So im going to start this with a SA warning. Dude I've never told anyone but one person that I was molested as a child and it's just beating me up rn. Might be a more of a get this of my chest but. When I was young(11 years old or so) we had a adult with down syndrome and everyone bullied him. So I became friends with him because I knew he just wanted to friends. But when it happened I hid it because I knew he'd go to jail and wouldn't be treated right. But he did it to another kid and I feel like if I'd spoken up it would've been avoided. I knew I was a child and didn't know but fuck it takes a toll on me and I'm crying but I know the guy went to a home and lived the rest of his life there but its always on my mind.

I was admitted as a patient in the hospital only one of my friends came to visit me my own husband was too busy to care and when he did come he was so mean when I left the hospital he didn't even come up to my room he just waited in the car I want a divorce from my life and everyone in it my life is full of really terrible people AMC I'm sick of all of them I don't like any of them when my husband had surgery I called my mother and begged her to come out so that I would be able to visit him for an hour 3 times a day and when I'm in the hospital he couldn't even spend 15 minutes visiting me when I told him how I felt he said he never asked me for any of that and he didn't want to visit me and he called me obsessive I hate him I want out I can't believe I wasted my life on him I am disgusted by him

I literally wasted my life being married to this person who u thought was, if Nothing, atleast a kind man, a patient.

Turns out he was just high and too out of it to react.

I can't even begin to tell you in how many ways this one mistake has ruined my life. And then i went and had a child with him.

WHYYYYYYY??????????!!!!!!

I DESPISE this man SO FRIGGIN MUCH! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I've always had chronic constipation since I was a child, but it's been only worsened off since I became an adult. I'm too nervous because I bled like 3 times now today and my guts have been cramping from time to time. But I've bled like 2 years now straight now.

I get frustrated every time I bleed. Before someone suggests me, that i appreciate it, yeah, I've got more fiber on my diet since I was a pre-teen, I drink lots of water and walk to help digestion. I basically depend on fiber-rich fruits to have normal bowel movements. And I already went to the doctor recently but he told me it was a matter of healthy habits.

I sometimes wonder why my guts are broken and I need to think and rethink my food decisions, I've avoided many food like the plague but I also cannot have a small treat and I always wonder if I'll get remorse from it. I wonder what I do wrong, now and even some several years ago.

In 2024, I came to NYC heartbroken and tried to date my way out of depression. I was seeing a lot of girls, but I'd made myself a rule: one date, then block them. I was so afraid of getting hurt again that I wouldn't even give anyone the chance to get close.

Then I met her.

We went on a date that lasted ten hours. We wandered around NYC, tried different cafes, listened to old Pakistani music, and danced together in the streets.

Ten hours of my life with someone I never really got to know.

Because afterward, I blocked her too.

We never saw each other again. Life moved on, and two years passed.

Then, today, in Chicago, I saw her again.

She looked at me. I looked at her. We recognised each other and exchanged smiles before going our separate ways.

A few seconds. That's all it was.

And yet, here I am, thinking about her and that day in New York all over again.

I don't know if she remembers it the way I do. I don't even know if we would have worked out. Maybe we wouldn't have. Maybe we would have gone on a second date and realised we weren't right for each other.

But I'll never know, because I was so busy protecting myself from heartbreak that I wouldn't let myself take the risk of falling for someone.

And now I wonder what might have happened if I'd just let that day be the beginning of something instead of the end.

Katy Perry had a song about the one that got away. I never thought I'd have someone who fit that description, especially someone I only went on one date with.

But maybe that's the thing about missed opportunities. Sometimes you don't know what something meant to you until you see it again, years later, and realise a part of you never quite let it go.

I hope she's doing well.

And I wish I'd given us a chance.

I planned a party and 13 people said they would be there. 4 showed up, 4 texted me during the party they weren’t coming anymore, and the rest no showed.

glad I got the confirmation I needed I guess.

I am just so incredibly sad.

I look in the mirror and I don't see or a person any more.

I'm in college and I want to drop out so bad because I'm behind and I hate the people around me. I'm neglecting work in both school and my job because I just don't have the will power to keep going. I work in a warehouse and I can't event be bothered to do my work or just show up.

I did a psychology testing because I feel like I'm getting worse and I'm at my wits end. I just wanna die in my sleep or better yet just die in a car crash so I don't have to keep going. I feel like even if I know what's wrong with me, that nothing else will help.

I'm tired of feeling like this.

I met a guy online and he was asking for my pic sent his pics too i told him I wasn't comfortable but he was like I'd like to know the person behind the chat and that's what makes the chat comfortable. And I was stupid enough to send my pic. It was an elegent one where I was looking down and my eyes weren't visible so even if he was to put it on AI it wouldn't be an accurate pic of mine. And I sent my picture on snap he didn't save or scrnshot it. Later i deleted my pic from chat. I'm afraid about him taking a pic of it from another phone. Again it wasn't obscene at all. But I'm still scared. Later I blocked him.

Now my anxiety is killing me.

Coincidentally, my breakup and my therapist’s departure happened almost in the same week.

We had worked together for over a year, he’s the greatest supporter when it came to my relationships. He had watched me fall apart after my previous relationship ended, and then slowly put myself back together. He had also supported me through this brief but intense relationship, from beginning to end.

I had cried in front of him so many times. Yet somehow, in our very last session, when I thought I would be sobbing over my fresh breakup, I didn’t.
When he asked if I wanted to talk about the breakup, I sat on the floor and said, “No. We’ve already talked about him too much.”

So instead, during our last session, I simply told him about all the happy little things that had happened in my life that week. I talked excitedly, animatedly, going from one story to another. And when I finally finished, I told him, “These were all the things I’d been saving up to tell him. But now I’ll never get the chance.”

My therapist said, “I know you’ve told me before that you don’t want to analyze him anymore. But there’s something I still want to tell you today.”

For context, throughout this relationship, while I was constantly anxious and emotionally exhausted, my therapist had suggested several times, sometimes indirectly, that I clearly wasn’t happy with this man, and that perhaps I should consider leaving.

Once, I told him that I understood and appreciated what he was saying rationally, but emotionally, I just couldn’t let go. I always wanted to give it one more try.

I’m a fighter when it comes to love. As long as there’s even the slightest bit of hope, even the faintest trace of love left, I won’t be the one to give up.

I told him I understood that he meant well. But hearing those things from him, especially as my therapist, only made me more anxious and terrified.

So this time, in our final session, he said he wanted to tell me one last thing.

As a man, as a man in his fifties, and as a therapist who had worked with countless men, men who cheated, were immature, irresponsible and ran away from difficult conversations…he knew men.

And this man, my ex, wasn’t a bad person. But he probably wasn’t as genuine or as honest as I had described him. He probably had his reservations all along. There were probably things he had never fully given me.

He was still very careful with his words, very gentle in how he put it.

And yet, even at that moment, I wanted to defend my ex. And that’s the moment I felt like crying the mist after the breakup.

Just as I had fought so blindly for this relationship, I wanted to tell my therapist that he had misunderstood him. I wanted to take out every single moment when I had felt loved, lay them all out in front of him, and argue my case all over again.

I even wanted to say, “Maybe it’s because everything I’ve told you was filtered through my own perspective. Maybe I’ve given you a biased version of him, and that’s why you’ve come to a biased conclusion.”

And to this day, part of me still believes that.

I wanted to convince him, i loved him and he loved me, maybe to convince myself too.

But in the end, all I could say was, “Thank you so much, this means a lot to me.”

There was no more opportunity to argue. And no point in arguing anymore.

Then my therapist told me, “I believe you will be successful. And I believe you will find love.”

If I ever had another chance, I think I would ask him why, as he was a person who knew me well.

I will never get to find out whether he genuinely believed those things about me, or whether they were simply kind words meant to comfort me, encourage me, and help me move on.

But I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore.

My therapist has left, too.

He was probably the person who knew more about everything between my ex and me than anyone else in the world.

And perhaps, in some ways, he was also the person who understood it the least.

It’s just that now my therapist has left, and my ex has removed me from his life, even from his social media.

I don’t know. It feels like I’m the only person still standing in this relationship, while everyone else is pushing me to move forward.

And the road back has already disappeared.

I feel guilty about how I responded to my therapist.

I know how helpless and frustrated he must have felt when I kept rejecting his guidance. And because of that, when everything finally fell apart, I felt too ashamed to go back to him and cry about how badly I’d been hurt.

And I feel guilty about how I may have portrayed my ex, too.

Because it was never my intention to paint him in such an awful light in front of someone else.

He really was a good person…

And here I am, still holding on to all those sweet moments, only to realize that there’s no one left to share them with. No one left to acknowledge that they were real.

The person who created those moments has abandoned them.

The person who witnessed them through my eyes has questioned them.

But here they are, resting in the palms of my hands.
To me, they are pearls. They are precious stones.

And I’m the only one left who knows how beautiful they were.

He shot himself in the head after a night of drinking. My mother called me a few hours ago to tell me the news. I live in another country. Idk if I’ll be able to attend the funeral. I’m left wondering how long he felt this way. I should have reached out more. Fuck.

I was having a bad day 10 years ago. My parents weren’t helping and were yelling at me, I told them I have been wanting to kill myself. They laughed at me and refused to engage with what I said. I remember planing to jump out of my window head first when I was 6 hoping it would work.

I don’t know how to discipline without hurting myself. I know people know and can see it, but no one has said anything or tried to help. When I get upset everyone thinks I am over reacting to something they think they did to me, when majority of the time I am upset because I am just in pain every day. My animal brain wants me to die but I so badly want to live.

I can’t tell my therapist because I can’t afford to be locked away against my will. No one I’m close to care. I thought I’d be better by now but I’m not and probably never will be. Fuck it man.

I have been paying for all the dates and most of the bills and planned the dates and our anniversary is next week and he didn’t even plan me anything 😞. Sad because I know it’s an active choice at this point and I don’t understand. Sad because he couldn’t even come up with the money for it and I had to ask him if he had it only to find out he doesn’t. Sad because if something he wanted was coming out he would have found a way. Sad because I’m fighting so hard and I’m starting to wonder what’s it all for if you can’t even plan something for our anniversary. Sad because I’ve been rooting for him, supporting him through school, supporting him through family stuff. Sad because I know where it’s headed but I want to lie to myself and say it’s ok.

When I was a little girl I every time I played with Barbies, it was always a love story involving a beautiful wedding and creating a home and starting a family with Ken. I've always been a huge romantic at heart for as long as I can remember, but this year the romantic in me has died. I am exhausted and I don’t want anything to do with a relationship now, I’ve completely given up. I am always loving more and ending up hurt. I have tried managing different expectations and have discovered what I really want, and how to communicate it over the years I’ve dated. I don’t think I’m asking for too much, I just want to feel like I am the special person in my partner’s life and not an afterthought. Even in my family relationships I am an afterthought. I just simply ache for love.

I don’t want to be a man hater, and this is not a man hater post but Jesus I feel like I am a magnet for awful men. The guys I date seem great on the surface, but I end up feeling like they just like the idea of me rather than who I actually am. Or they slowly begin to show their true colors and get comfortable and cease any effort. I tried dating again this last year and have only been met with lust, objectification, and an absence of effort. I finally met someone organically who was my type to a T and seemed like a genuinely nice person interested in who I was, we would flirt here and there but it turns out he was MARRIED! I hear stories of women who get married or have children and their husbands turn into completely absent partners – I’ve seen it with my sister. I am afraid ill meet the “right guy” and he will act like the married guy I mentioned. There just seems like there is a major lack of loyalty and a huge increase in lust.

I’m educated, hardworking, I have a full life of friends and hobbies, I like to think I’m attractive, I am always working on myself, I have goals and I am achieving them, I have a strong moral code, I’m independent, and I am kind to everyone. I want to feel special on my birthday, I want my partner to remember the little things that make me feel seen. I want to be true partners in our household; I don’t want to manage everything or feel like I need to. I want to feel cared for and cherished. I don’t want to compromise but I’m starting to feel like I will need to if I really want to get married. I'm scared that once I do meet the "right person" it will just be a facade. So I've given up.

If you match with someone for casual, should you avoid talking about yourself?

I feel like i keep fumbling casual connections and i feel like it would be better if we just coordinated and did our thing. But I seem to give off a very off-putting nature once we get to know each other and then our chats begin to ghost.

We didn't even plan anything yet and I feel like I'm being judged just for having conversations about anything.

thoughts?

I work at a barista for a while and I enjoyed my work there

I was well paid, the staff there are nice (except for the manager, I think he has a huge crush in a colleague that I went out with), flexible hours for me because I do part time graphics designing. They allow me to work there. Or at least they used to.

So there was this thing that happened. A colleague showed interest in me, so we hung out for the weekend. A few days after, she asked me to help her fix her door lock. It was late at night. I was worried about her safety so I went over to make sure she can lock her apartment.

Because I had a long day and it was late at night, she told me to stay at her place. I passed out and woke up to us doing it but I was too tired, I kept on drifting in and out. I don't remember much except checking if I was wearing a condom when I realized I was, I relaxed then fell asleep again.

After the night, I felt terrible because I have a non-exclusive fwb. Our rule is if we had sex with someone else, we have to tell and give details. She is fine with it but I think she sensed I was feeling guilty like I cheated on her. I'm not built for non exclusive partners. She asked if I prefer to be exclusive instead.

It took me a while and I told her yes. I need to break things off with my colleague however. She handled it maturely and we were still on friendly terms. Things were fine but a while later I was let go from my job.

The only excuse the not so nice manager told me would be me I was wasting too much resources, said they warned me about it before (same day I ended things with my colleague). But I am not sure if that's true. I was let go a week after things ended.

However, I saw it coming because my colleague is my boss's daughter. I should not have went out with her. This was all my fault. Now I need to look for a new job or I might end up sleeping on a 24 hour gym shower room bench again.

But this thing has been eating me up and keeping me up all night as I go job hunting or while I am working out.

There was nothing I dreamed of more growing up than being "popular."
I was always the "weird girl." I felt so disconnected from everyone else. I was bullied as a little kid because everyone thought I was strange. Whether it was my interests, the way I talked, or my strange dislike of buttons, there was always something for people to pick on me for.
I was also extremely sensitive and definitely a crybaby, which didn't help my case. People would pick on me, I would cry, and then I'd get picked on even more.
It was hard, and I could never defend myself. I could never figure out the right thing to say back because my response would either be considered "too far" or wouldn't be enough. I never thought it was fair. If I retaliated, everyone would look at me like I was some kind of filth. So I kept quiet and took it all.
I wish I had stood up for myself.
Being a tomboyish young girl didn't help my situation either. None of the girls wanted to be around me because I wasn't interested in the typical girly things they liked. They thought I was weird.
The bullying got so bad in fifth grade that I would beg my teachers to step in and help me. To do something. Anything. I should've known, especially given my past experiences with the teachers at that school, that I would never get any help.
I wish there were an easier explanation for all of this. That I was some horribly unlikable, smelly kid with horrific interests.
But I wasn't. I was just a kid.
I was loud and maybe a little annoying, sure. But nothing warranted the awful treatment I had to endure from my peers or the adults I was supposed to be able to confide in.
I thought things would get better, but they didn't.
I started to mask.
I went from being this extroverted little social butterfly who wouldn't shut up to a quiet, depressed shell of a person.
I analyzed everything the "popular" girls would do and tried to mimic them. I rehearsed conversations in my head. I started watching whatever shows were popular at the time and listening to whatever music everyone else liked. I dressed like them, did my hair like them, and learned how to do my makeup like them (or at least the closest I could manage, considering I came from a lower-middle-class family).
Even when I had absolutely no interest in these things, I did them anyway because I thought maybe, just maybe, they would help me fit in.
"Glowing up" made such a massive difference in how people perceived me.
Guys finally started noticing me. Girls would compliment me and invite me places. From an outsider's perspective, I looked like a perfectly normal, neurotypical girl.
But the way I looked was so different from who I actually was.
No matter how hard I tried to mask, the "real me" would always slip out. I was still bullied in high school.
I felt so defeated.
I'm now a college student, starting a new chapter of my life. I'm fortunate enough to have a boyfriend who tells me how much he loves me. He tells me how special and unique he finds me, how smart and talented I am.
He talks about wanting to marry me, becoming rich, and giving me everything I've ever wanted (coming from a poor family, that last part definitely sounds nice lol). He tells me how excited he is to share a life with me.
Despite us both being neurodivergent in some way, I can't help but feel jealous of him.
He grew up rich, charismatic, and good-looking. He was never bullied. He was intelligent and always seemed to find a way to make things work out for him.
He was always "popular."
Sometimes I feel like I'm fulfilling some sick childhood fantasy of finally getting to be with the popular guy.
Unlike me, he understands social cues. His neurodivergence doesn't seem to affect his social life the way mine affects me.
It's such a strange experience meeting his friends and realizing just how different our lives really were. It's like getting a glimpse of "the other side."
These people never had to wear fake Converse to school. They had the money to get their hair and nails done regularly. They drove nice cars, wore nice clothes, and could afford to go out every weekend.
They were the kind of people who would talk about people like me and call them "NPCs" or "weirdos."
I felt like an imposter.
They never knew what it was like to be excluded. They were everything I had spent my childhood wanting to be.
And my boyfriend was one of them.
Sometimes he'll say something that reminds me of the way I was treated growing up. He'll comment on how strange it is that I don't go out much, ask why I can't dress nicely for him, or question why I'm so awkward and quiet.
Sometimes, when I get excited and start rambling about something, he'll tell me to shut up.
And suddenly, I feel like that weird little girl again.
So I keep trying to mask.
I know there are things he struggles with because of his own neurodivergence, too. He has BPD, ADHD, and OCD. Sometimes he can be incredibly draining. He's extremely emotionally dependent on me, and he lashes out.
We can be having a wonderful time together, and one little comment I make can send him spiraling.
Every time he lashes out, I feel like a little kid again.
I'm scared to be deeply vulnerable with him because I'm afraid he'll eventually use it against me.
I know he's neurodivergent just like me, but sometimes I wish he were different.
I try to accept him. I try to accept myself. But in the end, sometimes I wish we were just normal.
I wish I were a normal girl who managed to fit in. I wish he were a normal guy who could love me normally.
I feel awful admitting that.
I've spent so much of my life trying to become someone else. Trying to be prettier, quieter, more feminine, more socially aware, more likable. Trying to become the kind of girl people actually want around.
And even now, after changing so much about myself, I still feel like that same weird little girl who couldn't understand why nobody liked her.
I know being popular isn't everything. I know having money, nice clothes, or a conventionally attractive boyfriend doesn't magically make someone happy.
But I can't help mourning the life I never got to experience.
I wish I knew what it felt like to grow up being accepted. To have friends without constantly questioning whether they secretly found me annoying. To get excited about something without worrying that I was talking too much. To exist without having to analyze every little thing I say or do.
I wish I were a normal, boring person who talked normally, dressed normally, and acted normally.
I'm so tired of feeling like I have to earn the right to exist around other people.
And the worst part is that I don't even know how much of my personality is actually mine anymore and how much of it is just something I constructed to make myself more palatable to everyone else.
No matter how hard I try to mask, I will always be me.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life resenting myself for that.
I want to finally learn how to accept myself. I just don't know where to start.

Hi everyone!

I am currently dating a wealthy successful lawyer who's also much older than me.

He's been talking about marriage with me and he's currently living with an adult daughter who's also very mean, rude, entitled and also very sloppy. And I'm very clean so even as his girlfriend, I would actively clean up the place.

At first when I met her, I tried being nice and I thought she was just blunt but then she throws tantrums like a child and just overall really mean.

He also has an elderly mom who's 95 years old.

He told me that once we get married, he'll hire a full time live-in caregiver to ensure that his mom is taken care of.

We've been dating for almost a year now and I'm honestly not too fond with the idea of moving in with his elderly mom and his adult daughter.

He also owns multiple properties and I was thinking why don't I ask him to move to one of his other properties as our "marital" house just because I need the privacy and I want to feel safe in my own space. And honestly I sleep over at his house every weekend since we're both busy on the week days and I don't really feel safe in his home.

He can always take care of his mom, take his mom out literally whenever he wants and he can always check in on his mom over phone, messages and even visiting in person. He can also keep his current bedroom so we can sleep between the houses with a primary marital home as our new home.

Would that be asking for too much? What do you guys think? I feel like I would feel much safer moving into another home with him while giving him the full flexibility to take care of his mom while I keep my own private space.

He's also never lived seperately from his mom before even in his first marriage but that was because his first wife didn't really care so this might be a huge step for him.

My sister 19F has just ended a 5 month relationship with ex boyfriend 19M. Both are autistic and suffer with mental health issues but her ex in particular is severely troubled. My sister decided to end things because he was emotionally abusive and making her unhappy. To all of us on the outside, he seemed like a decent kid, nobody suspected what was going on behind closed doors. He is manipulative and controlling. I don’t think he even means to be this way which makes it worse and it’s something he can’t change.

He won’t accept the break up and has been harassing and emotionally blackmailing my sister non stop, threatening her with suicide if she doesn’t take him back. He desperately begs her, tells her he will change which is complete bullshit as he refuses to help himself. He claims therapy won’t help him and says he will only work on his mental health if my sister agrees to get back with him. He says their relationship is the only thing that can keep him alive.

He has been posting his suicidal plans all over his social media. He added me and everyone close to my sister to a close friend story and claimed he tried to OD but failed and will keep trying till he does. Now I’m a bit skeptical about his story as if it was true, he would be extremely ill and not posting about it but this doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s at risk.

My sister has been an absolute emotional wreck these last few days, I’ve never seen her in such a state. I know this isn’t about me but it’s breaking my heart and really getting me down to see her in so much pain, It kills me that it’s something that I can’t fix or make go away. She feels trapped, scared and feels responsible for keeping him alive and has even considered taking him back so he doesn’t do anything to himself even though she knows he’s bad for her. She says if he takes his life she will blame herself and won’t be able to live with it.

My mum, her best friend and I have been there to support her, we are trying to do our best but my sister is broken. we were able to get round to her and make her see that his behaviour is abusive. she wasn’t able to see it for herself, she is confused at how someone she loved could treat her like this. She has now blocked him, their last bit of contact was a phone call earlier on between her, her ex and her best friend who was with my sister at the time. His cousin was there with him too, he has come to stay with him to safeguard him. His cousin was straight up telling him to leave my sister alone and accept that they are finished, this made my sisters ex become aggressive and he started shouting at my sister down the phone telling her “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” and other threatening things. He then started getting violent with his cousin and sounded like they were having a fight which is when the cousin hung up.

This phone call was the last straw for my sister, she was so frightened by his aggressive and violent behaviour. She now has seen the extent he will go to and realised she knows that cutting all ties is the right thing to do.

Now for the ex, as much as I am angry at him for what he’s putting my sister through. I am also very concerned for his well being. He doesn’t have a support system whatsoever, his family are useless and never properly cared for him. My mum has tried to contact them and they just ignore her like nothing is happening, they also got annoyed with my mum calling an ambulance for him and they cancelled it. His own dad told him to man up and get over it. He’s also had a messed up childhood and has alot of issues.

One of the guys I'm dating asked me when was the first time I (35F) found out someone had a crush on me at school. The answer is never. Not in elementary school, not in high school, not in college. He thought that was crazy. And it is crazy how that question showed me just how much I've conformed to societal norms. Im definitely autistic and very masculine but also very straight. Would get mistaken for a guy a occasionally in high school and college, and was pretty invisible to all the men.

Now I've just learned to act feminine and the guys come running. I still don't own any make up but I put on a nice dress for every date. I don't talk too much about my hyperfixations. I mimic their behaviors and language. And I feel like I'm at the top of the dating pool now. I wouldn't say I could have ANY guy, but I think 90% would be down. Its so crazy hearing about the manosphere spouting about women losing their value at 30 when I've experienced the exact opposite. I have a roster now, several men that want serious relationships but I'm not interested in that. Something I couldn't have really imagined when I was younger.

I don't blame men or anything for liking me now and not then. I'm not really into feminine guys myself. But it is just eye opening to me how much playing a part that isn't really me works so flawlessly, and how the true me would just remain invisible.

Well, this is going to sound crazy, but I've probably had the strongest emotional breakdown so far with 2 bodily tremors caused by adrenaline and they weren't even so much apart.

I am having some kind of musical earworms but also sentences from Good Morning, Neighbor (TV series) and they're a bit louder than usual.

I can fully quiet it but only when I focus really hard.

My parents dismiss it and I am not in situation to call any services. It's easy for anyone to say to make a call but way harder when it happens in real life.

But what concerns me is that sometimes, I can even hear (in my head, not externally) voices of my family members which started with sleep deprivation as well as random words.

I'm afraid I might be losing my mind and that I'm stuck in a household that won't help me.

I can't just go out and call a hotline. I wish I could. But I'm just so tired and I want this to end. I don't want to die... Or start hearing those sounds externally, which will likely happen if I keep getting stressed over it.

Yes. I'm aware they're my thoughts and as I said, I can silence them. But the moment I try not to think of silence, they return.

NSFW because it's child abuse.

I was at a gas station filling up my car. A woman came out of the convenience store part with a death grip on a child. The woman was a middle aged overweight white woman with long greasy hair tied up in a bun. The child was a little girl about 7 or 8 years old and biracial. This woman threw this child into the back of the car. The little girl was screaming and attempted to escape from the other side of the car. The woman shoved her back into the car and got out keys to lock the doors from the inside.

As this was happening I took pictures and looked up the contact info for the police.

The woman then proceeded to climb in the back with the child and started wailing on her. I mean hands in fists, thrown up to the roof of the car and brought down in blows. I noticed another person in the car with them, their face buried in their phone.

I walked into the building at this point, finished writing the tip and attached the pictures, including a license plate.

As I passed the car I could hear the little girl screaming and the woman screaming back. I pressed send in the store and then felt sick so went to the bathroom. They were gone when I came out.

I hope that little girl is ok. If this woman was ok doing this in a gas station parking lot with people all around I can only imagine what she does when no one is around. Realistically, I know my report won't do anything but I had to do it.

I’m not really sure where to post this, but I guess I just need somewhere to let my thoughts out.

I’m 31F, working as a VA, eldest of four siblings, and still living with my parents while helping support the family. It’s been my life for years, and I’ve been okay with it.

I was in a long-distance relationship with a guy from Canada for 3.2 years. He was sweet, a little immature, and sometimes seriously lacking in emotional intelligence, but I loved him. We played games, watched movies and anime together, and I even got to know his 9-year-old son. He was such a sweet kid. My family knew about my ex, too, so the relationship was a pretty big part of my life.

We’ve been broken up for around 6–7 months now. I don’t really want to get into the details of how we ended things. I’d rather keep that part private, and I’m not angry about it anymore. Well, I was angry at first, but eventually, I had to accept it.

The thing is, I don’t think I’ve been the same since.
It’s hard to explain. Life just feels different now, almost like everything has turned black and white. I still go to work, travel sometimes, explore new places on my own, jog, hang out with friends and my siblings, and go on solo dates. I’m doing all the things people usually recommend when you’re trying to move on.
But I still feel this weird emptiness that I can’t seem to shake off.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually happy or if I’m just keeping myself busy so I don’t have to think too much.

And then this guy happened. LOL.

He’s honestly not my type. (He's cute but, he's like this babaero vibe) A little older than me, long separated but still legally married, has a kid, and works as a barista. From the beginning, I got the impression that he was looking for something purely physical, and for some reason, I went along with it.

Maybe I was bored. Maybe I was lonely. Maybe I just wanted to feel something again. I really don’t know.

We met three times. We’d meet somewhere, have sex, and then go our separate ways. No dates, no romantic expectations, no promises. I kinda paid for all the meetings coz I dont wanna burden him. That was the arrangement, and I thought I was perfectly fine with it.

Until I wasn’t.

The last time we met, I messaged him and told him I needed to disappear for a while because I could feel myself getting attached. I didn’t want to make things complicated, especially since I knew what we were doing wasn’t supposed to be anything serious. I even told him I wasn’t planning to see or sleep with anyone else. I just needed a little pause to get my head straight.

And this man BLOCKED ME EVERYWHERE.

HAHAHAHAHA. Like, okay?????
I mean, I get it. He probably just wanted sex, and I was starting to feel something beyond that. We were never in a relationship, and he didn’t owe me one. I’m not expecting him to fall in love with me after three hookups.

But damn, I didn’t expect to get blocked just for being honest about needing some space. I wasn’t even asking him for anything.
What’s funny is that I went through a 3-year relationship ending, spent months trying to get back to myself, and somehow got emotionally humbled by a man I met three times. Make it make sense. 😭

I’m not even sure if I’m hurt because he blocked me or if this whole situation is just bringing up feelings I’ve been trying to ignore. I have a job. I help support my family. I travel. I spend time with people I love. I try to enjoy my own company. From the outside, everything seems fine.

But I still feel like something is missing, and I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m still grieving my old relationship. Maybe I’m lonely. Maybe I’ve gotten so used to being the eldest daughter, the responsible one, the person who keeps things together, that I don’t even know what I need for myself anymore.

Or maybe I’m just overthinking a guy who was only supposed to be a hookup. LMAO.

I honestly don’t know. I just wanted to get this off my chest because I don’t really have the words to explain it to people who know me.

Has anyone else ever felt like they’ve moved on with their life, but somehow still don’t feel like themselves anymore?

I love this girl very much, we got together a few times in middle school and now we’re in high school. We haven’t talked since last year September, but she has tried to get in contact with me a few times after we broke up last September.

Background:
The only reason we broke up last year was because I wasn’t talking to her much but it wasn’t my fault we haven’t talked in so long and we got together so quick.
During that time, this girl who was her ex in 7 grade came in between us and wanted to be part of our break up and now she’s with her. I was very mad at that time but I got over it and moved on.

Now, I did mention she tried to get in contact with me a few times during the summer or Everytime I broke up with my girlfriend which was a few times. She finally took that chance and we started talking. She told me she likes me and I reciprocated her feelings and she was still in a relationship with her gf, they got together again in June but theres a crazy part.

What I heard was she has a restraining order on her gf, and she had told me that she didn’t like her gf and that her gf hits her, she makes her do things she doesn’t like and has pictures of her nudes and her gf threatens her that if she leaves she’ll post them.

Anyways, we talk and we hung out in Barnes and noble and we made out, It was really embarrasing for me because I didn’t know how to make out with tongue and she knew, but I enjoyed it and I was reassured by her, but then suddenly she was trying to make me like stop talking to her days later, well she did say the reason she wanted to stop talking was because I would text her like I wanted to argue if she didn’t respond early but I knew she would be busy it’s just that I never knew she was that busy she would take many hours too respond, literally and I was paranoid and anxious with her because she genuinely cheat last second before breaking up with the person or that’s how I viewed her from the past because we haven’t spoke in so long and we didn’t even last a month, and I feel really bad because she does have places to go and a abusive manipulating girlfriend but she was cheating on her with me. I love her so much, I wanted to be serious with her or not if she didn’t want that, I wanted to keep talking to her, I wanted to protect her from her crazy girlfriend. I was worried for her and stressing for her, I didn’t want her to get hurt but I messed up and texted “don’t text me if you know you’re not gonna respond”, she had told me that was the reason why she wanted to stop talking to me, I felt bad but she never talked to me about it I’ve always tried to talk to her but she seem to not be used to it and avoid it, I sent a whole paragraph expressing myself and all I got was “lets stay on good terms”, sure it’s best to not argue but it just seems like I meant nothing to her. She did also mention before the “let’s stay on good terms” she wanted someone that “matches her”???? I told her that she just wanted a best friend since she barely got friends because of her gf.
Anyways after we stopped talking, I went to school with my friends on a Thursday morning and I saw her and her girlfriend happy and drinking Starbucks together, I was confused and hurt because she had asked me to ask my friend to defend her from her girlfriend and she had punched her because she was tired of her and did get her suspended but now? I was confused and hurt, I felt used, I didn’t know what was going on, why was she so happy and now I think she likes her girlfriend again and I’m still Inlove her. We’ve talked a few times and she did call me a nickname after we stopped talking, I’ve been going crazy and being delusional over every single thing, and I think I saw her avoiding me once and I’m kinda hurt about it but I’m still hoping she still likes me even after all that. Im trying to move on but I can’t it’s hard and I can’t stop thinking about her and what we had, I felt a connection somehow and I really tried to make us work but I just got thrown away like trash and the worst thing is we didn’t even last a month. We always don’t last a month theres always something, I don’t know why she’s the only girl who I can’t last a month with. It’s like we’re not meant for eachother even If I tried, I sound corny but I really wanted to be with her I never took anyone serious until now. Now, I’m trying to talk to her again slowly so she doesn’t avoid me again.

Can y’all give me advice or something honest, im desperate.

A little while ago I posted about how I thought I might be a trans girl, and I think I’ve finally accepted it. But I have a problem… I don’t know what to do from here. I want to start transitioning but to do that I’d have to come out, and I’m scared to do that.

I know my family would support me but it still doesn’t help it be any easier. I really don’t know what to do, any advice from other trans people would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I think if I were to come out I wouldn’t be “girly” enough. Like I like working on my cars and doing “boy” stuff like that but I think it’d be better if I was a girl doing those things. Anywho I really don’t know what to do, please give me advice.

Leaving abusive husband

It’s so hard. I have been applying to jobs since my youngest was born which was 9 months ago. Had a couple interviews but never heard back. I don’t have a car but once I’m able to buy one I plan on leaving. Might be stupid idk. There’s no way I can go without a car. I’m the only one that take our kids places.

Tips on getting a job? And tips on getting a decent/cheap car with bad credit? I’m fine if I have to finance it.