I came across this quote on IG and it made me stop and think. I think it's true indeed, sometimes people go to therapy to deal with those people who won't go to therapy and don't want to work on themselves. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much truth there is in that.

I have come to the realization that I don't know who I am. I have zero goals in life, I have been surviving this thing called life instead of actively participating in it and I think I'm ready to change. I still feel like surge of panic thinking about what all I need to do in order to stop waking up dreading each day, but I have missed out on so many life experiences growing up that I don't even know who I am.

I was never the social one in school. Staying in my dorm room by myself most every day. Having a job where I was alone, never having serious relationships, and only ever depending on myself.

There has to be more to life than what I am experiencing now, but I can't help but wonder if it's all just too late for me.

Are there any other late bloomers out there that can offer some advice?

I have been quiet all my life. I don't see a reason to talk to anyone. I love my peace and my peace is with myself. People always think something is wrong when I am genuinely just living. When I was in middle school as a kid they wanted my parents to send me to thearpy because "i was to quiet" and apparently that means there is something wrong with me. They took me to thearpy and guess what no issues found, so I dropped thearpy. It just infuriating! Can a person just be quiet without people thinking something is wrong?

TW!!

Hello, this is my first time on Reddit and I’ve signed up strictly for help on what to do. I haven’t talked to anyone about this.

My boyfriend and I are Christian and have unfortunately been dealing with lust. I know that this doesn’t matter for a lot of people and I can respect that. This information is just for clarity. In July, my boyfriend and I went to an amusement park for my birthday. We had a great time but may have been too touchy with just hand placements. He would have his hand on my butt a lot and I didn’t shove away or anything I allowed it. However, things got bad on the drive home. This amusement park was 2 hours away from home so I decided to take a nap to pass the time. I shut my eyes and pretty much sat there waiting for sleep to hit me for 30 minutes. My boyfriend keeps his hand on my thigh whenever we drive so that was not foreign. However, I was wearing shorts and his hand was growing closer and closer to my inner thigh. I kept acting like I was asleep and then suddenly his finger was digging in my underwear. I was fully awake this entire time. Why didn’t I say something? I don’t know. I wish I knew. I wish I did something.

The next day I had said that I think (I knew) I felt him touch me privately while I slept. he denied my claims and said he would never do something like that. i don’t know. I feel crazy. I haven’t brought it up since but I feel like I should? but how? Maybe deep down I wanted it? I don’t know. Please help.

im so confused. i just feel like my therapist is acting and lying to me all the time. i dont feel like she understand me, but i also feel like she understands me way too much and is making fun of me? help

yes i will talk to her about it. i just sent her an email. but want some input from here as well because its bothering me a lot.

I’m 19F, and I’ve been trying to understand something about myself for a while.

Since I was around 13–14, I’ve been drawn to things like sexual attention, sex work, partying, drugs, and living a more reckless lifestyle. I’ve fantasized about this kind of life for years, and sometimes I feel like I genuinely want to experience it.

I experienced childhood sexual abuse when I was 7–8. When I was 13, I started sending nudes to older men, and eventually I started posting pictures online because I felt empty and wanted attention. Looking back, I wonder whether some of these things are connected, but I don’t want to assume that everything I feel is because of my trauma.

The confusing part is that I also want love, stability, and a relationship. I can really like someone and still find myself thinking about this other life I could have. Sometimes I feel like I want to be the worst version of myself, almost like I’m drawn to doing things I know could hurt me.

I’m trying to understand whether I want freedom, excitement, validation, or something else entirely.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Did you ever figure out why you felt this way?

Please be kind. I’m genuinely trying to understand myself, not looking for judgment.

I have been going through a rough time. I have been unemployed for 10 months, and have done countless interviews, yet i have not received a single offer. I am doing everything I can, but I can’t seem to get a job. I cry almost every day, my mental health is horrible, I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything more. I can’t control whether or not I receive an offer, I can only control my interview performance but I keep thinking about my past failures.

I would love to hear from real people about this one please! I have read many negative feeback about Betterhelp and thats all i ever knowww :////

My main concerns are: anxious attachment (bpd and rocd)

I am kinda tired of everything and the disaster happening in my head and my energy is very bad

I am thinking more often about just jump of a high building and make everything over cuz i can't handle it anything anymore

HELLO my name is Allison. I offer trauma-informed and Internal Family Systems-Informed therapy to NC residents on Medicaid as well as other insurances. I help people get to the root of their concerns rather than symptom management. If you are interested in doing deep healing you can reach out to me on Psychology Today for a free 15 minute session to see if you would like to move forward on your healing journey with some support.

I've worked as a therapist for 4 years. One thing that has always stood out to me is that when I first got my license and working in public sector I had a mixed bag of clients. Once I opened my own practice, my starting rate was $125 per hour. Only “wealthier” people could afford it, and that boggled my mind because by wealthy I mean middle class..

3 years later my client base is made entirely of upper middle class people and some of them really, really need help. Others, I think could benefit from a journal and they’d be just fine.

It’s giving me burn out, I am losing the passion for my work and I think it’s because the concept of therapy as we know it has lost its touch and how people receive care has changed.

It’s no longer people reaching out when they need a shoulder to cry on, it’s adults in a cycle of complaints about mundane life. Hours spent running through the exact same issue, wrapped up differently.

I want to open a service of purely pro bono anonymous therapy work. No online meetings, no personal identifiable information being shared, no phone calls.

Just texts to my VOIP number when they’re in need. People can provide as much and as little context as they’d like - the point is they’re being heard, I’m listening and supporting free of charge.

I specialize in abuse, trauma, and addiction, my work focuses on supporting individuals who are:

Healing from emotional, psychological, or physical abuse

Navigating addiction, substance use, or recovery

Processing trauma from unhealthy or abusive relationships

Rebuilding self-worth, emotional safety, and personal autonomy

Think of me as a real life ChatGPT, except I’m an actual professional with experience and won’t send you a bill.

If you or someone you know could benefit from this support, please reach out privately to learn more.

I am a 32F, i am a recently graduated psychiatrist, and i have a severe anxiety around authority figures especially my former supervisors/attendings / psychiatry professors ...

I have always been kind of a people-pleaser, also an overachiever , a perfectionist and an anxious person especially when it comes to studies/ work . I come from an achievement-oriented anxious family who raised me to respect my teachers A LOT and to value their approval. But also, the medical environment where i did my psychiatry residency was full of attendings and professors who were demanding / authoritarian/ intrusive / bossy/ took things personally / treated us like children who must just obey their elders otherwise they're disrespectful ...

I suffered a lot throughout my residency because of that . They loved me (because i was the "good student") but i suffered a lot. i couldn't say no, i struggled to prioritise my own needs , i couldn't tolerate my superior's disapproval..

And now that i finally finished my residency and became a specialist, i still feel the same anxiety whenever i see them (for example in a congress) ! I still feel psychologically subordinate to them.

I started to avoid seeing them , i go into PANIC whenever i receive a call from one of them. I am always afraid of their judgement, i find myself seeking their validation and approval, i struggle to make career decisions independently because I’m afraid of disappointing or angering them. .. because in our environment, even after you graduate, they're not just your ex-bosses, they still have some kind of power over you, you're still their student who should be grateful and respectful and you're gonna see them all the time ..

This anxiety is crippling me, especially the body sensations that come with it .. and even though i'm a psychiatrist i can not manage to treat myself ...

The core problem: I intellectually know I’m an independent specialist, but emotionally and physically, I still react as though I’m a student whose safety, worth, and future depend on keeping authority figures satisfied.

TLDR; I’m a recently graduated psychiatrist struggling with severe anxiety around my former supervisors and professors. Growing up in an anxious, achievement-oriented family and training in an authoritarian medical environment reinforced my perfectionism, people-pleasing, fear of disapproval, and need for validation. Despite becoming a specialist, I still feel subordinate to my former superiors, panic when they call, avoid them, fear their judgment, and struggle to make independent career decisions because I’m afraid of disappointing or angering them. This anxiety is crippling, especially because of its intense physical symptoms, and I struggle to manage it despite being a psychiatrist myself.

Edit : I want to ask about tips to manage this anxiety , preferably alone if possible or maybe via online therapy with a foreign therapist ( i find it weird and embarrassing to go seek therapy from another colleague or a private-practice therapist because they know those professors and may be friends with them, it will be like me bad-mouthing their friends. I'm also afraid of this therapist being my collegue and thinking less of me, i mean i'm gonna open my own private practice and i can't even treat myself )

I have ADHD, and over the past few weeks I’ve been getting noticeably worse. I’m struggling with almost everything, including taking my medication consistently. I know I need to take it, but knowing that doesn’t make it easier to actually do it.

What frustrates me is that I can observe myself quite well. I notice changes in my thoughts, emotions, behavior, motivation, and ability to function. I can analyze what I’m experiencing, but I can’t put the pieces together or figure out why it’s happening. I feel like I should be able to understand my own mind, yet I can’t make sense of what’s going on.

I don’t know how much of this is ADHD, depression, emotional exhaustion, sleep disruption, or some combination. My psychiatrist has noticed that I’m getting worse, too.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially being able to recognize and analyze what’s happening inside your head without being able to understand it, while also struggling to follow your medication routine? How did you make sense of it?

Good afternoon all,

Hope to make this make sense as my brain is scrambled currently. Sitting here, eating a late lunch after crying while vacuuming (imagine that) as I wait for a couple hours til my therapy appt

I started therapy last year and after I didn’t connect with one, I feel like I got lucky with my second and it made it easy to open up. Been doing biweekly sessions and mainly just to vent about life, loneliness, etc.

While I got some good info from him and the sessions felt okay, I feel like I’m not able to carry them into the real world after if that makes sense. Mentally, I feel worse as ever and with that plus my insurance now charging me full after my first 10 sessions, I can’t really afford to go anymore.

I notified him of that at my last session over a month ago, and opted to schedule a session for today and to mainly thank him for listening but let him know the above too.

Part of me thinks it’s the right choice, part of me is terrified. I’m slowly getting to the point of thinking when my last day on this beautiful planet will be as the loneliness is becoming crippling.

For those that have been going for a while to the same therapist and knew when their “last session” was going to be, any advice on how to mentally prep or did you know what you were gonna say? It’s getting to me a lot.

Thank you

Hi I think I have ADHD and Autism. I went to a threapist to talk about if I had add or not, the therapist did an evaluation (i think thats what it was) were they asked me question to see if I matched the illness and the determined that I have symptoms of inattentive ADHD, they also said I have symptoms of depression and anxiety disorder. I didn't agree at 1st but the more I site with i think they're write. But I never got a True Diagnosis of either.

But I can't afford the cost, and I my insurance doesn't cover it. I've tried medicaid but they won't approve me. I dont want to say I have either or without 100% proof. Because it's disrespectful to ppl who did the work to get tested for those disorders.

And I have my personal reasons to get tested. Sometimes I look back on my past and think about how I was treated and I need to know, for me if people treated me differently because I was weird and annoying, or if people. ..hurt a disabled person. There's alot of things in my personal life that are a constant struggle the will to live and keeping my arms clean is one of them. Appreciatly people with ADHD and Autism struggle alot with simular things and id like some advice if possible.

I was seeing a therapist for a month earlier this year for help with managing my intrusive thoughts (due to ocd). They suggested that I should start with writing them down somewhere about every 2 hours, so that I could get them out of my head and not ruminate on them in between.

But my problem is, I just can't stay consistent with this. I might successfully write them down on my phone for a week or two and it really does help with my intrusive thoughts, but eventually I get bored and stop writing anything down, and then I start feeling worse again! I know logically that I should be following my therapist's advice, but I have trouble following a routine and also general attention span issues. So, what can I do to keep writing my thoughts down consistently?

Hi, Therapy Reddit.

Nothing beats one-on-one therapy, but I can't afford it anymore, so I was hoping some therapists here could recommend any books/workbooks I could use at home to continue therapy with myself? 

I am so terribly stalled within my own life and need to dig myself out. Therapy got me far enough to understand my issues, but not really make the fixes.

If I were to TLDR my backstory/issue, I'd summarize it as:

My childhood was unstable; often highly loving and supportive mostly thanks to my mother, but also often scary and chaotic and borderline combative thanks to my dad's addiction issues and my mom's codependency that kept us with him.

I said many times in therapy: <i>Grass is always greener of course, but I really would've rather my dad just left once and stayed gone for my whole life. Instead, I had a fun and loving father during the day, but then every single night for 18 years, I watched him leave to score drugs instead of being at home with his family, just to come back and terrorize my mother when he thought I was asleep. </i> 

And because of all that, these are my current issues:

• Parentification trauma
• Anxiety attachment issues that I've overcorrected into a disorganized detachment
• Terrible low self-esteem that leads to:
  • Chasing the wrong type of romantic partner over and over (the unavailable kind)
  • (I actually stopped dating 5 years ago to stop the hurt but I don't want to be lonely/celibate forever, except I won't date again because I fear I will return to the same ole patterns where I pick people that will never pick me for various reasons.
• Never fighting for myself; never finishing projects, never working on my personal and professional ambitions, never working on my health/body image issues, I think because I learned as a child to never relish anything good that happens to me, because it'll all go away the next day.)

I've come to be quite comfortable in my familiar discomfort, and, big surprise: I'm miserable. 

I know this about myself, and want to change, and yet I can't go more than 2 days without sabotaging any effort I make to disrupt this cycle. 

Any books I can try to therapy myself out of this? 

Thank you and just for the record:

I know a book or two can never replace a therapist. I love my previous therapist and miss her every day. But, I am barely able to afford groceries. I certainly can't go back to therapy right now. 

(There is sliding scale therapy in my area, but that's the problem: the therapists start out as trainees and then graduate and then I can't afford them when they go to practices.)

I want to apply to graduate school to become a therapist. I have been thinking about this for 3 years and Im in the field already. I have experience, a high undergrad gpa, reccomendators in mind. However, I am so irrationally anxious about it all. Like I am afraid to ask for recommendations because I fear being judged for changing my mind a lot, being rejected, being ignored. And I have this fear that im going to do all this work and then regret my decisions once I actually become a therapist. The applications are due in 3 months, but Im too anxious to even start. I told two therapists that I am looking for exposure and to sit with uncertainty in this is what happened:

First ERP therapist told me that my anxiety is normal and I should maybe consider other options (which I have for years)

I decided to take initiative and write down an exposure script about everything I am anxious about. When I showed my script to another ERP therapist, she told me that OCD is a liar. She said that there was many outcome and asked me what the opposite of thr script would be. Then, she had me go through the evidence as to why my fears aren't true (like one of my fears is that one of my reccomendators is going to judge me because I didn't respond to him because of ocd intrusive thoughts, but he has supported me professionally non-judgementally for years). She said something about anxiety/ocd being a self fulfilling prophecy (?). She never asked me what the intrusive thought I had about him. She said that people become anxious when things are big, uncertain and matter to them. I told her i feel like im going to get get judged for changing my mind a lot and she said that people change their minds about their career all the time. She said that that he seems like he wants to talk to me (because he gave me his number, encouraged me, responded, etc).

She even reassured me that it seems like I will get in (reassuring me is the opposite of ERP, and getting accepted isn't my fear, im actually pretty confident about it.. but im not confident about starting the application or asking for recommendations). She asked me if Ive done things uncomfortable things before and asked me how it went.. She also asked me how i'd feel after i submit it.. She also started to ask me more about practical things, like when do I want them to finish their recommendations.. (which i am capable of figuring out myself). She didn't encourage me to keep doing the script exposure.. She then said my exposure is to write an email to the reccomendator and send it by next week..

I feel like none of this was helpful. I already know my mind is irrational and my fears are unlikely. And yet Im still stuck, ive been stuck on this for over a year.

I wish she engaged with my script more. Asked me to read it repeatedly and how it felt. Helped me identify compulsions beyond avoidance. Told me to write an imperfect draft without doing compulsions as an exposure.

Im seeing therapy for PTSD. After w couple months working with her, she mentioned she was starting to use AI assistance to summarize sessions. And she asked my permission to use it.

I was uncomfortable with the idea and refuse, which she of course accepted. But she did mention I was the only patient fk hers to refuse consent. And on another session she framed it as me being negative or pessimistic, as a manifestation of my hyper vigilance. I pushed back and we did talk about it.

I’m not so much interested here in my therapist attitude or anything like that but in the general idea of allowing AI to summarize sessions.

As I said, I refused it and I do have my reasoning - including the fact that once something is recording me, I feel
I can’t open up properly, and also what ai thinks it understands of my words are not my words - and I don’t trust a robot with that interpretation. And then there’s privacy and data protection and technical and legal
Issues that I’m not even going into.

My question to all of you is: what do you think of your therapist using so tomrrecord and summarize your sessions?

I've done a lot of therapy. I can explain my patterns, my triggers, where it all comes from, I could probably teach a class on my own psychology at this point. But understanding it hasn't translated into actually feeling different or acting different.

For those who've been here too: once "knowing why" stopped being enough, what actually moved the needle for you? Not looking for theory, just curious what genuinely worked, even if it felt random or unrelated to therapy.

Basically, I opened up about my dating experiences.

I will not lie, I did find the height differences attractive and interesting.

I have found the rare woman taller than me interesting as well.

In general, I would say big height differences, for lack of beating around, hot.

This also includes very short women, some medically noted as having dwarfism.

Tiktok accused me of being a groomer due to this.

I am very concerned about this physical attraction hscinf a darker meaning.

I have done a lot of work in therapy myself already for many years, including CBT, EMDR, dorsal vagal nervous system responses. And crisis counselling too. So I do have a fair idea and know how things like my anxious attachment works, but never when I am experiencing the attachment to this sort of toxic cycle. I am hoping for some insights as to what has been useful to others.

The emotional abuse had me conditioned into silence, protecting them, so I never told anyone what was going on. I carried on for two years so I’m hoping the damage is not deeply rooted. But I have been living in a constant state of fear and bottling my emotions because crying was not taken very well in these circumstances. It seems to have resulted in deep rooted fears, physically manifesting themselves in my kidneys, bladder and my lower back.

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated

What kind of therapy would I need if I’ve spent my life trying to get a career in software development, found that to be impossible, and now looking for a reason not to blow my shit smooth off?

Every other therapist I’ve gone to has either spent way too long bewildered by the fact that companies don’t want to hire people in 2026 or sidestep the problem entirely. I’ve expressed enough SI to make the issue known without it warranting a psych hold, why are we talking about me forming relationships with people?

Is this something therapy can even handle?

Today, I had my first 15 min introductory call with a therapist. I’m not sure if I’m doing anything correctly, I feel like there is so much to me and to how I’ve been thinking my whole life to be translated to what I say at this point of my life. I feel like they would never understand the pain I put myself through, they might just look at recent events and find they are trivial in comparison to what other people went through. I also feel stupid talking about what I went through, like I’m not supposed to complain about those things. And it’s so much work to try to make people understand you. I don’t know what there is that they can do to help me change, a fundamental change of how I think, and how I am as a person. Has anyone been through the same, does therapy actually help, or is it people who reassure us and tell us everything will be alright and that there is nothing to be worried about and call it a day.

Hey everyone,
I’m 21M, and over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been going through one of the most emotionally overwhelming periods of my life.
Before this started, I was doing relatively well. I’m a freelance video editor working with international clients, building my career, making money, enjoying music, and generally feeling motivated about my future.
I had personal problems, but I could manage them without constantly thinking about them.
Then several things happened almost simultaneously.
I became physically sick and fainted one night. Around the same time, a serious family situation caused my father to break down crying in front of me. Seeing him like that affected me deeply.
Since that night, my anxiety has become intense.
Here are the main things I’m struggling with:
1. Guilt about my parents
My parents have worked incredibly hard throughout their lives. My father is emotionally overwhelmed, and my mother is overworked.
I constantly feel guilty that I haven’t done enough for them. Even when I’m trying to work, I start thinking about their suffering and whether my ambitions are worth pursuing.
I previously wanted to move abroad, but now the thought of living away from them makes me anxious.
I also feel guilty seeing them take care of household responsibilities when I feel I should be contributing more.
2. Relationship uncertainty and attachment
I’m deeply emotionally attached to someone who is already married. We care about each other, but I understand that a romantic future together isn’t realistic under the current circumstances.
We’re trying to figure out whether we can eventually become genuinely platonic friends and possibly work together.
I keep worrying about losing that connection, whether she’ll be happy without me, and whether I’ll ever fall in love with someone else.
My family also expects me to get married next year through an arranged-marriage process, which adds pressure. I’m terrified of entering a marriage while emotionally attached to someone else and hurting an innocent person.
3. Insecurity about my best friend
Another thing that’s been bothering me is my relationship with my best friend.
I’ve started feeling like he might be jealous of me because I’m earning more money than him.
I also keep worrying that he secretly thinks I’m a bad person, finds me annoying, or doesn’t really enjoy spending time with me anymore.
He’s been making different friends and hanging out with them, and instead of seeing that as a normal part of life, my mind starts interpreting it as him replacing me or not wanting me around.
I don’t know whether these feelings reflect something actually happening in our friendship or whether my anxiety is making me assume the worst.
I haven’t necessarily received clear confirmation that he feels this way, but the thoughts keep bothering me.
It feels like I’m becoming afraid of losing everyone I’m emotionally close to.
4. Constant overthinking
My brain keeps creating hypothetical futures.
What if my parents die before I can give them the life they deserve? What if I marry someone and never feel genuinely happy? What if I lose contact with someone I deeply care about? What if my best friend secretly dislikes me?
I also keep worrying about what other people think of me and whether I’m unintentionally hurting or disappointing them.
I understand intellectually that I cannot control these things, but emotionally I struggle to stop thinking about them.
5. Losing interest in things I previously enjoyed
This is what concerns me most.
I used to love working, listening to music, improving my skills, and making progress toward my goals.
Now, even watching funny YouTube videos doesn’t feel enjoyable. Sometimes my goals seem pointless.
I’ve also experienced difficulty sleeping, reduced appetite, and trouble concentrating.
Occasionally, music or work helps me feel like myself again, but the worries return.
6. Feeling responsible for everyone
I feel responsible for my parents’ happiness, the emotional wellbeing of the person I love, my friendships, and even the happiness of a future spouse I haven’t met.
I know logically that I can’t make everybody happy, but I still feel guilty when someone I care about is suffering or seems distant.
It’s almost like my mind constantly scans my relationships for signs that something is wrong.
I’ve started reconnecting with my spiritual practices, and I’m considering therapy.
I’m not currently suicidal. I’m primarily struggling with anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and a loss of enjoyment.
My questions are:
Has anyone experienced a sudden period of anxiety and loss of motivation after several stressful events?
How did you stop feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness?
How did you stop assuming your friends secretly disliked you or were replacing you?
How did you learn to distinguish genuine relationship problems from anxious assumptions?
How did you regain enjoyment in your career, hobbies, and everyday life?
If you’ve dealt with complicated romantic attachment, how did you learn to care about someone without depending on them emotionally?
What helped you most therapy, lifestyle changes, books, or something else?
I don’t expect Reddit to solve my life. I’d just appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar and found their way back to feeling like themselves.
Thank you for reading.