My 32F boyfriend 34M and I picked up keys to our apartment and then I woke up to him having sex with me.

We just picked up keys to a beautiful apartment. Together for 2 years. Things have been stressful lately due to a new position my boyfriend has working outdoors in the heat physical labor and also being mentally tested.

I’ve been supportive, making our dinners, getting groceries, prepping his food for work, and of course understanding of us spending less time together. We always go to bed together at his apartment.

He left work excited to go get the keys, I mentioned the ritual of eating pizza on the floor so that was the plan. I’ve been the one organizing the entire move, lease process, packing all my things - he doesn’t have a clear plan on moving his stuff but he has more time there. I spent the whole day in full moving mode and was tired.

We do the ritual, I run through what I’m thinking for the place, I give him a card to commemorate and he says he is so excited to spend the rest of his life with me.

When we get back and are relaxing I offer a blowjob. I do very frequently - but his sex drive has been low lately due to work and new medication. He declines, I don’t press further.

We fall asleep early and at around 10pm I feel some movement but am in a pretty deep sleep. Then I open my eyes and think I’m dreaming as I see my boyfriend has entered me and is lightly panting.

I immediately moved away and called him out. He immediately apologizes. He keeps starting sentences like “I don’t want to defend it but…” at one point he says he woke up aroused and wanted to have sex. Eventually I turn to being emotional and go to the restroom. After a cry anger entered the chat. I told him he had raped me. How could he disrespect me given all that I’ve been doing for him. He declined consensual sex earlier. This makes him angry. He says “so go call the cops then” and it hurt so much I said back “I will” and pulled out my phone. I wouldn’t do that. Then he starts telling me we aren’t moving in - and yells in my face 4x times I CANT TRUST YOU. He says I am ready to ruin his life.

This escalated a lot. I was in a period of processing and reacting to my feelings. He was apologetic and wanting to reconnect but eventually feels like he found something to throw back at me and the shame had him destruct the relationship to gain back power.

I’m in a panic. I lose my apartment in 2 days. I’ve gotten rid of 50% of my things. My apartment is desolate. I can’t afford this rent on my own.

Context as well - we have had instances he wakes up and starts to masterbate and guides my hand down and I’ve not had issues with that because I’ll have awoken and totally feel free to consent or not. But this felt different.

TLDR we’re supposed to move in and my boyfriend had sex with me as I slept.

I 37/F live in a very small town, population 1,200, and got out of a serious relationship back in July. I have several close female friends, but I prefer spending my time with my two guy friends. We’ll call them Eric and James. They were best friends before I met them about two years ago. I just loooove being around them. I think they are both super attractive and I have so much fun when the three of us are together.

I spend more time with Eric because we are neighbors, we hang out just about every day at some capacity. James travels for work so he pops in/out. Last night the three of us went to the hot springs, and this morning Eric and I went for a mountain bike ride/coffee. It honestly feels like I’m already dating Eric, but we’ve never done anything intimate. The three of us are talking about going to Thailand together in the spring, obviously looove this idea, dream scenario. They joked saying “what do you think everyone will think about you traveling with your two boyfriends?”. I also make jokes about dating them.

However, I know nothing will ever happen between any of us. Eric is happy being single, plus he already has most the benefits of having a girlfriend because we do everything together. And James is also taking a break from dating because he still has feelings for his ex. It still feels good to dream about it though. I love them both and feel the most happy when we are all together.

At 58 years of age I finally had reached my limit with being disrespected by my husband of 38 years and I left his ass. My two daughters were grown in their 30's and they KNEW their father. Truth was they had always disrespected me too as he encouraged it and set the example. He did not abuse them. I wanted to leave many times but he threatened me that if I left that he would do whatever it took and say whatever it took to make sure I never saw them again. So I believed him.

At the outset they seemed understanding but yes they were hurt. As time went on and he was able to construct more lies, they spun a narrative different than what happened. I did end up in a relationship that was a safe refuge and for that I am not sorry.

And now, I have had to stand up, diplomatically of course, to my best friend. She does not like that. It seems when I was an insecure doormat it was all good. Let me get a backbone and they all leave. At least now I know who I can truly count on.

I had been having a bad gut feeling about my girlfriend. I finally decided to go through her phone last night.

Checked around, and yeah best spot to check is best friends messages.

Find a long voice note to her friends about how she’s been thinking about all these dudes she’d hooked up with in her past, her “roster”, and described herself as a “maneater.” A short story about hooking up with one guy all day, lying to that guy to go leave and hook up with another guy. Gist of the first part of the message. I could almost be fine with being that promiscuous, but the end of the voice note was basically “maybe I should just turn back into a maneater because I never felt guilty doing that.” Maneater in this context just meaning fucking lots of dudes/using them.

I’ve never made her feel guilty about her having a past, I have one too. On paper, good girlfriend stuck with me through a lot. I’ve only ever gotten upset when she would brush off snapchatting guys she used to hook up with she called a “friend.” I never have had any red handed moments where she was obviously cheating, but I’ve know her almost 2 years and she’s smart + deletes + hides things on her phone for sure.

Now I can’t tell if I’m being “insecure”? I am insecure, but my fear of cheating is about being burned in terms of trust rather than oh no she thinks other dudes are attractive. As of now, it feels easy to imagine that a) I will eventually get cheated on or b) I’ve already been cheated on just was hidden well.

I am sick to my stomach, and this feels like a gross thing to say while in a relationship. I have never once said anything remotely close to this to my closest friends or even anonymously and I too have a promiscuous past.

Update: well I confronted her about it. Immediately jsut turned into me having the audacity to look at her phone, and never acknowledging what was actually said and seen on there. Just anger towards me and denial with the claim she’s never lied to me. This hurts like hell and makes my head spin, but it has to happen.

I'm not trying to hear all that "size doesn't matter" I've heard it so many times and I've also heard women who have said this in the past talk about how when they actually had a big dick with an experienced guy that it brought them overwhelming pleasure and that they can't go back to smaller sizes. I know this isn't every woman but I'm convinced that those who think size doesn't matter would change their mind if they had sex with a guy with a big dick who knew what he was doing. As a man it's a hit to the self esteem knowing you'd never be able to bring a woman that kind of pleasure and it feels emasculating.

I'm 42 and left my wife a year ago, after a miserable, lonely marriage. I was so proud of myself for finally leaving, finally realizing just how bad it was and taking the leap.

It's been awful since. Dealing with my ex through the separation agreement when she would take weeks to respond. Demand I move out asap because she couldn't deal with it. Demanding that I take almost no money, give her the house, not count the vehicles we had and so much more. To the point where I told my lawyer and he laughed at what she said.

Still, I was the good one. I took less money than I was owed in an effort to keep the house for the kids even if it was in her name. It was close to the school and friends. I did what a good dad should.

I took less. Gave up a lot. All for them.

Now a year after leaving her (which preceeded two years of me knowing it was inevitable and finding the courage to do it), there's so much anger.

It was my birthday last weekend. I didn't have the boys. She couldn't send a message from them. They're still young. I couldn't even get a 10 second video of them saying happy birthday.

I did get one the next day, with an apology that things had been 'chaotic' and she didn't have time. Even though I could see my oldest son on discord playing Roblox for a couple of hours. I doubt any part of it was chaotic except for Thanksgiving dinner in the evening, but all I needed was 10 seconds. 10 seconds of them saying Happy Birthday was all it would have taken for me to be okay.

Instead I got more of what I always got. Birthday after birthday, fathers day after fathers day for 15 years where I was near forgotten. Where I could barely get a homemade card from my kids. Never asked what I would like to do. Instead dragged to my in-laws like I was every single sunday where I had the privilage of barbecuing my own birthday dinner just like I did every single sunday.

I broke down every few months and told my ex all this. Broke down sobbing, saying I didn't feel loved. That I needed affection and love. Nothing ever changed for more than 24 hours.

Her birthday is in a week on Sunday. It's my time with the boys. I could be an asshole just like her and not send a message, not have them do anything but no, because I'm a good parent I'm willing to drop them off and lose time with them so she can have a better birthday. Even though I couldn't be respected enough to get a single ten second video.

I left her and she's angry. There's so much anger and it's getting to me. I've moved on. Met a beautiful, loving person but it's long distance for now and the distance is breaking my heart too. I'm missing her so much in between visits. Missing my kids when I don't have custody.

I'm a mess. I'm trying to let go of the anger but it feels like I'm trying to calm down someone that keeps hitting me and all I can do is smile and take it because I know I'm going to be happy and she isn't.

I just needed to vent because I can't stop crying tonight. I miss my girlfriend. I miss my boys. I feel incredibly alone today.

I can't get any doctor to take me seriously. I've almost given up. It's been five years of this. Two years ago it's like this scale appeared inside me and I knew death was coming. Now I think I have a year or a year and a half left. Everyone I try to talk to about this brushes me off but I'm completely serious. I expect all of you to brush me off as well. But it's something my bones know. A sense that something is very wrong and maybe even irreversibly so at this point.

I have an appointment on Monday that I'm planning to beg at. I'm afraid. I'm lonely. It's lonely to know this and not be taken seriously. Like I'm Cassandra screaming.

That’s it. It’s been six years. Wow. So many things have happened since then.

Edit: thanks everyone for the nice comments!

Genuinely gonna cry lol. I’m 26f, and I’m an aspiring actress. I decided to start making vlogs and cooking videos so I could stay practicing on camera and being creative when I wasn’t getting much acting work.

My account isn’t huge, but I do get around 10k views per video and hit 25k followers recently so was really excited.

I didn’t think any of them saw my videos because none of them like or comment on anything, but they follow me.

One of my friends, who didn’t respond to them when they were making fun of me showed me the groupchat and they were just kind of making fun of me for “trying to be an influencer” and saying it was embarrassing and I was trying “way too hard”

I’m not even trying to be an influencer, I was just having fun.

I’m not going to stop it’s just making me sad lol… like damn why would you send it in a group chat and waste time making fun of me for having fun

My girlfriend works with this guy. Every time they pass each other they smile amd say hello, but i notice he never talks to anyone else, from what i can tell. She told me he's into salsa. Then she said he came up to her car the other day and they were talking about music and dancing not dancing together, but i guess their hobbies. And now she's out thrift shopping for cowboy boots during her weekly thrift store runs, because he asked her to pick up a pair and he'll pay her back.

I asked her why she's picking up shoes for some other man and she didn't really have an answer, other then " well im always out thrifti g, and he wanted cowboy boots." just don't like it. I've caught her chatting up some guy and then hiding the messages from me before so my trust is already shot, and this feels like it's building toward something. Am I being a dickhead for thinking this is borderline not cool, or am I just paranoid?

I feel weird even typing this out but I’d much rather type it out then say it out loud. Recently my (19f) things have been going missing from my room, my hair oil , my hair serum, my moisturizer, lotion, my shirts. And while my brother (13) is sleeping over his friends house today I wanted to look for my moisturizer. I remembered seeing it next to his colognes so I looked for it but didn’t find it. Unfortunately I really like this moisturizer and it’s expensive so I wanted my stuff back. I went through one of his drawers and saw my lotion, coconut oil and said moisturizer in the drawer with a playboy magazine and what I assume to be a pair or two of his underwear ( I am not touching that to find out). His drawer is right next to his closet and I stood up and I saw on one of the shelves my hair oil. And in front of it was a Pringles container, I had reached behind it for my hair serum and the container fell onto the ground and I went to grab it then I seen what I assume to be a homemade pocket p, and it was obviously used. I know he’s a “growing boy” but if i was him I wouldn’t be using my sisters belongings to pleasure myself. I don’t really know what to do, or how to handle it.

I run a small business, and I have many regulars that I've gotten to know and have a great, friendly relationship with. This happened to me last night when a regular of mine stopped in just to say hi since he hadn't come in for a few weeks. We were having a nice, light conversation when he proceeded to ask if I was single and then asked me out. Mind you, this was completely out of nowhere because our conversation had nothing to do with dating.

For context, I'm 26, and he's around 35 years old. We've known each other since I was 22 because he's been a customer for that long, and I even know his brother.

When he asked me out, I declined, telling him that I do not date, especially after having gotten out of a long-term relationship. He kept insisting, complimenting me, and saying that I "deserved a mature man who could take care of me." With every comment he made, the more I felt physically ill. I genuinely felt like throwing up throughout and after the interaction. To me, this stems from a place of betrayal because I never would have believed he saw me this way. Just thinking about him seeing me in a romantic or even sexual way makes me sick. And it's even worse because he's known me since I was a very young adult. I find it disgusting that someone 10 years older than me would find me attractive, and I find it even worse that he's someone I've known for a long time and believed he was a cool person/customer. And I hate to think that he perceived my hospitality and warmth as flirting because it makes me want to stop being nice to my customers for fear that another man will take it the wrong way.

It feels like men have a genuine hatred for me. That I’m seen as some kind of freak show because I’m not large-chested like other women. Even my partner prefers curvier women and says the only reason he likes my small chest is because no other men will ever look at me. My own mother told me that the only men who will ever date me will be predators who are attracted to me because I’m ‘childlike.’ I don’t dress in a childish way, I don’t act childishly. It’s just because I have a smaller chest. And all I ever see online about this is people saying that if you find smaller-chested women attractive, you must be attracted to little kids. Meanwhile these same people will look at images of ‘developed’ young teenage girls and say that somehow the size of their bust implies consent. Our whole consent culture just relies on whether or not guys think your breast size is acceptable. So beyond the fact that I’m looked at like a freak, people also think that anyone who would ever want me for my body is also a disgusting creep who should be in prison.

I know my problems aren’t huge and that I should be grateful for no back pain and all, but it feels like a huge part of being a woman is denied to me. The idea of ever being seen as attractive or even as an adult is completely disgusting to other people. I’ve never had male attention aside from my partner, who reached out to me because I was incredibly isolated, even in real life boys used to avoid talking to or doing projects with me in college. They acted as if I weren’t there, while they’d talk happily to girls with larger or even medium chests, even in a friendly way. I don’t expect attention or anything, but it seems to be a fundamental thing for all ‘normal’ women to experience. I’m an outsider. It’s also harder for me to make friendships because while other women are out being asked for nudes or dating a large pool of guys, even dressing up and being able to be seen as attractive, I’m sort of just here in my own corner, unable to relate. I feel like an alien.

I’ve considered surgery, but even if it was affordable to me, I would most likely be outcast and mocked if anyone ever found out about it. I just feel like I’m seen as a child, even now that I’m an adult. I don’t want to be popular or loved by all, just seen as normal

I went on a first date with a woman that I met at mutual friend's party. The date was fine, we hit it off and she invited me back to her place. I asked her on the way to her place if she had condoms and she said yes. We go to her place, and she starts telling me she's embarrassed about the state of her room. She tells me that we need to be quiet because her roommates are sleeping. Once in her apartment, she spends about 3 minutes in her room while I was sitting in the living room, she says to clean it. She comes out with just her underwear on and tells me to come into her bedroom. At this point I'm a little weirded out.

We start to hook up, and I ask her where her condoms are. She says she doesn't have any, but it's fine. I tell her I want to use condoms and could just pick them up at the deli around the corner. I leave in just my tshirt and jeans, leaving my jacket with my keys in her room, knowing I'd be right back. She told me to call her when I get back so she can open for me. I close the door behind me to her room, because she's just in her underwear.

When I get back to the apartment, I call, no answer. So eventually I start buzzing up. No answer. After 15 minutes of calling and buzzing up, freezing in my tshirt, a neighbor walks out of the building and I walk into the lobby. At this point I just want to get my keys to go home. It's like 2:30 AM and I am freaked out, thinking that maybe she fell asleep or something. I get to her apartment door and lightly knock, knowing that the roommates are asleep. No answer. I knock, and knock, and knock- until I start to bang on the door LOUD. I just want to get my things, and don't know what else to do. No answer. I think to myself, what would I do if I was in a movie? and check under the mat. Sure enough, there is a key there. I open the apartment door, and at this point I'm freaked out. I notice that her bedroom door, which I had left closed, is wide open. I am absolutely terrified as I walk into her bedroom, which is fully lit with the overhead light. She is completely naked and lying starfished and still on the bed, eyes closed. I pick up my things, and I say, "hey, I'm just going to go." She doesn't answer. I see her breathing so I know she's not dead. I say again, louder, "I'm going to go now" and touch her hand. She does not react. I squeeze her hand while I say IM GOING TO GO NOW OK? She does not react. I move the bed a little bit, I truly do not know what to make of this and am so terrified. She DOES NOT REACT. So I leave.

To this day, I do not understand what occurred. What do you think? I can't understand what was going through her mind. She was definitely not sleeping when she laying like a starfish. We did not get drunk.

Posting on my girlfriend's account. (Edit: This story is from when I was single!!! My girlfriend found this story so outrageous that she told me to post it on Reddit.)

That's pretty much the post. I am three years out of an abusive relationship. I spent this time in therapy, focusing on myself, and reconnecting with friends and family. (I had a short lived FWB thing a year ago but they moved away.)

This summer I decided I was far enough along in my healing journey to try seriously dating again. I redownloaded all the apps and after all this time... I don't remember ghosting being this common! Everyone I talk to decides to ghost right before our first date... Like literally the day before we arranged to meetup for coffee.

I swear I am about to fucking crashout.

I grew up really rough. Dysfunctional family + trauma + spending years in and out of courtrooms for crimes committed against me. It was dark. Became a young mom at 19 and then lost my mom at 21. I struggled with drinking. I worked up to 3 jobs to make ends meet while I worked my way up in my career. Sometimes we had to overdraft to pay the rent. Never had enough money. I was in a toxic relationship from 22-30 and we had gotten married.

At 29, I got sober. I lost all my friends. Then I got laid off. Then my best friend and husband had an affair. At 30, I got divorced. I was so lost. I moved into an apartment with just me and my kid. On nights where my kid was at her dad’s. I felt so alone and so in fear of the future. I felt I lost everything.

Little by little, some amazing shit happened.

I found a job - a WAY better job that paid 25% more per year with earning potential increased by a ton with flexibility and leadership and work life balance. It turned out being a PERFECT fit and get to do amazing things not only because of the perks of the company but because I now earn enough and can take time off to do pretty much anything I desire

I started going out alone and discovered who I truly am. I started with going to lunch by myself all the way up to going to multi-day music festivals and even solo international vacations.

My kid and my relationship changed a ton. We were already close but we became literally best friends. They are now a teenager and they tell me literally everything and we have a blast together. We have visited 3 other countries together and will do two more next year and it is an absolute GIFT to have the privilege of seeing the world with my offspring.

I am learning new things like dirt biking and snowboarding. I got into the EDM music scene and I swing dance regularly and am getting pretty good at it.

I started making new friends and I have started to connect to way better people.

My relationship with love is different. I’ve had a few short term boyfriends since the divorce. I’ve been with my boyfriend now for six months. I’m able to have fun and feel love without needing them to be qualified to be a life partner. I’ve had some incredible times with truly good men and have now learned that goodbye does not have to be chaotic or depressing. It can simply be a thank you so much for what we shared and good luck on your life’s travel.

Life has been insanely FUN. After feeling like you’ve lost everything, you’re actually free to do anything. Detachment from people allows me to cherish the connections for what they are right now and knowing it can be special even if it is temporary. I have had experiences that make me feel like if I die tomorrow, I’ve had the privilege of doing some REALLY COOL SHIT. I’ve hiked a volcano and skinny dipped in hot springs in Costa Rica. I’ve stood under 300ft waterfalls in the PNW. I’ve seen the BLUEST lakes you’ll ever see in Alberta. I saw incredible architecture in Paris. I’ve seen the best concert of my life at Red Rocks. I’ve dirt biked through the mountains. Ive stood under skyscrapers in NYC. I’ve partied my ass off in Las Vegas. I’ve body surfed at a private beachfront in Hawaii. I’ve been to Coachella. I’ve seen wildlife in its natural environment. I’ve jumped off of cliffs into beautiful rivers. I’ve done various road trips all over, Oregon, Colorado, Utah, Washington, Nevada, Arizona, British Columbia, and Alberta. I’ve had the privilege of traveling all over my beautiful home state of California and it’s the one of the most beautiful and coolest places in the world. I’ve screamed my favorite song by an incredible DJ with 10,000 other people in the amazing rave scene in San Francisco. I’ve been to amazing museums and have seen great musicals and other concerts. I’ve been in a mosh pit and have crowd surfed and got shoulder rides. I’ve had mushroom trips where I giggled all night and felt enlightenment like you wouldn’t believe. Ive been on a TV commercial. I’ve been on a cruise. I’ve danced on a rooftop till sunrise. I’ve jet ski’d and been on boats. I’ve gone paragliding. It has been an absolutely incredible adventure and I am only 33.

I cannot wait to live more life.

TLDR: Life was hard and overall I felt I lost everything except my kid and my car and it gave me the FREEDOM to discover myself and live my absolute best life ever and feel incredibly alive

This is just a vent/rant, I just needed it out. Sorry for any typos, I'm a bit shaky and just wrote this in a stream of thought. Idk if I want advice, not much I can do until I move out and it's not an option rn. I just... want someone to listen to me that won't tell me it'll get better as he matures and grows up. He's 23, it's a bit late for that. Anyway, rant:

I'm incredibly mad at my parents, I want to lash out and hurt them like they're hurting me but i just can't. every time i want to say something, tell them the harsh truths and just lay everything out i cant, because i already have before, and it has done nothing.

My "brother" (from now on G, because i gag every time I have to call him "brother") is psicologically and emotionally abusive. He's a master manipulator and gaslighter with a narcicistic screak a km wide and a victim complex that my mother eats up. That's her baby boy, her prince, even when he does the same to her that he does to me. I've been trying to get him out of my life since I was 15 years old, or at least limit how much I had to have him in my life as much as I could at that time.

Last year I said enough, and went no contact. It was the best year I've had since I was 13. My anxiety practically dissipated, I lost weight, I rediscovered my passion for writing and painting. But during the summer, on a vacation to see my grandparents, he spent the entire week psychologically torturing me, and as always my mother didn't see a thing. The last straw: he started verbally assaulting me in front of her, and she did nothing. NOTHING. Just told me to answer him, he was speaking to me, even after I reminded her she agreed to deal with him, to finally start protecting me from him. Her husband had to intervene, and only then he left me alone, because G doesn't have the balls to actually confront anyone. But the harm was done: he now has confirmation that he can do anything to me, and she won't do shit.

I crashed out at her later, had a panic attack in front of her and everything, and she agreed that I'd never have to see him again. Promised me that she saw now (after her husband took my side, that this was not okay, that her precious angel abused me in front of her and she just let it happen).It didn't last a fucking month. And in comes dad, who so far has done pretty well protecting me (especially because G doesn't have the balls to pull his shit in front of him and knows my father will protect me, unlike my mother).

But because he's never actually seen G at his worst, he thinks I'm exaggerating, and my mother obviously downplays the abuse both she and I suffer. So he thinks the situation is salvageable, no matter how many times I tell him that I just want G out of my life. So now I'm forced to interact with G whenever he desires it, and I just have to take it. Rules were established, rules he broke not even a week into the agreement.

I've spent today trapped inside my room, leaving only for the bathroom. My mother left me alone with him (something she, again, promised she'd never do after he tried to force his way into my room last time she abandoned me with him) with zero warning, literally told me she was going to leave as she was grabbing the keys, and I wasn't able to stop panicking and shaking until I wedged my desk against my door, braced on my bed, so there would be no way of getting inside. I haven't eaten in two days, I can't sleep, I can't breathe. I keep having to take deep breaths over the tightness of my chest, because I feel like I'm drowning. I haven't slept well in almost a week, already stressed about having to cohabit with him again. My stomach is cramping from lack of food, but I just can't get anything down. Everything hurts from being tense all the time, I'm overstimulated and overwhelmed from the constant hyper-vigilance.

I just want this to stop. I want to feel safe in my own home. I want my parents to respect my decisions, limits and boundaries, to stop putting my mental health on the line because they don't want to deal with the monster they created. I just want them to protect me.

It's my birthday today. Turned fourteen just fourteen minutes ago, I feel nothing. It's just another 24 hours. Idk man. I'm no longer 13. gosh idk what im supposed to feel. nobody wished. It kinda sucks.

I know it’s stupid, penis size isn’t the measure of the man. Thinks like kindness, consideration, personality, etc etc are more important.

But the thing is, I’ve got all that. For me, personality is the easiest part of the equation. I’m nice, funny, kind, and good w conversation.

I’m also not that insecure about my looks. Sure I’m not tall at 5’8 but I’m not short. My face is fine. I do need to lose some weight, I’m 175lb, aiming for 140lb maybe a little less. I’m also working on putting some muscle on.

But I just don’t feel like a man at all. It’s like average guys have some part of themselves that make them men and I’m missing it.

It’s weird because technically I’m not even small, just really skinny. My length is 5.4-5.6, which is fine. It’s my girth which is 3.75in at the top, head is smaller, and midshaft like 4.1-4.25. So really skinny, bottom 1% of men.

Like I know my length is decent, but my penis is so skinny it’s really embarrassing. It barely gets bigger from flaccid. Flaccid it’s like 3.5in girth so only .25 growth so weird.

It sucks cuz I haven’t dated at all because of this. I’m 22 and never kissed let alone sex. I hope I thicken up by losing weight and getting fit, or just grow.

Sorry if this is a bit long,but I’ve had these thoughts on my mind for a while.

I think I’m incapable of expressing my thoughts and feelings, not necessarily because I have nothing to say, but because I don’t really know how to say it, or sometimes even how to understand what I feel in the first place. There are so many things going on inside my head that I can barely make sense of them myself, let alone put them into words for someone else to understand.
I think my past relationship has something to do with it, too. The trauma it left me with made something that was already difficult for me even harder. It made me more afraid of expressing what I feel, of being misunderstood, and of letting someone see too much of what goes on inside me. Sometimes, it feels as though I’ve learned to keep things to myself, not because I want to, but because a part of me is afraid of what might happen if I don’t. It’s strange how an experience can leave you questioning not only other people, but also yourself and your ability to communicate what you feel.
I always end up thinking about this quote by Fyodor Dostoevsky:
“I have so much to say to you that I’m afraid I shall tell you nothing.”
And I think that’s exactly it. I have so much to say, so much to explain, so much I wish people could understand about me, but when the moment comes, the words never seem to be enough. Sometimes, I know what I want to say but can’t find the right words. Other times, I don’t even understand what I’m feeling; I just know there’s something inside me that needs to come out.
I write better than I speak, and I think better than I write. My thoughts seem so much clearer in my head, so much more meaningful, until I try to put them into words. Then, somehow, they lose their depth or the feeling that made them so important to me in the first place.
It’s as if there’s a whole world inside me that I can visit but can never fully show to anyone else. And perhaps that’s what frustrates me the most: knowing that I feel things deeply, that there’s so much going on inside me, yet not knowing how to make any of it understandable to someone else.
Sometimes, I wonder if people really know me, or if they only know the version of me that I’m capable of expressing. I wonder if they mistake my silence for not caring, when sometimes it means the exact opposite. Maybe what happened in my past relationship made me even more afraid of being vulnerable, of letting someone see the parts of me that I don’t fully understand myself.
And maybe that’s what makes it so difficult: wanting to be understood while simultaneously being afraid of what it means to let someone know me.
Maybe I’m not incapable of expressing myself. Maybe I’m still learning how to translate everything that exists within me into something the outside world can understand. Maybe a part of me is still trying to protect itself from getting hurt again, even when all I really want is to be understood.
But until I learn how to do that, I’m afraid that some of the most important parts of me will remain things I think about, things I feel, things I write about, but never quite manage to say.

Self explanatory. I hallucinate sometimes. Minor shit like whispering or flashes of color, or sometimes something a little more elaborate like floating objects-leaves or mist. I also get scent ones which I actually quite like compared to the other ones which make me anxious. Usually the smell of something metallic burning or something chemical like chlorine. I have no history of delusion, disorganized speech or thought, or any other symptoms of schizophrenia and my condition hasn’t worsened at all. I worry a lot about it getting worse though. I know I should tell a professional about it but i’m scared to. I’m telling a therapist on tuesday anyway. I don’t feel crazy it really feels more like an inconvenience at this point. Perception is real weird. Fickle. I don’t know how to view myself anymore in relation to it

I was put on 3 mg on aripiprazole (Abilify) a little over 2 weeks ago for depression. It was working fine, then they decided to put me on 6 mg a week ago which caused horrible side effects. I couldn't stay still without feeling like I was going crazy, I would have panic attacks, stuff like that. a couple days ago they lowered my dose and gave me xanax for my panic attacks but I'm scared. I see my doctor again in 2 weeks and idk if I can tolerate this for 2 more weeks. I feel absolutely awful. But on the bright side, my depression is nearly gone. But on the less bright side, this feels worse than depression. I just need to tolerate the next 2 weeks because I feel like I'm going crazy. idek why I'm writing this here I just am going insane I swear.

TW : Light mentions of rape and assault

I (23f) was clubbing last night after my bar shift because I like partying and have had a tough couple of weeks. (Breakup and an overwhelming amount of work)

I stayed until the closing hour, enjoyed my night cause I met people that knew me through this club. But then came the closing of the doors. Where I was alone again. And drunk.

I saw a man sitting, alone, in the dark and the cold of the morning. I tend to be a little too nice sometimes and so naturally, I approached him, asked him if he was okay, and he told me about his arrival from his home country to here (I live in Switzerland btw) and that he did not have a place to sleep this night/morning (it was almost 7am). We chatted for 10 mins, and we headed to a road nearby to find him a cab or someone that could help him.

That's where he met a friend and spoke to him in his language and then told me "follow me" and started going in the opposite direction. I followed him and said that the road was the other way and then he headed to a very dark area. And told me to go with him and I clearly said no. He started forcing me by repeating "no come please" and then my fight or flight response kicked in. I told him no I won't come and started going towards the road.

To my luck a cab stopped next to me (they come here regularly since it's one of the only three night clubs in the city I was in). And I jumped in, despite having not enough money, but I needed to flee, now. I explained the situation to the cab driver, thanked him and he still asked me to pay when we arrived at my house and almost locked me in the cab until I had the money.

I apologized for not being able to pay and asked him how I could help the situation, he said I could do nothing and said that I was rude and irresponsible for not being able to pay. He eventually let me out, but told me to pay him by this evening or he'll be obligated to take legal action. I eventually venmoed him this afternoon, and he thanked me for my sense of responsibility.

I didn't think much of it, maybe because I was shocked and hungover but then I came to the realization that everything could have happened in that dark alley. Whether it was rape, assault, or mugging, it was likely not well intended.

Nobody knows. Not even my mom. And I'm still too scared and ashamed to tell her, or any of my friends.

I already see the obvious question : why was i alone, as a woman, in a club, in the middle of the night. That's because i started transitioning a month ago and was already partying and never came to a situation like this, presenting as a male.

Now that I'm fem presenting, I'm also more prone to assault and misogyny, hate crimes, and all the latter. I didn't calculate the odds of that happening to me.

I'm having panic attacks just thinking about everything that happened and could've happened. I am now safe at home, but won't feel safe for a while I think.

I feel irresponsible, ashamed, confused, scared. Every negative emotion at once. And I'm still processing it. I headed to this sub because I needed to get it off my chest.

Thank you for reading.

I have a crush on someone. Someone impossible that I cannot possibly have a crush on. She's sweet, her laugh is amazing. She's passionate, wonderful and she makes me feel safe enough to sleep comfortably, OFTEN. I'm so scared, and I know I need to confront it head on. I just can't. I mean to say I don't know if I can. I want to, but how do I? Do I just blurt out "HEY I LIKE YOU" too obvious right? I've spent days on end just talking to her and I feel stupid even writing this. I'm hurting from hiding it, but I'm afraid of the hurt if I'm wrong. Need advice ASAP please. Want to tell her tonight or forever hold my peace

I had this online friend named void (not her real name. her real name is arabic) from slovenia and i went by the name Nova in 2022. I was 12 at that point and i don't even know her age. I know she was born 28 of December, loved gacha and made her own videos, played roblox alot and was really into dsmp. (her favourite was fundy). Her eye bled because of some guy in the 5th grade.I know she had a sibling because on 14 November 2022 her sibling texted me telling me void ran away from home. 24 november void texted me again telling me she was deleting the app we used to contact each other so she doesnt get tracked. Wherever she is now i hope shes okay and safe.

Void if you ever see this, i still worry about you till this day. i hope you're okay. there is so many things i wish i could tell you. i miss you alot void 🫂