les creyó todo lo que ella no sabía es que las fotos y videos eran falsas eran de un hombre que se parecía mucho a mí y la mujer era su novia pero se dejaron comprar ya que estos amigos le pagaron dinero que sacaron de la caja fuerte de la empresa porque mi novia aparte era dueña de la empresa nosotros éramos empleados pero Cassandra les creyó todo desde entonces me tienes esclavizado con un collar y una correa de bronce alrededor de mi cuello el collar junto con la correa tienen seis candados electrónicos y seis manuales también me tiene con un cinturón de castidad con seis candados electrónicos y seis manuales siempre de rodillas mirando al piso sin poder hablar ni moverme sin su permiso me llama mascota mi perrito mi esclavo y yo tengo que llamarla mi dueña mi señora mi diosa o mi ama

I tried posting in other subs to get specifically women’s opinions, but I just got told to go to therapy multiple times so I’m posting here. I’m pretty kinky and into rough sex and extreme degradation. I won’t get into all of that, but there’s one particular kink that genuinely makes me feel disgusted with myself sometimes.
I consider myself a very strong feminist, but for some reason, misogynistic men turn me on. Which is so confusing because it completely contradicts everything I believe in and stand for in real life. Maybe that contradiction is part of what makes it appealing to me??? Idk
I love when men mock me, belittle my intelligence, act like I’m incapable of living without them, or treat me like I’m nothing more than a stupid, brainless bimbo. The more misogynistic and condescending they are, the more it turns me on.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to dissect why I feel this way because, honestly, sometimes I’m genuinely disgusted by my own attraction to it. I would NEVER tolerate these attitudes toward women in my everyday life, yet somehow, in a sexual context, they’re exactly what I find appealing.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s actually a power thing for me, just in a different way than you’d expect. There’s something almost satisfying about a man genuinely believing I’m so stupid and beneath him, while I’m fully aware of the version of myself I’m presenting to him. I’m the one controlling how he perceives me.
There is also something especially fascinating about the idea of a man falling in love with this submissive, unintelligent version of me, only to eventually realize that I’m nothing like the woman he thought I was. Then suddenly I’m the manipulative one, or somehow part of the reason he hates women in the first place.
I don’t even know if I’m explaining this correctly..it’s just difficult being sexually attracted to something that goes against your actual beliefs and values.

Nothing interesting but just an amusing thing this evening.

Was playing scrabble with my partner and she was laughing before her play and then said “I’ve got your favourite place to be” and played “Subzone” and now I’m committed to calling it Subzone over Subspace but would love to know what other people refer to it as.

I swear I’ve been in Subzone since she mentioned it now, not a lot going on up in there just waiting for commands.

TW: mentions of rough sex, edgeplay, aggressive sex, cutting, knifeplay,cnc (i tried to not be too graphic)

\***TLDR: my gf was a switch, then just a bottom. She told me she likes more aggressive sex and now is topping me all of a sudden and idk if i should be concerned or just enjoy it\***

hi so me and my gf (both female) have been dating for almost two years and when we started dating we both acted as verse/switches and our sex would always go both ways and i was rly happy with this as its smth ive never experienced from a partner before and im 100% a switch

A year into out relationship she says she doesnt like being dominant at all anymore, she just changed her preferences, and she would top me on occasion if i rly wanted. This made me feel bad bc it was rly random and i hate the “if i rly wanted” i dont want sex to just be benefiting one of us i want to only do things she enjoys but i also want to physically feel things. I accommodate her despite feeling a little sad abt it and we had sex once a week at most. On occasion she’d top me and seem rly into it beforehand but during she just looked bored. It caused issue in our relationship and we just both decided she wouldnt top anymore

A few weeks ago she brought up that shes into really rough sex, knifeplay, cutting, and just generally edgeplay and cnc. I thought it sounded fun and like a new way for me to be dominant towards her so i agreed to do it. I dont have many of my own kinks but i love trying new things and would do almost anything tbh.
Shes more experienced in what she wanted than i was bc she used to do the same things just solo so i asked her to show me what she wants by just demonstrating on me so i knew how rough she rly wanted me to be. We got a knife, put together a med/aftercare kit and came up with safe words and whatnot. She started off slow until she got to how rough she wanted me to be and it took about 10 minutes to work up to it and i didnt think id have a reaction bc its not something i thought i was into but i definitely had a reaction and she started teasing me and being really dominant and getting REALLY into it and i just let her bc it felt great and i wasnt rly thinking coherently. She fucked me like that almost every day since the first time. Ive only topped her once in like 3 weeks bc she just has been nonstop pleasing me. I feel like im in a 24/7 scene bc of how horny we both have been.

We were doing fine in our relationship before this, but since we started having sex this way, we have been like insanely good. I think her opening up abt a traditionally unconventional kink made it easier for her to open up abt other things aswell and our communication has been great, chemistry has been great, i feel confident in myself ect ect. She used to not be a touchy person, i love cuddling and laying around and being lazy together, lately shes been rly cuddly and just wanting to be physically touching all the time.

IM SO HAPPY but im also overthinking. I dont want her to stop but i question why shes more cuddly now, why being rough and aggressive to me makes her seem more into me, why does her lowk beating me turn her on more than just making me feel good? Idk if i should complain bc i do feel good with what shes doing and we both consent i just dont get why she was bored and seemed totally uninterested in topping me during normal sexy but she gets obsessed and yearning for it now? maybe she just likes sex better now that we are exploring a kink of hers and i shouldnt read into it bc we are both happy? Ive been in abusive relationships before that i didnt realize were abusive until it was rly bad so from an outside perspective does this sound concerning or is it normal for preferences to change like this and it doesnt necessarily mean anything bad?

Mid size size queen here and I’m unsatisfied with the penis gags I’m seeing that are like 2-5”…haven’t found anything longer than that.

Does anyone have any recs for a bigger gag dildo or is there one that has the design of a strap on in which I can use a ring and tighten whatever dildo I want to use? I’ve been looking and have yet to come across this.

Otherwise, has anyone had success using a thigh strap on on the mouth? I have no experience using a thigh strap on, and therefore I don’t know if this idea is clever, effective, safe, or the opposite.

Open to other ideas…I want my sub to fuck me with his head/neck.

Thank you 🖤

Ideas for maintaining our D/s dynamic when we're apart 👀

I'm looking for some ideas and inspiration from other people in D/s relationships.

I'm going to be away for the weekend, and although we absolutely respect that family life, work and everyday responsibilities come first, I'd like to find ways to maintain our dynamic when my submissive has some time to herself.

I'm interested in tasks that help keep that connection and sense of submission present even when we're not physically together. This could be daily rituals, personal challenges, acts of service, self-reflection, check-ins, or something a little more creative.

I'm not looking to take over her entire weekend or have her constantly focused on the dynamic. It's about making use of those little pockets of alone time to keep that connection alive and give her something meaningful to do within our dynamic.

For those of you in D/s relationships, what tasks do you enjoy giving or receiving when you're apart? I'd particularly love ideas that go beyond the usual suggestions and work around normal day-to-day life.

Thanks in advance! 😊

I'm thinking of scenes where the submissive partner is made to sit off on their own and watch while the dominant partner pleasures themself, while involving similar humiliation tropes (e.g. you're not good enough for me, look how much better this toy pleases me). Elements of denial, forced voyeurism, humiliation, objectification getting off on someone getting pleasure from a source that's not you.....

I can think of ways to describe it but I'm wondering if there's a simple term that already exists.

I recently bought a snake whip, and after 20 minutes of practising both sideways hits and cracking, my wrist hurt till noon the next day. I've never had a problem with my wrists before. Is this normal for a beginner, or am I doing something wrong/ are my wrists bad?

Do dungeons and or the BDSM community charge a subscription?

hi! i am f22 and my bf is m24, and when we met he was the vanilla one. Or at least i thought. I've kinda ruined him in different aspects of kink and taught him what I know, however we are beginning to uncover that there are so many more kinks neither of us know about! I'd like to learn, and for some context we have very heavily been over bdsm everything because i am into that myself. So moving beyond bdsm and into specific kinks, what are are some of your guys kinks that you really enjoy. this can be anything from piss kinks to heavy puppy play etc! i just kinda wanna learn some more and explore things with him.

I know that this is all fluid and there most definitely more than just 50 shades of any color. What I’m unsure of is how to classify myself as a Dom. Not to say that I don’t have characteristics of different types like pleasure dom or daddy dom, but I know that those also don’t identify me or rather I don’t identify with them. I will always lead any relationship with respect and boundaries and would never seek to push anyone past an agreed upon limit.

I know that in any relationship, especially within this realm, that respect is earned, position is earned, love is earned. I understand that. So what I’m about to explain isn’t meant to be heard or read as “this is simply what I expect and give it to me now”, it’s meant to be viewed as “so what is it/ what am I? How do I identify it? Do other kinks go into it”. So with that being said, here is what I hope to one day find in a submissive:

I like to be listened to. And not just by giving an order, but actually heard when I speak. It’s happened seldom but I’ve met a few women in my life that hung onto every word I’ve said and really looked at me when I spoke, and listened. I do also like to be heeded. I love giving commands and them being followed lol. Freedom through service is a way I view it. I think it’s incredibly hot when a woman can get off by me having an orgasm. I also enjoy providing pleasure but (not to sound like an idiot dickhead) I feel like I want my pleasure to supercede yours. I like being asked permission. Plain and simple.

Aside from the little bit of that deeper portion I’m also into: creampies, squirting, cnc fantasies, FREE USE (that’s a big one), tits (I love butts too but I’m a tit man), sweaty girls (post exercise), to name a few.

So community, I ask humbly, what is this and what am I?

I want quality stuff for a good price. Found some stores in Toronto that ship to Quebec but I have to sell a kidney to afford those.

Any quality kits that are durable (not Amazon junk) but also don't cost an arm and a leg?

I'm married, I love my wife, but she's never been in to bondage.

I've always been into bondage, even as a teen I'd create capture games to play with friends before I was even attracted to woman. Since being a young adult the idea of tying someone up, having them helpless in some way has been more appealing than sex. Before meeting my wife this only happened twice, and at the most basic level, with girlfriends who just weren't into it.

Then I met my wife just before going to university. We've been together 20 years and have two amazing children. My libido has never been particularly high, maybe linked to never achieving my true desires. I told her about my kink about two weeks into dating and to her credit once in a blue moon I do tie her up even now, but it's just hands together in front of her, or her ankles tied as we watch TV but only for about 5 minutes. She doesn't enjoy it, she finds it uncomfortable.

I tried talking to her about her kinks, try and like do for her in exchange as it were. She doesn't have any kinks at all, doesn't even want me to dress up, do anything risky. I'm in my early 40s now and about a year ago out of nowhere my libido shot up, I'm horney all the time. At first it was good, I paid her more sexual attention generally and she loved it. But then life, and work and kids all killed it for us really doing much of anything sexual. And obviously bondage was still off the table, bar the odd scarf round the wrists once in a blue moon again.

I love her and I won't cheat. I started writing erotic BDSM stories but I'm a bad writer. I showed her some, and on top of not being bothered she got very upset once one had a none concensual theme so I don't share them with her now. I've started doing a little roleplay over Reddit with strangers, is this cheating? I don't think it is but I know she would disagree.

I just would like once in my life to tie up a woman who enjoyed being in rope. This will never happen. This is my regret and my choice.

Edit. I've heard what everyone said about the roleplay. I consider it and look at healthier outlets.

As for the other advice given, honestly knowing my wife all these concepts of going to a club together, or gaining permission for a non sexual bondage partner is too far out of our reality. We're just to average for that I think, and with her mental health and view on the world I think she would just take any of it as a step away from here.

This was honestly just a vent, not looking for advice or any outcome. That said, I might tell her the writing has continued and see if she wants to share any, but have a conversation about the CNC element first. I might also talk to her about just some simple bondage the odd night when the kids are in bed while we're watching TV. Talk to her about what it means to me and what would make it more comfortable for her. We will see.

Heya!

I’m a female soft dom and my new lover has a kink I didn’t know about.

He likes to feel safe, protected, and ultimately, he likes the feeling of being a part of my own body (during penetration). He likes affirmations like « I’ll take care of you », « I’ll protect you ».

Does is sounds familiar to you? How do you play with that?

I am into Sph and want to shrink my size over time but trying to avoid hormones, is there a way?

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but couldn’t think of anywhere else.

Long story short, my wife and I are 3 kids deep and haven’t had a “proper” night alone for a while. I’m looking to organise a night together but need to rekindle the spark we both used to enjoy.

My wife is naturally submissive and likes to be lead, and I’ve enjoyed filling that role. We have dabbled in “risky” scenarios before and some public adventures (all respectful scenarios) which we both have enjoyed back in the day.

What are some ideas in those types of fields, or any others where we can enjoy for a night together again? Also, if there’s any toys etc that would be of use as well?

Thank you in advance!

Hii^.^ I recently found out im really into CNC but only if I’m the dominant one, which is funny since im such a sub typically. Im a straight so I just really wanted to know like how would that work exactly (no pegging) ? What could u do to like make it hotter and more CNC? Sorry if this is stuoid I’m kinda new to BDSM and i really think this is hot and wanna try it out one day.