I have touched on this in here before, but I desperately need some reassurance.

My boyfriend (51M) and I (37F) have decided to break up after 4.5 years due to no longer being compatible. We live in a home that he owns, but for all intents and purposes has been my home for a couple of years where I have contributed half of bills. I love this house. We have a dog who we both adore.

I am leaving to go and live with my mum in a much less desirable home without the luxuries I have here, back into my teenage box room. I am heartbroken at the loss of my relationship, my dog (it’s better for him that he stays in a familiar environment, I can’t have him at my mum’s), daily routines, area I live in, the house etc.

I couldn’t see a future in my relationship partly because of the age gap becoming more apparent, but I definitely can’t see any kind of future now. I feel like my life is over at 37 and I’m cycling through grief, and I haven’t even moved out yet. I have a WFH job with a lot of progression opportunity and can now save (I only have £700 savings currently) which is the only silver lining I can see.

I feel a lot of darkness and utterly overwhelmed right now and have never navigated a break up before. I need help.

Let me start by saying my partner (M37) and I (F32) both informed each other on our very first date last year that both of us were investing in homes in different parts of the world. He had informed me that he would be buying a house this year to live in the West of the United States for work and I informed him that I had already spent the past few months building a house abroad. With that knowledge, we continued to date and just decided we’d get to that bridge when we crossed it.

Well, a year and some change has passed and he has his house now and my house abroad is finished and I plan to go there in the next few weeks. The original plan when I first built it was to live there myself, but now that I’m in a relationship with someone who is based in the US, I’m considering only living in it part time while I continue to work remotely.

He has no interest in leaving the US. As a son of immigrants, coming to the US was a huge upgrade for him and I understand (based on what his family had to face back home in their native country) why he wouldn’t want to leave.

But as someone who is from here, I see where the US falls short, and I simply want to have a better life for myself and the future family I will have. And living abroad paints that picture for me.

So now I’m conflicted. I love him to death but my desire to be free and live the life I want is stronger than my desire to stay in a relationship. Yet, at the same time, I’m also tired of going fron relationship to relationship. I’ve been doing it my whole life. Getting involved with one guy, and breaking up either because I moved away or just lost interest. I’m too old to continue living my life the way I used to. I want to stay committed to someone for longer than 2 years for once. But my desire to live where I want without any limitations is too strong…

Could really use some guidance from women older than me who have been in a similar situation.

I was listening to Good Hang with Amy Poehler, and Paul McCartney got emotional talking about his late wife. Not knowing anything about them or her, I looked it up. She passed when she was 56, in the 90s. He’s been married twice since, and is currently married and has been married to his 3rd wife for 15 years. Of course humans are complex, grief is complex, love is as well. But it just broke my heart. It made me wonder if he‘s ever been able to find “it” again, and if marriages since are more out of a need for companionship.

Similarly, what about couples who break up not due to infidelity, or something damaging, but just couldn‘t agree on something they wanted like kids, or where to live—there was no reason to hate each other, they were just incompatible in their wants for life. But there was nothing to break trust, or make them see each other negatively.

Curious to hear your experiences with this. I want to believe it’s possible to find love again after something like that, but if you’ve been through something similar, have you truly been able to start over and give your all to someone else? Or are you always still holding on to what you had in some way?

My husband (41M) and I (37F) have been married for 6 years and together for 10. He’s a gentle man, kind and wonderful. We were both late bloomers and each other’s first real loves.

When we met, he was working a retail job with “Ava” who was about 22 at the time. They developed a friendship and I was always a little insecure by the age difference and the fact he has mostly female friends and I don’t have a lot of guy friends.

Over the years, this woman has showed she’s a very chaotic, immature person with dodgy life details, such as moving around a lot, getting evicted, sued, green-card marrying her UK BF, etc. All was fine till we fell on hard times with a baby on the way and my husband needed to work. Ava offered him a job at her “marketing firm” which happily accepted, no questions asked.

Except….there was no job. No marketing firm. They had Google calls to “brainstorm” cool ideas for clients like Disney and Poppi soda. She promised him paychecks after paychecks and never ever paid a penny.

It causes such friction between us as a couple: he refused to see he was getting lied to and scammed tor MONTHS. He kept falling for her “next week!” promises over and over again.

Finally after crying, pleading, threatening and being super pregnant he saw the light and “gave up” on this job idea. BUT STILL MAINTAINS A FRIENDSHIP WITH HER.

Whenever I see her name on his phone it enrages me and I want to tell him he cannot speak to her anymore. Where is his self respect?! But he’s a grown ass man and I don’t want to be that wife.

I have told him that I do not appreciate he is friends with her and she is not welcome to be part of our family’s life in any way (can never visit, get a Christmas card, etc) and he says he understands and is working through his own “complicated feelings” about their friendship.

WHAT DO I DO?

I desperately need some outside perspectives to help with deciding if my fiancés anger issues have crossed a line and it’s time to end the relationship.

We have been together for nearly 9 years and for the majority of that time, he hasn’t had any anger issues. However, in the last few years he had a business fail which left him with a lot of debt and forced him to take a stressful job he doesn’t like. During this time, he started having outbursts over the simplest things. Dropping a fork, predictable traffic, computer issues. Anything that requires a smidgen of patience. The outbursts are never physical, I genuinely believe he isn’t capable of causing me harm, but it’s verbal and aggressive. Minimum of 10mins of pacing, swearing, yelling and loosing his shit. It’s honestly embarrassing when the neighbours hear and stressful to be in the house with.

I gave him a lot of grace for… way too long… And last spring for the first time he directed that anger toward me. For three whole damn months I was patient and tried to help him see that he was dealing with depression and needed to see a doctor, while he got angry at me for noticing that he was struggling. It was like a switch had flipped and he was no longer the kind and thoughtful person I fell for.

The good news is that we finally came out the other side of that angry period and we now believe that he was dealing with seasonal depression. He is seeing a doctor currently. He recognizes that he has anger issues and has made me feel unsafe in the relationship, and he’s taking actual steps to do better. The last few months he is still having the odd outburst, but he is now able to stop, reflect, apologize, and identify what’s making him upset. His biggest revelation was “my body just wants to be angry, I’m not actually angry at you for anything” 🙄.

But… even after everything he’s doing to grow… I’m really not sure if it’s enough for me. I’m having a hard time learning to trust him again. Just today he had an outburst while we were in the backyard, and the whole damn neighbourhood could hear him screaming, it was so embarrassing. He recovered quickly and apologized, but he also admitted that he doesn’t think it’s a problem to loose your cool once in a while. Apparently he thinks the only alternative is bottling your emotions, so it’s ’healthy’ to let them out sometimes. I think we just have fundamentally different ideals, and this might be a deal breaker. It certainly would be if this were a new relationship.

I keep being advised by people older than me that this is just part of being in a long term relationship. Sometimes you go through bad spells and it’s your job to be in their corner no matter what. But is this just bad advice that will lead me to being abused? On the other hand, some people say to leave the second there is any anger at all, but what about in this case where he has a track record of 5 years anger free before he started going through a difficult time? Where is the line? At what point does standing by them become abandoning yourself?

I’m almost 32, married for 7 years together with my husband for almost 10 years. I don’t know what it is but I feel this sense of void or hopelessness. I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I regret not having spent my 20s really just enjoying myself, dating several men, travelling more, etc.

On paper it sounds like everything is great, marriage, 2 children, great career and house, but there’s this nagging feeling of emptiness. Like I wish I waited a bit longer before doing all of this. As if I should have spent more time building just me.

I don’t know if it’s also being the eldest daughter of immigrant parents I had to grow up so fast. I have very few friends and slowly drifting apart and communicating via text or social media and only meeting up once or twice a year.

I look forward to finding myself more in my 30s but I just feel like a caricature of myself.

This happened when we were 20 so immaturity likely plays a part.

A relationship I was in ended, and I was very upset. 

So my friend took it upon herself to (without my consent) make a group chat with her, me and my ex to I think “talk things out”. This led to my ex blocking us both. 

But yeah. I get that she had good intentions but I did NOT appreciate her doing that lol. And I told her not to, but she did anyway. 

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced a friend getting involved in your situation when you didn’t want them to, especially pertaining to a breakup? If so, how did you handle it?

It took a divorce and a move across the state for me to finally book something. I've always been the friend everyone else talks to, so this feels very backwards.

For anyone who started therapy in their 30s or later: what do you wish someone had told you before your first few sessions? Practical stuff, emotional stuff, anything.

I’m not entirely sure what my question is here. Mostly, has anyone else experienced something similar? Is there something I’m not seeing? I (30f) have been seeing this guy (30m) for 4 months, and sometimes he loses his erection out of nowhere. He says it has nothing to do with me and just happens. We waited a while to have sex, his choice, and when we finally did, it was great (he finished multiple times). Since then, he has lost his erection randomly a few more times, but I believe him when he says it just happens.

Today, he was going to stop by my house to help me fix something on his way home from work. I told him I had just gotten out of the shower and missed him (we had both been traveling for a bit and I was on my period the week before), so it had been a few weeks since we had been intimate. His responses were seemingly VERY excited and he was like don’t move I’m almost there 😍! I was waiting naked in bed for him when he arrived. We made out for maybe 15 seconds before he was like alright, should we fix this thing? And then he left.

I didn’t realize he only had about 30 minutes until the end when he said he had to go, so maybe in his mind he was just really rushed. But it still left me confused. At the end I said “Sorry I ambushed you with my naked body in bed” in a kind of joking but not joking way in case I genuinely made him feel uncomfortable. He hugged me immediately and said not to be sorry and that he enjoys being with me in those scenarios even when sex isn’t the intention, like we were the week prior when I was on my period. I said “sex was the intention, if you wanted it”. He didn’t say anything, he just hugged me and we said goodbye.

Yes, sometimes I do question his sexuality based on some of his mannerisms. But we have talked about it casually and he says has never been interested in men. I’m not going to lie and say sometimes that’s not in the back of my mind. He also has way more sexual experience and number of partners than I do, so I do not believe it is a lack of experience insecurity. He is always, always telling me how beautiful I am, and I am confident in my body and I do feel beautiful.

I’m just a little confused and trying not feel hurt and rejected. I’ve had 4 sexual partners previous to him, all long term relationships, and I’ve never experienced this before. Maybe I’m just not used to dating a guy whose first priority isn’t sex all the time?

To women who had planned to have 1 child only but had an unplanned and unexpected pregnancies, what had you decided to kept it or terminate? I already have 1 child and my husband had a vasectomy today, but 3 days before the schedule we learned that we’re pregnant. Maybe 5 weeks, we’re undecided of the better decision to make. Can you share your stories please 😔

Where did you purchase your favorite, high quality blanket scarf? Prepping for the winter months!

I’m 34, married with a toddler, and a senior director at a major entertainment company. I’ve spent years building a successful career, make good money ($160K base plus bonus), and have a position that I know a younger version of myself would have been thrilled to reach.

But I’m increasingly wondering whether I’ve spent years climbing the wrong ladder…

My job is demanding, heavily client-facing, and comes with constant pressure, meetings, travel, and responsibility. I’ve been burned out for a long time, but things came to a head this year as I’ve been dealing with a chronic inflammatory disease. I’m currently on medical leave because my pain and fatigue have made it extremely difficult to sustain the demands of my role.

Being away from work has been eye-opening. Even though I’m still dealing with significant health issues, I’ve realized how much of my mental and emotional bandwidth my job was consuming. I’m spending more time with my family, reconnecting with interests I’d neglected, and remembering that I’m actually a pretty intellectually curious, creative person.

I don’t think I want to stop working forever. I have a master’s degree, love research, writing, analysis, and developing ideas, and genuinely want an intellectually fulfilling professional life. But I don’t think I want to return to the constant client management, pressure, and corporate ladder-climbing that have defined my career.

Financially, my husband earns a good income, so we have some flexibility, although walking away from my salary would still be a substantial decision that requires planning. We live in a VHCOL city/neighborhood.

I’m torn between returning to my current job, finding something less demanding in my industry, or taking a real break to recover and figure out what I actually want to do next.

For women who have been in a similar position:

- Did you ever walk away from a successful career that no longer felt right?
- Did taking a break help you find clarity, or did you regret losing career momentum?
- If you took a step back professionally, were you able to find meaningful work again?
- How did you distinguish burnout from genuinely wanting a different life?

I’d particularly love to hear from women who made these decisions in their 30s, especially after having children or experiencing health challenges.

I did include a collage of my style pre pregnancy vs now and the state of my belly

I had my first child at 27, I will be 28 soon and I have a saggy belly. I went from 115lbs to 164lbs and currently am sitting st 140lbs 5’1”. I have Diastasis recti where the top of my abdomen is more open so my gut just hangs and bloats 24/7. I’m in physical therapy for it, so far 2 months and I notice no difference and I’m kinda tired of going.

With that being said I’m extremely insecure of my pregnant looking belly a year postpartum. I wear baggy t shirts and gym shorts, I don’t shave my legs anymore, my self esteem has taken a massive blow. My son’s father left, so I have nobody I need to impress. I don’t know where to start to put effort in for myself.

My aesthetic preferences are gothic/y2k/pre 2000s skater grunge. I generally wear black. I used to wear high waisted skinny jeans but my belly bubbles up and over the waistband. I wear jogger cargo pants if I can find them in my size. Even when I suck in my stomach I have an apron belly. I really would like to look nice but I’m low on funds, and I generally am getting to the point I’ll probably end up wearing leggings, baggy shirts and flannels like my mom which is scary to think about. I just look disheveled like I live out of a laundry basket or smell clothes I pick off the floor. Its embarrassing how I dress

For example, I feel like there are pretty big differences between early 20s vs late 20s in terms of mindset, goals, dating, financially, even physically/appearance-wise. Do such differences also exist when comparing early vs late 30s?

A lighter question than the title suggests! I'm 39 child free by choice out of a loooooong college sweethearts relationship that basically was a marriage without being formalised. I am having a wild time learning how to be alone, relishing my freedom, and figuring my stuff out.

Has anyone else had this feeling of WHO EVEN AM I in this scenario? I feel like each day I wake up and I'm like ok who am I today. It's like shape shifting and I'm wondering which one is my final form?! Some days I'm just a gym bro with zero other interests, other days I'm like NO I want to be chic woman in cocktail bar tonight. Theres also rave barbie, wants to be a CEO Barbie, couch vegetable, and many more. Wondering if this is normal or just m... ADHD 😂

Tell me your stories, and how many stages of transformation you went through 🙏🏼

EDIT off the back of some earlier comments: This is not about feeling I have to "conform" or limit myself, more interested to hear how others have experienced this including any wackier, unexpected selves that emerged along the way. Also not about values, those are locked in.

When male friends or acquaintances say things like “you’re a babe” how do you usually respond? I’m married, so my close male friends wouldn’t dare, or if they did compliment me, it’s a purely innocent comment (more like: you look nice! or, like the hair cut, dress, shoes, etc.) When it’s someone I’m not close to (it’s obv they’re being flirty), I’m never sure what the appropriate response is, so I ignore it. My gut instinct is like, c’mon, why say that? They know I’m married. They’ll often like photos of me and my husband together on socials or literally ask me how he’s doing. Do you just say thank you and move on, joke about it, tell ‘em that’s not cool, or what? Also, I hate to invoke my husband. That’s so patriarchal IMO, like I’m allowed to be uninterested in someone's advance in my own right, regardless of my relationship status.

I am in a period of growth after a divorce and I am healing, rebuilding my life, and cutting out negative influences. I have chosen to be celibate and single for a year.

I am really lonely, but it is an expected and acceptable part of this season in my life so I dont have distractions in order to reach the goals I want. Solitude is better for my self-growth and goals right now. But I have a difficult time with loneliness tolerance.

My question: How do you deal with loneliness when it occurs in your life? ​Do you distract yourself, lean into it, exercise, etc? Tell me your strategies to tolerate loneliness when it inevitably comes and cant be fixed. ​

Thank you :)

I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 years now, married 3 years, and I’ve just never been able to fit in with his friend’s partners.

He has a really big friendship group, and some of it is that the girlfriend’s have had long established friendships that can feel a bit cliquey. But then some of it is just me feeling like I don’t fit in, we all don’t catch up much but when we do it’s very much big parties with drugs and alcohol and I’m just not much of a partier. So I think that has created some distance too.

They’re all nice enough, but I just haven’t been able to get to know any of them more closely. I try and remind myself I have my people and that’s enough, but it’s hard sometimes in a social setting to not feel like a bit of the weird girl that doesn’t fit in like in high school. Sometimes I try and make more of an effort but I just feel awkward and left out a lot of the time.

Most recently I found out that I didn’t get an invite to a bachelorette party of one of the girl’s I felt like I was the closest with but a lot of the other girls in the group did. So even the closest relationship I thought I had really must not be much.

Is this something others can relate to? Any advice? Or even just words that could make me feel like I’m not alone.

I’m turning 33 and I have never really dressed up as an adult for Halloween. My bday is the day before Halloween and I have a 13 year old daughter so it’s always been about her and close to my bday. I really want to wear a costume for Halloween and am going to a Halloween party. I just bought a $400 costume and accessories and feel kind of guilty because I know it’s a lot of money but I can afford it and just want to wear a costume and have some fun. Is this weird!?

Hey y'all, wondering if I I should give someone a second chance at dating.

Back in February I (35F) went on a first date with this guy, I'll call him J (35M). The date was pretty good, super buzzy, lots of chemistry, but both of us were not super emotionally available (he recently had ended a LT relationship and I was dealing with a recent breakup and a very sick dad).

We kept talking after the date for the next few days, but then my dad's condition suddenly worsened. I went on a leave from work and flew home to be with my family.

My dad passed a couple months later.

J kept checking in sporadically for a month or two after we had that date, which I was very touched by. He even wanted to pick me up and drive me home when I came back to our town for a weekend trip shortly before my dad passed.

I tentatively made plans for a second date with him around that time, but had to cancel as my dad ended up passing away. I told him this and he said he was sorry and to let him know if I needed to talk.

I thanked him but didn't reach out further as I was (obviously) dealing with very heavy grief. so 6 months went by of total silence.

J reached out again recently (over 6 months later) to say he was thinking of me. He then mentioned he had entered a relationship over the summer and it just ended. The message seemed more about his own life and things going on, he eventually tacked on a "and how are you?" onto the end of the message.

He has been persistently asking me out on a second date the last week or so even though I haven't really been replying.

I know that we barely knew each other and he wasn't expected to be there for me as we only had one date, but the 6 months of just, absolutely nothing and then swinging back around later after his summer fling ended just..I don't know. It seems a bit selfish on his part maybe. I don't think he's been through any major losses yet, so maybe just doesn't get how it looks.

I told him this and he sent a voice note apologizing, but also pointing out we barely knew each other and he felt a bit awkward and thought I wasn't in the right headspace to be dating at the time (which is true). He claimed he isn't using me for comfort after his relationship ended and said he still wants the date and is trying to find "the one". I didn't expect constant attention or caretaking, but I just have this feeling that "the one" for me wouldn't have gone completely ghost?

I still have grief brain and am not sure if maybe I'm being too sensitive. I'm not really feeling ready to date yet anyway, but starting to think more about it as it's been 6+ months now since my dad passed.

What would you do in this instance? Give the man another chance or no?

TLDR: went on one date w a guy, then my dad suddenly passed away, guy knew and didn't reach out for 6 months, dated someone else in the meantime, and recently came back and wants a second date.

UPDATE: thank you all for the thoughtful responses. Consensus seems to be that one more date won’t kill me.

My MIL is old and not tech savvy and lives abroad. Shes nearing 80 so she gets a pass. She wants to attend a family wedding but it requires 3 separate flights. She insists she can do them and will travel with a hand luggage only. Cool. I book the flights but 2 flights require an online verification with passport scanning and then checking in via the app again scanning the passport. Ryanair insists you gotta do everything yourself digitally on the app or they'll charge you extra for wanting to check in in person.

Mother in law has a daughter and a 24 year old granddaughter. I communicate the following instructions:

Use this online link for verification. It must be this link here.

Then the booking will show up on the app.

Do the online check in on the app.

The daughter instead of communicating directly to me messages her aunty and says cant she just collect her boarding pass when she lands??

I say No. It has to be done now. Please. She is travelling alone. I want all her boarding passes ready.

Oh but the link isnt working. It says wrong email.

I say You need to use this verification link. Ive checked it. It works.

Okay she manages one boarding pass. Im thinking the second should be easy.

Oh the link isnt working.

I say please use the verification link that I specified. Youre not supposed to add the booking in the app until its verified. Please the second flight is crucial as the layover is 2 hours.

Oh but its not working. Now it says the email is incorrect.

I say i promise you the link works. I tested it. I just cant do the scanning of MIL passport.

Oh well i wasnt able to do it because she had to leave for her first flight. So hopefully it works out.

Its infuriating. My husband tries to say oh shes very easy going and sometimes doesnt take things seriously enough. No she is incompetent and cant follow instructions. I'm so confused. I could not have made the instructions any more clearer or urgent. Why are you so incompetent???

I am a professional woman, unsupported single mum for years after being divorced, too busy or cautious for dating even after children have left home. Some of my acquaintances are men, often married, who seem to enjoy my social or professional company. Fine by me - I give no indication of any romantic interest at all, but I often feel quietly insulted by their awkwardness.... these are the worst examples:

Man comes to an informal meeting, but brings some random nobody along with him - obviously a 'chaperone' whose presence is supposed to protect his virtue - and usually someone I have no interest in meeting. It comes over as rather pathetic.

Has to ring wife during meeting - why? Self-consciously mentions wife several times out of context - why? I would only be interested in her if I happened to know and like her, otherwise she is a stranger to me.

These actions carry the assumptions that I might be harbouring improper feelings or intentions towards the man - which in itself proclaims just how vain and silly some of these chaps can be - they should be so lucky!

Do any other ladies find this kind of behaviour insulting?

Hi ladies,

Just wondering if anyone has gone through this or has any experiences or advice. My 2026 goal was to build friendships. I'm married and have been with my partner for 9 years now. We spend a lot of time together and that was the bulk of my social interactions. We each have 2-3 friends nearby. We were probably averaging like 1-2 social events a month.

I've been relatively successful this year. I joined a biking group, an outdoors group, and even tried RealRoots. I've met a few women on BumbleBFF. Then through some of these people, I've met others. I'd say I've been regularly hanging out with ~5 people consistently. And I'm still trying to maintain my old friendships.

Through these groups/new friendships I've been to multiple concerts, gone camping, seen comedy shows, been hiking, etc etc. All to say - I've been pretty "successful." However, recently I've been feeling a weird sense of loneliness.

My partner is doing something similar so we're both pretty busy these days and we now have 1-2 evenings just to ourselves. I find myself feeling a bit impatient that things don't feel comfortable yet with a lot of these people...or that I'll leave a social situation feeling like something was lacking. Idk!

Is this a normal transition phase as you get to know people? I've never tried so hard to make friends. Like many others, they've always come from school, sports, and work.

I was watching a GRWM TikTok the other day, and the woman casually sprayed 15+ pumps of perfume (it could've been more but the clip cut off before she finished).

I was shocked – I don't wear fragrance often, but when I do, I usually do 1-2 pumps and then still worry that I reek and am giving everyone a migraine.

So now I'm wondering what's appropriate. Obviously it's going to be different depending on the fragrance, dispenser, person, occasion, etc., but as a rough ballpark.

If you use fragrance, how much do you use? For example, for brunch with friends, or going out in the evening?

Edit: Okay it looks like I'm not crazy for thinking 15+ sprays is a lot!

Edit: I just looked more closely and it was Jackie Aina using her own perfume brand, which explains a lot. But even so, she still went to an event with that much perfume on.