If my marriage was a plane.

It caught fire in February. Holding my wife's hand we jump to save ourselves, tears in our eyes, afraid of the fall.

On the way down, guilt washes over me that I didn't do more to save our plane, and now my love will have to suffer hitting the ground, along side of me. In solace, we fall together, not alone in our loneliness.

Except.

She let's go of my hand mid fall, reaching up to pull the parachute she has been quietly packing for 3 years, masked as maintaining the plane.

I disappear in a plume of dirt as I hit the ground at full speed.

Only my sons will look for my body.

I have a pretty active lifestyle with my kids and used to post stories about our activities and adventures. I recently blocked my ex-wife because I want some privacy and peace of mind. I don’t want to worry about my posts being taken out of context or used against me in the future. There is just a part she will never see again.

She says I’m being vindictive and using it as a punishment, but that’s not my intention. I’m happy to communicate about the kids and co-parenting; I just don’t feel she needs access to my personal life

I filed for separation Monday. My husband got a lot wrong in our marriage, but has been crying and apologizing saying he changed wants me to take him back. And honestly for a second I was feeling extremely guilty. The MINUTE he hired a lawyer he started following instagram xxx models. Just solidified he hasn’t changed at all….

I'm 36, divorced, and have two young boys. I'm at a point in my life where I genuinely feel lost, and I'm hoping to hear from other fathers who've been through something similar.

I came to the US about 13 years ago for college. I never planned on staying permanently. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Network Engineering in December 2019, and during my final year of college, I met the woman who eventually became my wife and the mother of my children.

My entire family lives overseas, so when we got married and had our boys, my life took a completely different direction.

By the time I graduated, I had about $20,000 in debt in my home country. Because I couldn't keep up with payments while studying, I had a travel ban there.

At the same time, I was waiting for my US immigration documents. Leaving the US could have meant not being able to return, while going home without clearing the debt meant I wouldn't be allowed to leave my home country again.

It took about two more years after graduation to receive my green card and work authorization. Even then, I had to borrow money to clear the original $20,000 debt and finally visit my family after 8 years apart.

Over the past 13 years, my total personal debt has grown to approximately $90,000, including the money I borrowed to clear that original debt.

One of the reasons our marriage fell apart was what I considered emotional cheating involving her ex-boyfriend. I don't know whether anything physical happened, but the emotional involvement damaged my trust.

Unfortunately, our co-parenting relationship has been difficult too. I've often experienced lied to and manipulation.

My boys live with their mother about two hours away in a smaller Midwestern community with tens of thousands of residents. I live near a major metropolitan area with millions of people.

That's where one of my biggest struggles comes in.

I want to live closer to my children, but I am afraid of losing the income I depend on.

Despite my degree, I haven't worked professionally in IT for about 12 years. I've been earning my living through Uber Black and limousine/chauffeur services.

I've had periods where I earned $3,000–$4,000 a week before expenses, but the work comes with expensive vehicles, high operating costs, and unpredictable income.

Moving closer to my children would likely mean starting over professionally or accepting less income.

But staying where I am means missing more of their childhood.

And that hurts every single day.

This summer I wanted to take my boys overseas to see my family. It was only the second time they'd ever met that side of their family and the longest they'd ever spent together.

To make it possible, I rented out my apartment and gave up my Uber Black vehicle during one of the busiest earning seasons.

I actually started sleeping in my car before we left.

We spent five weeks overseas, and watching my children spend time with their grandparents and relatives meant everything to me.

I don't regret giving them those memories.

But when we returned to the US, I still had nowhere stable to live and no Uber Black vehicle to work with. I continued sleeping in my car for approximately three weeks after returning.

I was trying to find housing, arrange another vehicle, and recover financially.

Three days after returning, I told my ex-wife that I wasn't doing okay and was struggling to figure out my life.

She knew I had no stable housing.

Around that time, she had entered a new relationship, and shortly afterward, she unexpectedly brought up going back to court.

From my perspective, the timing felt terrible. I suspected her new relationship influenced her desire for me to take on more parenting time, although I can't know that for certain.

I understand she deserves to have her own life, and I understand my responsibilities as a father.

But I didn't even have a suitable place for myself to sleep, let alone somewhere for two young children to stay overnight.

I needed time to stabilize my situation.

Instead, we ended up arguing about parenting responsibilities, financial support, and court.

Our parenting agreement gives me every other weekend, but with everything happening, I haven't been as consistent as I should have been. I take responsibility for that.

What hurts most is missing my children while feeling like I'm constantly struggling just to survive.

My social circle has become very small, and I don't have family nearby to lean on.

Lately, I don't even feel like myself anymore.

I used to have the energy to work 10–12 hours a day. Now I sometimes sleep nine hours and still wake up exhausted.

There are days when I know I desperately need to work, but I spend hours sitting at home overwhelmed by everything.

The debt. My kids. My divorce. My parents getting older. My career. My future.

Then I realize another day has passed without earning anything, and the stress gets worse.

I can't remember the last time I woke up genuinely happy or excited about my life.

I'm just emotionally and physically exhausted, and I know I need to make changes.

Now I'm stuck trying to figure out what comes next.

Do I stay near a major city, continue Uber Black, and focus on paying down my debt?

Do I move closer to my children, even if it means earning significantly less?

Do I try returning to IT after more than a decade away, or start a new hands-on technical career?

And how do I rebuild my emotional health and personal life when I already feel completely drained?

I'd really appreciate hearing from other divorced fathers

If you were in my position, what would you prioritize first?

I know I've made mistakes, and I'm not trying to avoid my responsibilities.

I just don't want to spend the next 10 years doing nothing but working and paying debts while watching my children grow up from a distance.

I want to be a present father, become financially stable, build a career, and eventually have a healthy relationship and a life outside of work.

More than anything, I want to wake up one day and actually look forward to my life.

If you've been through anything similar, I'd genuinely appreciate hearing how you got through it.

Thanks for reading.

I am going through a divorce. Of course he is dragging it out but unfortunately it does seem like we will be signing those papers. I’m not going to throw my business onto here but I can objectively say I feel like he is making one of the greatest mistakes in his life and I am a very very good life partner. However most men do not know the value of what they have until it’s gone.

I’m finally accepting the reality of my situation but it just feels so unfair. I went to school, got married, had kids, invested — objectively good life. I’m staying disciplined and focusing on myself and my children. It’s been 10 months. I have not been engaging in casual sex with anyone. I’ve been in therapy 2 to 3 times a week. My nervous system is recalibrated. I’m on the right path.

Can folks in this sub tell me about times their former spouses actually admitted they were wrong when all the dust settled? Did you go back? How did your life progress after you divorced and continued onward? Did you meet anyone and develop a healthy relationship?

It’s been roughly 2 months since the initial split (see first post) and 5-6 weeks since official final meeting, here’s my update on progress.

I still have severe waves of grief, mostly in the mornings and evenings, or quiet times during the day. Little things will send me back- a song, a place, a type of food, etc. but I also notice myself NOT being completely consumed by it anymore. There’s moments I actually laugh at things again. And moments i catch myself thinking forward instead of ruminating on the past.

I did land another job (a better company so that side worked out) and was able to get my own place again. I’ve been moving in the last week or so and unpacking my stuff and seeing all the things my ex wife threw in my boxes without me even noticing- pictures, gifts I gave her, things she just didn’t want- which was a major trigger. I can’t bring myself to get rid of those things yet, I just stuck them out of sight.

But overall, I am improving. I’m actually catching myself noticing other women again. For a while I couldn’t even think about being with someone else, no one compared to my ex wife in my eyes. My libido and desire completely tanked to zero. And it felt like infidelity even though I’m no longer married.

I also am starting to feel anger towards her and the situation as a whole, which sure i was angry at it prior but it was trumped by extreme grief and sadness. Which my therapist says is a good sign and says it means I’m healing.

I’m by no means ready to date again, or over it completely, but the all encompassing depression and dread is fading slowly but surely.

She also unblocked me (and only me) on the socials a couple Sundays ago, I noticed when I went to send something to a friend her picture and name popped up. I turned my profile public prior idk why, but when I noticed I switched it back to private a few hours later. Then blocked her back since she didn’t reach out or send a request and I didn’t want to keep seeing her profile pop up on people you may know.

I know she’s been out living her best life, made a whole new group of friends, stacking her social schedule, and having casual hookups. Possibly dating again. Which thinking about that is gut wrenching. Her with another man in our old bed… my dogs getting excited when another man walks in the front door…. makes me physically sick.
Anyways-

Also noticed she recently added a song to a playlist we made with our names but never added anything to it and don’t think it can be deleted. (Yes I was checking) (and it’s different than the collaborative one Spotify auto updates every 24hrs that she cancelled) “home to me” by tones and I.
I’ve been wishing she’d reach out with an apology and saying she made a mistake and wants to fix our marriage, but I know that text isn’t coming. Too much damage was done. At times I want her back, other times I don’t even know how that’d look or if I’d be able to respect myself if I did after what she did.

The holidays are coming up which I know
Is going to be hard and set me back again, but I am getting closer to the point of acceptance.

EDIT: Her sister in law reached out a few weeks back saying how none of the family agrees with her excuses or reasonings and don’t think it justified ending a marriage. And they’re all very heartbroken and will miss having me around. And they’re all upset with her over this. Which helped alleviate the feeling of being a complete piece of sh*t and that it was all my fault. Helped accelerate the healing process too.

2 months ago I didn’t see a way through this or how
I was going to survive. But I heard a Jocko Willink quote- “when you’re in the storm, you can’t see a way through it. But from an outside perspective- clear skies are only 4 ft to the left” I’m paraphrasing.. but that mental image helped as well.

Anyways- just felt like posting an update.
Hope everyone has a great week.

I don’t know if I want to over everything or nothing.

I’m afraid of knowing details because it will scar me forever. It can never be unburned from my mind.

But there is also this sick need to pull the bandaid off and know everything. As if it will provide cleansing and closure.

What should I do?

Me28f Husband 38M. Together 9 years. Married 2. Since the beginning he has shown signs of being very mean. (Not abusive at all) - anywho. I’ve tried to break up with him a few times when dating because he just doesn’t do anything. He’s lazy. Unappreciative. Ungrateful. Kinda mean. And after “breaking up” - he’s been nice. I treat him like a king btw. Anywho. 3 days ago I told him I wanted a divorce. You don’t deserve me I said. He cried, said I know, and did more in 3 days than in 3 years. And now he’s trying so hard. I feel so guilty. And scared. Advice please. Because he is nice, he’s a good person.

Me (31F) and my husband (31M) have two young children, a two-year-old and a 5 month old. Following the birth of my youngest, my husband has become pretty abuse. He's constantly talking negatively towards me (to the point he made fun of me for not knowing how to change notes on a guitar... never played the guitar before). He's also hit me and told me he wishes I'd died during childbirth. I told him that if he dared to say that again, I'd leave him.

Last night I was changing my youngest's nappy while he was just chilling. Usually we agree that one of us makes a bottle and one of us changes the baby. The baby was crying and he'd not made a bottle, so I got annoyed with him and told him off. He responded by telling me I'm a psychopath for not comforting the baby and that, again, he wishes I'd died during childbirth. He had been ill and suffering from lack of sleep, but that's not an excuse.

This morning he fully expected me to get his favourite lunch and hasn't even made so much as an attempt to apologise.

I'm emotionally done with the situation. The main problem is that we have quite a large mortgage and even though I earn decently, I can't afford to buy him out. We renovated the whole place and I really rather wouldn't give that up. We also live in an expensive village and I wouldn't be able to buy any other property with my salary. The housing market in Europe is awful at the moment and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Divorcing would mean losing the house and moving to a different city. Considering it's nearly impossible to get childcare in our area, I'm also stressed about that.

I'm currently considering mentally checking out and just bearing it. But I know realistically that isn't a great option and would probably mentally damage the kids.

I guess I'm looking for tips on how to approach this situation.

Last year, my soon-to-be ex-wife, “Sara,” wanted a divorce after nearly 16 years of marriage. I knew we were struggling but hoped we could work on our marriage once we finished school and she became licensed.

She spent most of our marriage pursuing her master’s and doctorate in counseling psychology. I often did things alone or with friends. We spent time together, but I wanted more quality time. She considered watching TV together enough, although she usually crocheted or did schoolwork.
When she reduced her working hours, I became the primary earner and assumed more expenses. She handled most household duties and morning care for our four dogs. We never formally discussed this arrangement; it developed naturally.

Lonely and bored, I started my bachelor’s in 2014 while working full time in labor relations. Work and commuting took nearly 11 hours daily, followed by two to three hours of schoolwork. I graduated in 2022, then completed my master’s from January 2024 to August 2025.

During COVID, I began working from home, generally from 7 AM until 4 PM or later, with negotiations still taking me away some days. Sara continued most housework and did grocery deliveries, earning up to $35,000 annually, but about $11,000 in two years affected by medical issues. I never complained about her earnings because she did so much at home.

Health setbacks and internship/postdoctoral recordkeeping problems delayed her licensing. She passed her boards in July 2025. Afterward, her behavior changed and we argued more, which was unusual for us. We separated in September, and she filed for divorce in December. We still live together.

During arguments, including this October, she said she married me only because she was losing benefits after her job was eliminated in 2009. We had already discussed marriage and moved our planned May 2010 wedding forward after her job loss. I married her because I loved her and believed she had chosen this nerdy, awkward guy.

She says I wasn’t there enough emotionally or around the house. She also said she considered leaving 10 years ago and five years ago, staying the second time because of a dog I got.
In August 2025, I changed roles at the same company. My job is much less demanding, with one office day weekly.
Mediation is scheduled for November 2026. We both want that same dog, and neither will leave for fear of losing the dogs.

Sara initially proposed shared custody and ownership, which I supported. In February 2026, she said she wouldn’t take two dogs because they were closer to me. Concerned she was changing our agreement, I asked to pause while awaiting Pennsylvania legislation addressing pets in divorce. It passed the House but has remained in the Senate Judiciary Committee since October 2025. My emails to senators and media went unanswered.

Cooperation gave way to demeaning comments and criticism. Overwhelmed, I agreed in May to proceed with shared custody. Sara then refused, saying I had reneged. She now wants three dogs, leaving me one, separated from his siblings, including the dog he grew up with and is bonded to.

I wasn’t a perfect husband and could have done better. But her statements about marrying me and wanting to leave make me feel used and betrayed. I’ve cried so much that hearing her repeat her reason for marrying barely registered in the moment. It still hurts.

There are two sides, and this is only mine. I’ve tried to be accurate without exaggerating. I just needed to get this out.

My wife (43f) and I (45m) are divorcing. Between dating and being married, we’ve been together for just over 20 years. We have three kids 14 years of age and below. Our relationship has been struggling for the last 4 to 5 years. There has been no intimacy, and I don’t mean just sex. No meaningful physical contact, no dates, no time together watching a show on the couch after the kids go to bed, and no interest in trying to spend any time together.

Each time I would bring it up, I would be rebuffed and told maybe later. I’ve asked her many times what’s wrong, I can tell you’re not happy, what can I do? Her response has always been the same, defensive and argumentative. Saying that I’m pushing her and that she no longer wants to spend time with me. I would respond that I am unhappy and feel that our marriage has devolved into a roommate situation. Her response has consistently been that’s just what happens as couples age.

I’ve begged her to go to counseling, to talk to someone with me or just by herself. She was never receptive to this, and in fact would get angry when I would mention it. I would say do you even want to stay married? Are you seeing someone else? Her response was I want to stay married and I’m not cheating.

But there were warning signs, and I ignored them because she said she needed time to figure things out and so I was willing to support her through what she was working on. I work full-time, and she works about 12 hours a week. Money has been tight the last couple years, but she has been unwilling to look for a full-time job and has portrayed me to friends and family as someone who is not a good provider. This is led me to take on additional tasks at work to try and get promoted and earn additional income. She also tells her friends and family that I’m not supportive enough around the house, despite doing the bulk of the yard and housework. Not to mention I never miss a child’s school or sporting event.

Unfortunately, I recently found out that she’s been having a year long affair with one of our children’s friend‘s Dad. It has been devastating. When I confronted her about it, her response was, well a lot of people do this. This was so bizarre to hear, and I still struggle with attempting to reconcile the fact that the woman who I thought I knew and loved was able to have a secret life and thought that it was just something people do. Her friends knew, her sister knew. I spoke with her sister and her response was, she’s my sister and so I supported her. And now she and her sister are piling on me to hide her secret, to not let our children know why we’re divorcing.

If I were to let the kids know, it would destroy them. Particularly my oldest given who the affair partner is. I want to protect my children, but I am struggling that that also comes with me protecting my wife from something unforgivable. She has gaslit me for years. I have to walk on eggshells anytime I’m around her. When I’d walk in the front door after work I never knew who would be there. The wife would simply ignore me, the wife would snap at me if I would try to engage, or the wife who would get on me about some inconvenience that she experienced because I was working. I realize now why she was so defensive. Why she got upset when something came up with the kids and they had to go to the doctor or stay home from school. Her afternoons were for her boyfriend and she would take it out on me when suddenly she had to do something related to the family.

I feel so stupid for being strung along so long. But I loved her. And I thought we were just going through a rough patch and that we were working through it. I had no idea what she was doing and unfortunately, I found out by seeing the incredibly graphic text exchange that she was having with her boyfriend - simply while trying to pull up the calculator on her phone while working on homework with one of my kids.

Long-story short, We will be divorcing and she is moving out in a couple weeks. We both have attorneys and are trying to work it out amicably. That said, I’m the one who has maintained his cool despite all I found out. She is still snappish annd unwilling to talk about what happened. But, I just need her out. We are moving forward with joint custody and splitting our assets. I am seeing a therapist. I will likely have serious resentment at some point, but right now it’s almost just pure anxiety driving me.

So, I was just looking to share this. Any advice or guidance would be appreciated. Or just commiseration. What a mess. I really thought I had life figured out. Whoops.

All lies in a marriage !

Its suffocating now

When my partner and I were dating, he promised this and that and what not

And cut to, after marriage, he doesnt give 2 fucks about me, I live with him, his parents and his grand parents and his younger sister

I have 0 freedom and every other day, my FIL calls me and tells I shouldn't go out, shouldn't eat out, should take care of the entire family, I should always give give and give and never expect anything in return

I should make a baby now, the grandfather also told about the baby and blackmailed that something will happen to him if we dont have a baby.

My FIL blackmailed that if we dont have a baby, he will not write the house in my partner's name and we'll actually become homeless

And my partner is least interested in making money, buying a house or a plot for himself.

He spends most of the time with his mom chit chatting and cleaning and helping in the kitchen.

He's least bothered about his career.

And I have 0 freedom at his home. I dont go out of my room (not even my room cz my inlaws come whenever they want inside our room and they have their belongings in our room, and they comment about the room being in a certain way). If I go down, they keep correcting me and its becoming too much now

My husband screws me for this. Yesterday it was the peak for me, he blackmailed me telling he'll create a scene at my parents home and he actually did it. That was it for me.

My parents being patriarchal supported him entirely and asked me to adjust and not argue with my husband.

Im left stranded, I dont know what to do.

I dont have anything called as mine now

My emotionally/sometimes physically abusive husband is in denial about me finally pulling the trigger and pursuing divorce. He called me a cunt in front of my kids after I warned him multiple times to stop so I’m just done. But he wants to carry on like nothing happened, show no remorse, and just continue being miserable together. It’s a total mind fuck. Idk what my question is. Just ranting I guess. Anyone been through something like this? I’m so scared of just not going through with it for the 100th time.

I do want to try and separate for a little bit of time with my husband, we’ve been having a LOT of issues. You can read my other posts for context. But I’m confused on how to do so in my situation. I have no family or friends around me, they all live on the opposite side of the country as me. I don’t make enough to move out. I don’t want to have to pack up all my things and move across the country only for my husband and I to reconcile a month later and have to move all my stuff back across the country again.

So I guess what I’m asking is what does separation actually LOOK like?

Hi,
I‘m 26 years old female, I filed Khula in August after my marriage that lasted about 8 months. It was an arranged marriage, my parents are from Pakistan, I was born and raised in Germany, so was my ex husband. But he was very disrespectful, his mother and sisters ruined our marriage, but he was at fault because he listened to them and left me pregnant alone at the hospital, I lost my baby. Then decided to leave him. I want a loving husband and I want children, I want a family. I want to hear some positive remarriage stories. At what age did you marry again, was it better the second time? Did you have children after the second marriage and are you happy now? Please I need some hopeful stories. I would‘ve never left my husband if he was there for me and OUR baby, he was 9 years older than me so he was an adult but still decided to leave me alone in the most dificult time of my life. He could never be happy for me but I needed him to be there for me at my lowest. I loved him a lot so it’s very hard but I know it’s the right decision. Now I‘m just empty and ask myself if I could ever trust or love someone again. So asking for some hope.
Thanks already :) !!

I’m just so sad y’all. My gut, God, The Universe, everything is telling me to move out, so I am. But I’m so so broken up over it.
I’ve been with him every day for almost 10 years.
It wasn’t perfect, but he was there.
I’m moving in with family so I won’t be alone, but I’m in pain.

Any kind words or encouragement or even just commiserating is much needed right now.
Letting Adele’s sweet voice hold me close tonight.

I’m currently going through a divorce in Pennsylvania and trying to understand how likely it is that I’ll be ordered to pay spousal support or alimony pendente lite (APL), given the circumstances of our extremely short marriage.

Please bear with me here… I know this marriage was a terrible idea, but for the longest time, until now, I was undiagnosed with a mental disorder. I’ve started taking medication recently and can now see how terrible this whole ordeal was…

Anyways, context:

My wife and I dated for approximately 3 months before getting married. We have now been married for approximately 3 months and only lived together during those 3 months. We have no children, no joint bank accounts, and no jointly purchased assets. We do, however, share a residential lease.
When I met my wife, she was unemployed and living with her parents. She previously worked full-time, earning approximately $20/hour, but voluntarily quit that job because she didn’t like it.
Throughout our marriage, I have been the sole financial provider. I’ve paid our rent, utilities, groceries, and essentially every household expense.
I repeatedly encouraged her to find employment and contribute financially, as our original understanding was that we would both contribute toward our living expenses. Although she occasionally applied for jobs, she limited her search almost exclusively to airline positions rather than pursuing other available employment opportunities.
Eventually, she began babysitting approximately twice per week, earning around $100 weekly. Aside from that, she has remained unemployed.

Will I be expected to pay alimony, or APL?

She is still living with me. Not working, I pay all household bills.

THANKS!

EDIT: I have already had her served via Sheriff’s Department.

I have mediation in Georgia tomorrow. No idea what to expect. Any recommendations?

A few months ago, I posted a question because during discovery I had to share all of my transaction history, and was embarrassed about a small OF charge and was afraid he would bring it up.

This community was so kind in reassuring me not to worry. The overwhelming response was 1) most likely wouldn't come up and 2) not a big deal if it does. Those replies helped my anxiety tremendously.

Now that things are wrapped up, I wanted to come back in case anyone else has a similar worry. It all worked out, you guys were right!

Did you ever realize you cared deeply about someone but you didn’t love them the way maybe you thought you should love a spouse?

I’m posting here because I have nobody to talk to. I married my husband just over a month ago after a very tumultuous 5 year relationship. Just before the marriage I called the wedding off twice because of ridiculous fighting.
From year 2 to year 4 I could not even count on two hands the amount of times we broke up and got back together. I went through Insane amounts of pain and was extremely torn on what to do. For some reason I could never fully walk away. As it goes, most of our arguments had to do with both of our faults, so I could never fault him fully. He never cheated on me (that I know of) and he never physically abused me. Sometimes I wish he had done either of those things so that things could be cut and dry.

The year before the engagement had calmed down a bit and I felt we had finally found our stride. That all changed when we moved in together about one month after engagement. All hell broke loose over things that were my hobbies and passions that he didn’t want in the house. I felt very trapped and like I couldn’t live the rest of my life like this which lead to me calling it off the first time. To resolve the issue, he tolerated the things I wanted in the house (plants) but I always felt very uncomfortable about it. It remained an unspoken resentment we both had but both decided to live with.

The second time was sparked by issues with my dogs and this time i was truly done. I moved my stuff out, I told my family and my friends. He sat me down and had a
vulnerable heart to heart with me and asked me to not give up now. I went back and tried to reassure everyone it will be fine. I was met with extreme skepticism from all my friends and family that this would work.

We are now married and surprise, surprise one month in we are an inch away from divorce. It’s almost unbearable. We are basically in a stalemate, we don’t speak at all, we don’t say bye or hi, we sleep separately, and we are now starting to split everything 50/50 like roommates.
When we do speak we go straight into arguing, talking over each other, insulting each other and yelling.

Since I already told everyone it will be fine before the wedding, I feel I can’t go to any of my support system with this. I haven’t told anybody what’s happening and it’s starting to get to me. What’s killing me the most is that I feel like the biggest idiot. Because I KNEW I should have left so many times. Literally countless times I knew I should have left. But for some reason I just couldn’t walk away. And then, after we were engaged the stakes were even higher. Another thing is I really really wanted a family. I’m about to be 32 and I thought it would make sense to have kids with him since I love him anyway. Obvisouly there were many positives to our relationship as well and I felt it wouldn’t make sense to throw what we built away.
But now I’m at the point where I’m feeling grateful I didn’t get pregnant yet. I’m close to saying fuck it to all my dreams of parenthood. I’d rather be childless and alone and live freely and peacefully than deal with this shit or god forbid, raise children in this hostile environment.
I just feel like the biggest idiot and like I deserve what I’m going through because I didn’t have the balls to leave before.
I have a tendency of getting extremely mean to myself when I go through disappointments.
I don’t know what to do. But I don’t see how this marriage could ever survive and thrive…

I mean, how did I let myself get involved with a person like that? Again..... To be honest, I love them so much. But the way that they treated me no matter what they said how they felt about me

It was very, very, very disrespectful, hurtful and made me think why did I ever love this person

On top of that the mythomaniac i had no remorse over what she said. Knowing it was untrue, what

Blatantly, look, you in the face and tell you that it's not happening. And it's not true I found so much evidence in the house

It was crazy in all I did look at them very differently, but more upsetting, because they wanted to keep it a secret from me. And I don't think it was because they didn't want to hurt me, I just think this. They wanted to make me look like a fool. had to be the only answer

Which was very hateful. I don't know what to do about anything anymore. Of course, the big D word well, the other big D word that's another word that she loves. I found out it is being presented and is in progress this is my first time being in a marriage that really never really felt like a marriage from the beginning

I do care about them and love them. So much but the antagonizing backstabbing NBS cheating the lying manipulation deceiving mood swings

Conflict starter negativity just all around bad environment when I really tried to work on the things that they said, I did. Which is one of the ways they would start everything and then it results to something being my fault. Now, it wasn't always her starting stuff at times I did, but towards the end it was mostly them. Because I would not try to argue i found out about others, then seeing what my own eyes. The things they was doing it made me very uneasy

I am very sad, very, very sad because I wanted to make this work. But they really didn't they wanted to. I have a marriage that wasn't a marriage really. And do whatever they want to while they talked behind my back to anyone. Basically, and they would talk down on me together. For whatever reason, she thought I wasn't good enough for her. Secretive lifestyle that she liked, I came out for the life for me. Understand why they agreed to marry me. Well, let's be clear we talked about marriage then 1 day they upped and wanted to get married. We did went to the courthouse, but never finalized it a couple of months later, I took them to the courthouse, and we did finalize it this time, but it was very cold.they wasn't very excited, It was just kind of bland and then maybe a week, if that later, they kicked me out, causing a mischief about something very small, making it big as per usual, I always think they did this to do what they wanted to do with somebody else. I don't know if they did it to make somebody jealous or whatever. The reason but I cannot understand why a person would play like that over something. So serious, but I did it. And now, a few months later, we are going to be divorced. I always wanted to be a family person, so I was ecstatic being that I wanted to spend my life with this person, but this person wants to be wanted by all. They will never give up their personal secrets. Life for me.

Nor did they respect me at all. Well, they didn't respect me to others. Behind my back at all, and that was one of the most hurtful things ever. So now I'm feeling like a dumb ass for doing something. I knew what's going to happen, but I hoped that they would see how much I loved them, no matter what I did. It was always the same thing, and I just didn't want me in the end. And now i'm just sad

I wish I can go back in time. tell myself, don't do it? I know you love them, but they will never change. And they only want to get worse and hurt you even more

Hello. This is a post about my mom and dad. I’ve reviewed the rules, so I hope this is still allowed. I am their child. I’m coming to this sub to try and understand from other perspectives why they would stay together. How could you stay together? I don’t know. It’s weird.

For context: my mom is a PCP and my dad is a musician. He is completely financially dependent on her. I am an adult, so I no longer want to think about this. I want outside perspective. I am not married and have no children.

My mom has been cheating on my dad for at least 14 years (most likely more). When my dad found out, he didn’t leave her. She was carrying on an entirely separate sexual and romantic relationship with another man, and he stayed. My mom and the other man are still together, and my parents are still married.

It would make sense if you stay together for family or economical reasons, but my mom doesn’t even like my dad. In fact, she hates him. She hasn’t told anyone in the past 14 years of the affair, not even her friends.

Sorry if this was scatterbrained, and I really hope this gets posted. What do you guys think? Why?

Edit: I should mention they do not have good communication skills and have not talked about it at all, they act like nothing happened and exist in awkward interactions when I visit.