r/transpositive • u/D0LLPINK • 1h ago
Experiences Feeling regretful and hopeless
I recently turned 22 and started hrt. I immediately went to research other mtfs and their success in transitioning. I honestly became very regretful and worried about my future appearance. A lot of the trans girls that i would hope to have a similar bodily silhouette to started before or mid puberty. I look back at photos of myself at 18 or even 20 and think how my ribcage or shoulders have gotten bigger. It just makes me feel very regretful because i felt like i was trans since i was very very young and i let all the time pass by before i got the courage to just go for it. Now it feels like ive stifled a huge amount of ground that i can never get back. I'm not so concerned about people percieving me as passing as much as about my own satisfaction with my body. But it feels like that sort of satisfaction is now permanently out of reach. Does anyone have a similar experience, especially around my age, and how did it turn out? Are there any great examples of mtfs starting around my age that turned out exceptionally well? I'm not so interested in empty reassurance. I would like to hear honest opinions of how it may work for me.
P.S. I'm pretty isolated and not really involved in any lgbtq+ communities so im sorry if anything comes off as rude or insensitive