i’m a 23 year old autistic woman. for my entire life i have always been a huge loner. it never mattered to me though. i do have a couple friends and family members that i like hanging out with, but at the end of the day i will always choose being alone over being with people. one of my biggest hobbies is going for walks in the forest on my own, i literally have to travel 1,5 hours with public transport to even get there but it is worth it every time, i feel so safe and at home there and i feel like i can truly be myself. i also like going to the movie theatre alone etc. and i don’t want a relationship or children either (i’m also aroace)

i know for certain that it’s a choice, i do have the options to hang out with people more and i’m for sure not anxious around my friends and family but it just drains me and overwhelms me to hang out with people, no matter how much i love them. as a child i always preferred playing alone, now as an adult i still prefer to be alone. if i had the opportunity, i would move away to a forest cottage with my cats lol. being alone 99% of the time is an active choice i make, but for my entire life, everyone has told me that it’s wrong. so many people have told me i need to socialize more and that i’ll be ‘so glad i did’, and trust me i have TRIED, but i am NEVER glad that i socialized. is it a problem? do i need to fix this? i’ve pushed myself a lot but it doesn’t work. i’ve also had people tell me that i need to get into a relationship eventually because otherwise i ‘won’t have anyone i belong to’

I'm someone who doesn't want children, although I of course like I'm sure most people have that fleeting thoughts of motherhood and the good moments. I'm 20 at the moment, and I am so extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to raise 5 very young kittens, one neonatal, because my god. It confirmed that I do NOT want to have kids

Getting to have the first hand experiences of having to wake up several times a night and mix up a bottle, struggle to get them to eat, clean poop, clean bedding, keep them warm, hold and sooth, take to the vet, provide medical care for diarrhea and constipation, pay for it, deal with picky eaters, potty train, etc etc. really made me realize it just wasn't something I could handle for more than the few weeks where kittens need that extensive care. And that was with an animal that wouldn't understand if I said something off color out of frustration and all the unique aspects of human children.

But it also made me really wish there was some program or something where that was accessible to people who want or are on the fence about children before having a baby. I feel like so many mothers go in with a sunshine and rainbows fairytale without realizing how EXHAUSTING it is and all the not so fun parts. Now obviously it was rewarding too, and I think that's great, I just wish people had the opportunity to know before having a full ass human baby to take care of for several decades. Then they could make a more informed decision on if and when they want to commit to all that. I think it would do so much to benefit both parents and their children too

As the caption says - I'm tired of being everyone's complaint sponge - so Reddit, you're mine for the moment. My friends are in motherhood mode and don't have time to really be friends right now and I'm feeling like I have no one to talk to...My boyfriend has a chronic illness - he deals with this every day. I have to say, while I love him and try to keep my perspective to being supportive of how he feels every single day...I'm so exhausted after hearing him complain about how he feels every. single. day. and never feeling heard myself or any sort of acknowledgement that my own feelings of pain or tiredness are just as important. I'm also starting to feel like sex with him is a chore and like he's just using me as physical melatonin to fall asleep. That is all - I'm just feeling very used, alone, and unheard. (Also hilarious side note, he doesn't think I know that he watches porn... or some rando's reddit porn photos to jerk off in the middle of the night - BRO our bed is not that great that I don't wake up and take note of you jerking off literally right next to me...)

When I tried casual dating, I went into it knowing that things could go badly, and it did, but not that bad (no pregnancy, no STD’s, no unaliving, etc.). What I did deal with however was some bad sex, immaturity on the man’s part, disrespectfulness on the man’s part, and so on. They can be so angry and passive aggressive. You’d think they’d be happy to be getting laid, but I always get a hint of aggressiveness from them. I’ve never had an amazing experience with any man and my mediocre experiences inevitably lead me to decide to stop doing it altogether. I think it’s overrated and I’ve said many times that it benefits men more than women. They get free sex at their convenience and women for the most part get underwhelming experiences and trauma.

What this experience has shown me is that the average man is a degenerate. The amount of men I’ve seen offer to invite me to their place or have sex in a car, and I just met them, is disturbing. I even remember one man in his 40’s saying that he doesn’t wear protection but if I got pregnant he’d take care of the baby. Just met this man. Is this supposed to be “fun”? Exciting? It’s horrifying to me.

Hey guys, is there a chance this period will last 6+ weeks? When I first got on birth control as a high schooler I experienced a 6 week long period..it was so traumatic i didnt take the pill again until I was 20 and in a committed relationship, now im 3 weeks away from being 29, one year celibate and too depressed to remember to take my birth control every day. So I guess it just started again :( is there anything I can do to get through the period faster?

One thing that genuinely shocked me was realizing how many men struggle with being alone. I don’t know whether it comes from biology, the way they are raised, or the way society feeds their ego by making them feel valued when they have multiple women interested in them or when they are constantly in relationships.

I was seeing a guy for a while, and he seemed genuinely interested in me. However, because of my own emotional barriers and the way I was protecting myself, things moved a bit slower than they probably could have.

Still, I can’t say that the time we spent together wasn’t beautiful. We were spending time together, getting to know each other, but we weren’t officially in a relationship.

One day, we went on a trip with a group of friends, and he met a girl there. They instantly clicked and basically started something that same day.
That really shocked me because he had made me feel like he wanted something with me. But the moment things couldn’t move forward quickly with me, he found someone else and got involved with her almost immediately.

It made me realize that maybe some people are no longer looking for someone who is truly compatible or someone with real qualities. Instead, they choose someone with whom things can happen quickly and easily.

Needless to say, I was extremely disappointed.

Also, we are both in our thirties, and I thought we might connect with someone on an emotional level — that it wouldn’t happen instantly, but that it would take time to get to know each other.

After he got involved with her, they talked about their relationship the very next day and decided they didn’t want to take it any further. Later, he reached out to me, apologized, and said that he had behaved immaturely.

I tried not to make a big deal out of it, but I definitely became more distant. He still invites me to have coffee one-on-one, but I turn him down every time. I think he had his chance.

I’m 18 (F) and i’ve never truly liked anyone romantically. I have had my first kiss on my birthday trip in a club but it was more like checking something off a bucket list, as i wanted to get over it. While i had it i didnt feel anything either ( some people say you should feel butterflies ), the guy was nice and looked good but that was it. I have a few fictional characters i’ve grown attached to but that is the closest thing ive had to a ‘crush’. All of my life all of my friends constantly had crushes/talking stages or even relationships, getting obsessed over a person they’ve been talking to for less than a week, and while i have not felt it before, now that im an adult i feel like im missing out. Is there something wrong with me? Am i incapable of romantic attachment?

Pushy as in not respecting your boundaries or decisions.

a few weeks ago i got my regular pap smear and my results came back positive for hpv. i decidedly did my research and know that there's a small percent that i'll get cervical cancer and am planning to get another vaccine soon. today i had my colposcopy, which i assume was just going to be as uncomfortable as a pap smear. i was extremely tense during it but not in pain, mostly just neutral, until my doctor was suddenly like, "did you know you have a cervical polyp?" i have never heard of a polyp in my life. she proceeded to remove it and i was told i would feel a pulling or pinching sensation, which i did, and it was deeply weird. the procedure felt like so long after that. whatever she was doing induced painful period-like cramps but some of the pain was so foreign to me that i genuinely felt like i was getting assaulted. i ended up crying and was given apple juice and crackers and tylenol. i'd never experienced something that traumatizing in my life and while i was trying to come down from my panic i just kept feeling disgusted with my body and the concept of having a vagina and angry that i had an abnormality because i try to make sure i'm healthy like the average human being. i'm also nonbinary so the procedure made me feel even worse about my relationship to womanhood. i immediately had to go back to work after the procedure and i was thinking about how i would rather be completely unconscious. i'm really worried this is going to affect my mental health -- i just got more wellbutrin and i think it definitely made me feel more in control and happier emotionally, but this procedure shellshocked me. i feel like a helpless animal right now.

I have recently noticed I am angry presenting, in everything I do.

I like to keep myself to myself and mind my own business which others mistake for me not being social, or that I do not like people or that I am difficult.

The truth is I am the opposite to this. I am fun, loving and very loud.

I believe the angerness comes from my upbringing and how people have treated me so I start feeling uncomfortable near people I have never met.

I also believe it’s because of my angerness that I put people off, including men and then I feel bitter that I am always pushed to the side or people treat me differently as though I am a second thought.

I see it as me protecting myself and my peace, and in the long run I don’t want people seeing me as this bitter, horrible person when I am the opposite.

There’s so much to me and it feels condensed and compacted because of how my family and friends have treated me and they all get to have loving connections.

Especially with men, I become very hostile with them and refuse to engage with them. Of course it’s not all men, and I do have good conversations and laughter with them.

However, the hostility and lack of trust I have for them, makes it harder for them to see me as a person rather than she’s difficult.

I also grew up in a household where I didn’t see any examples of a healthy loving relationship and all my friends were in toxic relationships, who would lie and cheat on each other. Of course, I have always remained single as I am protecting myself.

It’s difficult seeing people choose other people and you feeling like a remnant.

I’ve always been self-conscious about my labia — it’s long and brown at the ends. It started when I heard a girl make fun of another girl for have “beef” down there. I was still a virgin and that became another reason why i didn’t want to have sex… what if i was made fun of too.

I literally looked up places to get a labiaplasty. I’d become more open to close friends and talk about it, but none of them had the same issue. Reddit did helped a lot bc there were so many people saying it was normal. But still … I hated what i looked like down there!

That was until I met the first guy I slept with. He was gentle and didn’t mind at all. It’s like I was normal!

At first I thought… wow he’s just mature and this is how mature men are (he’s a bit older than me). They don’t gaf about what it looks like. Truly. And that’s really all you need, is a real man who understands bodies look different. As long as you take care of yourself, it DOESNT MATTER.

But then we had this interaction. He ft me when i was showing so I answered. I was shampooing and he was GUSHING over how he could see my labia from the back, just hanging there (that sounds strange, but when you have a thigh gap and longer labia… news flash you can see it). He didn’t say it like that obviously, but it was the first time i realized… wow, there are men who really do just like women’s bodies.

So girly. you are NORMAL. if one boy doesn’t love you or the way you look down there, a man will step up. Don’t get surgery unless you ACTUALLY HAVE TO. And trust me. my labia is pretty long and thick. Also, don’t be so make centered when it comes to your body. women are beautiful. you do you because of YOU❤️

I was reminded of this recently. When I was a freshman in college, my dorm had thin walls. Gender was divided by room and not by floor, so I'm a girl and to my left was a guy I thought was alright. Then, one night, he has a girl over. He's being loud- obviously drunk. I'm covering my head with my pillow trying not to listen when I hear it. "No", then "not right now", then "get off of me" from the girl.

My heart is hammering in my chest. All the metaphors of ice in your veins felt completely accurate. For a few minutes- minutes! -she begs this fucker to stop with all different excuses and that's when I finally get out of bed, throw my clothes on, and do something maybe really stupid.

I knock on their door. The girl opens the door. The guy is shoving his head over her shoulder to get a look. In my best trembling little SJW voice I say "she said no. If you don't stop I'll call the police."

The girl is embarrassed immediately. She promises she's fine. She shoves the guy's head off her shoulder. I amble back to my room and she shuts the door and I hold my breath and listen through the walls. The guy makes one more pass before she says "don't wake the neighbor, let's watch Finding Nemo" and then that's all they did. I drift off to Ellen Degeneres yapping and the next morning when I wake up for class, the girl is already gone.

I spent the rest of my time in that dorm locking my door extremely thoroughly, and soon I transferred out of the building.

I think about her more than I should. Was she his girlfriend, a friend, a hookup? Was she relieved or embarrassed? Did she break up? Stay with him? Did I only make things worse for her if she wasn't able to leave? Does she even think about it still?

Nowadays, post-grad, if I hear any noise from my neighboring apartments, I hold my breath and listen. I feel the hair on the back of my neck raise whenever I hear yelling or upset voices. It happened again a few nights ago. I couldn't make anything out. I'm not trying to be a hero but I can't stop thinking about what might happen. I know it's not very rational behavior, but. . .

Does anyone else have a similar story?

Not just sex. I feel like it’s really important to respect someone else’s autonomy in all areas of life. Sometimes it feels like people begin and end conversations about consent in the bedroom, and I think that’s a shame.

I might just be sensitive to pressure, but it bothers me that people frequently make requests in a way that makes it sound like there is only one right answer. It’s really important to me to present my requests in a way that gives the other person time to decide, while also making it clear that both yes and no are equally acceptable answers. I like to provide choice whenever possible. I want things to be voluntary. Sometimes it feels like not enough of my peers share that sentiment.

.. and you totally have witch hair going on. Your housemate comes to your door, and insists that you come out to the living room right now. She won't tell you why or for what.

So you trudge out there, and it's your old boyfriend whom you parted with sadly, decades ago, who you don't particularly want or need to see and certainly not in the condition you're in. It's not like you obsess on him or ever talk about him or are pining away, you never think of him actually. She knows this.

Note: he did not show up to see you, he came to say hi to housemate. He doesn't know you've moved in there.

Or picture this: different house, different housemate.

Housemate comes to your door. She is drunk. She says someone's on the phone for you, and hands you the phone. It's your grown child's father, whom you did not part with amicably, haven't seen or spoken to for years, he has settled down with someone and you are fine with that and never think of him anymore.

Housemate called him.

These things are malicious, right? You are perfectly happy, minding your own business, have no problem being single and these men are far behind you, not even in your rear view mirror anymore. You have not expressed any interest whatsoever in catching up with these people and frankly don't really care where they are or what they're doing.

To me, that's just plain shit-disturbing. Right?

​

TW: sexual assault and sexual contact

My daughter, who I'll call Calypso, (16f) is Jane Doe and I don't deny that. I want to add that she has ASD and everything is black and white. My conundrum comes from her exaggerations and lieing around the incidents. That whole time of my life was pretty traumatic to me and triggering of my own sexual assaults.

The first incident happened at our old house a few years ago. Calypso allowed her boyfriend's sister to close the bedroom door when she left the room. This was against the rules. They started making out, gave each other hickeys, and he grabbed her boob. Both kids (then 12) were caught with hickeys, grounded and we talked to them together as their parents. Calypso said she felt pressured and broke up with him.

I don't claim that she didn't feel pressured or that she didn't said "no." I struggle because she then spent years telling anyone who would listen that she was sexually assaulted. It was like she reveled in the attention. I explained to her that while what happened to her could fall under the big sexual assault umbrella, people hear rape when she says it. She continued telling people for a bit after that. I found this very upsetting. CPS and her school even got in involved.

Next Calypso (then 14) kept lieing about be back with her boyfriend and was sneaking around with him. She would cuddle with him laying down, make out with him, and he would give her massages. We tried to keep her safe and put rules in place. After months of this, he grabbed her boob. She stayed in a relationship with him. She was caught lieing about being in a relationship and was grounded. Months later they broke up. She freaked out afterwards and told us that he previously grabbed her boob and she said she told him "no." She told anyone who would listen she was sexually assaulted. We worked on it in counseling.

Lastly, Calypso (then 15) was involved in another incident where she claimed to have been fingered without her consent by her boyfriend. She wasn't allowed to be in a relationship, or alone with any boys. He knew this as well. The problem with this was she used absolutes, "never consensual" and "every time they were in the car together." (They were never alone in any car.) However she also bragged to a friend about it and it was consensual when she did. (I found this out later on.) It didn't happened the way she said it did. CPS, the police, the school, the church, and her counselor got involved. I couldn't side with her. After months of counseling, it was determined that it was consensual until it wasn't. There was nothing that could be done because of how she said it happened originally. She was labeled a liar.

Now women everywhere are posting "I am Jane Doe." She asked about it and I explained to her the meaning and why people were posting it. I even posted on my social media. She posted, "I am Jane Doe," on her social media. Instead of me feeling proud for her bravery and strength like I do was everyone else, I feel sick and am reminded of everything she has put us through during that time. I feel awful about feeling this way and haven't mentioned it to anyone in my life.

Something I've been learning about over the last six months is how much your menstrual cycle can affect you beyond the actual period itself. I wanted to share my experience because I genuinely wasn't aware of some of these things before they started happening to me, and I wonder how many other women might be going through something similar without knowing what to make of it.

I turned 20 this year, and around that time, I started noticing some significant changes in my cycle. I've heard people say that your cycle can change as you get older, but the changes I experienced weren't just about the timing of my period.

Around ten days to two weeks before my period, I can become unusually emotional. I cry more easily, feel intensely lonely or sad, get irritated over things that normally wouldn't bother me, and find myself overthinking my relationships. I also seem to need more affection, reassurance, and care from the people around me. I become clingier than usual, and sometimes things feel much worse than I would ordinarily perceive them to be.

What's difficult to explain here is that I'm sometimes aware of the change while it's happening. I can recognise that I'm being more sensitive or that I'm overthinking something, but I still feel the emotions very intensely. At other times, I only realise how differently I was experiencing things after my period starts and I begin feeling better.

Within a few hours of my period starting, some of that emotional heaviness can begin lifting. It's gradual, but I start feeling more like myself. And honestly, it's a little bewildering. I look back at how intensely I felt about things and wonder how my emotional state could have shifted so much over a few days.

Learning about premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, helped me understand that there is a recognised medical condition involving severe emotional and physical symptoms in the lead-up to the period.

PMDD is more than ordinary PMS. It can involve severe mood changes, sadness, anxiety, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and feelings of hopelessness that interfere with everyday life. Some people experience suicidal thoughts during their worst symptoms, which is why it's important not to trivialise the condition.

Something I found interesting is that PMDD isn't necessarily caused by abnormal hormone levels. Research suggests that some people are unusually sensitive to the normal hormonal changes that happen during the menstrual cycle. Changes involving oestrogen and progesterone, as well as the brain's response to a progesterone-derived neurosteroid called allopregnanolone, are thought to play a role.

I've also been dealing with really bad headaches and migraines before my period, despite not having experienced headaches like this previously. These can be debilitating, and hormonal fluctuations can contribute to menstrual migraines. Since mine are new, I know they deserve proper medical assessment rather than simply assuming they're hormonal.

Another thing I learnt about is ovulation pain, called Mittelschmerz in German. It literally translates to 'middle pain' and refers to pain around ovulation, which usually occurs around the middle of the menstrual cycle.

I'd always associated menstrual pain with period cramps, but ovulation itself can cause pain too. Some people experience a mild ache, while others experience more intense pain. Mine can be severe enough that there have been times when I couldn't get out of bed.

I think it's worth knowing that these things exist, especially because we don't always have the vocabulary to describe what we're experiencing. At the same time, severe pelvic pain shouldn't automatically be assumed to be ovulation pain, and new or debilitating symptoms deserve medical attention.

I'm not claiming a formal diagnosis of PMDD, and I'm still learning about what's happening to me. PMDD, PMS, menstrual migraines, and ovulation pain are distinct issues, even though they can overlap in one person's experience.

I wish we'd been taught a little more about the different phases of the menstrual cycle and the range of symptoms that can accompany them. Knowing that your cycle can affect your mood, concentration, and physical well-being is useful, but so is knowing when something goes beyond the usual discomfort and warrants medical attention.

I'm curious about other women's experiences, especially those who've noticed changes in their cycles in their late teens or early twenties and how did you figure out what was happening?

I'd really like to hear your experiences. I'm sharing mine because I wish I'd known more about these things earlier, and perhaps somebody else here is trying to make sense of something similar.

I am seeing a lot of posts here and on other social media where young women are describing themselves as ugly. Often there is a picture or a video of a perfectly ordinary looking young woman.

I am 48 years old. And I have some advice that will not be taken, but I have to try.

When you compare yourselves to others, you will always lose. Stop it. Learn to appreciate the good parts of yourself. When you say that you're ugly, who's metric are you using because ugly is subjective saame as beautiful. Who told you that you were ugly? What was their motive?

If it was a man, they can go eff themselves.

I'm getting older. I have grey hair and wrinkles that I didn't have ten years ago, but I've built myself a life where that doesn't matter. I have a career that I like. I have friends who love me back. I give back to others. My looks are the least interesting thing about me.

And I can look around me in the world and I see a lot of ordinary people living happy and fulfilled lives without being the new ingenue of a hot thing. Some people have partners. Some don't.

I cannot stress this enough. Y'all need to stop comparing your real life to the highlight reels of other people. You don't know what their life looks like on the inside.

You are probably ordinary looking and that is okay. Build a life from now that when you're 48 years old or 88 years old, you can say that you're proud of it or at least that it was a ride.

hello. i have considered myself nonbinary for a while now, but seeing as i still have my two X chromosomes, and feel i've had some SA experiences that i can't really separate from femaleness, so i thought i may find solace here.

in my early teen years, i had some unfortunate first sexual experiences with someone older than me. he scared and pressured me into things i feel very, very uncomfortable about now. it's been 6-7 years since then, and i don't think about it much now, which is why the sexual repression and terror i've been feeling is so confusing to me.

my actual first time was wanted by me and the person i was with, yet reflecting on it the day/week after it happened, i felt frozen. it was as if i was having flashbacks, seeing someone who loved me as though they were trying to hurt me by engaging with me that way. now, years later, i have a new relationship with a girl i love, but upon engaging with her sexually, i find myself freezing. it's like i can't move, or engage with her affectionately, because i feel like i am being hunted down or hurt, or thinking i really don't want this, even if i was thinking about much i wanted her company all day. every new sexual experience just feels like i'm being attacked; that's the mode my mind goes into once foreplay begins or there's dirty talk.

i assumed part of this feeling was caused by pain in PIV. i have shyed away from PIV because it's really excruciating for me; i got comfortable with a partner to the point we had done that plenty of times, yet i found myself just white knuckling the pain on entry until i got used to it and ignored it. it never went away, and i did not really feel pleasure from the inside of my body, bc that's lowkey never happened for me. however, i would still be really attracted to my partner, and enjoy reflecting on these moments together, so i didn't think the physical pain could be a reason for feeling totally afraid of sex, or detached from it.

ftr, while i *feel* very vulnerable and perhaps similar to how i did when i was actually assaulted, i've never and never will accuse the people i love of assaulting me just because of this mental disconnect, since they've never done anything i asked them not to.

i feel really lost and broken! if anyone knows how to stop being repressed and traumatized that'd be cool

[34F] I recently met someone off a dating app, and while initially I wasn’t super interested, once I saw him I was extremely attracted to him. On our first date, I’d had a beer before and as soon as I met him, I felt heady and extremely drawn to him. I had wine and got drunker and happier. Also helps that we had insane chemistry - not a break in conversation, we were both magnetized by each other. It was clear he was extremely attracted to me, and I felt very confident, and I also couldn’t stop blushing. We had a lot of fun that night, and without a thought I’d kissed him midway through - it was not awkward. After this, we couldn’t stop talking, kissing, holding hands. He must’ve called me “So beautiful” 5 times that night, plus 3-4 times before we’d met (he said a video on my profile made him think I want her!). We talked about non-serious matters and the vibe felt super intense yet light iykwim. We ended up spending 3-4 hours on that date, and planned our second date in 4-5 days. On text, he was a bit formal. I teased things out of him and I fear I was a bit manic.

Some context:
I have been passively on dating apps but not making extra effort to meet people. I lost ~40lbs over the last year that I’d gained over 3 years. The weight gain had really affected my looks, as I have always been attractive and people have found me seductive and claimed that I seem mysterious. I see myself as more playful and flirty, and I know I have good looks. I didn’t notice how much my looks had eroded as I was in a committed relationship at the time, which lacked sexual intensity. While I thought my ex was asexual, I later found out he cheated on me (and I don’t know how often that was). Anyway, that’s to say the last ~4 months I have been regaining my looks and paying attention to fashion. My friends commented that I’d gotten hotter, and I felt I looked good in pictures. But till this instance, I hadn’t yet experienced someone else’s intense attraction towards me for a while. Also, I am usually very slow to feel physical attraction to anyone, am very discerning, so men usually would be interested in me way faster than I’d care for them, and that usually puts me in the driver’s seat and I’ve felt chased more often than not. I’m also professionally accomplished, intelligent, fun, and also very charming - so I don’t usually have nerves about dating.

BUT. How do I put this? I don’t look good naked. I’d even say I look bad naked. I have cellulite and folds and floppiness that I know is unattractive, but I don’t have a benchmark for how much, as I don’t know how other women look. I had gotten obese before and I continue to be relatively heavy (~150lbs). I am very self-conscious about my naked body. Men interact with me seeing me as a hot nerd. I internally worry about the contrast of what people imagine when they pursue me and what they discover at the moment of intimacy. I have a memory that establishes this - I was once humiliated, when a guy who was making out with me at a party literally fled, when we got undressed. I would never have remembered him, if not for how deeply that rejection registered and continues to haunt me or come up.

Coming back.
We had our second date recently, starting with drinks and ending with me spending the night at his and us having sex. The chemistry and the attraction was still as real and intense, despite me even considering i was maybe too drunk or manic the previous time. The night was great, I felt very blessed and grateful for the experience and I had a lasting afterglow the whole of next day. He told me I was beautiful many times again, and also that I looked hot that evening. He complimented me on my outfit, sophistication, etc. Also - I thought we were having dinner, but he’d already eaten so we instead had drinks (another thing that soured me later, as I wondered is this coz dinner is for more intentional longer connections?).

Since 2 days after, I feel extremely low and uneasy. I feel that he’d have hated my body and been so disappointed. I feel that he’d not want to see me again, and if he does, he doesn’t want me the same way. I feel like I’ve lost not just power, but value. I feel like I was stupid when I was smitten with him all these days (he told me 80% of his dates are good, 50% are excellent - while for me that number may be closer to 10% and 2%? I am not out on many dates so i am not sure.). I now suddenly see that all these statements about you are so beautiful meant he was just physically attracted to me, and that was the driver (I don’t date just for physical attraction). I also wonder if it was just a matter of “exotic” desire (we’re from different countries). I found him amazing on all fronts on the contrary, and revealed a lot of myself (not deep, dark secrets, but more my whole personality in honesty). I feel ashamed when I look at my body right now. I am not fundamentally obsessed with him, but feel rejected nonetheless. He has not done anything towards that - but we exchanged a few texts just the day after, nothing since, and I think he’s nice enough that he’ll maybe make a plan, but the frenzy is probably over. I suddenly feel like I misinterpreted everything between us. What felt like chemistry was just his physical desire and we slept together and it’s done. I feel I should’ve left at night instead of staying till the morning (he made me breakfast).

I’m ruminating over this, and feel this strange ache of loss and shame. Is this a normal post-sex vulnerability crash, especially after a long period without this kind of intimacy? Or is something else at play? Does anyone else have experience with this problem?

Edit: I want to just clarify / emphasise coz I know this sounds like generic dysmorphia and expecting model like perfection, but I’ve seen my friends naked and they have round breasts, smooth skin. I have cellulite type skin (not smooth, with dimples) and my breasts are so weird. My areolas are giant and I have boob folds. I have giant thighs. I have also experienced a dutch woman being super interested in me and then we didn’t sleep together when we got home possibly, coz she hated me naked. Same with the boy at the party. It is real and not imagined.

Freaking out!

Did have sex about two days ago. Ended up getting my period yesterday. Today while showering I noticed the right side of my vaginal opening seems to have a “bulge” rather than a lump. I’m definitely freaking out.

I read this can be normal from sex as well as possibly normal due to to hormonal shifts (me being on my period currently)

It is not painful

Has anyone had anything similar happen?
TIA

I genuinely don’t know what to do right now. I was showing my mom a video of a group of my friends from my boyfriend’s Snapchat chat, and she accidentally clicked on it, which took her to the previous photo, and it was a nude of me.

I feel so embarrassed and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to face her now. She already knows my boyfriend, and I can’t stop wondering what she’s thinking about him now or what she thinks of our relationship. I don’t know if she’s judging me, him, or both of us.

I know it was an accident, but I feel so exposed and awkward. I can’t stop thinking about it, and I genuinely don’t know how to act around her anymore.

I don't want to perpetuate the wicked stepmother stereotype but my stepmom did slap me for saying a a word that sounded too close to fuck as a teenager. She also God mad I said jesus christ, even though I wasn't a Christian so not exactly taking the lords name in vain. I wish I could say I'd had a better relationship. After the slap dad she can parent her kid, and he would parent his.

meeting my boyfriends parents for the first time and his mom booked a steakhouse downtown with a dress code. i was going to wear jeans and a nice top but he said maybe not for this place. his mom seems pretty put together from the photos ive seen so now im stressing. i want them to like me but dont want to look like im trying too hard. none of my dresses feel right and dinner is in 3 weeks. any online stores you guys trust ?