I'm 32, disabled, and facing homelessness. My parents won't take me in because of a psychiatric episode over a decade ago. I'm terrified, but I desperately want to rebuild my life. Please help me figure out how to survive.
I'm writing this through tears because I genuinely don't know where else to turn. I'm 32 years old, a mother to a beautiful little girl, a former senior data engineer, and someone who has spent years trying to overcome the effects of mental illness and trauma.
And in December, when I return to Colorado, I am facing homelessness.
I have autism, ADHD, and complex PTSD. My life hasn't been easy. I've experienced serious psychiatric difficulties, particularly in my early twenties, including episodes of paranoia and delusions. During one of those episodes, over a decade ago, I believed and said things about my father that hurt him.
My parents still hold me personally responsible for what happened during that illness. They have told me they aren't comfortable allowing me to live with them, even temporarily.
I understand that people have boundaries. I understand that my parents were hurt. But I cannot adequately describe the heartbreak of knowing that I might be sleeping in a shelter or on the streets while my own parents refuse to give me a safe place to land.
I've apologized. I've told them I love them. I've expressed how deeply I regret what happened when I was unwell.
Sometimes I feel like I'm serving a life sentence for having been mentally ill.
I've reached out to friends, too. Almost everyone has said they can't accommodate me. One wonderful friend has offered me a couch for a few days, and I'm incredibly grateful, but after that, I don't know where I'll go.
The loneliness and rejection are crushing. I feel like I've been cast out of society, like there's something fundamentally wrong with me that makes me undeserving of help.
But I don't want to give up. I desperately want to live a good life.
Here's the part that hurts the most.
I have a young daughter whom I love more than anything in the world. Her father and I are separating, and our parenting agreement allows me to resume 50/50 custody when I return and can establish a suitable home.
I want to be her mother. I want to tuck her into bed, make her breakfast, read her stories, and be there for the ordinary moments of her childhood.
But I need housing to make that possible.
I am terrified that homelessness will keep me separated from my child.
I also want people to understand that I'm not someone who has given up on contributing to society.
I have approximately eight years of professional experience in data engineering and analytics. I've worked in senior technical roles involving SQL, data architecture, ETL pipelines, database development, automation, and business intelligence. I previously earned a six-figure salary. I'm educated, capable, and experienced. I'm currently teaching English online to generate income while I work toward rebuilding my career.
My life has fallen apart in ways I never imagined possible, but I still have skills. I still have ambition. I still have so much love to give.
I don't need a luxurious lifestyle. I don't need to be wealthy or extraordinarily successful.
I want a modest apartment. A steady job. A little financial security. A peaceful home where my daughter feels safe and loved.
I want to wake up in the morning without being afraid of what will happen to me.
I want to stop feeling like a burden for simply existing.
I'm asking for practical advice from people who have experienced homelessness, especially people with disabilities or mental health conditions.
- How do I survive homelessness safely as a woman in the Denver/Thornton, Colorado area?
- What should I do immediately upon returning if I have nowhere permanent to stay?
- Are there shelters, transitional housing programs, or housing assistance resources for parents trying to reunite with their children?
- How can I continue interviewing for professional jobs while homeless?
- How do I protect my mental health, maintain hygiene, and keep my belongings safe?
- Are there resources specifically for autistic adults or people with psychiatric disabilities?
- Has anyone managed to rebuild their career, secure housing, and regain stability after losing almost everything?
I'm especially interested in hearing from people who went from a stable professional life to homelessness and found their way back.
I am so scared.
I've been crying because I feel unwanted by the very people I believed would love me through anything. And sometimes I feel so hopeless that imagining a better future seems almost impossible.
But somewhere underneath all this grief, there's still a part of me that refuses to surrender.
I want to survive this. I want to get better. I want to build a safe home for my daughter. I want to prove to myself that my life isn't over because I've experienced mental illness, made mistakes, or fallen on hard times.
I don't want my story to end here.
If you've been through something similar, please tell me how you made it.
I could really use some hope right now. And even more than hope, I need a plan.
Thank you for reading.