Hey guys, I want to share my story because I don’t know what to do right now and I’m really struggling. I have been addicted to laxatives for about 7-10 years now. I’m currently 21 years old and I really want to stop.

When I was around 11 years old I got diagnosed with pcos. I was techically considered obese was really struggling at this period and decided to lose weight. When I turned 15 after I reached a highest weight of and decided enough was enough. Since this was during covid I decided to really dedicate my time to weight loss. I lost a lot of weight which I was so proud but I also found laxatives. My parents had used them and recommended them to me since I dealt with serious constipation. It would take me 3 days to have a normal bowel movement. So I started taking dulcolax. As I got more dependent, I started increasing the medicine.

My weight would fluctuate a lot during this period. Mainly due to the laxatives. I then ended up going to a new dietician where I stopped my use of dulcolax. I had been taking around 6 pills a day. When I went off I struggled a lot and was bloated for around a month. So I decided to go to my pharmacist and he prescribed a natural laxative. I would take 4 pills a day.

I don’t want to say that I have an eating disorder or anything but I’m just so upset about my dependence on the laxative. I need advice on how to go off it because it’s really affecting my life and my mental health. I constantly feel that I can’t do it because I know I will gain weight and feel pain, but I also want to be free from this medication that is causing me so much stress. Does anyone have advice on what to do.

I decided to talk to my best friend about my ED. I struggle to talk to people about my mental health face to face. However it’s been especially bad lately and I knew I had to tell him we don’t keep secrets. He just listened. He didn’t freak out or judge me he just listened and encouraged me. He let me talk for as long as I wanted and get everything out. I’ve had people try to scare me out of my ED for years now and it’s not like I didn’t want to stop but for the first time I feel like someone genuinely got through to me by just listening and being gentle and supportive. I’m starting an outpatient program soon because of that conversation and I wanted to share that with you guys.

I (f18) ate two slices of pizza from little caesers today since my mom usually gets it on fridays for our family. i feel like i am a humongous pig and even though what i ate for my whole day may be somebody out theres normal lunch, i feel i must starve myself for a few more days to rid myself of the calories in my body. before today i havent eaten for 2 days before the day prior where i ate half a rotisserie chicken and purged it all up and i felt accomplished. i am not glamorizing my disorder with this post whatsoever, im just keeping it real how i feel.

No discussion of weight/behaviors.

Curious to hear how other people’s doctors were and how clear they were about your diagnosis is/was.

Recently I was going through my medical records because I’m switching doctors, and discovered that the diagnosis I had been telling people I had was incorrect; up until I had my first relapse, every document refers to me having ARFID, before it switches to anorexia with no mention of ARFID or any ARFID related behaviors.

The behaviors I started with were, in hindsight and from the documentation, were very much more ARFID than AN, but it was never presented to me that way nor was I ever told directly (same with my depression diagnosis, but that’s a different issue…)

Is this normal? I’m aware that switching between EDs is, but I was never really told directly what I had was X eating disorder/that it had developed into something else and it just really threw me to find because I think it would be relevant to my psychiatrist/current doctor, especially since I’m currently having issues.

I've suffered from AN & ARFID since I was 12, I'm now 44 so it's been a very long time. I've never considered I had BN until my specialist wrote it as another disorder I have. I thought BN was binging & purging which I've never done, my specialist is basing the diagnosis solely on my laxative abuse. Does this figure?

I’m not seeking a diagnosis and I don’t want to get too specific as to not trigger others

The basic rundown;
Obese since age 5. Parents had me on many programs since then up until 18. Eventually had surgery at my biggest. Gained some weight back and went on a GLP1. Currently at my lowest weight which is still considered overweight.

I’m in therapy and IOP for other mental health concerns. My therapist and IOP tell me to seek an ED specialist because I do not eat anywhere near what my calorie intake should be or have more than a meal a day. My argument is that I’m on a GLP1 which makes me not want to eat. I feel I don’t have an ED since I’m on this medication.

Idk am I in denial? Do I seek out an ED specialist? I guess my biggest concern is what will a specialist do if I don’t believe I have an ED and don’t want to change this right now?

I've suffered from AN & ARFID since I was 12, I'm now 44 so it's been a very long time. I've never considered I had BN until my specialist wrote it as another disorder I have. I thought BN was binging & purging which I've never done, my specialist is basing the diagnosis solely on my laxative abuse. Does this figure?

Curious about this because I've read over and over again that, in early recovery, people with restrictive EDs tend to be constipated and bloated because our metabolism is slowed down. However, I go through periods of remission and through relapses, and whenever I get out of a relapse and start eating adequately, I get the exact opposite. Sure, I do get horribly bloated and gassy but I'm also occupying the toilet all the time and when I eat something, anything, it just flies straight through me.

I feel really weird about it not only because it's gross but also because all articles about EDs and recovery only talk about constipation, not about...this. When I was experiencing it for the first time, my doctor didn't even connect it to my ED because of how atypical it is and my therapist didn't think of it being connected either. Considering that it's a pattern though, I can safely say that it is just what happens whenever I get out of a relapse.

​

Hello, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year.

She has a severe eating disorder and that worries me.

We are in LDR so I can't help much but I need any kind of advice and help because I'm truly worried about her health.

Sadly therapy is out of the question(family issues)

I went to residential treatment at the end of November last year and left in February, and then did PHP and IOP until the end of June this year. I genuinely was doing so much better for so long and I thought for a while that I was almost fully recovered.

A couple weeks ago I spiraled into a depression that always seems to come this time of year and slipped back into old habits. My therapist said today that if there’s not significant progress within the next week then I will have to go back to residential.

I feel so guilty and I don’t have high hopes that I’ll be able to make enough progress to not go because I’m really struggling. And I do think going back would really help me. But I feel so much shame and like embarrassment to go back there after doing so well, and it feels like such a quick turn around. I literally sent my residential team a letter a month ago telling them how well I was doing and I feel like they’re going to be disappointed in me. I’m scared my family is disappointed too. I’m disappointed in me.

I think it would help me to hear similar stories (preferably with a happy ending)? I’m starting to feel like there’s no hope for recovery if I can go from doing so well to needing to go back to residential in just a few weeks.

Hello all;

I have a student/client who is in their late teens that suffers from Emetophobia (fear of vomiting), and as such has lately been severely restricting their food intake from that fear. They mentioned the phobia to me recently, and I knew it was an issue that’s been affecting them as of late. Their mother has spoken with me as well and has said they’re acting out from this a lot lately. I presume they’re in therapy for it, though I’m not sure. They do have a fairly good relationship with their mother based on what they’ve mentioned before to me, so I don’t feel concerned on that front, tho I’ll obvs keep an eye/ear out for their safety.

What I’m seeking is any advice anyone may have on something like this, if anyone has dealt with this before? I’m looking for the best ways that I can support them and help them as they deal with this, beyond just making sure we’ve got ample snacks and food on hand when they’re here.

Thank you in advance for any help and resources you all can provide!! Thank you.

TW: Eating disorders, childhood experiences, disordered eating

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 13, so I’ve lived with it for more than half my life. Something I’ve been struggling with lately is the fear that I’m subconsciously passing it on to my daughter, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

My own childhood definitely influenced my relationship with food and my body. My mom was very critical of herself, was constantly dieting, and even suggested Weight Watchers to me when I was around 10 years old. I also grew up in a very traditional household where we were expected to clean our plates or we couldn’t go to bed. Looking back, I think these experiences contributed to my relationship with food, which eventually developed into binge eating and bulimia.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I’m incredibly conscious of not repeating those patterns.

I try very hard not to speak negatively about my body or criticize my appearance in front of her. I’m careful about the language I use, too. For example, if we’re talking about makeup, I’ll say it’s something you can use to look fancy rather than something you need to look beautiful. I want her to grow up knowing that her worth has absolutely nothing to do with how she looks.

I also want to mention that I am in treatment for my eating disorder and have been for over a year now. I’m actively working on my recovery and trying to understand and unlearn a lot of the things I grew up with. I take this seriously, which is part of why this worries me so much. Even though I’m getting help and doing the work, I still worry about the things my daughter might be picking up on without me realizing it.

I know that even when we’re careful about what we say, children can notice our behaviours, our emotions, and our relationship with food. I worry that she might be subconsciously picking up on my eating disorder, even though I try so hard to shield her from it.

I feel guilty thinking that something I’ve struggled with for so much of my life could affect her, especially because I know firsthand how painful it can be.

I want so badly to break this cycle. I don’t want her to grow up with the same thoughts and struggles that I’ve had. At the same time, I know I can’t completely hide every struggle from her, and I’m trying to figure out what a healthy approach to parenting looks like when you’re dealing with an eating disorder yourself.

For parents who have struggled with eating disorders, how have you navigated raising children? Have you worried about passing your relationship with food and your body image on to them? What have you done to help your children develop a healthy relationship with food and themselves, even while you’re still working through your own struggles?

I’d especially love to hear from people who grew up with a parent who had an eating disorder, or whose parents struggled with dieting and body image. What do you wish your parents had done differently? What helped you?

I’m not looking for judgment. I’m genuinely trying to learn how to do better for my daughter, and I could really use some advice from people who understand.

I've been in recovery for 30 days now, after restricting for around 16 months. But I never feel hungry or full anymore, it's like my cues are completely gone and I'm constantly at a state of neutrality. It's very confusing because I don't ever have a feeling of hunger, but at the same time no matter how much | eat I never get any sense of fullness (It would take me to eat 4k+ to actually feel some sort of fullness). All I want is to be able to actually FEEL hungry/ full like a normal person. After each meal it's like I haven't eaten anything and am left with that same feeling of neutrality. So right now I'm wondering if I should kind of go "all in" and honor this lack of fullness by eating until | can actually get that feeling no matter how high the amount is, or if I should stick by the recovery amount range and end my day of eating regardless if I feel full or not? For context, I lost Quite a substantial amount of my body weight in the span of 16 months and am now quite UW and I know that I need to restore weight and eat more, but I'm confused on if the overall intake or time of day/consistency matter more for bringing these cues back. I've also lost my period for quite some time, and l would love any advice on what helped you/what you think I should do to help my situation.

When he tells me he's 'trying to get healthier' and lose weight

Telling me what he's eating

Always talking about his one meal a day

How he's started eating sugar free jello (my lowcal safe food)

How he's walking and working out more and buying work out equipment

I don't know how to tell him he's just pissing me off and I feel borderline insulted that's he's adapted parts of my disorder to his life to lose weight

And I'm just generally triggered whenever he brings up health and eating

How has everyone else navigated this

I had my visit at the local ED center last week, and this last Wednesday, they outlined my course of treatment. They're sending me to a neighboring state for 2-3 weeks of inpatient treatment. When I get back, I'll go into 6 (I think she said) weeks of outpatient, 5 days a week, 6 hours a day.

I have no idea what to expect in inpatient treatment. If anyone has been, can you let me know what to expect? Will I have access to my phone (I know different facilities have different rules, and I won't expect it any answer as a guarantee, but I'm hoping someone was allowed to keep theirs)? Did they transport you to the hospital or did you have to get there yourself? I expect a lot of therapy and they said I could bring my heart loop monitor,but will their be weigh-ins, medical tests, that sort of thing?

I'm terrified how meals will go. I know everything is going to have to change. I'm... not excited, but grateful at the same time, if that makes sense, that I'll finally get professional help instead of trying to navigate this on my own. But I'm still scared.

Hi, I am looking to gains ome support for B/P. I have had it for two years, and it is starting to take a strain on my realtionship as I spend hours a day no-contact as well as this affects my schoolwork. I have deeply considered going to the hospital on multiple occasions because I am tired of the feeling once I commit to B/P.

I do think I need to address this behavior with my partner because I want to encourage transparency by being transparent with him. He knows that I spend a lot of time doing something, but I cant tell him why. wanted to get supports situated before I do so. WHere do I start? Is getting medicinal support possible if I wanted to? I deal with an insatiable appetite. For context, I am on a school campus so their psychiatric / RD services are very limiting / non-existant. What do I do?

Hi, I’ve been offered a place for the 12 week recovery programme. It’s delivered by the ED charity, BEAT. I have my first call on Monday. I’m a bit apprehensive! Anyone here done it? I think it used to be called momentum.

i’ve been on my health grind for so so long,, going to the gym and weightlifting and going to pilates. i haven’t been going as often as i used to because ive been feeling so shitty about myself
people telling me that they admire my lifestyle and they wish they could be as “disciplined” as me makes me feel like a fake
i’ve been struggling with bullimia for around 5 months now and i don’t know how to handle it because of the intense anxiety i have of gaining weight and looking how i used to
can anyone help? im so tired of this it’s affecting my social life and my mental health let alone my physical health

So I’m on the lower end of the normal weight range, and for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to recover. I have had 3 days where I binged on some chocolate and went way over maintenance.

I know I can’t talk numbers but my surplus combined over those three days would be about the weekly weight gain rate of a bulk.

I just feel so guilty. Advice?

Hi everyone, I am really struggling in "recovery" right now. I've met with outpatient professionals and attended residential, PHP, and endless free support opportunities for almost two years now. My official diagnosis is anorexia but I swing between severe restriction and, what my doctor calls, compensatory eating (which feels so chaotic and out of control). I can't get myself to eat the meal plan from my dietician. I'm so scared and alone. My friends and family don't understand, and I don't think there is anything they can do to help. I'm sorry to whine on here. I hope others are well xx.

hi all! for some context this is my first time posting in the sub, I,ve had my reddit account for a little while but I mostly use it to lurk so I’m still quite new to actually posting so my apologizes if I’m not doing this correctly and I will take it down if it’s a violation 😭 so obviously I’m part of this sub bc I have an ED, but I also have had other issues stemming from childhood that have recently resurfaced and I scheduled an appointment with a therapist for these issues. I’m struggling on whether I should mention my ED to her when I see her. I don’t think i’m ready to recover yet but I do want to be open and honest with everything that i’ve been going through this past year and obv my ED plays a big part. this practice is more focused on trauma and emotional mental health issues and I’m wondering if EDs fall into that category or if this would require a separate therapist that has medical expertise? if that makes any sense?? I’m just afraid that as soon as I mention having disordered eating that I won’t be able to see her anymore bc it doesn’t qualify for treatment with her and I might have to be sent somewhere else. for some more context, I use to see this therapist about 6ish years ago for the same issues (non-ED) that have now resurfaced but I’m stopped going. so I decided to see her again since she somewhat knows my past but I’m just worried about bringing up my new issues - restrictive eating beginning this time last year, and binge/purging several times daily which started like 2ish months ago, gotten worse this month. I’m still at a healthy bmi and do not look sick at all but I know my behavior is very unhealthy and would like to get some help eventually, just not right now. I think I need to work towards that but I don’t think I can without getting help for my other issues bc I feel they may be linked. I don’t have any diagnoses right now but I do suspect that I may had adhd and that my binge/purging habits may be linked but idk if that’s just a myth or not, but it does make sense to me. adhd or other similar mental health issues is something she can treat, but it feels disingenuous to leave out my eating habits. i’m worried that she may treat me for the other issues with medication and might make my ED worse. so I’m just struggling on what to say. it’s quite expensive so my sessions are just once a month for now, first session is next week. is it worth mentioning my ED to her?

again I hope this is ok to ask on this sub, if not i apologize greatly and will take it down!! thank you 🫶🏼

I have bulimia and started trying to recover about two months ago. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m gaining weight, and today I went to see my psychiatrist. The first thing he said when he saw me was how much weight I’d gained, even though he knows I have an eating disorder and body dysmorphia.
I just started crying hysterically. I feel like I’m back at square one and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I hate how I look.I hate how I feel in my own body, I hate everything about it.
Recovery sucks 💔

Should you stop exercising in recovery if you feel like it's compulsive? Will my body change a lot if I do?

Long story here but I’m stressing very hard right now. The buildup might seem unrelated here but I swear it will make sense. I was talking to this to this girl so I thought I was for about a month. I thought we had such a connection and we did like everything we did was similar and it seemed perfect. It got a to a point where she trusted me enough for her to say she has had it really rough last few years and that she has bad anxiety that leads her to have body dysmorphia and sometimes not eat. I took all this info in and we talked about it for a bit she felt comfy and everything. But fast forward turns out she was Acatully talking to a guy who she really liked and I was devastated. So stopped talking for a week or two but today she texted out of the blue, “I need help I’m scared” and she sends me a whole video on how this is the most anxiety she’s ever had and past week she hasn’t eaten anything except dinner and she doesn’t eat because she’s scared she’ll just puke it all out form her anxiety. She said she’s too scared to tell her parents or anybody because they’ll send her to the doctors or hospital. This is when I couldn’t take it anymore, I knew a man who once tried to commit from body images and writing him a letter saying how thankful I was he was still here was something I couldn’t do again. So I found her sister on instagram messaged her what’s been going on and just asked her to find a way to help her. Now this girl immediately finds out what I did after her parents talk to her and sister calls her and gets very upset for betraying her since she only wanted to talk to me about it. I told her the story about the guy and how I couldn’t bear seeing her in this state. This didn’t change her agenda whatsoever and she is still very upset and feels a loss of trust. I don’t know what to do I feel wrong after doing it and feel like a piece of shit doing so, please reply if you have anything to comment on

Hi everyone! I (18F) am a type 1 diabetic, and I’ve been struggling with diabulimia for the past few years. I keep trying to recover, and I can sometimes go a month taking my insulin consistently before relapsing.

One of my biggest struggles is my relationship with food and weight. Restricting insulin and not caring about my sugars is SO less stressful than constantly monitoring my health. I love that I can eat what I want without gaining weight due to the lack of insulin i take. and as unhealthy as I know that mindset is, it’s incredibly hard to let go of. I understand the serious complications of uncontrolled diabetes, but knowing the risks doesn’t automatically make recovery easier.

I feel stuck in a cycle of genuinely wanting to get
better, making progress, and then falling back into old habits. Sometimes, not caring about the consequences feels easier and more freeing than dealing with the anxiety surrounding food, weight, and managing my diabetes. It scares me that I can want to recover so badly and still find myself wanting to relapse.

Has anyone else struggled with diabulimia or are currently in this cycle?? any help is appreciated. :)