Since I and my AP are local, we try and do biweekly meet ups in a hotel booked through Dayuse. All our meetups till now have been using only one Hotel for our getaways, mainly because of the price and hours we can book there for that day.
The other day I went to the front desk to get the keys and he gave me a nice bigger room saying he knew I was frequent to their Hotel which made me think if going frequently to the same hotel was an opsec issue? Do they really care if I was frequent Dayuse guest every time I check in?

AP of 3 years is getting married tomorrow. I was good with it until this week and I saw pictures of her in the dress. She’s been in a long term engagement and they live together so I’m sure it won’t be much different after.

Kind of sad today but can’t talk to anyone about it because you know…

We loved each other, and we told each other that. After months of off-again-on-again she finished things. Said she needed to move on and that she’d started seeing someone new. It’s been three weeks and it still hurts like it did on day 1. I feel completely empty. I’ve had to see her twice and she’s still warm and says she still cares but can’t be an AP anymore. I miss her every day from the second I wake up until I go to sleep. I want to text her and tell her how I feel. I want to hear her voice, hear her tell me she loves me again. I had something wonderful and it’s gone and now I don’t know how to move forward.

Between my wife and I, we have a daughter 3 years old. She also has a son who is 14 years as of now. Her mom has always had a big influence on her specially she took care of her son and still does and considers her own. She never liked me mainly because she felt my wife’s heart and attention divided after I appeared in her life and then with the daughter , her attention divided further more. She has always disliked me and made it clear since day one. We have been married 4 years, and ever since our daughter , my wife and I are living like roommates.exactly and year ago I met my ap and which was supposed to be a casual affair. I never knew when I got emotionally involved and to such an extent that even when I wanted to finish things with my ap, I never could. Mostly how she made me feel about myself. She did things for me my wife never did or even bothered. Be it as small as asking me if I ate or no. Sexual chemistry was amazing . Something I never had with someone else. 2 weeks back my wife found out about her and things got ruined. I always knew there would be a day that everything will be out and I was just going with the flow. And when it happened, my ap who was bombarded with abuse messages from her and her family. She felt terrible and decided we should end it. She cried her heart out. I decided to stay with my wife because - 1. My daughter. She means the world to me.
2. My wife even though she is not the perfect person, she is a good human being and she has been with me through tough times. She has always been a best friend and I do love her but I m not sure if I m in love with her or no. Multiple times in our marriage she has been physically abusive for the smallest of stuff. She has severe ocd.

I miss my ap so much and I just want to talk to her again. To know how she is doing. If she miss me, or has she moved on. All of it has been driving me crazy. I don’t have appetite. I can’t sleep. I have started therapy but my mind keeps running to her. All day all night. I miss her so much. My wife and I are trying to work things out but there are episodes every now and then where she Remembers what happened and everything derails. Something inside me screams this won’t last. Something inside me screams if I leave it for so long there won’t be any way back to my ap.
I just don’t know what to do. My head is going crazy.

I need help

I (36f) and my AP (40m) have been seeing each other for almost 3 years. we work together. so 5 days every week get to be around each other. secretly brushing against each other. meeting at the end of our shifts for hugs if able to. our little inside jokes. the secret looks and smiles. we never asked for this. it wasn’t supposed to happen. but it happened so naturally. we met and it felt like I had known him forever. he is the only person I trust with everything. about a year in the big ol L word was used. and over time we realized we truly are in love with each other. but he has a family at home. as do I. I know I know I should just end it. but the thought truly breaks a part of my soul and I don’t think I can handle it. we do message outside of work. but it really is hard. all I think about is him. wishing I could spend time with him outside of work. we have met up maybe a handful of times outside of work for very short little meet ups. and while yes part of this is sexual it is also so much more. any tips or advice on how to get through the hard days. the days where it feels like this secret relationship make you feel like you could explode.

Here we go...

43 [M4F] #UT looking for a taco at a potluck dinner where 1000 guests brought hotdogs

There once was a man of age forty-three

He got bored and needed to feel much more glee

He was creative and such and butt loads of fun

He was looking for a partner that wouldn't ghost or run

He looked high and low in search of a sweet gal

Give him a shot because he makes a very swell pal

He stands six foot even with  some stubble on his chin

His dimples glisten like diamonds every time he does grin

His eyes how they twinkle all hazel green and blue 

If you see his smile you'll go crazy like a monkey at a zoo

He doesn't like to brag but confidence is key

He knows his worth as a man and hopes for you to see

He's ever so witty and his conversations do flow

His flirty ways will leave you smiles that seem to forever glow

If you send him a message he will gladly take part

Let him get to know you and he will surely melt your heart

You guessed it! I'm just a fun dorky dad looking to find a fun dorky mom that is easy going, has a taste for bad dad humor, and is looking for a good time..  by a good time, I do mean the best time.. and by best time I do mean the best time you can have while keeping your clothes on.... For now.  

Connection matters to me so no nudes or see naughty stuff till I trust you, and you trust me.  Ok? Ok! 

I am 6ft even. green/blue eyes.  I suffered extensively through adult braces so I've got a good smile with dimples that complete the ensemble. I stay physically active. I run or bike most days of the week.

I'm looking for a long term connection.  I am high energy and I need someone that can match it.  I don't do half ass mode when it comes to anything I do.   Also, I'm not really into people that say they want a "slow burn" and use it as an excuse to not put any effort into engaging in any real and meaningful conversations.

Attraction does matter.  We can be adults about that right?  I'm cute, you want cute, and I want you to be cute.  

That's about all I have to say about that.  DM and tell me the most annoying thing your kids have ever done so I know you aren't a creepy AI bot.  Stupid AI. 

Ew. Also, now I'm hungry for a taco and a hot dog.

42 [M4F] PNW Canada married dad

Me: lonely, dad-bod, neuro-spicy, depressed and anxious. In dead bedroom marriage. Enjoy chicks who wear thongs and are comfortable showing their midriffs. I find intimacy and sharing sexy, I'm pretty vanilla compared to what seems to be on Reddit but kinks include freeuse, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. Won't lie that I last long but refractory period is minimal and I want us both to end the conversation pleased.

You: bored hard up lonely housewife or hotwife or single female who likes making married men cum for them.

~Let's keep it to Reddit chat ok.

Man, this guy's all over the place. Neuro-spicy, you say?

72 [M4F] #Westchester Millwood petting and light play

I would like to experience enhancing your sexuality and giving pleasure if you’d like some extra touches via my hands.    My requirement is that you need to let me admire and touch your breasts.   I’d prefer you to be 50 to 70 years old with perky to saggy breast and with a body from thin to moderately chubby.    Any race.  About an hour should be fine.    Leave your husband out of this, keep it secret.   If you are cautious, worried or just want to limit things, I plan to leave my pants on as just enjoying breasts is wonderful for me.   If I start dripping you can use your fingers to collect those drops.  Maybe just making out while I slip my hands up your sweater.   I love to hear what you’d like.   Sorry, no gifts.   Twice a month tops.

Grandpa horny, Michael.

36 [M4F] #SC My loneliness is killing me

I am just out here searching for someone to spend my time on getting to know. Hopefully we click and this can turn into something more long term. I’d love to find whatever version of the “one” is out here on Reddit.

A little about me: Everyday, average, typical, married dad. Well, average except for being on here. Also slightly taller than average. I have some hobbies but those are more fun to reveal in conversation. I have my funny moments and enjoy others with a good sense of humor.

What I’m looking for: Just someone to put a little effort in. Setting the bar low.

...and I...I must confess, I still believe (still believe)

22 [M4F] #Florida. Looking to cheat on my black girlfriend with a white women.

Hi I'm a 22M dating a 22F black girl. I myself am mixed race, specially Mediterranean/middle eastern. While my gf is nice she doesn't want sex till marriage and she doesn't let me touch her outside of regular hugs and kisses. This is an issue for me since I'd like to have sex and play out some of my fantasys.

I'm looking for a white women specifically but I'd be ok with Hispanic or Asian girls aswell. You must have a tight ass (not necessarily big) and be willing to get creampied. Any ages between 18-26 would be good. Please no overweight or plus sized girls. I'm looking for either a one night stand or a longer term affair depending on how well we get along.

If it's I'm important to you I'm 6 inches long and 5.5 inches long thick. I'm also 5'9" with dark brown hair and brown eyes. I'm tanned.

Please dm with age and location. I'm ok with talking online for a bit before meeting up for the affair.

I thought younger people were better than this. I was wrong.

39 [M4F] #DC - I keep making posts that seek to describe me on a human level, but it seems like women just wanna know how tall I am and if my dong works, so here: I’m 6’4”, and yeah, it’ll do every single thing you want it to.

Incidentally, I’m also cultured, conversational, thoughtful, engaging. I have a code that I live by and a specific way I treat the people in my life and community. I have things that I want for the world and for the human species. I have fears that completely debilitate me some days. I have disappointments that seem to be always accumulating. I have things I keep in my future to spur me on, arranged on my horizon like figurines on a windowsill. I have song I want to dance to, song I imagine singing to people, songs I’ve written for myself. I have things I’m curious about that I might never investigate. I have a job that’s fine, a family that’s everything, and a work trip that’s bringing me to town. And finally, I have a 34” inseam and an 8” dong. Big fuckin deal! I don’t even care. You wanna know the truth? I’ll say it, here, on this anonymous platform. Everyone thinks having a big dick is great, but the truth is, most male performance (athletic, financial, etc.) is powered by penile insecurity. So when you find out early on that your dick is a good size (and mine isn’t enormous), yeah it’s a relief, but sometimes it chills you out too much. Sometimes you just put your feet up and wake up as a 39 year old dude to realize that your car sucks and your job doesn’t pay enough because the fire inside you was never adequately lit, because your high school girlfriend reassured you of the only thing you were ever taught to sweat.

Anyway. I’m a well-rounded, fully-formed person. But if all you care about is my dick being big, I’ll check that box. But if you’d also like to engage with the man who that dick is attached to, you also won’t be disappointed. Maybe I’m flattering myself by separating the two. Maybe what I really am is not a man with a dick attached to him, but a dick with a man attached to it. Either way, SOME part of me wants to spend time with all of you.

More about me: I’m tall, handsome, artistic, inquiring. And I am married (obviously).

More about you: I don’t care about your ethnicity, age, or body type. I just want to be with someone attractive and mature.

I hope one day to graduate from receiving messages from guys who think I'm a woman (who are then disappointed to get an answer), to receiving messages from women asking me how tall I am and if my dong works (who are then disappointed to get an answer)

33 [F4M] Houston - Houston Men, Think You Can Keep a Married Woman Interested let’s see #houston

33F, married, and a mom of two. My days are usually filled with responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a playful side that deserves some attention. 😉

I’m looking for a man who knows how to flirt, enjoys a little naughty banter, and isn’t shy about letting his imagination run wild. I miss those conversations that start innocently enough and slowly turn into something a little more tempting. Good chemistry, teasing messages, and sexting that leaves you grinning at your screen? Definitely sounds like fun to me. 🔥

I’m attracted to confidence, humor, and a man who knows how to keep a conversation alive instead of just saying “hey” and disappearing.

If you can make me laugh, keep me curious, and match my energy, we might get along better than you think.

Houston guys, what’s your flirting game like? Are you smooth with your words, or do you let your imagination do the talking? 😈

Wait...where is she from? Houston, you say? Also, I think if any of us were to let our "imaginations do the talking" we'd end up in jail. Oh...just me?

44 M San Jose/Bay Area, California: Success with a married desi woman

I am married and originally from India, been in the Bay Area for sometime. I am 5'11" tall, broad shoulders, medium build. I have a 6.3" long, thick, and veiny cock and go for multiple long hard rounds with little or no break. Yes, that is how I am at 44, and this is what she saw in my post and contacted me!

San Jose/Bay Area is very dry and not really favored towards men. But after much posting, I was contacted my a married desi woman. We talked a bit on reddit and it was clear that she was real (lots of scammer and bots here). She happened to be an executive at a tech company, looking to explore her kinky side with a bull. The day of meet, I booked a really nice hotel, we met at the lobby, talked a bit and then I politely asked her if she is comfortable going to the room with me. She wanted to and we went.

Once in room, she saw the dominating side of me, I did exactly as I promised in the post. After we are done, she said the following to me:

You are a bull

What are you made of?

You made me pass out and see stars but in a good way

As I fucked her hard, I asked her how many orgasm she had, she said that she stopped counting, my cock was long enough to push her cervix as I pounded her vigorously.

We still keep meeting but given her demanding job and the fact that her hubby doesn't know anything, it's not easy to schedule a time. I am still looking and open for potential AP.

Bold move...I would've just stuck a "references available" in there.

And that's enough for this week...until next time, stay adulterous!

Hi everyone,

Its that time!!

Vent, rant, share, talk...goes on.

I (36M) recently ran into my ex (36F) at an office event. She's been married for about a year, has no kids, and is unhappy in her marriage and planning to divorce. ( south india)

I'm single, and somehow one thing led to another. We became intimate (no sex). I know it was wrong and take full responsibility. I told her we shouldn't meet again and blocked her.

Now I'm overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety. My biggest fear is that she might confess to her husband out of guilt, and he might get angry and even try to kill me.

Her husband has never threatened or contacted me, but my mind keeps imagining the worst.

Firstly , do women hide these types of things? Am I overthinking this? Has anyone experienced similar guilt and anxiety? How did you move past it?

Sorry but i constantly feel worried about this because of guilty regret and fear. I feel so low

Genuinely curious, when you've been in a 15 year affair how do spouses not have any idea? Have been together since they'd been newly married. Both previously cheated on. We both have kids and seperate lives. I understand people can keep their affairs seperate from their marriages and daily lives butI mean after 15 years how does no one have even a question or gut feeling?

Using a throw away account, for obvious reasons.

I've been married for about a year, things were really bad before I met AP. Just before a work trip I told my SO that I was done and wanted to separate. He begged me to stay and said he would change. Sex is good, but he has major communication issues. I was firm on leaving.

Then I met AP during this work trip. Our chemistry was electric. The way he can hunt, build shit, be manly all around absolutely made me crazy. The day before the trip was ending he asked to kiss me. I declined because I felt really guilty about it. Then we eventually did hook up and everything started from there.

My SO is trying really hard to change, and I see the difference. But I lost attraction to him. I dont want to be around him, I want to be around AP.

APs marriage is also unhappy, hes thinking about leaving his wife as i am thinking about leaving my husband. But the age gap is so large, it's scary.

I got myself in a huge pickle, and im so confused on what I want. I dont want to hurt my SO, I still love him so much, im just not in love with him anymore.

Anyways I just wanted to rant!

We didn’t know what we’d one day become. It snuck up on us, but also, it didn’t. Felt natural, didn’t it, like it was meant to be.

Meant to be doesn’t always mean you’ll be together forever. It can also mean that someone was meant to enter your life, and change it during their brief visit.

I’ll never admit this, but maybe one day I’ll tell you. I hold a lot of gratitude for you. You cracked me open. Held a mirror up to me, let me see myself in a new light. Through your eyes. See all of the parts of me I buried for so long. That I tried to adapt to keep the peace. To tolerate the golden cage I didn’t know I was in. You held up a lantern and walked with me. You don’t even know you showed it all to me. I saw it all and couldn’t unsee it. Couldn’t go back to the way things were.

I see the cage now and I’m not scared. I know this isn’t where I need to be, that I’m not being loved like I deserve. That life is too short to live like this. That I can do it and that the kids will be fine. That I deserve a second chance at love, even if it’s not with you.

You have no idea. You gave me so much, and you set me free. I hope I did the same for you.

So there's this woman I work with...

LOL, I know how many posts this sub gets that start like that. This isn't one of those posts.

I met this colleague after my previous two affairs ended. As I've gotten to know her, I learned that she is directly connected to both of my exAPs!

She went to high school with exAP#1 and was in the same graduating class. I don't know if they directly see each other any more, but they both keep in contact with some of the same mutual friends.

Then, as a supervisor, I had to access our employee contact information at some point, and as I'm scanning through, an address caught my eye, first the street, then the first digits of the house number. The same coworker lives three houses down from exAP #2!

I can't believe that this person that I work closely with on a daily basis has direct links to both people that I've been involved with at this level. I know it's unlikely that anyone else would discover this connection, but it makes me wonder about all of the other ways we are interconnected and how closely our AP lives are tied to our regular lives with such a thin veil.

Have you ever stumbled on an unexpected connection linking you and your AP?

Hi, I was in a relationship with a married guy for 2 years. It made me realize the missing pieces in my own marriage and I have decided to separate. Obviously my AP did not want to leave family. I am in a no contact period with AP.
While the thought of leaving a 25 year old marriage doesn’t bother me, sadly, leaving AP does.
Anyone find themselves in this situation?

I’m a cake eater with a happy marriage and a good sex life at home.* I’ve been having affairs for about 3 years, and over the last year I’ve been in therapy to address why.

I’m not using therapy as a way to find an excuse for my behavior, I really just want to understand why I feel so drawn to these relationships outside of my marriage (besides being selfish, which I admit I am). It’s been really helpful and I’ve learned a lot about how my childhood has affected who I am, my patterns, need for validation, self worth, etc.

I feel like my situation is so different from someone in a dead bedroom or otherwise unhappy marriage. So I’m curious if any other cake eaters have been on a similar path and would be open to sharing a bit about their therapy or self awareness journey?

*Not looking for comments around “If I had regular sex with my spouse, I would never have an affair.” We know.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Not an English-speaking country citizen if it matters.

I (M30) am in a 8-year old relationship with my fiance (F29), with a child. The relationship has had ups and downs, recently more conflicts appeared and these are mostly conflicts about the same things. We kinda both grew tired and bored of it even though I think we love each other and our sex life is quite satisfying.

To set the situation straight: at the beginning of our relationship she cheated on me with ex, while I have been sometimes using apps for finding sexual partners (fetlife, datezone) while she was away. While I haven't found a partner one time 4 years ago she found out when I forgot to log out. Kinda all of these situations have been forgiven by each other. She hasn't cheated on me since, I was sometimes using apps though mostly to look at sexy photos.

Two months ago she requested me to sleep outside home for the first time. And I came back to using apps for more (thou. I have posted about looking for cuckold pair as it is one of my fantasies. To my surprise, one pair was very interested and we started chatting since 3 weeks ago. They would like to meet at neutral ground and to try me as a bull. And I feel engagement I have not felt in a long time. Of course these conversations are kept secret by me.

What would you advise me? I am seriously thinking about arranging to meet them (sometimes I have a chance while she is away). But I know it would end a relationship if revealed. And I am a kind of person that can show emotionally that something is going on and my partner can grew suspicious.

And please give me as many opsec advice as possible. I use telegram for chatting and uninstall this app every time she has a chance to see my phone. I have not seen the cuckold pair in real and have not contacted them in other forms.

I’m in love with a man I’ve never met. I’m also married to a man I love and have no intention of leaving.
My husband is a good man. I love him, admire him, find him attractive, and feel safe with him. We’ve built a good life together and he’s given me so much.
But there’s something I’ve always missed to some degree.. I don’t know how to call uf exactly, romantic attention? emotional openness? sexual excitement… that kind of stuff. I noticed it here and there over the years, but we were busy building our life, dealing with problems, responsibilities, etc. There was always something more important to take care of. And because he gave me so much in other ways, I guess I learned to live without those things..

When life finally settled down a little, I started noticing what was missing more and more. I’ve tried, and still try, to bring some of that into our marriage, but I often feel like I’m the one doing most of the work
Anyway… somewhere along the way I started exploring erotica, fantasies, things that made me feel sexually alive again… long story short I eventually I met someone online.
He’s married too. Neither of us wants to leave our spouses, and from the beginning we agreed that this would never become a physical relationship.
Well… we fell in love.
We’ve been doing this for a while now. We talk about everything, share little things about our days, sometimes, when there is an opportunity, even watch movies together from our own homes. We exchange intimate pictures and have an active sexual relationship, even though we’ve never touched each other.
And this is something that still amazes me. Sometimes when he tells me he’s kissing me softly, I swear I can feel my lips swell. When he describes touching me, my body responds. It’s crazy how real it can feel.
There’s also the attention, the affection, the good mornings and good nights, the feeling of being wanted. We talk openly about sex, what we like, what doesn’t work, what we want to try. He’s curious, willing to listen and explore. And I love that. But our relationship isn’t just about sex. We’ve also become very close emotionally.
Now, I’m not naive. I know that the biggest part of this is fantasy.
We don’t have to deal with everyday life together, and I can already see differences that would drive me nuts if we did. Even sexually, there are things I overlook, and I suspect he does the same. We both make little edits in our heads that help keep the fantasy going.

The strange thing is that this affair has actually taken some pressure off my marriage. I’m not constantly expecting my husband to give me something that doesn’t come naturally to him. And sometimes all that sexual excitement carries over into my marriage too.
But then there are the other parts…
When I feel disconnected from my husband, I often reach for my phone and look for my online friend.
I want him to be happy with his wife. I really do. I’ve encouraged him to spend time with her, work on their relationship, even consider counseling. But sometimes he’ll mention something they’re doing together and suddenly reality crashes into my little fantasy. And I feel jealous. Which makes no sense, considering I don’t want him to leave her!
And yes, there’s guilt. Sometimes a lot of it. I think about how hurt my husband would be if he knew. Other times, especially when I’m feeling lonely or frustrated in my marriage, I don’t feel nearly as guilty. I know that’s not great, but it’s true.
And even though we’ve agreed never to meet, sometimes I catch myself thinking… what if? I don’t plan to act on it, but those thoughts happen.
I also worry about losing him. What if something happened to him? What if one day he just couldn’t contact me? I care about this man and his life, his family, everything. Yet we’re not really part of each other’s real worlds.
Anyway, I guess I’m sharing all this because I’d really like to hear from people who’ve experienced something similar.
Don’t worry about judging my behavior. I already do that.
I just want to hear your stories. What was it like for you?
I appreciate you reading this.

EDIT: I’m not really looking for advice… just experiences from people who’ve had similar, long-termvirtual affairs and how they feel about it. It is lonely being in this position and I understand it’s the price I must pay. However, it would be nice to connect with others in same journey

I'm just entering the stage of finding an AP. When we discuss logistics of meeting, the biggest issue is that my family uses Life360 (Android). I've searched for new, updated, information on workarounds, but I'm not finding any information within the last year. Can anyone help?

I (32F) am in my first affair with AP (58M). My husband and I have had a very rocky marriage, and I honestly don’t know that we can ever actually fix it. I won’t say that I have never thought of finding someone outside of my marriage, but I will say in that moment of meeting, I wasn’t actively searching for someone.

Now, I’m playing this very close to home. We’re neighbors. Like literally live across the highway from each other. It started one day back in May when I had my two toddlers outside playing and he had just gotten home and stopped to check the mail. I saw the hesitation right before he ran across the street to my driveway. We had only ever briefly talked once prior. He introduced himself and there was that spark when he took my hand. He was the one who reacted to it before I ever said or acknowledged anything.

Our chemistry is incredible and we have started to explore dynamics. I love being his little girl and submissive dirty slut. He’s meeting so many needs for me and I know I am for him too. I’m working on getting over the nervousness of dirty talk in person to him. It’s a me thing, not him. I’m scared of saying the wrong thing or being embarrassed by him, even though he has only ever been supportive, respectful, and kind. It’s just the carry over from my marriage. So, tips welcome on becoming more comfortable with saying the words!

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. I’m a little scatterbrained and hoping that all somewhat made sense.

So I posted a very detailed ad on r/affairs. Of course, I got a ton of responses. Now for the task of seeing who makes the cut. The easy part is deleting all the boys who can't read or talk about their dick, then the photo swap, I do this early on to see if they are even interested in my looks and vice versa. Those who survive get moved to alternate platforms.
What are your requirements and deal breakers you discuss straight off the bat?

Question, if you or your AP is on vacation with your respective families, do you still text with them or expect them to text with you while gone?

AP and I were in a long distance relationship for multiple years. We are both married with kids. The first year we saw each other 2 or 3 times but after that we made a concerted effort to see each other as much as possible. The last few years we have been together every other month and texted a couple times a week. We told each other we loved each other once. Even though we didn’t say it much, it was apparent in how we treated each other.

AP recently divorced. It wasn’t AP’s choice. I don’t know much about it other than AP’s spouse wasn’t happy and is the one who drove it. According to AP, the spouse never found out about us. I wasn’t excited about it and considered ending the relationship at that point. However, for a variety of reasons I decided to continue.

When we were together last week AP was off. I tried to talk about it but AP brushed it off and asked for sex. I reiterated that I wanted to talk and AP went out to the bar until late. The next day AP acted like everything was normal and asked for sex. When I said I needed to talk AP again brushed it off and went to the bar until 3 AM. I was asleep when AP got back. I texted him when I left for the airport to call me when he woke up. It’s been 6 days and nothing.

I truly care deeply for AP and appreciate the time we spent together. I tried to talk to AP to no avail. I know I could have fought harder for us but so could have AP. My marriage is emotional draining and so much work already. Truthfully, as disappointed as I am, it’s a relief.

We were together just under a year.

And I’m angry and relieved they ended it.

Mainly angry.

I should’ve let it end last year, right before Christmas when their spouse first found out. It would’ve kept things easier. Stable. My own spouse found out this last summer - but wanted to stay and make it work even though I said I wasn’t sure and that I wasn’t going to end it.

The crazy part of me wants to lash out and hurt them. I have the ability and the lack of care to make it incredibly painful and blow everything up.

The more rational part is saying chill out - maybe staying with my spouse is what I should do and just let the whole thing go and recommit to being resentfully content in my marriage.

But. I still miss them. And I worry that I’ll take them back if they asked.

How do you guys make time to meet? I think my biggest struggle atm is finding someone that has the same availability as me. Aside from the hundreds of rejections, the people that do seem interested have regular 9-5 jobs, as most of us do. However, thats the only time I'm available, as in the evenings I can't just get up and leave without the wife wondering or asking questions. My job is fairly flexible, so day meets are the easiest for me.

Any advice for this?