I came across this quote on IG and it made me stop and think. I think it's true indeed, sometimes people go to therapy to deal with those people who won't go to therapy and don't want to work on themselves. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much truth there is in that.

Hey everyone,
I’m 21M, and over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been going through one of the most emotionally overwhelming periods of my life.
Before this started, I was doing relatively well. I’m a freelance video editor working with international clients, building my career, making money, enjoying music, and generally feeling motivated about my future.
I had personal problems, but I could manage them without constantly thinking about them.
Then several things happened almost simultaneously.
I became physically sick and fainted one night. Around the same time, a serious family situation caused my father to break down crying in front of me. Seeing him like that affected me deeply.
Since that night, my anxiety has become intense.
Here are the main things I’m struggling with:
1. Guilt about my parents
My parents have worked incredibly hard throughout their lives. My father is emotionally overwhelmed, and my mother is overworked.
I constantly feel guilty that I haven’t done enough for them. Even when I’m trying to work, I start thinking about their suffering and whether my ambitions are worth pursuing.
I previously wanted to move abroad, but now the thought of living away from them makes me anxious.
I also feel guilty seeing them take care of household responsibilities when I feel I should be contributing more.
2. Relationship uncertainty and attachment
I’m deeply emotionally attached to someone who is already married. We care about each other, but I understand that a romantic future together isn’t realistic under the current circumstances.
We’re trying to figure out whether we can eventually become genuinely platonic friends and possibly work together.
I keep worrying about losing that connection, whether she’ll be happy without me, and whether I’ll ever fall in love with someone else.
My family also expects me to get married next year through an arranged-marriage process, which adds pressure. I’m terrified of entering a marriage while emotionally attached to someone else and hurting an innocent person.
3. Insecurity about my best friend
Another thing that’s been bothering me is my relationship with my best friend.
I’ve started feeling like he might be jealous of me because I’m earning more money than him.
I also keep worrying that he secretly thinks I’m a bad person, finds me annoying, or doesn’t really enjoy spending time with me anymore.
He’s been making different friends and hanging out with them, and instead of seeing that as a normal part of life, my mind starts interpreting it as him replacing me or not wanting me around.
I don’t know whether these feelings reflect something actually happening in our friendship or whether my anxiety is making me assume the worst.
I haven’t necessarily received clear confirmation that he feels this way, but the thoughts keep bothering me.
It feels like I’m becoming afraid of losing everyone I’m emotionally close to.
4. Constant overthinking
My brain keeps creating hypothetical futures.
What if my parents die before I can give them the life they deserve? What if I marry someone and never feel genuinely happy? What if I lose contact with someone I deeply care about? What if my best friend secretly dislikes me?
I also keep worrying about what other people think of me and whether I’m unintentionally hurting or disappointing them.
I understand intellectually that I cannot control these things, but emotionally I struggle to stop thinking about them.
5. Losing interest in things I previously enjoyed
This is what concerns me most.
I used to love working, listening to music, improving my skills, and making progress toward my goals.
Now, even watching funny YouTube videos doesn’t feel enjoyable. Sometimes my goals seem pointless.
I’ve also experienced difficulty sleeping, reduced appetite, and trouble concentrating.
Occasionally, music or work helps me feel like myself again, but the worries return.
6. Feeling responsible for everyone
I feel responsible for my parents’ happiness, the emotional wellbeing of the person I love, my friendships, and even the happiness of a future spouse I haven’t met.
I know logically that I can’t make everybody happy, but I still feel guilty when someone I care about is suffering or seems distant.
It’s almost like my mind constantly scans my relationships for signs that something is wrong.
I’ve started reconnecting with my spiritual practices, and I’m considering therapy.
I’m not currently suicidal. I’m primarily struggling with anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and a loss of enjoyment.
My questions are:
Has anyone experienced a sudden period of anxiety and loss of motivation after several stressful events?
How did you stop feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness?
How did you stop assuming your friends secretly disliked you or were replacing you?
How did you learn to distinguish genuine relationship problems from anxious assumptions?
How did you regain enjoyment in your career, hobbies, and everyday life?
If you’ve dealt with complicated romantic attachment, how did you learn to care about someone without depending on them emotionally?
What helped you most therapy, lifestyle changes, books, or something else?
I don’t expect Reddit to solve my life. I’d just appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar and found their way back to feeling like themselves.
Thank you for reading.

I went to a walk in clinic this morning, I went to the wrong place and ended up with a male doctor which I normally would never do. But I was already there so I just stayed. Throughout the appointment he was making jokes a lot that were fine at first but as it went on I felt more and more uncomfortable. For example, he asked if I wanted anything to drink and then offered wine and laughed. Not that crazy but weird. He mentioned multiple times that I should be a model and referred to my looks. He said “I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable” more than once which made me think someone’s complained before? But I know I can be hypersensitive to things like this and I can’t tell if these were harmless jokes/comments or if it was genuinely weird. The last thing he said which is what really made me uncomfortable was when I was leaving he said not to drink (alcohol) and I said I won’t and he said “I’ll have to spank you” which is definitely weird. I’m supposed to go back in a few days to get my bloodwork results but I know I can’t go back which upset me even more. I don’t know I feel so weird about it.

TLDR: My therapist used an accusatory tone with last session/ told me to invite positive compulsive thoughts for OCD/uses religion/ and is too expensive

I have had multiple therapy sessions with a general psychotherapist which went well most of the time. She often uses religion in her input which didn’t bother me at first since I also practiced Christian faith.

However, recently, she had started using it more often. I have OCD and is mainly in therapy for that and she advised me that instead of having negative compulsive thoughts, I should have positive ones (e.g. if i wear this specific clothing, instead of thinking it will be bad for me, i should think it will bring me good luck). This made me uncomfortable because it reinforces that compulsive thoughts are okay which in the past was not progressive for me.

I also went through death of my grandfather which made me guilty as the night before he died (it was sudden), i still joked about him. I opened this to my therapist and she said I should feel bad about it (even though she knew I was already struggling with self blame).

I also opened up about my struggles with my family and she told me I should be the one acting as the bigger person. And if I continue being the way that I am people will surely give up on me.

One hour session with her also cost 30% more than my 1 week living allowance which is an insane amount for a session I cannot resonate with.

Am I reading too much into it? or is this a valid reason to rethink my sessions with her? Instead of feeling fulfilled with attending my therapy sessions, she put the blame on me and it actually made me feel worse. I was initially receptive of her advice but now that I think about it, some of her actions seemed inappropriate.

Please help.

I am an 18M and in the past few months I have been dating a wonderful 17F. All this to say and has been through a lot of stuff making dealing with SA and now she’s going to EMDR I’m extremely proud of her for even considering being in a relationship after such early childhood trauma and working in EMDR to reprocess it. But every time I hear this question sits in my mind… “Do I even deserve to call myself traumatized.” She talks about disassociation like this huge big problem she has and I understand but I don’t know year it feels like. The closest I have is gaps in my hyper photographic autistic mind are 2 weeks to a month after a traumatic event I sorta just regain my memory, I can only remember tiny bits in pieces of that time though. I have lost my uncle my sister had everyone in my family I’ve cared about nearly die with me watching and doing nothing but yet, do I still hurt enough. Do I feel jealous because her hurt feels more real to me than my own? I feel no resentment at all towards her just introspection into myself. I just wish I wouldn’t feel sad when with days of her sessions she barely talks at all and I know why but still, I chose to give her grace and everything because she deserves it. But it’s nagging at the back of my mind that I should feel sad for myself.

Ok so I've (20M) been thinking about going to therapy for the past few months as I've had the hardest year of my life so far between school, father in the hospital, childhood dog dying, and things I haven't completely gotten over from my childhood/high school.

Its about 12 am and I decided to have a mock therapy session in my head(?) and i've been completely honest so far but im realizing this is some stuff people make jokes saying "even batman couldn't get this info outta me".

Im sitting here laughing as I type this but in reality im gonna feel really odd saying this to someone else. For context this specific information is romantic relationship related.

My main reason in typing this is to see how all of you were able to tell your therapist information where you fully expect to clowned on? (made fun of or not taken seriously for those who don't know)

I (35m) am a proud parent of two children. One of my children (9m) was witness to an attack on his elementary school in central Oregon. I had no idea if he was safe until hours later when I was allowed to pick him up. A good friend of mine was not as lucky (being vague for obvious reasons) and found out their child had been killed.

I am thrilled that my child is alive and well (yes he is getting therapy & the services he needs) but I'm also very saddened by the loss my friend now suffers. I'm doing my best to be there for him whenever he reaches out and will continue to do so even when everything calms down. Survivors guilt sucks & I've found the best way to deal with it so far is just being present and in the moment. Enjoy the time I have with the people I love.

My second feeling on the matter is that I don't feel like a victim. I see all these resources available to all victims of what happened but I don't feel like they would apply to me and our situation, though they do. I don't want "thoughts and prayers", I want a sense of normalcy & consistency that will only really come in time.

My question for the group then is, what more can I do?

(This is a throw-away account b/c I don’t want personal stuff like this to be linked to my main)

I have struggled with OCD my whole life, but the past 4 years it’s been especially difficult and contributing to frequent depressive periods, so I am considering pursuing a new form a treatment outside they typical talk therapy I do every other week.

I keep getting YouTube Ads for NOCD, which advertises the use of ERP as the main treatment framework for OCD. I’ve never heard of ERP before, so I tried to find some explanation for what it was online and it sounds...horrible.

From what I understand, the therapist is supposed to intentionally trigger the patient and the patient has to resist responding to the trigger? Kinda sounds like psychological torture to me, but I might just not be really understanding what the process is like, which is why I am posting here.

For reference, my OCD isn’t rooted in irrational fear of external things like germs or crowds. Rather, it is rooted in irrational insecurity and self-hate: body dysphoria, questioning every decision i make ever make/not trusting myself to make the “right decision”, convincing myself that my partner doesn’t really love me even though he has given me every reason to know that he does, etc.

Can someone explain how ERP works/how it would work for someone like me? Would the therapist just sit there at tell me that I actually AM ugly and stupid and I’d just have try not be affected by that…?

I (27F) started therapy for the first time 6 months ago, and I really like my therapist (36F). Her advice and guidance have been incredibly helpful as I navigate a difficult time in my marriage. I see her 3 - 4 times a month. What surprised me is how casual our sessions feel. We spend a fair amount of time talking about our lives, and I know quite a bit about her, including her family, hobbies, friends, church, trips, and funny stories. She also regularly shares things about her life without me asking. We eventually get into my concerns and what I want to work on, and I always find our sessions positive and helpful.
I guess I expected therapy to feel more formal and clinical. While I find our dynamic helpful, I’ve also caught myself wishing we could be actual friends and wondering whether I’m interpreting her kindness as something more personal than it is.

Something that happened this week made me question things even more. I mentioned that I’m training for a half marathon and running around local neighborhoods. She asked if I’d ever run in a particular suburb, and when I said I wasn’t sure, she mentioned that she lives there and suggested I run there sometime. It’s a fairly small suburb, so I found it surprising that she shared where she lives, especially since it could potentially lead to an interaction outside therapy.
Is this kind of casual relationship normal in therapy? Am I just overthinking things?

I’ve (33F) been thinking about starting therapy, but I honestly have no idea where to start. How do you find someone to talk to? How do you know who’s good? And how do you afford it????

For context, I’m alone quite a lot, but I wouldn’t say I’m lonely as my life is busy. I work, do sports, have hobbies and generally have plenty going on. I enjoy my own company, so it’s not necessarily that I need someone to fill my time.

I think it’s more that I’d like someone to talk to properly. Someone who could listen to what’s going on in my life, give me a different perspective and maybe challenge me a bit when I’m not seeing things clearly.

I’ve been using AI to talk through things, but I’ve realised it’s not the healthiest thing for me. It just agrees with everything you say, and I don’t think that’s always what I need. I’d rather speak to an actual person who can offer a more balanced perspective.

Recently, I had a really lovely video call with some friends I met travelling and it felt nice to be included and to have a proper conversation with people. But I still sometimes feel like I’m not particularly included in things with my core friendship group. I know this is such a silly example and I shouldn’t care but I see them commenting on each other’s social media posts and interacting, and sometimes feel like mine gets ignored. I don’t know if I’m overthinking that or if there’s something worth exploring there.

I don’t necessarily think my life is bad or that I’m struggling to cope with everyday things. I just feel like I could benefit from having someone to talk to regularly and work through some of these thoughts with.

Has anyone started therapy when they weren’t necessarily experiencing a major mental health crisis? How did you go about finding someone, and was it worth it?

Also, if you’re in the UK, how did you manage the cost? Are NHS talking therapies a good place to start, or are there affordable private options you’d recommend?

I’d really appreciate hearing people’s experiences.

(And yes I did ask ai to help me draft this but I’ve proof read and edited where appropriate 🫣)

I just ended a session early with my newest therapist. It was our first session after the initial intake. She asked me what I wanted to talk about so I said I just wanted to talk about things going on currently until I got to know her style better, so I talked about some things that had happened during the week in my personal life and she was asking me a bunch of questions. I noticed that she wasn’t really offering me any feedback or advice, just question after question after question.

I told her I would find it a little more helpful if she could offer her perspective on what I was saying because the questions were kinda wearing me out.

She then proceeded to start going through her notes and asked me if I wanted to talk about work and I said “no, I’ve already brought up a bunch of things to talk about. I don’t want to talk about work right now. Can you offer me any feedback on some of the things I’ve already mentioned?” She said “well what do you want feedback on?”

I told her “I’m gonna be honest I feel like this may not be the best fit, I’m not feeling very heard right now.” Then she literally just smirked and told me how I could go into the options and choose a new therapist. I just hung up from the call.

The bizarre thing was I had looked her up prior to the session and she had tons of great ratings.

She was also pretty late for our session which she didn’t even acknowledge and I’m just baffled as to how this woman has a job. I felt like I would’ve been better off writing in a journal.

I spoke with my first therapist briefly on the phone and feel very confident that he'll be beneficial to me. But I'm afraid we're going to spend a lot of time on things I've already journaled about and thought about. My journals are pretty long and scattered, as it's just for me to follow the thought process, but I want him to know how I'm currently processing these things and what I believe my issues are. I don't have insurance, and respect his (and my) time and my money!

My document goes like this:

-Childhood
-Traumatic Event 1
-Traumatic Event 2
-etc
-People Involved
-etc.
-What I've thought about these events
-What I think I need to work on

I'm in the middle of writing said document (I have a lot of proof reading/reformatting to do), but I'm hoping for it to be around 5-6, well formatted, pages. (12 point, New Times Roman, like english class!). Again, I'm a pretty decent writer so I don't think it's going to be a burden to read (I'll even add some levity), but it just feels odd to be like "YO, HERE'S WHAT'S UP WITH ME".

Part of my issues are not being a great improvisor with words and perhaps being able misconstrued on what I mean. Sometimes in talking about these things, the events can get muddled as it's not as easy as A happened, then B happened, then C happened... a lot of times it's like A happened, then C started bubblings, but B started taking over... oh and by the way D started, all while A was happening! So I feel like event by event is good. Then summarizing what I perceive to be my issues.

I also don't want to seem like I'm not willing to talk about these things, or expand on them more (which I'm stating in my intro paragraph), but I also don't want to spend 3 sessions just getting him to understand these events and how I view them.

I feel the context is pertinent, but I also don't want to seem like I'm "doing his job". Would it be better for me to perhaps bring different versions of the document. One with a description of these events and one with how I feel about them?

Am I going to be viewed (even more crazy), if I do this? I have pretty clear goals with what I hope to accomplish in these sessions and this is my first ever therapy session. I'm a little nervous...

I recently made a comment on a post talking about how my dad always says “he doesn’t need therapy” because he doesn’t have anything he needs to work on, and I stated that everyone needs therapy. Everyone has something about themselves that they need/want to better for the sake of themselves and others around them. Someone approached me in my DMs saying that was a bad take and not realistic, but after the conversation they stopped replying and I think they may have come to the same conclusion because eventually they stopped replying to me. Maybe I wasn’t making a good case for myself and they got bored, idk.

Some clarifications that we went over: By therapy I don’t mean just talking with a therapist. This can include everything under the emotional therapy umbrella. Journaling was one that they mentioned, and I mentioned group or couples therapy. Support groups, and even just having a deep interpersonal conversation where you open up about your inner workings with a trusted friend or family member that is not necessarily a licensed professional.

They mentioned that it wasn’t realistic because not everyone can afford it, and “most therapists are untrained and don’t know what to do”. I agree that therapy is very expensive, but I think there are a lot of avenues you can take to avoid that that not everyone is aware of. I’m very privileged to have had several good sessions with a licensed and very effective therapist. Funds have been low recently and I’ve taken my frustrations mentally out on a journal, or talking to my husband who knows me like the back of his hand. I’m aware that not everyone has that privilege.

This conversation just got me wondering if this is generally viewed as a bad take, and I’m wanting other opinions and thoughts on this. Maybe it’s a stupid question. Let me know. 👍

“Good afternoon [my name],

Within the last six months, you have no-showed for 2 scheduled appointments and late canceled 1. I’m concerned that scheduling appointments with me is not working for this moment in your healing journey, and it feels unethical to schedule you for additional appointments if this is not serving your mental health care treatment. This is also in line with our counseling services contract, which specifies that repeated cancellations or missed appointments may result in the termination of counseling. An alternative option for your care at this time could be the [place’s] free walk-in counseling services, which are available Monday through Friday from 9AM to 5PM at [address].

If you would like to reschedule with me, I can put us on the books for another appointment. However, any additional late cancellations or no-shows within the next 6 months will result in the termination of mental health care treatment services with [her company], unless due to a medical emergency. Should this termination of services happen, I will provide you with additional referrals for you to establish care with another clinician moving forward.

I hope you are well. If you would like to move forward with scheduling another appointment with me, please let me know. I look forward to connecting soon.

Best regards,
[her name]”

(This is for virtual sessions with her)

I’ve made it clear to her through a couple previous messages that I’ve been feeling depressed. I feel it should come as no surprise that I’m failing to commit to things; it’s not intentionally… my sleep schedule is awful and I miss things.

Her message makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I feel misunderstood, like the emphasis is on me being a bad patient rather than someone struggling to help myself who still needs someone to talk to. It’s not like I haven’t paid my cancellation fees or anything—I always take responsibility for her wasted time.

I just feel kinda sad that she is giving up on me because I missed a few appointments. Maybe I’m reading into it too much.
Idk, it just doesn’t make me feel good.

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming social anxiety (if that’s even the problem here)?

I want to make new friends, I want to be able to do things in public, I want to be able to order my food or talk to strangers.

I think I must get a wave of “let’s do this!” and then not remember it, because I often end up in really uncomfortable social situations or conversations that I have mentally wanted, but did NOT pursue out of anxiety of several things.

I usually just have to endure the situation once I notice I’m in it, but I feel heavily intoxicated physically and mentally, I sometimes literally just get up and run away if I see someone approaching me. None of it ever feels real, it feels so automatic and it’s an extremely embarrassing issue to deal with.
Most things just end up being a huge blur and then it eats at me for days/weeks because I’m stressed out that I was perceived by somebody.

I have tried a lot of things (cope aheads, grounding techniques, repeated exposures, etc.) the last 5 years and I have yet to have great success with any of it which is really embarrassing. 😔

Any tips?

I (18 M) had this teacher (M~50s) who I idolized very much, he came to important events that I would get awards in, and I always felt safe around him, which is rare for adults as someone with cPTSD.
Anyway, I graduated High School last year(as in the 2026 school year) and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him the entire time since. I talk to him in my head on the way to work, I think about how he would react to what I was learning, etc. I have these constant worries that, even though he supported even when I made terrible decisions or when I was awarded for something, he hated me. The thought of that made me so anxious I have been having trouble sleeping. I feel disgusting knowing I’m practically obsessed with him, and it’s so hard to admit it out loud.

Where this cross the line:
One day after studying I was grieving the time I was in his classroom, and looked him up online, and accidentally clicked on a website and read what street he lived on in my town. My heart sank and I closed the tab, but I remembered the number. A day or so later, when I was struggling with PTSD symptoms(based off his stories I assumed he had it as well, which made me feel better about having this disorder) I went on a walk at 4am and walked all the way across town (2 ish miles) just to walk past his house. I would do that for about a day, until I then looked at Google Maps and assumed a certain house was his based off the cars. I would walk by either before 6am almost everyday or after 830pm.
Recently, though, I looked up the website again and confirmed he was living in the same house I thought. I took a route home after walking by that I assumed he might take to go to work. I feel disgusting, but I felt so comforted knowing he was near by. I felt safe around him in a way I don’t even feel safe around my own parents, and I trusted him immeasurably. Whenever I have flashbacks or my chest is hurting because something reminded me of my trauma, I walk to his house early or late in the day. I did this at first because, like I said earlier, I think that he may have it and since no one else I know is diagnosed, I really wanted to talk to him about it but thought he’d hate me for asking.

The last thing he said me was to ‘keep in touch’, he hasn’t sent an email since but I assumed that was either because he was really busy or he only said ‘keep in touch’ to be polite, my mind has been screaming the latter recently and it’s made me so anxious. I haven’t gotten a full nights sleep in nearly a week now because I’ve been thinking about him almost constantly. I’m 18 and I want to buy joints just so I can walk across town, walk by his house and to the beach, and smoke a joint hoping he might find me and comfort me, or lecture me on why I shouldn’t be smoking weed at my age because he actually cares about me.

It’s not a sexual thing, I don’t think, although I do feel attracted to him. I don’t get any sort of thrill walking past his house, if anything I don’t want him to see me because I’m worried he’ll catch on and think I’m disgusting (rightfully so), I only feel immense comfort. The truth is that he’s probably like this with all his students, I’m not special, and I really really need to get therapy but I don’t think anyone near me is covered by my insurance. Sorry this was a rant. I need a wake up call or something and to get told to find a therapist. I also was kinda hoping people had similar stories.
EDIT: I also looked up an organization he’s apart of that’s public and watched some of the meetings to hear his voice again, it also made me feel comforted.

TLDR: I looked up my ex-teachers address just so I can walk by it in the early morning or late at night.

I'm 18 and I just started going to virtual CVS therapy sessions, cus it's the only thing I get for free. And I would like to attend the sessions on a regular basis because I've wanted therapy for the longest time, because I've always had mental issues.

I've had two sessions with my therapist now but the last session I had ended with rescheduling my next appointment, but from how she worded it and her tone it was like, "do you... want to make another.. appointment?"

I feel weird because from the last two sessions, I haven't really brought up any issues that I've had, I've just been talking about a few more recent things going on in my life. I had some health issues that were affecting my mental health, and I just started college and the transition has been rough on me.

Those are the two main things happening right now, but other than that I'm just... Fine. For now, I know at one point or another some old shit is gonna come up though.

I've had issues in the past with SH, and I never received any help from it from my parents or anyone. I've learned to manage it on my own. I also had an issue a few months ago with regularly sexting creepy old guys. It was like an addiction, I hated it but I couldn't stop. And there's a few things here and there on my mind that I want to talk about but nothing is like a HUGE issue right now, I'm actually coming out of what I think was some sort of depressive episode.

I want to talk about it, but I don't need much help I don't think. So do I need to keep going back? Do I wait until I need it again? Do I even need therapy? Or should I go and figure out how to bring it up? Honestly I don't even know what therapy is supposed to do, or if I have a therapy goal, I just know it's good for your brain, and my brain does weird things sometimes.

I know I asked a few different questions and mentioned a few different things so weight in on whatever lol I just want some input. Thanks :)

Besides time?

My wife has been going to therapy for trauma almost two years now. For over a year she has been doing EMDR on and off.
Just going puts her at a 10/10 anxiety (her words). She barely speaks in therapy, and has a hard time processing during and after a session.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve watched her sleep increase more and more. She is sleeping 11ish hours a day on workdays and more on the weekends.
I know she is depressed, she is on (from what I can tell) low doses of lexapro, prescribed by her PCP.
The last time we talked about any thing personal she concluded with a question “do you feel better after this conversation?” I said I did, that it gave me insights into how she is doing. She responded “I would be more willing to have these conversations if I ever felt that way. I could have gone to bed and felt nothing but now I feel helpless and I won’t get enough sleep.”

This was my first ever relationship. me and my ex boyfriend were a long distance couple. He's in the navy and before he got deployed we were stable, happy and healthy. Months went by and I found myself struggling with codependency and loneliness from not being able to talk to him. It was hard to manage I reached out to my therapist for help. although I was afraid to tell my ex how I felt I stayed strong and kept it pushing with school and working. I started parting, smoking & drinking almost every night to help cope with the loneliness and codependency I never really leaned on anyone for help, & while I was out I always made it clear about me being in a relationship no matter who tried to get at me.

One day my sister & I planned a movie night with her two guy friends. She told one of the guys that it'll be a double date but I immediately called him myself to tell him that it wouldn’t be and after that we all went to the movies and it was strictly friendly and he made no advances at me I didn't also so I didn’t have to tell him off. before we dropped them both off we all talked about relationships and I made it clear that I was happy, in a committed relationship and in love. The guy that we went to the movies with I knew him guy for years not on a personal level but he met my bf my niece and my friends so I seen him like family & We continued texting but it was friendly just talked about our day and talked about our family. It was never flirty I always sent my bf updates and notes about my day and whoever I was hanging with my bf had my location.

During my bfs deployment I spent time with my guy manager who's (25) with my homrgirls and sometimes 1on1 our bond was like brother and sister he respected my relationship and he never crossed a boundary with me ever so I felt like it was ok to be friends with a guy as long as it’s safe and a I have boundaries with them with no intentions of cheating o and betraying my partner. One night I told my sister that I was tired of sleeping alone at the house that we were staying in it made me restless & she asked if I wanted to go to one of our guy friends house I told her yea but I won't be staying cause there was no need for me to I just wanted to get out of the house. She took me over there and me and the guy talked no cuddling no kissing nun of that. I was otp with my cousin the whole 30 mins then I left to go to my homegirl house since I was able to go over. I blocked the guy friend that night cause I felt uncomfortable with being friends with him I think that was my discernment speaking but I ignored it. Days pass & one night I was leaving from the club and I was very drunk but I still made my way over there to pick up my pjs worse mistake ever. I was otp w my bf while I was otw over there but my phone had died. I asked to use the guys charger so my bf could track me I ended up laying down cause the room was spinning and I started feeling sick from the alcohol. I got sa’d that night and ever since then the relationship went down hill. I sent my bf every message and was truthful with him the entire time now I'm in therapy for sa and a breakup lol but I learned from this relationship about boundaries, trust, respect, immaturity communication and i honestly just wanted to tell someone.

I know therapy is really helpful for many people and can improve their lives. However, I feel like my life has too many issues, and a therapist would be better off helping someone with fewer problems. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with my grocery list of issues. It just feels like if I were to go to therapy, I would be taking time away from people who have a greater chance at a better life.

TW:Childhood sexual activity
I don't know what the correct flair would be. I'm exhausted and not sure what any of this is and I'm tired.

I am currently 23. And I've been having the worst mental health crisis over the past few months since graduating college. A lot of it is coming from realizing I was genuinely a horrible person in my past. I've posted a lot on other sub reddits and people keep telling me to forgive myself because I was a kid. I can't. I've thought about ending it but I'm a coward. And I've tried to fix myself and have people that care, I can't do that to them.

I didn't have a bad upbringing. I have a family that loves me and always supported me. I went to private school, albeit I was pretty sheltered but was given free range internet access suddenly in middle school. But I will not blame that. Only myself.

I started dating a guy when I was 13 and he was 14. I was really interested in sex and stuff. I had an online boyfriend I had met at a summer camp, but didn't have the heart to break up with him, and just decided to hide it. I didn't realize how evil that was and how that affected the guy at school I dated. We did fool around and I always thought it was something he wanted. But apparently it was something I really pushed him into. We ended on pretty bad terms, but recently reconnected. He had hinted that I treated him badly and I wanted him to elaborate. I can send the text threads. I really need help. I've felt horrible for how I treated him for a long time since, I've done some therapy but I don't know. I'm feeling pretty awful. I know I'm not the same kid, and my current boyfriend says that this is not who I am anymore and that I have changed. But that person is still in me. I wish I never met him. I wish I could change the past. I wish I wasn't an abuser and was kinder. I've thought about ending it because I don't deserve to walk on this earth. But I can't.

Tldr: Tell me how therapy helped you and some kind words as I'm waiting to get into therapy proper that I'm not just a lazy schmuck.

I realize somewhat that by writing that headline that it's kind of self-defeating to assume that a person would participate in additional activities if they were 'lazy', but I guess I wanted some temporary reassurance and insight until I get my second session in November.

For context: I'm a legal student that failed a year 2 years ago now and then had to wait a year to start the semester again. I finally passed but barely and I realized it wasn't simply a matter of effort and I actually got myself diagnosed with ADHD at the end of last year. At the time it was also suggested that therapy was probably necessary for me by a friend.

The medication significantly changed things for me and I found it rather life-changing although obviously it wasn't enough to make me succeed and thrive academically enough and I was brought into a meeting by my unit conveners who suggested that the probability of me passing was very low and the chances of me being excluded from the program if I failed was quite high due to my academic history and that it was suggested that I consider my options.

I'm currently getting the medical documentation and I had an initial meeting with a therapist who funnily through the screening made me squint at the results that categorically I probably had or still have high anxiety and depression.

I am a little bit optimistic but also slightly discouraged by the fact that I thought simply medicating myself for ADHD would be sufficient and obviously things have come full circle and that has not been enough. A small factor is that I did return to visit my parents interstate and it really exacerbated my burnout and other things and caused a significant academic and mental decline. So perhaps I might have managed to scrape by had I not returned to visit my family whom I have distanced myself for the greater part of a year and a half.

I'm not sure what to add but I guess I have enough insight to say some things are best left to the professionals and you can only see what comes when it comes.

But I guess the funny part is I guess at the end of writing this I already feel like I'm halfway there. In many ways. The counselors I had seen in my undergrad and otherwise were probably more harmful than good. But I'm rather optimistic about this one. And I felt that they really listened and in a way where they brought up things or identified things which I'd mentioned but not right away in the conversation but significantly later into the session without me repeating it. Hah. The cheesy I felt heard (but an underrated thing both professionally and in general).

And then finally that even in a almost null scenario - that if I go to therapy and is revealed that it's just me second-guessing myself and what not; perhaps for this sort of neurotic overthinker that's the only reassurance I've ever needed was simply that from a professional. (But it's 99% probably it's more than that)

And again funnily I have enough love for my friends and some love for myself that I'm 29, although I'd argue that my life only really started when I moved out at 26 and that I have been living and struggling with this for a while and if I had a solution for it, I would have chosen it already. And if it was simply something to be looked at or worked on simply with my friends (especially the ones I've had for more than a decade) - we would have made some progress already.

But I guess I have answered my question which is pending more therapy, but I'm sure the second guessing will crawl up. So, I guess thank you for reading and I hope for the curious that it gives some sense of solidarity and for those who have insight and kindness to spare: If you would lend me your kind words of reassurances, I'm not just a lazy failure at 29 making excuses for not being more disciplined or otherwise coasting on the money my parents have provided for my education.

Thank you for reading and all the best with your own journeys.