I’m 35, married, and have a baby. My partner cannot work because of a disability, so I’m responsible for supporting our household.
I work and make approximately $100,000 a year. My take-home pay is about $2,900 every two weeks, or $5,800 in a normal two-paycheck month.
I know that salary sounds decent, but here are my monthly expenses before groceries and several other necessities:
Mortgage: $2,715
Car payment: $564
Auto insurance: approximately $405
Phone: $241
Electricity: $237
Natural gas: approximately $88
Water: approximately $43
Internet: approximately $95
Private student loan: $85
IRS payment plan: $75
Credit card minimum: approximately $57, depending on the statement
That’s roughly $4,605 a month before groceries, gas for the car, baby supplies, healthcare, federal student loan payments, and other expenses. Some utilities vary.
My debts, excluding the mortgage and car balance, are approximately:
Credit card: $5,750
IRS: $3,038 after a $400 payment I just made
Private student loan: $2,712 at 7.12%
Federal student loans: $16,814 at approximately 2.75%–4.53%
That’s about $28,300, with the IRS and credit card being the debts I most urgently want gone. My credit card is currently at 0%, but that promotion ends January 27, 2027. The regular purchase APR listed is 21.49% variable.
I’ve tried working second jobs to get ahead, but the lack of sleep and exhaustion catch up with me. My mental health declines, my performance suffers, and I end up losing those jobs. I’ve also been applying and interviewing for higher-paying primary jobs. I’ve had interviews that felt promising, but I still haven’t been selected. I’m trying to improve my situation, but nothing has worked out yet.
After being fired from a previous second job, I cashed out that job’s 401(k). The gross withdrawal was $3,988.35, they withheld $797.67 in federal taxes, and I received $3,190.68. Nothing was withheld for state taxes. I now understand that withholding may not cover the full income tax and potential 10% early-withdrawal tax. I’m provisionally planning to reserve another $700, though the actual amount depends on my tax return.
I have a separate retirement account and have considered withdrawing from it to clear the IRS and credit card. I have about 17k in that account. I want the relief, but I’m worried about creating another tax bill.
I’m exhausted and feel trapped. I can see that dining out and subscriptions need to come down, and I’m willing to make changes. But working myself into the ground with another job hasn’t been sustainable.
Given these numbers, what would you prioritize? Would using retirement money make this worse, and what realistic options am I overlooking?