Hello everyone,

First of all, if thinking about mental health units is triggering for you, please do not read on...

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So, I have been in hospital being treated for major depression for a few weeks...

They are watching if I am eating, and I have been finishing 100% of my trays, choosing desserts now on my menus, and eating more than I was at home, although that " voice" demands every single day that I try to get away without eating, but it would be impossible here...

Anyway, today I have a really good nurse, but he made a big mistake...

When talking about my ED he admitted he doesn't know much about ED's, and then said," Well you look healthy, people with eating disorders look really sick."

Of course what did I hear when he said," healthy"?

Well, you all know, I heard," F*T "

And felt humiliated and terrified.

I tried to tell him that was triggering, but...well like I said, apart from this he is a great nurse and I suppose he meant well, but now I am obsessing.

I told him how since being here I have had the thought that," I want to go back to my ED."

Back?

As I mentioned in my first post here, I am in no way recovered.

How do I cope with this well intentioned yet ignorant and triggering comment?

And why after all these years hasn't my mind/brain become...proud that at least I am not fighting them, and finishing my trays, ordering fear foods with zero support?

Sigh..." You look good. You look HEALTHY."

Ugh. I don't think that comment will ever not trigger me. even after 40 years " living" with anorexia...

Anyway, wondering if any of you can understand...

( Sadly, I anticipate many of you do indeed understand.)

Sending you all much strength.

1. Look for high protein stuff. The main reason I am afraid of gaining weight is because I don't want to be "fat." But protein isn't fat, and also protein is very very important if you want to gain healthy weight and muscle. I know the gym bros are in their annoying protein phase right now and it feels like just another fad, but it does genuinely help.

2. Tell yourself over and over that eating is something you get to do, rather than something you have to do. You have to actively tell yourself this enough times before you start to believe it. I say it out loud in front of a mirror or write it down repeatedly. Do it even if you think it's stupid.

3. Learn basic cooking skills. You don't have to be a gourmet chef, but knowing the basics is really helpful. This is one I'm still working on.

4. Trying to treat cooking/baking/food prep as a hobby. If you actively seek out the good things about making food, you can convince yourself to enjoy it. Also, I highly recommend meal prepping/making things in bulk so you don't have to do it every day.

5. Find easy meals with little to no prep that are decently healthy. I have soups, frozen meals, and various "add water" kits for when I don't feel like putting in the effort. They're all pretty cheap too! An example of this is maruchan ramen + frozen vegetables + sausage.

6. Try to make food you actually like. You will never enjoy eating if all your food tastes like crap. This one takes some figuring out, but pay attention to ingredients and methods of cooking that are palatable to you both in taste and texture, and try to replicate them.

7. If you are going to count calories, you should be aiming to be ABOVE a certain number, rather than BELOW. Find "average calorie intake" for someone of your age/height/gender and go from there. I ONLY recommend this tip if you can actually meet or go above your number. If you are struggling to meet your calorie count, it will just make you feel worse. Do not count calories AT ALL if it is more likely to make you relapse!!

8. Something is better than nothing. If you don't want to eat anything at all, have a small snack. Even if you think it's something "unhealthy," some food is better than no food.

9. If/when you start gaining weight, tell yourself over and over that it is a GOOD thing, not a bad thing. This is the same as number 2: repeat it over and over even if you don't believe it. Eventually you will.

Your perception of your weight is literally wired into your brain and you have to manually rewire it. The more you think about a specific thing, the more neurons activate, and they build up over time. There is actual neuroscience behind this. Changing your mindset is NOT EASY, but it is possible!

my friend who i went to highschool with, he just unfriended me instead of even talking to me about what was wrong when he found out. i know it is selfish of me to want attention but i guess i just want to be seen.

So my struggles never got into what could be considered a "full" eating disorder. I was never diagnosed with anything.

December-January I did struggle a lot with eating enough for various reasons and got low iron. Whoops. Anyways took supplements for that.

So now I still do struggle with disordered thoughts but I kind of have to eat more/eat enough because I'm taking testosterone to transition (I'm a trans dude, very happy with the T, thanks). So at least I'm eating enough.

My mom is SO triggering to me. She used to be obsessed with the 600 pound life show a few months back and would watch it all the time and I did not like that but wasn't brave enough to tell her. Then she has suggested in the summer when I wasn't currently taking T that she "didn't think my body could handle the extra weight if I gained some" and suggested I take a GLP-1 like she is currently taking. I got a bit upset tbh and refused it twice. For one she is not a doctor and the doctor said (shocker) I'm perfectly healthy, if a little overweight. Bloodwork is perfect also. No issues. Anyways a glp-1 most certainly would exasperate the food issues I already have. So yeah, no thank you.

Now she is convinced that since I spend a long time in the washroom (I'm hiding from the family tbh) and that my mouth smells, I have bulimia. Yes she asked me last night and I was like "no??" The only reason she thinks that is cause of those 2 reasons. And it's like I am pretty sure there would be more signs and symptoms. But anyways. My mouth smells because I need to get my wisdom teeth removed and my mouth is right now more difficult to get clean because of that. I did try to tell her that and she wasn't convinced. I know she's a social worker and has referred out clients who struggle with the issue, but I don't struggle with the issue. Have I thought about it? Well...yes. unfortunately. Thanks mental health struggles.

It seems that my mom keeps reopening old wounds here. I latch onto these and really take them to heart...because of course I do. I'm aware I'm overweight, but this stuff she says doesn't help me! It makes me want to relapse into very bad habits like not eating enough!! But she probably won't get that because she didn't believe I had issues in the first place. I also can't leave yet because cost of living is sucky. So. Idk what to do.

I’m 16F, and my younger sister has an eating disorder. It’s been affecting our entire family for a long time, and I’m starting to realise just how much it’s affecting my own mental health.
My sister was previously hospitalised because of her eating disorder, and that was an incredibly difficult time for our whole family. My parents have been through so much trying to support her, and I’ve witnessed how much they genuinely care about her recovery.
However, one of the biggest struggles at home now is how frequently my sister gets angry with our parents and blames them for things.
She often says that nobody cares about her, that our parents don’t understand her, or that they aren’t helping her. This is incredibly frustrating to hear because I’ve personally witnessed everything my parents have done to support her.
For example, she becomes upset when my parents are involved in her meals or when she feels she doesn’t have enough control over her food. She sometimes gets angry about the types of ingredients they use or how they prepare her meals.
She also struggles with her body image and has a lot of anxiety surrounding food and weight. I understand that these thoughts and feelings are part of what she’s going through, and I know an eating disorder is a serious mental illness.
But what I find incredibly difficult is how those emotions often turn into anger towards our parents.
It feels like there’s constantly something wrong, something to argue about or someone to blame.
Sometimes she’ll say that she feels herself heading towards a relapse, which is obviously worrying for everyone. My parents take her illness seriously, and I know they’re trying to do what’s best for her.
I often find myself defending my parents during arguments because I feel like they’re being unfairly blamed. I know I don’t have to get involved, but it’s difficult to sit there and listen when I’ve witnessed how much they’ve sacrificed and how hard they’ve tried.
I’m not saying my sister is choosing to struggle or that she should be able to control all her emotions. I understand that eating disorders can affect someone’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
But I also think it’s important to acknowledge how difficult it can be for the rest of the family.
One of the hardest things is that my older brothers aren’t around as much, so I’m physically present for a lot of the arguments and tension.
Even when the arguments end, I’m still left feeling emotionally drained.
I feel frustrated because I love my sister and want her to recover, but I’m also exhausted by how much conflict there is at home.
Sometimes I feel guilty for being so frustrated because I know she’s struggling with a serious illness. But at the same time, I feel like I’m constantly expected to understand everyone else’s emotions while trying to manage my own.
I’ve been struggling with my mental health, motivation and emotional exhaustion, and I think the constant stress at home is gradually catching up with me.
I don’t want people to assume my parents are neglectful or unsupportive, because that genuinely isn’t the situation. They’re trying their best, and I feel protective of them because I see how much they’re going through too.
I just wish there was more understanding that an eating disorder doesn’t only affect the person experiencing it. It can have a huge emotional impact on siblings and parents as well.
Has anyone else experienced having a sibling with an eating disorder who frequently directs their anger or frustration towards their parents?
How did you cope with witnessing the arguments, feeling protective of your parents and dealing with your own frustration while still caring about your sibling?

I relapsed with my eating disorder last year due to a lot of medical issues and things out of my control. I used to purge and abuse laxatives, som b/p issues, but this relapse i have avoided them. I recently started eating more and pushing through the physical issues that have been making this rather difficult. Now my brain is freaking out and wanting me to engage in these behaviors again. I haven’t given into them, I also recently cut down a lot on my alcohol intake because my partner is an alcoholic and is trying to get sober so if I do drink I try to keep it far from him even if he says its okay for me to have a drink in front of him but have decided to just cut down. It does mean dealing more with my emotions and not pushing them down.

I’m in therapy but we don’t talk about my ED in the sessions. The holidays are always a struggle for me, and that might be a big reason that I am struggling with this come to think of it. My CPTSD has been in overdrive a lot and purging for a long long time was my way of regulating those emotions and those memories that have tormented me and pushing along my ED. I’ve done a lot of work and a lot of progress but I feel almost like I’m taking steps back here or like I’ve not taken any forwards. I haven’t purged, used lax except when necessary taking the lowest amount i could, or b/p. I don’t know if I can keep fighting the good fight much longer.

I opened up to my partner recently about my ED and he’s been supportive, he’s seen me through all walks of life including in ED, but I hesitate to bring up ED things with him, especially as his sobriety is new. He’s been pointing out to me when I make healthier choices but not pushing me to. He just points out things he sees as accomplishments and it doesn’t trigger me that i am aware of, but sometimes does put it on my mind. I don’t want to add onto his plate though.

I’m scared of giving in to these behavoirs. It would be a tipping point and I know that it can get real slippery real quick. Its like an addiction to me, and I’m trying to avoid it, my progress could completely backslide. That is scary, i feel like I’m in a semi maintenance place ED wise most days, this would throw me back into the vice grip of my ED. Take all my “normal” days away from me.

I don’t know the point of this post really, i just, idk. Is it okay to be scared? Am I strong enough to fight these behaviors off? I don’t feel like I am some days. This is how i feel in control with everything else going on going in my life. (Major unrelated to ED medical issues going on that triggered the relapse) I don’t want to lose anymore control. I did for a bit with this ED when I stopped fighting for my health with these medical issues and gave into it but I feel like I have gotten some of that control back and I dont want to give it up again. I dont want to be second fiddle to my ED or medical issues. I want to be the important thing to me.

I don't even know why I'm making this post...

This is going over my struggles with eating disorders and my other mental health struggles

I'm a trans female, 26. I've been struggling with eating anorexia ever since I was coming out of middle school... I spent ten years in a toxic relationship that although it was toxic they helped me through my freak out phases that would come every time I reached a new weight... The last time was three years ago and I ended up spiraling into bulimic urges. They pushed me through it and kept me eating until I adjusted to the new weight. A year ago the relationship ended leaving with only one person who would rarely respond. I had and have no support system my parents are narcissists and this past week shit hit the fan... I had been dealing with a lot of self hate between noone being there for me my gender dysphoria body dysmorphia... I know I'm not big but all I see looking in the mirror is a double chin and a stomach that sticks out... I've completely lost the self confidence I used to have... And then I hit another weight barrier and now I'm in complete self hatred fighting delusions that no one will love me again and that no one will take any interest in me unless I can provide something to them... I'm handling things okay but I'm calorie counting and following a strict diet halving my normal consumption... I don't want to imagine how things will end up when and if the diet doesn't give me the results I'm hoping for and I just feel like I'm alone in this matter... I have a history of self harm and suicide so I'm hoping that this last effort will start helping me recover because I've never been so alone and I feel like I've completely fallen apart...

Maybe im in denial but I want to believe that I don’t have an eating disorder. I have no desire to lose weight and I hate how I look so scrawny. But it’s just that my depression keeps me from even remembering to eat. Getting psychiatric help isn’t an option either.

But i have this friend who’s sweet but she really struggles with body image issues. She would always talk about not wanting to be the “unattractive fat one” between us, which made me feel pretty unsettled. And I hated how she spoke about herself but in a sense, it made me start wondering if the way I look right now is something to aspire? Something desirable? It really messes with my head

I recently met her after not having seen e/o for a while and she lost a significant amount of weight. But she was still fawning over my body and telling me that she needs to lose more weight. I feel like I’m unintentionally feeding into her issues while being unable to do anything about my own. I just feel awful, I don’t know what to do.

So i've been somewhat recovered for a few years now. I mean i never classically recovered with medical assistance because I rejected the help of psychiatrists when I was deep in my ed and didn't want to recover and gain weight. I recovered pretty naturally and instinctively, I started binging and gained weight, and when i went back to a healthy weight the binges just stopped and after several years I achieved balanced eating habits with a normal weight. Although I DEFINITELY don't have the same mecanisms and thoughts as I did back then, I'm still not comfortable gaining too much weight and being overweight or even not in the higher range of a healthy bmi. Im not obsessive anymore, I dont feel the need to lose weight, I don't restrict and eat what i want and when I want. However I happen to feel some nostalgia sometimes when I think about the eras when I was deep into my ed. I know I don't really want to go back there as I'm not a preteen anymore it would mess my adult life so much. But I still feel so drawn to that era of my life where I was on edtwt and my main concern was losinf weight, and the happiness of reaching a goal, and that sort of dramatic depressing feeling. Maybe that's just my natural tendancy to romanticize everything and feel nostalgic of every 6 months I live. But sometimes I wonder if that's a consequence of never properly recovering and healing the underlying issues that caused my ed

i’ve been in denial about having an eating disorder but i’ve now reached the point of malnutrition that my body is no longer menstruating.

this summer i unintentionally lost a significant amount of weight in the span of 2 months. to the point that people have pointed how “dramatically” my figure changed in a short period of time. stress plays a factor too; i was severely traumatized earlier this year to the point of a PTSD diagnosis.

i think the part that scares me the most is that i cannot bring myself to care. i keep thinking im recovering but it feels like depression is so deeply rooted within me, i don’t know if i will ever get better. i took my health so seriously at one point & made so much progress & none of it mattered the moment i got traumatized to the point of collapse.

now i just don’t care about my health anymore. i have to because my dependents need me to. but i just don’t.

i know i need to talk to a health professional. im just looking for community right now i guess. no one in my life is equipped to handle this nor do they have insight into what it’s like to live this way.

Hey guys, I want to share my story because I don’t know what to do right now and I’m really struggling. I have been addicted to laxatives for about 7-10 years now. I’m currently 21 years old and I really want to stop.

When I was around 11 years old I got diagnosed with pcos. I was techically considered obese was really struggling at this period and decided to lose weight. When I turned 15 after I reached a highest weight of and decided enough was enough. Since this was during covid I decided to really dedicate my time to weight loss. I lost a lot of weight which I was so proud but I also found laxatives. My parents had used them and recommended them to me since I dealt with serious constipation. It would take me 3 days to have a normal bowel movement. So I started taking dulcolax. As I got more dependent, I started increasing the medicine.

My weight would fluctuate a lot during this period. Mainly due to the laxatives. I then ended up going to a new dietician where I stopped my use of dulcolax. I had been taking around 6 pills a day. When I went off I struggled a lot and was bloated for around a month. So I decided to go to my pharmacist and he prescribed a natural laxative. I would take 4 pills a day.

I don’t want to say that I have an eating disorder or anything but I’m just so upset about my dependence on the laxative. I need advice on how to go off it because it’s really affecting my life and my mental health. I constantly feel that I can’t do it because I know I will gain weight and feel pain, but I also want to be free from this medication that is causing me so much stress. Does anyone have advice on what to do.

Hello,

I’m about to reconnect with and date a former acquaintance of mine who has (or had; don’t know about her progress) anorexia. Over the course of the years we mainly sent time together going out to dance and eat. But at some point she “vanished” which was connected to her therapy. She unfortunately never told me about this herself so that I someday got told by someone we both know.

I know this is incredibly general but I want that she feels comfortable with me and that I don’t care about how she looks. At the same point I want to assist her on her journey.

Tl;Dr, I’ve got two questions:
1. What are things i should avoid saying, doing etc.
2. What date ideas are suitable for someone with an ED

Again, I’m very sorry for the shallowness of this post, but in my opinion there’s nothing better than advice from actual affected people.

I decided to talk to my best friend about my ED. I struggle to talk to people about my mental health face to face. However it’s been especially bad lately and I knew I had to tell him we don’t keep secrets. He just listened. He didn’t freak out or judge me he just listened and encouraged me. He let me talk for as long as I wanted and get everything out. I’ve had people try to scare me out of my ED for years now and it’s not like I didn’t want to stop but for the first time I feel like someone genuinely got through to me by just listening and being gentle and supportive. I’m starting an outpatient program soon because of that conversation and I wanted to share that with you guys.

No discussion of weight/behaviors.

Curious to hear how other people’s doctors were and how clear they were about your diagnosis is/was.

Recently I was going through my medical records because I’m switching doctors, and discovered that the diagnosis I had been telling people I had was incorrect; up until I had my first relapse, every document refers to me having ARFID, before it switches to anorexia with no mention of ARFID or any ARFID related behaviors.

The behaviors I started with were, in hindsight and from the documentation, were very much more ARFID than AN, but it was never presented to me that way nor was I ever told directly (same with my depression diagnosis, but that’s a different issue…)

Is this normal? I’m aware that switching between EDs is, but I was never really told directly what I had was X eating disorder/that it had developed into something else and it just really threw me to find because I think it would be relevant to my psychiatrist/current doctor, especially since I’m currently having issues.

It sucks feeling guilty for eating and not even for body image issues now. Like I don't even hate my body that much anymore but i still feel the need to eat as little as possible. It's basically almost thoughtless compulsion now instead of deliberately doing it. At least i don't make myself throw up anymore

Really getting concerned about this because I've been on T for a bit (FTM) and i am getting extremely hungry now and super tired when i eat the way i normally eat. Like I don't think I'm going to die from it but it's definitely negatively impacting my work and home life. Any tips?

Curious about this because I've read over and over again that, in early recovery, people with restrictive EDs tend to be constipated and bloated because our metabolism is slowed down. However, I go through periods of remission and through relapses, and whenever I get out of a relapse and start eating adequately, I get the exact opposite. Sure, I do get horribly bloated and gassy but I'm also occupying the toilet all the time and when I eat something, anything, it just flies straight through me.

I feel really weird about it not only because it's gross but also because all articles about EDs and recovery only talk about constipation, not about...this. When I was experiencing it for the first time, my doctor didn't even connect it to my ED because of how atypical it is and my therapist didn't think of it being connected either. Considering that it's a pattern though, I can safely say that it is just what happens whenever I get out of a relapse.

I’m not seeking a diagnosis and I don’t want to get too specific as to not trigger others

The basic rundown;
Obese since age 5. Parents had me on many programs since then up until 18. Eventually had surgery at my biggest. Gained some weight back and went on a GLP1. Currently at my lowest weight which is still considered overweight.

I’m in therapy and IOP for other mental health concerns. My therapist and IOP tell me to seek an ED specialist because I do not eat anywhere near what my calorie intake should be or have more than a meal a day. My argument is that I’m on a GLP1 which makes me not want to eat. I feel I don’t have an ED since I’m on this medication.

Idk am I in denial? Do I seek out an ED specialist? I guess my biggest concern is what will a specialist do if I don’t believe I have an ED and don’t want to change this right now?

I've suffered from AN & ARFID since I was 12, I'm now 44 so it's been a very long time. I've never considered I had BN until my specialist wrote it as another disorder I have. I thought BN was binging & purging which I've never done, my specialist is basing the diagnosis solely on my laxative abuse. Does this figure?

I apologize if this is too much information. This is my first post and am hoping to get any type of information.

Symptom: chronic bloating. All day. Everyday. It does not matter what I eat or do, I am constantly bloated. And it is not a cute little bloat, I look pregnant.

History: In school I was always smaller. In high school, I gained a little belly fat - normal.

My freshman year of college, I was at community college and I noticed no change. During the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I felt the need to lose a little weight. I also remember talking to people about having tummy issues (the start of my bloat?? Can't remember if this is true or superimposed into my memory). Minimal to no bloat. This is the summer that I start going to the gym. Up until high school, I did not like being active. In high school, I played tennis. In college, I began to value exercise and am now pretty consistent.

My sophomore year of college, I went to a university. The reason I bring up these dates is because throughout my university experience, I have been under immense stress (could this affect my symptoms?). Symptoms weren't too bad at the start of the semester. I started feeling "fat" after every meal and felt the need to lose weight (did not realize that this was bloat!). I gained some weight. Spring semester of my sophomore year, I am at my heaviest weight, ever. I start HEAVILY restricting my meals (we're talking one meal a day. I can barely function because food is all that I think about). I lost quite some weight within three to four weeks (continued one meal a day with bingeing for about a month). I start bingeing and also (I am so incredibly embarrassed to admit this), start taking my roommates food. I lose my period.

The summer between my sophomore and junior of university, I go to basic training and AIT (for the military). I am severely underfeeding myself. I lose my hair. I am unaware of what I am doing to my body. I am out in the sun and running around all day and eating undressed salads. I always felt "full" but it was just because I bloated so fast. It got to the point where many of my drill sergeants and battle buddies were concerned, however, I was convinced that was all that my body needed. I discover low-FODMAPs. I am at home for what should have been my junior year fall semester. I attempt low-FODMAPS, I am HEAVILY restricting my diet, and hit my lowest adult weight. My GI doctor tests me for a slew of issues, and everything comes back negative. My heart rate is extremely low and we chalk it up to me being a runner. Spring semester of my junior year, I return to school and I start gaining some weight. I try low-FODMAPs but it is hard. My stomach would be flat in the mornings occasionally (but I am also just not eating ENOUGH food). Halfway through the semester, I am starting to inch my way out of that that headspace. I gain my period back. April and May I see a therapist. I start throwin' back food (I love it again? Well, I never stopped loving food, I was scared of it). The bloat is bloatin'. My goal for the summer was to de-stress (does not happen). I had two long trips and I was not eating as healthy as I usually do.

Now we are up to the present - fall semester of my senior year in college. I am EXTREMELY stressed. I am not eating as healthy as I would like. I was very intense about my workouts at the start of the semester, and now I am burning out. I hate to admit it, but stealing roommates food has not subsided. I have seen a nutritionist twice now. At first she thought that the bloat was because I was not eating breakfast (no). She believes that it is the re-feeding process taking place. She would like me to get re-tested for some GI issues.

Questions: What do you think could be the cause of my chronic bloat? How long does chronic underfeeding have to occur for bloating to become a symptom? How long does refeeding take for bloating to stop? Will I ever get my body back/stop feeling/looking like this?

I value any thoughts. This is hard for me to admit, and some of this information is embarrassing to share. I understand that some of it is weird, so I would appreciate no negative comments on that (or perhaps ways of stopping it. I'm talking the food stealing, because whoah, that's weird. Why am I doing that?).

I've been in recovery for 30 days now, after restricting for around 16 months. But I never feel hungry or full anymore, it's like my cues are completely gone and I'm constantly at a state of neutrality. It's very confusing because I don't ever have a feeling of hunger, but at the same time no matter how much | eat I never get any sense of fullness (It would take me to eat 4k+ to actually feel some sort of fullness). All I want is to be able to actually FEEL hungry/ full like a normal person. After each meal it's like I haven't eaten anything and am left with that same feeling of neutrality. So right now I'm wondering if I should kind of go "all in" and honor this lack of fullness by eating until | can actually get that feeling no matter how high the amount is, or if I should stick by the recovery amount range and end my day of eating regardless if I feel full or not? For context, I lost Quite a substantial amount of my body weight in the span of 16 months and am now quite UW and I know that I need to restore weight and eat more, but I'm confused on if the overall intake or time of day/consistency matter more for bringing these cues back. I've also lost my period for quite some time, and l would love any advice on what helped you/what you think I should do to help my situation.

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Hello, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year.

She has a severe eating disorder and that worries me.

We are in LDR so I can't help much but I need any kind of advice and help because I'm truly worried about her health.

Sadly therapy is out of the question(family issues)

I went to residential treatment at the end of November last year and left in February, and then did PHP and IOP until the end of June this year. I genuinely was doing so much better for so long and I thought for a while that I was almost fully recovered.

A couple weeks ago I spiraled into a depression that always seems to come this time of year and slipped back into old habits. My therapist said today that if there’s not significant progress within the next week then I will have to go back to residential.

I feel so guilty and I don’t have high hopes that I’ll be able to make enough progress to not go because I’m really struggling. And I do think going back would really help me. But I feel so much shame and like embarrassment to go back there after doing so well, and it feels like such a quick turn around. I literally sent my residential team a letter a month ago telling them how well I was doing and I feel like they’re going to be disappointed in me. I’m scared my family is disappointed too. I’m disappointed in me.

I think it would help me to hear similar stories (preferably with a happy ending)? I’m starting to feel like there’s no hope for recovery if I can go from doing so well to needing to go back to residential in just a few weeks.

Hello all;

I have a student/client who is in their late teens that suffers from Emetophobia (fear of vomiting), and as such has lately been severely restricting their food intake from that fear. They mentioned the phobia to me recently, and I knew it was an issue that’s been affecting them as of late. Their mother has spoken with me as well and has said they’re acting out from this a lot lately. I presume they’re in therapy for it, though I’m not sure. They do have a fairly good relationship with their mother based on what they’ve mentioned before to me, so I don’t feel concerned on that front, tho I’ll obvs keep an eye/ear out for their safety.

What I’m seeking is any advice anyone may have on something like this, if anyone has dealt with this before? I’m looking for the best ways that I can support them and help them as they deal with this, beyond just making sure we’ve got ample snacks and food on hand when they’re here.

Thank you in advance for any help and resources you all can provide!! Thank you.

TW: Eating disorders, childhood experiences, disordered eating

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 13, so I’ve lived with it for more than half my life. Something I’ve been struggling with lately is the fear that I’m subconsciously passing it on to my daughter, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

My own childhood definitely influenced my relationship with food and my body. My mom was very critical of herself, was constantly dieting, and even suggested Weight Watchers to me when I was around 10 years old. I also grew up in a very traditional household where we were expected to clean our plates or we couldn’t go to bed. Looking back, I think these experiences contributed to my relationship with food, which eventually developed into binge eating and bulimia.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I’m incredibly conscious of not repeating those patterns.

I try very hard not to speak negatively about my body or criticize my appearance in front of her. I’m careful about the language I use, too. For example, if we’re talking about makeup, I’ll say it’s something you can use to look fancy rather than something you need to look beautiful. I want her to grow up knowing that her worth has absolutely nothing to do with how she looks.

I also want to mention that I am in treatment for my eating disorder and have been for over a year now. I’m actively working on my recovery and trying to understand and unlearn a lot of the things I grew up with. I take this seriously, which is part of why this worries me so much. Even though I’m getting help and doing the work, I still worry about the things my daughter might be picking up on without me realizing it.

I know that even when we’re careful about what we say, children can notice our behaviours, our emotions, and our relationship with food. I worry that she might be subconsciously picking up on my eating disorder, even though I try so hard to shield her from it.

I feel guilty thinking that something I’ve struggled with for so much of my life could affect her, especially because I know firsthand how painful it can be.

I want so badly to break this cycle. I don’t want her to grow up with the same thoughts and struggles that I’ve had. At the same time, I know I can’t completely hide every struggle from her, and I’m trying to figure out what a healthy approach to parenting looks like when you’re dealing with an eating disorder yourself.

For parents who have struggled with eating disorders, how have you navigated raising children? Have you worried about passing your relationship with food and your body image on to them? What have you done to help your children develop a healthy relationship with food and themselves, even while you’re still working through your own struggles?

I’d especially love to hear from people who grew up with a parent who had an eating disorder, or whose parents struggled with dieting and body image. What do you wish your parents had done differently? What helped you?

I’m not looking for judgment. I’m genuinely trying to learn how to do better for my daughter, and I could really use some advice from people who understand.

When he tells me he's 'trying to get healthier' and lose weight

Telling me what he's eating

Always talking about his one meal a day

How he's started eating sugar free jello (my lowcal safe food)

How he's walking and working out more and buying work out equipment

I don't know how to tell him he's just pissing me off and I feel borderline insulted that's he's adapted parts of my disorder to his life to lose weight

And I'm just generally triggered whenever he brings up health and eating

How has everyone else navigated this